#reading binges like this yeet me right back into middle school

[black-rose-writings]

Reading Siege and Storm because I hate myself

To begin, I’d like to state that this is my first read-through and I only have vague idea of the plot I’ve gathered from fanfics and tumblr posts.

Long post ahead

Chapter 1

So... at first I was like - huh, this isn’t as bad as I thought, but the moment Alina gets introspective, it all goes to hell.

Like, she’s being physically made sick by not using her powers, which is making her feel useless - like, she says, pretty much verbatim: “The only thing I was ever good at was being a Sun Summoner and I’m not that anymore.”

I’m gonna beat those paragraphs over the head of anyone, who says Alina got a good ending.

I’ve also noticed just how often the like “I pushed that thought away” is used and more often than not, it’s used on thoughts that should probably not be pushed away.

Ah, yes, here he comes, my boy Darkles, being the dramatic bitch he always is. We get it, you’re the hot villain, tempting the good and pure heroine away from being good and pure.

And I’m just now realizing how many times in this chapter has Alina lamented their lack of privacy. We have to ensure the reader doesn’t hink she’s *gasp* sleeping with Mal.

Chapter 2

What?

Alina is tripping balls while being put under by a Heartrender, got it.

Darkling is being the voice of reason, but I’m getting the distinct feeling it won’t last.

Ivan gets one point, because Alina is in fact a traitor, but he’s also being a cunt, so it doesn’t really count.

Alina at Sturmhond: Do you even care about Ravka?

Me at Alina: Do you?

Chapter 3

“Mermaids are not real”. I’m pretty sure they are in the Grishaverse.

My boy Darkles is still making sense, but Alina is dedicated to being against him just for the hell of it, it seems.

Did this bitch just throw a tantrum, because he told her, what we can assume is the truth? Okay. Like, I get that she’s at best 18, but still. Not exactly the type of protagonist whose head I like being in.

And in that moment, dozens of smut fics were born.

Chapter 4

Wow, that was quick.

Aaand. What had just happened?

Chapter 5

Sturmhond is a funny bitch, I’ll give him that.

And this entire conversation, it seems like Mal’s entire purpose is to stand behind Alina threateningly and repeat what she said, lol.

I’d like to remind Alina (and LB) that a king in an absolutist monarchy (which is what Ravka appears to be) is very much a tyrant. Don’t make it sound like Ravka didn’t have a tyrant before. And at the very least, my boy Darkles seems pretty competent.

A man calling himself a Storm Dog likes dogs. No shit.

Chapter 6

I hate Mal. Dude, this is your girlfriend, maybe like... listen to her? Don’t bludgeon her with the one other guy she was kinda-sorta with, when you are a well known manwhore?

I don’t know man, I don’t like him.

Everyone: You can’t have more than one amplifier, it’s dangerous.

Alina: Haha, sparkles go brrrr

Chapter 7

In other news, pirates are funny.

Holy shit, they have a plane.

That was... a lot. And we’re crossing the Fold again, yay.

Chapter 8

You feel bad for the Volcra but not for the people you’ve left for dead in the Fold last time? Okay.

Baby Volcra. Am I supposed to say “ew” or “aww”? If I tried doing both at the same time, it would probably sound like one.

Jesus fucking Christ this book is a ride.

Did Alina really just have an “oh no, he’s hot?” moment? *sighs*

Puppy boy has a title longer than Daenerys, jesus.

Alina, my dear, you could have waited for a bit before doing that. There’s like thirty soldier with guns around you and you’ve just punched a prince.

Then again, you’ve never been smart, have you?

Chapter 9

For once, I completely agree with him. I know you two have lost your one shared braincell on that first crossing of the Fold but still, that was very dumb of you, Alina.

I’m starting to get why people were calling Nikolai “Darkling light”. Definitelly seems appropriate.

Mal, calm the fuck down, that was the least romantic proposal I’ve ever heard and you know it.

You two didn’t even let Alina get a word in for the last page. What right do you have to her, Mal, huh? Nikolai is making sense and you’re being an idiot.

What’s your deal Mal? What the fuck do you want?

And why in the hell are you the endgame love interest?

That’s an awful lot of guilt-tripping you’re doing there, Mal. No need to be pissy about it.

Chapter 10

The bones thing is definitelly yikes.

Saints, Mal, are you on your period or something? Alina doesn’t belong to you. Alina can make her own choices. Get a grip.

“You think I’m like the Darkling?” Yes. The Darkling isn’t all bad. You’re at war. No need to get your panties in a twist over a few fingers.

Oh, look, Alina has a cult now, nice.

Chapter 11

Your “dad” is a rapist, Nikolai. Quite possibly a pedo. He got exactly what he deserved.

I’d go for the second option. Especially after that stunt. Jesus, you could have asked her beforehand.

At least Darkles had the decency to make out with her in private.

Also like... why is every single person in this series so far an asshole?

Chapter 12

We meet the King again, unfortunately.

Alina gets Darkles’s old job.

This should be a total disaster, but let’s see where it goes anyway.

Chapter 13

Alina’s nuts, yay.

(I know they have a Force-bond-thingy. I also know they did it before Reylo did.)

Chapter 14

Oh boy, Alina’s not doing as bad as I thought.

For the 100th time in this book, I wish I had Nikolai’s confidence. Though it is getting a bit too much.

Puppy boy is dropping some truth bombs. Nice.

But he doesn’t realize that my boy Darkles has very good reasons to not align with Fjerdans - a) they think he’s a demon and b) they want Grisha dead.

I’m not gonna say she was, but like... the monarchy is very much corrupt.

Oh, boy, Baghra. This one’s gonna go well.

Yep, Baghra’s as pleasant as ever.

So... Baghra’s plan in book 1 really had been to just have Alina run away and hope for the best? Jesus Christ, lady. I’m not saying she deserved to have her eyes taken away, but she is definitelly a trash person and I’m not surprised her son turned out the way he did.

Also, I’m fairly certain that Baghra is literally slowly killing herself - that the reason she looks so old and frail is because she’s started to supress her power and it’s literally killing her, because, you know, she’s bonkers old.

Chapter 15

Nerd Alina > Self-pitying Alina

Also, I’m just saying, Alina comments on Zoya being attractive a whole lot - I get that she’s meant to be insecure, but I’m interpreting it as her being gay, because I need some happiness in my life, okay?

Just kill the sleazy old Rasputin-wanna-be. There’s plenty of them to go around in this series.

Chapter 16

Vasily takes after his father in creep factor.

Why not the Darkling being courted by a horny prince? Be a bit creative.

Chapter 17

Nikolai has big ADHD energy and I love him for it. Fits right in with the heavily autism-coded Fabricators.

*sighs at heteronormativity again*

*sighs at improper gendering of titles*

Date night with Mal. This is gonna be a disaster, isn’t it?

Chapter 18

Fun night of cultural appropriation, yay.

I hate cultists.

LET. ALINA. GO. FERAL. Please.

You two are going to give me a headache, I swear.

Darkles cockblocking Alina. And Malice threw a tantrum. Nice.

Chapter 19

You’re way too harsh on Genya, Alina.

Horny Alina rights.

They have a laser, now. Cool. Or, well, enormously hot.

Mal is being a drunk a-hole. Great. When does he become likable? Does he ever?

Banter between Mal and Alina? Kinda weird, always somehow comes back to either of them being insecure.

Banter between Alina and Nikolai? I’m all for it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a Darklina trash, but like... Nikolai is fun. I could see him and Alina having an arranged political marriage and ending up falling in love years into it, that’s all I’m saying.

Chapter 20

Just let this one go, Alina, please. You two are not working out. Please, end it with him. You’ll both probably be happier. (I’m saying this with the full knowledge that Malina is endgame).

Jesus Alina, get your shit together. You have every right to be mad, because you two didn’t actually break up, you didn’t kiss Nikolai and also, I don’t like Mal.

Sooo... when is Alina going to realize her manchild of a boyfriend is an amplifier?

Chapter 21

Alina has the horny sickness, lol.

Jesus Christ, girl, I don’t want to read your vaguely suicidal thoughts.

Mal, you fucking idiot.

Alina, stop defending Mal.

Chapter 22

Alina has a logical thought? Impossible.

Finally, some action.

Chapter 23

Oh, boi, this is going great.

Oh, boi, Alina’s having another martyr moment.

And, we’re done.

Finally.

That was a ride. Nothing really happens for like ten chapters and then everything happens in one and a half.

#shadow and bone #grishaverse #siege and storm #review #darklina #anti mal #I guess #reading binges like this yeet me right back into middle school

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Good Eyes | Writing Update

Hey People of Earth!

Ya girl is back for another MOTH WORK writing update, and this time we’re talking about chapter eleven, aka GOOD EYES. Just a reminder before we get started that I do have a Moth Work tab if y’all want to binge all the updates/catch up on ones you missed! Check it out HERE.

This chapter is a bit of a special one, as it’s the final chapter in Lonan’s POV!

If y’all have been following the updates since before August-ish, you would know that before this, I covered mostly Harrison’s emotional turmoil lmao, but spontaneously decided to add another POV because this is my guilty pleasures project and I wanted to! This POV is Lonan’s.

I really struggled toward the end of writing Lonan’s chapters, and I felt this was the POV’s fault. After chapter six, I couldn’t really sink my teeth into his head, and really raced to the finish line to get back to Harrison. In reality, this was actually me not understanding that the disconnect was because I wasn’t embracing the style the book wanted to be. HOWEVER, since finishing his POV (and the entire book << as I am editing this post), I am! sad! I do miss his Lonanisms. 

GOOD EYES is split into four scenes. They go as follows (cw: drug addiction, alcoholism):

Scene A:

After Lonan’s relapse in the previous chapter, good ol’ Eliza takes him to the hospital she works at so he can finally get some professional help.

Lonan is in the waiting room and all is going well! Until a lady he doesn't know accuses him of wearing her son’s guardian angel chain + jacket and OOP the tea is that he is!

The woman who sees him in the waiting room is Harrison’s mother, Suzanna. I’ve planned her since I was 15 and never had a project to put her in so it was WILD to finally write her! She’s an AA leader.

Scene B:

Direct continuation of the last scene, except this time Lonan is shook

He’s heard many stories about Suzanna and the last place he expects her to be is here!

He pulls a Lonan and attempts to yeet away from that situation lol (does not work)

Scene C:

We start with Lonan recounting a story Harrison once told him about a knife. He’s thinking about this because he’s helping Suzanna chop vegetables. They’ve since moved back to Eliza’s apartment.

(CW: blood, accidental injury) Lonan cuts himself accidentally and Suzanna jumps at the opportunity to mother him. Her motherly disposition shakes him (he ain’t expecting this).

(CW: abuse) This scene is where this chapter gets its title. Suzanna compliments Lonan’s eyes (which he believes are his worst feature as they’re the physical factor that most closely resembles his father) and calls them “good eyes”. This is the first time he’s considered his eyes as anything but reminders of his abusive father, and is one of the gentlest things I’ve written ahhhhh. Though Suz isn’t in this book for very long, I do think her presence has a profound effect on Lonan who has never had a healthy parental relationship. (AKA we need more!!)

Scene D:

A pretty short scene!

Our girl Eliza gets home after work, and is lowkey amazed that Lonan has helped cook dinner (me too lmaooo)

Lonan is really feeling his work--he out here setting tables, folding napkins, feeling like he could be a wedding planner. In the middle of his #MasterChefMoment, the doorbell rings

And in dramatic fashion guess who on the other side of the door lool

It’s Harrison hahahaha the chapter ends on a cliffhanger hahaaha I feel 13 again!

I really like this chapter! It has some really interesting character work particularly between Suz and Lonan as we get to see two sides of both that we never really do--vulnerability. I wrote this chapter over the first weekend I moved back to school after break and it was such a lovely experience. A really nice, meditative chapter that I really needed. It was the perfect way to leave Lonan’s head.

Excerpts:

(CW: The next two excerpts deal with betta fish fighting)

This is a description of the betta fish in the waiting room that Lonan watches that is totally not an explicit metaphor for his relationship with Harrison def not I have 100% not used this metaphor in another story called Fishbowl starring the two of them noooo should this book have been called “it’s all a metaphor for fighter fish” maybeeee:

The waiting room is fluorescent and empty, the only movement the irregular swish of fighter fish across a fish tank. He read somewhere it’s never a good idea to keep two together, but in the tank they circle. One is pale and translucent like diluted bone, its silk tail fluttering with each jag through the water. The next is a shift of blueness that opalizes with each peck at the water’s surface. They synchronize before one flits its tail so the other jitters toward the glass. It’s a mistake they’ve been put together—they will only kill each other in time. 

(I’m a real sucker for betta fish as I had many as a child but Meatball was my #1 right hand man [and the reason why I always seem to describe every betta fish as blue] who lived the longest and I miss him to this day I 100% never ever put two males together tho do not do that!!!)

Here’s another I’m including this because my favourite thing Lonan has ever said in response to someone’s *confusion* is “I need to see a doctor” lmao mooooood (tw: some violent imagery here):

“They shouldn’t be in there together,” he says. His head like the impact of a skipping rock. The rings. He raises his hand when she says nothing, and points to the fish. He doesn’t know which one will die, just that one will.

“You’re wearing his things,” she says.

“They’re going to kill each other.”

“The fish?”

The last time he saw him. The rain. The motel. The neon light eating them both slowly. The things Lonan said—purposefully so he could make a clean getaway. Things that made Harrison wince like Lonan had just bitten his wrist and was holding him there to bleed out. 

“I think so.”

Suzanna turns to look at the fish, and then turns back to him. The vacancy in her face is gone—she’s swollen with confusion.

The fire. The dark room. How he knows each ridge of Harrison’s teeth, each metacarpal, each vertebra, each rib, like they’re his own, like they were carved out of the same thing. 

“I need to see a doctor.”  

(^^ also this whole knowing every bone thing was supposed to be romantic but sounds more like necromancyyy hahaaaaaha Lonan’s bone kink EXPOSED)

Here’s another! TW: blood!! Here’s some description of Lonan accidentally cutting his hand + some Lonan x Suzanna relationship development:

(also Suzanna’s story about the first time she cut herself is ACTUALLY just CNF except I left out some of the gruesome details :’)))

“It happens all the time.” He thinks this might be a continuation of a sentence, but he’s missed the first part. By the time she’s telling him about her first time cutting herself in the kitchen—chopping chives in a hurry for a better omelette--she’s touching his hand again, wrapping a paper towel around it to staunch the bleeding.

Lonan glances down at the stain of red eating the white when two fingers tip his chin up, warm and surprisingly callused. “Not there. Look at me.” He only realizes she’s said this because he’s shaking. “So I tell the guy his advertisement is a lie—no accidents in the kitchen, and what happens when I get mine in the mail? An accident.” She continues easily, like she hasn’t been interrupted.

“What?” Something ringing in his ear. He tries to tip it out with his good hand, but nothing comes out. Again, he looks at his finger—she’s switched to a new paper towel. The blood saturates it, and his pupils dilate at the sight of it—something grossly exciting.

“Up here, honey. I’ve heard I have nice eyes.”

Here’s an excerpt that proves Suz is the *biggest* mood! Her dialogue (the vivid bit) is actually direct mirroring of something Harrison says in an earlier memory Lonan recounted (tho I don’t like the writing in that part so :))):

She leans against the sink for a moment and pinches her nose. He hasn’t meant for his eye colour to upset her, but when she recovers, she moves straight past him to the bloody potatoes on the cutting board. Quickly, she removes the unsalvageable ones, dumps the cutting board into the sink. She begins talking about how much rain they’ve gotten, a show she liked downtown. Something about dogs, or doctors—he doesn’t quite hear what she says. He’s distracted looking at her. How she moves, sturdily. Almost too much. The way she picks up where he left off, dicing, chopping, peeling, like she’s been doing it all along.

“I forgot what it felt like to operate.” He doesn’t know if she refers to being a mother or chopping potatoes. Suzanna is pretty like her son. An edge to her that softens as she speaks. Golden hair that glitters like sunrays, even in the fake apartment light. He doesn’t know how it feels to miss a son. How it feels to carry him in your face, like a second skin. “It’s vivid,” she says.

So that’s it for this update! There are a few more to go (tho I may combine a few) so the Moth Work party ain’t over yet! 

For now, I hope y’all enjoyed!

--Rachel

#writing #amwriting #writeblr #writingupdates #writerblr #fostered #mothwork