#really cool Amber/Ember story line that how

[ecto-stone]

𝙀𝙘𝙩𝙤𝙗𝙚𝙧𝙝𝙖𝙪𝙣𝙩 - 𝘽𝙖𝙣𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙚 𝙓 𝙒𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙩𝙝 Can You Heard the Sound of The Screaming Spirit Ranging  from deep within the Hell known as Creation.

#hachi art #ectoberhaunt #ectoberhaunt22 #ectoberhaunt 2022 #EH banshee #EH wraith #Friend from other side AU? #Danny Phantom #what happene when you mix Shinori experience with the ghost and molly and Danny phatom #really cool Amber/Ember story line that how

[emerald-amidst-gold]

WIP Wednesday

It’s Wednesday?! *scoffs* Preposterous! 

Thank you @noire-pandora and @rosella-writes for the tags! I send you hugs and flowers and LOVE! >:3

Seriously though, this week has felt long to me, as have the last several weeks to be exact, and despite those long, long days, I haven’t really been able to write beyond this ongoing monster of a ‘short’ story. I wouldn’t really say I have writer’s block. I have ideas, I can write little bits and pieces, but I lose momentum from a lack of energy. *shrugs* If anything, I’m treating this story as an exercise to help me cement some of Fane’s inner workings and practice more intimate events. *waggles eyebrows*

So! Have a bit of a long snippet of Solas and Fane being sappy. They’re so fucking sappy, I swear. No shame.

“...What I’m trying to say is, titles have no bearing if you don’t let them. It’s easier said than done, I know, and that’s why I constantly need the reaffirmation of my name. The spiral is deep, and one syllable is all it takes to slow the fall.” Another sigh, this one far heavier, far more aged. “I know what it means, what it feels to have your identity shredded to ribbons, Solas. I know that so much it hurts. And that’s why I’ll say two syllables for you, so you don’t forget the first title; yourself.”, he stated, tone serious, but warm. “And no matter the other artificial titles, the good and the bad, you are you. Furthermore, you are my sky. Endless. Enduring. Unbending. Eternal. You were all of that to me before you were Fen’harel, or even Solas, or anything else. It may be just another title, but I hope, I hope, it’s one that matters to you because a sky matters more than anything to a dragon. Anything, and I won’t let the expanse that is you be taken from me as surely as the actual sky has been.”

Solas blinked at that waterfall of tender words, entranced by the look of earnestness on Fane’s ivory, but inked visage, the faded green lines almost seeming transparent due to how the setting sun filtering into their quarters bathed them in gold. He was lost, he was reeling, he was grappling between wanting to argue and wanting to relinquish his own stubbornness before letting out an airy laugh, shaking his head as the latter won out. How much more could his heart take before it burst? Such devotion, such pure, unwavering devotion was meant for better people than he, and yet, he couldn’t balk at it, usher it away. It would seem he was not the only one to have come so far. 

“...I do not deserve that. I do not deserve such a...christening as that.”, he said, despite his thoughts. He may have come far, but some habits were hard to break. “It baffles me how you can be so certain that your feelings will not change when you know what is to come, when you know what I will be called upon to do.”

“We, Solas. You’re not alone anymore because I won’t let you be alone. No amount of words or deeds will change that either. You know that.”, Fane said, voice harsh, deep, but caring in its timbre.

Solas chuckled quietly. “I know that you are stubborn. Almost infuriatingly so.”, he tried to joke and it had a bit of the desired effect as Fane rolled his eyes, a ghost of a smile on his lips.

“You walked into my domain centuries ago, elf.”, Fane growled, but it held no disgust or anger. “You poked a dragon and earned its heart, so suffer.”

Solas couldn’t help but let out a small laugh at that. “I suppose I have no choice in the matter?”, he asked, but he felt lighter, calmer. How easily the dread and the ice melted away. How such a thing could happen was beyond him, but he would be lying if he said that he despised this heat, this warmth of souls.

Fane smirked. “None at all.”, he retorted casually before leaning in to nudge at one of Solas’ cheeks, growl slipping into a quiet, but deep purr as their eyes connected, gazed into each other’s sunlit souls. “So, let me show you how I can be so certain, how you can be so deserving of what I feel.”, he said next within a heartbeat, eager, but even harsher with conviction before it dropped to a baritone whisper. “Let me show you how much I love you, Solas.”

Solas barely had time to fully process those tender words before Fane took all thought away, lips connecting with his own, warm and velvet, but somehow cool to the touch. The gentle suddenness of that connection had him startling a bit, so unused to the reserved man before him to be the one to initiate, but he relaxed soon enough, eyes falling shut and allowing tenderness and certainty to soak into him. 

Their lips moved slowly, languidly, but there was an ember to be awoken in their movements, to be sparked and set ablaze. However, there was no rush, no hurry to meet that bonfire. There was only gentle tending as one of Fane’s hands came up to loosely grip his jaw, tilting it just so to dive in deeper, etching his message of affirmation with tender kissing and soft, cool huffs through his nose. The other was busy kneading into one of his hips, a sturdy arm wrapped around to keep them close together. Solas weaved both of his hands into Fane’s head of slightly messy hair, drawing him closer, deeper into a spiral bliss, and humming deep in his chest as a velvet sweep of his dragon’s tongue against his bottom lip had his mind growing foggy.  

However, despite the fog of his mind, Solas kept his mouth shut, halting his movements of the kiss, and smirked against Fane’s lips when a resounding growl sounded. His dragon should know good things came to those who waited.

...Or rather, continued to push. He wanted to see how heavy a dragon’s passion could be, but first things first.

Solas pulled away a bit and smirked more when Fane attempted to chase, curling his fingers in snowy strands to keep him still. Another, deeper growl left those enticing lips at that, nearly making him let go and give in from his made his whole tremble with desire, but he remained steadfast, gazing calmly into smoldering, gold-emerald orbs with a hum.

“You may growl all you wish, ma’isenatha, but I will not relent that easily.” He chuckled softly when Fane almost appeared to be pouting. His heart truly could not take much more of this endearing, stubborn man. “Even so, you are becoming a force to be reckoned with. It won’t be long until I do relent to your will.”, he purred, chuckling a bit when Fane’s visage turned pink yet again from his praise, pout turning into a slight grimace of sheepishness. “Before that, however, I wish to continue where we left off, but you stated the endeavor of mindful connection tires you out. Extremely. Will it do so in this case?”, he asked, common concern threatening to ruin the moment and making his smile falter. He wanted to let the mood take the reins, but his dragon’s comfort came first and foremost.

Always.

Fane shrugged, clearing his throat of embarrassment and his own momentary excitement. “In the past, yeah, but that’s because I would try and force the link. Since I can’t even do that anymore, it’s not so terrible.”, he stated simply, leaning in to nuzzle just below Solas’ ear slowly. “It’s no different than sex, to be fair. Intense, and then an afterglow. I’ll feel tired afterwards, but not bone achingly so.” A growling purr, a mixture of thunder and a babbling creek followed after those words, housing more. “Other...actions will make that happen. We’ll make sure of that.” 

Solas hummed contentedly at the nuzzle, feeling how his chest began to quicken in its breaths at the heated words. “Mm, indeed we will.”, he murmured, a warmth able to be detected along his neck, cheeks, and ears. He was blushing. Lovely. It always threw him off when Fane would utter seduction. “But, I am curious as to how this ability of yours replicates sex.”

It was Solas’ turn to be pleasantly pleased with himself as Fane’s face flushed, pink shifting deeper to where his freckles were washed out and eyes were a titillating shade of ochre. Two could utter seduction, and after Halamshiral, he had pinpointed that Fane nearly dissolved if the word ‘sex’ was uttered from his lips. A dragon’s beauty had many layers, and while they were rare to be witnessed, his dragon was an open book during such carnal pursuits. The memory of the few times they had engaged physically and deeply nearly had Solas crumbling from shudders and soft pants, but the way Fane was now kissing just under his ear, face still flushed, but more from excitement now than a flustered disposition, was doing that also. How easily the mask fell and shattered from just a brush of lips, a glint of gold as two-toned orbs glanced up at him, a roll of thunder housed in a body so different, but so very much the same.

How easily the game could be tilted towards the other at any given moment.

“It’s a dance of thoughts, a waltz of wills.” The Elvhen dragon halted his kisses to whisper against the sensitive skin below his ear, breathless and husky, before giving it a firmer kiss. “You felt it after our sparring match, and that was just a dying connection - whisper of an afterglow. Rage had drowned out most of the euphoric intensity. But here, with us so close to each other, calm and willing...”, he trailed off, pulling back to level Solas with a solid amber gaze, abilities flaring to life with the emotions swarming around them. “...you’ll feel how deep the line runs, and so will I. After all, what’s more revealing and intimate than piercing each other’s thoughts? The connection of bodies is simple, but the mind... That’s more complicated and all creatures yearn for the depth of understanding.”

Solas let out an airy sigh, reaching up with a hand to stroke a deeply flushed cheek of freckles, ink and ivory. “So, it is a combination of thoughts, a glimpse into the inner when the outer offers no clear answer.”, he said, Fane responding with a tiny nod and pleased smirk due to being understood. “Is it like that if you were to connect with others, or..?”, he asked, a question born of more curiosity, not jealousy. He knew better than to harbor that type of nasty feeling with Fane. Devotion ran deep, as deep as the scar upon his heart’s face as well the scars upon his body. He was just once again fascinated to hear these thoughts and complexities of a being he had only been able to speculate on.

Fane shook his head, laying another kiss against his neck. “No. Most people’s minds don’t bend, their emotions locked up in fear and their minds cordoned off in their own ways. Mages, especially those like you, are easier to link up with, though.”, he murmured against the skin before running the flat of his tongue along his pulse. 

Solas let out a quiet gasp, clawing at a broad shoulder as the wet and warm sensation of Fane’s tongue nearly had him melting. That action always made him react violently, and his dragon knew it, chuckling against the column before continuing. 

“...Your emotions are potent, despite what you want people to believe. They’re attuned to being flexible and it was why during the duel I could begin the link. You were already reaching out, so I...exploited it.”, Fane admitted with a flash of shame in his eyes before sighing. “But, the sensation we’re about to experience is..” He pulled away from his neck slowly to practically gaze at him with a blazing smolder. “...only available when love is at the forefront. Your mind is willing before it even knows. You want me to enter. You want to share in the pain, the sorrow, the madness, and the passion, and I want you to, too. So, you allow me in. It’s an act of trust, and there is no one, other than maybe my sister, who I trust more than I trust you. And hopefully, you feel the same in regards to me.” A bit of uncertainty shuffled into dual colored eyes and a wry smirk, but they both dispersed as Fane shook his head a bit. “So again, no. It’s not the same for anyone else and it never will be.” 

Solas stared at the man before him with slightly wide eyes before a tender smile graced his lips. Leave it to his dragon to word such a serious matter so affectionately, so beautifully. Sometimes, it was hard to see anything but the beautiful creature he had met so long ago when such things were uttered.

It was easy to forget how much suffering and sorrow had laced a mind with crimson poison.

Despite those weighty thoughts, Solas brought his hands up to cup Fane’s face once again, stroking his cheekbones reverently as they gazed into each other. Amber orbs shone slightly from both the slowly descending sun just outside and abilities that were slowly regaining their full power with time, observing him with so much silent love that it made his heart squeeze and a small, warm smile form on his face.  

“Ar lath ma.”, Solas said, smiling more when the words of affection had Fane’s eyes darting away sheepishly, but there was a tiny smile upon his own lips. “And I do trust you as you trust me. Implicitly. Trust is a dangerous gambit, but in this instance, I will roll the dice. For you have already bet enough, my dragon.”, he whispered out tenderly before leaning to seal their lips together again gently, wishing to connect physically as well as mentally and emotionally. 

Yes, a connection. That is what he deeply yearned for. To understand and to be understood. To bond and be bound to in turn. To know every inch of the one who had seen him at his lowest and greatest, who worshiped him as the sky and nothing of the past that had thus far defined him.

A bit lengthy, but that’s what I’m good at! >:D I just like words. Woooords~ :D

Tagging (*sends cookies* :3): @oxygenforthewicked @little-lightning-lavellan @dungeons-and-dragon-age @the-dreadful-canine @varric-tethras-editor @drag-on-age @cartadwarfwithaheartofgold @dreadfutures @whataboutbugs and anyone else that’d like to share their endeavors! :D 

#wip wednesday #oc: fane lavellan #solavellan #solas #dragon age #my writing #fane is a chatty chatty dragon in this short story XD #he's either deathly silent or a mess of profound words #he confuses himself sometimes *pikachu face* #solas enjoys it tho :3 #*is bonked with the bonk stick* #smut will not elude me forever! *shakes fist*

[aripuppyistired]

FFXIV Endwalker Lyrics Breakdown

Hello all! As you might be aware, Yoshi-P recently did an interview where he mentioned that the Endwalker song was meant to represent Hydaelyn and Zodiark as each having their own voice. So, using this information, I wanted to go over each verse to determine what they might mean or refer to!

[Sam Carter vocals] Heart of ember*, out of time Cooling swiftly, bleeding light Smoldering softly, biding time Marching forward, left behind

This is our introduction to the song, and I think it’s interesting that Zodiark is the main ‘speaker’ throughout the song. It should be noted that the “ember” here might also refer to “amber”. In both cases, I believe the first two lines are referring to Hydaelyn, and Zodiark’s view of the situation. We know that Hydaelyn had been significantly weakened after she protected us from the Ultima weapon, and that Zodiark’s seal has been weakening due to the calamities. There have been seven such calamities so far, which is over half of the seals broken.

The next two lyrics refer to Zodiark himself. After his defeat at the hands of Hydaelyn, he’s been biding time until his return: his essence never truly left. Since he was sealed, not truly defeated, I think this and the Ascian’s mentions about ‘re-writing the laws of this star’ might refer to Zodiark and Hydaelyn actually BEING the star and moon now, too, but I’m getting ahead of myself. In any case, Zodiark seems keen on making his debut soon.

Fire as shadows clash Forgotten footfalls engraved in ash Fire will be repaid ‘Fore our echos begin to fade

Fade away

Fade away

This section seems to refer to the End of Days that the Ascians suffered, and notably, begins playing before the narrator describes the End of Days occurring again. As we’ve defeated the last of the unsundered Ascians, I believe this refers to their last attempt to lash out at the world they tried so hard to protect, the world that had forgotten them.

Heart of ember*, out of time Burning brightly, all in white Kindred souls in a […] web Sorrow’s silence breeding there

Here the first two lyrics refer to Zodiark’s view of Hydaelyn again... or possibly you, the Warrior of Light. It’s a tough call. If it’s referring to Hydaelyn, she could be going through one last burst of energy before the final curtain call in their tale. If it’s the Warrior of Light, he could be referring to the idea that we’re out of time to stop his return. If we are out of time though, we’re still very powerful and are a beacon to those around us.

I personally lean a bit more to the WoL interpretation, especially with these last two lyrics. I have had the absolute worst time trying to figure out what the word in between “Kindred souls in a“ and “web”, but I believe the basic gist is being trapped and sad here. I unfortunately can’t figure out much more without that missing word.

[Amanda Archen vocals] Strum a song along the way Tales of loss and fire’s fate

This is the first time we here from Hydaelyn in this track. This part is interesting because it breaks from the sad, minor-key we’ve been in to something somewhat hopeful. I also think it’s important to remember that Hydaelyn was ALSO summoned by Ascians. Because of this, and because of how Hydaelyn tempers people, I think she very much does Not want the Ascians to be a forgotten people. I think maybe part of the reason why she’s had so much trouble with the calamities is that, at her core? She didn’t want to fight the other Ascians. She doesn’t really want to temper people, either. But she still wants the Ascians to be remembered, even if she wants to stop them from their goal of reviving Zodiark.

[chanting Heavensward lyrics]

Ok yea no idea about Heavensward dragon lyrics here other than I think we’re going to get an answer as to where the dragons were running from.

[Sam Carter vocals] Storm of blood, Born from blood, Of our fallen brothers Time stays still, oaths fulfilled, Now we yearn for freedom!

Switching back to Zodiark, we have the beginning of the Stormblood lyrics that takes on a new meaning with what we know about how the Ascians summoned Zodiark and Hydaelyn. It was half of their population sacrificed to stop the End of Days and another half to return life to the planet, and then another half to summon Hydaelyn... So I think that puts us at 87.5% of the Ascian population, gone. And since we know of no other primals using souls as their source instead of Crystals, there’s a non-zero chance that they’re still cognizant in there. Spooky!

(Side note: how messed up would it be if the crystals we mine are either the remnants of wounds from Zodiark/Hyadaelyn’s clash, or the remains of Ascians?)

In any case, it seems like these souls are now tired of this game, and long to be set free. Whether it’s through the dispersal of their soul back into the aetherial sea, or if it’s through the sacrifice of everything on this star to revive them, is anyone’s guess.

Born in blood, (Still we forge ahead) Stained in red, (Until tomorrow) Bound by blood, (Still we forge ahead) Hunger’s fed, (Until tomorrow) Cull these thieves, (Ever forge ahead) Hand-in-hand, (Until tomorrow) Souls aligned, (Ever forge ahead) Forge ahead, (Still we forge ahead) Forward- !

There’s a lot of anger here, and the Ascian’s hands are stained in blood. I vaguely remember something about a blood oath to restore Zodiark, and with the lyric about ‘Cull these thieves’ and ‘Hunger’s fed’... I’m thinking that Zodiark is powerful enough to start breaking his bounds himself, and is ready to set about restoring the star to their ‘rightful’ stewards.

[Amanda Archen vocals] Our song of hope, she dances on the wind Higher, oh higher 'Ere our boughs/foes endure Everything for better/ever, strong Standing tall in the dark do we carry on

Here we have Hydaelyn again, and she’s still hopeful. Knowing now that this represents Hydaelyn, I am leaning closer to the “boughs” interpretation for that third line. Despite how grim things look Hydaelyn seems confident that we can handle it. And that, at the end, we will come out better and stronger for it.

On wings of hope you rise up through the night, Higher, oh higher, Carrying a song, Made of voices in our hearts, That its chorus might ring for all!

This, she’s speaking to you, the Warrior of Light. You are a bastion of hope, made up of the people you’ve met along the way, and you carry their hopes and dreams with you as you press on. You are at the point where your story has inspired people to travel through time and space to save you, because you gave them something to rally around. You gave them hope for a better tomorrow. And it is that same hope that will carry everyone through the fight ahead.

[Background] One brings shadow, one brings light, Two-toned echoes tumbling through time,

Tumbling down, to! the! end!

This section, the speaker is not Zodiark or Hydaelyn, but the narrator. The speaker is referring to the fact that Zodiark and Hydaelyn are echoes of each other, and that perhaps their time is coming to an end. I think at the end of this expansion, we will see both primals return to the aetherial sea.

[Sam Carter vocals] There’s a step we take, Echoes in our wake, Went and [mount] our best, Forge ahead- !

This takes on an interesting meaning if we continue to take this as Zodiark speaking. Each step taken on this path to resurrection has left something behind. Whether that’s entire shards, the other Ascians, or referring to something else is hard to say. But no matter what, Zodiark is going to continue on this path forward.

Should we lose our way, Tire of our disgrace, We won’t be afraid, Forge ahead- !

Now this part is interesting. For a while I was torn between “disgrace” and “dismay” as the last line of the second lyric, but the idea that it’s Zodiark speaking has me leaning firmly to “disgrace”. As evidenced by Emet-Selch’s attempts to help you as much as he can despite his tempering, I do not think any of the Ascians really want to be doing this. They feel lost, disgraced, and are generally unhappy with how things have gone. But they’ve come too far, waited too long, to stop now. They still have their own people to save, after all.

There is not a place, Nor the time to wait, No it’s not too late, Forge ahead- !

Again, referring to the idea that the time to strike is now. It’s not worth waiting to see if this is really the time and place, the iron is hot! They still have a chance, even with the unsundered Ascians gone!

As we ride again, To another end, Where it all begins, Forge ahead- !

And finally, I believe we’ll be seeing the original site of the battle between Hydaelyn and Zodiark. Time has finally come full circle, and it’s time for these two to finish what was started oh so long ago.

---

Other notable things throughout the song are Zodiark’s propensity to speak in plural, I think referring to the fact that he is made up of so many souls. Just, so many. And I think part of Zodiark’s issue, why he was defeated the first time despite Hydaelyn being significantly weaker (Compare his roughly 75% of the population’s souls to Hydaelyn’s 12.5%) is that the souls are discordant with one another. Hydaelyn has never had a problem referring to only herself, and even here uses plurals to refer to both herself and the WoL. And we don’t know how many of that 75% were sacrificed knowing of the plan to sacrifice the new lifeforms to bring them, the Ascians, back. I can’t imagine many of them were happy about that. But, at this point, I think their will might be over-powered now by those that DO wish to complete the plan, or at the very least, that is the portion of Zodiark speaking in this song most strongly.

#FFXIV #ffxiv endwalker #endwalker speculation

[goingsllightlymad]

Lams - ballroom

The carriage lurched along a winding driveway, tilting slightly to one side as turned around a gravel bend. Inside, sitting stiffly behind the opening where the curtains had been drawn back to let the cool spring breeze in, John had turned a sickly shade of yellow-green. Flashes of hot amber light flashed across his freckled face as roaring braziers passed by the carriage. The rising embers danced in his hazel eyes, which were fixed on the pair of small white hands folded in his lap. His own hands, so used to holding a glove or a pretty woman, now strangely awkward and restless when there is no use for them. He would rather have a gun with him. He would rather not be here at all.

Beside him, his father shifted in his seat, grunting, displeased. When was he not displeased, though. Shirt collar sharp and thickly starched, he made a frightening figure, all cold white wig and colder green eyes. People always told them how different they two were: the dark-robed slave trader and his kind-hearted son, but there were days when John looked in the mirror and he could not tell the two apart at all. Those were the days he was most afraid of, when the line was thin enough for him to see all that he could have been, and all that he still feared he would become.

As the coach jolted to a halt, John's hip collided with jutting bones, sharp and intrusive like the stab of some cruel knife. Even the bones beneath that porcelain skin were cold and loveless. It made a lot of sense. The opening to the carriage was thrown open by a freshly powdered manservant and John scrambled to escape the cramped black box. Bursting out into a wide stone path, Jon was dwarfed by the towering expanse of a colossal red-brick manor house, windows like a thousand eyes crying tears of liquid gold into the darkness of the night.

Aware that his father was standing beside him once more, he strode off briskly, up the steps to the tall front doors of the house, from which music and conversation were spilling out on a wave of colourful dresses. Losing himself in the tide of fabric, John's set grimace began at last to soften into a confident smirk. He had long since accepted that his place in society was not beside his father, but it was now becoming increasingly clear that his place was here, where the brightest and the best of New York met to flaunt their extravagance and wealth.

Threading lightly through the mass of people congregated in a tight circle around the dance floor, John found who he was looking for in the corner where the crowd was thickest and loudest. In their clamorous midst, a startled George Washington was trying his hardest to escape from a barrage of questions and tedious anecdotes by women whose wigs sat loosely upon wrinkled pink faces.

"George!"

"Laurens!" Washington called, excusing himself with evident relief and making his way over to Laurens, "It's a good thing you found me - I was quite afraid I'd be there for the rest of the evening. I knew this would happen," he added in a fervent whisper, and Laurens snorted undignifiedly at Washington's politeness and awkwardness around people he did not know.

"You really shouldn't have come, if you knew this was going to happen!"

"No, no, it would have been awful of me not to! After all, someone has too keep them out of trouble," Washington sighed, gesturing to the drinks table, where John could see the top of Lafayette's curly hair bouncing animatedly as he drank and laughed wildly. Beside him, Mulligan was already drunk beyond his wits, shouting over-enthusiastically about the right way to sew pants. 

John grinned affectionately at his best friends, the kindest and possibly most misguided men he had ever met. Swinging his head and suddenly seeing John, Lafayette waved excitedly, grabbing Mulligan's head and pulling it round with a cry of childlike glee. Shaking his head in mock disappointment, Laurens held on to Washington's arm and dragged him over to where the two men were half-standing. 

"Laurens!!" Mulligan yelled, eyes lighting up mischievously. 

"Mulligan! Glad to catch you while you're still conscious," John teased, feeling bad immediately as he watched Mulligan's grin morph into a babyish pout of dejectedness, "And while you're awake you can pour me something and I can join you!" 

"Really, Laurens, you're meant to be the sensible one here," Washington rubbed his forehead wearily. 

"Sorry, sir," Laurens saluted sarcastically, reaching for the filled wineglass which Mulligan was proudly presenting to him. At this point, the man almost had a right to be proud of it, as Laurens had assumed that he was well past being able to pour liquids successfully. Mulligan was always full of surprises, "Eye on one of the ladies, George?"

"John, I'm married,"

"So?" John winked and nudged Washington. 

"So, I really think you should follow my example for a change," 

"For a change? Do I not do everything you do, do everything you ever tell me to?" 

"Quite frankly John," Washington laughed a little and laid his hand lightly on John's shoulder, "No." 

"You've probably got it right, anyway. Aren't any pretty girls here besides. Hell, I'd be better sleeping with the other officers!" 

"Speaking of, the new guy's here tonight; I'm s'posed to be introducing him to all your ladies but frankly I haven't seen him all night," As if to demonstrate, Washington turned to scan the room for his 'new guy'. 

"Probably off in some corner doing your job for you." 

"Nah, chatty guy like him, he couldn't find a girl if he had an inheritance, and I'm glad to say he hasn't got any of that!" 

Even as John laughed at Washington's words, he could hear all at once the grating sound of some loud voice's wild laughter somewhere across the room. 

"Think that's your guy?"

"I really, really, hope not. Which means that yeah, it probably is." Washington sighed deeply and John handed him a glass of wine, which he swallowed quickly before taking his leave to find his disastrous protege. 

"Joooooooooooohn!" 

"Quiet Laf, I want to get a good look at Washington's new favourite. Not that I'm jealous or anything, it's just... something I should probably know..." Laurens craned his neck to see over the crowd, above the tide of ridiculously high wigs and stiff starched collars. He could see his father standing by the door, talking pointedly to some old woman with a face like a china doll left to crack in a hot summer sun. He could see the Schyler sisters at the centre of a thick group of young men and women, smiling politely and looking fantastically beautiful, but didn't they always? After a time, you get used to beauty, and John had long since lost his admiration for their expensive gowns and long hair. At last, John picked out the rapidly shrinking figure of Washington in his rich velvet coat, stumbling awkwardly through the crowd, and in front of him a very aggressive and very short man, with a voice which seemed to make the wineglasses of the people gathered around him tremble fearfully. 

As he watched, Washington briskly removed the man from the crowd of people and proceeded to usher him towards, as Laurens realised with dread, where Laurens was standing. Washington met his gaze with a weak, apologetic smile and exasperated eyes, the man by his side talking incessantly in a high-pitched babble of nonsense. Laurens thought he might be drunk, and thought that that might be a sight he did not want to see. 

"Gentlemen, Alexander Hamilton. Son, these are John Laurens and his... companions," 

"Not'cha son." Hamilton spoke with the petulance of an only child, but when he turned at last away from Washington, the eyes he cast over Laurens were bright and intelligence, as though they had lived a thousand lives and each more interesting than Laurens' pathetic sob-story. 

"Didn't ask for your opinion." Washington patted Hamilton of the back patronisingly and left the two young men alone. 

"So I hear you're quite the speaker, huh?" 

"...yes! Yes, I am! I like to speak!" Hamilton seemed to trip over his words in  away with John had to use all of his strength not to laugh out loud at. Only moments ago this man had been so loud, so certain, his words confident and carefully-chosen, and suddenly he seemed to forget how to speak. 

"Well then, Hamilton, I think you're gonna get along just fine here with us drunkards and idiots. Or maybe I'll just keep you all to myself," Laurens smirked flirtatiously at him, delighting at the mortified blush which was spreading over Hamilton's face from his eyes to the faint black peach-fuzz spread across his upper lip and chin. A rush of guilt flooded Laurens' chest and his smirk lapsed into a kindly smile. 

"John come ooooooooooooooooon, I miss youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu," Mulligan slurred, draping his arms over Laurens' shoulders lovingly. He smelled overpoweringly of alcohol and gunpowder, and John pushed him off laughingly, "who doesn't, baby?"

Hamilton opened his mouth as though to say something, but evidently thought better of it as he closed it again, looking very much confused and more than a little interested. Laurens' smile widened with suspicion, wondering if this ill-dressed, arrogant and overly-opinionated young protege of the greatest general in America could in fact be made even more of a disaster by also being hopelessly gay. To be honest, it was quite refreshing to see Laurens' own story relived in front of him, albeit with less daddy issues and worse clothing choices. 

"Y'know Hamilton, I don't particularly like balls. I mean, the dancing type at least. What say you we get out of here?" 

"O-oh? And do what? I mean, I for one like balls... I mean, the dancing type and... and the, uh," 

Laurens' urge to laugh was overridden only by the startling realisation that Hamilton looked undeniably pretty when he blushed, and that this cute boy knew exactly was Laurens was implying and was in no way turning it down. 

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. C'mon, there's a garden outside. Let's get some fresh air," and without waiting for Hamilton's reply, Laurens slipped quickly through an open door near to the drinks table, slipping a coin and a wink to the slave standing guard. Bewildered, Hamilton hurried after him, stepping out into the cool spring air and down a narrow flight of steps to where the lawn stretched away down the hill where his eye could not follow. 

Standing alone on the wet, moonlit grass, Laurens watched him arrive with a thrill of anticipation. It's not that Hamilton was particularly attractive, or that Laurens was particularly desperate, only that it was hard to come by a sober man who was willing to sleep with you and stay there in the morning. It was hard to come by a pretty man to whom you are more than just a drunken mistake to be hushed up or laughed at when the regiment found out, as they inevitably did. Hamilton had yet to learn that, Laurens could tell, and he almost pitied the pathetic little man. With all his youthful confidence and education, there was still so much he didn't know. 

"Don't enter the army," Laurens murmured as Hamilton came to stand beside him. His eyes had drifted to the swirling blue mist over the hills in the distance, and Hamilton could not help but gaze at his distracted face. It was handsome, in a strange, inexplicable way. Maybe it was the freckles scattered across his face like raindrops on glass, or the way his hair curled softly around his face like the mane of some war-scarred lion. Or the way his eyes seemed to glow in the moonlight, alive with the ghosts of a story Hamilton desperately wanted to hear. 

"It's not that simple. I have to," 

"You never have to, Alexander," Hamilton was surprised by the use of his name, as he had rather thought that Laurens had forgotten it. But suddenly Laurens seemed sober, and lonely in a way that Hamilton had never seen before. He seemed as though he had spent his whole life surrounded by people and yet had never been really there at all. So used to being the protege, the centre of attention for reasons good or bad, Hamilton knew he could never understand this. "They make you sign up, they tell you what to believe, they tell you what you can and can't do, but in the end it's always up to you. The army's not the right place for you, Hamilton, because it wasn't the right place for me either.

"You know, when I joined I thought there'd be pretty women and parties every night, and you'd never be alone again, but now... sure there's alcohol, and there's harlots whenever you're passing the whorehouse, but it's never quite the same. Women, there never as good as you think they'll be; I just stick to men. And above it all there's the loneliness. The army, it's never as good as you think it'll be. And who's to say we'll even win this? I used to be so sure we would, but after a while you get to wondering and really, what's the point of fighting after all? There'll be more wars, there always will, and sometimes I have no idea what it is we're even fighting for." 

Laurens' voice trailed off, merging almost with the mist he never looked away from, and though Hamilton tried to form a reply to this mournful speech, no words came. 

"Washington told me you're high ranking," 

"Did he now?" 

"You're brave," 

"I'm stupid. No one's ever truly brave in war. They do what they have to do, or else they'll die. I'm no different, no one ever is," Laurens turned to look down at Hamilton's thoughtful expression, adjusting his stance so that the two men stood facing each other under the pale moonlight. 

"Why are you telling me this?" 

"I don't entirely know. I think maybe I care about you too much to let you throw away your shot like I did." 

"You care about me too much?" Hamilton raised an eyebrow, "Why John, we've only just met!" 

"Strange, isn't it," a smile tugged at the corners of Laurens' lips, as his eyes locked onto Hamilton's lips. 

"Not really," 

Standing on his tiptoes, Hamilton closed the space between their lips. Taken aback a little and smiling broadly into the kiss, Laurens snaked an arm around Hamilton's waist to hold him upright, fingers playing with the lining of Hamilton's green velvet coat. The kiss was slow and gentle, and after a moment they broke apart for breath, then resumed with all the passion and urgency of starving men upon finding  a banquet before them. 

Hands roaming over thick fabric, they backed up against the trunk of a tree in the thick grove behind the house. Here the night was alive with the evening songs of birds and the scurrying of creatures through the light undergrowth, and in the gaps between the leaves the lights from the house shone like stars. Kissing down his jaw and neck, Hamilton deftly pulled off Laurens' coat, shrugging his own off into a heap of mingling coloured fabrics. Where the shafts of strengthening moonlight pierced through the trees and fell onto him, Hamilton seemed to glow with an ethereal beauty which captivated Laurens for all of the two seconds his mind could pay attention for before flooding with delight as Hamilton left marks on the base of his neck. 

"Spot's taken, let's goooooooooooooo," a familiar voice slurred loudly from a little way away. 

Reaching for Hamilton's shirt buttons, Laurens was startled by the sight of two shadowy figures standing by the trees a little way from them, clearly drunk and draped over each other's shoulders in a way that was probably not entirely because of their inability to stand upright. 

"Waaaaaiiiiiiit, waitwaitwaitwait! It's Laurens!" With an overexaggerated gesture which sent his hold upper body lurching forward, the taller figure pointed at the two blushing men who were still frozen in place against the tree. Straining against the semi-darkness, Laurens could pick out the piercing eyes and long nose of Laf and, beside him, the squat figure of Mulligan. He wasn't going to ask why the two were here, because he thought he might already know and he feared that upon being asked, one of the two might tell him more than he ever wanted to know. Besides, he was still pinned against a tree, thankfully almost-fully-dressed, and with both arms wrapped around Hamilton. With his back to the two intruders, Hamilton was staring into the tree trunk with a horrified expression, making no attempt to move away, for which Laurens was strangely grateful. 

"Guys! Kinda busy here!" Laurens' voice came out higher and sharper than he'd expected, and he could have sworn he felt Hamilton laugh against his chest. The two very confused men babbled affirmatively and made their way clumsily out of the grove, while Laurens tried his best to ignore the fact that they were definitely kissing as they did so. 

"We should, uh," Laurens murmured shakily, "We should head back inside before they can go round telling everyone what they saw," 

"Yeah, yeah probably," 

Hamilton detached himself from Laurens' arms and picked up the coats from the damp grass by their feet. Pulling his own on and handing the other to Laurens, he cleared his throat, the sound echoing through the sudden silence of the grove. 

"You don't regret this, do you? I mean, I wouldn't care, I just" 

"You know I don't," Laurens smiled secretly, certain that Hamilton could see it, "in fact, I wouldn't mind meeting again. You know, to finish what we started."

And with that he started back to the house, leaving a very bemused Hamilton to hurry after him.

#lams #hamilton #alexander hamilton #john laurens #george washington #marquis de lafayette #hercules mulligan #fan fiction

[marzipan-moon]

A Human Heart

Fandom: Kingdom Hearts 3 Characters: Xemnas, Xigbar, Axel Summary: "Memories. A heart’s full of them. Squeeze it just right, and it all comes flooding back at once." // An exploration of Xemnas from Xigbar’s perspective, a discussion on matters of the heart. AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18192860

The strength of the human heart is vast. That’s what Xemnas had said, in a speech not so long ago. Most often, his speeches were more like inconsequential rambles. Old wives tails lost in spindlewheels, churned up memories and mix and match thoughts that never quite made a lick of sense. And man, was he appealing to the wrong crowd. Who even listened to that mighty king way up high on his throne, anymore?

Luxord, maybe. Sometimes he’d wonder to himself if they spoke the same alien language. A babble beyond his comprehension, the dialect you gain when your life gets shaped by those faraway concepts like ‘destiny’ and ‘fate’.

Ha. Yeah… Maybe so.

But something about what Xemnas had said in that speech… something about it was just real. Something raw, for once. Unfiltered. Because not only was that strength supposed to be vast, but he wished to ‘never again’ allow it to have ‘power over’ them.   Now, wasn’t that just something. “What do you think he meant, Axel?” He mused aloud, breaking his own chain of thoughts. His voice echoed through those dreary corridors, wrapping round the match-stick man with his shock of hair, those shifty snake mint eyes darting to meet his own.

“… Thought you’d be the one to ask. Don’t you write all his speeches?”  

“As if. The man gets a lot of time to think up this stuff in-between moon-talk,” Xigbar said, lazily steeping towards Axel. “But I’d say that was a pretty good one, this time around. Must have been feeling inspired.” For a manipulative assassin, Axel’s eyes betrayed him easy. The kid’s emotions were just so obvious. Everything about him screamed ‘please don’t talk to me’, stiff shoulders and those cold glances betraying his suspicions. “Hey, relax! It’s alright, I’m not trying to quiz you or anything. Scar’s in the wrong place for that,” he lifted a hand, hastily drawing an x over his forehead.

That seemed to do the trick, prompted a laugh at any rate. A chuckle. Maybe more of a ‘huh’, a sigh.

“C’mon. You’re fishing for something - what is you want me to say?” Axel folded his arms, tilting his head. “The usual party line? It’ll be cool when we’re all on the other side, ruling our own little world with our own little hearts. Thanks boss-man, you really came through for us.” “Ha,” Xigbar half-laughed, half-smirked. “You’re really giving me a grilling all because of a simple question. Why? Did I twist your buttons?” He leaned forwards, letting Axel get a good look as he raised his eyebrows. “Well let me just pop another one right off for you. What’s the human heart mean to you?” His eye narrowed, the gold dulling. Axel’s face didn’t betray too much this time around - maybe just a bit of irritation. But, hey. Beats doing missions, right? He slowed on down to a stop, accepting he was going to be here a while and leaned against the wall. “The human heart, right?” He leaned his head up against the wall, that smoulder of red framing his face like a lion’s mane.

“Don’t think there’s any other kind worth talking about.” Xigbar said, leaning on air - his own makeshift wall pushing against his back.

“Hmm… I don’t remember what it’s like, not really. All I’ve got’s memories - same as you. Can’t say I recall being stronger with it, though. Might say I was quite the opposite.” Memories. A heart’s full of them. Squeeze it just right, and it all comes flooding back at once. “Yeah? I guess that’s right. You were just a kid, back then. Fresh as a daisy. Then you went ahead and grew up all withered, like a dandelion. Must be weird. Growing up hollow.”

“… Sheesh,” Axel started tapping his feet, glancing to the side. “Way to make it personal.”

“Everything about what we’re doing is personal,” he cut back, grin slipping from his face. “Just like to go about it in an impersonal way. We all have reasons why we want our heart’s back. And I think I understand them all - nearly, that is. Just you I’ve got as a big fat blank. You and your blue-haired pal.” “Well. Maybe,” he said, pushing himself up from the wall. “I just wanna get some peace and quiet. Time away from all this introspection. Yeah. That’s it. When I get a heart - I’m going to do all kinds of things… like not giving a damn about why anything.” “And…” He turned his back on Xigbar, glancing briefly over his shoulder as he waved a dark portal into existence. “He’s not my pal. He’s my boss, right? Yours too. Kinda. Never have worked out what that deal is about.” The tips of Xigbar’s lips started to curl. Yeah. That bitterness betrays something else, buddy. Waving a pointed finger, Axel whistled, “Righty, I’m out. See you later, old man.” “Go ahead. Be good. Keep that kid working hard.” Batting his hand back at him, the man disappeared through the corridor, taking his distinct scent with him. Bye bye.

You know. There wasn’t all that much to do in looming, empty corridor, so Xigbar went ahead to take this opportunity to go visit someone else. A very important someone else, as it turned out. The very same they’d been talking about. Speak of the devil and…? Oh wait, that’s right. He’s not running anywhere.

Ha ha.

“Xemnas, we got a problem.” Kingdom Hearts burned a vibrant hole in the sky, her empty chest all hollowed out. Such a poetic lie. The room seemed to pulse with its false energy, a throbbing that was all at once euphoric and unbearable. How Xemnas could stand bathing in this atmosphere was beyond him. “We planted seeds, and looks like a couple of them have gone rotten. Might turn the whole field fallow.”   The atmosphere tightened, Kingdom Heart’s gravity giving him a whole load of issues trying to pinpoint anything at all. But he sure felt that. That shift. Like a groan in his stomach, twisting up all his organs.

“A fallow field may be exactly what we must reap.” Oh.

Xemnas’s head lolled, his arms falling by his sides. Turning to face him, Xigbar saw the pain that worried his expression. For a guy who talked a whole lot about feeling nothing, that face moved in every shade of emotive. “Come here. Let me see the bounties of my harvest.” There wasn’t much choice in this. Never was.

Nodding, Xigbar stepped cautiously towards the man, those amber eyes never quite focussing on him.   “Yes… The seeds in your heart appear to have taken deep root. Soon, there may nothing left of the soil.” Xemnas stared right at him and right through him all at once, his expression still oddly pained. “Don’t have a heart, remember…?” He said, weakly. They both knew this lie. Would laugh about it, sometimes, lit by the glow of that plastic moon. Xemnas wasn’t laughing today. He just looked… sad. About to try and steer the conversation on back to the potential traitors to their little game, Xemnas moved and it was like his mouth was sewn shut. A warm hand was suddenly on his shoulder, those eyes brighter than the pale glow of Kingdom Hearts. He knew what this meant.It was not long until those firm fingers departed from his shoulder, winding instead to the nape of his neck, gripping the curve of his hair-tie. He opened his mouth, “Xe-“ “Silence.” Fine. He bowed his head, letting Xemnas slip the bauble from his hair. The room seemed different, then. The glow growing more cold.  Not like they hadn’t danced this dance before. Whole lifetimes of this, different vessels, same story. Not like it couldn’t be enjoyable, even if both of them knew that wasn’t at all the main purpose, not at all. So why was Xigbar feeling so fucking tense? Xemnas seemed to tower over him, the tips of his hair the only parts of him that seemed to catch the light of that moon. Even those ember eyes seemed burnt out. Come on. Just do it. What are you waiting for? This lifetime doesn’t seem to be the kind that particularly likes when I take the lead, so can you just hurry this little show along? Xeha- Those fingers returned to his hair, brushing along his scalp in a way that shot tingling stars right down his spine. What -? Xemnas was… Tying up his hair? A high pony this time, with one long strand pulled forwards into makeshift bangs. Must have looked a mess, without a brush - but Xemnas approached it with such focus, such tenderness… Xigbar’s insides squirmed, embarrassment slapping his cheeks. “This is new, but… whatever suits you.” He ignored him. Didn’t even tell him to shut up. Punish him for his cheek, just like the old coot would have done. No. Xemnas was a whole different being entirely, transported to a totally different plane.   “You like what you see?” He asked, coyness somehow feeling totally out of place. Damn it, with Demyx or Luxord this kind of confidence would come easy - but with the way those words just pitter-pattered off Xemnas’s chest without giving an inch… It made the blush on his face worsen, his eye tilting downwards. Xemnas suddenly lost it. The soft hands on his face gripped down, Xigbar’s eye flaring open and staring up accusingly. No. No, no no no - we’ve done this before, this tango where you steal my heart. You don’t need to do that again, we don’t - The fingers softened again, but the tension remained shot through his shoulders. The touch was different this time, more possessive. Crueller, perhaps. More familiar. “Enough of this insolence.” He could deal with this. Yeah, he could deal with this. “Do not forget that I was the one who did this to your face.” Which side was he talking about? Just who exactly was he talking as? Yellow eye narrowed, the socket vaguely stung. “Okay, okay. I’ve got the message. It’s… It’s alright.” Avoiding names just in case we got another ‘It’s Ansem’ situation, he focussed on trying to diffuse all this. “I’ll keep it zipped. I promise.” Now, where they going to move onto the action or wha- Xemnas remained silent, but his hands were now touching his face. Erratically, as though in utter disbelief. His expressions shifted between the usual long-suffering wide-eyed gaze and something closer to ecstatic joy. A sense of absolution. Of something white hot and intense that Xigbar could not even begin to understand until - Until those fingers ran gently across his scars.Something tender, so tender, the kind of touch you reserve for a sick kitten. A mix of pity and reverence. A touch for a ghost.

It’s not Xemnas that’s staring down at him.

And it’s not Xigbar that he’s seeing. He closed his eye. He didn’t want to see it, not anymore - that haunted expression. That man who was touching a ghost. Terra. You’re still in there, aren’t you? Burrowed your way in, nice and deep. Go on. Why don’t you say that name. That name you so desperately want to call me. Think I can squeeze in one more nickname, how about that - just for you?

Eraqus had these scars too, didn’t he. Same cause, too.   This feeling… these weird, displaced, fragile feeling - he wish he’d just fucked him. He wish he’d just held his head down and went for it, it would be so much easier to bear than this. Hurts, doesn’t it? Well. Good thing the strength of a human heart is vast. Right, Xemnas? Lifting his hands, Xigbar - oh so carefully, far too cautiously - wrapped his arms around him. An embrace. For old times sake. Fingers that pressed hard against the man’s back, hoping to suppress the shaking.   Terra - Xehanort, whoever it was, they didn’t respond. But it was okay. Something about the stillness was all that they needed. A moment of silence later, and the man released him. Turned, then, to Kingdom Hearts. Hands stretching back up towards the moon. Reaching for some distant memory, echoing from some shattered chasm. “Almighty Kingdom Hearts, we shall soon be one. A higher existence awaits us both.” Will you feel whole again, then? Is that what you hope for? Xigbar touched his face, undid that messy ponytail. That’s enough pretend, for now. We’ll talk about Axel some other day, he guessed. With a wave, he vanished into the darkness - leaving this room to its pining.

#Xigbar #Xemnas #Axel #Kingdom Hearts #kingdom hearts fanfiction #ty so much for reading <3 #writing

[unholyhelbiglinked]

For Better Or Worse | 001

CHECK OUT THE FULL STORY HERE

THE THICK boroughs of black smoke clung to the ceiling, it’s white color overwhelmed with the darkness that soon engulfed most of the room. The paneling that was so expertly handcrafted and forged was now charred with orange flames, the heat licking at the edge of every aspect this place had to offer.

The coughing seemed almost instant, rough and warm against the back of my throat as sweat began to bead against my skin. It soaked through the shirt I was wearing, wicking into the fabric and staining it like the soot that was already so strong. It was biting, it was incessant.

“Addy!” I tried to manage, taking in a gulp of smoke in the process, water pressing into my eyes as I blinked as much as I could. I had read about this, seen the instructional videos. You were supposed to stay low to the ground- keeping your elbow over your mouth to filter out some of the toxic air. The same was to be said about sneezing during flu season. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

Speaking didn’t really help in my case, my knees sore as I hit the carpeted ground. The very living room that was covered in children’s toys from the latest Pixar film now smelled of burnt plastic and a campfire gone wrong. Everything used to be so pristine, so clean and sorted. Now it all crumpled under the mercy of flames.

The sweeping edge of a fluorescent light cutting across embers caught my attention. It highlighted the smoke, making it look less menacing and more like a high school girl lighting up below a cracked window. It was sinister though. Painful.

“Fire Department, call out!” A husky voice pressed against my ears. “Call Out!”

“Help,” I spoke quietly at first, the pain ripping through my throat, a wolf had its saliva coated jowls at my jugular. “Help! Over here!”

The air pooled in my lungs, it’s cooling effect clawing at my throat as the sweat that had soaked so easily through my clothes caught the downside of the breeze. It seemed to dry almost instantly, making me feel stiff. Making the deep fog that coated the high seas look thin and withered.

“Bec’s you okay?” The boy to my right spoke. I hadn’t noticed the hand that was resting lazily on my jacketed shoulder. He had his back pressed against the warning bar, his free hand strung over a bent knee. He wasn’t dressed for the weather, a tight black t-shirt hugging his frame. “You were talking in your sleep.”

“Was I?” I knew the answer already. The nightmares had a cruel effect. It was like my brain couldn’t quite forget the worst moment of my life. I usually didn’t make it to the rescue before the flames ate away at the structure of the house. The family house that I spent the first 18 years of my life in.

A brown paper bag rested between the two of us, my back close to the deck of the Poseidon. It was such a brave and daring name for something that was fished out of the bottom of the ocean. The gaping hole in the side had been patched up, but the same wasn’t to be said for the top tier of the little fishing boat. The mayor had given us an ulterior motive. We could keep running our little towing company out of the abandoned shelling factory on the water in exchange for restoring a national treasure that would put us on the map.  

There was a thick haze that shrouded the bulk of the boat. It’s rough cover breaking away enough for me to see in front of my face- but that was about it. I would usually expect a lot of calls cutting through the air. Jesse clenched his jaw and startled to unwrap the bag. It would loud compared to the silence of the sea, though Jesse didn’t seem to care. He had a goofy stare on his face, knowing enough not to question me after I woke up with such a start.  

“So did you guys get a chance to bond last night?” Jesse said plainly, trying to change the subject. It moved my heart into my throat as I lifted my head quickly, afraid to break my neck. The obvious shift in conversation enough to help me forget the memories that plagued my every waking moment.

“Game night?” I asked, knitting my eyebrows together. “It was fine. Aubrey went beast mode and destroyed the monopoly board?”

“You provoked her, I’m sure.”

“She looked like the hulk.” I adjusted my position on the deck, folding my legs underneath me. “I swallowed that little metal top hat.”

Jesse laughed loudly, it was a hearty one that echoed. I could recognize it from across the room. The two of us splitting sandwiches since kindergarten. We had always gotten each other, no problem too big for us to handle together. Aubrey had entered Jesse’s life almost a year ago. The two of us having a strained, but strong relationship. Jesse was convinced that we needed to work past non-existent tension.

“I just want you two to get along before the wedding.” He admitted, peeling plastic wrap away from the peanut butter and jelly he had half-heartedly made this morning. He tore through the wonder bread, it’s white exterior cracking under his touch as he passed off half to me.

“We do get along,” I stated, sinking my teeth into the sandwich “I promise you, there is nothing to worry about. The two of us are fine. Great actually.”

From the beginning, I had a feeling that Aubrey wasn’t too fond of me, but it had never really taken a backseat until Jesse got down on one knee and produced a ring that was twice as much as our current salary. From then on, Aubrey didn’t really have a feeling that Jesse and I had some behind the scenes relationship going on. He was 100% committed to his girl- and for the longest time, I was committed to my family.

Now I was committed to the sea- as terrible as it sounds. It was the furthest away from any type of flames that I could get. The island, it didn’t’ have much of a beach, nothing but a few jaded rocks and a sweeping lighthouse- but it was home for me now. I often fell asleep at the offices, taking little solace in getting any rest when I was buried deep in the wood structure we called home now.

My father had left this business behind, Jesse’s own family more than reluctant to sign the contracts and move to some vacation spot with more sun and less unpredictable lightning storms. I found comfort in those too- the rain a form of water dulling one of electricity.

“I just don’t want any trouble.” He sounded out carefully, mouth full of bread. He was trying to make it sound as little as possible. “I know how you get.”

“Oh yeah?” I lifted an eyebrow dutifully “And how is that Mr. Swanson? Defensive?”

“Along those lines, yes,” He threw his arms up in exasperation. “Remember our high school graduation? You thought Mr. Weil was discriminating against your size and you kicked him in the kneecap.”

A certain heat rose to my cheeks. There was more to the story than that, he was constantly condescending, making awful comments about the girls in our class. No one would do anything because it never escalated, and the school district was small enough to have only one History teacher. They couldn’t afford to lose the old geezer. “I had nothing to lose.”

“Yeah, well I do,” Jesse chuckled, shaking his head. “I want both of my favorite girls to be okay with each other, okay? No thrown cake or bashed in body parts.”

“You have my word,” I reiterated, wiping my palm on the grease-stained jeans that I had been wearing out for the past couple of months. I tried washing them- but they would get dirtied again the next day at work. By the time the sun set, they were tattered just like my sense of accomplishment and nerves.

I held my hand out to him, the boy eyeing it like I had thrown a kitten off the starboard. “What, do you want me to spit in it, or something?”

“No, God no” He laughed loudly, placing his palm on mine as she squeezed my hand. It was a warm and kind embrace. I didn’t need this reassurance, I already knew I wouldn’t mess this up. Not for him. The only person who had ever stuck with me through it all. He loved Aubrey, and in time, I would grow to find a way to.  

The deep golden light slowly flickered off with a distant buzzing, keys heavy handed in my grasp as I finally got a chance to shut the large metal door to the shop. It creaked and groaned, just like it did every night. I tried my hardest to keep it quiet- knowing that those daring enough to live in the bottom of their boats wouldn’t take too kindly to the noise.

The spaced out overhead lights were enough to illuminate the finally fogless night- a cool breeze from the crashing waves burning my throat as I threw my bag over my shoulder. The paperwork weighted it down, but it was someone more calming than staying here in an empty warehouse resting on the water.

Part of me craved a good bottle of ale, the other knowing that I had to get across town in the next fifteen minutes to pick Addison up from her sitter. Stacie was calm headed and often would bend the rules of her at home daycare just to work with me. I owed her a lot more than I could afford to give her.

My footfalls echoed against the uneven deck, splintered wood reminding me of how clean it used to be when I was younger. The storms had weathered it down, damaging the structure but not the point where the many fishermen and vendors didn’t use it religiously.

There were a few restaurants, ones that got more local traffic than anything. The inhabitants were a mix of jet-ski rentals and old fishermen who would lounge in front of their vessels. No matter how much that was out at sea, they still missed it- craved it to the point of enjoying a few beers just camped out under the twinkle lights they had strung.

“Heading out for the night, Beca?” The gruff voice of John filled my ears. Up until a few years ago, he was a prominent man- owning more land for his own good. He was never knocked down from his pedestal, instead, he traded it all into retirement with a white and blue cooler and lawn chairs. He was always out here, admiring the stars when the night sky allowed it.  

“Yes sir,” I responded with a smile, holding up my hand in refusal when he lifted an amber colored bottle to me. On any given day I would say yes, but I didn’t have much of it in me tonight. I had pushed my time in the shop. “No thanks, I still have to pick Addy up-“

I was cut off by an ungodly scraping sound, one that was unnatural as it cut through the night air. I squinted, turning slightly towards the end of the dock. There was an inky figure slowly pulling a bag behind her. Her frame was tall, lanky at most. I couldn’t see much- the ferry that brought her in still shining its bright lights. I had never known for the ship to drop off people this late- but no one was ever intentionally trying to make it to Haven.

“Hmm,” I mumbled absently, curious as I tilted my head to try and get a better look.

The mysterious stranger suddenly lost her balance, her noisy heels getting caught in a groove of wood. A long crack made its way through the air as those very shoes snapped under the weight. I drew in a sharp breath, raising my fingers to my lips as I stifled a sound.  

“Good Lord,” John spoke softly “That girl just ate shit.”

I gave him an odd and jarring look before gathering my nerves and trotting the good distance between me and the woman. She was leaning back on her bare feet, staring down at the broken shoes as a deep crimson moved past her lacerated palms. She was wearing a tight-fitting skirt, a similar navy blazer over a half-untucked white shirt. The girl’s hair was in a messy bun- deep red locks falling into hard cobalt eyes. They reminded me of the ocean. They were angry though, like the clouds that formed right above it.  

“Are you alright?” I asked, trying to stifle a chuckle as I outstretched my hand.

“Do I look like I’m alright?” She snapped, blowing the air out of her gaze. She sniffed, trying to shake the stinging from her hands. Her voice was silky and damaged at the same time. It was alluring, in a way. She looked way too professional- even in her tattered state.

“Well no, Ma’am.” I sounded out easily “That’s why I’m offering to help you up if you’d let me.”

She let out a groan and swatted my hand away, using her suitcase to help her up instead. She let out a small huff as she attempted to straighten out her clothes. She turned a blind eye and started walking towards the end of the dock. I scratched the back of my neck apprehensively, shrugging my shoulders as I started to walk after her.

We walked in silence for a few seconds before she let out another huff that pushed through the cold air. She stopped quickly, her shoulder finding a way to my chest as I inhaled quickly, bouncing back. “Are you following me?” She griped as she whipped around.

I took a step back, holding my hands up in defense. “Uh, no. The dock only goes one way and I don’t plan on taking a long walk off a short pier.”

She lowered her shoulders a bit, not as defensive. In a way, she was scrutinizing me, trying to find something out that I’m sure I couldn’t place my finger on. I looked like a mess- my white t-shirt coated in dirt and oil. A dark red flannel was hanging lazily from my sides. One sleeve was falling down as I pushed it up towards my elbow slightly.

“Oh,” She spoke a bit softly, letting out a shaky breath before walking back towards the entrance. A large iron sign that read Willow Point its letters having been crafted from the very boat that Jesse and I were fixing up. “Do you know Aubrey Posen?”

The question took me off guard. I wasn’t even sure if this girl would allow me to follow her around like a lost puppy- even though I knew exactly where I was going. She was intimidating, enough to make goosebumps raise on my skin as I scratched lightly at my collar.

“I do, actually.” I sounded out. “She runs something borrowed right in the center of town.”

The girl let out a light grumble as the two of us walked onto the gravel, she had her broken shoes in her hands, grimacing as the pebbles dug into her feet. I didn’t say anything though, not about that. “You’re not going to take a cab, are you?”

“I was planning on it.” She turned to face me again, the color of the moon shading her face in an almost angelic way. “Why?”

“Well, the girl who runs the only cab in town is hammered at this point in the night, so… if you would let me, I can drive you.”

“You’re a stranger.”

“You’re not walking.” I stood my ground. “It’s about five miles to get back into town, and it’s about to start raining… again.”

She glanced towards the only truck in the parking lot. It was mine- the paint a rusty red- but it had a working engine and an air conditioner. The thought of riding around town during the summer with leather seats adhered to my back made me cringe.

“What kind of a town is this?” She sighed, pressing her fingers to her hairline.

“It’s Haven,” I laughed slightly “Entirely shitty, but the people aren’t so bad.”  

#Beca Mitchell #Chloe Beale #Bechloe #aubrey posen #jesse swanson #pitch perfect #bechloe fic rec

[patricksilvrrozartistry]

Current Music Obsessions: January 16 - 31, 2018

It's time for the last CMO for January, AND I'M ACTUALLY EARLY! I have A LOT to get through in this one because I'm doing an intense purge of my watch later playlist. So let's see those honorable mentions.

Awaken Solace - Moon Over the Mountain Annatar - Reflection Eve's Fall - Enough Edenbridge - A Turnaround in Art Sozos Michael - Life Finds a Way (Helion Prime cover) Aastraal - Majesty of the Nightfall Dragonfly - Silent Scream Nyx Aether - Odyssey of the Forlorn Acid Deathtrip - The Aftermath A Dream of Poe - Lady of Shalott Silent Descent - Voices Origins - The Power Inside Septicflesh - Martyr Kyle Morrison - Mammoth feat. Sean Zatorsky (Sinsaenum), Adrienne Cowan (Light & Shade) Fourth Circle - Iron Drops Dawn of Morgana - Embers Fade Nightmarer - Skinner Eric Hazebroek & Gogo Melone - Winter is Coming Crimfall - Mother of Unbelivers The End Party - Debutante Gary Numan - Ghost Nation Tristania - Pale Enchantress Vanguard - Hyper1one The Sins of Thy Beloved - My Love Shade Empire - Map of Scars The Dark Element - Only One Who Knows Me Meden Agan - The Purge Starset - Frequency Dust in Mind - Anesthesia Dust in Mind - Coward Heilung - Othan (live) The Murder of My Sweet - Echoes of the Aftermath Camila Cabello - Crying in the Club Skies Collide - This Divide

Now for the excessive amount of real obsessions.

1) Edenbridge - The Die is Not Cast

The Great Momentum turned out so much better than I thought it would be. Such a powerful symphonic power metal album with such a strong symphonic element. It's also a lot more aggressive (riff wise) than I was expecting it to be. The chorus is so dramatic and I love it so much. Just an amazing song all the way through.

2) Alwaid - Amphisbaena

This is their latest single off their new album and it's pretty good. It takes a dramatic turn near the end of the song which I really enjoy. It starts out strong and continues to bring throughout the track. I'm definitely am gonna have to give the new album a listen.

3) The Classic Crime - Driftwood

This is a gorgeous atmospheric rock track. If you need something beautiful to chill to, this is it. The singer's voice is so lovely and pleasant and really suits the instrumentals. A very pleasant song.

4) Crystal Gates - Dreamers (Revisited)

This is the second song I've heard from them and holy tits is it amazing. It starts out seeming like it's going to be a pretty ballad track, then it escalates into the chorus and turns into the gorgeous symphonic metal track. And the vocal lines after the first chorus. Gurl. Yes. So good.

5) Adeia - Architect

Found these guys while browsing the metal archives in the Netherlands section. The Dutch prog scene has always been amazing to me, but this band is so different from the ones I've heard in the past. This song is really great and has such a cool vibe to it. I love the subtle symphonic touches to it in the instrumentals.

6) After Forever - My Choice

How am I so late on finding this music video??? I found it out of nowhere one day and got hooked. I've always been a huge fan of After Forever and this is a traditional song of theirs. Very strong vocals as always, but I mean it's Floor Jansen, of course they're gonna be strong. Also I LOVE the bodysuit that Floor wears in this video. It's so cool and funky.

7) Zoe Nash - Rather Die

I have no clue how I found this song, but I absolutely love it. It's so catchy a fun, but with such a dark-ish twist. The way that the background singers sing "I'd rather die" is just a bit to happy sounding. This girl has such a different voice. It's kinda raspy and strange, but so pretty at the same time, which is what has me hooked.

8) Blessed with Rage - Nightfall

This is one of those songs that catch you off guard as to how good it is. I've always have loved bands with a great electronic element to them. I LOVE the edm bit in the bridge. Such a fun touch. It reminds me a bit of We Butter the Bread with Butter, just not as intense and in your face.

9) Lovelorn Dolls - Dead Sea

This song is so great. I'm not too familiar with them, but everything I've heard has been wonderful. The chorus is so simple, but it's so powerful at the same time. It's so weird how that works out. Definitely give this song if you're into gothic metal. Definitely a great jam.

10) Swallow the Sun - Weight of the Dead

I heard this song on Pandora one day a few months ago and finally got around to listening to it on my own time. What a great gothic doom metal track. It really takes off around the last 3 minutes and just evolves into this gorgeous and haunting doom track. It's so powerful. I really need to check out more from them.

11) Banks - Goddess

I haven't heard a bad song from her yet and I'm kinda scared for the day I find something that I don't like. This song is absolutely gorgeous and so fucking pretty. I still don't really know how to label her music. Modern pop? Trip-hop? Experimental? I don't know, but who cares, it's fucking beautiful.

12) Dream Ocean - Forever feat. Jake E. (ex-Amaranthe)

Found this song through a friend on Facebook and it's so pretty. I'm definitely gonna check out more from them, because their singer has such a pretty voice and she herself is really pretty. I mean look at her hair! Anyways, definitely digging this.

13) Unleash the Archers - Ten Thousand Against One

Apex is how their last album should've sounded. I know I keep saying that, but this album is MILES better than the last one. This and Cleanse the Bloodlines have to be my favorites. It's powerful, dramatic and heavy. What more could you ask from an aggressive power metal band?

14) Jucifer - The Mountain

Found these guys when digging through the metal archives to see what the metal scene is like here in Atlanta. Turns out it's not active, just as I expected. But I did find this sludge band here. This song is pure sludge/stoner metal and I love it. I wonder if they'll release any new material any time soon.

15) Dawn of Morgana - Revelations

I found these guys while searching for symphonic metal bands based here in the States that are listed on the metal archives and gurl are they good. It's so hard for me to actually like symphonic metal bands from the States since so many aren't good, but these guys are dramatic and powerful as all get out. Don't sleep on these guys.

16) Tigersclaw - Princess of the Dark

Randomly found this song one day on the recommended videos on YT. It's a pretty good symphonic power metal track. Their singer has a really pretty and high pitched voice and girl can hit a note. It is a bit cheesy, especially since the chorus is repetitive, but it's a great song nonetheless.

17) Amber Asylum - Cardinal Sin (Dead Can Dance cover)

This is the second song I've heard from them and it's absolutely gorgeous. They did a really great job with this cover and making it their own. My question is though is do these guys have any "metal" songs? I found out about these guys while trying to find some prog bands from the States, but this and the other song I've found aren't even metal songs. But besides that, really beautiful and haunting stuff.

18) DRMCTHR - Get Lost

Found this through Spaceuntravel and really dig it. It's almost as if alternative rock and shoegaze had a baby and this song was made. I'm really interested in possibly checking out more from these guys, because this song is really lovely and great to chill to.

19) Crimfall - Wayward Verities

I decided to listen to Amain after hearing a few great songs off it (and also because the cover art features a "naked" dude on it) and this is one of my favorites off it. The bridge is on some other level because it completely shifts tone. It just turns into this epic track in that moment with the choir bits. I also LOVE the yodeling in the intro. Such a great touch.

20) Trail of Tears - Empty Room

Decided to try to find a song off this album after reading an interview Ailyn (ex-Sirenia) did in which she talked about how Emma worked with Trail of Tears before, so I had to find out what exactly she did. That's how I came across this gorgeous and powerful gothic metal track. I honestly prefer Emma here over Sirenia. It just seems as if her voice is more well suited for this kind of music. Definitely check this song out.

21) Gali - Dancing to Another Love Song

Discovered this song through Hellvetika's IG story one day when she posted about having to listen to this song at the gym. I can't remember if she liked it or not, but I decided to give it a go and needless to say I fucking love it. VERY reminiscent of mid 2000's electronica, which was my shit as a tween. I still love it to this day. Such a fun song and girl has some pipes.

22) MILCK - This is Not the End

I discovered her through her song Quiet, so when I saw she dropped a new track, I decided to give it a listen. This song is also a really empowering track and is so lovely. The chorus is rather catchy, but that's necessary when creating a song that's going to be treated as an anthem. The burst of emotion right as the final chorus starts is so wonderful.

23) Sanguine Glacialis - Monsters

Discovered them through their record label and I am so hyped for their upcoming album after hearing this. This song is such a ballbuster. It's been so long since I've found a promising female fronted death metal band. This a bit of an avant-garde metal flare to them that I'm really digging. Oh, and she sounds fucking insane and ferocious.

24) Shade Empire - Lecter (Welcome)

This song is so amazing and is a wonderful start to an amazing album. If you enjoy symphonic black metal, definitely give Poetry for the Ill-Minded a listen. This, Anti-Life Savior and Map of Scars are my favorites. They're all so powerful and leave such a huge impression. I never once thought I'd hear a song about Hannibal Lecter, but here we are with this track.

25) Starset - Unbecoming

This and Satellite have to be my favorites off their new album. It has such a cool vibe and is slightly haunting. The electronic element is so strong and adds this really cool dimension to the music that I am absolutely in love with. Definitely a great jam.

26) Diablo Swing Orchestra - Interruption

Pacifisticuffs is such a fun album and this is one of the many cheesy songs off it. It's cheesy, but in the best way possible. That's how this band works with its cheese. The chorus starts with a strong "ohhhh wah-ohhh" that just sucks you in. So much fun. Definitely can't wait for the day I can see these guys live.

27) Fairy Bones - Killing Me

This is their latest single and it's so fun. I LOVE the blend of psychedelic rock with punk. Such a cool and fun sound. They're always bringing some new vibe in with their music and I always love it. Definitely give these guys a listen.

And that's it for this month! Hopefully next month won't be too long. ANYWAYS, enjoy these great tunes!

#me #Current Music Obsessions #metalhead #music #Edenbridge #symphonic metal #Alwaid #melodic metal #The Classic Crime #atmospheric rock #Crystal Gates #power metal #Adeia #progressive metal #After Forever #female fronted metal #Zoe Nash #pop #Blessed with Rage #metalcore #edm #Lovelorn Dolls #gothic metal #Swallow the Sun #doom metal #Banks #trip hop #ambient #Dream Ocean #Unleash the Archers

[gaynger]

Short Stories Formed From An Even Shorter Attention Span

An Intro To College Writing Assignment.

Short Stories Formed From An Even Shorter Attention Span

A Burning Curiosity

Leah gingerly picked through the stack of sticks that she found in the corner of the park. They were all slightly damp and fresh. They bent easily under the pressure of her young fingers. She cursed under her breath that she hadn’t found any dry twigs yet.

“Hey! Are you done yet? Come on!” A teenage boy’s voice called from far away.

Leah’s head swiveled, the snow that had landed gently on her long blonde hair was flung away with the rapid movement. Her fingers moved quicker now, searching through the pile frantically for something that would burn. She didn’t want to bring back bad sticks again or Kurt would do something much worse than twist her arm. Her eyes grew wide as she crawled along the frozen ground of the forest that lined the little park. Tiny frozen fingers dove under the leaf litter to try and find something that would satiate her older brother and his friends. Standing up, she looked through the icy wind and landed her gaze upon a small tree. This tree was only about half her height, and being only eight and one of the smallest in her class, even she towered over it. The larger tree whose branches swayed in the wind next to it had shielded this tiny sapling from the snow. Squeaky yellow boots went crunching excitedly through the slush as she ran toward the young tree.

“Kurt! Kurt! I found one! I did it!” her small voice raised as high as it could go to call back to her brother and his friends.

In no time she heard the thundering footsteps of four teenage boys rushing up behind her and eventually catching up. They passed the small girl, almost making her lose balance and fall. As she regained herself she looked up and saw all four of the boys crouching around the tiny sapling. One of Kurt’s friends had a Zippo lighter that he had been flicking about their faces all day. She saw the sunlight glint off the silver surface as the boy flipped the lid off and exposed a small branch to the hot flame.

“Hey! Wait for me!” Leah shouted as she neared the scene, huffing to a stop.

The tip of a delicate branch was dancing with a small flame beginning to engulf the whole plant. It took no longer than a few seconds before the entire two feet of the baby tree was no more than a crackling red hot object that danced in the wind. Tiny embers shot off the ends of the beginning branches. Leah’s bright blue eyes turned almost violet with the reflection of the flames.

“That’s so cool!” The Zippo’s owner breathed.

“Way better than just burning old shop receipts.” A friend chimed in.

“Go ahead and touch it, Leah.” Kurt beckoned softly.

“No way! I’ll get in trouble!” she squealed defiantly.

“Naw, nothing will happen! Watch.” he brought his hand closer to the flames and waved it over them without a flinch. “It’s easy.”

Leah’s curious gaze grew wider as she slowly approached the burning brush. Lifting her hand toward the flames she could feel the warmth that pulsated from it. Her hand was so close to the fire now, it was useless to turn back. As she neared the searing flame she felt a hand reach out and grab her shoulder. Kurt flung her back before she got a chance to feel the flames lick her fingers. As she was thrust backward, her foot slipped out from underneath her and kicked the inflamed branch, sending embers flying through the air. All of the youths watched in awe and dread as the bigger tree caught flame, and the tree next to that. Soon the forest they knew and loved was no more than a dancing mass of amber light, and the kids were no more than specks in the distance as they ran away from the havoc they had caused. Alone in the flames, with light glinting and dancing off of its shiny surface, laid the silver lighter. The only witness to what the unaided curiosity of a child may cause.

My Own

           I sat speechless, sunken into the old leather lazy boy chair that sat in the corner of our living room. My son… my son? The dingy white phone fell to the shaggy tan carpet.

           “Ma’am? Mrs. Reeves? … Hello?...”

The distant voice calling from the phone was slowly drown out by the thoughts swirling through my head. My hands gripped the leather arm rests with the strength only a mother in distress could produce. My son… My son… My son is dead. He’s not dead, he can’t be, he’s only been missing for a week. The detectives told me over and over that young boys run away all the time, it was only him acting out. He was just acting out. Of course I got suspicious when days flew past and I hadn’t heard a thing from him. But, my son was different, he was resilient, he was resilient. No. He is! He’s not dead, there’s no way. What could he have been doing down by the lake anyway? He knew he wasn’t allowed down there. No! He knows! Stop talking as if this is real! It’s not real! They’re lying, this has to be some horrible joke!

I stopped and looked around the room. I was standing now, hunched over a desk, using all my strength to hold myself up. Looking up I saw posters, and picture frames all torn to shreds around the room. I fell to my knees and picked up the picture of my son at his first little league game. My hands trembled and my fingers seemed to refuse to work as I scrambled to find the right pieces of glass to piece back together the frame it was in. Tears and blood from the broken frames leaked in between the wrinkles of my hands. Damn, I’ve gotten old.

I miss James

My brother James was in the Navy. He was. A few years ago his life was going in all the wrong places. He was homeless, he was using drugs, he was suicidal. And then all of a sudden, one day he came to us and said he was joining the Navy. We were all so proud of him. He was beaming with excitement. He really worked for it too. He lost the weight necessary to join and began the training regiments before he even went to boot camp. Everything he did now was for the Navy, it was his goal and he wouldn’t stop until he reached it. I still remember the day he came and visited before he left for boot, he was glowing with excitement. We got him baptised at our church and he was gone two weeks later. I didn’t see him again for almost a year after that. He came back to check in with us and to tell us he was going to be based in Hawaii. I was so excited for him, who doesn’t want to live in Hawaii? He looked great too! He looked like he had a purpose. So again he left, with hugs and kisses and good wishes.

           See, James wasn’t my legitimate brother, but he grew up with my older brother and our family. He lived just a couple doors down from us. He was my Brother from another mother if you will. His parents always kept us in the loop of his life. A couple of months after he began his adventure in Hawaii we got a call from them. It was a great day, we were leaving a concert that had been held at our church and we were standing under some pretty trees at the end of the church property. My dad suddenly collapsed and was sobbing, I had never heard him cry like that. I knew. I just knew that when he answered the phone with a greeting to Jamie’s parents that it just wasn’t good news. And that’s when I realised my brother was gone.

           I know it’s rude to say, but I almost wish the honor of battle had taken him instead of how he passed. He had been partying too hard with some of his buddies at the barracks and fell off a second story balcony. You’re supposed to break a leg when you fall from the second story. But no, he hit his head. He died in the hospital. And that was the worst day of my life.

Bitter Sweet

Powdered sugar sprinkled all around the tiny, dough-man’s body as it fell delicately from little Mandy’s tiny finger tips. She gazed down lovingly at the tray of overly decorated holiday cookie dough. This was the first batch of cookies that she had ever been allowed to make all by herself! Hearing the murmurs of the adults just beyond the kitchen door, she blinked at the sight of the oven looming over her. Mother had just told her to holler when she was done decorating so she could place the tray onto the rack in the oven and start the baking process. But, Mandy wondered how hard it could be, just simply placing a small tray of shapes into an oven. She puffed out her chest and decided to prove once and for all that she was old enough to do things her way! Five years on this earth had earned her a place amongst the adults, surely. She snatched the tray and balanced it gingerly above her head in one hand, and began to pull on the oven door handle. The door was hard at first but then it swung down fast and hard, making a huge BANG as it burst open. All at once a wave of heat blasted from the machine and blew little Mandy’s blonde bangs back with a warmth that stung her eyes. The kitchen door swung open and she could hear her mother shriek her name in a tone that she knew would warrant her a time-out. Turning to face the punishment, the tray suddenly tilted and put the smal girl off balance, making her fall backward and her tiny hand grabbed for the only thing she could reach to sturdy herself. She propped herself up and glared down at her fist confused. Her eyes opened wide and she squealed, removing her hand quickly from the oven grate and waving it wildly at her mother for guidance and comfort. As she was tucked safely into her mother’s arms, sobbing and clenching her tiny scorched fist, she heard her father in the corner of the room mutter just loud enough to hear, “Bet you won’t ever do that again.”

Itchy Stitch

           Walking through the endless rows of women’s active wear is all I seem to do anymore. Hanging up loose pieces of clothing that mindless shoppers throw around willy-nilly is honestly  the highlight of my day. Not. For instance, the shirt that I’m holding right now (a medium tie-dye halter top with a turquoise beaded neckline) has been passed through at least fifteen pairs of hands today as people lift it up and shake it around. They hold these pieces of cloth close to their bodies and look in the mirror. They’re not actually trying it on (that would be too hard) but just imagining the tight fitting cloth clinging to their bodies. Then, instead of even attempting to fold and replace the shirt where they had found it, they carelessly toss it onto another rack or simply let it fall to the floor! I have folded this shirt as many times as I have seen it be thrashed between the grubby, sweaty hands of these obscene shoppers. This is the last time I will fold this shirt, the last one! Because if I see one more hot-headed, maniacal window licker ask their friend whether or not it’s “them”, and then let it tumble to the dirty carpet, I will snatch it right up off the ground and ring it up myself! I will buy this ugly top if it will end the needless suffering it and I are going through today.

#Fiction Non-Fiction Children Sibling Soldier James Fire LessonLearned