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picturespurple-68 · 4 months

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Rusame/Amerus Secret Santa 2023 Gift

This is my secret santa gift for @vodkanburgers

I'm not really used to writing fluff so I hope you like it!

Summary: Cardverse au, Alfred is away on business and sends Ivan a few gifts to keep him company in his absence.

Rating: Teen (mostly sfw but the ending is suggestive)

To Ivan, Alfred was many things: a loud mouth with a lack of impulse control, a gifted magic wielder praised far too much throughout his land, and, just like himself, a grown child forced into the role of ruler much too soon. At least, as neighbors, they found they could confide in each other what few living could understand. Their circumstances had led to a deep kinship between the two, and that kinship had recently found itself evolving into a courtship (with the approval of their queens and aces of course). However, the little differences in how their kingdoms go about "dating" (as Alfred would call it), has led to a few instances of rendering Ivan more flustered than he’s ever been in his life.

Within the Spadian kingdom, gift giving is seen as the most celebrated of gestures because to them, it shows just how much someone really knows about those they love and to give them the things they want without ever having to ask. Truthfully, Ivan saw it more as an excuse to flaunt one's wealth and to monetize some of the most inane things, however he couldn't deny the giddiness he felt whenever another one of Alfred’s presents showed up at his castle's steps.

That's why, with Alfred out on a trip to the Diamonds’ kingdom for the next several weeks, Ivan wasn't surprised when he found the first gift of many placed neatly on his bed with a deep indigo envelope sat next to it.

Gift #1

"To my dearest,

Ivan, I hope in my absence I fill your thoughts just as much as you fill mine. In times like this I wished I had had a memento of yours to keep at my side, but I guess that’s why hindsight is 20/20. That’s why I've taken the liberty of capturing a photo more special than any ever made just for you.

With love,

Alfred

P.S. Don’t be afraid to take a closer look at it~"

The note was sappy, more so than usual. Ivan wondered if maybe the dramatics of the over emotional Diamonds’ people had rubbed off on the Spadian in such a short amount of time.

The accompanied box was thin and carefully wrapped in a golden ribbon that Ivan didn't hesitate to open. What he saw inside was a silver, ornately metal frame of tiny vines and flora that held behind glass a picture of Alfred. The glowing smile he always wore displayed prominently as he was captured mid wave to the camera. It was adorable.

Pulled in closer as told, he ran a gentle thumb down his framed face and a second later almost dropped the thing when Alfred moved. His hand was actually now waving at him and his smile transformed into an open silent laugh. When his movements slowed, he gave a smooth wink and mouthed something to the viewer before it suddenly reset to its original still image. In fascination at this new feat, Ivan watched it loop the same thing over and over until he was able to read the words on Alfred’s lips, “I love you”.

–

Only a few weeks had passed when a second package and letter was delivered straight to Ivan. He didn’t hesitate to rush to his chambers and open both items in private.

Gift #2

"To my dearest,

Ivan, in the short amount of time I've been here, Francis has asked me just about every question about the two of us (and obviously taking too much glee in watching me squirm). His doting “big brother” behavior reminds me of Arthur and it’s a wonder how they seemingly can’t find a middle ground like us to remain civil.

Aside from him, I've been enjoying my time with Diamond's newest royal Queen Lillie. She's almost as young as we were when called and has honestly been a real breath of fresh air among the stuffy coots in their court. In our free time she’s even begun teaching me knitting, like you love to do, and I’ve made you something special.

With love,

Alfred

P.S. I'm still a bit rusty, so if you really really really love me, you won't judge my work too harshly!"

That last part brought out a chuckle from him. This box now was bigger than the first one and as he lifted the lid, a look of confusion crossed his face. Inside was a "folded" mass of red fabric made of a thin yarn material. Picking the item up didn't really help as the shape revealed itself to be something like a…shawl, but the knitted threads were too spaced out to be of proper use in the cold. It seems he wanted to make Ivan something like a scarf, just as he’s done in the past for Alfred.

While not the best work, the thought definitely still counted. It even made his heart beat and brought him joy when he could smell a faint trace of the sharp cologne the young man loved to smother himself in. He knew just where to put this gift.

Gently, he folded up the fabric and placed it on his bedside table as a new piece of decor. Now it would make a lovely scene for Ivan to wake up to while it sat right next to his specially framed photo of Alfred’s goofy mug.

–

With only a week left before his return, Ivan was surprised when another gift was announced for him. It was the weightiest of all three packages and he was hungry with curiosity to open the, strangely, beige colored box.

Gift #3

“To my dearest,

Ivan, being without you has left me longing for you day, and especially night. I’ve missed holding you, I’ve missed sharing a bed with you, and I’ve missed touching the most intimate parts of your body. As soon as I’m able to see you again, I want to cover your face in the biggest, sloppiest kisses I can make and keep you in my company until we’re nagged enough to go back to our duties.

I know how flustered you usually get after reading your sisters’ romance novels and I can only dream of how you are now. If that is the case, please be sure you’re alone when you open your present. It took quite a bit of trial and error, but the final product is totally worth it. Just about one week left!

With love,

Alfred

P.S. Hopefully you think of me every time you use it.”

The contents of his letter stayed rooted in his mind like a weed in his greenhouse. From the things he referred to, Ivan had an idea of what could be in that box and waited until after dinner to rush off to his room.

On his bed sat the box. With jittery hands, he opened it to find a royal purple satin bag closed by a simple drawstring. By holding the bag Ivan could make out the shape of something cylindrical and when he pulled it out, he saw it was white with a cap to screw off. Removing it revealed– Oh.

A flesh colored inside greeted his eyes and his face flush harder than he’s ever felt since Alfred first confessed to him. He quickly re-capped the thing and sat in embarrassed silence with the object held in his lap. Questions swirled through his head of why, when, and how, but another one dominated them all.

What does it feel like?

Ivan knew when the man got back he was going to be hounded about if he got his gifts and how much did he like them. Curiosity burned inside and it only made sense to use his gift like how Alfred intended it. Just thinking about how happy he’ll be to see him again is all it really took for Ivan to give in and un-cap the device. The two other presents on his bedside table will be of great use tonight, tomorrow, and every night until he’ll get to physically hold Alfred again.

#hetalia #hws russia #hws america #ivan braginsky #alfred f jones #amerus #rusame #my writing #cardverse #rusame secret santa #rusame exchange

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erismor-iok · 3 months

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Rusame Exchange

For @huggiebird, i hope you had an amazing holiday and I am sorry this came so late but I hope you enjoy!

#rusame exchange #rusame secret santa #aph america #aph russia #rusame

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justlikeawartimenovelty · 4 months

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RusAme Secret Santa for @opossumpillowz

Their prompt was Stargazing on hill(they'd probably have a telescope set up or have a picnic :3) or on the porch of winter vacation home/cabin. I really enjoyed drawing this! Decided to have them out camping in the Alaskan wilderness and they happen upon the aurora lights.

#rusame #spaceracedates #rusame secret santa #rusame exchange #insomnia art

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flying-fish-styx · 4 months

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Hetalia: Axis Powers Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Rape/Non-Con Relationships: America/Russia (Hetalia) Characters: America (Hetalia), Russia (Hetalia) Additional Tags: Dragons, Alternate Universe - Dragons, Magic, Alternate Universe - Magic, Emotional Manipulation, Dubious Consent, Rape/Non-con Elements, Magical Tattoos, Sex, Porn With Plot, Human Sacrifice, RusAme Secret Santa Summary:

I was @deadandcheerful's secret santa this year so this is for them! ଘ(✿ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ~~✩

Alfred lives in a world shrouded in an ancient, everlasting snow storm. The humans of this world live in fear of the monsters outside their city and the dragons ruling them from above. All Alfred wants is a life of warmth and happiness in this world. All Ivan wants is a useful pawn.

#rusame #amerus #hetalia #rusame secret santa #rusame secret santa 2023 #sacrifice for the sky #rusame exchange

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pinkflipphonez · 4 months

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here’s my rusame secret santa gift for amerus king @ironicorange!

I hope I did the funny christmas sweater concept justice (ivan totally knitted them both) and it was a huge honor to draw something for you! thank you for representing the amerus/rusame community as amazingly as you do, much love! xo

#hetalia #amerus #rusame #hws america #hws russia #rusame secret santa 2023 #after this pic they got absolutely drunk on vodka sodas #kikidoodlez

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jayaii · 5 months

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My secret santa gift for @pinkflipphonez ! Merry christmas, god jul!

#hetalia #aph #aph hetalia #art #hetalia fanart #hws #nyo america #nyo russia #nyo rusame #secret santa #merry christmas #god jul

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shepherd-of-the-stars · 4 months

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Bound

Summary:

For a creature with such tainted and cursed blood to attempt what he did, being consumed by the flames seemed the most merciful punishment. For a werewolf to summon a demon—if the Devil himself didn’t come up to spite him for such an insult, he was sure God would have. (werewolf!Alfred and demon!Ivan)

Notes:

Gift for @flying-fish-styx in @spaceracedates 's Rusame Secret Santa event Surprise!!! >:) I got you for the secret santa lol. when I tell you I STRUGGLED to pick one of your prompts, I mean it lmao. I loved them all. But I had to choose. Hope you enjoy! love you Prompts: Running away together/ Magic/ Demons/ werewolves TW: medium gore, death. Arthur stans, this one is not for you, babes ao3 link in the notes

He was… alive.

Wounded and dizzy from the blood loss, legs too weak for him to stand, but still, very much, alive.

And for the life of him, he couldn’t understand why. From the moment he slid the blade across his palm and painted the circle with his blood while reciting the ominous chant, he’d expected to burst into flames as the floor opened up and swallowed him into the deepest pits of Hell. That’s what should have happened. For a creature with such tainted and cursed blood to attempt what he did, being consumed by the flames seemed the most merciful punishment.

For a werewolf to summon a demon—if the Devil himself didn’t come up to smite him for such an insult, he was sure God would have.

Perhaps that was still a possibility for him.

As Alfred stared into the six eyes of the demon in front of him—towering over him in height, monstrous body covered in scales and black tar, claws strong enough to crush him with one swipe, and a mouth full of crooked, fanged teeth—he couldn’t help but wonder if this one had come to grant his wishes like the book said, or if it was here to tear him to pieces.

“Hello.”

Alfred couldn’t help but flinch as the sound ripped through his body. The beast’s mouth didn’t move when it spoke. Whatever voice it possessed slammed into him like a shockwave and vibrated through his soul into his brain. It was deep and pitched and ghostly all at once. Terrifying and sinister. And looking right at Alfred for an answer.

“Hi,” Alfred choked out, his voice almost swallowed by his own shaky, horrified breathing.

The demon—cocking its head to the side—seemed to recognize his fear. It should have been then that it opened its mouth and swallowed Alfred whole. But instead, it let out a single, low laugh, before rising to its hind legs and… shifting.

Scales and claws sunk into pale flesh, fangs retracted into its mouth, and bones cracked audibly as its form changed into that of a man. A perfectly normal looking man. With the horns of a bull and eyes of glowing violet. And naked from head to toe.

“I apologize.” Its—his voice came smooth like burning liquor, no longer that unworldly noise. “It’s been some time since my last summoning. I’ve forgotten that humans get a little spooked by our true forms.”

How was Alfred to respond? Even though the demon seemed human now, Alfred had already seen what it could become. In seconds, it could change back and take his head in one bite. Instead, it was apologizing. Being… polite.

“Why are you here?” Alfred recognized the voice as his own, but he didn’t remember moving his lips to speak.

The demon replied again by cocking his head to the side. He looked down at the circle under his bare feet, then over at the worn, ancient book at Alfred’s side. “ You summoned me, my dear. Have you forgotten?” Then he smiled—all teeth—and Alfred was shown that even in his human form, the demon still had the power to tear his throat out if he so wished. Behind those innocent, pink lips was a full set of fangs, and a taste for flesh.

“But—” Alfred swallowed, and the demon watched with an eerie patience as he waited for his answer. Clutching his bleeding hand to his chest and suppressing the tremor in his voice, he continued. “—I’m a werewolf. My blood is cursed! This shouldn’t have worked. How is—. I—”

“Yet you still tried.” The demon took a step closer. And closer. Until he knelt before Alfred with his hand outstretched. When Alfred didn’t move, still frozen in terror, the demon reached out to take his wounded hand into his own. “You humans will do anything when you are desperate.”

“I’m not human.” He tried desperately to tear his hand away from the beast, but he refused to let go. “Not anymore.”

“If that is one of your requests, I’m afraid I can’t help you.” The demon examined Alfred’s wounds before bringing them to his lips and running his forked tongue along the cuts. It must have had a sudden taste for blood, Alfred assumed. Until his wounds started to heal. Heal . Then the demon released Alfred’s hand and sat cross-legged on the floor. “I can make you stronger, taller, give you wings or claws, but I can’t change you back into a human.”

Alfred stared down silently at his hands. They were perfect. Restored. Like nothing had happened. But a demon still sat in front of him, waiting for his command like a dog. “You… you’re really here to help me? To do whatever I want?”

“For a price. Depending on the weight of your requests, I will take away pieces of your soul until one day, you simply drop dead.” Said like a host explaining the rules of a game. Like his life was nothing but another number on the board.

“And if I don’t make any requests?”

“Then I leave. And you go back to suffering whatever it was that pushed you to this point. Shall I?”

As he began to stand, Alfred instinctively reached out to grab him and keep him in his place. But the moment his hands came in contact with the demon’s skin, he pulled away. The demon was ice cold to the touch.

“Wait— Please. I—I have a request.”

At that, the demon smiled and returned to his spot in front of Alfred on the floor.

“Well?”

Alfred once more found himself at a loss for words. What he wanted to say screamed in his mind and begged to be heard, but his throat remained locked.

“I may live forever, but you won’t.”

The demon was mocking him.

“Come now. What was so important to you that you risked your life to summon me?”

Say it.

“Tell me, little pup.”

Alfred’s head jerked up at the nickname and somehow found the courage to give the demon a glare. “Don’t call me that.”

Unfazed, the demon smiled wider. Then said, “ Woof. ”

His breath hitched, the dam broke, and the words burst from his chest. “I want you to kill the man who turned me!” His whole body went cold as his own words escaped. Any moment now, his pack would burst through the doors of the abandoned barn and drag him back to their den to be punished. He was already dead. His fate was sealed. So he continued. “He took everything from me. I had a life! A family! And he took it all away. He kept me alive because he said I was strong. That I would be good for the pack, but I wish everyday he would have killed me too.”

His hands wouldn’t stop shaking, so he pinned them under his arms. “My only way out is to kill him. But I can’t do it. I can’t kill him. This stupid, fucking eternal pack bond keeps me from even—” His hands were in front of him now, wrapped around an invisible neck and squeezing until his nails drew crescents into his palms. Then he let out a defeated breath and let his hands fall back onto his lap. “I can’t hurt him. We’re bound by blood. I’m… I’m trapped.”

The demon let out a soft, amused hum of understanding before straightening his posture. “Humans are all the same. Violence is always their solution.” Then a pause Alfred dared not interrupt. “Alright then. Tell me, little one. Who is he, and where can I find him?”

Alfred answered slowly with hesitation in his voice.

“Arthur Kirkland. He’s at the den.”

------ (v—v) ------

When Alfred had imagined how it would be like to kidnap his pack leader, he thought it would be something out of a movie. He would walk down the hallway of their shared house, and the demon behind him would slaughter everyone who stepped foot in their path. By the end, Alfred, covered in blood, would be untouched, and Arthur would beg to be spared once he saw the lifeless bodies of his pack members.

But life wasn’t like the movies.

Once Alfred had made his request, the demon fell into the shadows—gone—and seconds later, came back with the man, holding him by the neck like he was a doll.

“This one?” He held Arthur up like a freshly caught fish as the werewolf clawed and struggled for breath. Sensing danger, Arthur began to shift. But before he could even get his claws to form, he was slammed into the floor so hard that it was a wonder how his skull didn’t crack open.

“Nice try,” the demon sang. “But try again and I will rip your head off.” Confident the wolf wouldn’t make another attempt to shift, he looked again to Alfred and repeated his question. “Is this the one you want me to kill?”

Only then did Arthur notice there was another person in the room. Alfred, the boy he had saved and raised; he thought of him as a son. Why would he do this?

“Alfred,” his voice shook, blood dripped past his lips onto the floor. ”What is this? What have I done? Say it isn’t me, boy! Tell him the truth. It isn’t me! You have to help me—”

“Yes” —a black, clawed hand clamped his creator's mouth shut—”or no? I will take silence as a ‘yes’.”

Alfred stared into Arthur’s wild, panicked eyes, unable to move. His wolf instincts screamed for him to save his pack leader, so loudly that he could barely hear the muffled pleads. It was only barely that he was able to force one, singular nod.

Then the screams began.

And the world around him fell into a dark blur.

His whole body felt numb as he stared—unseeing—at the slaughter in front of him. He witnessed every strike, every piece of flesh torn from Arthur’s body, but at the same time, saw nothing. Like everything he saw was immediately wiped from his memory the moment he saw it.

Then it was over.

He didn’t know how long it lasted, but Arthur was no longer… Arthur. He was a corpse so brutally torn apart that it no longer resembled a human. Bits and pieces scattered across the walls. Chunks of flesh stuck between the demon’s teeth as it licked its fingers clean. An echo of a voice in the back of his mind. He was gone. And Alfred was free.

He was free.

What now?

It didn’t matter.

He was free.

But nothing had changed.

He looked down at his hands, soaked in red as the pool of blood spread closer to him. It stained his clothes. Clothes that Arthur had bought him. Arthur. His leader. The man who saved him. Took care of him like a father when he was turned. Taught him everything he needed to know.

The only man left to call his family.

He had made a mistake.

“Bring him back.”

He lurched forward, scraping the blood and guts on the floor back into a heap.

“I fucked up. Bring him back!”

He didn’t know if the demon responded. All he could hear was his own frantic breathing as he gathered the pieces of Arthur into his hands and laid them in the center of the floor.

But nothing worked.

Arthur was gone.

And it was all his fault.

He felt wetness on his cheeks and reached up to wipe it away, only for the blood to mix with his tears until it was hard to tell the difference between the two.

“I fucked up,” he choked out. “This isn’t what I wanted. I take it back. Please—”

“I’m sorry, little one.” The demon squatted in front of him, flesh squelched beneath his bare feet. “I cannot take back what I’ve done.”

“But I messed up. This isn’t what I wanted—”

“It is.” The demon reached forward to steady Alfred’s hands. Those same hands, once warm, now matched the icy feel of the demon's.

Then the world around them shifted, and when Alfred looked up again, he saw the night sky and the rain falling around them. The blood on his hands washed away, and in the dark mud beneath them, it simply disappeared. He didn’t know where they were, but everything around them smelled different. New.

“This isn’t my first time taking a human’s request to kill someone in their family. There is always guilt and regret, but in time, you will move on and realize it was the right choice.”

“How long does that usually take?” His voice trembled from the adrenaline and the cold.

Without having to say a word, the demon shielded him from the rain with his wings. “Months. Sometimes years. It depends on the person.”

“Why are you being nice to me?”

“Can I not be?”

“You’re a demon.”

“And I am bound to you.”

Bound like he used to be with Arthur. Yet this felt different, somehow.

“What’s your name?”

It was a simple enough question, but it was one the demon still needed to think over. “I have no name, but my previous owner called me ‘Ivan’. I suppose you can call me that as well.”

Ivan. The name of the demon that would be with him for the rest of his life.

“Ivan,” he tried. The name sounded right. “Ivan, take me somewhere warm.”

His demon smiled, bowing his head. “As you wish.”

#rusame #rusame fanfiction #rusame secret santa #hws russia #hws america #you 🤝 me #mutual arthur hatred #its the parental trauma i suppose

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firefly6591 · 4 months

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Rusame is the worst muse and the universe is a cruel master. I have never struggled so much coloring a piece as I have with this one. I am ending this year with murderous intent

#it’s for the rusame secret Santa 😭😭😭#if I didn’t want it to be perfect it would probably be easier

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deadandcheerful · 1 year

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Happy new year, @starry-matt and thank you for your patience, comrade, I hope it was worth it. Thank you for this cute event, @spaceracedates ❤️❤️❤️

#rusame secret santa #rusame exchange #rusame #amerus #ivan braginsky #alfred jones #APH Russia #APH America #hws russia #hws america #hetalia

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reesinkvamp · 1 year

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Doing a little secret santa trade ~~

(So of course I had to draw my best boy wink wink)

#hws russia #hws fanart #aph hetalia #aph russia #rusame #fandom #secret santa #digital art #art wip #hetalia #gakuen hetalia #axis powers hetalia #anime

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artsycorn · 4 months

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My RusAme secret santa gift for @mochinoop ✨

I was going for something simple and fluffy, I hope you like it ☺️

#rusame exchange

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hetagrammy · 4 months

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A Secret Santa piece I did for one of my fellow zine artist, poxtra, for the @hws-anthology! America and Russia began interacting through illegal trade during the 18th century, so I thought a secret first meeting off a merchant ship was fitting. I highly recommend checking out poxtra's instagram for their excellent art, especially if you're a RusAme fan.

#hetalia #my art #historical hetalia #hws russia #hws america #aph russia #aph america #rusame

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aph-america · 4 months

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[ RusAme secret Santa for @erismor-iok ! ]

“Thank you for sneaking away with me, parties make me a bit anxious…”

Ivan put his hand carefully on Alfred’s back as they walked into his bedroom. Closing the door behind him, he was happy to be in the safety of his room. The sense of security brought down his nerves. While it could be fun to dress up and chat with others, Ivan could easily get overwhelmed by the parties his family threw. He had to be on his best behavior, and couldn’t risk embarrassing his family or image. The pressure was a bit much for the young adult, who would need a break from time to time.

Alfred was a fantastic distraction. From everything, now. Ivan’s older sister Katyushka, who was queen of their planet, had been pushing Ivan to chat with single royals of other empires. Ivan being only a prince, he would only be in line for the crown if something were to happen to his sister. However, his older sister proved to be healthy, and had plans on having children. Everything laid on her, and she had plans to keep her rule going. But his sister still wished to give something to her brother, and didn’t want him to stay a ‘prince’ for all his life.

“There’s plenty of nice princes or even king’s! Don’t worry, we’ll find you a husband.”

While it only came out of love and wanting the best for her younger brother, Ivan found the idea of being married off slightly terrifying. Ivan didn’t enjoy the spotlight, and honestly felt satisfied from the perks and responsibilities of being just a prince. He didn’t feel like he needed more- it was another power and privilege, and he partly was scared of the responsibility of having to lead a whole empire or planet.

Not to mention, he hated the idea of marrying someone who he didn’t love. The boy had a passion for reading, and spent too many hours lost in romance novels. His own mind would fall into the fantasy of meeting a guy who made him laugh and feel good about himself. He didn’t care if he was a commoner or the leader of the universe; he simply wanted something genuine.

Ivan wondered if it was silly and a goal that was unreasonable for his social status and upbringing. But a boy could dream.

And he would dream about Alfred, his Jedi bodyguard.

At first Ivan thought the need for a bodyguard to be unnecessary. He felt that he could fend for himself and wasn’t in any danger. However, he changed his tune at first sight of Alfred. Then the idea of someone following him around isn’t so bad.

Ivan became infatuated quite fast; the boy was different from the rest. While Alfred is protective and looks after Ivan, he isn’t a yes man. Ivan didn’t get the fake niceness he got from most people. No fake opinions, Alfred spoke his mind and didn’t care who he was speaking to. Ivan adored being around someone genuine, who saw him more than a prince. He felt like everyone around him was fake in a sense. It seemed like most people treated him a certain way because they felt like they had to, or they wanted something out of him. It dug into Ivan’s heart, as it became hard to navigate through his relationships.

Ivan still had trouble reading Alfred at times. He had fallen hard for the man, and would drop hints from time to time about his attraction. But it all seemed to bounce off of Alfred. Yet, sometimes it seemed like Alfred was flirting or trying to be romantic with Ivan at another moment. Ivan thought that he would only get a straight answer if he made a first move. However- that was terrifying.

But after hours of contemplating on what to do, he thought doing it the night of the party would be a good moment. Perhaps he’d read too many romance novels, but he hoped being dressed up and looking his best could help win over his crush. Which he was- his sister had decided on a winter wonderland theme. Ivan's outfit could be described sparkly, his long robe being white lace with crystals on it. His hands, wrist, and neck were iced out in pure white diamonds; Ivan isn’t a materialist person but he hoped to impress Alfred. He even wore his crown, which was rare. It was simple as he hated large crowns. It’s thin and small, having clear gems put in the platinum metal. It suited Ivan’s style.

Patting an empty space next to him on his bed, he signaled for Alfred to take a seat. Which the Jedi did, smiling as he enjoyed being close and having alone time with Ivan. His own heart had fallen, but the man tried to distract and act as if he didn’t know it as much as possible. Because he shouldn’t fall in love. He can’t. But it was easier said than done.

“It’s not a problem- I bet this all gets… kind of tiring after a while. Speaking to a million people over and over again.” He spoke in agreement. Ivan nodded, looking down at his small glass of white wine. “It is- and so formal. None of it feels real.” He confessed, before looking back up again. “But it is okay. I have you around. You make me happy.” He gushed, a soft smile growing on his face as he softly placed his hand on Alfred’s shoulder. His fingers played with his shirt, trying to be flirtatious.

The Jedi seemed to enjoy the attention and gave a smirk back, having a small blush on his cheeks. “I like being around you too…” He agreed, not minding Ivan’s soft touches. He naturally leaned in as a result.

Ivan took it as a positive sign, deciding to go forward with his move making. “My sister… she keeps… telling me to talk to all the single princes and king’s… she is trying to get me a husband…”

Alfred’s sly smirk turned into a neutral expression, the corner of his mouth twitching as if the idea upset him. He tried to change his expression to one of not being pressed, but his stiffened body language said otherwise. “You don’t have to marry anyone you don’t want to…. You’re… you’re too young anyway.” Alfred defended the idea of Ivan staying single. It seemed to irk him the idea of Ivan getting engaged and moving far away.

Ivan read it all as a positive sign. His heart started to beat, as he had a little, pleased smile on his face and a blush to match. It was almost like his Jedi was getting a bit possessive over him, and that pleased Ivan like nothing else. “I know. I do not want to marry someone just because they are royal… I think it is just… an outdated concept… I already like someone anyway…”

The last sentence was said in a low voice, as it was hard for Ivan to spit out. He looked to the side, his face turning up a notch in terms of redness. Alfred looked at his crushes burning face, tensing up more. Was Ivan talking about him or someone else?

“No… I can’t think like that.” He thought, trying to knock away the idea of being happy that Ivan loved him back. He couldn’t be in a relationship. He couldn’t fall in love. He couldn’t let his life be ruled by emotions. The idea was drilled into his head since he was a young child. Romance, sex, love, kisses, intimacy; those human experiences were all taken from him.

But it was hard to keep his mind away from relationships every time he saw Ivan smile or blush. His heart would beat faster, wishing he could lean in more.

However, it was no, no, and no.

“... Who?” It spilled out, which Alfred mentally kicked himself for, especially after lecturing himself about not falling into the trap of being in love with Ivan.

Ivan’s face deepened in red, looking down at his wine again as he offered a nervous smile. “Just some… cute guy…. He has a cool weapon… and I like his braid.. is that silly?” He finally looked up, his face reading bashfulness and being shy. Coyness seemed to be the only way Ivan found himself admitting his feelings, and he prayed that Alfred would pick up on it.

Alfred’s heart kept racing. While Alfred could be obvious, it was slapping him in the face. He knew Ivan was talking about him, but he didn’t know how to handle it! Ivan was tempting, and he found it difficult to resist. His eyes would glance at Ivan’s full pink lips, wondering what they’d look like with little bruises.

“Ugh. I’m disgusting.” He mentally scolded himself.

“Cute… Cute boys make me nervous… Ha! … My sister wants me to save myself for marriage… She says men like it…” his anxiety only amped up, he felt his voice getting more low and shaky. He’s never confessed a crush or love for another person. He wasn’t even sure if he was doing it right! Alfred’s ears perked up at the idea of Ivan never having a first kiss. He liked that. No one has gotten to put their lips on his Ivan.

Alfred mentally kicked himself again for thinking Ivan was his.

“Have you ever kissed someone?” He asked, finally looking at him again. He had heard rumors that Jedi weren’t supposed to get married or have relationships, but he’s also heard of it happening. Would Alfred really live a life of abstinence? He came off as too free spirited.

Alfred looked down, shaking his head. He kept silent for a moment. “No. The force has to guide me. Not emotions. It’s… just not my destiny.” Something felt wrong saying that. Alfred couldn't put his tongue on it, but a part of his soul felt jabbed at saying that he could never be in love. He felt something for Ivan.

Why is it a bad thing?

“Oh….”

Ivan’s smile faded slightly, with his lips twitching. His heart hurt hearing Alfred shrug off the idea of a relationship when he was in the mist of confessing his love for him. Maybe he needed to try harder.

Taking a sip of the wine to calm his nerves, he put it up to Alfred’s lips, offering some. “Want a sip? It is very sweet…. I think you’d like it.” In hopes of being cute, he didn’t want to give up on flirting just yet, even if his voice was shy and it is clear he is anxious.

Alfred shook his head, denying the drink. “Nah, I can’t do that…” No drugs or alcohol were a part of the lifestyle as well. Nothing that fogs the mind.

Ivan tried to hold back a pout, but did understand and pull away the drink. Taking another sip, he chose a different route of flirting. “I.. can’t believe you’ve never kissed someone… you are so handsome… I bet a lot of boys and girls would want to kiss you… Heh…” he let out a small, nervous chuckle, wishing he came off less awkward. He didn’t have experience flirting, as his queen sister kept him away from boys that Ivan seemed to get crushes on. She didn’t want him to have any temptations.

“I am rather jealous, I wish someone would want to kiss me…” He offered a nervous smile, even if he was putting himself down. It being a gentle opinion of himself, he never viewed himself as attractive or desirable. While people would be friendly to him, he never got flirted with, or at least never had interactions that gave hints of it. He wondered if he just was unattractive. His older sister told him otherwise, but all his crushes seemed one-sided. Not to mention, he younger sister Natalia had constant suitors. Maybe he is just weird?

Alfred looked at him, his eyes soft as he frowned. He thought Ivan was a beautiful and sweet person, it made him sad to hear that Ivan didn’t think highly of himself. Especially since Alfred was smitten by the prince. He couldn’t be the only person to fall for the boy.

“I bet someone wants to kiss you…” He whispered, looking at Ivan’s lips. He leaned in slowly, ignoring the voices in his head to stop. He couldn’t- he felt a pull. He let himself lead by emotions-

“Oh?” Ivan smiled, noticing Alfred leaning in. Slowly as well, he did too, and once his face was closer, he started to close his eyes and mentally prepare himself for their lips to meet. His heart overflowing with joy, he couldn’t believe he was about to kiss Alfred.

But then he could when Alfred pulled away.

Shaking his head, he looked to the other side. “I- I can’t. I’m sorry. I… Fuck-“ He swore, getting up and basically running out of his room. Ivan stood frozen, trying to process what just happened. And when he did, his eyes started to well up with tears as his heart cracked. Placing the glass of wine on his dresser, the boy bursted out into tears. He hadn’t felt so rejected; it felt so cruel for Alfred to lean in as if he was about to kiss him. Only for him to pull away.

Getting under the covers, he tried to control his crying. He couldn’t believe how foolish he was to think Alfred loved him back. Why would he? Every negative thought about himself flooded his mind. Maybe getting married off wasn’t a horrible idea. Maybe… is it better than being alone?

Alfred couldn’t run far. Once he closed Ivan’s door, he leaned against it, knowing he couldn’t abandon Ivan. Putting his head on the door, he cried sniffles that could only be from Ivan. It felt like someone shoved something sharp into his chest. He couldn’t forgive himself for making his love cry- for hurting him so badly. His own eyes filled with tears, he sat down on the floor, hugged his knees, and placed his head on them.

#it’s???? star wars ISH!!!!!!#aph russia #aph america #amerus #rusame

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