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didiletyouknooow · 7 years

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28. Strip My Mind

Hey,

it’s Superbowl night! And here is a new chapter of Josh & Eileen! I hope you like it! Thank you for your feedback and nice words about my story :)

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April

Josh looked me in the eyes without saying anything. “I mean….seriously, who is Chloe?” I repeated my question with a louder voice. “Eileen…” Josh sighed. “No, please be honest. Who is she?” “She’s just a friend” he said and looked out of the window. “A friend?” I couldn’t believe him. What I heard at the restroom didn’t sound like friends to me. It must’ve been more. “Why do you ask? You only saw her once when I talked with her and Amelia” “No….not really. I heard her talking with Amelia in the restroom a few minutes before you talked to them. And I would believe you that you’re only friends if she wouldn’t have talked about hooking up with you…again” I let him know. Josh sighed and ruffled his hair. He seemed stressed. “Is she one of your exes?” “No” it was the first time in minutes Josh said a word. “Then what?” “Why do you wanna know it so badly?” he asked me. “Because I want to know why there is a woman out there talking about hooking up with my boyfriend again and a few minutes later I see her talking to my boyfriend? And she was obviously flirting with you” “She didn’t flirt with me!” “Well….she did. Believe me. I watched her” “Eileen….don’t be so jea….” “Jealous? Is it what you wanted to say? That I should stop being so jealous?” He nodded. “Please tell me how should I stop being jealous when there are always new women or ex girlfriends popping up? When there are women who plan to hook up with you again? When these women are at your concerts in the backstage area? HOW?” “Always? Who do you think of? Mia is the only ex you know about” “Right. But who is Chloe? Amelia?!” “I told you about Amelia!” “Yes but….who is Chloe? And why did she plan to hook up with you again? So you did hook up before?” Josh sighed again. It was a disaster. We were sitting in his car discussing about women I didn’t even know. “Yes I hooked up with her” he finally said. “It was last year. She’s a friend of Amelia and she cast an eye on me before. So when we were touring in Australia I met her at the beach because she was on vacation there and she attended our concert and afterwards we all went to a pub together and well…one thing led to another and we had sex. She joined us on tour for the next weeks and it was just for fun. But when we came back to L.A. I ended it because I didn’t have any feelings for her. But she didn’t want to accept it so she assailed me with messages and calls and I told her that I didn’t want to continue our…thing…it took her some time to accept it.” Wow okay. So this was the story about Chloe. “Aha” I said in a very obvious German accent. “Well…you asked me” “I did right” “So yes we hooked up but it was just casual sex – which I didn’t even like!” “Okay…” I said. “But….why didn’t you tell me when I asked you?” “I did tell you” “Yes but only because I kept asking”

“Eileen…please STOP asking, okay?” Josh suddenly shouted and I cringed. “It’s my history okay? Everyone has history. I have, you have. Everyone! I’m 34, I dated women and I loved women and now I’m dating and loving you but to me it seems that you don’t understand it. You don’t see it. Instead you see danger in every woman I talk to! Did I ever ask you about your ex boyfriends except of Steve? No. Did I ever react jealous because you talked to other guys? No. Why? Because I trust you. And I thought you can trust me but turned out that you can’t trust anyone anymore, am I right? Maybe you should think about it” he said and left the car. I was still sitting in his car totally shocked because of his words. I never saw him so angry. Josh was still standing next to the car with the driver’s door open. He leaned on it and seemed to think about his next words. “Well Eileen, maybe we should both think about what we want in a relationship” I heard him saying. I left the car and looked to Josh but he looked away. “I’m sorry” I mumbled. “Seriously, I can’t take it anymore! You’re always reacting so jealous that I almost feel like in a cage!” “But Josh….it’s not that easy for me. You don’t live a normal life, you…” “Well I know. I don’t have a 9 to 5 job where I only meet boring people. Instead I fly around the world, play concerts and meet very interesting people and have always fun, right? Is this what you’re thinking of? Well then I have to disappoint you because touring is never as exciting as you thought. Do you know what my main problem was when I was on tour in the last weeks? I missed you! I missed my girlfriend!” he said while walking to his house. I was freezing right in front of his car. I didn’t follow him to the door. “I missed you! Can you dig it? But seems that my girlfriend only thinks about with whom her boyfriend could hook up on tour! Well thanks for your faith in me!” he screamed and opened the door. He looked at me with a confused face as if he didn’t know what to do next or what to say. “Well, uhm….I think….I guess I will sleep at home tonight” I said and turned around to leave the driveway. Josh didn’t stop me so when I arrived at the streets my tears were running down my face. I took out my phone and called my brother who picked me up and drove me home.

When I arrived at my small flat I burst into tears. I couldn’t believe what just happened. It was the biggest fight Josh and I ever had. Sure discussions belonged to a relationship but I didn’t think that this would be fixed easily again. I never saw him so angry and so furious. He was such a different person than the Josh I knew. I could understand him and his arguments but I had the feeling that he didn’t get my stance. He didn’t see my feelings and my insecurities. It wasn’t easy for me to trust someone so I always questioned everything although I knew that it was wrong.

When I was with Steve no one was interested in him – at least I didn’t know it. He wasn’t famous and there weren’t any girls who were screaming at him when he was playing the guitar. There weren’t any girls at a party or after concerts who were flirting with him in the hope he would hook up with them. Who even does this? But Josh’s life was different. He was in the center of attention on stage. He was a famous musician if not as famous as Anthony, Flea or Chad. But he was recognized by many, many people. There were many people who liked him as a musician. I was happy for him but I guess I couldn’t handle this situation. I knew that I had to work on it but it wasn’t easy for me. After Steve cheated on me I completely lost my trust and faith in people especially men. Although Josh disabused and convinced me that there were men who were different than Steve I couldn’t be cool with it. I was jealous and I didn’t even know why and how I could stop it. I freaked out because of every little detail. I didn’t even want to know with how many girls Josh hooked up before. But I felt jealousy all over me. I didn’t know why. When did I become such a jealous girlfriend?

I couldn’t really sleep that night instead I kept thinking about our fight over and over again. But I must’ve fallen asleep in the early morning because when I woke up it was already noon. I checked my phone but Josh didn’t call or text me. Why should he do it I asked myself? I got up and showered. Finally I felt more like a human being again. I went to my balcony and looked out on the streets. The first time since I moved in here I recognized the houses and trees down at the street. I saw some skyscrapers and could watch people walking down the streets. The sun was shining and it was the best weather for a sunny day at the beach. Not too hot and not too cold anymore. But I felt nothing. The only thing I noticed was that I felt home again. After three weeks back in L.A. I finally felt home again. I didn’t know why. Was it because of the sun which shined directly into my face? Or was it because of the skyscrapers I saw? Was it because of the smog or because of the music I heard coming from downstairs? L.A. was different than Berlin. It was different because it was my home. The city I lived in for like 28 years, where I went to school and studied, where my family lived and where I’ve met most of my boyfriends, I felt home here.

After some philosophical thoughts I took my phone and called Marc. I had to talk with someone about my fight with Josh last night. So he knocked at my door one hour later. I made margaritas and we sat down at my balcony, enjoyed the sun and talked.

I told Marc what happened last night. He listened to me very carefully. “Seems like Josh doesn’t understand your jealousy and to be honest Eileen, me neither” he said when I finished telling him about my fight with Josh. “I know and I’m so sorry….I know I overacted” “He’s right. You have trust him. No matter how many girls or women he meets on tour….he loves you and he doesn’t want any other women” “Yes but….Marc, it isn’t easy for me” “I know. It’s because you lost your faith in people. But Eileen, you have to relearn it. You don’t have to trust every stranger you just met. But Josh is no stranger. He’s your boyfriend and you have to trust him” “You’re right…” “If I would be him and I would get to know that my girlfriend doesn’t trust me I would be disappointed too.” “But he was so furious and so angry…I’ve never seen him like this before. He was a complete different person” “He was mad and felt kind of rejected I guess” “Could be….but don’t you think it’s my right to know who Chloe really is? I mean she talked about hooking up with him!” “Maybe I don’t share your opinion because I’m a guy but…no to me it wouldn’t be important to know who she is. Do you know why?” “Why?” “Because she seems to be history. That’s why. I don’t want to know about every guy Maggie dated. So I wouldn’t want to know it. But I’m not you” “I’m a woman, I want to know it. I guess that’s in our nature” “Maybe it is….” “You and Josh, did you ever have a guy talk?” I wanted to know. “Guy talk? What do you mean?” “Well….talking about girls and all this stuff. I mean you were painting my kitchen and you chilled together” “But we didn’t talk about girls” Marc laughed. “Why should I talk about girls with my sister’s boyfriend?” “I don’t know…because you’re men” “Yes but men don’t always talk about girls” “Hmmm….It was just a suggestion” “But what he did tell me was that he is very happy with you and that he hasn’t felt this happy for a very long time. So Eileen, little sis, please go and apologize. Talk about it!” “He did really say this?” “Yes he did” “Well….okay” I couldn’t hide that I felt happy to hear these words but I also knew that the talk wouldn’t be easy. But he was right I should talk to Josh and explain me. I would drive to his house tomorrow because I knew that today he had rehearsals with the Dots.

“But, little sis, how’s life back in L.A.? Are you happy being back home?” “Are you happy?” “I’m totally happy!” Marc smiled. “Me too. You always notice how much your hometown means to you and how much you love it when you’re far away for a longer time” “Exactly!” “When I was in Berlin I missed the little things of L.A. I didn’t really miss the weather or the beach. Instead I sometimes missed the unhealthy food, the traffic, the nice American people. People in Berlin can be very grumpy” I laughed. “I missed Echo Park although Berlin Friedrichshain was a good alternative” “I missed the people and I missed my family when I lived down under” Marc revealed. “Really? You never told me” “I know….you know, I’m not the best in speaking about emotions” “Well, then you could join team Josh Klinghoffer. He isn’t good in speaking about emotions either” “Good to know” “But why didn’t you ever tell us that you missed us? Mom was always wondering if you miss us or if you’ve already forgot about us because you never called” “I’m so sorry. I always wanted to call but then I would’ve told you about Noel but I didn’t want to do it on the phone….urgh….it was a very complicated time” “Hmmm….okay” “But now I’m here, you’re here. We’re finally reunited which is great. We’re both in a lucky relationship!” “Well I don’t know if I’m still….” ”EILEEN!” Marc shouted at me. “Stop saying these crappy things!” “Sorry” “Well” Marc sighed after we drank another margarita. “We should visit grandma, she arrived here yesterday and I think she’d like to see us”

So we drove to our parent’s house to welcome our grandma. She was not only surprised to see us, she even started crying when she saw Marc. The two didn’t see each other for six years so they hugged for a very long time. My mom made coffee and we sat down in the garden. My parents’ garden was very big and had a small pond, many beautiful flowers and a place for barbecue. As a kid I always felt happy to play in the garden with my friends and later I celebrated some birthday parties here.

We talked for a while and grandma told us what she has planned to visit during the three weeks of her vacation here in California. I suggested that I could join her on some of the trips she planned to do. She smiled at me and agreed. Then she added “And maybe Josh can join us too? You two are still dating, right?” I laughed. It was so cute how my 89 year old grandma used the word “dating”. “Yeah, we’re still a couple. Sure I can ask him but he’s very busy at the moment” “What does he do?” “He’s touring with the band” “Oh really? So he’s far away right now?” Well, he was in the same city but in our relationship we were very far away I thought. “He is….like every two weeks” “Oh no Eileen, sweetheart, I’m sorry to hear that. So you miss him?” “Of course” “But it’s always a great pleasure when you finally see each other again after a while living apart from each other” my granny laughed. “If you know what I mean.” “Mom!” my mother interrupted shocked. “What’s wrong Sabine? It’s just the truth. When your father and I were living apart from each other because of his work we always loved the moment when we finally met again!” she told us. “We had a lot of fun!” she giggled. My mom was still piqued by what grandma told us. But I thought it was very cool to have a grandma that speaks so open and free about her relationship with our grandpa. “I mean…Eileen, you two do have fun when Josh finally comes home, right?” I couldn’t say anything else so I just laughed. “I should coco!” she grinned. “Josh is a cute guy! I’d hit him” “GRANNY!!!” I shouted. Well now I was the one who reacted shocked. “Just kidding. I’m too old I guess” she laughed. “But he’s a good boy! He makes you happy and that is the most important thing, am I right?” she looked to my mother. “Yes…sure” my mother answered reserved. The fact that her mother liked Josh didn’t please her. But the way my granny talked about Josh and me brought me back to the thought that I had to talk to him. I was scared. I was wondering what he was doing at the moment. Maybe he was still in their rehearsal room. He often was the last one leaving it. But maybe he was out to have some drinks with the guys? Or he was home alone watching some stupid film. My mother brought a wine and opened it. We enjoyed the last sunbeams in the garden until the sun set.

The next morning I woke up with headache. Ouch. That was too much wine last night. After my parents and granny went to bed Marc and I stayed outside, drinking wine and talking. I missed talking to my brother like that. We didn’t do it in the last years so we had to make up for lost times. He told me about his time in Australia and his first weeks back in California and that he really loved Maggie. It made me happy to see my brother feeling so good about his life. His little family made him the luckiest man in Los Angeles I guess. Conversely I told him the whole story about Steve and my break up and how hard it was to get over it. “But now you’ve a new guy by your side who is a good catch – according to our grandma – so don’t mess it up and talk to him” “I’ll do it” I remembered our conversation from last night. So after sleeping in my old nursery room and drinking some coffee – my parents didn’t drink tea so I had to take coffee – I took a shower and went back home. Before heading to Josh’s house I thought about what I wanted to tell him. The only thing that came to my mind was that I loved him. So I got in the car and drove to El Sereno.

I was very nervous when I knocked on his door. I didn’t even know if he was there but his car was in the driveway so I thought he was. Maybe he was still asleep? Well it was already noon so I didn’t think he was still in bed. But you never know. Josh was such a slugabed. Sure I had a key but I didn’t want to open the door because I didn’t even know if he wanted me there. So I knocked. After quite some time Josh opened the door. He wore jogger pants, a t-shirt and flip flops. It looked quite….sexy. “Hey” I said. “I thought you have a key” was the first thing that came out of his mouth. “Yes, but I didn’t know if….if you want me to be here” I said quietly. Josh looked as if he would say “Well, you know the answer by yourself so why did you knock on the door instead of using the key”. “Josh” I called his name because he was walking away to his living room. But when I called his name he stopped. “Can we talk?” He sighed and turned around. “We should”. I was relieved that he conformed to me about having a talk.

We stayed in his corridor. Well there could be better places to discuss your relationship than in a cold corridor but I didn’t care. “I want to apologize” I said. “Aha” now he was the one pretending to do a German accent. “I’m very sorry…I know I overreacted and I feel so terrible” “Mhm you’re right” he said without looking at me. Instead he leaned against the door frame of his living room. “I behaved like shit….I was so jealous and interrogated about every little detail of your past. I know it was childish and unnecessary and I know I have to work on it. I do. I promise I do.” “Oh…you changed your mind very quickly” he noticed. “Whence?” I liked it when he used these unusual words. It was typical for Josh. But he was still so pissed off that I wanted to punch him because of his behaviour. How can someone be so ignorant?

“I talked with Marc….we had a very deeply talk last night and he convinced me that I was totally wrong with my behaviour. I’m sorry Josh, honestly” I explained. “So you didn’t come up with it on your own?” he said in an arrogant voice. “Interesting” he crossed his arms and finally looked me in the eyes. I hated him for his behaviour but at the same time he made me nervous. “Sure I did come up with it before….but Marc was the one who told me that I behaved like shit. I never was so jealous before. I don’t know why I became such a jealous girlfriend. I never meant to be someone like that.” “Sometimes people change” he said in this typical philosophical Josh-voice and sighed. It seemed as if he calmed down a bit. Sometimes he behaved like a sulky woman. “I promise I’ll never ask you something about your past anymore unless you tell me of your own accord.” “You can ask me anything but stop being so jealous” Josh said looking into my eyes. “I know…I’m sorry” I sighed.

My mind was going crazy. Josh was so uncommunicative that it made me angry but I stopped it. I didn’t want to ruin everything. So I asked “Do you have something to say?” First he only looked me in the eyes but he couldn’t stand my gaze. But after some moments of silence between us he started speaking. “It’s okay” I was confused. This was all he had to say? Did he even say this? “So….we don’t fight anymore?” I asked carefully. “No we don’t unless you want to” he chuckled. “I definitely don’t want to fight with you!” I let him know. “I hate fighting with you.” he said. “Me too!” So he took my hand and pulled me closer to him to kiss me. Maybe it was the best kiss in a very long time. Not because all the other kisses before were bad but because I was relieved that we’ve discussed it.

We went into his living room and although we stopped arguing Josh seemed still a bit mad. “Is something wrong?” “Uhm, why do you ask?” “Because you’re still looking pissed off” “Hm….” “The boys?” “How do you know?” “Because I know you!” I said to him. “What’s wrong?” “Jonathan and I had a discussion yesterday because we didn’t agree on one part of a song and yeah it went a bit out of control and in the end he left and I was in the rehearsal room until midnight and later got drunk all by myself” “Really?” I asked him and he nodded. “Oh well…I guess you will sort it out” ”I don’t know. We had so many discussions in the last months. I have the feeling that no one understands my point of view, my creativity. Jonathan often wants to change some lyrics but I don’t want them to be changed….well, maybe sometimes, but most of the time I don’t want to change them. These are my words and I have to sing them so I should feel the words, don’t you think?” his eyes stared at me. “Yes, they should” “But it’s like the others don’t understand me” “Hm, but it’s also their band. What about making democratic decisions?” “I don’t know how this should help us….I mean, Clint and Eric say that I should write the lyrics and they don’t want to discuss them because they think I should feel comfortable with it. They only help me if I ask them. It always worked. But Jonathan wants to discuss so many details. I mean, sometimes I don’t even know what I want to say with the lyrics. It’s just…what comes out of my mind. It’s just art” “It is!” I said and smiled at him. He smiled back at me and I think I’ve missed his smile so much although it was only two days. “Hmmm…sorry I’m kind of depressed at the moment” Josh sighed. “Oh no….” I kissed him on the cheek. “I don’t want you to be mad” I kissed him on the other cheek. “I don’t want you to feel bad or sad or whatever negative emotion you can feel” and finally I kissed his lips. They were so soft but at the same time I felt his beard stubbles. “You know what?” I asked him. “No….what?” “You should never ever gonna do a clean shave” “Really?” “Yes!” I grinned and we continued kissing. While we were still kissing we bumped to his couch. “Let’s forget about the last two days, okay?” Josh grinned at me between our kisses. It didn’t take us very long until we took off our clothes. I think we both wanted to feel each other again. Maybe it was a cliché that we didn’t even discussed our problem very deeply but agreed that everything was fine again just to start making out five minutes later.

“I like make-up sex” I grinned at Josh. We were lying on his couch, my head on his chest. His arm covered me and I think I never felt so close to him like in this moment. I felt his heart beating. “I think we unlocked a new level” Josh joked. “What? A new sex level?” “I guess” he grinned and before I could say anything he kissed me. He always did it. “It was good” I agreed. “But I guess there are a few more levels left, don’t you think?” “Maybe” he grinned. “Oh by the way, did you see my phone?” “Yeah, it’s on the floor” Josh said and gave it to me. It must’ve fallen to the floor while we went a bit crazy earlier. “Oh no, it’s 4am already!” I yelled. “I have to go!” “What….why do you have to go?” Josh asked me confused. “Because my grandma asked me to pick her up from this museum tour she attended” “Oh okay….but you don’t have to leave right now, don’t you?” “Well…I guess so” I said and got up from the couch. I collected my clothes from the floor and went into the bathroom. When I came back Josh was still lying on the couch typing on his phone. “Do you wanna come with me?” “Uhm, sure but what about your grandma?” “She loves you! Actually she asked me when she’s gonna see you again” I laughed. “Oh really?” “Yes!” I said “She really likes you” “And I like her!” he smiled and pulled me closer. “And I love her grand daughter!” he whispered and kissed me. “I love you too JK!” “Oh don’t say these two letters” Josh laughed. “I hate it” “Stop hating you and start loving you, okay?” “Well…I love you, isn’t this enough?” “No!” “Well…” “So if you wanna see my grandma again then we have to hurry up now. Let’s go!” I pulled Josh from the couch and he disappeared for a few minutes until he came back smiling and smelling good. We went to my car. “Does my hair look messy?” “No” Josh laughed and then started ruffling it. “Well now it does” “Arghhhhhh!”

We drove to the Natural History Museum where my grandma was already waiting for me. “There you are!” she shouted at me when she saw us leaving the car. I hugged her and she started grinning at Josh and hugged him, too. “How was the museum?” I wanted to know. She looked at us. “Did you just have sex?” WHAT???? Josh and I looked at each other with shocked faces. “Haha, just kidding. Let’s get in the car, I want to have some coffee!” she laughed. We followed her without saying anything. “So I’m very happy to see you again Josh!” my grandma said to him when we had some delicious cheesecake.“Me too Elisabeth!” he smiled at her. “It’s really cool that you decided to visit your family here in Los Angeles. When was the last time you were here?” “Well…I guess it was nine years ago when I celebrated my 80th birthday here in California” she told him. “This is a long time” Josh noticed. “Yes….it is. I wished my family would live closer to my home. At least my other grandchildren live in Germany” “But granny, you always told us that we’re your favourite grandchildren” I stated. “Yes and that’ right!” she grinned. “The others are a little bit snobbish”. “Granny!” I laughed at her but she shrugged her shoulders. “I’m 89 years old, I underwent so many things in life. I’m allowed to say that!” she told us. “So Josh, you’re touring at the moment?” “Yes…well not right now. But yes our tour continues in a few weeks. We’re away for two weeks, then two weeks back home and then again two weeks touring” he explained to her. “Sounds very organized” “It is! I can tell you when I’ll be in L.A. this year and when not. It’s good to know” “It is!” she put another piece of her cheesecake in her mouth. “You know, I want to see your band playing live!” she suddenly said. Josh and I both looked at each other. We couldn’t believe what she has just said. “Really granny? It’s very loud!” I warned her. “Tzz, I don’t care anymore. I’m old. What should happen to my ears?” “I mean…it can be very stressful. Because of your heart disease or…” ”Leeny” she always called me like this when she wanted to explain something. “I might be an old lady but I want to have some fun as long as I can!” “I know….” “But we don’t play in California in the next weeks or months” Josh told her. “Anywhere near Cali?” “Granny, do you really want to travel to another state just to see Josh playing?” “You did the same when you went to New Orleans or New York, right?” Well….there she had me. “Maybe Vegas?” she grinned. “Granny….Vegas is” I started saying but Josh interrupted me. “Actually we do play in Vegas in two weeks” “Sounds great! Leeny, you know what to do!”

I was so happy that I could spend so much time with my granny in the following weeks. When I came home from work we often went to museums or had some coffee and some good conversations. I really missed seeing her, talking to her and spending time with her. Maybe it was a bit late but finally Marc and I had the opportunity to spend time with our grandma. As kids it was always a bit disappointing when our friends told us about their grandparents and how they’ve spent their weekend with them. We never did it because our grandparents lived in Germany. There were only our parents and us living in L.A. It wasn’t easy to handle it sometimes. But our parents tried to stay in contact with our family in Germany. We often phoned with them, sent letters and they tried to manage that we could visit them at least once a year. Often it was during the holidays in winter but sometimes we flew over to Germany in the summer. I had some good memories from my summer vacations there.

So I was very thankful that my grandma was with us here in L.A. She even met little Noel who made her cry when she saw him for the first time. She wasn’t only a grandmother, now she was also a great-grandmother. Sometimes Josh joined us and we showed her the city. I noticed that granny liked Josh so much. I often just watched them talking and making jokes. She always made fun of his clothes but at the same time she mentioned how she likes his individual style. They were such a dream team. One day Josh decided that our grandmothers should meet each other! So we went with both of them to a café and he was right, they really liked each other. I guess it was the first time in years that my granny had someone her age to whom she could talk to. After my granddad’s death she only had some few friends who were still living in Cologne. But now that everyone passed away she often felt lonely. She didn’t tell me. She was too proud to admit it. But I knew it.

So when I asked her the other day if we should go to the theatre on the weekend she said she already had a date with Josh’s grandma Adelaide. Well I was very surprised but at the same time very happy that she seemed to have a good time here.

In between time I decided that it was time to look for a car. I couldn’t drive my brother’s car forever so I should buy me an own car. I went to many car dealers and looked what I could afford. But it was disillusioning. Most of the cars I liked were too expensive. The others were already too old and not really safe to drive with. One day Josh joined me. We went to a shop in El Sereno but didn’t find a car that I liked. On our way back home we made a last stop at the car dealer where I saw the car I fell in love with. It was a dark red Ford. It was three years old. I really liked it but I couldn’t afford it. “Maybe we should talk to the salesman. Just to get some information” Josh said. “No….I mean why? It’s too much” “But….I’ll talk to him” Josh said and disappeared in the office. I waited outside because I didn’t see any chance to finance the car by myself. After a few minutes Josh and the guy came back and he showed us every little detail of the car and made us an offer. “Sorry to say that but it’s just too much for me. I can’t afford it” I said. The guy looked at Josh. “Honey, we find a solution. I could buy it for you” “What? No, you won’t buy it! You already bought my TV!” The guy watched us arguing. “Yes but….look” he said and we went a few steps away from the guy. “You want to have the car, am I right?” I nodded. “So, what about me buying the car for you” “No….no Josh. It’s….no I don’t want that!” I denied loudly. “But….come one Eileen, the car is perfect for you” “Yes. It might be perfect. But it’s also too expensive” Josh sighed. “I’d like to buy it for you” “I appreciate that but….I can’t accept it” “Why?” “Because it’s too much!” I went back to the salesman. “Sorry but….we can’t buy the car. But thanks for your time!”

Later that week Josh picked me up from work. He was standing right in front of my school in Pasadena. He started smiling when he saw me and I kissed him. “How was work?” “Stressful but now it’s already Friday so everything’s fine!” I grinned and we went to his car – well at least I thought he drove here with his car. “Do we have to walk home?” “No, why?” Josh asked without any facial expression. “So, where’s your car?” “I didn’t come with my own car” he said and we walked a few metres. Finally he went to a red car. I stopped. “Josh….is it what I think it is?” “Yes” he grinned at me. “But…why…no….you didn’t buy it! Tell me you didn’t!” “Well….I guess I did” he was still grinning and couldn’t stop. “Here’s the key to your new car Eileen!” “You didn’t do that….say you didn’t” I repeated my words. “I did. This is for you. Consider it as a gift” “Thanks….” I said and I opened the car. “But I can’t take it. Can I pay you back?” I asked him. “Eileen!” Josh laughed. “Can I pay by installments?” I asked and suddenly Josh stopped laughing. “Eileen” he said. “Just shut your mouth and drive the car, okay?”

I still didn’t know how to handle the fact that Josh bought me the car. I didn’t know how to thank him and I was still thinking about paying him back but he kind of resisted it. “I still can’t believe Josh bought you the car” my grandma was also very surprised when we were on our way to Las Vegas. Josh made it come true and gave us tickets for their show. So my grandma and I started our little road trip to Vegas. It was the first show of their next tour leg so afterwards Josh would be away on tour for the next two weeks. “He’s such a nice guy” my granny smiled. “And you should take the gift. I mean, he really wanted to give it to you otherwise he wouldn’t have bought the car and come to your school with it” Maybe she was right. Maybe I should take it. But I didn’t want to feel like one of these material girls who wanted to brag about how much money her boyfriend earns.

After nearly five hours we finally arrived in Vegas. We directly drove to their hotel. Josh managed that we could stay there. When my granny entered the luxury hotel she was completely blown away. “Wow….this can’t be real” she marveled. “I’ve never seen something so beautiful and luxurious like this before” An employee of the hotel welcomed us and after a few minutes he showed us our room. Well originally it was my grandma’s room because I would stay in Josh’s room. “This here” my granny said while pointing at the giant room we were standing in. “Is it all for me? This room? I mean….look at the balcony, look at the living room….is there a living room in my hotel room? How cool is that? And the bathroom!” she made a tour through her home for the next night. She still couldn’t believe it. “Well Leeny….now I know what you mean. How should we thank Josh?”

We spent the rest of the day walking through Vegas marvelling. We went to the Vegas sign to make a picture and afterwards went to see the Bellagio fountains and the Hotel Venetian. It was very hot outside so we went back to our hotel to get some rest and have some cool drinks. My grandma was completely impressed by the city although she also mentioned that she didn’t like the idea of synthetic cities in the desert.

Finally we went to the arena for the show. Josh gave us the best seats he could get. My grandma was completely blown away when we sat down at our seats and took a look around in the arena. “Wow, it’s unbelievable. You know I once saw Elvis Presley live and it was incredible. But I never saw something like that before! Look at all these people! They all want to see Josh and his band!” “Well…I guess most of them don’t come because of Josh” I laughed. “But you’re right. It’s very great” “It must be a weird feeling being on stage playing music and thousands of people cheer at you!” “It is I guess…” “It’s interesting that Josh plays in such a famous band in front of so many people every night but at the same time he’s such a shy guy” “He has two sides. The on-stage-Josh and the off-stage-Josh” “Who do you like the most?” “Both” I said laughing. “Well….the off-stage-Josh is the guy I prefer the most because I spend most of the time with him”. “Sweetie, you’re so happy with him. Everyone sees it and it’s so great. You have to keep him! Don’t let him go and don’t screw it up, okay?” “I won’t…” “You two would have so beautiful children!” she smiled. “Another great-grandchild” “Granny….stop putting so much pressure on me!” “Just saying….you two would’ve beautiful children” “Could be….” “Don’t you wanna have kids?” “Sure” I answered and thought about Josh’s and mine conversation from a few weeks earlier. “But not now I guess. I mean Josh and I don’t know each other that long” “Doesn’t matter. Either it’s the right one or not” she told me in her wise voice. Well I couldn’t tell her that Josh and I probably won’t have kids in the next years so I just smiled.

While my granny was talking to some people who were sitting next to us I checked my phone right before the show. Well I guess I shouldn’t have done it. When I opened Facebook there were two messages by some strangers. They all wrote the same.

“Hey, are you Josh Klinghoffer’s girlfriend?”

“Hi, I don’t know you and I’m sorry to ask you but are you Josh Klinghoffer’s gf?”

What the fuck?

I didn’t know why these people thought about me being his girlfriend. I checked my social media accounts. Maybe it could give me a hint? After some minutes I kind of found the answer I guessed. There were some pictures of Josh and me from the Lakers game. Someone linked me on it on Facebook and I didn’t notice it because I didn’t check Facebook regularly. And I didn’t change my options. So everyone could link me on a picture. Well Eileen, perfectly I thought. Good job! “What do you do with your phone?” my grandma asked me. “Uhm, just checking some mails” “Stop surfing in the internet, Leeny, concentrate on reality!” she reminded me and she was right. I put my phone away and stopped thinking about some fans who might have found out about Josh and me. But if so…who cares? They could know it. I shouldn’t care, right?

The lights went off and the show began. I already knew their light and stage show but it was always a great pleasure seeing these four guys on stage. My granny laughed and clapped her hands and even started dancing for a little while when they played “Maggie”. She laughed at Josh’s crazy movements on stage and cheered at him when he sang a short solo cover of “I Want To Hold Your Hand” by The Beatles. “He’s just a talented guy!” she screamed while clapping her hands. After the show we stayed at our seats for a while and watched the crew removing the stage. “What a great show! Your boyfriend is the best!” she grinned and put her arms around me. “We should thank him, don’t you think?” “Yes of course!” I said and took her hand to get through the arena to the backstage area.

I was welcomed by Claire who was surprised to see my granny as my date. “How great is that? 89? Wow!” she said while shaking hands with my grandma. She led us through the backstage area and told Josh that we were there. A few minutes later Josh welcomed us and my grandma couldn’t stop marvelling about the show. She couldn’t stop showering him with compliments because of the show. She was like their biggest fan tonight. Josh told the other guys to join us and so my granny talked with Anthony, Flea and Chad and even took a picture with them. When Chad showed her the selfie mode in his phone she was completely impressed and wanted to make a selfie with Josh and me. So we did. Chad also asked her if he can upload their selfie on social media to show how cool their “old” fans are. My granny agreed and she joked around with the guys. We left the arena together with Josh and before heading back to our hotel we went to see the Bellagio Fountain again – but we didn’t stay at the hotel. While we were standing there, watching the fountains my granny said to us “It was a great evening. I’m so happy at the moment. I wish I could’ve enjoyed it with your granddad but I couldn’t. We always wanted to go to Vegas. But we never did. But now, 60 years later I was here with my granddaughter to see her lovely boyfriend playing a concert in Vegas. I still can’t believe it. Thank you Josh, thank you Eileen. It was one of the greatest nights in my life!” she hugged both of us. I couldn’t stop my tears that were running down my face. Granny didn’t see it but Josh did. He smiled at me and wiped them away with his fingers. I guess he knew that I wasn’t crying because I was sad. It just broke my heart to hear that my granny seems to miss her husband every day since his death twenty years ago.

“Why were you crying earlier at the fountains?” Josh asked me when we were laying in the hotel bed. “I don’t know….I guess it just made me cry to see my grandma being so happy. But at the same time it broke my heart to know that she misses my granddad ever since he passed away. You know…as a kid you don’t think about it. I was seven when he died. I only saw him a few times. I grow up with my grandma being alone. It was completely normal for me. I never thought about the fact that she misses him every day. You always think time will heal but I guess some wounds can’t heal.” “But she was very happy today” Josh noticed. “Yes but….you know….she doesn’t show it. I guess she’s very lonely sometimes. Imagine, she was living with her husband for 40 years and then he died. What would you do?” “I don’t know….I….I don’t want to know it. I don’t want to think about it. I don’t wanna lose you” he said in a very thoughtful voice and looked me deeply in the eyes. “Neither do I” I said and kissed him. ___________ “Sun comes up Gives me a hug Tellin me not to move too much We've got all the time we need And our plans to succeed What I never dare to say I'm pretty sure you know it anyway Soothe me everyday”

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#rhcp #rhcp fanfic #josh klinghoffer #josh klinghoffer fanfic #red hot chili peppers #red hot chili peppers fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic #dot hacker

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spleenvent · 7 years

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The Great Reality TV Swindle: One of the craziest stories I have seen on television.

If you managed to clap your eyes on my piece about televangelism (if you haven’t, then... well, please do :)), you will have seen how fascinated I am about the powers of persuasion in us human beings, if not necessarily to use those assets for the right reasons.

Writing that blog made me think of other examples, with one in particular worming its way through the memory vault, and what I still think is one of the most bizarre stories I have seen on screen. I remember watching it and questioning in my mind whether this was completely genuine or not. Thankfully, it is on YouTube (complete with ads from 2002 for added nostalgia bonus), and now nearly 15 years since it was aired, it compelled me to watch again from start to finish.

It’s a cautionary tale of the attempts of a fantasist to turn his dreams into reality. He managed to persuade others with similar aspirations, into giving up their livelihoods for a project with its foundations built on quicksand, sucking everyone in, including himself, and leaving them all with nothing.

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Reality TV. How fly-on-the-wall became a television beast.

At the dawn of this century the medium of Reality TV was megalithic. Endemol created a monster with Big Brother that was sold all over the planet, I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here was a ratings winner, and Pop Idol catapulted a politics graduate from Wokingham to singing stardom.

TV production companies were eager to devise the next sure-fire hit, whilst average Joes and Josephine’s, seeking the opportunity for maybe more than their fifteen minutes of fame, were keen to get involved in their droves.

A glut of programmes were commissioned, with generally plenty more misses than hits. For instance, a concept like Shattered, where people were in a Big Brother style situation for a week but could not sleep, was well meaning but never really going to merit a second series. Another example was Bedsitcom, where people moved into a flat which in reality was a TV show set, and their housemates were actors putting them in uncompromising situations. It was a crass failure of a programme, all the more surprising seeing how it had Sam Bain and Jesse Armstrong, the creators of Peep Show, and the Gibbons brothers who have revitalised Alan Partridge in recent years, in its roster of writers.

Nevertheless, one young, flamboyant and ambitious producer was convinced he had a smash on his hands. He had devised a concept where people would “take money on at its own game, and win.”

Nik Russian of Nik Russian Productions set about looking for contestants, putting adverts in publications such as The Stage for an audition. The plucky hopefuls were gathered at Ravens Ait, a swish corporate entertainments venue on an island in the Thames.

Russian split the wannabes into teams, and gave them all a task. Come back to the venue with a cake, made completely from scratch. The teams went out and knocked on doors asking members of the public to help them out, and found some generous souls willing to rustle up what they needed.

Given the fun and challenging task which took quite a lot of gumption to pull off, the successful candidates were overjoyed to hear they would be taking part in the show, which Russian had intriguingly codenamed Project MS-2. They gave up their jobs, living arrangements and some even finished relationships. But this was all going to be worth it for their shot at fame. I mean, the biggest regret you can have is doing nothing, right? (SPOILER ALERT!)

Reality bites.

Following big leaving parties and saying goodbye to family and friends, the contestants headed down to London, to discover just what they were in for. But rather than a fun task, they would be met with a shock. The premise of the show was, in any way which was legal, make one million pounds in one year. Their first task of the week was to find accommodation, for free, despite being promised in a contract that food and a place to live would be provided.

Realising something was terribly wrong with the idea, two teams disbanded and left. However, one team’s cameraman (all camera operators were trainee volunteers by the way) had access to a flat, so they all stayed in there to decide what direction to take next, and to demand a meeting with Russian to find out what the hell was going on.

When they met with Russian, they were stunned to find out that there was basically no show at all. There was no commission, no sponsors, nothing. Russian blathered on about sales and marketing teams, but it was highly likely these did not exist, like the fantasy in his own mind.

Russian’s true identity revealed.

Through a twist of fate, a chat with one of the cameraman’s friends discovered the true reality of Nik Russian. Real name... Keith Anthony Gillard. It turned out he was not a TV producer at all, but a sales assistant in a branch of Waterstones. He had also given that job up and his own accommodation, and then bizarrely turned up at the contestants’ place of refuge as he had inadvertently made himself homeless in the whole process.

They took him in, but not without hatching a plan to expose him and his actions. Tipping off ITV News London, they locked Russian in the flat until a film crew and journalist were let in. Russian did give an interview, but tried to play the victim, rather selfishly talking about his own hardships from this, over the 30 people whose lives he had forced to change to chase his pipe-dream.

Their TV appearance the next day on London Tonight gave the contestants a small sliver of fame. However, the hope anything would come of it would soon dissipate. The team would eventually disband and try and rebuild their lives, but not before contestant Debbie Driver contacted an independent TV company, Christmas TV, about making the documentary about their remarkable story.

As a result, even more investigations into Nik Russian found his web of lies had entangled his friends and his own mother in the whole mess. It was revealed that the audition’s clinical psychologist was his girlfriend who had no experience in that field, and the upmarket location it was staged at was blagged for free in exchange for promised publicity when the series was to air.

Still wanting answers, contestant Daniel managed to track Russian down to a house in Richmond-Upon-Thames, but Russian would still play the victim schtick. Daniel, who came across as a level headed guy up until this confrontation, said to Russian that he was resisting the urge to punch him.

Time to get my amateur psychologist hat on!

It would be easy to label these people as fame-hungry, but when reality TV was booming, a programme like Big Brother had its fair share of people who were encouraged by the experience rather than any perks it brought afterwards. Big Brother held some status as a social experiment in its early series, and had some very affable people in it, until it went down the “we need to shove as many twats in as possible to create scandal for ratings” path.

It could be said these people were gullible too, but one of the key aspects of this whole story was the audition. It went almost too well. For me, I was reminded, albeit loosely, of the Milgram experiment. Not necessarily the premise of that experiment, but how it was set out. The Milgram experiment looked into how far people would go in obeying an instruction if it involved harming another person, in that case through the medium of electric shock. People were told by an “experimenter” to administer powerful electric shocks to someone in another room, through a generator, which was actually fake. They would be told to increase these shocks and continued to do so despite hearing feigned screams from the room next door.

These “experimenters” were decked out in lab coats and held clipboards. They looked the part and therefore could have authority. Russian got his girlfriend with no psychology experience to hold a clipboard and act as if she was one. It’s amazing how just holding a device or wearing something that looks like a uniform can give you an air of authenticity. The camera operators were not professionals either, but they had cameras and looked the part. Russian worked in a book shop, and was not a TV producer, but had the charisma to convince people he was the head honcho in this show. Add the task he set into the mix, which to give him credit was an excellent idea, and also the location, and you’ve got something rather convincing. It epitomises the fake-it-til-you-make-it nature of Russian’s whole escapade.

The success of the audition however was merely papering over the massive cracks in his bid to make a reality series, and I think it made him even more complacent. It is almost as if he thought everything would magically come together afterwards, but it was an astonishingly speculative idea that in the end was just a husk. The main bulk of reality TV shows have two things in common, an elimination process, and an endgame... a prize, a job, etc. Russian’s had no elimination process, and the endgame was you earned your own prize money. No wonder the TV producer he tried to get on board seemed completely baffled with the concept.

Here’s to the dreamers... (but the ones who make it a reality).

There’s nothing wrong with having a dream, people dream of being music stars, but you wouldn’t choose what genre route you wanted to go down, and arrange gigs, if you could not play an instrument. To make a dream a reality, you have to do all the things in between to make it work, the hard yards.

It would be interesting to see what has become of Nik Russian (who I doubt is still called that), and whether he learned a powerful lesson or not. You would have hoped so fifteen years on, and that his grasp of reality has considerably strengthened.

He may have not made the smash show he thought he had, spanning hours of programming and being a concept bought all over the world, but inadvertently he did find himself the centre of one hour of seriously intriguing television.

View Part Two of The Great Reality TV Swindle here

Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

#reality tv #reality television #scam #con #swindle #tv #television #tv show

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