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roxyaddams · 4 years

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Shrekstuck- A Shrek Homestuck AU

(I'm aware of how terrible this)

Okay so:

Character info!

• Fiona- Pieces (fushia blood), heiress, Knight of Life, Prospit. Shrek's matesprite. During the day, she transforms into her god teir form. (Her dream self died on the quest bed thing, like what happened with Aradia, exceot Prospit wasnt destroyed. It is unknown how her dream self died.) She uses throwing knives. Land of Rays and Fear.

• Shrek- Cancer (mutated lime blood, bottom of hemocaste), Lord of Heart, Derse. Fiona's matesprite. Shrek uses a mace. Land of Bog and Self.

• Donkey- Shrek's lusus. Eventually becomes Donkeysprite. He has the ability of speech, and others besides shrek can understand him. Dragon/Dragonsprite's matesprite (can lususi have matesprites?????? Unsure but i dont care. This is a shrek au, why are you expecting logic)

• Charming- Scorpio (Blue Blood), Derse, Prince of Time. Shrek's kismesis. Charming uses a wand given to him by fairy godmother as his weapon. Land of Oil and Waves.

• Dragon- Fiona's lusus. Eventually becomes Dragonsprite.

• Arthur- Fiona's morail, trans, Jade blood, Sylph of Hope, Prospit. Lusus died when he was little. He uses a rapier. Land of Mist and Lakes.

• Fairy Godmother- Was Charming's friend, but then died. Later becomes Fairy Godsprite

• Merlin- Sorta a parental figure to Arthur, took him in after his lusus died. Becomes Merlinsprite

Plot under the cut (if there is one bc tumblr mobile is mean)

[[MORE]]

Shrek is a mutated limeblood, and as a result, is meant to be culled on sight. To prevent the grub from being culled, his lusus, Donkey, took him to a swamp, where the imperial drones would not look. Donkey is not a normal lusus, and while he does his best to care for Shrek, he is very immature. So, most of the time Shrek was forced to hunt for food, and fight against swampbeasts to survive.

Just after Shrek turns 5 sweeps old, he is awoken to the sounds of voices outside. He ignores Donkey, and looks outside. At least 100 highbloods had set up camps in the swamp.

The antisocial troll storms out of his home, and yells, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING AT MY HIVE?"

An teal blooded grub approached the troll, and explained that a rust blood, who goes by the name of Lord Farquaad, had killed the Condense and taken the throne.

He had exiled all the highblooded trolls, and sent them to the swamp. Shrek would like for everyone to screw off, and so he and his lusus begin travelling towards the Conden- Lord Farquaad's palace.

When he arrives, the outside is barren. He goes into the castle however, and finds Lord Farquaad sitting on a throne, a line of several low bloods standing before him. Shrek sees an array of colorful blood splattered upon the walls.

"The one who brings back the hieress shall be compensated greatly," Farquaad tells the trolls.

Heiress? Why does he need her?

Shrek dismisses the thought as quickly as it came. He marches forward. "Excuse me? Are you Farquaad?"

Farquaad tilts his head in confusion. "I am. And you are?"

Shrek pauses for a moment. With the hemocaste in disarray, and a lowblood in power, he doesn't have to worry about people finding out his name. He enjoys this moment of relief, before reminding himself he is here to get his life back.

He shrugs. "I'm Shrek. And you have sent all the highbloods to live right outside my hive, and I want my swamp back!"

Farquaad was silent for a few seconds, then spoke, "Shrek, was it? I have a deal for you. If you retrieve the heiress and bring her to me, I will relocate the highbloods."

"And I can go back to the way it was before?" Shrek questioned, considering the offer.

"Down to the last slime-covered toadstool." The rustblood replied.

"Fine. I'll go find the heiress and bring her here."

*cue traveling montage of Shrek and Donkey until they reach the castle*

Shrek dons a nearby suit of armor, not knowing what to expect from the heiress.

Donkey and Shrek get separated, and Donkey encounters Fiona's lusus, Dragon. Dragon is infatuated with Donkey, and Shrek climbs to the highest room of the tallest tower.

There, he meets Fiona, the heiress to the throne.

Meanwhile, Farquaad is busy plotting. He plans to ask the heiress to be his matesprite, and announce it publicly to consolidate his power. Soon after, he would kill her, and pin it on another rustblood, leaving him as the emperor of Alternia.

Shrek and Fiona get down to the first floor of the castle. When they hear Dragon, Shrek ushers Fiona out of the castle, and he then goes to best the monstrous lusus.

(this part happens pretty much exactly how it goes down in the movie)

Shrek, Fiona, and Donkey begin their journey to Lord Farquaad's castle. Shrek and Fiona slowly become friends, and Shrek thinks he may be flushed for her.

When they are attacked by a few anarchist lowbloods, Fiona finds out Shrek's blood color. However, it does not bother her like Shrek had feared.

During the days, Donkey and Shrek set up camp while Fiona makes her own, not wanting to be near the others during the day.

On the last day of their journey, Shrek decides he is going to confess to Fiona. Meanwhile, Donkey hears some strange noises coming from Fiona's camp. He bursts in and sees her in her god tier form. He is initially confused, but she explains, saying she believes it to be some sort of mutation. She says that she believes it will be cured when she finds her matesprite. (She believes in magic) Shrek shows up and is outside Fiona's camp, and overhears her say, "But who could ever be flushed with such a disgusting mutant?"

Heartbroken and betrayed, Shrek goes to Farquaad's castle, and feturns at nightfall with Farquaad and his guard.

(The whole scene here goes down pretty similar to how it does in the movie)

Shrek storms off without Donkey, stating that Donkey never did much for him anyways.

Shrek returns to his hive, where all the highbloods have been removed.

(Cue the whole hallelujah sequence, except w/o wedding stuff)

Dragon breaks free, and finds Donkey. Shrek and Donkey reconcile, and then go to Lord Farquaad's castle.

Shrek bursts in and professes his flushed feelings for Fiona. Fiona is quiet for a few moments, and goes over to him. Farquaad is shocked, "Don't tell me you actually have feelings for that mutant!"

As he orders his guards to take Shrek away, the sun rises, and Fiona transforms into her god teir form.

Farquaad orders his soldiers to kill the mutants when Dragon shows up and eats Farquaad.

Everyone celebrates the fact that they just staged a coup. Fiona takes her place as Empress, and abolishes the whole hemocaste system, and stops all the culling.

Things begin to improve, and Shrek and Fiona are now matesprites. And they all lived happily ever after.

Until one sweep later.

With equality between the trolls, everything has seemed much better on Alternia. Most of the time, Fiona does not have to do much as Empress, and instead spends her time helping others. One day, her childhood friends (who she only talked to online) Arthur and Charming ask her if she and Shrek want to play a game that Charming found called Sgrub. Fiona and Shrek agree. None of the teens are aware of what this desicion shall bring.

Shrek enters the game first, with Fiona as his coplayer. Donkey is killed by a nearby meteor, but Shrek is able to revive him by prototyping him with his kernelsprite. He enters the Land of Twilight and Mask. His quest is to awaken the mask.

Fiona enters the game after him, Charming as her coplayer. Dragon died about half a sweep before, and Fiona prototyped the skull of the lusus. Fiona entered the Land of Rays and Fear. Here, Fiona is unable to contact anyone, and Charming can only see her, but is unable to message her at all. Her quest is to revive the dawn.

Charming enters the game next, with Arthur as his coplayer. He prototyped the ashes of his friend from when he was younger, and she becomes Fairy Godsprite. He enters the Land of Oil and Waves. His quest is to learn the waves.

Arthur is the last to enter the game, with Shrek as his coplayer. As a grub, Arthur's lusus died, and he was taken in by an older troll named Merlin. Right before Arthur entered the game, Merlin prototyped himself. Arthur enters the Land of Mist and Lakes. His quest is to release the tides.

When Fiona enters the game, she is fully god teir. The first to ascend to god teir after her was Shrek. He was injured by a Dersian named Puss. Shrek made it to his quest bed, where he collapsed and died, and then ascended to god teir.

Charming and Arthur both finished their quests early on in the session. Charming ascended to god teir before Arthur, by doing the deed himself. He then traveled to the Land of Mist and Lakes and "helped" Arthur ascend to god teir.

It took Shrek and Fiona much longer to complete their quests. Fiona completes hers last, restoring life to the planet, and clearing the sky in order to revive the dawn.

They all travel to Skaia, where they battle the Black King.

(Insert battle here)

They defeat him, and claim the ultimate prize.

(Also I'm aware that there isn't a space player, but I didn't think it really worked with any of the characters so I'm just going to say that the game provided them with a frog.)

Okay now it is done. I'm so fucking sorry for making this yall.

#shrekstuck #this is so fucking stupid #homestuck #homestuck au #shrek au #shrek and donkey #shrek #princess fiona #normally i would ignore shrek the thirds existence but it gets a pass today because i needed more characters

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