incorrect-hs-quotes

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JAKE: Imagine tiredly raiding the refrigerator at night and suddenly you just hear-

BRAIN GHOST DIRK: "You found sour milk. Foraging has increased from Lv.1 to Lv.2."

JAKE: And you never hear the noise again.

#submission #jake english #dirk strider #homestuck #incorrect quotes #incorrect homestuck quotes #You never hear it again? You must fuckin suck at foraging. #This guy's never gettin to level 3. #Mod Dash

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ROSE: I'm in lesbians with you.

KANAYA: What Do You Mean By That

#submission #homestuck #incorrect homestuck quotes #rose lalonde #kanaya maryam #She's in lesbians with you what more do you need? #Mod Dash

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— ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turingTested [TT] —

EB: hi i found items advocating violence.

EB: on your site.

TT: Hi John that’s great you can go ahead and order it.

#submission #john egbert #lil hal #hal strider #homestuck #incorrect homestuck quotes #Mod Dash

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TG: so youre french

TT: Yes.

TG: do you speak english?

TT: Are you stupid?

#submission #actual conversation that could happen in my system #our rose is french. can we get f in the replies for rose #Thanks. #yeah np #homestuck #incorrect homestuck quotes #incorrect quotes #mod dave #rose lalonde #dave strider

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VRISKA: Let's go over a few self-defense tactics in case you ever find yourself in a street fight.

VRISKA: Nipple clamp him with the nearest set of pliers and then twist his head off and jumping-Super-Man punch him to get him on the ground.

VRISKA: From here, it's a com8in8ion of three right hooks, left, right, left, right. Now, I'm not a 8rain surgeon, 8ut at 8est? That’s a fatal concussion. My personal favorite ending: taunt his dead carcass.

#submission #source: https://youtube.com/shorts/oGJfBUkRqfM?si=YwHj3lIW0df1wyrh #possibly best YouTube short ever #nods sagely. writes this down #homestuck #incorrect homestuck quotes #incorrect quotes #mod dave #vriska serket

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ROXY: drinking wine is literally so embarrassing! "omg i had a glass of grape juice and now i want to post pictures of my boobs online!!" i need to be restrained

#submission #source: @prettylesbianprincess #its ok roxy come get top surgery with me then there wont be any boobs #mother / son weekend outing 💯 #homestuck #incorrect homestuck quotes #incorrect quotes #mod dave #roxy lalonde

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FEFERI: O)(, T)(-E SW-E-ET IRONY OF )(IS D-EATH, D-ESIGN-ED FOR T)(IS LIF-E, Y-ET N-EV-ER M-EANT TO -ENDUR-E IT.

ERIDAN: wwhat happened

FEFERI: I DROPP-ED A GOLDFIS)( CRACK-ER IN T)(-E BATHTUB 38(

#submission #NOOOOOOOOOOOO #i would literally explode i love goldfish #if i dropped a flavor blasted goldfish in the water i would just collapse into one million particles and blow away in the breeze #homestuck #incorrect homestuck quotes #incorrect quotes #mod dave #feferi peixes #eridan ampora

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EQUIUS: D -> Everyone get unemployed. I will provide for us

KANKRI: I a6h9r h9w safe every9ne in the c9mments feels a69ut 6eing entirely dependant 9n a p9tentially danger9us 6enefact9r.

EQUIUS: D -> I'm nice...

NEPETA: :33 < he’s literally nice

#submission #Source: @goofstep @throughfearandtrembling and @junglejim4322 #hes literally nice see nepeta thinks so #id do it. ill become unemployed rn #homestuck #incorrect homestuck quotes #incorrect quotes #mod dave #equius zahhak #kankri vantas #nepeta leijon

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TEREZI: TURNS OUT “HOW TO S3RV3 DR4GONS” 1S NOT 4 COOKBOOK >:[

#submission #source: mr welch #homestuck #incorrect homestuck quotes #terezi pyrope #Sometimes the post editor switches back to the old one when I try to post a submission? This is one of those times. #Tumblr is a functioning website. #Mod Dash

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WV: YOU, GIRL.

WV: DO THE ESTROGEN THING.

JOHN: what?

JOHN: i don't know what that is.

JOHN: stop calling me a girl, i am a boy.

WV: YOU DON'T KNOW THAT YET.

WV: DO THE ESTROGEN THING.

#submission #[S] JUNE: AWAKEN #homestuck #incorrect homestuck quotes #incorrect quotes #mod dave #wayward vagabond #the mayor #john egbert #june egbert

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MOM: alrihgte kidoz, im tellin you your spanich test resutls!

MOM: rosey, yuo get an a+. :)

MOM: jadesy, you get a a-, you didd amayzing, but you forgort the squiggly thigns on top of some of the leters!

MOM: adn david, you turned in an emptty hamberger wraper for your test. c+.

#submission #HEY I MEAN. a c+ is GREAT for a. fucking hamburger wrapper #sorry for the absence btw i just survived finals week #homestuck #incorrect homestuck quotes #incorrect quotes #mod dave #mom lalonde #rose lalonde #jade harley #dave strider

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FEFERI: No, -Eridan, “c)(ummer” means t)(at Sollux is our frond, not that s)(arks find )(im tasty.

#Source: Mr Welch #submission #homestuck #incorrect homestuck quotes #feferi peixes #eridan ampora #mod nepeta

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EB: there’s a girl on the train knitting so aggressively and quickly that her needles clack like some sort of cartoon character and i am super intimidated.

EB: she smashed out a shawl in like 35 minutes and now she’s aggressively eating a sandwich. i can’t.

EB: that sandwich is gone. packet of chips? gone. fuel for the knitting machine she is. at it again.

#submission #john egbert #rose lalonde #(implied but) #incorrect homestuck quotes #homestuck #mod nepeta

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DAVE: you know what fuck you *unsopping wets your meow meow*

ROXY, distressed: NOOOOO

DAVE: you know what double fuck you *unrabbits your miku*

ROXY: ok thats fine actually

#submission #my bros original quoye was ‘unsampos your sampo’ but i decided to make it more inclusive #rabbit hole is a banger but it is not essential to mikuism #incorrect homestuck quotes #homestuck #dave strider #roxy lalonde #mod nepeta #//sorry ive been absent #19 credit semester and working had been kicking my ass #never minor in physics

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BRO: man why did we ever stop worshipping golden idols this shit rules

LIL CAL: IF YOU MIX SULFUR, CHARCOAL, AND SALTPETER TOGETHER YOU WILL BECOME A POWERFUL SORCERER

#source:@princess-prettyboy #homestuck #incorrect homestuck quotes #bro strider #lil cal #mod dash

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JANE: Okay Dirk, here are the rules. 

JANE: You are not allowed to chug three quarts of blue food coloring before the scheduled urine test at the doctor’s checkup.

JANE: Nor are you allowed to chug three quarts of red food coloring, and pretend to scream in agony when you get tested.

JANE: You are ALSO not allowed to threaten to kill yourself by putting pop rocks in Coca-Cola and then trying to drink it.

JANE: Similarly, putting red Mike and Ike’s candies into a prescription medicine bottle and then eating them all at once is not allowed and also not very funny.

DIRK: You guys never let me do anything cool anymore.

#submission #source: skippy’s list #Then what's the fuckign POINT! #Mod Dash #homestuck #incorrect homestuck quotes #jane crocker #dirk strider

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DAVE: everyday i wake up thankful that im not back in middle school

#submission #homestuck #incorrect homestuck quotes #dave strider #Mod Dash