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lavenderedhoney · 1 year

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Any tips on helping partners deal with gender dysphoria?

This is a tricky question because dysphoria is highly personal and can be extremely different from person to person. The number one rule is talk to the other person about their boundaries and don't make assumptions about what they want - what works well for one person could be absolutely devastating for another person.

Some basic things that I think can help anybody:

Ask what language they want used for their parts. Using the wrong language can cut deep, even if it's entirely unintentional. But using the right language isn't just about avoiding dysphoria, it can also be a huge source of euphoria. My baby exclusively calls her taint her pussy, to the point where typing the word "taint" feels objectively incorrect. I almost exclusively call my clit a dick and basically only use "clit" for clarifying purposes when I think it improves readability. It's something that can be a very small change but can be extremely effective - both of these have been absolutely huge for us. Not only does it feel better to give those parts different names, but it really helps us to think of and engage with those parts in a different/less standard and gender-affirming way when we interact with each other's bodies! Language is really fucking powerful, so use it. It might feel silly at first using the "wrong" word for a body part if you've been calling it something different your whole life, but if your partner asks for it, do it.

Compliment the parts they feel good about. This might be hard if your partner has body image problems (maybe they struggle to find any parts of their body they do like), but see if there are parts that don't feel at odds with their gender and hype those up! My girlfriend loves to talk about how broad and strong my shoulders are and how handsome she thinks my face is, and I don't necessarily believe her but it still feels incredible to hear every single time. I am literally obsessed with her tits and hips and ass and I let her know as often as I can because it sends her over the moon! Compliments like this can be a really good way to not only combat dysphoria, by taking away emphasis on parts or traits that don't feel so good, but also to give a sense of euphoria.

Directly related to the last one, use adjectives and titles that affirm their gender. Some that turn me into absolute jelly, as a vaguely transmasc-ish nonbinary lesbian: handsome, prettyboy, loverboy, good boy. Some that make my girlfriend's brain turn into soup as a trans woman: beautiful, gorgeous, honey, pretty girl, pretty thing, princess, kitten, angel. Your partner/s might not know what gendered terms will sit right with them, so ask first before you call them something new!

If your partner/s want to dress a certain way or modify their body to affirm their gender (letting their hair grow/cutting it short, getting piercings, going on HRT, getting surgery), support them. It doesn't matter if it's not a change you personally find attractive. What should be most attractive to you is your partner being happy.

Lastly, I wanna talk about what personally has probably been the most effective way my girlfriend and I have helped combat each other's dysphoria. It absolutely will not be helpful for everyone, but it's done wonders for us, so I want to talk about it while being clear that this isn't gonna be an approach that works for everybody. And that's been showing extra love to the parts of each others' appearances that we know the other person is dysphoric about. I struggle with on-and-off chest dysphoria, and she has or has in the past felt dysphoric about, among others, her facial and body hair, her height, the width of her shoulders, her voice, and her dick. But instead of avoiding these parts of each other's bodies, it feels good for us when they're given extra attention. The basic acceptance in going "yeah, your body looks like this, and you're still [x gender], and you're really fucking hot" has done wonders for us both. I know she sees me as nonbinary, so it doesn't bother me and in fact is very flattering and wonderful when she can't keep her hands or her mouth off my tits. I love that she can love them without seeing me as a girl. She loves when I pet and admire her stubble and chest hair and belly hair, when I cup her pretty cock and pepper it with kisses, etc. She says the way I treat her body makes her feel beautiful and feminine, which is everything I could ever ask for.

Again, that super won't work for everyone and I do not recommend it as a one-size-fits-all solution if your partner's feeling dysphoric. I've met plenty of trans people who would hate it, who hate having the things they're dysphoric about emphasized literally at all, who would be intensely uncomfortable or angry or sick to their stomach if someone approached them like this, and that's okay. Dysphoria isn't something you can just love away and I'm not advocating for that at all (and if you think it can be, fuck you). The only reason why this works for the two of us, I think, is because we both know that while the other person loves our body, they're also completely supportive of any and all gender choices we might make. My baby is really ecstatic that I just bought my first chest binder and that I'm looking into HRT options to increase the size of my dick, and I'm super excited that her tits have gotten bigger lately and that her figure is still changing. It's all-accepting acceptance, or it wouldn't be worth anything.

If you have any tips to add, please share them!

#reply #advice #anonymous #text

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highlyspecificsigns · 6 years

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the signs as cliched rpg characters

Source.

ARIES: The spunky princess who is rebelling against her royal parent and is in love with the hero. TAURUS: Your former ally who supposedly "died" and was forgotten about, until much later in the game when he/she shows up again on the villain's side and full of bitterness. GEMINI: The nauseatingly cute mascot who is useless in all battles. CANCER: The group of young women who have formed a scarily obsessive fan club for one of your female party members. LEO: The amazingly good-looking and amazingly evil long-haired prettyboy who may or may not be the ultimate villain. VIRGO: The irritatingly honorable foe whom you never get to kill because, upon discovering the true nature of his superiors, he either nobly sacrifices himself or joins your party. LIBRA: The NPC who has a crush on another NPC and can't quite work up the nerve to tell him or her, so instead tells every other person who wanders by about it at great length. SCORPIO: The achingly beautiful gothy swordsman who is riven by inner tragedy. SAGITTARIUS: The mad scientist who likes creating mutated creatures and powerful weapons 'cause it's fun (and also handy if uninvited adventurers show up.) CAPRICORN: The grim, selfish mercenary who over the course of the game learns what it means to really care about other people. AQUARIUS: The weird bonus character who requires a bizarre series of side quests to make them effective (with the ultimate result that no player ever uses this character if it can be avoided.) PISCES: The demure, soft-spoken female mage and healing magic specialist who is not only in love with the hero, but is also the last survivor of an ancient race.

#rpgs #the signs #the signs as #zodiac #astrology #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces

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