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keeptheotherone · 3 years

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Mecation: Day 1

Thursday

I once read social media described as an indulgence of the fantasy that others are interested in the details of our lives. I’m indulging in that fantasy this week by blogging about my Mecation under the guise of travel blogging ;)

If you follow me in even the most casual way, you know I’m a nurse. While I’ve enjoyed the vast majority of my 23 years as such, I don’t recommend it during a pandemic. The last 18 months have been the second-worst mental health period of my life, demoted to that position not because of the mildness of my symptoms but simply because at 15 I didn’t have the experience or perspective to realize my life was not, in fact, ruined forever.

COVID increased my personal vulnerability as a high-risk patient and made my job immensely more difficult in countless ways both small and large, but the worst part of the pandemic for me (so far) is it took away all my coping mechanisms precisely when I needed them most. Massage, pedicures, dinner out with friends, travel ... all gone practically overnight. Pre-COVID I travelled all the time--home to my parents’, long weekends by myself (Mecation!), annual visits to BFFs, conferences, tourism, the beach, my birthday, writing trips, international trips ... I always had at least one trip in the works, usually one booked and one (or more!) in the planning stages.

When COVID started, all my close friends and family except for two lived out of state. One of those two was out of town but close enough to get together, but the other was a few hours’ drive away. I’m single and live alone; it was the most isolated I’ve ever been in my whole life.

With my bestest friends over 500 miles away, I still feel that way sometimes. I haven’t seen them in a year. If it weren’t for COVID, it would only be 7 or 8 months (I’ve gone every January or February since ... forever). Then again, if it weren’t for COVID, I wouldn’t have been there last September; one had been hospitalized and I needed to see she was all right with my own two eyeballs. I expect it will be at least another 7 or 8 months before we get together again, bringing the total to about 20 months. One year we saw each other 5 times in 9 months, our personal best since college.

I was alone on Christmas. Oh, I’ve spent December 25th on my own before; I’m a nurse. I’ve worked the night of the 24th or the 25th (or both), or whatever combination that didn’t leave enough time off to drive home. But I’ve never spent the Christmas season without my parents. Sometimes the week before, sometimes the week after, sometimes at my place instead of home, but always together. But last Christmas COVID was raging, the vaccines had just come out but were only available to first responders (I got mine on the 23rd), and my elderly parents didn’t feel safe to travel. So I spent Christmas without family.

Travel was not just a break from my daily routine and the stress of nursing; in many ways, the biggest benefit travel made to my mental and emotional health was giving me something to look forward to. Proverbs 13:12 says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick,” and ohhh, I was so heartsick last year! Not being able to travel meant I couldn’t visit my best friends of almost 25 years (more than half my life!). Not being able to travel meant I couldn’t lean on my dad or be hugged by my mom. Not being able to travel--and not knowing when I could travel--left this gaping hole in my future, and I had nothing to fill it with.

I tell you this not to throw a pity party but to explain the significance of the trip I’m on right now. It is only my third this year: my dad and I spent a week in the mountains in February (my depression and anxiety was so bad then that was treatment, not vacation), I took a friend to the beach over my birthday, and now I’m a couple hours from home at a nice spa hotel. (I’m not counting my nephew’s graduation, which was emotionally challenging for multiple reasons, or helping a friend move from Florida. Moving is never fun.)

I started planning this trip in the spring ... May, maybe? You know, after the vaccine rolled out to everyone and case counts were dropping and it looked like we were gonna lick this thing and have a quasi-normal summer by the Fourth of July (yes, I’m American. That date is a proper noun here.). I had switched jobs in November (don’t ask) and gone on mental health leave December 29th, so I felt I owed it to my unit to put in about six months of work before taking any significant time off, especially since I came back at 24 hours instead of 36. That meant September.

I knew what I wanted to do: 4 or 5 days at an all-inclusive resort in the Caribbean. I’d been before and loved the freedom of not worrying about every little expenditure (what can I say, I’m cheap), and a few days of Vitamin Sea sounded perfect.

Then came Delta.

All right, maybe going out of the country isn’t the best idea, I thought. Don’t want to end up with expensive reservations and then your destination closes to Americans, or you make it to your chosen island but can’t get back home. But I didn’t want to fly (ugh, airports!), I didn’t want to drive (rest stops and restaurants and gas stations), and while I thought about taking the train, it didn’t seem much of an improvement (and maybe a downgrade) on flying.

Then a friend mentioned a sleeper car, and I thought yes! That could work! I’ve never been to New England, I want to go to Boston, that area of the country has low case rates and the highest vaccination rates, this has potential!

Then I looked at the CDC map. There were only four states that didn’t have high transmission at that time (early August, I think; I’d had to wait for confirmation that my time off had been approved): Michigan, Rhode Island, Maine, and New Hampshire. All four had substantial rates of transmission. Hardly ideal, but one thing I’ve learned this year is sometimes you have to make compromises to protect your mental health. It is true it doesn’t matter if you’re happy if you’re dead; it is also true it doesn’t matter if you’re safe if you want to kill yourself. (I’m not suicidal, I am receiving treatment, don’t anybody panic.)

So, now I’ve settled on Maine or New Hampshire by train via sleeper car (Michigan is too far for a 4-5 day trip and RI--meh). Well, as I got deeper into planning, turned out Maine or NH were awfully far too. Far enough I would have to overnight in a major city, which pretty much defeated the purpose of isolating in a sleeper car. Then I found out there were no sleeper cars on either train route.

So, now vacation is 5 weeks away and I’m back at square one. The Deep South, Texas, and Florida are imploding. Pediatric cases are rising--kids are sicker and make up a higher percentage of cases than they did last year. Scuttlebutt from my ICU colleagues is it’s bad--17/30 MICU beds are COVID and they’re all vented. SICU is being nicknamed “the ECMO unit.” The hospital has 18(!) ECMO machines and 12 are in use; the float nurse who tells us that didn’t even know we had 12 because she’s never seen that many in use at one time. Hospital-wide our numbers are equivalent to early February (we peaked in January). There were six--SIX--pediatric rapid responses in one day.

And I’m going to travel.

It’s a big deal ... a big accomplishment, really, because of what it says about how I’m successfully managing my anxiety. April 1 was the first time I’d been inside a grocery store in more than a year ... and that wasn’t my idea. It was late April or May before I was comfortable eating in restaurants, even with the falling case count at the time. I’m still not sure if I’m managing my anxiety or reacting to the pressure by going to the opposite extreme (I have a history of that), but I know I’m less stressed, less anxious, have fewer obsessive thoughts, fewer physical symptoms, and am learning to live with this disease.

So, here I sit at a marble-topped 5-foot-wide desk in my queen/queen hotel room at the end of a productive and enjoyable day. I slept in, completed the big goal of this weekend’s to-do list that I honestly thought would take several days, unpacked and organized my room (I arrived yesterday evening), reorganized my Favorites Bar and Bookmarks on my Mac, had an 80-minute aromatherapy massage, enjoyed a shower in the spa afterwards and even blow-dried my hair(!) before wandering around for a while to get the lay of the land and get some steps in (this place is huge!). Then I changed clothes and took myself out to dinner for my favorite food, Italian.

That’s me in the picture up top, all dressed up :) Actually, I probably look pretty normal to y’all; like most people with depression, my personal hygiene sunk to new lows in the last year and a half, and as a low-maintenance person to begin with, that’s saying a lot. I bought that necklace as a bridesmaid and am not sure I’ve worn it since; this spring was her 10th anniversary. Yesterday I took out the cat-shaped earrings Dad gave me for Christmas. (Yes, they were gross. Yes, I cleaned them. Yes, I’m wearing them again now.) Just wearing a nice top, fixing my hair (no ponytail or claw-clip bun, my staples), and adding jewelry was a big deal ... especially since “no one” was going to see me. I did it just for me, to make myself feel good. And I did. (That’s another small pleasure COVID took away from me--lip gloss. If I wore any makeup at all, it was lipstick or gloss. Utterly pointless when you’re masked whenever you’re in public.)

I took my laptop to dinner and edited a couple chapters of my new Charlie/Amy fic (previewed during #ktoo turns 10), ran a couple errands, and headed back to the hotel since I don’t like to be out late by myself in an unfamiliar city. Forgot I put my receipt envelope in the backseat pocket and reorganized the glove compartment looking for it, then gathered a bunch of returns into a bag in the trunk. Hung out writing in the lobby until my Mac threatened to die, came upstairs and tidied up, put on my jammies, and talked to you guys :)

#ktoo travels #covid coping #mental health #about ktoo #ktoo nurses #herself

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formless-monkeys · 4 years

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What is your favorite relationship(s) in the show (romantically or platonically, doesn’t matter!)

Anon you will regret opening pandora’s box. Or not. In any case, this post is going to be very long because I’m full of love. Also, anything marked romantic does not need to be romantic for me to lose my shit over them. In no particular order, either. Just in the order I thought of them.

1. The Black-eyed trio

Characters: Otto, Sparx, and Gibson.

Type: Platonic, Romantic,

Explanation: These three are grouped together by virtue of not being obscenely powerful and serving more practical uses on the team. Also, their eyes are all the same color. Besides the poetic connections of the colors of their design, they were alone in the robot together while the other three monkeys were out training.

Sparx and Gibson’s interactions give me life, going from playful jabs to genuine fighting right back to ride-or-die is amazing. The beginning of Night Of Fear, the battles in Brothers In Arms, and a bunch of small moments throughout the series are wonderful for this.

I could write an essay about Otto and Gibson, and someone else already has, but I’ll summarize it as ADHD autism solidarity with a side of Shut The Fuck Up Gibson. They care about each other and learn to respect each other in a way that’s better for both of them. I know a real-life Gibson to my Otto and learning that she’s just pretentious and doesn’t really hate anyone, and figuring out that we’re both equally brilliant and incredibly similar has made life a million times better.

Otto and Sparx don’t have as much development as Gibson with both of them, but their jokes together and general trust is amazing. Sparx is the dumb monkey and Otto supports him in his himbo endeavors.

These three together make an unstoppable technical team, and the only reason they probably couldn’t be a superhero team on their own is because of the raw power and fun dynamics brought by the other half of the team.

Romantically, these three would make the DUMBEST polycule ever. There is no true mediator here. It’s three dumbasses figuring out how they could possibly share a twin-sized bed when they have the ability to just make a bigger bed. Gibson calculates the most efficient 3 monkey makeout and none of them follow the statistics. They all give Chiro equally useless and conflicting advice on homework. Trying to give them a mediator in the polycule just makes me go back to shipping polymonkeys because I literally can’t decide if Antauri or Nova go better with them.

2. Quiet trust and encouragement

Characters: Otto, Antauri

Type: Platonic, Romantic

Explanation: When Otto is being dismissed by the other monkeys, or by the show itself, Antauri is usually the first to say “that’s bullshit, Otto is wonderful”. Circus Of Ooze is a notable example, but there are little moments in other seasons as well.

I just love the idea of the historically MOST SERIOUS and strongest monkey, sometimes even elevated to god-like status by some fanworks... paired with the monkey that has been infantilized and disrespected to no end. I personally like making Antauri have to lean on Otto, just to subvert that even further.

Beyond spite, I ship this simply because I like their dynamic. Antauri needs someone to ground him with more tactile physical things, and Otto needs someone to share his more nebulous thoughts I can’t imagine the others listening to. I love them.

Also, I want Antauri to unlock his true dumbass potential. He has the abilities, but not the will. Be silly with Otto. I want to hear him snort-laugh.

I literally forgot all the silver monkey stuff but I got three fics about that you know I go nuts over mechanic x robot shit.

3. The monkeys and their human son.

Characters: Chiro, Antauri, Nova, Sparx, Gibson, Otto

Type: Familial

Explanation: This family gives me joy. They were forced together through astronomical means and they made the best of it.

Everyone living in the robot is absolutely fucked up. They help each other in the darkest of times. They lift each other up when it’s light. They are a perfect team and nobody can be missing without it feeling wrong. But they can add people!

“Girl Trouble” as a concept is AMAZING to me but my secondhand embarrassment is so strong that I hate the episode. But never once is any of the monkeys resentful of Chiro. Not even Mandarin is like “wow I wish he didn’t take my place” no he’s also struck with the urge to nurture this kid to his fullest potential. Whether you see the team as a bunch of older siblings or 4 dads and a mom doesn’t really matter, they’re a family.

I mean, this also has a sprinkling of shipping all the monkeys in a really domestic way because I like seeing my optimal future in characters I like, but like literally all of these, it doesn’t need to be romantic for me to go nuts. I just think it would be fun to throw just a big monkey wedding or whatever. And funnier for Antauri to go “Chiro I’m having a baby. The baby is you” and holding up adoption papers because on the principle of Toby “Radiation” Fox I love that joke, especially when made much less weird than the original context.

I have a set of characters who is just 5 people in a polycule raising kids and living life because I really love this concept as a family.

4. Evil Coworkers

Characters: Mandarin, Sakko

Type: Romantic, Platonic,

Explanation: Why the hell are these two, in particular, working together? SK could’ve put Mandarin with literally anybody else and he chose what on the surface appears to be the LEAST compatible person on the account that they’re both monkeys. Some bitter asshole who now looks like the epitome of toxic masculinity and this tiny pink pet who used his femininity both as an advantage and a style. They’re different but it ends up working really well for both of them because they’re different in ways that cover each other’s bases. It’s wonderful. Pink and Orange go well together. Green and Purple go well together. Mandarin and Sakko go well together. Also, they clearly trust each other. During almost the entirety of “Hidden Fortress” Sakko was presumably just chilling inside of Mandarin’s armor. Mandarin trusted him enough to have Sakko in a place where he’s able to mess with his cybernetics, and Sakko trusted Mandarin enough to go into the battlefield with him and probably get tossed around.

If they were both human and in a more modern media, then they would definitely be shipped in the straightest way you can get without actually being straight. The Straightest Gay Ship.

5. A Witch and her Accidental Evil Coworker

Characters: Skelemandarin, Valeena.

Type: Platonic, Romantic,

Explanation: These two have been through some shit. Skelemandy was made to serve Skeleton King only to have that purpose yanked away from him. Valeena was groomed to idolize and serve Skeleton King for nearly her entire life. They were forced together by SHEER CHANCE and they both hated it. Arguably they both died at some point.

They both have absolutely NOBODY they can trust so let’s make them trust each other. All hilarity and sweetness comes from that.

Their dynamic is so good that I have them on a blog for a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FANDOM and people love them with no context.

This is the only cross-species ship I have (besides chinmay and the antauri ships but that doesn’t count), but the fact that Skelemandy isn’t actually a monkey and needs no cybernetic assistance to be human-level sentient makes it a lot less weird. Just put them on equal ground power-wise (like by nerfing Valeena’s magic) and you have the ingredients for bonding.

They have like, no cute moments in canon, but that’s why we have fics and art. They have potential. I want them to help each other figure out who they are without their purpose. I want them to survive this horrible life together. I want them to figure out how to trust again. I want a lot but Valeena is fucking dead.

But she doesn’t have to be.

(Also Valeena is REALLY HOT and Skelemandarin is just me as a monkey)

6. Gay Dads

Characters: The Alchemist, Captain Shuggazoom

Type: Romantic, Platonic

Explanation: Oh my stars. Oh null. Oh me oh my hhougfhfakjghf. These two have the angst of Mantauri but on crack.

They only appeared in about two episodes each and all three episodes are top tier. They call each other “Friend” multiple times in their shared episode. THEY’RE FRIENDS!!!!!!!!! The face Al makes when he realizes that Cap is visiting makes me really happy. The fact that Cap had this whole Batman Double Life thing and he shows the Alchemist BOTH OF THEM is amazing. The alchemist is a hermit living in the woods and he lets Cap into that life.

There isn’t a lot shown, much less than everything else here. But that makes every single fanfic so much richer since they’re almost completely based on headcanons. Friends who have a mutual crush on each other but are No Homo about it? Secret boyfriends? Husbands with 6 monkey kids? An Old man and a grumpy Skeleton making it work? Literally just platonic friends? Dude, you can do whatever you want.

The tragedy of these two losing each other to one big horrible event crushes me. It influences my every move in my creative work. I have an entire character dedicated to reuniting these two in the most astronomical and ridiculous way possible because the alchemist angered the gods but she thinks he needs some company in his eternal punishment.

I want Clayton to unlock Al’s less serious, more fun side. I want them to work together. I want them to hold hands. GHGHGHDFBG UTTHTYE CNAZSNT EBCV ASUA ER

7. The girl power duo

Characters: Nova, Jinmay

Type: Familial

Explanation: These two were my only comfort during the uncomfortable nightmare that is “The Hills Have Five”

Nova was the one who trained Jinmay, and it seems like they hang out a lot offscreen in season 4. They fulfill the early 2000′s cartoon archetypes of girl and Girl, so they’re supposed to get along. If they didn’t I probably wouldn’t like Jinmay.

Nova is a really good big sister/parental figure to Jinmay, who never had any family to speak of.

Anyway, this entry has to be shorter because most of their bonding is in “The Hills Have Five” which is either #1 or #2 in my least favorite episode list. Not because it’s bad, but because it makes me viscerally uncomfortable. I really wish literally any other character than Jinmay was in her role in that episode. Or that the “taken to an offscreen area by an adult man while she screams” just wasn’t there. SHE’S 13!!! Nova did literally all she could to help.

I really like that scene in questionable where Valeena kills almost the entire gang. It’s what they deserve.

Look I just really like Jinmay and I always have. She deserves a good Mom.

8. "My Second In Command”

Characters: Antauri, Mandarin

Type: Theoretical

Explanation: The fandom has really made this ship go from “literally nothing to stand on” to “integral plot point in a lot of fics”. Seriously. I have TWO screenshots that vaguely imply these two ever stood next to each other on the battlefield. This was entirely title-based and fan-made until ProjectAfectivity interviewed Ciro. Yeah he knows Antauri but only as well as the rest of the team. Anyway. Wow. This ship.

This is by far the worst breakup in history. These two, despite what Antauri says, were on equal ground at some point. According to Ciro (and fan speculation), they trained together. This (and other Mandy ship) changes wildly depending on if you think Mandarin was corrupted by the portal or not. Maybe Mandarin was once a kind leader who just crossed the wrong boundaries and paid for it. He could’ve held Antauri gently before battle. He could’ve been the monkey Antauri went to when he needed someone to talk to. He could’ve hyped the team up like Chiro does.

Or maybe, they were constantly fighting against each other in small ways. An incredibly unhealthy relationship, yes, but an interesting story. I like stories where Antauri isn’t this all-knowing pillar of stability. He’s got weaknesses. One of them may have been Mandarin.

Now that’s a good nickname from one to the other.

Imagine Antauri, in a moment of complete trust, declaring Mandarin his weakness. A sweet sentiment. They both know the other is incredibly strong, and trust that the other would never take advantage of that connection. They love each other. Until...

9. "My Closest Ally”

Characters: Otto, Mandarin

Type: Theoretical

Explanation: Okay I'm looking at the screenshot I put for this entry while also having watched Evil Ages recently. My brain is making uncomfortable connections. Combine that with the fandom and the show’s general treatment of Otto and I’m about to slam my head into a wall. I really do not like that, but I feel like there’s somebody out there who does.

Anyway, this is Gibotto and Ottauri but with all the spice that shipping Mandarin with one of the other monkeys brings. When done well, it’s all the respecting Otto that comes with Ottauri and all the intimate partnership of Gibotto. And the Angst of Mantauri, but a lot more grounded.

It paints a lot of stories. A story of a single point of comfort in a world Mandarin thinks is out to get him. A story of powerful validation from the one authority in Otto’s life. Of letting your guard down. Of trust, then breaking that trust.

I’d LOVE to see some things with Mandottotauri because that’s epic and cool and poggers. Don’t see a lot, though.

10.The Hets, I guess.

Characters: Jinmay, Chiro.

Type: Romantic. Platonic. Canon.

Explanation: Look two entries on this list are polyamorous and four of them are mandarin so I have to say SOMETHING for the heteroes following me. Picked this ship over Spova because when I was a young child still suffering from comphet, I never watched the last episode of the show. I only saw up to season 3 at the most. This was the only canon ship for me. And out of all the ships, it’s the most relatable. I’m currently a teenager with black hair who looks really good in eyeliner dating a girl with pink hair who can pick me up and is unbelievably sweet. Except we’re gay and polyam. Wait a second I totally had a crush on Jinmay as a kid and now my gf is the Jinmay in this situation. Oh my god I was going to make this comparison if I did Spova too and I liked Nova.

ANYWAY

These are two LONELY kids. Chiro had bullies during school, and now he doesn’t even go to school. Jinmay hasn’t really had friends at all. Two kids with places in their universe that they aren’t too sure about, and just need someone to lean on. Their date was cute. They instantly bonded over their love of monkeys and I love that.

The super robot is sometimes an analog for Chiro, in the first two season at least, and the way the super robot held Jinmay’s hands to keep her steady on the COB while her head flew in was SO SWEET. Chiro’s instant recognition and reaction to Jinmay’s head being thrown at the team, as well. He really loves her.

I think it’d be interesting if she didn’t love him back, though. I might take a stab at writing that.

#srmthfg #super robot monkey team hyperforce go #srmthg #chinmay #Mandotto #Mantauri #Mandareena #Manokko #Captain Alchemist #Ottauri #Polymonkeys #Gibottarx #Anonymous

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9w1ft · 4 years

Text

feels a little early to be writing a year-in review but i find myself in a quiet moment so i thought i’d tap a few things out

in 2019, in all facets of my life, i faced a challenge of some sort and i surprised myself as i held my ground more often than ran away, which felt new. what *also* felt new was this sense of ease i began having professionally, when it came to conceptualizing and making decisions. sorta feels like a lot of things are crystallizing.

in terms of life on here, i didn’t have TSL for the majority of the year (anybody out there remember TSL?!) so i busied myself with crafting fun memories on my own. there were spans of weeks where i’d just get on a tear and run into one new thing after the other and it was all really just fantastic. i gave myself permission to indulge in the most decadent of things and to follow the most mercurial of assumptions to places i thought closed off.

i’m pretty sure i’ve smiled and laughed more over this year than i ever have in my entire life. no joke.

here are some kaylorverse moments that brought me joy in 2019:

it’s nice to have a friend

2018 was my first year being a kaylor and i just sort of was moreover on the contributor or commenter side of things so 2019 was interesting in that when taylor really leaned into the gay imagery leading up to album release, i started getting newer people sending me stuff! and asking me my takes on things! and like, my words suddenly had weight for some reason? it felt weird but i truly enjoyed getting to talk with so many different people and hear their ideas and laugh and such. that was markedly different from last year. from within this, 79-swift reached out to me with the eye theory, the most beautiful and rare of observations by a singularly lovely individual that i have dedicated my life to protecting and promoting. and i feel like i’ve gotten to know many people i knew through 2018 more deeply and have come to accept the role i play, lean in to it, and formulate my own truth of the matter, and that sort of heightened perspective on it has been a blessing and i’m so thankful for this strange sense of camaraderie that has formed with many of you? thank you??? and my conviction, and my wishes, for the girls to find happiness have only strengthened this year... im committed to seeing this through whether people like it or not!! harumph!

block ‘em

i also started proactively curating my experience.. that’s right! i began blocking trolls with reckless abandon, and i turned anons off! 😂 and damn it’s so much more worthwhile of a time on here when you set aside people that only want to ruin your day.

i got over my fear of eyeballs!!

😂 no seriously, body horror and in particular eyes out of context was actually sort of a thing that previously creeped me out BUT LOOK AT ME NOW. i’m gonna do my best not to rehash the eye theory, please read the post and recall the number of times i filipped out 😂 each and every one is precious to me

also

geeking out with bert and ernie gifs with kaylorfossil and making empsmd-blog drop her debit card need a mention.

the ME! music playlist.

i fell in love with so many songs and like, running into eye motifs in so many of the songs, lyrically and visually, was the most hilarious thing. but really just a lot of the songs really tapped at my soul with an ice pick and i even went to go see The Japanese House live in Osaka which was transcendental and i’m just so thankful for having taylor introduce Good At Falling to me because it was a *necessary* album.

i made and collected stuff

i made and amassed many artifacts that one day i can look back on and remember what a wild ride it has been. some favorites are my procuring of the pixel art heart ring from the ME! mv (a nod to my tsl days..), as well as the evil eye ring.. i didn’t physically make this but the eye theory made the taydar podcast and there’s nothing i enjoy more in this world than making someone giggle and i just love that the episode exists. making that kaylor straw was 👌 working on a mock-up of the golden locket has been very satisfying. i started incorporating fun kaylor winks into my artwork as well which was fun, and i also commissioned a collage from the very talented and lovely valheria and i couldn’t have asked for anything better 🥰

wildin in the TS7 tag was the best.

i made this observation that there’s this type of cocoon that looks like a cobra, which transforms into a butterfly over a period of 13 days, and like, the post got so many notes and i just had a lot of swiftie eyeballs all of a sudden on my blog which led to some hilarity. but honestly i just love geeking out over theories and it’s fun to get to do that as fans of taylor at large. things felt warm and effervescent.

my newspaper subscription

i subscribe to the TTB Times and let me just say the submissions and anons this year were overwhelmingly a delight to read through every day. also like, we did get cued in to stuff before album release and i am just thankful that there are people out there both who want to give us that and people who work to help them give us that. thank you ttb for moderating your blog (my newspaper of choice) however it is that you do and to everyone that contributed to her blog.

the whole lead up to the ME! video release

so glorious... but particular the hour before. i was rushing to pick up my kid from school and suddenly i kept getting messages from people that taylor was covering her face and framing her eyes, and i was like oh please yeah sure BUT THEN when the snake in the video had a blank eye like i don’t think you guys understand i had to wait at a bus stop and exchange pleasantries with the other moms but it was a *five alarm fire* in my mind

cause shade never made anybody less gay

stealing away to listen to YNTCD for the first time and hearing Taylor Alison Swift use the word gay in a released song for the first time was a transcendental moment

karlie’s hand in the YNTCD mv.

‘nuff said

daisies. daisies everywhere.

taylor said daisy kaylor rights, and she said it everywhere. *everywhere*. cannot, will not, get over how blessed we are.

gay gay gay gay gay.... taylor’s

sorry not sorry that wiz khalifa collab with elohim on her track FYM was ethereal and i still hope it’s a part of the preshow playlist for Lover Fest

clue hunting in klossy videos and karlie ads

call me a corporate shill all you want like, there’s always a little something in there and i also enjoy the little flickers of goofy karlie that jump out from time to time. and i know this is not the case for everyone but post eyepocalypse, karlie leaning in, winking that eye of hers time and time again was just pique comedy for me and it always made me chuckle. the brands karlie has repped have been really laying it on thick too and it’s been a joy to see. when taylor does it with her music it’s art, and for me karlie’s media presence is a form of art too 😌

oh kaptain my kaptain

kimby liked a comment of mine on her insta which was a distinct honor and privilege 😌 and really she was dropping clues left and right through spring up until she got her snazzy new job and things calmed down 🥰 of which i am so proud talk about an on brand job! also partially clearing the air about my TSL theory and the lead up to clearing that air was quite fulfilling for me and i am forever grateful for the time we shared. and to this point, the seesters in general (and kurt omg) have been quite active all year and we don’t deserve it but they’ve stuck around and it’s been calming.

album cover art release on the livestream

LIKE I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE NEVER HAD A FOURTH WALL BROKEN SO DULY

i love you forever, thank you for everything

when taylor came to visit tokyo this year i was basically reenacting the swamp scene from OOTW trying to get a ticket to the secret event... i listened to ME! on LINE MUSIC for over 2000 plays, i bought multiple CD’s, it was such an ordeal and then to not have a ticket after all but still putting on my thinking cap and managing to figure out where the event was while i was at disney sea and literally running from disney sea to the venue in high heels with The Man playing on my phone was oscar-worthy and actually *being correct* and the moment i knew i was correct and how i knew i was correct was so amazing 😉 and i play by the rules so i didn’t try to get in without a ticket and i didn’t lurk. but just to have figured it out and validated it was such a thrill. seeing her on TV live was amazing as well ///

lost in japan, reprise

oh and, last year for rep tour there was this theory i had which didn’t pan out but it had to do with the clues i thought shawn mendes was dropping through autumn 2018 and anyway that’s a story for another day but as i was bopping around town, looking for lockets, staying in rooms i have no business being in, drinking lots of whisky...just to know that while i was doing *everything but* successfully meeting taylor, she literally phoned shawn and had him record lines for that eye theory remix like, i will never ever, like, guys. guys. 😂 it’s too perfect for words. the world is weird like that sometimes.

Lover

and omg Lover the album? i absolutely love lover and i loves that honeymoon period of theorizing and parallel unearthing that we did and i love how slightly creepy-cute it is and i love the whole wabi-sabi thing going on and i absolutely love every song on the album, every one, they all have so much meaning to me... and each one is teeming with little blips and bloops and sound samples and seconds of silence and i love all the brass instruments and so many lush moments... i guess my shortlist (in no particular order) would be the archer, lover, i think he knows, daylight, cruel summer, false god, cornelia street, ME! (yea i really like me 🥰). and to think about everything that went in to the album and the thrill of what it might have been and the vastness of what we don’t know, but like, the weight of that potential?? it’s like this vast pastel and black abyss of drowsy and deep feelings and i love every inch of it. it’s a vibe that reflects so much of what this year has been for me and i’m happy to have existed in this time to have had it with me.

jesus this has gotten too long, and i still have like 24 more things to write out but um, basically, as i’m sure you’ve been able to assume? i wanted to say that despite 2019 being somewhat of a slasher film affair for our fandom, i still had a goddamn great time this year and i hope everyone can find some good memories and relive them as well 🥰

#kaylor #much love to you all!!#all eyes on us

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tree-choose-pot · 3 years

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Knock Knock, Anybody Home?

A big part of the reason I was excited about this trip was the chance to visit friends and family. And as many can attest, I’m good at inviting myself over, often without much notice. Covid-19 has put a bit of a damper on visits and public gatherings, but just about everyone we’ve crossed paths with has been open to a small gathering. We’ve thoroughly enjoyed our friendly stopovers on our otherwise ‘road to nowhere.’

Our first visit was during our trial run to the California central coast. We visited by brother and a friend I met in the laundry room in college. She is a traveler too and is always up for figuring out a get-together. My kids adored her little girl and now ask to FaceTime with baby Faye. My family stopped by our campsite, where the kids showed Uncles how to make a fire, and my family said “this looks fun... for maybe a week, not a year!”

Then, after officially packing up the RolyPoly but before pulling it out of the California storage lot, we flew to Arizona in June and rescued our good friends from quarantine, as they thanked us for being a good excuse—an out of town visitor—to all get together for a pool party, walks, and a moms’ night out. I played golf with my Tucson golf buddy, we visited the kids’ favorite babysitter who is excitedly pregnant with her first, stopped to see our old neighbor, and went for a moonlit walk with a couple who always adored our kids, which turned into a lightning show, which lit the mountain on fire, which turned into one of Tucson’s worst-ever fires! Yikes. We really feel at home in Tucson, and were all very happy to see our friends. We then had a 2nd special visit with Anina’s longest friend (they hung out as newborns in Tucson), when he and his dad were visiting grandparents at a summer lake home in Minnesota near where we were camping. Such a treat!

Friends with these gals since we all had newborns. We now each have a boy and a girl, and still go to each other for venting and advice.

BFFs on a SUP in MN.

When we changed our routing away from Covid- and protest-ridden Seattle and the closed borders of B.C. Canada, we found ourselves in Boise and called up an Air Force family that had retired the same time as Bill and had moved closer to family. We had a fantastic catching up session and found they were also struggling with the decision of where to call home. They invited us to a family 4th of July BBQ, complete with front yard fireworks, and we all loved every minute.

We then were lone travelers traversing the mountains and Great Plains. We met up with the above mentioned Tucson friend in central Minnesota, than timed our arrival in Door County, WI for the Sawicki family reunion I already blogged about. After that we had our Campbell family reunion in Michigan, with Bill’s 2 brothers traveling up also to join in the fun. Uncle D and Aunt C gives both kids plenty of love, attention, and fun gifts/activities whenever we visit! Uncle C and his new wife are pet lovers and silly with the kids, and Uncle S spent 2 nights in the RolyPoly with us, which the kids just loved! It was nice to spend a good chunk of time in Fremont, MI, to not only relax with family but also explore the town. Our Michigan nephews are getting old, as one was about to start college, one high school, and one who lived with us a few years ago was also visiting from Texas. Anina spent some time trying to figure out the odd behavior of teenagers.

We also had wonderful visits with Bill’s two good high school friends, and his cousin’s ‘farm-tastic’ family. They invited us to a barrel racing event they were hosting at their farm. It was a fundraiser organized by his cousin’s daughter on her 16th birthday! She and her brother are accomplished rodeo athletes (probably not the right term) and I’d say they’re great event planners too. Anina and Benji were treated to a ride on one of the family’s race horses! We just might like to come back for another Michigan summer!

Watching his 11 year old ‘1st cousin once removed’ prepare the rodeo arena in Ravenna, MI.

Just two brothers playing ball with an up-an-coming star.

On our way out of Michigan, we visited some good friends from our Bogota days in their downtown Grand Rapids condo. They’ve continued living and working abroad and have just returned for this crazy stateside 2020. The kids played with a basket of unique toys from around the world while we enjoyed a meal, memories, and conversation.

Our next stop turned into an unexpected stay-over in an Indiana front yard. Bill’s good long-time friend invited us, as long as we brought her favorite breadsticks from Fremont, MI. This family has a 5 yo boy and 8 yo girl, and a dog and a golf cart. The kids were the friendliest, most fun playmates! We just had to stay the night on their lawn. We enjoyed wine and dinner around their fire pit, and after breakfast the next morning Anina did a little zoom school with her new kindergarten friend. He lost his tooth sitting right next to her, which was super memorable for Anina too.

In New York and New Jersey, my over-age-65 family welcomed us despite Covid. I deem our risk for infection to be low, but we were extra careful leading up to our visits. I definitely still had some paranoia thanks to the “YOU’LL be OK, but you’re going to kill Grandma” paraphernalia. We spent my Uncle’s birthday at a Long Island petting zoo (his wish!), and had many hours of fun playing with my cousins’ old trains, games, beanie babies, and legos. My grandmother is hearing less and seeing less and constantly worrying that the children are going to fall, choke on something, or just implode for no reason, but I think we infused some joy into her quarantined life. I’m sure glad we didn’t give her Covid, as I need all the future guardian angel grandparents I can get. In New Jersey, we celebrated Anina’s birthday with my uncle’s homemade spaghetti and meatballs, and enjoyed some ‘comforts of home’ for a week or so, such as laundry, cable TV, and yard work!

These two know how to keep the kids’ attention!

Anina (heart) Cheeca.

Treated to ice cream by my dad’s cousin at Cape May’s Sunset Beach.

Unfortunately, we bypassed our many friends in the DC area, as I needed a break from pandemic visit anxiety. So we started exploring the southeast for a potential home town. We were welcomed by my mom’s cousin, aunt, and uncle (my grandfather’s brother), who all follow our travels on Facebook and are helping raise a 3 year old granddaughter. My kids were pleased to have a kid day, with bubbles, cupcakes and a little girl’s room full of toys. They live in Murrels Inlet, SC and began filling us in on alligators, flooding, and the slower pace of life (they’re New Yorkers)!

I’m sure I forgot to mention somebody, and I may add photos as I find them, but to sum it all up, we have loved our visits with familiar faces; it has been a very special part of our trip. We are learning during this pandemic the importance of physical presence with other people. Virtual visits are nice but I’ve always preferred real visits. That’s right... I’ll drive 3,000 miles to see you!

#friends #family

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etraytin · 4 years

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Quarantine, Day 64

Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when it's Quarantine Day 64?

It's May 14, for those of us who are still having a hard time keeping track of the days, which means we are very close to halfway through yet another month. Since April ended sometime in the late Pleistocene Epoch, this is a pretty solid accomplishment, go us! It also marks two weeks of being here in North Carolina instead of home in Virginia. My balcony plants are either super dead or forming their own jungle ecology by now, no middle ground. I'm not even going to contemplate what the milk is doing, because it was already not new before I forgot to throw it away on May 1. Oops.

One of my followers sent me a message today to say they liked my quarantine journal, which is very nice to hear! I have been journaling for an audience off and on since I started my Livejournal in 2001 (I am oooooooold), but Tumblr is not necessarily a natural home for diary blogging. Still, a lot of my internet friends live her, and it's comfortable, and at this point journaling is pretty much the only way I can make sense of what's happening from day to day and week to week. I wrote a few things down during the first couple weeks of quarantine, but it barely seemed real for awhile. My daily journaling began around Day 28 because I had a night where I could no longer smell or taste anything, and it turned out to be allergies but it scared the hell out of me. It suddenly occurred to me that not only would journaling be something interesting to look back on, but it might be a vital part of contact tracing for someone like me whose appointment calendar is written on her hand as often as not. I have not needed to use it for that, thankfully, but I have gotten to tell a lot of stories and work through a lot of stuff in my own brain. If it has entertained anyone else or made anyone else feel less alone, that's even better.

Today was another tiring one. I spent a lot of time trying to learn a bunch of stuff about Medicare on the fly, plus line up consultations with an elder law attorney for my mother in law and fill out the questionnaires we need to have done in advance. Answering those questions is long and tedious, and it often involves unpleasant truths like spelling out every medical problem either of them have, and every potential financial liability. I got six pages into the thirteen page form and called it a day, because even getting that far had involved about two hours of research and signing up for various government and insurance web portals to dig up information. Blech. It's like registering for the bar exam all over again but with less questions on moral turpitude and more disclosures about gifts to grandchildren. (And I shouldn't complain, the bar exam application was closer to 40 pages.)

Things with my mother in law did go better today. I feel like I complain about her all the time on here and it's not really fair because she's a great person and I love her a lot. If I didn't, I wouldn't get so upset if she's not taking care of herself! She and the kiddo had a good time today playing games and reading books, and she was able to get in for a very important medical procedure that she had skipped last month because she had nobody to drive her. Today she got that procedure and as a bonus it meant keeping her leg propped up for hours, so overall it was great and there were no new falls. We also had to sit for quite awhile to do the questionnaire stuff, so that was one side benefit of me banging my head against the metaphorical wall for a few hours. Now that she's sleeping and eating more, she just has a lot more energy, and that's a good and bad thing when she's supposed to take it easy.

Dinner was good today too, my husband decided to make a picnic for the balcony and did up roasted breaded chicken, biscuits with hot honey butter, and spicy potato-bean hash. It sound weird, but it was all very tasty, and the weather today was amazing. It's been very cold all week, but now it really feels springy and perfect. The table umbrella was not working, but I managed to jury-rig it with a bungee cord. Now it won't close but it stays open quite nicely, which beats the opposite. I'm also trying to drink more water, because the air here is super dry and I'm eating a lot of salty food, but results are mixed so far. I need at least another couple cups before bed.

Had another post-bedtime conversation with the kiddo just a few minutes ago, one of the hardest ones yet. He was very sad because he said things are not getting any better, only worse. After teasing that out for a couple of minutes, we dug down to him being very sad about the fact that his Papa is sick and not getting any better, and that he wants to visit him, but it's also horrible because Papa not only doesn't remember their previous visits from day to day, he doesn't always remember the kiddo right away at this point. And fuck, I didn't know what to say at all to that. He cried, and I cried right along with him, and told him that he was right, it's horrible and unfair that this should happen to anybody, but especially to Papa, who has always been so clever and had such good stories. In a lot of our bedtime conversations I can remind him of good things that are happening or things to look forward to, but there is no reason to assume that anything is going to get better in this situation, and every reason to believe that they will be worse soon.

In this case, I figured it was best just to level with him, even though he's only ten. I told him that I remembered having to do this with my grandmother, and that was terrible and sad, and it felt like losing her in tiny pieces. It hurts, and it will hurt to lose Papa, and it's okay if he needs to cry or needs to not go on a visit or needs to talk about it with me or Daddy. But I also told him that I believe that my grandma is in heaven now, and that she doesn't forget anymore, and she's not hurting or confused, and that one day we are going to have so much to talk about, and that helps me to feel better. And I reminded him that for Papa, every moment with him is important because every moment he is living in is the one he remembers best. So when seeing the kiddo makes him happy, he is very, very happy and he doesn't remember feeling sad or scared or angry, even if he was just yelling a minute ago. We can still give Papa lots of good moments, because we love him.

After that, we had to go fix ourselves up because we were both extremely snotty and gross, which gave us the opportunity to make stupid jokes about whether we should waste the extremely valuable toilet paper and whether a Kleenex over one's face counts as appropriate masking. There is definitely something to be said for the period of cathartic humor after a difficult talk. To further that, we went and had some cocoa even though it was already after ten, and I let him have marshmallows and whipped cream. Carbs and sugar, hell yes! It's good for what ails you. Then we watched Micarah Tewers again because silly seamstresses is what makes us both happy these days, and by then he was feeling okay to go to bed again.

He's sleeping now, and I think he's doing all right. He said he likes talking to me like this, and I'm glad. I like talking to him too, though it is a continuing revelation to me the kind of complex inner life he has going on. I mean of course I understand that he is a real person, but internalizing the fact that he has somehow gone from being the extremely demanding wet bag of flour I brought home from the hospital ten years ago to a full-fledged self-determining individual whose thoughts and insights amaze and baffle me is an ongoing process. (He was an extremely cute bag of flour, don't get me wrong, but I swear to god, raising kids is sometimes like suddenly realizing your adorable baby kitten now has opinions on politics and wants you to defend your positions on moral virtue.)

Anyway, it's time for me to get to bed as well, because the only Walmart pickup slot I could get on Monday was for Friday at 7am. At least they're unlikely to be running behind during the first slot of the day, I guess? It's funny because I also made a Walmart pickup order for when I get back to Virginia, and they were offering me same day pickup. It seems like they may be a little bit more back to normal than we are here. I may have to check and see if they have toilet paper and yeast and everything. That would be awesome.

#quarantine #dealing with big feelings #dementia #tw: dementia #tw: end of life

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ibrahimkhalilof · 4 years

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What's the easiest way to make money online?

In this post, I am gonna tell you 10 Easiest way to make money online

1.Start a Blog

Starting a Blog is the best way to earn money online.Many bloggers earn millions of dollars through their own blogs like Shoutmeloud and Wpbeginner.You can earn through your website in many ways like: Affiliate marketing, Sell your own product, Sell Online Courses. By this ways you can earn millions of dollars through a website.Firstly, you have to Start a Blog. I have already written an article on it if you want to start a blog you can read it How to Start a Blog in 2020.

2. Affiliate Marketing

Even if you don't have your own products or services to sell, affiliate marketing gives you a chance to earn strong commissions through a series of one-time sales (or ongoing monthly sales). Online merchants provide you with an affiliate website (or a simple affiliate tracking link) and marketing support – all you have to do is promote the company with your link via social media, search engines or perhaps ideally your own website or blog (see above).With all of these methods we're discussing you'll want to be sure to build your email list so you can continually follow up with your subscribers and generate additional sales.The great thing about affiliate marketing is you don't have to create your own products, you don't have to provide any customer support, and you don't have to create your own marketing materials.All you have to do is pick a profitable market, promote the products as an affiliate and earn a commission anytime a sale is made. Affiliate Marketing is one of the fastest and easiest ways to make money online.Even if you are offering your own products and services man people choose to also promote other people's products as an additional income stream to what they are already doing.

3. Start Your Own Ecommerce Website

Another great opportunity to make money online is with an e-commerce website/store.This is where you are selling physical products from your website. The most common (and hassle-free) way to do this is via drop shipping; where you simply take the orders on your website and use a third-party source that manufactures and ships the products for you.They key thing you'll want to do is focus on one specific niche and be a specialty store that just caters to that market, don't try to be all things to all people like an Online Shopping for Electronics, Apparel, Computers, Books, DVDs and more.Speaking of Online Shopping for Electronics, Apparel, Computers, Books, DVDs and more, though you may want to tap into other websites such as, Online Shopping for Electronics, Apparel, Computers, Books, DVDs and more. As a way of reaching additional people you want to be sure that you have your own web presence with your own store so that you have 100% control over your business.

4. Online Publishing (E-books)

Regardless of your current occupation and lifestyle, there is probably a book inside of you that's screaming to get out. Amazon's Kindle Direct Publishing (KDP) platform has given thousands of people a chance to become published authors and earn money. It may also serve as a way to get noticed by more established and traditional publishers.Not only can you sell ebooks on platforms like Online Shopping for Electronics, Apparel, Computers, Books, DVDs and more; but you can also sell ebooks directly from your own website as well. This allows you to sell your ebooks at higher prices and get all of the profits.You can also repackage multiple ebooks into larger "packages" or use the ebooks as a foundation to sell higher-ticket online courses or even coaching and consulting services.Publishing ebooks is a great way to make passive income, grow into bigger projects, and establish your authority as an expert in your market.With simple to use tools, access to outsourcing graphics, cover design, etc. anybody can self-publish a book and have the same professional presence and credibility as a big publishing house.For many people, the idea of writing a book can be intimidating but keep in mind that if you are writing ebooks that you're selling on your own website or publishing to Amazon Kindle you can write shorter books that are more focused on a specific niche or issue... you don't have a write extremely long books that take months or years to crank out.

5. Online Surveys

Online surveys are one of the easiest ways to earn extra cash. Brand name corporations and market research firms are desperately seeking people's opinions on products and services and will offer good remuneration for it. Depending on their complexity, each survey can be worth five, ten or more dollars.There are many reputable survey companies to choose from, but you may want to limit yourself to 3-5 in the beginning. Stick with the survey companies that give you plenty of surveys to take and pay a decent amount and stop using the services that don't end up being worth your time.You also want to avoid illegitimate companies; as this field is widespread with scam opportunities that will take a lot of your time and pay you very little money or even scam you out of your money.Though you're probably not going to be able to make a full-time income taking surveys it is a realistic way to make a couple hundred extra dollars a month.

6. Online Freelancing

If you have specific writing/journalism skills or are adept in various IT/software domains, freelancing may prove to be a lucrative source of secondary income. Increasingly, companies are implementing a content marketing strategy and turning to outside sources for specific assignments, and if you can prove your worth there will be more work available. Even simple skills like data entry may be to your liking, provide you can offer at least 5-10 hours weekly.All you need is a computer with an Internet connection and the desire to build a respectable clientele. Chances are that these opportunities will allow you to gain valuable experience and skills that will prove valuable in your existing business and professional career.If you're already writing ebooks in a particular niche market (see above) then why not make your services available for other companies; as you already have the expertise to take on the niche writing assignments.Though it's not really a passive income stream, doing freelance work is one of the fastest ways to generate income.

7. Coaching and Consulting Online

With the low cost of communication and technology, you can connect with anyone around the world.If you're already making money selling information online via Kindle books, affiliate marketing, or your own information products as mentioned above then you definitely have the opportunity to add coaching and consulting online as a source of revenue.This isn't nearly as scary is it sounds if you've never done it before. Most people who are buying from you would love the opportunity to speak with you to answer specific questions and get personalized advice.With tools like Skype, video conferencing, and webinar technology you can offer one-on-one calls, group coaching calls, and small mastermind meetings.A simple Kindle book or ebook sale can lead to a high-end client who wants to pay to work with you one-on-one.Offering coaching and consulting is one of the highest price methods of generating income.

8. Start Your Online Business Today!

Think about it, making money online is surprisingly easy once you set your mind to specific income goals. Ideally, the activities that you choose to engage in are fun, exploit your talents and interests, are worthy of your time, and offer fair compensation.As the Internet continues to evolve, opportunities to earn supplementary and full-time online income will grow. The very definition of work in an information-based economy is evolving, with traditional full-time jobs disappearing in favor of different arrangements (e.g. self-employment, flexible schedules, changing skill sets, etc.). In this respect, giving it a try can open up new career and business options.

9. Create Online Courses to Productize Your Knowledge

If you’re already an expert in a topic—either through your current job, freelance business, or coaching—you can package that knowledge into a high-value course and sell it for years to come.And while building, launching, and marketing an online course does take a considerable amount of upfront effort, their earning potential is through the roof (especially compared to a lot of the other online ways to make money we’re talking about).Courses and other knowledge products like e-books, are what’s called passive income. That simply means that once the upfront time and effort is put in, with just a bit of regular upkeep and marketing you’ll be able to continue to sell and make money from them for months and years.So, how do you go about putting together your course? One of my favorite online course success stories comes from Bryan Harris of Videofruit, who built and launched an online course in just 10 days that made him $220,750!At the end of the day, you’ll need to attract some sort of audience to sell your online course to—and if you can do that well, you’ll be on the path to building a very long-term sustainable online business for yourself.

10. Launch a YouTube Channel to Entertain and Educate

While YouTube recently changed its monetization program, if you’re able to hit their new minimum bar of 1,000 subscribers and 4,000 hours of view time in the past 12 months, it’s still an incredible place to make extra money online.YouTube is arguably the world’s second largest search engine (after Google) and is the third most-visited site in the world. In 2017, almost 5 billion videos were watched on YouTube every single day!Rather than making money through subscriptions, YouTube channels are based on a traditional advertising system. Meaning the more viewers you get, the more you make. Once you’re approved for the Youtube Partner Program and can start including ads on your videos, with every 1,000 views, you will make approximately $2-$4. Which might not seem like a lot, but if you have 100 videos with 5,000 views a month each, that would be $1,000–$2,000 already. Just imagine if your videos start hitting millions of views!You can optimize your videos to rank higher by experimenting with attention-grabbing descriptions and previews as well as using relevant tags. You need to stand out and make people want to click on your video.As you start regularly putting out content, you’ll hopefully start to build a bit of an audience. But to start seeing real money from YouTube you need to market your videos elsewhere. Share your channel on Twitter and Facebook. Distribute videos anywhere else you can think of. Also, interact with comments and build a community around the videos you’re making so people will share it with their friends.Once you hit the 1,000 subscriber/4,000 hour threshold, you can start monetizing your videos by selecting “Monetize with ads” under the Monetization tab of your channel. While it can take a while to build up a decent following for your YouTube channel, it can be a lot of fun to do as well as become a steady source of extra income.

#Portugal Osama bin Laden AskBigSean TrumpHatesOurVeterans USOpen Serena Bowden Marshall TrumpHatesVets OBiden Kirk Herbstreit Degrassi Criti

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centerofstupidity · 4 years

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Varney the Vampire Chapter 3

If you enjoy the content you are reading, please like and follow the Center of Stupidity blog.

Interested in reading the previous Varney the Vampire chapter snarks? They can be found here.

Chapter summary: Our intrepid heroes the local village idiots shoot Varney. Of course, Varney is wearing thick plot armor.

Which means we get another chapter where characters standing and talking along with more melodrama.

In the event that this gets flagged, here is another place to read the chapter snark.

"He is human!" cried Henry;

You just saw a guy with "metallic eyes" whose mouth was "dabbled in blood" after attacking Flora.

But you are still coming to the conclusion that Varney is human...

Wow, somebody has the I.Q. of Bella Swan.

And yes...

I know that prior to this story being published, vampire lore wasn't well known and culturally speaking vampires were a rather new phenomenon in England.

But if somebody saw what Henry had seen, their first thought wouldn't be "That guy was human and not a supernatural creature."

"I have surely killed him."

He was wearing thick plot armor.

Marchdale agrees and says that they should go outside the wall and find the body.

And here comes a long sentence.

This was at once agreed to,

Hopefully this means we won't have another chapter where characters are just standing around talking to each other.

and the whole three of them made what expedition they could towards a gate

Who knew heading towards a gate was such a strenuous task?

which let into a paddock, across which they hurried, and soon found themselves clear of the garden wall,

According to Merriam Webster, a paddock is usually enclosed area used especially for pasturing or exercising animals.

And the Collins dictionary states that a paddock is a field where horses are kept or exercised.

So why would anyone have a garden next to a paddock?

First of all, you'd be smelling animal droppings.

And the end of the day, somebody would be walking the animals through the garden in order to put them in the stable or barn.

So...

so that they could make way towards where they fully expected to find the body of him

And I bet dollars to doughnuts that they won't find a corpse.

who had worn so unearthly an aspect,

Maybe because he is....

I don't know... Not human!

but who it would be an excessive relief to find was human.

Because a blood-drinking fiend is normal.

So hurried was the progress they made,

That they were sweating like pigs!

that it was scarcely possible to exchange many words as they went;

Unless they suddenly lost the ability to speak...

They can still talk.

a kind of breathless anxiety was upon them,

Sorry, authors.

I don't care what happens to these people.

and in the speed they disregarded every obstacle,

Because in a potential dangerous situation...

It is sensible to be unaware of one's surroundings.

which would, at any other time, have probably prevented them from taking the direct road they sought.

Is the gate obstructed by litter or debris?

If so, why?

And if not, what would have prevented them from taking the direct route?

It was difficult on the outside of the wall to say exactly which was the precise spot which it might be supposed the body had fallen on;

Unless Henry has the attention span of a ferret high on crack...

Henry should remember where he shot Varney.

And by knowing that, he could determine where the body should be.

but, by following the wall its entire length, surely they would come upon it.

I bet that they are not going to find a body.

They did so; but, to their surprise,

Found a leprechaun.

they got from its commencement to its further extremity without finding any dead body, or even any symptoms of one having lain there.

Varney is alive!

Well... For a member of the Undead.

At some parts close to the wall there grew a kind of heath, and, consequently, the traces of blood would be lost among it,

According to Collins Dictionary, a heath is an area of open land covered with rough grass or heather and with very few trees or bushes.

And Merriam Webster defines it as a type of plant or uncultivated land usually with poor and coarse soil.

Which means they are referring to a type of plant.

So unless it has the magical ability to absorb blood...

The three men should be able to find blood if Varney was wounded.

And now that I'm thinking about it, a vampire plant is a cool idea.

if it so happened that at the precise spot at which the strange being had seemed to topple over, such vegetation had existed.

Ugh. Reading this made my brain hurt.

So there was some vegetation when Varney fell over...

And now it no longer exists.

Even though we were told a few seconds ago that the plants made it impossible to see any blood.

So the three guys walk around the wall twice and they can't find anything.

"It could not have been a delusion," at length said Mr. Marchdale, with a shudder.

Also, that's not how delusions work.

Just you see something, doesn't mean that it is real.

And sometimes the delusions are very vivid.

"Then what terrible explanation can we give?"

This sentence sounds weird. It is because they used the word "terrible". Right now, it sounds like one of the men are asking for a bad explanation.

I think the correct word would be "other." But as Mark Twain wisely said:

"By heavens! I know not," exclaimed Henry.

If you knew what was going on, then you wouldn't be bewildered.

"This adventure surpasses all belief, and but for the great interest we have in it, I should regard it with a world of curiosity."

*Takes a deep breath *

That's right, gentlepersons.

A person has been brutally attacked.

But the situation is described as being an "adventure."

Fuck this book with a chainsaw!

"It is too dreadful," said George; "for God's sake, Henry, let us return to ascertain if poor Flora is killed."

You mean that it is a good idea to do an investigation before coming to a conclusion???

"My senses," said Henry, "were all so much absorbed in gazing at that horrible form, that I never once looked towards her further than to see that she was, to appearance, dead. God help her! poor -- poor, beautiful Flora. This is, indeed, a sad, sad fate for you to come to. Flora -- Flora -- "

"Do not weep, Henry," said George. "Rather let us now hasten home, where we may find that tears are premature. She may yet be living and restored to us."

They all agree and hurried back to the house.

Henry, after some trouble, got the hall door opened by a terrified servant, who was trembling so much that she could scarcely hold the light she had with her.

"Speak at once, Martha," said Henry. "Is Flora living?"

"Yes; but -- "

"Enough -- enough! Thank God she lives; where is she now?"

Martha says that Flora is in her bedroom and proceeds to freak out. The three guys rush into the room.

Several lights had been now brought into that antique chamber,

But they clashed with the decor.

and, in addition to the mother of the beautiful girl who had been so fearfully visited,

Somebody placed a creepy clown doll on the nightstand.

there were two female domestics, who appeared to be

using their cell phones and are on Twitter.

in the greatest possible fright,

Because after seeing Flora's mother in a sheer nightgown...

Somethings can't be unseen.

for they could render no assistance whatever to anybody.

Translation?

They are useless.

The tears were streaming down the mother's face,

Because some asshole randomly decided to cut a lot of onions.

and the moment she saw Mr. Marchdale, she clung to his arm,

She was doing a Bella Swan impersonation.

evidently unconscious of what she was about,

Um...

She suddenly doesn't know who she is?

and exclaimed, --

Shitty dialogue mixed with an exposition dump.

"Oh, what is this that has happened -- what is this? Tell me, Marchdale! Robert Marchdale, you whom I have known even from my childhood, you will not deceive me. Tell me the meaning of all this?"

Aside from the "As you know Bob" dialogue...

The mother called Marchdale by his surname and then used his full name.

This doesn't make any sense.

In Victorian times, especially in formal settings, people would be referred to by their surnames or titles.

But if people were friends, they would be calling each other by their first name.

So the mother would be referring to Richard Marchdale as Richard.

Also, just because you know someone from childhood....

It doesn't mean that they are a honest person.

"I cannot," he said, in a tone of much emotion.

"As God is my judge, I am as much puzzled and amazed at the scene that has taken place here to-night as you can be."

And in other news, the Pope is Catholic and bears shit in the woods.

Anyway, the mother bawled her eyes out. I don't blame her.

I would too if I found out that I was a character in a penny dreadful.

"It was the storm that first awakened me," added Marchdale; "and then I heard a scream."

Let's rewind, shall we?

Marchdale asked the two brothers what's going on.

Then Flora started shrieking.

The sound caused Flora's mom to faint.

Marchdale grabs her so she doesn't hit the floor.

He tells Harry/Henry to hold his mother.

Finally, Marchdale cries “Follow me who can!” as he heads towards Flora's room.

What does all this mean?

Flora's mother and the three men heard a noise. Which means, Marchdale wasn't the only one that heard screaming.

Also, Marchdale never previously mentioned that he was awakened by the storm.

Normally, the second point wouldn't be suspicious. But considering the fact that Marchdale lied...

It sounds like he is trying to create an alibi.

In conclusion?

Anyway, the brothers are quivering as they approach the bed. Flora is sitting in bed, being propped up with pillows.

She was quite insensible,

How is this unusual?

It would be MORE surprising if Flora was in a lively mood.

and her face was fearfully pale;

All you need is some glitter, and Flora would be a perfect sparklepire.

while that she breathed

Another vampire failed in killing a damsel in distress.

at all

If Flora doesn't breathe, she would be dead.

could be but very faintly seen.

Um...

People normally don't take deep and heavy breaths.

On some of her clothing,

There was yellow stains.

about the neck, were spots of blood,

How is that possible???

When Varney bit Flora, blood was gushing.

Which means the nightgown and the bed sheets should be soaked with blood.

and she looked more like one who had suffered some long and grievous illness,

You mean when someone is mauled by a vampire, they aren't going to look gorgeous??

Thanks for letting me know!

than a young girl in the prime of life and in the most robust health,

"She was so fit that she could do a triathlon!"

as she had been on the day previous

Because according to Varney the Vampire's logic...

Only healthy people are attacked by vampires.

to the strange scene we have recorded.

It isn't a normal occurrence to be attacked by a vampire.

"Does she sleep?" said Henry

Because the first words that should come out of a person's mouth after someone has been attacked...

Is to ask if they are sleeping.

as a tear fell from his eyes upon her pallid cheek.

Ah, the single tear.

How nauseating.

"No," replied Mr. Marchdale. "This is a swoon, from which we must recover her."

Quick! Somebody fetch the smelling salts!

Active measures were now adopted

Because reviving a damsel in distress is urgent!

Cue the dramatic music!

to restore the languid circulation,

Uh, "languid circulation"?

According to Merriam Webster, languid is defined as being "sluggish" or "lacking in force or quickness in movement."

Correct me if I'm wrong...

If somebody has slow circulation, it means that they have a serious health problem.

and, after persevering in them for some time, they had the satisfaction of seeing her open her eyes.

Instead of being relieved that Flora is awake...

They seem annoyed that it took so long for her to regain consciousness.

Her first act upon consciousness returning,

Was to exclaim her undying devotion to Varney.

however, was to utter a loud shriek,

A shriek is hardly quiet.

and it was not until Henry implored her

"Implored her”?

I guess only a filthy peasant would have used the word begged or pleaded.

to look around her,

To find that the hills are alive with the sound of music.

and see that she was surrounded by none but friendly faces, that she would venture again to open her eyes,

...

.......

Previously, Flora's eyes were already open.

But now, her eyes were closed but she then opened them.

'Ello contradiction!

and look timidly from one to the other.

At least she looked at them "timidly".

It would be unbecoming of a lady to act like a New Woman.

After Flora shuttered, she starts crying and says:

"Oh, Heaven, have mercy upon me -- Heaven, have mercy upon me and save me from that dreadful form."

"There is no one here, Flora," said Mr. Marchdale,

There is:

Mr. Marchdale

Harry/Henry

George

Flora's mother

Two female servants

In total, there are six people in the room excluding Flora.

What Marchdale meant to say was there is nobody here that will harm her.

But as Mark Twain wisely said:

"but those who love you,

"If they really hated you, they would have buried you alive."

and who, in defence of you, if needs were would lay down their lives."

"Despite the fact that you have the personality of stale toast, we would die to save you."

Now that I'm thinking about it... If this was an Anita Blake book, this would result into a sex scene.

So after Mr. Marchdale's declaration, Flora starts yelling "Oh, God!"

"You have been terrified.

"Mr. Marchdale, why are you repeating the obvious?"

"It is because the authors think that the reader has the IQ of a house plant."

But tell us distinctly what has happened?

Gotta love how they must be told "distinctly".

I guess only peasants would only ask what happened.

You are quite safe now."

"Ignore the fact that while you were mauled by an unholy abomination, we bumblefucked around. But believe me when I say that everything is going to be alright."

She trembled so violently that

She resembled a chihuahua defecating on the lawn.

Mr. Marchdale recommended that some stimulant should be give to her,

Because even though the unholy creature will most likely return to try and suck Flora dry, it is best that she be high as a kite.

and she was persuaded,

Because it is like her mama taught her: when somebody offers free drugs, you accept the offer and then ask for a straw.

although not without considerable difficulty,

Because it was the first time, she stuck a needle in her vein.

to swallow a small portion of some wine from a cup.

Because drinking something is a strenuous task.

There could be no doubt but

First it was certain but now it isn't.

In conclusion:

that the stimulating effect of the wine

Alcohol is a depressant.

was beneficial,

Because when someone has been traumatized, the best thing to do is give them booze.

for a slight accession of colour

According to the Cambridge dictionary, "accession" is a time when a country officially joins a group of countries or signs an agreement. It is also used when someone starts a position of authority especially a king or queen.

While Merriam-Webster defines "accession" as a process that someone rises to a position of power or something being added (such as an acquisition).

Which means that "accession" is not a synonym for "spread" or "blushed."

So in conclusion:

visited her cheeks,

At least it visited her.

A churl would have arrived unannounced.

and she spoke in a firmer tone as she said, --

Spoke is past tense word for speak and said is a past tense word for say.

Both words are used when someone is talking.

Which makes this part of this sentence redundant: . . . colour visited her cheeks, and she spoke in a firmer tone as she said, --

Personally, I would remove re-write the sentence as this:

. . . colour visited her cheeks and she spoke in a firm voice.

"Do not leave me. Oh, do not leave me, any of you. I shall die if left alone now. Oh, save me -- save me. That horrible form! That fearful face!"

There is only so much melodrama that a person can endure, so I'll try to summarize some of it.

Henry asks Flora what happened. Flora then refuses to tell him.

Her reasoning? If she did that, then she would "ever sleep again."

Eventually, Henry convinces Flora to tell them what had transpired.

She placed her hands over her face for a moment, as if to collect her scattered thoughts,

Last time I checked...

If someone placed their hands over the face, it doesn't stop them from losing their train of thought.

and then she added, --

"By the way, I'm bi."

"I was awakened by the storm, and I saw that terrible apparition at the window. I think I screamed, but I could not fly. Oh, God! I could not fly. It came -- it seized me by the hair. I know no more. I know no more."

Uh "could not fly"?

Humans don't have wings. Flora should know this.

Honestly, it would make more sense if Flora said that she could not flee.

After Flora runs her hand across her neck several times, Marchdale notices that she has a wound.

After he points out the obvious, Flora's mom freaks out and brings a light closer to the bed. This causes them to all see the wound but it is now only two small puncture marks.

It was from these wounds the blood had come which was observable upon her night clothing.

Especially since the authors are hell bent on insisting that Flora's wounds are the size of paper cuts.

Since Henry has the same amount of brain cells as Bella Swan, he asks Flora how she got the wounds.

Of course, this causes Flora to reply that she doesn't know but it felt like she "almost bled to death."

"You cannot have done so, dear Flora, for there are not above half-a-dozen spots of blood to be seen at all."

When Varney bit her, blood gushed.

That does not cause pinprick stains.

Mr. Marchdale leaned against the carved head of the bed for support, and he uttered a deep groan. All eyes were turned upon him,

Instead of focusing on the vampire victim, we should care about this guy being so anguished.

and Henry said, in a voice of the most anxious inquiry, --

"Have you something to say, Mr. Marchdale, which will throw some light upon this affair."

Instead of a period, there should be a question mark since Henry/Harry is asking Mr. Marchdale something.

Mr. Marchdale then insists that he has nothing to say and that Flora should get some sleep.

"No sleep -- no sleep for me," again screamed Flora. "Dare I be alone to sleep?"

Anywho… Henry assures Flora that she won't be alone because he will watch over her.

She took his hand in both hers, and while the tears chased each other down her cheeks, she said, –

"Promise me, Henry, by all your hopes of Heaven, you will not leave me."

"I promise."

Henry and Flora are siblings.

....

................

Somewhere Cassandra Clare is all hot and bothered.

Anywho…

Flora laid down, sighed, and then closed her eyes.

"She is weak, and will sleep long," said Mr. Marchdale.

Two things.

Flora being weak? No shit Sherlock.

As for Flora sleeping soundly? That depends. She could have a nightmare and wake up.

"You sigh," said Henry.

Marchdale didn't sigh. Flora did.

"Some fearful thoughts, I feel certain, oppress your heart."

It can't oppress the heart of the mailman who lives at the end of the street.

"Hush -- hush!" said Mr. Marchdale, as he pointed to Flora. "Hush! not here -- not here."

"I understand," said Henry.

"Let her sleep."

Can she though?

I don’t know about you, but if people were in my bedroom talking and yelling…

It would wake me up.

It turns out that Flora is in a deep slumber. Hard to believe, I know.

The idiots are quiet for a minutes before George says something.

He tells Mr. Marchdale to look at it.

He pointed to the portrait in the frame to which we have alluded,

Translation: Wink wink! The portrait that we subtly pointed out is significant.

and the moment Marchdale looked at it

He thought: "Man, that picture is nightmare fuel."

he sunk into a chair

Because as it turns out, it was a bean bag chair.

as he exclaimed, -- "Gracious Heaven, how like!"

Aside from being redundant...

It is also cringe-worthy.

"It is -- it is," said Henry. "Those eyes -- "

"Pierce right though me."

"I wonder if he is related to my mother in law."

"And see the contour of the countenance,

According to Merriam Webster, contour is a structure of something or is an outline of a irregular figure.

Usually, contour is used to describe architecture or a shape of a car.

Which means the right word to use would be silhouette not contour.

In conclusion:

and the strange shape of the mouth."

"Who knew that someone can have a hexagon shaped mouth?"

"Exact -- exact."

Why is he saying the same word twice?

"That picture shall be moved from here.

The correct word is portrait.

A picture can be a representation of a building, a landscape, or a person.

While a portrait is a painting or a picture of a person, especially the head and the shoulders.

In conclusion?

The sight of it is at once sufficient to awaken all her former terrors in poor Flora's brain if she should chance to awaken and cast her eyes suddenly upon it."

Too verbose.

It would be better if he just said "The sight of it will frighten Flora if she wakes up and looks at the portrait."

"And is it so like him who came here?" said the mother.

Why does everyone in the story have the same amount of brain cells as Bella Swan?

In case you are wondering, Bella has four brain cells.

Of course Marchdale confirms that yes, it is the same person.

"I have not been in this house long enough to ask any of you whose portrait that may be?"

Wait a tick...

Marchdale is a friend of Flora's mother.

So he must have been to the house multiple times.

Which means that the first part of the sentence is absolute horseshit.

As for the second part?

It makes sense that Marchdale didn't see the portrait since it is in Flora's bedroom.

A man entering a lady's bedroom that isn't a doctor would have created a scandal.

"It is," said Henry, "the portrait of Sir Runnagate Bannerworth, an ancestor of ours, who first, by his vices, gave the great blow to the family prosperity."

"Sir Runnagate Bannerworth"?

Reginald, Reynard, and Rupert are actual names.

Runnagate is not.

A quick Google search reveals that runagate is a word meaning "runaway", "vagabond", or "fugitive".

So bravo authors.

You have the subtlety of Stephenie Meyer.

"Indeed. How long ago?"

"About ninety years."

"Ninety years. 'Tis a long while -- ninety years."

It is really annoying when characters repeat stuff that that the reader already knows.

Aside from being redundant...

It is also treats the reader like they are an idiot who need everything to be spelled out in 72 pt Times New Roman font.

"You muse upon it."

"No, no. I do wish, and yet I dread -- "

"What?"

"To say something to you all. But not here -- not here. We will hold a consultation on this matter to-morrow. Not now -- not now."

Part of this chapter was dedicated to talking about Flora and the vampire.

'Ello continuity error!

Anyway... Henry tells everyone else they can go to bed because he is going to watch over Flora.

Of course, he describes it keeping "my sacred promise". Can anyone say melodramatic?

Henry also adds that "The daylight is coming quickly on."

"I will fetch you my powder-flask and bullets," said Mr. Marchdale; "and you can, if you please, reload the pistols. In about two hours more it will be broad daylight."

First, the daylight is quickly approaching.

But now it is going to appear in two hours.

Which is it authors?

This arrangement was adopted.

It was placed with a loving family.

Henry did reload the pistols, and placed them on a table by the side of the bed, ready for immediate action,

In other words...

You only reload a gun if you are intending to use it.

and then, as Flora was sleeping soundly,

It is still pretty impressive that she is sleeping...

Considering the fact that people are talking and moving around.

all left the room but himself. Mrs. Bannerworth was the last to do so.

She would have remained,

Because mommy dearest was busy reading the newspaper.

but for the earnest solicitation of Henry,

At least the solicitation was sincere.

Because if it wasn't, it should be refused out of principle.

that she would endeavour to get some sleep to make up for her broken night's repose,

...

..........

Why can't the authors just say that Henry pleaded with his mother go to bed?

It is much more concise than this verbose sentence.

and she was indeed so broken down by her alarm on Flora's account,

How is this surprising?

It would be alarming if Flora's mother acted annoyed that Flora survived.

that she had not power to resist,

Before, Flora's mom wanted to stay.

Now she can't wait to leave.

Because only losers care about consistency!

but with tears flowing from her eyes,

Um...

Do tears flow anywhere else?

she sought her own chamber.

How is that unusual? People usually have their own bedroom.

Unless they are sharing a room with someone.

...

Now I can't help but wonder if Flora's mother wanted to spend the night with Marchdale.

Think that couldn't happen? Plenty of bad romance novels have a scene where a man comforts a woman and it results in sex.

And now the calmness of the night

There was inclement weather.

Hell, it was described as being the storm of the century.

resumed its sway

At least it swayed.

We don't want it standing idly by.

in that evil-fated mansion;

Because any horror writer knows, a good story always sucks the suspense out!

and although no one really slept but Flora,

Because most people would be sleeping soundly after a monster entered their home and attacked someone!

all were still.

They were practicing the pose used by many Mary Sues: wait around until life showers them with happiness.

Busy thought kept every one else wakeful.

And in other news: people will eventually die and karma is a bitch.

It was a mockery to lie down at all,

They all must have hated Flora.

Because they are "still."

and Henry, full of strange and painful feelings as he was,

If this was a Philippa Gregory novel, these emotions would be incestuous.

preferred his present position

Because angst makes him feel alive!

to the anxiety and apprehension

That the reader is supposed to be feeling but frankly doesn't give a damn.

on Flora's account

Rather than the account of Miss Smith, a spinster who is the local librarian.

which he knew he should feel if she were not within the sphere of his own observation,

...

Because two pistols are enough to stop a member of the Undead. Logic be damned!

and she slept as soundly

All thanks to Nyquil!

as some gentle infant tired of its playmates and its sports.

Because a vampire victim should be compared to a tired infant.

*Takes a deep breath *

Thankfully, this chapter finally ends.

#varney the vampire #book snark #bad fiction #chapter snark #snark

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alternislatronemhq · 4 years

Photo

Congrats, CHRISTIE, you have been accepted to AL for the role of LUCINDA TALKALOT (FC: Alisha Wainwright). Ah, Christie, excellent job! You’ve taken a character that isn’t much more than a name in this verse and brought her to life! I love your portrayal of her and am so excited to see how she adds to our little group!! Please send in your blog (no sideblogs for first characters, please) in the next 24 hours and be sure to take a look at our new player checklist. Welcome home (once again), we’re so excited to have you join the family!

OOC

name — christie age — 20 pronouns — she/her timezone — gmt+3

any questions? — If I could just ignore the fact she was Quidditch captain during her time at Hogwarts that would be amazing just because it doesn’t quite fit my interpretation of Lucinda. Oh, wait, that’s not a question. Pretty please?

IC Overview

name — Lucinda Talkalot faceclaim — Alisha Wainwright age — 27 (9th of January) gender — Cis-female sexuality — Homosexual

patronus — A greyhound – much like Lucinda, the greyhound is intelligent and gentle, though often accused of passivity. What might be perceived as laziness and indifference, however, is simply a very careful and precise distribution of time and energy – after all, why waste your time on something you don’t care about when you could be working on achieving your real goals?

[tw: claustrophobia] boggart — Herself, stuck in a small space with no means of escaping. Lucinda is claustrophobic and usually, she can deal with tiny spaces as long as they provide some sort of an exit, be it a door or a window, but if they are locked or sealed, her claustrophobia gets triggered. It should be noted, though, that even in the event where she manages to keep her anxiety under control, she still would prefer to avoid small spaces altogether.

IC In Depth

personality traits —

( + ) Intelligent: Lucinda’s intelligence isn’t innate as is that of the Ravenclaws she remembers from her Hogwarts days, the ones who would just understand concepts and ideas with little if any explanation. Lucinda, on the other hand, needs all the guidance her professors provide and makes use of all available books on the subjects she’s interested in. Her intelligence comes from hard work, from days spent hunched over old dusty tomes, from sheer ambition to learn and to become somebody.

( + ) Driven: It’s the Slytherin in her that would stop at nothing to achieve her goals. If Lucinda Talkalot wants something, she’ll get it. She’d wanted to do well on her NEWTs, she’d done it. She’d wanted to become an Unspeakable, she’d done it. The one regard in which her ambition doesn’t seem to help is the social aspect of her life, but oh, well, nobody’s perfect.

( + ) Accepting: Lucy knows what it feels like not to be accepted, be it for her blood or for her sexuality, and she would never want anybody else to feel like that around her. Even though she’s not the best in social situations, one thing one can always rely on with her is to remain open-minded and willing to listen.

( - ) Reserved: Books don’t ask you about your day nor do they require an explanation as to why you did what you did; they’re just there. People don’t work quite like that, Lucy knows, but she still has trouble putting herself out there and speaking her mind. After all, what does she have to offer in conversation? She’s not funny, she’s not charming, and she quite literally can’t speak about her job.

( - ) Single-minded: She tells herself it’s justified, with how important her work is, but the truth is Lucinda is almost cut-off from the world. The downside of her ambition is that she’s so focused on her goals that she can’t see anything beyond them; even with Voldemort, she knows he was dangerous, but she never quite understood just how dangerous. But what does it matter anyway? After all, he’s a thing of the past.

( - ) Tactless: It’s not that she’s not aware of social etiquette, it’s just that she sometimes forgets to follow it. She doesn’t choose her words carefully, instead they slip out of her the same way her mother’s old china had slipped between her fingers when she’d been a child – without meaning to, unrefined and sharp. She doesn’t mean to be rude, by any means, but she’s also never been known to sugarcoat anything.

character biography —

Margaret Talkalot always had a vision of how her only daughter’s life would go. Lucinda would attend the same school she did – the only school in town – and then would later attend university in the big city where she would meet a nice, hopefully wealthy man who with whom she would have two children, a boy and a girl, and live happily ever after. It’s a manifestation of everything her mother didn’t get, Lucy realises years later – she’d never got the chance to leave their tiny town, her husband had left her soon after Lucinda’s birth and Margaret hadn’t had other children. (But even to little Lucinda, those fairy tales of princes and princesses didn’t sound appealing – at least the princes didn’t)

Fortunately for her, her mother’s plan started to unravel as soon as Lucinda’s eleventh birthday rolled around. A small white envelope held promises Lucy had never even dreamt to ask for and she’d begged and pleaded her mother to let her go. It’d taken a while to convince her but come September 1st, Lucy was on the train set to Hogwarts.

The castle is absolutely magical in a way that had nothing to do with actual magic. She’s sorted into Slytherin and her housemates give her weird looks as she goes to sit at their table, but that’s fine, the kids back home looked at her weird too. In any case, it’s not nearly enough to dampen her excitement and Lucy spends her first year walking on clouds. The following years she wants to try everything, from Quidditch to Frog Choir, and she does, but… it’s not quite what she imagined. She doesn’t have the experience other kids do with Quidditch, and her face flushes every time she has to sing in front of her peers. It’s okay though, because the library is just as magical and soon Lucy starts spending most of her time there.

She gets good grades, she’s on par with the Ravenclaws, and she wishes sometimes that she was sorted into Ravenclaw instead. Perhaps then she would’ve had more friends? But then she sees Ravenclaws during class, with their clever, understanding eyes, and feels inadequate as she struggles to keep up with the torrent of information. She perseveres. So what if she has to work three times as hard as Beatrice Galloway to get the same grades? She’s not scared of hard work. (She is scared, however, of the way her stomach flutters whenever Beatrice smiles at her. Not because of the feelings she stirs inside of Lucy, but because she knows her mother won’t be happy to learn about them. And Lucinda’s already disappointed her by going to a magical school instead of a “normal” one. Can she disappoint her like that too?)

Turns out, she can. At eighteen, Lucinda passes her NEWTs with flying colours and emboldened by that, she tells her mother she’s not interested in boys. Her arguments sound childish even to her own ears (they’re crass, and smelly, and annoying and she just doesn’t like them, okay?), but they’re true enough and eventually, Margaret stops trying to convince her otherwise. She says she accepts it, but Lucy knows better; her mother is still waiting for the day Lucinda will “come to her senses” and settle down with a man.

The knowledge of it weighs down on her heart, but she’s also never been happier, as though her mother had been the last frontier before freedom. And in the Wizarding World, she’s flourishing – she gets an internship at the Ministry and a few years later, she becomes an Unspeakable. There’s a war raging outside her office, but Lucinda is too busy scribbling down test results and experiment proposal to glance out of the window.

Eventually, it all ends and as relieved as Lucy is, she also can’t deny she feels guilty – but then she reminds herself there’s nothing she could’ve done anyway, except perhaps bored Voldermort to death with theories of how the brain functions.

plot ideas —

I’d love to get Lucy involved with the Order at a later point! In general, the way I envision her character arc (which is always subject to change as time goes on, of course) is that a big part of it would involve her getting out of her office and returning to the world as a whole. That includes becoming more aware of everything going on, becoming more involved in it as she realises she does have more to offer than dry facts she’s read in a book.

Getting her a social life! A bit self-explanatory but as established, Lucy isn’t the best at forming friendship so naturally, I’d love to see her put in a situation where she does end up doing that. Especially with people who challenge her way of thinking. (Also I’ll just throw it out there, but she deserves a girlfriend.)

Some sort of work-related plot seems inevitable too considering how much of her life is spent in her office. Whether that would be potential colleagues (chats by the coffee machine are probably interesting when neither party can talk about their job) or maybe someone who knows more than they’re supposed to (in which case I would love to explore Lucy’s reaction and how she would deal with that). Just about all and any workplace plots!

extra —

Some headcanons:

Throughout this app I’ve been referring to Lucinda both as Lucinda and as Lucy, which I personally see like a very Hercules situation in the sense of:

Meg: Megara. My friends call me Meg. At least they would if I had any friends.

Lucy works in the Department of Mysteries, as previously established, but to elaborate on that, she works primarily in the Thought Chamber. I say primarily because due to the door connecting the Thought and Death Chambers, I’m running with the assumption that their spheres of study are also connected and thus Lucinda sometimes has to visit the Death Chamber too.

(Also I really like the irony of Lucy studying brains, but not being good with people. Like, “I understand your brain, but you I just don’t get.”)

Furthermore, since her job is so centred around minds, she’s also picked up a few skills outside of Hogwarts’ curriculum. Lucinda is an Occlumens, though she struggles with Legilimency. She can only perform it under very particular circumstances, including an intense focus on her part and total silence of the room, so she is almost entirely unable to use it outside of the Thought Chamber. [This is, of course, subject to change if you feel like it might be too much power.]

Lastly, she just gets very flustered around women.

#harry potter rp #hp rp #marauders era rp #marauders rp #al:accepted #lucinda talkalot

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yaknevarsa-blog · 5 years

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Dear Internet: How I'd Stop SOPA

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rfield87 · 3 years

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Writing Advice from Best-Selling Authors: Jason Reynolds

This week’s re-blog was written by J.D. Myall and is titled: Sunny Author Jason Reynolds on Publishing, Writing, and Advice for New Writers. It was published on July 20, 2018. If you would like to read the original post on the Writer’s Digest website, I will leave the link below.

https://www.writersdigest.com/be-inspired/jason-reynolds-author-sunny-writing-publishing-advice-new-authors

Sunny Author Jason Reynolds on Writing, Publishing and Advice for New Writers

Award-winning YA novelist Jason Reynolds has cemented his place in literary history with titles like When I Was the Greatest, The Boy in the Black Suit and Long Way Down. Here we talk to Jason about writing, publishing and his advice for new authors.

Jason Reynolds is one of the most gifted YA novelists of this time. With titles like When I Was the Greatest, The Boy in the Black Suit and Long Way Down, Reynolds has cemented his place in literary history.

Recently, Reynolds had three titles on the New York Times Best Seller list at the same time. He has been honored with a collection of awards, including several Coretta Scott King Book Award honors, an NAACP Image Award, and his novel Long Way Down has won the Edgar Award. He’s been a National Book Award finalist and has graced stages with Ta-Nehisi Coates and Rep. Jon Lewis. Reynolds has also been featured in the pages of People magazine. He has appeared on television shows such as The Daily Show with Trevor Noah. Here we talk to Jason about writing, publishing and his advice for new authors.

What was your life like, pre-book?

I was a happy shop worker. I got to dress nice going to work every day and I liked that. I saw people at these high-end stores in New York City making a lot of money. I would have been happy to do that, but I wouldn’t have been reaching my full potential.

Best advice you have heard on writing?

Sharon Draper told me that to write a novel is to climb Mount Everest. When you climb Mount Everest, the whole time you’re thinking, I don’t think I can make it. When you reach the top, you think, now I know I can climb Mount Everest. But what you don’t account for is that on your way down all the footholds change. So, when you climb again it’s not the same route. It’s difficult all over again...every time it’s a new climb.

Do you have any advice for new authors on creating a satisfying ending and a thrilling beginning?

My uncle use to say that the good books begin with “...and shots rang out.” Shots rang out is a cliche, but what he meant is that no one has time for you to get us to the minefield. Drop us in the minefield in the beginning. Drop us off in the mix and you can move backward and forward from there. End in the mix. Don’t answer any questions. Leave me in the muck at the end, too. There can be less muck, but all the loose ends shouldn’t be tied up. There should be something unreconciled. That’s life. Nobody’s life is tied up in a bow. Stories that end in a bow are kind of disrespectful to the reader. If you want your story to be compelling, let it fade to black without reconciliation.

How do you know when a novel is finished?

You always end it a chapter early.

What has novel writing taught you?

Patience. Diligence. Every time you write a novel it’s like writing one for the first time.

Your poetry is amazing. Do you have any advice for writing poetry that connects with readers?

You have to be honest. You have to choose words that breathe. It doesn’t have to necessarily be correct English, but you need words with life. Gwendolyn Brooks once had a list of goals that was published. One of them said she wanted to speak proper English. One of her most popular poems was “We Real Cool.” That’s not what anybody would call proper English, but those words breathed.

You have collaborated on writing with editors and writers. What is the key to making a collaboration work effectively?

Humility. If we are collaborating, we both need to only work for the good of the product. Nothing is sacred to me. If my best line has to get sacrificed for the good of the project, I am not in fear that I’ll never have another good line. If my editor says, “this isn’t working,” and she explains why it’s not working...it’s just not working. It’s that simple. I want to create the best thing. I don’t always know how to make the best thing by myself. Sometimes I can be way too close to something...to actually see it.

How did you connect with Marvel to write Miles Morales: Spider-Man? And can you tell us about the project?

They called me. I wish I had some romantic story about it. I was writing a lot of young, black urban males and they wanted a Spider-Man like that. They reached out to me. Then, I had to think about what that would mean. What are superpowers? Heightened senses? All of our mothers have taught us to have those, so we can stay safe in the hood. I had to ask myself what the kid’s neighbors and family are like. How does it feel to wear a mask and then take that mask off and still feel like you’re not seen? For a kid like this, his super villain would be while supremacy. So, I had to figure out how to change that thought into a comic book.

Tell me the story behind the story. How did your current novels, For Everyone and Sunny, come to be? What are they about?

Sunny is the third book of the track series. I wanted to explore what it means to be black and to be strange...I think our kids deserve to be able to stretch out imaginatively and live their best lives...even if that means being a little left of center. It’s beautiful to tell a story like that.

The other one is called For Everyone. It was basically a love letter wrote to myself when I was twenty-five years old. I decide to quit writing. It was like a curtain call, a sun setting on my career. Looking back on it, (that thinking) was very melodramatic. I thought I’m twenty-five years old and this is it for me. I’m Done. So, I was writing what it feels like to fail. Then, over the course of the two- or three-year process of writing it (things) evolved. It became less about failure and more about what it feels like to want something. We often look at freedom as attaining something. Really, it’s the ability to even have the gumption and the space to dream you could have it in the fist place.

Do your current novels address social issues? If so what themes or messages were you hoping to convey to readers in regard to those issues?

For Everything addresses the fear of living a full life. Sunny addresses depression and grief...and the breakdown of a family due to a young person’s misunderstanding of their parents. Parents are human. They deal with things like grief, depression and anxiety. To a young person that can feel like dismissal, abandonment, and other things.

Looking back what do you think you did right that helped you to become the novelist you are today?

Be honest. When I was 21, my first editor said that my intuition would take me further than my education ever would. She said what she knew about me was that I had a golden gut. I could put on a page that what felt good to me. I don’t care about the rules. If it feels good, I go with it and that hasn’t let me down yet.

How has your life changed since publication?

I feel more responsibility about what I put out in the world because a lot of people are going to read it. I feel more pressure so there are moments when it isn’t as fun. Moments when this feels like a job. I am appreciative and the fun is there, but there are times when it feels like a job. I’m on the road 100 days a year. Visiting schools, speaking at events, but I have to show up and be the Jason that everyone came to see. It’s hard on me and it’s hard on my family...but you can’t show that.

What are the biggest surprises and learning experiences that you discovered during the publishing journey?

How hard it is. The editors are like collaborators. They do a lot of work, but most writers don’t give them enough credit. (I’ve also learned) how hard it is to sell books. I would encourage everyone to go outside and try to sell fifty things to strangers and see how difficult it is. People underestimate how difficult it is...so when you land on a (bestseller) list it can feel like a miracle.

How do you respond to finding out you made the New York Times Best Sellers List? How do you celebrate?

I don’t celebrate things that have to do with me. I celebrate other people. My National Book Award medal is in a desk. My awards are in boxes. When those things happen, it’s awesome. But there is so much work to be done. I don’t have time to bask in it...People who drink their own Kool-Aid have their career cut short. I can’t believe my own hype. It’s cool to have people say nice things about me. But I have work to do.

Your novel Long Way Down was optioned for film by Universal, with John Legend scheduled to produce it. How involved will you be in that?

I don’t know. I would like to be in the room. I’d like to consult. There are slippery parts of the book I would like to be sure they understand, but other than that, I am not a movie maker. I don’t have that weird thing authors have (when they say), “Don’t ruin my book.” No one can ruin my book because it already exists. What they are creating is a different product. Having that distance helps you enjoy the process.

What matters more to you as an author: winning awards or making best sellers list?

What matters most is creating a book that will withstand. I am here to make art, but if I had to pick between the two, I would pick the awards because awards last forever. Bestsellers are nice, but you may only be on there a week. You’re only as good as what comes out that week. If you make that list and the next week Stephen King or John Green come out it’s a wrap for you. You ain’t on there no more. I think Long Way Down was on (The New York Times Best Sellers List) for seven weeks...but it won the Walter Award, and that’s forever.

Final advice for aspiring writers?

Excellence is habit. The way you live your life is the way you approach your novels...If you work to be great at every part of your life, writing a novel will feel natural for you. Excellence can’t be turned off.

What’s up next for you?

I want to work on a contemporary adult novel. Sunny and For Everyone are available now and I will continue to work hard and put out more books. I want people to scratch their heads wondering how I can put out so many books at this level. I’m my own competition...I’ll keep trying to best myself and try to be of service to others.

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