#socially ambivalent

[io-archival]

Social Flags

(note: this was originally coined by coinings-of-aquarius, on a blog which has since been terminated. the archive is here. this post will only contain plaintext.)

Socially Favourable | Socially Indifferent

Socially Repulsed | Socially Averse | Socially Ambivalent

Socially Oscillating | Socially Drained

#social flags #social attraction #socially favorable #socially ambivalent #socially drained #socially oscillating #socially averse #socially repulsed #socially indifferent #label #label archival #terminated #mogai archival #liom archival #no id

[perenial]

started a storygraph acct btw. if u want to uhhhh look @ books im reading

#gene.txt #im kinda ambivalent on book-related social media but hey at least the stats are interesting

[mbti-notes]

I'm a 22 year old INTP worrying about social anxiety on a regular basis. The irony is that I have a few decent set of friends and family, and I feel comfortable around them, but for everyone else, I constantly worry if I've done something wrong, even if there's no sign of that. Though my Ti allows me to detach from emotions enough that by behavior, I don't really let my insecurities control any of my decisions, yet my mind keeps thinking of all the possibilities with Ne. Nothing's wrong, so why?

You seem to be expressing a troubling contradiction. Is there or isn't there something "wrong"? If "nothing's wrong", why worry and why should I bother to answer you? If something's wrong, why "detach" and try to pretend a problem doesn't exist? Nothing may be wrong externally but that doesn't mean something isn't wrong internally. The two don't necessarily link together. Generally speaking, when people get trapped in a psychological contradiction, it means they're unable/unwilling to face up to the real issue or the root of the matter. As a result, there are no clear answers and no clear path forward, so they stay stuck in a rut of ambivalence.

Your question is about emotional life, which relates to emotional intelligence. What do you understand about feelings and emotions? Do you believe they just come out of nowhere for no reason? Do you believe that a stranger like me knows better than you about the contents of your mind? If so, it indicates a troubling lack of self-awareness that needs to be remedied through improving your emotional intelligence (see the dedicated articles). Feelings express something important about you, so not listening to them means not really knowing yourself. And how can you care well for yourself when you're blind to the truth of yourself?

Worry is often related to hope. To hope is to set up excitement and expectation for a desired outcome, as visualized through Ne, so misusing Ne is usually related to fear of hopes getting dashed. Such fear commonly manifests as worry, as intrusive thoughts about negative outcomes or worst-case scenarios.

It's important to remember that intrusive thoughts aren't really "thoughts" but feelings in disguise. The more a person resists feelings, the more the feelings are forced to take a disguised form to get through, such as repetitive thoughts or physical ailments. There is a message being conveyed by negative feelings and emotions, and they will keep intruding upon you until you are willing to hear it. Feelings aren't "irrational". There is logic behind them, but you must reflect in order to grasp their meaning.

For example, why do people feel socially anxious? Oftentimes, the anxiety is merely the surface, conscious experience of something deeper going on. What is the deeper issue? It could be any number of things depending on the individual, such as:

Self-worth issues or fear of being inadequate: Does it not make sense to worry about doing something off-putting or offensive when you're hoping for people to accept/like/love you?

Self-esteem issues or fear of failure: Does it not make sense to worry about making a mistake when you're hoping to put your best self on display?

Emotional avoidance issues or fear of hurt: Does it not make sense to prepare for the worst when socializing is risky and unpredictable and could lead to a painful rejection?

Unresolved feelings from the past: Does it not make sense to feel apprehensive in social situations when you've been wounded by many negative interactions throughout life?

If getting stuck in a psychological contradiction means you are unable/unwilling to address the real issue, then resolving the contradiction involves finally facing up to it. For some people, this means learning to acknowledge, accept, and embrace their weaknesses, aka, all the things that are "wrong" with you. Taking the above issues as examples, the contradiction you are trapped in might indicate that you don't really want to admit the true extent of:

how much you really want people to accept/like/love you

how little faith you have in yourself or your social abilities

how ill-equipped you are to handle painful feelings/emotions

how you haven't really healed from previous hurts/harms

Unless you're willing to physically damage your brain, feelings and emotions can't be stopped. But they can be understood and interpreted and laid to rest intelligently. The first step in addressing a psychological issue is to be honest about what's really happening, to admit the problem. I'm not a mindreader. I can't tell you exactly what deeper issue lies behind your insecurity. It's up to you to reflect and tell the whole truth to yourself. Once you get to the very heart of the matter, a better path forward should reveal itself.

#intp #auxiliary ne #inferior fe #social anxiety #ambivalence #intrusive thoughts #insecurity #emotional intelligence #ask

[revenant-coining]

Social Stances

[ IDs in alt text ]

In order: ambivalent, averse, drained, favorable, indifferent, oscillating, repulsed.

@radiomogai

#interaction stance #social stance #social ambivalent #social averse #social drained #social favorable #social indifferent #social oscillating #social repulsed #liom #mogai #requested #🪼 creations #category: flags

[craycraybluejay]

Anouther is the most chaotic neutral being, isn't hy?

#anoutherposting #chaotic neutral #'i do what i want' personified #true neutral could work too but i dont follow rules and regulations because i believe in it i do it if and when it benefits me #i do believe most people fall on lawful something or other #a lot of people kinda just like to be commanded and do as they're told #which ik is absolutely Normal in the human race but will never understand regardless #maybe it's just bc anyone who's ever tried to make a decision for me or force me into making a decision has been badawful #so the concept of obeying is a foreign and alien intrusion #but power is so easy to abuse that idrc how i got to be the person i am #i am just happy that i do not give more than i take in most cases #people in general are both selfish and communal. selfishness is not inherently bad or wrong-- it is alive #selfishness can prompt us to work and care for others just as much as The Social Instinct #and i'm honestly more comfortable with people who have accepted that they can be selfish and thats okay #both giving and accepting help is selfish. but we can all agree it is inherently good to help each other #so basically like every other human thing selfishness is ambivalent and has both positive and negative applications #idk where i'm going with this essay mx.

[glorious-spoon]

.

#still kinda ambivalent on the whole concept of therapy #like the dude is very nice and reasonably insightful and i do clearly have some form of Brain Don't Work Right disease #but it's also like ok you aren't telling me anything i don't already know about myself #i know what's BROKEN what i don't fucking know is how to FIX it #also weirdly on about social class like 'oh your dad sounds like a rough kind of blue collar guy' like no #my dad is a very smart and well-educated retired white-collar professional with the emotional regulation skills of a small child #my spouse is a blue collar guy who is preternaturally laid back #these two items are not all that related actually! #anyway i'll do a few more sessions and see if i feel like continuing ig

[capfalcon]

twitter this elon that i dont give a fuck

#i cannot encapsulate the sheer fucking ambivalence i have #i just #i STUDY social media i work in media i love it i hate it its how i plan to make a living #but i just- #things come and go!!!!!!! #like im sorry im not upset over an app that lists its trending topics like #'nazis' 'world cup' 'taylor swift' 'university shooting' like thats just #an app that encourages strong takes and no nuance #an app that literally is a festering cespool of people spewing their opinions and if you disagree its a keyboard fest to see who can yell #the meanest or loudest things #its so Stupid #and yes i get that people make money of it and i get that ppl have platforms #but i really am just not sorry about it dying #jordan rants

[onceuponanaromantic]

ok Nobody Asked but tbh I feel like TS’ cultural phenomenon is because she was great at capitalising on white feminism AND because she was great at paratextual strategies in a moment where the culture of the Internet was really shifting and parasocial relationships with celebrities were becoming a big thing thanks to the rise of social media as marketing.

and this is not to say that her work is like inherently bad or wtv but like it’s kind of similar to how HP became such a big thing because of how people used it as a way to form communities around online when fandom was really shifting and that’s how it became such a huge phenomenon that people are… really emotionally attached to to the point that criticising it + JKR used to be really hard (and honestly it hasn’t actually become that much easier it’s just that her transphobia is So Blatant)

Anyway, as previously mentioned, Nobody Asked but… yeah marketing and the Anglosphere and like really just being at the right place at the right time AND knowing how to capitalise on shifts in culture… yeah.

#tbh I could go on about how her drip feeding and Easter eggs is a great way of Priming #and her social media game is very very good at creating that sense of intimacy and interest #and a lot of it capitalises specifically on the perception of her as an Innocent White WomanTM #syl’s ramblings #about her actual music I’m… ambivalent #that’s all I’ll say #oh if u want to know more just like send me an ask or whatever I just refuse to use her name

[ginminowas]

btw i think calling floofty a homewrecker is funny and all (i do it fully hc’ing theyve never dated anyone in their life. they have science to do) but i do see the thing with them and eggabell being like. they clearly do not have friends and less so people who help or are interested in their work and so got really attached to eggabell. idk how to articulate my thoughts on this i think floofty is lonely someone else say it better cuz im schtoopid

#i Can imagine them thinking they have a one sided crush on her if they never really had friends before tbh LOL #i dont ship them btw but im ambivalent on lizegg/floofty im just thinkin #also ik theres triffany but she never does experiments w them smfh.. #i dont exactly think theyve always been friendless but. they make it harder for themself #i also imagine getting fired and the smear campaign against them + snorpy probably couldve fucked up their social life too #i have some thoughts on that #post snaktooth theres a whiteboard in their apartment saying ''0 days since floofty insulted friends intelligence'' they suck at this!! #blah blah blah i wish i was better at articulating my intricate mind. oh well. meow meow meow meow meow

[gideonisms]

I should get married for convenience just like this girl in the show. My brother and his wife pay under $500 a month because he had a friend who wanted to help out a lovely newlywed couple. Well I am lovely. Who wants to marry me for the benefits (financial)

#life of #if i found someone to conveniently fall in love with and sleep in the same room with i could go from paying 1000 to 500. #only problem? well i hate circumstances and speaking to people i fake enjoyment of my social encounters 90% of the time irl. #anddd i really think about gay necromancers more than the average person does. like there is a lot of brain space devoted there #much more than is devoted to anything practical. #i burned frozen chicken dumplings today! #oh wait! #good qualities: i can bake bread somehow? i can patch a tire. change a tire. solve ur tire related issues #certified pest extinguisher! pest removal in every living situation i've ever been in #do dishes pretty frequently now #know how to make rum and coke. will probably not notice if your habits are strange #dogs love me children are ambivalent to friendly towards me #i would be delighted to proofread all your papers and ask questions or make suggestions if wanted #have never started a fistfight in the supermarket despite really really wanting to #hot if you squint! #wife material come get me!

[caracalliope]

60: Dragons, dinosaurs, or aliens?

It used to be dragons because I had a Smaug problem, but now it's aliens because I have an even bigger Homestuck problem

#All I need is 1. a complex and overly hierarchical social system and 2. weird sex stuff #Unfortunately most dragons do not fully provide this #I'm a big though ambivalent fan of Jo Walton's dragon Regency sex books!!

[mortalityplays]

I know you have all probably seen the esims for gaza posts circulating. Some of you have probably looked at them and thought maybe you should help out, but have weighed up the daunting process of signing up for something you're unfamiliar with vs. the gut-wrenching scale of the things people are going through on the ground right now, and you've put it off or questioned whether it will make enough of a difference vs. some other future kind of activism you could put that $6+ towards. I'm not calling you out or scolding you, it is natural to feel conflicted and ambivalent about the multiple calls for aid that you are seeing on social media.

but consider this: what would you do if you suddenly had to leave your home? how would you cope? how would you begin to plan where to go next, or figure out what to do to take care of yourself? most likely you would reach reflexively for your phone.

telecoms access is not a petty luxury in 2024. a loaded esim means the ability to call family members and find out where they are and whether they're safe, and whether they need anything you can provide for them. it means access to maps and regular updates on the situation unfolding around you. it means you can look up whether it's safe to drink rain water, or how to tie a type of knot you've never had to think about before, or how to treat an injury without medical supplies. it means the ability to tell people outside the situation what you are seeing, what you are feeling, what you are thinking. it is an absolutely crucial resource. and it starts at $6 for 7 days.

many many people have observed that internet access is changing the way the world understands genocide. internet access is life or death, and it is shaping modern history in front of you. and it starts at $6 for 7 days.

please, please visit gazaesims.com and spend 5 minutes and $6 to change the way this plays out for everyone.

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hi, I'm a male Intj (20yrs) and I really appreciate the work you put out here. I seem to struggle opening myself to others or let people close to my life.

This maybe is due to being sheltered as a child because my mother and grandmother were afraid of the harshness of the world (kidnapping, stranger danger, shooting, etc.) would negatively my mindset but also expect me to socialize while being hidden away from the world.

I did grew up with 2 cousins, one is a year younger than me (Infp) and the other who is a year older than me (Entj), I was the middle child of the two. My Entj cousin likes to poke at my flaws at every chance he gets such calling me ugly, stupid, and even goes out of his way to berate my introverted nature. (Inferior Fi) Me being the level headed yet emotional of the two would try and retaliate his attacks but would fail everytime because my family sees it as a sign of disrespect or he would always find a way for a harsher combat.

He has grew out of that phase and has nutured his Inferior Fi over the years and I learn to not take things personally over the years but the doubt and insecurity is still present within me whenever I try to find opportunities in friendships or relationships.

I don't mind helping my peers in a project that requires thorough planning, action and execution of a project. (Ni-Te) But I would not necessarily connect with my peers on a deeper level even with potential relationship opportunities, I would most likely move on without a second thought.

This is also prevalent in my church group that I participated in to help them with the music but I will still remain emotionally closed because I don't see the need to socialize with my peers but I also don't want to end up feeling lonely.

I have a fear of abandonment since I was child because the friendship I tried making has failed often due to lack of interest (sports or social trends they like to talk about) or I would feel as if they don't appreciate being me as a person and would only befriend me out of pity. (Which is something I do not like)

I normally don't talk about this to anybody because in general society, males are viewed as masculine men who toughens up their wounds and would be a sissy if they shed a tear of emotion. Which is a belief I disagree with. I am sick and tired of feeling lonely and closed off and I want to find a way to become more approachable and more open towards people because I can't find a way.

What's your input on this? Thank you for your time.

-----------------------

Asking for "input" is too vague, and vague questions get vague responses. It's not my place to tell people how to live. You ought to live your life in the way you want. If you want to be alone, be alone. If you want to have friends, make friends. I won't judge your decisions if you don't.

The issue is that you have not made clear what you want and/or you are not fully committed to putting out the hard work required to get what you want. You seem to suffer from ambivalence, of wanting and not wanting something at the same time, which usually indicates an underlying fear of change. People who fear change might also use the past as an excuse to avoid change. So, is your description of a troubled past merely an explanation or is it being used as an excuse as well?

INTJs grow and mature by making the most of themselves in the world. It is difficult for Te to feel at peace when you keep ignoring glaring evidence of incompetence. It is difficult to live up to your greater potential as long as you are held back by fear, allow fear to control your decision-making, and/or feel too afraid to reach for the things you need and want in life. Generally speaking, the most effective way to overcome the kind of fear that is disproportionate to the perceived threat is to confront it. Do the thing you fear in order to learn that it is something within your power to handle. If you don't grasp and create opportunities for yourself to learn and grow, you get stuck in life.

It seems that up until now, 1) you haven't found the right people to connect with due to undervaluing relationships and thus not searching properly, and 2) you haven't nurtured enough curiosity about people to connect well with them (remember that meaningful relationships should not be merely instrumental or one-sided). The first task is to clarify what exactly it is you want and set up a better plan to build a social network and follow through with it. From there, you will also have to work to improve your social skills to develop the relationships properly. (It's a common topic here, so you can also read past posts about social skills or consult the book recommendations on the resources page.)

#intj #intj relationships #auxiliary te #ambivalence #fear #social skills #ask

[mosspapi]

Used the word "ambivalent" in conversation tonight (dude asked if I like my watch strap bcuz we were wearing the same one and I said 'I've only ever had this one so I'm ambivalent lol') and then he asked what it meant and walked away when I explained it. What's up with that. Is that just him being him or was that like actually an inappropriate thing for me to have done lmao

#like. I very much don't wanna seem pretentious or know it all or Super Smart or whatever bcuz I'm not lmao #it's just a good word #and like. I guess it technically wasn't Super correct way to use it bcuz I'm more neutral than mixed feelings but like. it's the same idea #and I Am ambivalent abt it. it's comfy but it doesn't fit super well and the metal bit reacts with my skin. so it's the correct word #just not in the exact sentence I was using it in #and now I'm being pedantic abt it in my tags too. perhaps I am even more socially inept than I thought it was HDSKSJDBDJDJ #it's definitely gotten more noticeable since I got sick. I think I don't have the energy to mask anymore #autism masking. not wearing a mask masking. to be clear I am very much wearing a mask lmao #can yall tell I'm out of it. #armchair speaks

[neverendingford]

.

#tag talk #every time I see a “celibacy” post I have to restrain myself from reblogging it to be like “yeah but not me” #because like. duh. I know how fruitless and dumb it is to constantly feel the need to point out that I'm not part of the generalized group #but like. idk. what happened to the sex positivity and ambivalence where no one gave a shit whether you were out fucking or not #feels similar to when people are like “body positivity died five years ago”. #like. I get that a new generation is on tumblr but like... damn there's so much self criticism for shit that doesn't matter #found someone who's lowkey autistic like me and was like “yo we could be having platonic sex” and if I didn't have covid rn we would #like. if you want it.. go out and get it. obvs if you want romantic attraction and social chemistry too then it's way harder #so you gotta be out looking for that shit because it's not just gonna find you prolly. #but like. idk. it's just sex. can we please chill out about it?

[spraklecat]

“I’m calling out this person for making tickle art of real celebrities”

And you play armchair psychologist and insist they have autism when there’s like 3 different cultural factors complicating that and zero sign of that person having sensory issues.

#look i get there’s some past celebrities people kind of go “yeah they probably did tho we’ll never really know” #like tiny tim #but this person is… just a nerd with janky social skills HEAVILY influenced by being uprooted and moving to a new country as a kid #like it’s not impossible but there’s so many confounding factors it’s stupid to act confident like that #and they also do it with people that don’t really show any signs at all and it stinks of trivializing #I’m ambivalent on rpf (and in this particular case i think a boomer rockstar would outright encourage it) it’s just so hypocritical #when trivializing/misrepresenting real conditions is probably worse