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#something you see from your window
sysig · 30 days
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One better (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#ZEX#Blood#I knew going into this and it was still so distressing :'0#Who needs plot twists when you can create such an intense sense of Dread#Probably doesn't help that I read this At Night In the Dark lol - actual shivers#Gods this was a hard scene to read - there have been several instances of my face hurting from furrowing my brow so hard haha#The way that ''Doctor'' is written is So skillful - I'm so impressed by everyone's prose and quirks and syntax!#Not to mention when he breaks character in a later scene to apologize for taking a bit to move the scene along haha <3 Play!!#It really does speak to just how much skill and effort is put into everything <3 It's so well done all the way around!!#Anyway to the actual scene at hand lol ow :') Drawing blood is always fun but I wish it wasn't his ;u;#Ugh the way he takes the surgeries is so well written - fear of course but a kind of stoic suffering as much as he's able to -#Until it comes to his eye#Ugh the /break/ of it all he goes from so eloquent - almost snarky and silly! Still trying to find an out make peace do /something/#It all goes completely out the window he's so /reduced/ and nothing hurts worse than that ughughugh#For all his intelligence and wit and prior successes and charm and just - everything that makes him /him/ to be dissolved into abject fear#It's so sad ;; And so well done <3#And he still holds enough of himself to know what he'd be losing wegh it's so sad!! He's so defined by his vision as most VUX are it's fjdsl#Zelnick is already gone by this point but I wanted to throw him in for extra sad flavour :')#Plus - I've mentioned his post-Op was one of the ones from the gallery that Actively kills me every time I look at it#Can you imagine my heartbreak to find out that he didn't have his Captain to comfort him after this in actuality? That he was fully alone?#''Are we home? Is it over?'' ''N...not yet'' - The Absolute Devastation of realizing that Never Was not really#Just tear my heart out why don't you ugh I'm fully bleeding out 💔#That last one is actually meant to be Max but it's open to interpretation :)#I think it's such a waste that his eye was just disposed of! Someone else could've used that (lol)#I do think there's something to the idea of seeing what used to be a part of your body elsewhere - like the Leftovers!#Even just keeping as a memento tho - a trophy - insult to injury but literally#Just points to no one being special and nothing being sacred I suppose
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opens-up-4-nobody · 9 months
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The way that the sun hits leaves and clouds. I feel like I could watch the colors change forever. If I could slow down for that long.
#i keep forgetting a have a deck now. i can go outside and sit there#im doing that now. sitting in the corner of a deck full of empty chairs. staring up at a big pine tree where the sun is striking it gold#at the top. i like how thr light hits the needles. if the sky was black it would look like its on fire#theres a tree outside my bedroom window too. in the morning. after the sunrises it catches thr light and refelcts the most perfect shade#of green. the kind of green that flutters translucent like youre looking up from the bottom of a pool. the light the light its all about#the sun. everything everything is about the sun. when i start my project I'll be focused on understanding how organisms catch the light bc#its so incredible and complicated it would make my chest swell to bursting if there wasnt an empty bleeding wound in my gut. a#metaphorical wound of course. i dunno. its just difficult bc right now my mood is inflated by hormones. not even that much i think I'm#just at what shoulf be a normal level of happiness so i can be slow for a minute. but just a minute bc i kno it won't last long#sorry i cant shut the fuck up when im like this but i dunno i just feel like i havr to document these ephemeral moments before they're gone#its just difficult when you kno the world is so full of beautiful things but 95% of the time your eyes are too clouded to see it#everyone tells me i work too much but i feel like im just staring off into space being miserable 60% of the time. ive just done so much#damage over the past few years im coming into a new lab as damaged goods. ive got an albatross around my neck in thr form of data i#collected so self destructively that the idea of having anything to do with its publication makes me hate myself. everytime someone tells#me good job on collecting so so so much data it feels like they're congratulating me for breaking something within myself. like i slit my#wrists and bled out on a lab bench and theyre saying good job and theyre excited for me and i have to grin and bear it and pretend im#excited too. but im not bc ive burned everything inside me to ash. so when im elevated enough to be distracted by the clouds and trees it#feels like healing. like seeing angels. beautiful ephemeral beams of light. i wish i could slow down enough to watch them. but now thr sun#is hitting the horizon and the sky is going gradually dark and i should go inside. bc i have many things to do in the morning. so that's#what ill do. and ill try to get more thsn 6hrs of sleep but its hard when your body is vibrating over with energy#but at least i dont feel tired in the morning. something in my head must be on fire#unrelated#hm i should maybe add a tw to this#tw self injury#but its the kind thst makes u good at ur Job. its the kind ppl reward. so they don't understand when u say its destroying ur life#but im trying to get better. i say as i gear up for an insane semester lol but i do mean it
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weenie-kun · 4 months
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banging head against wall
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bitchfitch · 1 year
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a lot of the comments on that stained glass post are really funny because they assume the horse was like, a serious attempt and not me going "ok I've never used these tools before, I'm going in with no plan and just fucking up half sqft of glass while i learn how the cutter and pliers work" and then assembling the resulting shards into something vaguely resembling a horse to get the rest of the process down in my pre research fuck around and find out phase of learning a new skill.
Also the soldering looks like shit because the articles i found in the 20 minutes i was buying the stuff to start all said "flux makes the soldering better" in really vague terms without actually like, explaining that it lowers the flow point of the solder and makes the copper foil more receptive to it. so i assumed it wasn't necessary and was just used for vague betterness reasons and didn't buy any until a few days later when I started properly researching how to do things and found out it's actual job and that it's absolutely vital to the process.
So the solder isn't actually fully bound to the tape on the horse and is just like, melted overtop it following the lines of the tape. there's a distinct oval shape where the sides of the bead are up and off the tape instead of the domed shape it's actually supposed to be.
I also hadn't bought a grinder at that point bc I'm cheap and wanted to find one lightly used on ebay and also i wanted to wait for my pay check so I'd have a Little extra wiggle room with the whole shebang before i dropped 70 bucks on a tool i might not enjoy using too much.
which is to say, the whale is the first actual attempt and not the horse.
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mountmortar · 6 months
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i know this is my pokémon blog but i gotta say it. if you use windows i'm so fucking sorry i don't know how you guys deal with it
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willowser · 1 year
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WILLOW IM GOING CRAZY OVER YHAT POLL OMG YESSSSS
like, you and him were classmates for a long time, and maybe you knew each other through mutual friends? you’ve always had your small moments with Katsuki, like accidentally catching him stare at you, or you lending your umbrella to him with the justification of “I live close, and you hate the rain” running off before he can reject it, feelings bubbled deep within him that he’s semi conscious of but chooses to suppress. It’s been a few days that he’s been absent from school, rumours spread in the class until after a week and a half, it’s found out that he’s missing and the whole class take part in the few search partys for him in the woods near by. But nothing is found. Years pass and while you may have also felt something for him, you pushed it deep down too. But you could never shake off the feeling of being watched. It wasn’t all the time, but particularly when you were alone, it always felt like someone was with you, stalking, watching.
NDDHHDHGDEKJD SORRY THIS IS ME BEING EXCITED ABOUT YOUR NEW WIP!!! I HOPE THIS MAYBE GIVES A LITTLE INSPO?? CAN’T WAIT TO SEE HOW THEY MEET
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my dear my friend my love this is us rn: 🧠 ⚡️ 🧠 beow-weow-weow-weow-weow (this is the sound of our brain waves in sync)
i can very distinctly remember being in junior high and it's like the age when people around me started to "date" ?? so i was very aware of boys, but i still found them so irritating LOL and also cute which was so unfortunate. SO — i can easily see this being similar, when you are in some classes with bakugou and he's like 😒 such a brat and a know-it-all and a lil bully 😒 but sometimes you get paired up for projects or in games or happen to sit together at lunch or walk home together and it's like. he's still a pain in the ass !!! but your heart is racing and so is his and you're both kind of thinking like. no one would know if we had a first kiss rn 👀 ajfheuajq idk !!
and that's all you have of him once he disappears 🥺 on a school trip nonetheless !! midoriya and todoroki remember him being right there ??? and then he was gone ??? and you aren't on the school trip, so you just kind of hear rumors about it until the boys return very suddenly, sooner than they were supposed to. and now it's a thing, on the local news and stuff 🥺 and you're still young, so it's so odd !! to have known a boy with his face on the television and your parents asking if you knew him and having class called out so you can volunteer in searching for him 🥺 SAD !!
(you start to have these weird nightmares after that. when you wake up in the middle of the night and feel something, but you're so frozen with fear that you can't even move your head to look out the window, because you're afraid to see the red eyes staring back at you.)
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mars-ipan · 1 year
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i think part of why i love tsp is i love horror but hate threats
#no monsters in that game! the horror comes from your solitude#you are the only one in there! you are the map’s sole living occupant#when you see that rare glimpse of the employee walking through the window you don’t feel /fear.:#you feel /relief./#relief that slowly dwindles as you realize you will never get to interact with this npc#you’re as alone as ever#and the game knows this!!! it knows it!!!#your sole company is the narrator- a disembodied voice. that’s it. nobody else#(yes i know the curator the timekeeper/settings person but you get my point)#and some of the most unsettling moments in the game are moments when the narrator is quiet#the playtester ending where you fall out of bounds and he can’t follow you#the infinite hole in that moment where he leaves and you can’t do anything but wait#do i even need to explain the skip ending. the distress in the narrator’s voice- the distress YOU feel at being forced to leave him alone#he actually has a really interesting bit of dialogue in there. to paraphrase- ‘if you can hear me then maybe i’m real’#i feel this line perfectly encapsulates the loneliness of this game#it is just you and a voice. each confirming that the other is there. that the other has an impact. that their actions mean something#that they’re real.#and what’s CRAZY about it is that it’s not even a horror game!!!!#is that part of it? yes undeniably. but the game is about choice#the narrator says so all the time#GOD it’s so good. one of those games that turns you into a philosopher#another reason i like tsp is because the narrator is relatable lmao#i too love to go on long tangential rambles and use purple prose and i too will be distressed if nobody listens to them#might be why the skip ending seems to frighten me extra#anyways i think more art should focus on the horror of loneliness and effects of solitude on the soul#i could write a goddamn essay on this shit. actually i might i loveeeeee analysis
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arlo-venn · 1 month
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Y’all 😳 My favorite neighbor’s house is on fire and her cats are in there 😰😰
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goldiipond · 10 months
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so desktop tumblr decided a small unintrusive messaging window that matched the colors of whatever blog you were talking to was too fun and replaced it with a colorless box that takes up a third of the space on my dash and is, in fact, so large that the notifs/settings/asks/whatever bar covers both the url of the person (who cannot be identified through unique blog colors anymore) and the x i need to click to close the window. yes this is surely a good and needed change and our most pressing area of concern among this site’s many issues. to close the window you need to either load a different page or open someones blog on your dash to remove the top bar and click the x. weee need your money to continue bringing you the changes that really matter like this one. try our new game where you give us real-life money for our crab pngs and see how many you can summon to make the remaining 2/3rds of your window completely unrecognizable you piece of shit
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zip-toonz · 6 months
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OMG THERES A FUCKING HONDURAN FLAG EMOJI 🇭🇳 !!!!!
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rohirric-hunter · 2 years
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I went to buy a laptop last month and I told the sales guy that I was looking for something portable primarily to write on and he recommended some of the smaller computers that had Windows 11 version S on them. I wasn’t especially familiar with it but fortunately my dad thought to ask what that was and the sales guy explained that it was Microsoft’s answer to the Chromebook; a smaller, lightweight OS that could only install programs from the app store and was meant primarily browsing the web. It would run Microsoft Word just fine, he assured me, unless I preferred Google Drive?
He was somewhat surprised when I immediately said I didn’t want that, and seemed confused, so I explained to him that my writing program of choice is a program some dude coded in his basement and shares online for free, supported by an open source MS Word alternative for print formatting; my music player of choice is another free open source program; and my outlining program of choice is a single-purchase mindmapping program developed by a smaller software company. And the only way to get any of these on a computer is to download and install them from a web browser.
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ashtonisvibing · 10 months
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welcome to summer, where flies somehow spawn in your bedroom seemingly from thin air!
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dirt-str1der · 1 year
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Sick of jerking off to porn now i just look up pictures of kiryu in his little grey tracksuit whenever i need to cum
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leatherbookmark · 2 years
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*insert your regular ‘ghrrrr why does this fandom think jgy is a closet bitch’ post*
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chussy · 2 years
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“what’s a little gaslighting between neighbors? :)” LMAOOOO
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mcmansionhell · 3 months
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we've found it folks: mcmansion heaven
Hello everyone. It is my pleasure to bring you the greatest house I have ever seen. The house of a true visionary. A real ad-hocist. A genuine pioneer of fenestration. This house is in Alabama. It was built in 1980 and costs around $5 million. It is worth every penny. Perhaps more.
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Now, I know what you're thinking: "Come on, Kate, that's a little kooky, but certainly it's not McMansion Heaven. This is very much a house in the earthly realm. Purgatory. McMansion Purgatory." Well, let me now play Beatrice to your Dante, young Pilgrim. Welcome. Welcome, welcome, welcome.
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It is rare to find a house that has everything. A house that wills itself into Postmodernism yet remains unable to let go of the kookiest moments of the prior zeitgeist, the Bruce Goffs and Earthships, the commune houses built from car windshields, the seventies moments of psychedelic hippie fracture. It is everything. It has everything. It is theme park, it is High Tech. It is Renaissance (in the San Antonio Riverwalk sense of the word.) It is medieval. It is maybe the greatest pastiche to sucker itself to the side of a mountain, perilously overlooking a large body of water. Look at it. Just look.
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The inside is white. This makes it dreamlike, almost benevolent. It is bright because this is McMansion Heaven and Gray is for McMansion Hell. There is an overbearing sheen of 80s optimism. In this house, the credit default swap has not yet been invented, but could be.
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It takes a lot for me to drop the cocaine word because I think it's a cheap joke. But there's something about this example that makes it plausible, not in a derogatory way, but in a liberatory one, a sensuous one. Someone created this house to have a particular experience, a particular feeling. It possesses an element of true fantasy, the thematic. Its rooms are not meant to be one cohesive composition, but rather a series of scenes, of vastly different spatial moments, compressed, expanded, bright, close.
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And then there's this kitchen for some reason. Or so you think. Everything the interior design tries to hide, namely how unceasingly peculiar the house is, it is not entirely able to because the choices made here remain decadent, indulgent, albeit in a more familiar way.
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Rare is it to discover an interior wherein one truly must wear sunglasses. The environment created in service to transparency has to somewhat prevent the elements from penetrating too deep while retaining their desirable qualities. I don't think an architect designed this house. An architect would have had access to specifically engineered products for this purpose. Whoever built this house had certain access to architectural catalogues but not those used in the highest end or most structurally complex projects. The customization here lies in the assemblage of materials and in doing so stretches them to the height of their imaginative capacity. To borrow from Charles Jencks, ad-hoc is a perfect description. It is an architecture of availability and of adventure.
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A small interlude. We are outside. There is no rear exterior view of this house because it would be impossible to get one from the scrawny lawn that lies at its depths. This space is intended to serve the same purpose, which is to look upon the house itself as much as gaze from the house to the world beyond.
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Living in a city, I often think about exhibitionism. Living in a city is inherently exhibitionist. A house is a permeable visible surface; it is entirely possible that someone will catch a glimpse of me they're not supposed to when I rush to the living room in only a t-shirt to turn out the light before bed. But this is a space that is only exhibitionist in the sense that it is an architecture of exposure, and yet this exposure would not be possible without the protection of the site, of the distance from every other pair of eyes. In this respect, a double freedom is secured. The window intimates the potential of seeing. But no one sees.
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At the heart of this house lies a strange mix of concepts. Postmodern classicist columns of the Disney World set. The unpolished edge of the vernacular. There is also an organicist bent to the whole thing, something more Goff than Gaudí, and here we see some of the house's most organic forms, the monolith- or shell-like vanity mixed with the luminous artifice of mirrors and white. A backlit cave, primitive and performative at the same time, which is, in essence, the dialectic of the luxury bathroom.
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And yet our McMansion Heaven is still a McMansion. It is still an accumulation of deliberate signifiers of wealth, very much a construction with the secondary purpose of invoking envy, a palatial residence designed without much cohesion. The presence of golf, of wood, of masculine and patriarchal symbolism with an undercurrent of luxury drives that point home. The McMansion can aspire to an art form, but there are still many levels to ascend before one gets to where God's sitting.
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