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#song eunseok fic
slytherinshua · 4 months
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A JERK. OR NOT?
genre. fluff. warnings. eunseok is a tiny bit jerk... he teases a lot. but he's actually whipped. pairing. eunseok x fem!reader. wc. 1.9k. request. requested by @eternalgyu: JDJSJS OK LISTEN EUNSEOK ACADEMIC E2L- HES ACTUALLY BULLYCORE TO HIS CLOSE FRIENDS BUT HES ALSO THE SWEETEST WHEN HES IN LOVE like he would make u miss ur bus after school and it would rain but then would walk u home w an umbrella HSJSJSJ IM SO DOWN BAD FOR HIM a/n. hehe i ate up this req TBH EUNSEOK IS SO HIGH SCHOOL BOYFRIEND THO??? i literally love him what
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You had no idea how you had ended up in this position; somehow charming the school’s most popular guy. Most popular and biggest jerk. But God, who even cared if he was mean when he looked like an angel sent down from heaven to grace the school grounds?
Whenever someone new came to the school, there were several things that they were immediately made aware of. Most of them were given a list or told directly by one of the older students, while others learned naturally within a week of being at Chungdam High. 
First? Eating outside was infinitely better than eating in the canteen.
Second? Being late was worse than being absent.
And third? Song Eunseok was the king of the school.
New students could probably just tell from the way he carried himself that he knew he could get anyone to do what he wanted. He was lazy, slept in class, cut in line at the snackbar, toyed with the younger students for his own amusement. He never truly bullied people, but he tread the line sometimes, and you didn’t like it.
You weren’t new to the school. You had been attending since you graduated middle school, and you were ever aware of all 3 of these things. It wasn’t until you were in your graduating year that the third thing became as apparent as ever. For some reason— whether it was a Summer glow-up that you weren’t aware of, or a dare from his friends, or whether he had truly always liked you— at the very beginning of the year, Eunseok had asked you out.
You thought that rejecting him the first time would discourage him from his… fixation. But, to your dismay, after coming back from the fall break, he seemed as determined as ever to win you over. He even somehow got the seating arrangement to change so he sat right behind you. You spent the fall months trying to ignore his constant pestering and note passing. He liked to kick your feet under the table as well.
You didn’t really mind the most handsome guy at school paying attention to you, but you were confused. You definitely weren’t going to blindly accept his offer to be your boyfriend without first getting to know him, which was your secret mission for now.
Given that you didn’t go out of your way to avoid him, and still engaged in conversations with him, Eunseok kept his hopes up despite your original rejection. He was more sensible than his reputation might have painted for him. Yes, he enjoyed teasing people just to see their annoyed face, but bullying was a step too far even for him. 
Maybe it was his need for attention, but he thrived on anything he could get. Whether it was the girls all having crushes on him or the boys all being jealous of him— he tried to make sure that he was at the top of everyone’s mind. But he wasn’t a bully. Anyone with any sense would know that Chungdam High did not have a bullying problem, but if anyone were to fill in that spot, it would probably be Eunseok and his friends.
It was because of this ambiguity that you weren’t quite sure whether you should be wary of Eunseok or not. He had never shown an interest in you before, and you wanted to be positive that his affection was sincere before allowing your heart to be affected by his flirting tactics.
Flirting? Yeah, he was quite good at that, you realized after a week of his attention. Only because he had mastered flirting in a way that was not cliche or cheesy, but hanging in that sweet spot of summoning butterflies every time a word flew out of his mouth. Along with his stupidly attractive smirk that appeared whenever you blushed because of his words, you were quickly failing in your plan to be unaffected by him until you were sure you wanted to accept his offer.
It was a delicate balance of your brain’s hesitance and your heart’s curiosity. You had never been in love, and though sometimes you didn’t want to accept it, you craved experiencing that more than anything.
It was a Thursday afternoon, and you were sitting in the library during your free period. You had come in to get some work done, but instead you found yourself mulling over how Eunseok had acted around you for the last week. You still couldn’t tell whether he was being genuine or not, and that frustrated you. You decided you would just ask him the next time you saw him. Worst case scenario, you would discover that he really was just a jerk trying to play with your emotions.
It seemed as if he wanted that ‘next time’ to be right now, because he pulled out a chair across from you and sat down. He crossed his arms and propped up his feet on the table, blatantly ignoring library etiquette. You shook your head and scoffed, turning your attention back to your very blank notebook.
“You’ve been in here for an hour yet I haven’t seen you turn a single page.” Eunseok started, a smirk already playing on his lips. He had his secret hopes and suspicions that he might be the reason why you were so distracted today. He needed to test out the waters first, though. Your cheeks immediately coloured at being caught, and Eunseok was given a surge of confidence.
“If you’re not planning to study anyway, how about I buy you something at the snack bar? Hello Panda, right? Those are your favourite?” He was already standing up by the time you found yourself nodding your head. You had no choice but to pack up your books and follow him.
“Hey,” You started, taking the chance to ask him your question while he was buying the snacks for you. “Do you seriously like me? This isn’t some stupid dare that Sungchan made you do, right?” 
He was silent for a few moments— maybe the first time you had ever heard him stop and think. He grabbed the packet of Hello Panda from the bottom of the vending machine and turned to you.
“Yes. I actually like you.” His face was almost completely stonelike. He was trying not to express anything that could give away just how much he was entirely whipped for you. You could see it in his eyes, though. They looked nervous awaiting your answer.
“Really?” You asked skeptically, needing one more confirmation before you would allow yourself to fully believe him. You wanted to believe him. It was hard trying to ignore his affections towards you every day when your brain kept telling you to take this chance and experience love for the first time. 
“Yes. Really. How long are you going to keep asking that?” He said, a little on edge from the situation. It was uncomfortable to have to confess so openly. He could tease you all day without feeling nervous, but when you were staring at him so closely, he started to feel vulnerable. 
“Okay. Just making sure…” You grabbed the Hello Panda from his hands and walked off, heart racing just a little faster than your mind. He really liked you? So then… should you ask him out? You shook off the thought as you walked outside. Your bus would be arriving any minute, and you wanted to get home to think in the comfort of your bedroom.
You frowned as you stepped outside. It was raining— a small sprinkle for now, but it looked like it would only get heavier. You didn’t bring an umbrella. You checked your phone for the time.
Shit.
It was already 4:08. Your bus was probably already close to the bus stop. You took off running, eyes widening as you rounded the corner. The bus was already leaving. 
“No- No! Come back!” You shouted helplessly, slowing down as you caught up to the bus stop. You panted, scowling at your luck. You would’ve been on time if Eunseok hadn’t distracted you by buying you snacks. You supposed you shouldn’t blame him too much. It was a nice gesture. You were doubtful that the Hello Panda would stay nice if you had to walk home in the rain, though. There wasn’t another bus for over 30 minutes.
“Hey! How could you just leave like that!?” You heard a shout and turned. Eunseok was running towards you, his hand shielding his face from the rain that had gotten significantly heavier since you had reached the shelter of the bus stop. It looked like he didn’t have an umbrella either.
“What do you mean?” You muttered, looking away from him to stop your heart from racing further. 
“You’re really not going to say anything?” He asked weakly. 
“Get out of the rain.” You said, hoping to divert the conversation from the topic you still weren’t entirely sure about.
“Not until you give me an answer.” He said firmly and you sighed. “Please, I’ll stop if you say so… But I need you to say it. I’ve liked you for a year now. If you don’t tell me to stop then I’m seriously going to cross a line.” He warned, heart all choked up in his throat. 
You weren’t sure what to say or do. Eunseok stood, getting soaked from the rain, waiting anxiously for your response. You would be lying if you said that his flirtation over the past months hadn’t had an effect on you. You felt the sparks fly— you had reason to think that it could work out. 
“I’ve never… dated before.” You confessed nervously.
“That shouldn’t- No, that doesn’t matter. All that matters is if you want to.” He reassured you, his hopes rising every second that you didn’t say no.
“Then… I like you, Eunseok.” You whispered, just loud enough for him to hear it. Even though you said it softly, it rang around his head like an alarm. 
You liked him?
You liked him.
You liked him.
He couldn’t contain his elation, and rushed forward, capturing you in his arms securely. Though he was soaking wet from the rain, having him hold you felt… pleasant. Much nicer than you had ever anticipated. His touch was cold against your skin but your heart felt warm. Droplets of water from his hair dripped onto your shoulder as you hesitantly reached around to reciprocate the hug. 
You heard him giggle. It was adorable. You had rarely seen him smile unless it was a sarcastic smirk, but hearing that sound of pure joy coming from his mouth and knowing that it was because of you triggered your own happiness to spike. It felt nice. Really nice. You didn’t want to let go of the hug, so even when Eunseok started to move away and apologize for hugging you so suddenly, you pulled him back and buried your head further into his chest. He was taken aback by your sudden action.
“You’re so… cute.” He whispered. You smiled, colour rushing to your cheeks. You hid your face even more just in case he saw. His teasing was bad before, but now that you were sure you liked him, it wouldn’t be annoying, it would be embarrassing.
Unfortunately for you, he somehow did catch a glimpse of the blush and didn’t let it go for the entire walk home. Maybe he was still just a little bit of a jerk.
↳ riize taglist: @eternalgyu,, @kangtaehyunzzz,, @weird-bookworm,, @haecien,, @seolboba,, @cyberpunksunwoo,, @cosmicwintr, @chiiyuuvv,, @evalevaeva
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bambisnc · 1 month
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the way song eunseok's figure rests on your bed can only be described as ethereal in its truest form. skin almost appearing to be touched with gold, you really can't help but kneel down at his side and let your adoring gaze take him up.
one of your hands allows itself to gently card through the strands of his hair as you rest your chin on the other.
you're supposed to be waking him up; he does have training, practice and so much more to get to.
but that thought has completely left you; mind only occupied by the way his eyelashes curl against his cheekbones, by the way his hair fans out gorgeously over the pillow, by the way his pretty lips remain ever so slightly apart - it takes everything in you to not drown him in kisses.
"till when are you planning on staring at me, hm?" eunseok's eyes are still closed and a barely-there smile adorns his face. you swear you could spend your entire lifetime doing so; not that you would ever say that to him.
a kiss to his forehead. one on either cheek. a couple scattered over his neck. you both struggle not shake with silent laughter; until the birthday boy finally reigns victorious over you - turning you around and successfully pinning you to the bed.
your loop your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to finally kiss him properly.
"happy birthday my love <;3"
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notes : HELL YEAH. + [m.list] song rec : glue song by beabadoobee <3 perfect 4 the feels <3
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zerobaseriize · 24 days
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If the planets all faded away.... | song eunseok 🌒 🪐
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pairing: song eunseok x female!reader
genre: romance, soulmates with matching birth marks (tbh read to find out), slight angst, drama.
warnings: none?? i re-read just to make sure
w.c: 1.16k
synopsis: coming into a small town, you encounter someone you've been waiting years for.
a/n: first work on tumblr. i've reread this so many times just to make it perfect! enjoy :) i cried while writing this. if this receives a lot of love, i might turn this into a series!
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Groaning, you shut off the alarm ringing from your phone. The time on your alarm clock read 6am.
You rushed through your morning routine, ready to find a new job and place to call home. The hotel you were cooped up in was getting boring.
Minutes passed and as you told the receptionist of the hotel that you didn't not want housekeeping to stop by today. Instead of viewing the city and coming back hours later, you mentally decided that you would go job hunting.
Walking through the small town center, you smiled to yourself. A warm breeze filled with floral smells reaching your nostrils. Strolling through the town, you noticed that a lot of the bakeries and cafes had hiring signs up. Checking your watch, you decided that 8 am was a good time to start asking for job applications.
You paraded happily down the small city blocks, seeing families and couples enjoy their time together. A bitter sweet feeling blossoming in your heart. Your mind pre-occupied with the thought of having a soulmate. A soulmate that had the same birthmark and soulmark as you.
The soulmark on your wrist was unlike any other you've come across. Not even like your parents. The soulmarks you've encountered have looked like constellations. Even the ones described online and in the textbooks said they resembled stars.
You resented fate since day one because yours was a replica of Saturn, its rings and moons. History entails that one would find their soulmate between the ages of ten and twenty. Yet, here you were in your mid twenties with no soulmate in sight.
Shaking the sad thoughts from your head, you decided to look up. Your face quickly transformed into one of shock. Heart quickening in its cage.
Twenty feet in front of you, across the street from where you were, there was a bakery. It wasn't just any bakery though.
The name on the building and logo of the cafe caused your insides to flip what felt like a full 360 degree turn, butterflies pooling in your stomach.
Cafe Saturn.
It was the exact same of the birth mark on your wrist. A carbon copy of the soul mark blossoming on your skin. Even with the same pattern of Saturn's moons depicted in it. Standing there, your legs glued to the sidewalk floor, you were convincing yourself that it was just a coincidence.
Just as that thought settled in, the see-through glass door of the cafe opened.
The smell of freshly baked pastries and coffee followed the presence of the man who now stood in front of the cafe.
As if on autopilot, the man looked straight at you.
The romance novels and accounts of soul mates meeting did not nothing to prepare you for this point. All the color and luminescence of the world turned pitch black. Your eye sight shutting everything out. All that you could see was his body. Everything around you becoming shrouded in darkness except for his enamoring existence.
The butterflies in your stomach grew in waves. The waves hitting the beach floor with full force. It was as if a humming of nervousness pulsed throughout your whole body, watching the young man freeze almost in realization.
Looking down at your own body, all you could find was the mark on your wrist. Your body shrouded in darkness as well. Your soulmate mark glowed neon green, a painful pulsing growing as it's neon color grew in brightness. Running your left hand over your soulmate mark, you noticed the man jump back and caress his fingers on his birthmark. The goosebumps on your arms intensifying as you felt ghost-like fingers caress your mark. Looking up at the man, his brown hair waved against the invisible wind. His head shot up, eyes making contact with yours across the street. He raised his marked wrist to face you. Waving crazily, he crossed the un-busy street. His rushed footsteps outweighing the sound of the breezy small town.
With every footstep meeting the dark pavement, colorful hues followed his path. Each footstep he took, the world came back to life.
Your thoughts were going haywire, witnessing his beautiful silhouette finally grace the irises of your eyes. Watching as his foot planted itself on the curb beneath your feet, you basked in his beauty. He rose way beyond your height. The brown irises of his eyes rapidly moved across the features of your face. Almost as if he was taking every detail of your face and ingraining it into his memory. Mapping the terrain of his newly discovered world, you did the same. Your eyes not hiding from his gaze, silently caressing the mark on your wrist.
His pink lips slightly wobbled, and at that moment, you broke. The nervousness suddenly gracing his features and you vowed to yourself then and there that you'd never want to see him sad. Ever.
"Hi." He shared, as he tried to collect himself.
Smiling, you let go of the tears that were already pooling in your eyes. His gaze suddenly following the path of the tears before making eye contact with you again.
"Hi..... are you the owner of that cafe?" You asked, your right hand gesturing from the same cafe he ran from.
Looking down at you to meet your eyes, the man's nervous expression was transformed by his laugh. His wondrous eyes filled with warmth, the corners of his lips spreading and exposing his gorgeous teeth. His laugh was magic to your ears. Your eyes followed his arms as they raised up to hold his chest, as if he was containing his laugh. Collecting himself after a few moments, He asked, "Was that not obvious?"
He Continued to peer down at you questionably. A smirk gracing his divine features. Heat rose up from the bottom of your neck and crawled up to the top of your cheeks. As almost sensing the reaction happening within your own body, his brown eyes flickered back and forth from your lips and back to the brown eyes. You couldn't help but drown in his eyes. The more you looked, the more you felt like you were under a spell. Seconds passed before you realized then that you never answered.
Sensing your nervousness, he let out, "My name is Eunseok. The owner of Cafe Saturn. Welcome to our small little town."
It was then that you realized: everything was going to be okay. Acknowledging your overwhelming feelings, you couldn't help but admire him. The brown light flooding from his eyes, the flush in his cheeks and the serene expression that overcame his features as he gazed at you. You knew then he would never hurt you.
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euseokz · 15 days
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@ eunseok — i always know how much you need me baby, so i give you just enough to not leave you hanging . cws : dry-humping . use of nicknames (good girl) . finger sucking . wc : 0.7k+ . genre : smut 
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FWB! EUNSEOK who has been teasing you all day, sending nasty texts and leaving you all hot and bothered on purpose, but who is surprised when he gets to your apartment at night and finds you on your bed with nothing but your underwear on, one of your hands already sneaking under your panties. 
“are you that needy already?” he asks almost playfully, with a teasing tone, his usual smirk painted on his lips. you don’t reply, simply whining and pressing your fingers over your clit harder, too horny to have the usual back and forth you two share. “i’ll take that as a yes” eunseok adds right after.
he walks to you and plants his hands on your body, pulling your wrist out from your panties and guiding you to straddle him while he sits on your bed. he looks at your digits that had been down your panties seconds prior, how they’re shiny with your arousal, strings of your slick connecting them. eunseok has to hold back a grunt, instead guiding them to his mouth, sucking on your fingers and tasting you while looking directly into your eyes, humming when you whine surprised. he lets go not too long after, planting his hands on your hips and pulling you to him, pushing you down against his bulge, his loose pants doing nothing to hide the obvious tent. it looked painful almost, even through his clothes, his dick twitching and a grunt finally leaving him when he feels your soaked panties press against him, eyes now focused there.
“i want you to cum against me like this, can you do that?” eunseok asks, voice sultry, his words coming as more of a request than a demand. when you nod, biting your bottom lip while already moving yourself ever so slightly against his covered cock, eunseok groans again, smiling before saying a simple “good girl”.
you move your hips slowly, pressing down just enough for him to feel how your folds part around his bulge, only leaving your panties wetter, a dark patch eventually staining eunseok's pants too. you're soaked, and incredibly needy, humping against him at a fastening pace, moaning and whining about how good it feels, your hands landing on eunseok's shoulders as your nails dig into them, bunching up the fabric of his shirt between your fingers and pressing down harshly against his skin. eunseok can feel the warmth of your pussy, his bottoms thin enough that he even feels how your clit twitches almost in sync with his dick. he guides his hands to your hips and grips them hard, deciding to now set the pace, moving you faster while pressing you more roughly against himself. you allow it without complaining, moaning his name and digging your nails deeper into his skin, pleasure blooming between your legs, a hot wave taking over your middle.
lust clouds your brain as your eyelids feel heavy and fall close, your head resting back and giving eunseok perfect access to kiss and suck on your neck, making you wonder if that was what heaven felt like. your orgasm was close, each stroke of your covered cunt against eunseok’s prominent bulge only driving you closer to the edge — the man under you not finding himself in a much better state, his mind flooded with nasty thoughts as he wrapped his lips around the sensitive skin of your throat, feeling as his cock twitched, his teeth sinking into you and a guttural grunt escaped him when he came, milky cum dampening his underwear, his orgasm only an excuse for eunseok to move you faster against himself, his nails now digging into your sides as he guided you, making you reach your peak sooner than later, a silent moan leaving you as your mouth fell open when your high finally hit you, crashing into you hard.
eunseok started slowing down the pace until you were barely moving your hips against his, finally pulling back to look at you, moving to cup your cheeks, his eyes hooded and glossy with arousal as he spoke.
“see? i’m always good to you baby, always give you enough to leave you an absolute mess without even needing to push my cock into you”
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chiiyuuvv · 3 months
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@soul-is-a-strange-kid , @riize119 , @yeosayang , @yuniniverse
"Hey, im so sorry im late baby. The boys got into an accident and i-" eunseok stops when he finds you laid across his mattress, his sweater and sweatpants wrapped around your figure loosely, but is held tightly as hug yourself and snore softly, your bed hair covering your eyes. He almost melts because of it. You looked so cute :(
And when you toss over, mumbling his name in your sleep he nearly loses it; rushing over to give you the cuddle you rightfully deserve, even if you were asleep. "Hmm? Baby?" You stir in your sleep, your eyes fluttering open when he shushes you, laying your head on his chest so he can engulf you, his chin resting on your head. And just like that youre out again, a small smile on your face as youre finally able to hug the guy you've missed the most.
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renjunphile · 4 days
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for the rest of ours ᡣ𐭩 song eunseok
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୨♡୧ WORD COUNT: 13.4k ୨♡୧ PAIRING: riize's song eunseok x female!reader ୨♡୧ TAGS & WARNINGS: chaebol heirs!au, rich kids!au, one sided enemies to lovers!au, arranged marriage!au, angsty at the start, overall fluff, reader is selfish and mean to eunseok for a good chunk of the story, brief unrequited love but y/n is an unreliable narrator tbh, second chance romance, she fell first but he fell harder trope, drinking, partying, non linear narrative
୨♡୧ SYNOPSIS: you find song eunseok to be utterly and despicably insufferable. too bad he's your fiancé since birth! and there was nothing you could do about it!
୨♡୧ NOTES: OHHHH im having such an intense eunseok rot that i had to write the most gut wrenching and nonsensical piece that becomes to sickeningly fluffy at the end. theyre just so in love with each other and there's literally no plot at all!!!!!!!!!!! lowkey one of the worst pieces i've written in recent times since i rushed it but i will edit and add scenes and plot in the future :> but for now, enjoy! ♡ i.b let my by zayn at the end :)
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It may be disturbing for some and horrifying to say, but your eyes hadn't even fully formed in the womb to open and your limbs weren't even well defined enough to have joints when your life was signed off to another's. For goodness' sake, it had barely even been a month since your tiny, minuscule heart started beating! What would the Song's have done if you grew up ugly?
You sighed to yourself, muttering under your breath how Korea's third richest family should be grateful you were akin to art in anyone's eyes. You were looking through the dusty photo albums that the housekeeper found while tidying the primary study of the mansion, and you grimaced at the photos of your fiancé that appeared from even the very first page.
It was bad enough that you were engaged before you were born, but did he really have to attend your birth? He probably didn't even have memories then! But there it was, under your fingertips: a perfectly preserved photo of a 3-month old Eunseok bundled up in sleep suit being posed next to where the nurses placed you after they literally just took you out of your mother. You don't even think the umbilical cord had been cut yet.
"Y/N, Mr. Song is outside," your favourite housekeeper coos at you from the double doors going into the study. You give her a terse smile and stand up from your father's office chair, straightening your silk gown before taking her hand as she helped you down the marble stairs of your home.
You roll your eyes (mostly to yourself, but you didn't mind if he noticed) as you saw his car parked at the bottom of the stairs leading to your front door.
"You can't even be bothered to come and collect me? Or open the door for me?" you sneer as soon as you settled yourself into the passenger seat.
"Well hello to you too, my lovely wife," Eunseok smirks, immediately revving and setting off around the fountain of your courtyard.
"I'm not your wife," you snap, deciding to ignore when the word 'yet' seems to slip under his breath, "But seriously Eunseok? This car? I'm going to look so stupid trying to get out of this car in my dress and heels. Why do you love sitting on the floor so much?"
Eunseok has an extensive car range. One that any car junkie would envy, but Song Eunseok knew nothing about cars. He just had them because he could. This car was a sports car where you had to sit in such a ridiculous position just so the car could look cool on the outside.
"It's white!" he defends himself, slightly whining in a cute way to which you swallow down a positive reaction. His eyes flicker over to you momentarily and his tongue traces across his bottom lip, "You look gorgeous, by the way. Very bridal."
You're wearing a white silk dress that looks like it's made for your body. It's draped so beautifully around your hips and hugs every part that needs to be accentuated. You loved this dress the second you saw it in Paris, but you never thought then that it would be used for this occasion. 
"Just shut up and drive," you quip. It takes a few moments of silence for you to feel bad even though his expression remains neutral and you sigh, "I guess you don't look too bad."
"Aw, I knew you were in love with me!" he teases again, a phrase he liked to use every time you said something to him that wasn't snarky, sarcastic or an insult.
You choose not to reply, instead taking in the bright lights of Seoul as he pulls into a main road. You haven't been back in a while, holing yourself up in your penthouse in Manhattan, but you always loved the sight of home.
"But seriously, Y/N," Eunseok coughs to get your attention, his voice dropping down low and suddenly serious, "This actually might be your last chance to back out of this. Just say the word and I'll turn this car around and take you straight to Incheon and you can run away around the world long enough until they find me a new bride."
You turn to look at him, perplexed by his words, "And you? You actually want to get hitched off to some random?"
Eunseok shrugs, not meeting your eyes, "You're not some random. I've known you since you were born. I've known you'd be my wife since the day I could understand what that meant. But if I have to find a replacement because you don't want to do it anymore, I will."
"Gee, ever the gentleman," you deadpan, "I think want is a pretty strong word. I don't want to marry you, but I guess I will."
"You're not backing out? Not leaving me looking stupid up on the altar?" Eunseok taps his finger on the leather steering wheel.
You think about his words sincerely. There's really nothing more in the world that you'd love than to run away to a small little town on the southern coast of Italy- somewhere quaint and quiet where you'd find love and spend the rest of your days cooking, cleaning, baking and finding peace in the ocean. There's nothing more in the world that you want more than for someone to ask to marry you because they were in love with your soul and not having you by their side would be like torture in the cruelest form.
Alas, you're Kang Y/N of the powerful Kang family, the eldest child of your father and the next heir waiting to take over the conglomerate. And because you're Kang Y/N, the eldest daughter of the second richest family in Korea, you were contracted to marry the first son of the third richest family in Korea. After that, your companies would merge and you would overtake the Kim's as the sole ruler of the country.
"It's my duty," you swallow nervously as you begin to recognise the streets of where you were driving, signalling that you were soon approaching the venue, "It's fine, Eunseok."
"I wish it wasn't just fine. I wish this was what you wanted." he breathes out and your heart stops beating for a second before anger seeps in through the cracks of your heart.
"Do you think it's any girl's dream to marry someone that doesn't love them?"
Eunseok sighs as he presses on the breaks, moving through the lifted barrier where they had closed a portion of the street in anticipation for his car and your arrival. He twists his body to look at you, "Y/N-"
"It's fine, Eunseok," you grit your teeth as you repeat your words, eyes trained on the paparazzi camped out on the steps of the venue, eager to get a glimpse of you, "Let's just get this engagement party over with."
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Song Eunseok had to follow you around the world like a lost puppy.
When you said that you wanted to go to that boarding school in Switzerland where only the richest sent their kids, Eunseok was in the seat next to you on that first class flight. When you said that you were going to Oxford to study for your undergraduate degree, Eunseok was tossing away his dream to study at Harvard to join you getting drunk at 18 under the grey British sky. When you said that you wanted to do your masters at Columbia so you could live in New York City, Eunseok was moving into the apartment across yours while he worked at the company his dad created in New York just for him to have something to do there.
If you said jump, Eunseok had to say how high?
That was just the name of the game considering the Song's had more to gain from this arrangement. Your family was richer. Your family was in a greater range of industries. Your family's money went back a lot further than the Song's. And you- you were the most stunning woman in Eunseok's eyes and because of him, you were stripped of your choice to fall in love. That's why the Song family gave you princess treatment from the second you were able to demand things. 
You had protested until your vocal cords went raw when they found out that they were sending Eunseok to university with you. For years up until you turned 18, you had imagined finally getting away from Eunseok for once, even if just for 3 years. He had always talked about Harvard and with the grades to boot, you thought that you'd finally have an ocean separating you.
It certainly wasn't an easy fight at the airport as you threatened to drop out of university the second that you even stepped foot into the new country. All your father did was bat his eyelashes and give you a heartfelt, "Please, princess? Just do this for us."
The phrase 'just do this for us' nearly knocked you sick nowadays after over 2 decades of hearing it spew out of your father's mouth. Ultimately, yes, you were lucky to have such a loving family that never pushed anything evil or truly despicable onto you. This was the one thing they needed from you. They obliged every want and wish for the trade-off of giving your hand in marriage to the Song's first born son.
In June of your third year of university, a couple months out from your graduation, Eunseok turned up at your door completely drunk.
"What are you doing here?" your arms were crossed tightly, trying to cover as much of yourself as possible as you were clad in the smallest pyjamas for the British summer heat.
He grinned goofily up at you, eyes lazily fluttering open and closed, "Hi, Y/N. I'm drunk." He was leaning against the doorway, nearly making out with the frame.
"I can see that," you sniffed the air and grimaced, "And smell it. But what are you doing here?"
"Can't I visit my lovely fiancée on her 21st birthday?" he batted his long eyelashes sweetly at you, taking one step into the apartment. You gazed at him hesitantly, taking one step back.
"I don't think anyone would appreciate their fiancé turning up on their doorstep piss drunk at 2am," you spat, "If you truly wanted to wish me a happy birthday, you would have left me alone."
"I lost my keys," Eunseok groaned, "I didn't know where else to go."
It should be sweet that out of all the places he could have chosen to go to in the city, he went to yours. Instead, it made you feel angrier.
"Eunseok, stop bothering me," your words contrasted your actions as you pulled him into your apartment and locked the door behind him, "Go sleep in the spare bedroom and leave as soon as you wake up. I'm going out for breakfast with my friends tomorrow so lock the door behind you and keep the key with you 'til you see me next." You pulled the spare key out of the drawer and placed it in his pocket.
Like a pathetic dog, Eunseok followed behind you as you led him through the apartment your parents had bought for you.
"Can I sleep with you?" he murmured.
"In your dreams, Song," you retorted, stopping in front of the spare room door, "Plus, you stink like shit."
"Ah, it's okay," he sighed dreamily, resting his head against the door, "We have the rest of forever to sleep beside each other."
You let out a frustrated screech, shoving his chest, "Can you let me live in peace? Why do you have to keep reminding me?"
"In the hopes that one day the thought of it won't make you sick or angry," he replied, opening the door of the room.
Your strong gaze faltered, "What are you- in love with me?"
"No," Eunseok shook his head, "I could learn to though, if you wanted me to."
"The only thing I want from you is to be far away from me," you ran your hands through your hair to soothe yourself, "And even that you can't do."
"I'm sorry, Y/N. Thanks for letting me stay," Eunseok gave up on his tyranny and dropped his voice, "Happy birthday."
You muster up a near half-smile, turning to return to your bed where you'd be tossing and turning until your alarm went off, "Goodnight Eunseok."
˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗
The worst thing about your arrangement with Eunseok was that it was kept secret.
Of course, it was an open secret in your families and to the company- and there were always rumours about it since you two ended up always together around the world. But it wasn't like it was announced to the world at any point to protect the prospective merger happening when you and Eunseok came of age.
That made relationships very hard indeed. It always had to end in heartbreak, at least for the other person.
The two of you agreed that you could see other people if you wanted to, and you agreed on this the same day you had your very first heartbreak.
"Eunseok, can we talk?" you poked his side to catch his attention. Eunseok was bouncing his basketball up and down while he spoke with his friends just outside the school courts. It had been 2 months since you moved back to Korea after spending 3 years in Switzerland at boarding school, where you quickly became homesick. Eunseok followed you home immediately.
Your fiancé bid his friends goodbye and gave you a sweet smile, "Yeah of course. What's up?"
You led him to the adjacent square that was thankfully deserted and settled just under the bloomed cherry blossom tree in the middle, "Um."
Eunseok giggled at your hesitancy and pushed your hair behind your ear, "What is it?"
16 year old you blushed terrifically at that moment, highlighting your plump cheeks and shining eyes as Eunseok peered down at you.
"I know this is um, pretty stupid," you began, breaking his stare and looking down at your Prada loafers, "Well basically, my friend Jimin- you know Jimin?- she told me to-"
"Just say it, Y/N."
"I like you?"
It came out more of a question as you quirked your eyebrow up at your fiancé.
His eyes went wide, taking in a deep breath, "Y/N. You," he paused, "You like me?"
"Yeah," you exhaled, "Is that so bad? We're going to get married someday."
Eunseok looked around and noticed his friends turning the corner to the courtyard, presumably to look for him, "Look, Y/N, I'm sorry but I thought we were going to, you know, try experience life like how others do and meet people and do whatever we want to until they tell us we need to get married. I didn't think we were obliged to date."
Your eyes began to water and your lips began to quiver as sheer embarrassment sunk into your bones, "So what? You want to date around?"
Eunseok reached out to cup your face but you quickly took a step back, feeling humiliated and slightly bettayed, "I'm sorry Y/N. I didn't know you felt like this towards me. Look, can we talk later? I'll swing by your house after basketball practice, okay?"
From the ages of 0-16, you would say that you and Eunseok were close childhood friends. Even though you had no concept of marriage or love, your parents had forced the two of you to be together through every occasion with weekly play dates and attending the same schools. When you finally understood what being engaged to each other meant at around 12 years old, it made you swoon that you were going to spend the rest of your life with your best friend, who you'd always found endearingly cute. He became more handsome as the years went by and at 16, he was the object of all of your desires.
He was manly, he was protective, he was sporty and most of all, he treated you so well. He would run around town with you no question to go shopping and indulge you in all of your cravings even if you needed to have ice cream at 10pm in the dead of winter. He would take the train with you all around Switzerland to see different lakes and ski resorts. He would help you study in the library and pass you your favourite snacks whenever it seemed you were getting tired. He would give you his jacket on the breezy nights watching the local sports matches.
You were so blinded with your affection towards him that you had convinced yourself that he did those things because he liked you back. Because he wanted to treat his future wife well.
The day Eunseok stamped all over your little heart was the day you waged a one-sided war against him. Eventually, Eunseok began reciprocating your snarky attitude and the rest had been history.
You told your maids and house security to refuse entry to the grounds to Eunseok that night, but because of your parents' unconditional offer to Eunseok to make your house also his home, he had spent a good part of the night on the other side of your bedroom door trying to get you to open it so he could apologise. For a man you were once smitten for, it was easy to put on your headphones and drown him out until he got exhausted and left.
˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗
Eunseok opens the car door for you and offers out his hand. In the darkness of his car, you grimace slightly, but force yourself to take his hand and use your free hand to smooth your dress out as you exit the car. The flashes from the press are blinding and carry on all the way up to the bottom of the staircase leading into the venue your parents had hired for the evening.
You try to keep a pleasant smile on your face as Eunseok passes his keys to the valet men before wrapping his arms around your waist. It comes nearly naturally to him, from all the photos your parents had made you pose together in dating back a decade or two. But it's your first official public appearance together, so the flashes intensify and you're taken aback. Eunseok feels you stumble slightly and begins to lead you along the carpet rolled out up to the stairs.
There's shouting from every direction- asking where your dress was from, asking if you were dating, asking why you were with the 'rival' company's son all the time- nothing new to you. After you traverse up the stairs, the two of you turn around and give a small wave at the cameras. You feel Eunseok drop his head down to yours, so you nestle yourself into him a bit more. How sweet, you thought to yourself, pushing down the urge to throw up at all this fakeness.
"Last chance to run," Eunseok murmurs as the doorman opens the glass doors into the foyer.
"Are you begging me to?" you counter, "Why do you keep insisting I back out?"
"I'm not. I just feel guilty, so I'll make up a solution if you want to stop all of this," he whispers into your ear. To others, it's an endearing moment as you keep your face neutral.
"It is all your fault. You should feel guilty. I'm not doing this for you or your family, but for my family. If this is what they want, then I'll oblige," you nod your head firmly.
While Eunseok's family was definitely benefiting more from the merger, it did come with some advantages for your family too: less competition in the market, combined success superseding the current top conglomerate, and for your parents: the knowledge that their first born child was going to have someone that was born to and raised from a good and rich family- someone that would be able to take care of you no matter what and understand your life in a way no other civilian could.
You know that your parents' argument for you to marry this guy was weak- there were plenty of good, rich guys from other companies- but you had been happy with the arrangement at the start and by the time you were 16 and he was breaking your heart, the companies had already started slowly merging or putting the plans into place. It was honestly a shame to your parents that other than rejecting you, Eunseok really had no faults. He was always polite, always courteous and intelligent enough to take over the conglomerate with you when the time would come.
Eunseok drops his arm from your waist, instead sliding his finger between yours.
"Miss. Y/L/N, Mr. Song," your family's general assistant approaches you in the foyer with a tight smile, "The event is about to begin. Please follow me to the stage. Are your speeches prepared?"
"Mhm," you hum, tugging Eunseok with you behind your assistant, "The rest of the family are here?"
"Yes. They're waiting by the stage," she replies as nerves finally settle into your stomach. You suddenly can't even look at Eunseok anymore as the gravity of the situation clicks into your mind. After this, you were going to be officially engaged in front of the world and you were going to be his bride in no less than a year from now. There was no turning back anymore.
Eunseok has to shoot you a look to stop you shaking on the stage as your father and his begin their speeches about their company, and the new era and blah, blah, blah. You tune them out in order to focus on your breathing and make sure you don't barf the second you step up to the podium. After minutes of nonsense, you feel Eunseok place his hand on the small of your back, signalling you to take to the stand.
"Um," you began, suddenly losing all the lessons you had learned in your public speaking classes growing up, "Thank you all for joining us on this occassion. As my father said, we are transitioning into a new era of our company and as I take on the role of COO, we believe it's important to have good people by your side to support you. While my family and the Songs are joining together in business, we are also joining together in family," you look over at Eunseok, who gives you a reassuring nod, "Song Eunseok and I are to be wed in one year's time. We have been close friends and partners since we were born and I couldn't imagine anyone better suited to be by my side. We can go into this business partnership fully trusting each other and our companies and we would be grateful if you could give us your support. Thank you."
You step away from the podiums as gasps ring through the crowd. The business venture was nearly an open secret in the industry, but your relationship with Eunseok was based on rumours only, having never confirmed it. Now that you have, it would stir up all these new rumours- were you only getting married for the merger? Did you two actually love each other? What about all the eligible bachelors and bachelorettes that had been conniving to get even a bit of your or Eunseok's time to beg for your hand in marriage?
Eunseok takes his place beside you, wrapping his arm around your waist again as your families smile together for the pictures. The engagement party also doubled as a celebration for the merger, so at least all of the spotlight wasn't on you.
You're glad that your friends are here. They're all business heirs too, since like attracted like at your school. Your best friend Minjeong attacks you with a hug the second you step down from the stage.
"Ah, my best friend is getting married," she sighs dreamily into your ear, "You know what, Y/N, at least he's handsome. It's harder to hate someone when they look that good."
"Then you marry him," you chide, half-joking, "The problem has never been his looks. It's the situation."
"He doesn't hate you half as much as you hate him," Minjeong tuts, "And he's in the same situation. He never got a choice either."
You know deep down that she's right, but you're committed to making his life hell until the ends of the earth for breaking your heart. If anyone could say anything about you, it was that you could hold a grudge.
"Whose side are you on?" you prod her arm, but she rolls her eyes and links arms with you to join Eunseok and his friends.
"Happy engagement, lovebirds," Sungchan greets you with two kisses on your cheeks, "So excited to be at your wedding."
"I'm sitting you at the back," you retort, sticking your tongue out. You hated that Eunseok's friends were genuinely nice and funny people. It was so hard to distance yourself from Eunseok when your friendship groups had been deeply intertwined since you all could walk.
"Not when I'm a groomsman, right Eunseok-ie?" Sungchan swings his arm around his friend's shoulder, pulling him close, "Now tell me, who's the best man?"
Eunseok shoves his arm off, "You can just draw straws for it."
"I'll be the best man, hyung," Seunghan grins cheekily, "I'll make sure to give a really good speech, okay?"
"It's almost as if it's a real wedding," you smile bitterly, "Jeong, you'll be my maid of honour right?"
"You have to ask me properly," Minjeong whines, "We're going to do this wedding right, okay? My best friend will only get married once. I'm not letting you let your wedding planner do everything; we've been planning our dream weddings since we were 10 so we'll do it according to that."
"C'mon Y/N," Wonbin bumps his shoulder with yours, "We can make it fun. We know you'd rather not marry hyung, but he had always been the groom in all the weddings you'd plan when you were young. Now it's like a dream come true."
"Yah, Park Wonbin," Eunseok grits his teeth at his friend for bringing up the past. You wince at the reminder as Minjeong slaps his arm.
"Y/N, I think your mother is calling over you and Eunseok to dance," Shotaro calls for you softly, and you turn around to see your mother desperately signalling to you to join her on the dance floor.
"I'll see you guys later," you bid your friends a goodbye as you follow Eunseok into the crowd.
The night crawls by. It's nearly painful as you fake a smile with every passerby and acquaintance who congratulates you for your engagement. It feels like you're getting stabbed in the heart over and over again as everyone coos over how in love the two of you seem and how they always knew you were going to end up together. It crushes you as Eunseok leans down to your ear while you dance, apologising for how this was your life.
You get into his car after the party. The ride home is silent, apart from the noise of the city around you that seeps in even through the rolled up windows. Eunseok won't even dare breathe too loud in fear of making your life even less like what you had dreamed it to be.
He pulls up to your house and you make a quick move to unbuckle your seatbelt and open the door in one motion, but Eunseok wraps his hand around your wrist gently, bringing you back down.
"What is it now, Song?" you sigh in frustration, closing your eyes in defeat.
"I know this night has made your hatred for me 10 times worse," Eunseok begins, shuffling in his seat to reach into his inside pocket, "And I know that what we have isn't real to you, but I thought you at least deserved this."
Your eyes flutter open and you look over to him. He uncurls his clenched hand, unveiling a shiny ring in the middle of his palm. You bite back the gasp that bubbles up through your throat, and you reluctantly take the ring between your fingers without looking at him.
It's exactly your dream ring. It's what you imagined the love of your life to propose with when you were younger. It's what you wanted to be someone's physical manifestation of their love and devotion to you. That makes it all the worse when it comes from Eunseok.
"I remembered," Eunseok reads your mind, "When we went ring shopping when we were young for fun because you wanted to make sure I would propose with the right ring. I hope it's still what you want."
You can't bear to look at Eunseok at all, so you clench the ring in your hand and open the door, "Goodnight Eunseok. Thank you. Get home safely."
There's 100 steps between your front door and your bedroom. It takes what's left of your energy to hold back the sobs that threaten to escape prematurely. As soon as your bedroom door clicks shut, you collapse against your floor and break down in tears.
Why did Song Eunseok have to be such a good man? Why did you have to hate him? He was yours now, and that was what younger you wanted all along. Why were you taking it out on him? You had been holding onto a grudge for so long and he had been trying to make amends in private ever since, despite going along with your whole enemies thing for his own fun.
You hated how you knew that Song Eunseok could and would give you the life you wanted. You hated how all you wanted to do was love him like it was your choice and for him to love you back like it was his. But in this world, you were privileged enough to have everything you ever wanted, aside from the choice to love whoever you wanted to.
You hated how you didn't even have a choice in loving someone who didn't love you back.
˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗
You fought with Eunseok nearly every time that you saw him through your university years. You found problems in the way he positioned himself too close to you and problems in the way he would distance himself and act like strangers when you did complain about that. You found problems in the way he didn't talk to other girls despite rejecting you and found problems when he would go on dates after you said that.
In short, Song Eunseok was a problem to you.
Yizhuo was forcing shots into your hands and demanding that you downed them with her as you tried to tune back in to the party going on around you. You couldn't think of anything else the second that Song Eunseok walked through the door arm in arm with some girl.
It was the last party of your undergraduate university days, since exams had finished and you were going to graduate in just a couple of weeks. Someone had rented out some kind of manor in the outskirts of Oxford, dedicated for everyone to stay at and party for a weekend. You knew the organiser through a friend of a friend, but everyone that had been invited was someone you either knew personally or knew of. The spoilt brats community at your university was large, but tight.
You obliged Yizhuo's request and bitterly downed the drink, hissing as it burned through your tracts, "What is this? It tastes disgusting."
"Alcohol isn't made to taste nice," she tutted at you, following your line of sight before sighing, "I guess it's time to get you more so you don't have to be sober looking at that."
Minjeong shook her head on the other side of you, "I can't believe he would bring someone here. He knew you'd be here. So disrespectful."
You saw that Eunseok was about to turn, so you quickly spin away in order to avoid eye contact, "It doesn't matter to me. We're not dating."
"But he's your fiancé," Yizhuo stomped in defiance, "He should have some respect for you."
"Since he didn't want to date me, i'd rather him date other people. Then it just looks like he rejected me because he didn't like me as a person," you affirmed, taking another shot with Minjeong.
"Y/N, please. You were 16 when you confessed and 16 year old boys don't have the most mature outlook on life," Minjeong argued, coughing after the bitter shot, "I'm sure he's not stupid anymore. You grew up hot and he's practically tripping over his own feet trying to chase after you."
"He's not chasing me," you scoffed, "He brought a girl here."
"Oh, you're impossible, Y/N," Yizhuo cried out, beginning to slur, "What do you actually want that poor boy to do? Even I would be confused with the way you act."
Your best friends have been trying to knock sense into you since you turned 18 and Eunseok gave up his dream to study at Harvard to be with you in England. They had claimed that Eunseok realised his feelings for you and wanted to make up for rejecting you. You claimed that if that was his intention, he would have told you that by now instead of pestering you by inserting himself into your new life without reason.
"He can do whatever he wants," you turned your nose up, "I don't care about him."
"Well you better act that way. He's coming," Minjeong warned you, suddenly disappearing with Yizhuo and leaving you stranded with your fiancé walking towards you.
It honestly felt like the grim reaper floating over in slow motion before he came to collect your soul. You fought hard to control the grimace on your face as he stopped in front of you.
"Y/N," he greeted softly, leaning in to give you a hug. You stood still, but you don't push him away. You ignored the way your heart skipped a beat when he pressed his cheek gently against the top of your head.
"Eunseok,"
"How were exams? You're graduating this year, right?" his head is tilted at you, eyes focused into yours.
"Why are you even asking? I'm sure you know my plans for the next 10 years considering you're still following me around," you scoffed, "Does your new girl know you're moving to New York after graduation so you can stalk me while I do my masters?"
"Are you jealous?" he smirked suddenly, gentle demeanour disappearing, "She's just a friend."
"Does she know that? I don't care what you do, Song. I just feel bad for the poor girl whose heart you're going to break when you tell her you're engaged," you feigned nonchalance, pouring yourself another shot, "I guess it's my fault for telling you to have your fun and experience things since apparently you'll be so devoid of love when you get married."
"Y/N," he trailed off, grabbing the soju bottle that had appeared in your hands, "You know it's not like that. I didn't mean it like that when I reject-"
"Save it, Song," you rolled your eyes, "Your girl is coming. Don't go blaming me when time comes to break her heart."
You turned away in time and managed to snatch back your alcohol before arms wrap around Eunseok's and a high pitch voice squeals to him about how she lost him. You find Sungchan somewhere in the crowd and convince him to call you a taxi to take you back into the town where your apartment was. Before he could even confirm the booking, you had already disappeared into the crowd, the shots you had taken truly seeping into your blood and making your head spin.
You don't really remember what happened the rest of that night, but if you try hard enough, you can remember being tucked into a bed on the third floor, big eyes peering down at you as you tossed under the duvet, a hunched figure sat at the end of the bed on the floor and a soft voice singing you to a deep slumber.
˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗
"It's gorgeous, darling," your mother's voice takes you out of the focus mode you're in. The sunlight seeps through the stained glass, illuminating the sunroom at the back of your house. If you look down through the windows, you'd find the garden that your mother has been cultivating for decades. The rose garden with its arches and its vines was where you'd dreamed to get proposed to when you were young.
"You think so?" you showed her the sketch in full, turning the pad, "Do you think it's easy enough to create in real life?"
"We can make anything you want happen," your mother takes a seat in the lounge chair next to yours.
"Can you make Eunseok love me back?" you hum dejectedly, shading in the corset of what would be your wedding dress.
"He does, sweetheart. You just refuse to see it," your mother swiftly utters, and you stop your drawing, clenching the pencil tightly in your fist.
"Why does everyone say that?" you growl, "Everyone but Eunseok."
"Because you act like you hate him. You act like marrying him is the worst thing in the world. You act like there's nothing he could say or do that would bring him back into your favour despite you loving him all these years," your mother is lecturing you now, "He follows your lead, my darling. He will go to the ends of the earth for you and he always has. What more does he have to do for you to accept the way he shows his love? What more can he do to have your forgiveness?"
There's tears welling up in your eyes and your mother takes the drawing pad away from you to examine the dress you had envisioned. She carries on while you chew your lip and fight back the tears.
"You're going to be beautiful in this dress. One year's time will fly by, so make amends with Eunseok by then. Even if you don't go into this marriage as lovers, at least go into it as friends. That will make your life easier."
"I don't want to be friends," you grit out.
"Mhm, you want all or nothing. Why don't you ask him, then? He threw the ball in your court when he asked you if this marriage is what you want. Someone who doesn't love you or care about you wouldn't give you the option to run away to save yourself, you know?" you hate how insightful your mother is as she grabs your left hand, "This ring is beautiful, Y/N. He knows your heart like it's his."
"Cause it is his," you choke as the tears begin falling, "And he stamped all over it 8 years ago."
"He was just a young boy back then. He's followed you all over the world to be by your side ever since. He's sacrificed his own life to make your dreams come true. You have no choice but to marry each other, but he's been making choices to give you the life you wanted," she strokes your hair gently, "Can you give the boy a chance?"
Over the years, your parents had apologised to you for putting you in such a situation. They had told you that if you truly, inside your heart, didn't want to get married to Song Eunseok, they would call the whole thing off. The marriage was a way to ensure the merger wouldn't go awry by putting you and Eunseok as collateral if one side ever did try to betray the other. Tying the two of you together in marriage was a way to prevent either families from ruining the other.
You considered putting a stop to things more times than you could count on your fingers, but selfishly, you would imagine yourself on a rocking chair on a porch, hair grey and skin wrinkly and when you would look over to see who would be on the other chair, Eunseok was the only one you could imagine with you.
"But I've treated him so horribly all these years," you hiccup, trying to stop your crying, "There's no way that Eunseok would love someone like me."
"Because you won't let him," she stands up and places the drawing pad back in your lap, "Y/N, your father and I love you very much and all we want is your happiness. We haven't opposed this marriage despite how hard you've tried to push Eunseok away because we know that if you let him, he would make you truly happy. You're the only person stopping that happiness."
You ponder on her words for a while after she leaves, adding little details to your dress. For someone who was acting like this wedding was going to ruin their life, you sure were investing a lot of your free time into it. Maybe Minjeong had gotten into your head; unless you planned to divorce Eunseok (after the 5 year clause, per the contract), you were only going to get married once, so you should at least do it in your style.
Wonbin was right at your engagement party. You'd been planning your wedding since young. You knew exactly which flowers you wanted to adorn the aisle, which flavour of cake you wanted to eat, which song was going to play while you walked down the aisle, and whose eyes you wanted on you on the other side as you did. Eunseok had always been your dream man- he was your first crush, your first love and your first heartbreak all rolled up into one devastatingly handsome package. You imagined him in his crisp suit, laughing through his tears because you just looked so beautiful, and the thought of that takes you out of your fantasy and back into the room that was filled not with tears of happiness, but of silence.
You look down at the ring. The sun is hitting it perfectly, making the diamond shimmer in the beam. You slide it off and inspect the band for the first time, wondering what size he got since you didn't even know your size. Your heart stops when you first notice it. It's so small that if you blinked at that moment, you probably wouldn't have even noticed it and you would've lived the rest of your life not knowing it was there.
You run your nail against the engraving, your breath hitched as you read it.
To the one I'll always choose.
It's always been about choice. This whole time, it's been about your freedom to choose.
You and Eunseok weren't born with the privilege of choosing the one who was going to love you so hard that it would drive you crazy. You were instead born with a silver spoon in your mouth and a signed contract that because your family was going to have a girl first, that girl would be married to the Song's first born when the time came.
There was no question or argument about it. You grew up beside Eunseok knowing you were going to spend the rest of your life together, so you chose to learn everything about him. You chose to learn that he loved playing basketball with his friends and that he became silly and unserious when around them. You chose to learn that he doted on his much younger baby brother and that he would fight anyone and anything that could bring harm to him. You chose to learn that Eunseok had a soft heart that had its very own soft spot reserved just for you- one that grew bigger after your hatred for him did as well.
While you chose to hate Eunseok for rejecting you, he chose to stick by your side anyways. He chose to join you in Oxford, even if most of his friends went to America to study. He chose to live at the block just down the street from yours, so he could walk behind you to lectures and check that you were okay every day without overwhelming you. He chose to sleep on hard floors and wake up with kinks in his neck because he chose to sing you to sleep while you were drunk and then refused to leave to sleep in a nice bed so he could watch over you and protect you in your state. He chose to take on a job in New York for two years instead of joining his father's company straight out of business school so that you had someone to accompany you on your midnight walks through New York City. He chose to give you the choice to leave if marrying him was truly a burden you couldn't bear, because your happiness was the grand reward of the consequences that he would bear in your place.
When you chose to hate him, Eunseok let love grow in the emptiness that you left behind instead. He would choose you a million times over and over again until the day you'd finally see it. Your hatred for the situation stemmed from the fact that you thought your choices were stripped away in being arranged to marry. You wanted Eunseok to love you not because he had to, but because it was his choice to.
You were too blind by your rage to see that Eunseok had been choosing you over and over again not because of the arrangement, but in spite of it. That was the greatest love of them all.
-
On the next sunny day, Eunseok joins you on the bench in the middle of the rose garden. You'd been sketching up ideas on how you want the aisle to look like. You were thinking light flowers along the bottom with candles dispersed to illuminate it. In your dreams, you'd get married at sunset in a glass pavilion that could hold only your closest friends and families. As the sun started dipping, the candles would take over as the source of light and bathe everyone in a soft, golden glow. In your dreams, the light would reflect onto Eunseok's face, highlighting his sharp cheekbones and large, round eyes that were peering down into yours.
"What did you call me over for?" Eunseok sits on his hands and looks around. It's spring time and the garden is at its most vibrant and beautiful.
You hold out your hand in front of you, "I found the engraving on the ring."
Eunseok takes a sharp breath in, "Ah you did?"
"Did you not want me to see it?"
"I had just hoped that whenever you did see it, you would believe it," Eunseok whispered, "It's true, by the way."
"I know," your response has Eunseok turning his head so fast it almost gives him whiplash.
"You do?"
"Mhm. You chose to follow me around the world despite me hating you and you having to give up on your dream schools just so you could try to prove yourself to me. You chose to keep giving me gifts on birthdays when we were abroad since my family often couldn't make it. You always choose me. Why?"
"In part to make amends for the mistake I made when I was young pushing away your feelings like that without thought," Eunseok explained, "But for the most part because I care about you and I want to make the best of a bad situation we're in. I know that no one wants to be in an arranged marriage. I just wanted to show you that I could give you the life you wanted. That you could be happy with me."
Your heart aches at his words as you realise how truly misguided your perception of him was. You had thought that he was following you around to torment you and to remind you that you could never be free, but all this time, he was letting you live your dreams and staying by your side to show that he was supporting you.
"I've treated you so badly over the years and you still want to marry me?" you meet his eyes that have been trained on you since the moment he sat down.
Eunseok giggles and reaches up his warm palm to your cold face, "Hm, your words are harmless Y/N. You've shown your affection to me in other ways; I know you love me."
You roll your eyes and push his hand away, "In your dreams, Song."
"Mhm, actually in your dreams," Eunseok teases, "Considering you've been dreaming about marrying me for 10 years."
"And I don't know why. I must be sick in the head for that. Did you hit me in the head when we were young or something?" you retort, trying to move away from him.
Eunseok lets out a full-bodied laugh that sends butterflies through you instead of the burning rage that usually ensued whenever he was having fun in front of you. He stretched his arm around you behind the bench and pulled you closer to him, "Just admit it, Y/N. Everyone knows you've had a fat crush on me since we were teens and it's only ever grown. There's a very, very fine line between love and hate."
"I still hate you," you grumble, "This doesn't mean anything."
Eunseok drops his head down, pushing your head into his shoulder. Your first instinct is to recoil away and grimace, but Eunseok's grip on your shoulder is tight, so you try to relax in his hold.
"You'll always be my girl, Y/N. You just have to accept that."
You hum and watch the bees buzz around the rose garden, "I've always wanted the whole ordeal- the crushing, the pining, the courting, going on dates, having your firsts, moving in together, proposing how you want. I feel like that was taken away from me before I even knew what they were and even if we do those things, how would I know what's real and what's fake? What you're doing because of me and what you're doing because of the arrangement- that kind of stuff."
Eunseok's heartbeat is slow and strong, "The arrangement only brought us to each other. How can I make you believe that everything I do for you is because I want to?"
"How about we start with when you rejected me and left poor little 16 year old me heartbroken?"
Eunseok scoffs, "Y/N, I was stupid, okay? It was a mistake, I was young and I was too blind to see what was in front of me. You were still special to me back then and I have always cared for you, but I didn't know what I wanted back then. I grew up and haven't looked back since."
"And the girls you brought around at university?"
"Because you were demanding that I dated other people," Eunseok rolls his eyes, thinking about your past explosive arguments about relationships, "I just went on dates here and there, but never anything serious. I always let them know that I couldn't commit, but you know there was a line wrapping around Oxford wanting to date me."
You chuckle at that. Everyone was falling over their feet for the chance to get just a second of Song Eunseok's time, the same way he was doing to you. He was incredibly popular and girls would approach you to ask you to set them up, but you would always growl and send them on their way.
"You were only the most eligible bachelor because you're the son of the third richest family in Korea," you sneer, jokingly.
"And I'm handsome, charming, intelligent and kind," Eunseok lists off his traits on his fingers, "But everyone knows you've always had my heart."
"I don't know if I can believe that."
He shrugs simply beside you, "Doesn't matter. I can show you now."
"What?"
"We can date from now on. I'll show you how I feel. Then in one year's time, you'll be gladly getting married to me instead of having to be dragged up the aisle kicking and screaming by your family," he says it so casually that you question if the shocked reaction you're having is the abnormal one.
"Date?" you splutter out, completely bewildered, pulling away from him, "Us two? Now?"
"Why are you saying it like it's crazy? I basically just confessed to you," Eunseok crosses his arms in front of his chest and tilts his head in confusion, "Are you rejecting me? Is this payback?"
You wave your hand in dismissal, "Yah, you're really confusing me here, Eunseok. I don't know what I'm feeling right now."
He laughs again, and he's glad that he can finally laugh with you for the first time in years. He takes your hand between his and squeezes assuringly, "It's okay. We can figure it out together as we go. Just stay by my side, okay?"
You sigh into the breeze. The air was crisping up as the sky began to illuminate in visions of pink and purple. You look over at Eunseok and the reflection of the sun makes his eyes look iridescent. One thing you've always known about Eunseok is that with him, you felt safe, so you nod and squeeze his hand back, "Yeah."
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The first time you saw Eunseok again after your undergraduate graduation, it was in New York City at the end of summer.
You had spent the entire summer travelling nearly every country in Europe with your friends, while Eunseok was forced to come home and start learning how to actually work in his father's company before he started his role at the New York branch. You were glad to have this summer without him considering the two of you spent your summers together as children and as teens, your friendship groups overlapped so you also had to hang out with him.
There were endless boxes in your apartment since decorating your space was one of your life's great pleasures. The boxes were organised by room and had been shipped out from England at the start of the summer when you moved out. They'd been collecting dust, so all your windows were thrown open in the summer heat to air out the apartment and the dust. Of course you had AC, but there was something about the noise of the city traffic and the hustle and bustle travelling up to your apartment that made you feel like you were truly in the city.
The knock on your door made you groan instantly and you had to suppress the urge of banging your head into the coffee table you were decorating. You took small and slow steps to the front door, but the pattering on the door wasn't letting up.
"Already here to bother me on my first day? It's only been like 3 hours since I got off the plane," you sighed as you came face to face with your dreaded fiancé.
Eunseok rolled his eyes and pushed past your shoulders into your kitchen, "I know you missed me. I brought takeout since you probably haven't eaten and don't have any food yet." Eunseok held up a bag of his favourite Korean food in the city and placed it on your dining table, dishing out the styrofoam boxes.
He arrived in the city a week and a half before you did, moving into the apartment across the hall so he had been able to get himself settled into both his job and his city before you came to rain down terror on him.
"What makes you think I want to eat with you?"
"I bought it, so I'm gonna eat it. Up to you if you wanna starve or not," Eunseok shrugged, already making himself comfy in one of your expensive dining chairs. He took out some plastic cutlery from the bag and began to dig in to the beef bibimbap he had ordered for himself. There was another few boxes of food in the bag, all of which smelling amazing and instantly causing your stomach to grumble.
Sheepishly, you took the seat across from him and scavenged through the food. He had ordered you some tteokbokki and a stew with some rice. Either he knew you too well or it was a lucky guess. For the sake of your heart, you settled on the latter choice.
The two of you ate in silence for a while, not really looking up at each other and just staring passively at your food. Silence was few and far between when it came to you and Eunseok. It was always hushed arguing or full blown insulting between the two of you no matter where you went or how inappropriate it may have seemed to others. You were sure there were rumours that the two of you didn't always get on despite being photographed together so often, but your families' PR teams were experts in mangling all those 'rumours'. 
You broke the silence first, "How's the new job?"
The heir in front of you coughs and looks at you strangely, as if he couldn't believe you would ask him that, "It's... work. Not horrible and met a couple friendly colleagues. Having this job does make me feel so grown up and responsible, though," after the initial shock of you initiating a conversation, Eunseok began blabbering about his new position at his family's company.
"Well then hopefully it makes you more mature," you snide.
Eunseok scoffed, "Trust me, Y/N, when I say that I'm the more mature one out of us. You'll find out what I mean one day."
"If you were mature enough, you'd know to oppose this crazy marriage with me," you turned your head away from him, feeling the anger bubble up again.
"And it's because I'm mature enough that I'm not," he shrugged, "Unlike you, I don't think this marriage will be the worst thing that can happen to me."
"I'm honoured," you retorted, "I don't know why you think that when all I've done is make your life difficult. Why would you think I can't continue for the rest of our lives?"
He smiled coyly at you, pushing a drink that appeared in the bag towards you, "You'll get tired, sweetheart. Then you'll fall in love with me."
You feel sick at how he's all entirely wrong. Despite that, you appreciate how he's always able to diffuse any tension between the two of you even if his words are always cocky and arrogant. z
You don't say anything to him for a long while. When you finished up your food in silence, he packed everything anyway and placed it in the correct bins. Wordlessly, he began to unpack your boxes with you, unwrapping everything bubble wrapped and placing it on the kitchen counters for you to organise. You would have protested this act of service, but he's right- fighting him all the time does get tiring.
In this light from the living room as the sun setting made your apartment glow and burst with light, Eunseok looks radiant. You hope he can't see you admiring him from the next room. It's almost as if you're a normal couple, moving into their first home and starting their new life together. It's a melancholy sight as you ponder the what if's.
He breaks down all of your boxes flat, humming to himself a song that you think you've heard at the end of parties when you'd be sat on someone's bedroom floor just talking or playing cards half-drunk. Eunseok turned his head towards you and you whipped your head away so fast it hurts your neck.
"You still have this?" he held up a mug that instantly flashed you back to 6 years ago. The mug is majority a light pink and wonky in places since you made it yourself from clay. It was a few months process making and painting the mug, but when you were 15 with the biggest crush on him, having a mug brandishing "Y/N + EUNSEOK" on it made you feel giddy inside.
"All my other mugs broke," you lied through your teeth, snatching it from his grip and placing it in a random empty cupboard, "My mother packed it for me when I moved to Oxford."
"Mhm, okay," you could tell he was smirking but you made yourself busy with the plates, "I'm gonna take the boxes down to the recycling. Do you want any more help?"
"I've had enough of you for today," you breathed out. Too much time with him truly drove you crazy, "But thanks."
"Anytime, princess. I'm just across the hall if you need me and I'll get your number whenever you get it set up." he wiped his hands on his jeans and have you that charming smile that made you fall in the first place.
You see him out wordlessly. You don't argue when he turns up the next day demanding for your number in case you ever needed anything from him (or if he wanted to come and bother you). You feign annoyance when one morning he's insisting that he ran out of coffee in his apartment and wanted some of yours. You leave him in your apartment because you were running late to class, but when you get home, you open the cupboard and try not to fall all over again when you see a matching, much lumpier, handmade blue mug that brandished the words "TO FOREVER <3" on it next to yours.
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You're tossing and turning in your seat as Eunseok shakes you gently. He laughs when you groan under your breath as he wakes you up, "Sit up. We're landing soon."
The sleep you got on the flight was long, but you still woke up incredibly tired since you kept getting woken up for meals. You were grateful that you could fly first class with separate seats and beds, otherwise you'd be much more groggy than you already were.
Buckling yourself in the seat next to Eunseok's, you yawn, "Eunseok, what the fuck is an engagement trip?"
"A trip celebrating our engagement, duh," he looks at you like you're stupid, so you shove him as hard as your tired body could muster, "Like a honeymoon but before. Never too many excuses to take a vacation. Plus, we're going to be busy this trip."
You've never taken a vacation with just Eunseok before. Sure, you've lived in three different countries together outside of Korea and gone on a couple of vacations as children and with a large group of friends, but never just the two of you with a purpose.
"I don't understand why our wedding planner couldn't just pick a venue for herself and call it a day. Why must we go all the way to Italy and do it ourselves?" you're up to your neck in work, but you couldn't protest when you found a week blocked off in your calendar by your assistant, telling you it was 'orders from above' AKA your father.
"It was my idea," he confesses with a shrug, "Won't it be nice if we actually like where we're getting married? If we chose it ourselves because we can see ourselves getting married there?"
It feels like your heart is clenching at the insinuations behind his words. He wants to get involved with your wedding planning, like it's a real wedding. You sniff and turn away from him. It is a real wedding, you remind yourself. You were going to get married legally and this wedding was real, no matter the intention behind it. No matter if you loved or hated each other, it was a real wedding.
"Yeah. Everywhere in Italy is nice so at leadt it'll be a good trip," the past couple of months since you've been officially engaged to Eunseok, you've been attempting to be nicer and hold back your retorts. You've made an effort to argue less and he's been trying to get on your good side. You've both been busy with work considering the news of the merger brought a whole new wave of problems, so you've had no time to interrogate his profession to "date" you. Thank gosh, because your heart would not be able to take that.
The plane lands soon enough and before you know it, you're in a private car going to your hotel. You were staying in Milan, but driving around Lake Como and Tuscany to tour the list of potential venues that your wedding planner had come up with. You were definitely going to be exhausted by the end of it.
The drive was relatively silent, just listening to music and looking out of the window, but when you arrive at the hotel, Eunseok opens the car door for you and snakes his arm around your waist as you walk up to the front desk, "Hello. We're checking in to the penthouse suite. For Song?"
The hotel clerk smiles sweetly, handing over your keys swiftly, "All ready for you both, Mr Song. Congratulations on your engagement."
You're spluttering a thank you with flushed cheeks as Eunseok drags you over to the elevator, "You told them?"
"I just wanted the free champagne that I assume will be up there," he grins cheekily and you roll your eyes. As if he couldn't afford it.
You are however delighted to find a small cake beside the bucket of ice cold champagne and you dig into the red velvet goodness as you watch Eunseok open up your suitcases and hang your clothes up in the master bedroom wardrobe meticulously. You're halfway into the cake when he drags his suitcases out of the room.
"Wait, where are you going?" you frown.
Eunseok snickers, "To the other bedroom? Why? Do you want me to stay with you?"
"Oh. I just didn't know there were two rooms." you say sheepishly.
Eunseok stops in his tracks, hand on his suitcase loosening, "So you went into this trip okay with the thought of sleeping with me? If so, I'll stay here with you then."
"No!" you call out, "Just- just shut up and go."
The smirk on his face is smug as he nods and continues his leave, "Alright, sweetheart, but let me know if you get nightmares and want company."
You bear the butter knife at him and he laughs melodically on his way out. You pop the champagne yourself and drown a glass down, hoping you'd be able to make it out the trip unscathed. He's running into the room with a pout after hearing the loud pop of the corkscrew, so you pour the both of you a glass and you clink them together as you chugged them back.
The days pass by similarly. You wake up and have breakfast together before embarking on a sleepy drive to a venue. You have lunch in endless terraces and gardens under the sun, basking in the heat and evaluating the venue you saw that morning. You both ooh and ahh at different venues that all look the same before you find a flaw in it that stops you from making the decision to host one of the most important days of your lives there. Some are too big, some too small, too pretentious, not pretty enough, the flowers aren't the ones you envisioned, the location too secluded or not enough. You always agree on the flaws of the venues and it's the penultimate full day when you make it to the final venue on the list.
"If I don't like this venue then I'm not marrying you," you huff in the car as it pulls up the driveway.
"Who knew wedding venues were so complicated?" Eunseok exhales in frustration, "Should we just get married in Seoul?"
You puff out your lips, "Italy was always my dream, but I was naive to the process."
Eunseok smiles and takes your hand, "I have faith in this one. At least I hope." The commitment he has to giving you your dream wedding despite it all is unwavering.
When you enter the final venue, you think that maybe it was the last on the list for a reason, since you're blown away every step you take through the grounds. The hallways to the main room is ornate and delicate at the same time, with pretty floral paintings wrapping the walls and big windows letting in the golden light. The room where your reception could be held is stunning with murals all over the walls and a dome ceiling that compliments it perfectly. It's neither too big, nor too small and there's little nooks and crannies for guests to nestle themselves in. You could see yourself in the middle, slow dancing with your head on your husband's shoulder.
"This is nice," Eunseok awes, coming up behind you with the grounds manager, "Very pretty."
You nod in agreement and ask to see the gardens, since you always wanted to get married outside in the sun. The manager gushes over the outside while she leads you out and your heart is pounding in anticipation. Eunseok probably guessed how giddy you were, because he joins you by your side and gives you a hopeful look.
"We're here. Most brides start from here and have the aisle straight down to the arch."
She throws open the double doors and you gasp in admiration at the sight in front of you. The stairs going down to the garden seen steep, but grand. You envision that your father could probably help you hobble down to the garden, where it was staged as a wedding venue. There's chairs laid out in rows, decorated in tulle and bows with an aisle adorned in flowers. At the end of the garden, there's an arch with vines wrapped around it and flowers creeping up. From where you were standing, you could see that this garden was actually on a balcony overlooking a lake that seemed to be glowing and sparkling as the slight wind caused some ripples on the surface
"I'll give you two some time to explore?" she proposes, to which Eunseok nods and wraps his hand around your wrist, tugging you down the stairs.
"First impressions?" he's looking around with blown out pupils as the two of you reach the bottom of the stairs and the beginning of the aisle.
"I like this one a lot," you shyly admit, "It's exactly what I imagined."
"I love it as well. Why don't you walk down the aisle and see how you feel. Imagine yourself on the day," he's taking off in front of you, running swiftly to the arch before you could even take a breath and get a word out.
At his antics, you let out a full-belly laugh and straighten out the ivory dress you happened to be wearing. You look down at the slip dress hitting your ankles and think it might be fate you chose to wear this specific dress on this specific day. You look up and find Eunseok suddenly frozen still at the other end, hands intertwined in front of him and his eyes trained solely on you.
When he notices that you meet his eyes, he gives you a gentle smile as he mouths to you, "Come here."
It takes you a few breaths to actually muster up the courage to follow his direction. You think that walking down a straight path shouldn't be such a big deal, but the thought that this could be the very steps you take to marry the same man at the end in less than a year's time strikes your heart.
The aisle is a soft and smooth stone, perfect for walking on in high heels. It's wide enough that a wedding dress wouldn't drag along the sides and knock over the flowers and long enough for anticipation to build as Eunseok gazes down at you from afar.
"Y/N," Eunseok calls over.
You take the first step and your breath catches in your throat. All you can look at is Eunseok now, with his shirt unbuttoned at the first three to expose some chest and his hair falling over his eyes. He keeps fidgeting with his fingers, as if he couldn't stand still and his lips are puckering and stretching as if he had much more to say.
The second step is easier than the first and the third one even more so. By the fifth step, Eunseok is chewing on his bottom lip and you're ridden with anticipation to meet him at the end.
With each step you take down the aisle, you're flashed back to all the crucial moments in your life with Song Eunseok so far.
You were sandbox best friends. You learned to walk together, and then ride bikes with each other. You learned to swim in the same swimming pool that still remained in your garden. You learned to ski and snowboard with each other in the blustery mountains of the alps. You were each other's first heartbreaks when you were teens. You took your first alcoholic drink together with your friends by the Han river, faces flushed red and hearts beating out of your chests at the prospect of getting caught. You got blackout drunk together for the first time during your first week of university. You posed together as you threw your graduation caps up in the air at the end of the three years. You chased each other around New York City, running around in blocks after he snatched your phone from your grasp when you would ignore him. You begrudgingly invited him to ride swan paddle boats with you in every lake and river around the city since he was the only person that would drop everything for you at a moment's notice. You would leave containers of home cooked food outside his doors when you noticed he was getting swamped with work, knowing he had the tendency to either order too much unhealthy takeout or stop eating altogether when busy.
With every step you take to meet Eunseok at the bottom of the aisle, you accept that Eunseok has been with you for every step of your life.
He's an arm's length away when you notice his eyes are glossier than usual. Eunseok refuses to break the stare between the two of you as you arrive in front of him, exactly where you would stand under the arch if you got married at this very space.
"Are you crying?" you whisper, afraid of your own voice.
He chortles and dabs at his eyes, "It's just the wind."
"Mhm," you hum, fighting back the smile threatening to expose your emotions, "What do you think?"
Eunseok takes a bold step towards you and closes the gap between your bodies. He's closer than you've ever had him and you can nearly feel his breath on your skin. It's making you dizzy but all you can do is keep your eyes on him.
"Eunseok," you murmur in a hushed tone.
His head is drifting closer down to yours, forehead nearly touching. If you moved your face even just by a centimetre, your noses would bump and you knew you wouldn't be able to stop yourself.
"Let's get married here," Eunseok nudges his face forwards. You have to stop yourself from pulling back even with the drumming in your chest, "You're going to look so beautiful. You do already."
"I like this place. Our parents would like it here too."
Eunseok's eyes flutter shut as he sighs and shakes his head gently, "No, let's get married here because we want to, not because our parents would like it. Let's get married because we want to."
"Eunseok," his name falls out of your mouth like it's the most sacred word you can say.
His forehead is still pressed against yours, his eyes squeezed tight and his palm comes up to make home on your cheek, "I love you. I always have."
Sincerity drips from his words and you know that this time, it's the real thing. It's the words you'd been dying to hear him say sincerely for a decade. It's the words that underlined every fight and argument you've had as adults. He finally and bravely bares his heart to you for the first time, still considerate as he always had been by giving you the choice to determine what will end up of the two of you.
There's something different about his profession of love after all you'd experienced together. Back then, when you confessed that you liked him, the world would probably say it was just some puppy love- a silly high school crush. Something that would fizzle over and dissolve when you would experience the real hardships of life and what it could throw at you. You think that a late confession carries a profound and heartfelt meaning like no other.
"Seok-"
He cuts you off before you could finish, pulling away from you and causing you to open your eyes, "I don't need an answer yet, Y/N. I just need you to know that I want to be with you. I want to be your boyfriend, your husband, your partner- whatever you want me to be. I want to make you only happy from now on, instead of angry or resentful. I want to be by your side and keep following you around the world. I want everything with you."
You've never felt more sure of anything else in the world when you bounce up on your tiptoes and capture his face between your hands, pressing your lips against his. It feels like every nerve ending in your body is on fire, but at the same time feeling relief as if this was the one thing in the world that could finally relieve you from all the anger and bitterness you had been displaying and trying to internalise for all these years. Deep down, you could never ever hate Song Eunseok, the boy who has had your heart since you were just young.
He's rigid for a split second while he processes your own confession, but he quickly regains enough composure to part his lips and deepen the kiss, moulding your lips to each other's. It's unlike anything he's ever felt before and he finally understood the real pleasure of kissing someone you really love. As he runs his tongue along your bottom lip, Eunseok knows that he could do this for the rest of his life.
"Song Eunseok, I love you too," your eyes are glistening with adoration as you pull away from his kiss, "Let's get married?"
When he finally looks you in the eye at the moment you give yourself back to him, he can't help the tears that finally break free from their barrier. He's laughing as he finally pulls you to his chest, wrapping his arms around your body in desperation of keeping you close to him. You nuzzle deeper into him and he tucks his head into your neck. His body is shaking with the laughter of relief and his heartstrings tug when he feels his shirt dampening at the exact spot where your face laid.
"You're the one I'll always choose to love," he coo's into your ear words that travel straight into your heart, "For the rest of my life, for the rest of yours."
You look down at your hand and breathe deeply as the ring glistens on your finger. The Italian sun makes it shine bright as the symbol of your love. You start thinking of what you want to engrave on the inside of the ring that you want to get him. You start thinking of the dress and suit you'll be wearing at this very spot soon enough. You're dreaming of the house you move into together and of the company you'll spearhead by each other's side. You fantasise over your future kids- the kids you hope will have his eyes and your nose. You yearn for the life you know Eunseok will give you and your heart is finally at peace, knowing it will always be him.
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taesanrot · 19 days
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[love these days] eunseok x f!reader | 3.3k best friends to lovers, implied college au, making out, alc consumption, mutual pining, mls are both a lil dumb, cute n fluffy w a lil smut n angst syn. in which you drunkenly attempt to prove to your friends that you have absolutely no feelings towards your best friend (spoiler alert... you fail) note. storyline is based off of the manhwa these days love special! it's a super cute one shot and a comfort read for me so you guys should check it out. ++ thank u so so much for the support on the teaser, i honestly wrote it on a whim but i'm v proud of this fic so i hope u guys like it as welll <3
you winced at how loud your friends were yelling, sipping on your drink in a weak attempt to calm your nerves. you'd foolishly thought that coming out to drink with your friends would lift up your mood after your terrible week.
you were immediately proven wrong, chaewon and anton's loud arguing was making your head hurt and you just wanted to go home and snuggle into your blanket.
staring at the table top, you lost yourself in your own racing thoughts. you were pulled out of your trance as shotaro nudged you. you looked up at him drearily, and he gave you a sad smile, ruffling your hair.
"what's up? you seem downer than usual." you gave him a weak half smile, opening your mouth to answer his question. you were interrupted by a loud outburst from sohee.
"what do you guys think about guys and girls being best friends? do you think they can stay platonic?" the entire table erupted with noise, everyone drunkenly chiming in to answer his question.
"what on earth are you saying sohee? of course they can!"
"don't you know if you like someone the second you meet them? how can you catch feelings after being friends?"
"kissing my guy friends sounds fucking disgusting, yall stay safe."
you stayed silent, knowing better than to respond -- you already answered sohee's question with your own traitorous heart. you glanced at the table next to yours, eyes landing on the reason you were keeping your mouth shut.
your best friend, song eunseok.
who you were, unfortunately, in love with.
you and eunseok had met in during your college orientation, finding that your personalities clicked quite well as you discussed your respective majors and classes. the rest was history, you two bonded fast, and you quickly became one of his closest friends. it didn't help that the two of you lived in the same apartment complex, meaning that you basically ended up walking home together everyday.
it became a routine, even if the two of you had separate plans you'd meet up somewhere and walk back together
if you were being honest to yourself, you'd been attracted to eunseok from the day you'd met him.
sometimes, you'd think back to the early days of your and eunseok's friendship and wondered how you'd manage to not confess right then and there. chasing the high of the closeness of your friendship had satisfied you somehow.
these days, though, you started to think that you were losing your mind. your feelings for eunseok have only grown stronger as time has passed, and it was becoming increasingly difficult to maintain your usual subtlety.
you felt like you were at your wit's end, ready to confess and be over all of this. and a couple days ago, you had been planning to do just that.
[...]
you reread eunseok's text in confusion, hoping you were walking in the right direction.
you had just gotten out of your last class, and eunseok had texted you to meet him and some other friends on the building's rooftop. you walked around a corner, recognize the back of eunseok's head and his terrible posture.
he was sitting at some picnic tables with two underclassman. just as you were about to wave, you hear one of the other boys speak.
"y/n.... as in kim y/n? you two are pretty close huh, eunseok?" you immediately darting back around the corner, hoping they hadn't seen you yet.
you pulse thrummed under your skin. they were talking about you. you felt your breath hitch as you heard eunseok's tired voice.
"cmon, you know it's not like that, sohee" sohee's loud laugh rang through the air.
"you wish it was though, don't you seokie?" a third voice, hong seunghan, chimed in. you cupped a hand over your mouth to suppress your nervous laughter. you heard eunseok shift in his seat before he spoke the words that would ruin your week.
"y/n.... she's nice and i like her. she's not even close to my type, though."
your face twitched and you clenched your hands into fists, nails digging crescents into your palms. you had to get out of here, and get out of there you did.
turning in the direction you'd come from minutes ago, you disappeared down the stairs, bolting to the comfort of your apartment. you shot eunseok a text later and make up an excuse, saying something came up on the way there. he never questioned it, thankfully.
[...]
remembering it made your shoulders sag, and you sighed for what had to be the 30th time that night, taking another swig from your beer.
of course you of all people would get rejected before you even had the chance to confess. you finally tuned back into the conversation. to your dismay, sungchan had begun to gush over his girlfriend of five years.
"it doesn't matter what i think, i'm already locked in for good." everyone rolled their eyes as he turned his phone around to show you guys pictures of his girlfriend, jiwoo, pictures that everyone had already seen a million times.
"isn't she so cute? i miss her, she's so busy these days."
huffing slightly, you felt your eyes waver over to the table next to yours. to certain brown haired boy, more importantly.
normally, eunseok would be drinking with you and your friends, but he was supposed to be getting to know some of the people in his major department better.
one of the students in question was doe-eyed underclassman sullyoon. your stomach turned uncomfortably as you watched her prettily laugh at eunseok's quips, covering her mouth politely and crinkling her eyes ever so slightly. it was impossible for you to look away as she unabashedly flirted with your best friend; the sight was almost nauseating.
jealousy tore through you, an eerie sadness filling you up from bottom to top. she was just his type, you realized, the epiphany making your mood even worse than it already was. today was the worst.
sullyoon's advances and your completely-not-subtle staring didn't go unnoticed by shotaro either.
"guess she's laid her claim on eunseok, huh?" he joked, nudging your side playfully. you dreadfully gulped down the last of your beer.
"how would i know?" you spoke gloomily, and a frown slowly etched itself onto shotaro's face as he put together the pieces in front of him.
his gaze remained on your dull figure for a moment longer before he suddenly sat up and gasped, grabbing your attention.
"guys, we're forgetting about the closest guy and girl here! aren't you best friends with song eunseok, y/n?" your eyes widen as shotaro's words boom through the bar. after a short pause, your friends went into uproar.
"hey, you're right, taro"
"do you like eunseok, y/n?"
"oh my god do you think they've kissed"
the words coming out of shotaro's mouth reached your ears almost in slow motion. your posture stiffened and you coughed roughly in shock, looking over to make eye contact with an unamused eunseok. his table had fallen into silence as well, everyone listening and waiting for what you had to say.
oh god, does he think i told him to say that? he's gonna think i like him. fuck fuck fuck.
alcohol tainted thoughts ran through your head as you panicked, trying to think of ways to shut down the conversation as quick as possible.
"you guys are crazy. me and eunseok could shower together and i still wouldn't catch feelings" seriously? that was the best you could think of?
berating yourself internally, you tried your hardest to fake nonchalance and act like that blatant lie wasn't tearing you in two. you glanced over at your best friend again, his expression unreadable. there was no going back; you really had to get over eunseok now.
tearing your gaze away from him, you downed the rest of your beer and glared at osaki shotaro's back.
[...]
"it's too earlyyyy we can't go home" chaewon half spoke and half shrieked, arm wrapped around sohee's shoulder.
"let's go to karaoke!" seunghan chirped, his suggestion earning cheers. you and eunseok both stepped away from the group, saying quiet goodbyes and excusing yourselves to walk back home. your friends cheered seeing the two of you walk away together, and you wished a hole would open in the ground and swallow you whole.
"god i feel like shit" you groaned, rubbing your forehead drearily. eunseok chuckled at your frazzled state, tugging the sleeve of your jacket and pulling you closer to him.
you held your breath as he playfully tugged the hood of your zip up over your face, laughing at the way you sputtered curses at him. the two of you bantered like this almost all the way until your place. when the two of your finally fell into a peaceful silence, you spoke.
"sullyoon seemed pretty into you." you craned your neck and tilted your gaze to the dark sky, hoping the boy next to you wouldn't be able to notice the sadness in your eyes. eunseok rolled his eyes at your question and coughed.
"did she, now?" playing dumb, he smirked at the way your gaze whipped to his face, staring at him incredulously. he hadn't helped himself to nearly as many drinks as you, a slight buzz coursing through his veins.
"i mean i found it pretty obvious." this time, eunseok laughed loudly. you really couldn't hold yourself back at all when you were wasted. your eyebrows furrowed and a blush ran across your cheeks at his laughter and response.
usually, you were pretty careful with how much you drank around your best friend, not wanting to unintentionally expose the feelings your fought so hard to hide from him.
unfortunately, past you did not anticipate shotaro's quips or the events of the past few days, the frustration leading you to allow yourself more drinks than usual.
the front door of your apartment complex came into view before eunseok could answer you. looking at your flushed face and droopy eyes, he decided it'd be best for him to help you to your place. the two of you rode in the elevator in silence, opening to your floor. you're face contorted in confusion as eunseok stepped out as well, hand coming to rest on your back as he led you to your unit.
"what're you doing?" you slurred at him. the fresh air had done nothing to sober you up, and eunseok rolled his eyes with a smile.
"making sure you actually make it to your bed." he fished your keys out of your pocket for you and opened the door to your small apartment. slightly tripping over your feet, you walked in and kicked off your shoes.
before you could even think of slumping onto the floor or your kitchen, eunseok grabbed your shoulders and led you to your room, laughing as you swatted his hands and sat on your bed.
you groaned as you leaned back and laid on your bed, exhaustion catching up to you. you brought a hand up to shield your eyes from the dizzying ceiling light. feeling the bed dip slightly next to you, you turned your gaze to eunseok. he was sitting right next to your laying figure, hand coming up to rub your shoulder lightly.
"cmon, you gotta actually get ready for bed." eunseok sighed and shook his head, pinching your neck and earning another groan.
after a painfully long amount of time, eunseok had managed to get you off your bed and into the bathroom. he helped your wipe off your leftover makeup and made sure you took out your contacts and brushed your teeth.
routine complete and pajamas adorned, you stood and stared at your awaiting bed, something stopped your from getting in and slipping underneath the covers.
eunseok turned off the lights in your bathroom and the rest of your apartment before returning to your bedroom with a glass of water.
"here, have some water." after seeing your stilled figure still standing next to the head of the bed, his eyebrows furrowed.
"are you okay?" the boy inquired. he reached his hand out to rest on the small of your back, but you turned and sat down on the bed before he had the chance.
"seokie..." you mumbled softly. eunseok felt his cheeks burn at the nickname the rolled off your drunken tongue. you'd only used it a few times -- almost always when you were intoxicated. eunseok never found it in him to tell you he loved it.
"i lied earlier, i'm sorry." you stared at your socked toes and eunseok's brows furrowed in confusion. lied? what is she talking about?
"about what?" you looked up to meet eunseok's eyes. they bored into you, sending a shiver down your spine as your mouth suddenly dried up. clearing your throat slightly, the secret you had been keeping for so long slipped from your lips.
"i can't shower with you." well, not quite. eunseok chuckled lightly at your serious tone.
"what? why does that matter?" he pried further, chuckling at your pout. you didn't find this situation amusing, all of the memories of eunseok rejecting you flowing back into your mind. letting out a tearful sigh, your face fell into your hands with a loud smack.
"i can't because i already have feelings for you!" eunseok's lazy smile dropped immediately, not only at the fact that you just confessed to him, but also because you were now crying into your hands.
"i like you so much, i'm sorry seokie. sohee was right about me." you sniffled and cried even harder into your hands, not realizing eunseok kneeling in front of you. your crying subsided as eunseok's hands wrapped around yours, pulling them away from your teary face.
"you're seriously something else." your best friend smiled at your teary eyes and red nose. even while crying you looked so adorable to him. you opened your mouth to whine at him but he placed a finger over your lips, continuing.
"i can't shower with you either, y/n" your face crumpled even more.
"because i'm not even close to your type! i already know that, you asshole." it was your turn to stare in confusion as eunseok laughed and shook his head.
"no, don't you get it?" a thick silence hung in the air as you racked your brain for any possible explanation.
because he wants to keep things platonic? no, that can't be it. or maybe ...
no.
does he... like me?
eunseok watched the gears turn in your head, seeing your face fill with realization before you spoke.
"do you l-" eunseok didn't give you a chance to finish your question, moving forward and swiftly capturing your lips in his own.
you made a noise of surprise before shutting your eyes, reaching for his shirt to pull him on top of you. eunseok was gentle as ever with you, laying you down on the bed slowly. hovering over you, he let his tongue run across your bottom lip, coaxing your mouth further open so he could taste more of you.
you sighed out in satisfaction as you felt his warm tongue explore your mouth. you don't know how long you'd been waiting for this moment. running your hands along the blades of his shoulders, you pressed them into his back, hugging him close as if he might disappear.
entangling his legs with yours, breathing the same air as you, eunseok wanted to capture this moment and lock it in his memory forever. he decided instead to let you know how he felt through his lips and hands, easing his fingers through your hair and sucking your bottom lip.
as he pulled away and the two of you watched the string of saliva connecting your lips, you wondered how you managed to bottle up your feelings for the boy above you for as long as you did.
twisting the hem of your shirt, eunseok looked into your eyes with a hooded gaze, drunk off of you.
"can i?"
[...]
opening your eyes slowly, you registered your surroundings. you were snuggled in bed, wrapped in your comforter.
as you mind flashed with the memories of the bar last night, you shot up in bed.
"morning." you screamed at the greeting, turning to see eunseok laying next to you in your bed, scrolling through his phone lazily.
"what are you-" you question was interrupted by a loud noise from the boy's stomach.
"ugh, i'm so hungry, lemme go pee and let's get something to eat, yeah?" eunseok fought to hide his laugh as he watched you scratch the back of neck in confusion.
[...]
you stared at eunseok intensely as he ate his burger and fries like a starved man. you and your best friend were seated in nearby diner. you wished you knew what eunseok was thinking; he hadn't brought up the events of the night before and you were starting to think they didn't even happen. not to mention your memory was pretty foggy following eunseok helping you to your room anyways.
you hoped nothing happened past the two of you making out; you'd really want to remember sleeping with eunseok if you did. looking up at eunseok nonchalantly sipping on his coke, your patience ran out.
"we didn't sleep together, right?" eunseok swallowed his drink slowly, letting your question hang in the air for the moment before answering.
"what do you remember?" he inquired and you exhaled shallowly.
"kissing. and you took off my shirt i think." the boy in front of you smiled. he was secretly very happy you remembered the night before. he'd be a little bothered if he was the only one who remembered your first kiss together.
"yeah, you passed out like right after that." he chuckled, watching your face turn bright red. chewing your bottom lip, you turned your focus back to your food. eunseok smiled softly at you. he thought you were too cute for your own good.
[...]
walking back to your apartment, you turned to eunseok.
"you never told me if you liked me." eunseok stopped in his tracks, turning to look at you in disbeilef.
"the making out wasn't enough of an answer for you?" he laughed as you smacked his arm, hoping no one passing by heard eunseok's crass answer.
"song eunseok!" smiling like you were the only person in the world, eunseok grabbed your hand and laced his fingers with yours.
"y/n, i like you too. will you go out with me?" swinging your arms, he pouted at you, waiting for answer.
"ugh, you're so corny." snatching your hand out of his grasp, you jokingly walked away from the boy, giggling.
"hey! you're the one with a crush on me!" he chased after you, laughing as he wrapped his arms around you and locked you in his grasp. turning in his arms to face him, you met his brown eyes and smiled prettily.
"i'd love to go out with you."
[bonus — the day eunseok "rejected" you]
"y/n.... she's nice and i like her. she's not even close to my type, though."
eunseok's words hung in the air as he searched for the right way to express his thoughts. just hearing your name made his cheeks flush pink. balancing his chin in his hand, he continued.
"somehow though, she seems prettier every time i see her." this earned a loud cheer from the two boys.
"eunseok hyung, you really surprised me." seunghan laughed at the eunseok's dopey smile.
"could you guys please keep it a secret for me?"
...
taglist: @shnnzsworld @beomgyusonlywife @pompompush @forrds @yoursyuno @snowyseungs @dreamiestay @taeraeverse
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119riize · 26 days
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HEARTS BETRAYAL - S. EUNSEOK // M.LIST
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SYNOPSIS .・゜゜・ you and song eunseok are known for being academic rivals, it was no secret. the whole school knew you guys always fought for the number 1 spot, which also led to the public assuming you both hated each others guts. but, did you guys really hate each other?
PAIRING .・゜゜・ eunseok x fem! reader
GENRE .・゜゜・ school au, fluff
TROPE .・゜゜・ academic rivals to lovers
START - END .・゜゜・ 03.31.24 - ongoing
TAGLIST .・゜゜・ feel free to ask!
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CHAPTERS .・゜゜・
01. WILL YOU HELP ME STUDY?
02. KNOWING EACH OTHER
03. HE’S NOT THAT BAD
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100203s · 4 months
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✦ SHOOT UR SHOT! - an eunseok mini au
genre. fluff, crack, bffs to lovers ! ~ pairing bff!eunseok x afab!reader warnings: teasing, mentions of feet?
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chaeTALK: giggles* i love eunseok
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ywnzn · 2 days
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boy next door ᡣ𐭩 wrong gc
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ᡣ𐭩 song eunseok x fem!reader
ᡣ𐭩 synopsis. in which yn keeps texting a random number life updates, that turns out to be the boy next door.
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₊ ⊹ prev | next ⊹ ₊
ᡣ𐭩 notes. posting now bc today might be a busy one 😞
ᡣ𐭩 taglist. [open!] @kyusqult @starwonb1n @teddywook @seunghancore @molensworld @ahnneyong @lecheugo @eternalgyu @rksbae @hakkkuu @wonychu @nakam00t @totheseok @ilovechanhee @strawbaemi @miyawakiblossoms @kgyam4 @sseastar-main @rosesfortaro @dodot04lover @daegale @b-riize @snoopyana @lipsbyive @bludzk1llzyuzu @keilovr @ksywoo @bambisnc @poollabug @rllymark @jinanangel @bunni @drinktaro @wonbinsvlle @lcvehee @snowyseungs @miyawwn
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1-49 · 2 months
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송은석 : Tell the cameraman there’s no good side, they’re both attractive.
❝ your ace, your king, your double diamond. your jack of all trades, your 100 and one shades.
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ᴘᴀʀɪɴɢ: actor! song eunseok × actress f!reader.
ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: romance. on set / gambling undertones as far as the film storyline goes. w.c 5k
two actors fatally ‘meet’ at a ‘casino.’ with the narrative centering round the ‘value of the moment,’ as the story advances, the ‘love on set’ becomes more evident thru the cameras. as the director realizes this early on, all of his retakes serve as both the actors’ main obstacle and unifying force in achieving their individual & character’s goals.
��ᴀɢꜱ: slight mutual pinning (?) both are kinda confused; mixed signals, ofc flirting. makeout :) i had MMA Eunseok on mind while writing this... the gloves and all.
ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀꜱ ɴᴏᴛᴇ: why i feel like everyones on sum Eunseok current rn? as if we re collectively riding that wave? am i not right? am i not!? it’s like homeboy was only getting comfortable up until now. or elsee y are his contents as of lately sooo attacking? idk why, but i feel like this type of situation goes so well w him?
this goes back and forth between the film’s plot and the real* on set setting. hope it’s not confusing
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It feels like you’re wearing your seductive velvet dress just to let him down one more time. The never-ending takes of filming this movie and wearing the same clothes don’t help Eunseok at all; in fact, your attire has made him even more confused and hell crazed.
Drama, slash thriller, slash…
“Romance is for the weak,”
reads one of the script’s lines. Of course, there is nothing romantic about the way he has to portray the charismatic rival who must rob the same kingpin as you. You both need to be like loaded guns to figure out who will outsmart who. Without a doubt, this isn’t a game for the weak of heart.
Side from the fact that long shoots and endless days blur together, his constant presence both on and off set also distorts your perception and wounds your judgment. Though you know for a fact that it’s a waste of your time to catch vibes.
As you’re getting started & Eunseok is an A-list hitter, it is also completely out of the question. Moreover, even now, you find it surprising how you were cast for this role, but that was exactly what spurred you on to continue & demonstrate your abilities.
Though the weeks of filming went smoothly, as you 2 approach ‘a’ scene, tension is mounting.
But, now that you’re here, you’re reshooting and pacing around the same set of scenes, over and over. There is a clear build-up in tension and skin ship as the film goes. The way his hands would sometimes tighten around your waist, it seems like an old game. Practically, it’s the same same daily. 
It’s as if you have been thrown into a loop for a week. Monday through Saturday, which seems excessively intense because you have to look into his big eyes and act unaffected, just like your character. To pretend that you’re razor-sharp when you two touch and to act as though nothing is happening.
The latest take you took was three hours ago, before your lunch. Venue: the casino.
The casino set is unique in that it has distinct widths and depths, & it’s a character unto itself.
You’re shooting at a real place—a candid gambling place with walls painted in every hue imaginable, which is the main ‘bait’ factor. Nevertheless, the place’s real undercurrent is that it has the power to literally tear apart a person. Here, time and space are merely ideas, and much like love, everyone in the plot keeps playing in the hopes of hitting a jackpot. 
On the periphery are the people who have come here to escape reality, vibrant lights, music, drinks, and all things magnetic.
However, the more people indulge in these casino games, the more they immerse themselves in sin. The games have a concentric hierarchy, and the degree of wickedness increases gradually until it reaches the heart of the casino, where the money is kept in bondage and bound with a bloody ribbon.
In essence, the characters you and Eunseok play dance and mingle in the depths of hell.
As you both keep colliding in the games you play, what begins as an individual hunt becomes more focused. It’s the way that your objective in this round is to win jointly by lying. Still, at some point in the round, Eunseok’s character betrays you, but that is currently irrelevant, as you’re currently sitting on his lap.
And doing so, you scan the players in front of you. There are eight of them in total, some of whom have girls sitting on their laps as well. Some kiss, some clink their glasses, and some flirt with the person across. A ton of chips, cards, and cash are spread out across the poker table. 
Your character remains silent, just like Eunseok’s does. Distraction is something that neither of you wants. However, the fact that you’re sitting on his lap makes this already a deranged situation.
Players sling remarks about your character around the table in an attempt to break Eunseok’s character’s nerve.
“When will it be our turn to have our round with her, at last, exactly when?” Gesturing you both, one of the group members says, perched on the edge of the poker table. “Hm? We may need to take some action because you don’t really share your food here. We may need to bring bad luck to attract her.” The actor laughs narratively, but there is seriousness in the corners of his bright eyes that makes it seem like he is really after you, and there is nothing Eunseok can do about that. It is an amazing acting delivery from him.
And while his remarks are only meant to irritate Eunseok’s character, why does it feel like they also irritate the real Eunseok? Because his leg begins to twitch uncontrollably under you.
In order to stop letting his emotions show and to keep his mind to the job in hand, he needs to snap back into character quickly. He remains to cage you in a respectful manner, though, as his arms aren’t in contact with you because they’re both on the table.
So you have no choice but to put up with the sensation of his breath tickling the back of your neck, and the heat that seeps from his thighs and settles into you.
You feel imprisoned in his cage... On this set.
And, you start to appreciate the little things, like the thicker material covering your flesh, since it seems like your skin is getting uncomfortably slippery under your dress. 
Your back is glued to his chest, and his calm demeanor calms you down from the words and deeds of everyone around you—including the real extras from the close-up tables that swarm the set, adding realism to the scene and heightening the atmosphere.
You feel him place his hand on your thigh, something he has never done in previous takes of the scene, but he immediately lifts it. And as he moves his hand, the smooth surface of your dress wrinkles at the drag, making your heart want to leap out of your rib cage.
You lean forward until your elbows rest on the table in an attempt to escape the heat transfer that is becoming too strong between your bodies. More than that, there seems to be an off-energy between you two today that you can’t quite put your finger on. In either case, you’re unable to escape as his hand wraps around your waist and draws you back toward him. Simultaneously, it feels like his cold breath is making love to your throat as it swoops around your neck.
And so, you stay like this… in his arm... until he decides it’s enough, but Eunseok isn’t one to give up easily, so things continue this way. You simply can’t protest because that would ruin the scene.
However, even after going over the same scene several times, it didn’t stick, so the director agreed to let you unwind for the next few hours so that you could focus on the following scene.
And as absurd as it sounds, you might need to expend all of your energy on the next scene. You’ve become tired not just from your long work hours and endlessly repeated dialog lines, but also from being in too much close contact with him. And not to mention that the scene that follows is—
A loud “Action!” comes from somewhere across the room, past the cameras. You’re even deprived of the opportunity to summon all your bravery and take a deep breath. There is nothing you can do about the scene that is already in motion except follow your sync with Eunseok wherever it leads.
This time, the location is a 2nd floor room inside the casino with a glassed view of the floor below where all the ‘magic’ happens. In technical terms, the space you’re in right now is referred to as a ‘control room.’  
Control…..
With just the two yellow-toned lamps—one in the corner and one on the metal desk—the room is completely soundproof and somewhat dim. Additionally, the window glass also only sees out but not in, which promises that all intimacy will be trapped inside and not let out. 
…. If only you were allowed the right amount of privacy, 
but this is a film set, so naturally there are people inside who practically monitor every move you and Eunseok make in great detail.
They… Control…..
His suit jacket, which he had on earlier in the casino, is now draped across the brown leather couch, giving you more intimate time together and expanding his range of motion. And it’s all done purposefully. Everything is a part of the plan, as he’s deliciously in tune with your dress, too. 
His glistening velvet suit with diamond motifs fits the ‘rival notion,’ making him an ideal opponent—a fierce equal match for you. This is also reflected in the movie’s concept, which is to give the impression that this is a ‘pair game’ in which both of you are lying in order to get to the big ‘price.’
And all it takes to get there is for you to hurt each other in the process. There are jokes exchanged, teasing remarks, some lighter, some harsher, some even more vulgar, and swear words are thrown around, but neither of your characters ever lets up their confident façade. For they would be falling behind and losing the game if that were to occur.
As you gaze out the window, Eunseok is leisurely leaning against the desk, moving a silver-foil Ace of Hearts card between his black leather-gloved fingers and watching you. 
The games themselves give an adrenaline rush, and the lavish, spacious hall downstairs draws in gamblers, but the whole point of the script for him is that you’re a thrill sight and his object of desire. For someone made of steel, your whole sense of appeal lies in the fact that you steal his breath. 
The sleek black strapless velvet dress you’re wearing seems to be romanticized by the fake diamonds around the base of your neck. Your smoked eyes and glossed lips are your core points. You don’t long to impress. Your power lies in your strength and independence, but it’s also in elegance, solace, and trance. Another line says, ‘Simplicity is a killer,’ and you certainly are.
However, beneath it all, only you’re aware of how much of a mess you are because he is currently examining you.
... Still, it’s only acting. Eunseok is merely performing in his role as an actor. And, when acting, one can’t really let one’s true self show. As a result, cameras won’t be able to capture how hot you really feel inside or how confused; all you can hope for is that you don’t mess up your next set of lines.
And it’s that scene in the script where everything has built to a climax, and nothing is held back!
When neither of you can decide what brought you together—your shared dislike or your shared goal—and neither of you can explain the bad cues and inexplicable tension.  
Where your personal schemes about who will get the ‘shiny stones’ first are screwed by your shared greed and cynicism. 
When you two almost simultaneously blow up each other’s plans. 
And wherein, in order to make this work for at least one of you, you have selected a room to talk about the remaining options. In this case, the smarter one will really only be the meaner one.
This finally concludes the exchange of hurtful comments; there will be no more!
The door is the most attractive option, and the room is perfectly silent. However, it simply indicates that the first person out has raised the white flag and signed their lost. It’s impossible for either of you to succumb so easily.
Simultaneously, your character is the first to break the dense silence.
“Do you know where we’re going?”
With a rephrased and pointed question, “Where are you going with this?,” you look up at him then, looking a little disappointed and angry at the same time.
Coolly, Eunseok teases, “I’m trying to figure out if I should call it quits.” 
As an actor would, his hair is styled to perfection, and the two hair strands that fall into his eyes and give him a luscious appearance are actually just the result of the tireless efforts of the hair and makeup artists who never stop running after him. 
You find yourself ‘out of set’ for a split second, wondering what he’s like by himself. How he appears when he wakes up in the morning, how his hair looks after taking a shower, and how his body is dressed in a baggy, worn-out shirt rather than rich pajamas. However, that’s rather a ‘faraway’ Eunseok.
But the present, Eunseok, does he read you?
“You’re only saying that. But I won’t take the bait from you.” Your character is merely attempting to remind his of how he deceived you during the previous poker round. “In fact, I wish you saw you from my view. You ain’t all that, you know?”
Eunseok’s cool and calm demeanor remains unshaken. In fact, he just keeps on getting cocky. Given that you’re affecting him in ways he doesn’t understand, it’s in his character's self-defense mechanism as a means of continuing to taunt your character.
“Really,” he responds, crossing his gloved hands. His vest lifts at his tiny waist, and he tilts his head to one side in a seductive manner. The tone of his voice has been pre-calculated; every syllable has been worked on in detail. His precision in looking at you, moving, and facial expressions is unparalleled. 
“See, I’m good for the ego,” his words come across as too sultry, even though he’s the most soft-spoken he has ever been, “but I’m bad for the soul.”
If you two weren’t in front of the cameras, you’d have closed your eyes and allowed his words to give you goosebumps all over your body, but now isn’t the time to do that.
Not that they aren’t doing it already, either...
They’re actually doing that in real time. His voice, his eyes, and his tongue that digs and crawls at the inside of his cheek.
Just a cold-blooded actor. With every take, this terrifyingly skilled individual sends chills down your spine. You almost get the impression that he’s seriously flirting with you because of how excellently he is delivering his role. Nevertheless, the line is exceedingly thin, and the narrative is already in the script. Is it not?
You protest, looking frustrated, saying, “Your games are endless,” yet still simultaneously approaching him more closely to show that you aren’t afraid of him.
Actually, you and him are on the same level. And to add spice to the situation, you say, “However, this time, we both know that you’re going to lose.”
Waving the metallic Ace of Hearts card in your face, his quick silver tongue catches your attention as it runs along his lips. In an attempt to look impressive and put an end to the questions, Eunseok nonchalantly admits, “I like the games I play.” 
Although you must maintain your image and stay in character, all you really want is for all of this to end. You can’t take this and him anymore, like the weeks of filming together have reached a breaking point. You want to scream, ‘Cut!’ to put an end to this suffering, but you can’t fail your dream or let your character down either.
It’s as though you’re developing feelings for someone who isn’t even real. As though you are losing all feeling of reality as you observe him from up close. And because you know what is coming up next, you’re damn sure that Eunseok will take a piece of you with him when the lights go out and the cameras stop rolling, and everything is said and done.
Trouble…
It’s in his perfectly lethal-hued dark eyes. In the way the lamp light hits his eyes that makes him look so enticing, like a glass of whiskey on a thirsty day of never being enough. Intoxicating. Mysterious. Dangerous. A glass of trouble, really, and you’re fastly becoming a growing alcoholic. 
The narrative he tells you hurts as his words continuously fall from his gorgeous lips and seep into your thoughts and emotions like melted wax.
“The truth is, you can’t get enough of me.” Eunseok’s same eye-level with you decreases as he straightens up from the desk and now gazes a little down at you, imposing a slight dominance. He lifts his gloves, causing some veins in his arms to bulge between where the gloves end and his white rolled dress shirt begins. 
Without consent, his gloved fingers begin to crawl upward the inside part of your naked arm, waking goosebumps on their way. The trace is slow and faint, but that is exactly what he wants—for you to disintegrate bit by bit.
“Admit it,” he prompts.
He’s being pretty sadistic and adamant by insisting that you know that he knows how you feel about him; which is precisely the situation, and it leaves you feeling so exposed.
And it’s as if his proximity, presence, and dominance have completely eroded you, your character ‘breaks character’ as it succumbs to his dark charms.
You two are so close that you can understand each other perfectly, even in whispers right now. So you fire back in a private voice, “If I cared more about the truth,” miserable and defeated, “I’d be too aware of who was using who.”
In response, all he does is smirk,
and after making his way to your shoulders, he subtly brushes his thumb along your collarbone. Heat is generated by the tiny friction, and much like a fire match is struck, it ignites sparks in the air.
His hand then moves to brush some hairs away from your face and tuck them behind your ear. The black leather of his glove begins to skim first, then caress your delicate skin and the left side of your face. 
His eyes pierce your soul like a knife, so you look from them to his lips, breaking eye-contact. They lust for touch and have a unique, attractive shape.
“Stop!” You voice out in shock at what he’s doing, but do nothing. His gloved fingertips continue to graze your face. 
“Wonderfull,” he comments silently.
Your brain is fried...
And while in a daze, you notice that his tie is a little loose around his collar.
For some reason, this makes you feel compelled to tighten it, sealing the last bit of separation between the two of you. Eunseok’s brows furrow in concern as he realizes that this isn’t at all included in the script. Although this is blatant improvisation, the performance must continue as long as the director doesn’t yell cut.
You can understand why his free hand, which lends on your waist, is gripping you so tightly and nervously. He kind of breaks his neck shyly smiling away from you before turning back to face you...
Again, something the scene steps don’t cover.
“It was out of pl—” 
‘ace,’ it’s what you attempt to offer as an explanation while the camera is rolling, but you don’t finish saying it... Your mouth stays agape in contrast.
You opened it with an intention, got distracted, and now you hold it open with a fresh thought.
...Him.
Your lip gloss is a mirror of his tiny diamond-studded vest’s sparkle, as are his eyes, which reflect your phoney diamond necklace. 
‘How’d you get so pretty?’ Your mind stutters and your body shudders, yet the line is plain to see as it’s painted on your lips—ready to perform, ready to be spoken. How do you allow yourself to say it, though? 
But for real, when did his lips become this pretty?
It’s challenging to discern which aspect of yourself feels and which acts. There is a messed-up intersection where your character throbs with the need to kiss his character, and you throb with the need to kiss him.
Can he feel it? Are you obvious? Does anyone in the room have the ability to see right through you, as though you’re a transparent bottle filled with all these bottled wicked wants and needs?
Under the necklace, the skin on your neck contracts, relaxes, and contracts once more.
Your lips begin to quiver as the cold leather finally slides beneath your chin. Lifting it, your eyes are drawn back to meet his. You’re painfully aware that it’ll only take a single kiss to weaken a million truths.
“Fuck,” he utters as he begins to brush your lips, causing the leather to become sticky from the shiny gloss. 
Taking back his hand, he starts to rub and then separate his thumb and index finger, examining the degree of stickiness between them. He sighs, “You’re making me want to suggest that we steal those stones together.”
“I’m not stealing any stones with y—”
“I know, I know,” he says, interrupting. “But almost…” 
Eunseok looks directly at you and presses his tacky gloved thumb to his lips.....
The flawless pair of strands that get in the way of his eyes symbolize his seriousness while his tongue begins to pick up and taste any bits of whatever is still on his lips…
The intimacy is revolting, but you aren’t even given a chance to die from all the obscenities he’s doing as he continues.
“You are,” his voice becomes quieter as he speaks, “almost making me want to do it.” 
His lips draw nearer. His breath is what you inhale.
“Almo—” 
As soon as his lips touch yours, the rest of the sentence disappears. Just as your glittery, dark eyeshadow is captured in perfect detail on camera, his splattered letters perfectly entangle in your mouth.
Unsurprisingly, he gives you a desperate kiss with hands that dig into your waist.
The greatest corruption imaginable is a kiss that says, “If you aren’t mine, then I’m making you mine!” A kiss that puts your life and breath in danger. A kiss that tears through the façade and the acting mask, growing ever more dangerously real. 
What’s worse is that having spent so much time with him, it’s so evident when he’s unable to pretend. And currently, he surely cannot! 
He cannot act as though his lips aren’t needy or that his skin isn’t becoming hotter. Or that when he pulls your body more into his and presses his tongue deeper inside your mouth, his body isn’t trembling just a little bit.
Your hands slip off his shoulders and latch onto this vest, tugging on it just a little bit, even hanging on to it desperately for the life he’s stealing from you. 
His heart is pounding beneath your hand, which is hard to comprehend considering that an actor with his level of training shouldn’t even flinch when filming a kissing scene. More so than anyone else, Eunseok exudes an air of magnetism despite being largely composed of steel. The fact that you’re seeing him partially fall apart for the first time is mind-boggling. 
It’s truly insane what only a kiss can reveal. And of anything, it isn’t fast. For this is something that you should feel, just as the audience should when it’s their turn. 
You whine his character’s name in between kisses, only slightly conscious that you’re still in the heat of filming this scene. However, he just hushes you, nuzzles your nose gently against his, and continues. His low, pretty pants and foul moans layer at your throat, just as yours in his.
Given how far out of script you two are at this point, you’re certain the director has had enough by now and will call it quits at any moment, but that never happens.
It’s gross how much of Eunseok’s tongue encircles yours while his cute nose wrinkles and brushes against yours. It all makes you want him even more. For the worst part, he smiles through it. It’s quite vile since he knows exactly what he’s doing.
You can feel his lips burn from the constant, wild collisions. And his scent seeps into your nostrils. That much is certain: it’ll be difficult to forget this—to forget him.
“Do you—Do you?” he stammers, pressing his lips to yours as he breathes heavily and squeezes your waist so forcefully that you fear his hands will split you in two. 
Since it’s an entirely improvised line, he eventually comes up with the right combination of words. “Have you indulged in this fantasy before? Have you—Have you ever thought about kissing me?” 
Even though Eunseok’s words are already weighing heavily on your heart and lips, he adds even more bitterness by saying, “You definitely have.” He answers his own question by not even giving you an opportunity to respond.
But then, is it untrue? 
Of course not, as you feel the weakness in your knees. You find it somewhat unfair that he has granted himself a space where he’s fusing reality and fiction.
You fight, “It’s—” while making an effort to escape and resist his lips, “It’s just this time,” but it’s mediocre at best.
As you step back away from him, his hands hopelessly slip off your waist and slide back to his side. They appear empty-looking, as though they don’t own anything of value, like something was snatched from their possession.
Now, empty handed, Eunseok is back gripping the metal of the desk. It isn’t like it’s just you who is feeling the effects of those frenzied kisses; he has definitely lost his breath too. His lips are pretty roused and ‘used-looking’, much like after an intense makeout, while the tips of his ears throb as they peek out from under his dark hair.
He somewhat manages to come up with another line even though his fairly strong defensive system is down.
“Then perhaps it’s just been my imagination all those times I thought I felt you thinking about me.”
Your mouth drops open at the same time as the director cries out,
“CUT! Beautiful! Beautiful!” He waves his hands in all directions proudly. “That take was spot-on perfect; we’re done here. I got everything I want here”, he says, tapping the big camera that some other guy is holding, and also exclaiming, “One take. It only took one take!” with excitement. “Excellent improvisation! Reshooting would only sour the spark.” He then successfully clasps his hands and says, “That’s a wrap, everyone!”
You’re left standing in front of Eunseok, glassy-eyed, quite sensitive, and shocked, but optimistic that what the two of you just did is still partially justified by your acting profession.
It looks like he’s blinking more than normal; and blinking is undoubtedly one of the patterns Eunseok exhibits when he’s nervous, which you’ve noticed throughout the months that you’ve been working with him. He also seems to be in denial, with confused lines painted on his temple.
Both him and you stay motionless while looking at each other as the director talks about the scene with a different staff member, his voice only sounding faint and far away in your ear.
“I like a good chase in a scene. To me, that’s everything. The actors must have a compelling chemistry and be aware of their roles. They must have trust in each other and their actions, because making a film is similar to a construction site, it must be built. It’s more than a camera, lights, and action.” Taking off his baseball cap, he gives himself a head stretch. “Trust me… what these two have is lethal.”
The longer the director keeps making observations, the more of the ‘real’ Eunseok is in your presence. Adorable, nervous smiles, head turns, and motions; knitted brows that enlarge his eyes even more. It’s as if he has softened his human side, opened his heart, and ‘thrown his metallic armour away.’
Finally, after hearing the comments, he sort of hisses with a ‘Really?’ while tilting his head to the side and putting on a cute, sarcastic look of suspicion.
“Are you okay?” You ask him in a gentle tone, concerned because it appears he’s thinking through and repeating every step of the scene.
He nods, but his face still wears that expression of shock mixed with denial, and a slight, but still noticeable, shy spark in the far back of his ever so silver persona. It seems like he’s coming to terms with everything that just happened, and he’s still quite riding out the wave.
Now that he has had a taste of how you kiss, it’s quite impeccable how you can bite down like an enemy and later be tender to all of those marks like a friend. 
You’re high-key giving him so much more to think about—so many more thoughts to deal with than what the sight of you in your dress had already done for him up to this point.
‘Romance’ slash ‘No Control’ slash ‘Trouble!’
So many twists and turns until the conclusion, but the scene is now over. 
The drama is done. The ‘acting’? 
Done! 
You’ll be taking off your makeup and dressing down, but the characters you just played will still exist within the both of you. That despite the fact that it seems like you two will be avoiding dealing with this for the time being, you’re both actors, and currently, the cost of your acting is your sanity. 
Starting today, heartthrob actor Eunseok won’t only continue to cause headaches to the millions of girlies who have his posters hung above their beds, but to you as well.
‘.....Nice.’
© 𝟭-𝟰𝟵. do not copy, translate, repost, and modify my works.
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00127am · 3 months
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"i just can't get you out of my head," "... nice,"
@ pawpossitesattract you're not one hundred percent sure where your cat runs off too during odd hours of the day, but you can't exactly complain when she comes back bearing gifts-- sets of silver, hooped earrings that are just your style. it's just too bad that this leads to your upstairs neighbor banging on your door, cat in tow and ears looking particularly empty.
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@ information [🐈] upstairs neighbor! song eunseok & afab! reader genre fluff, comedy, uni au, strangers to lovers, crush at first sight, opposites attract, mutual pining, dog owner seok & cat owner yn, idiots in love warnings cursing status wip! ⤷ taglist always open!
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@ masterlist @ ♡♡♡♡ @ soundtrack
follow others like this! playlists. yn ⪩ ⪨ seok
user pawpossitesattract's posts i. cat burglary! ii. coming soon!
🧾 © 00127am 2024
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bambisnc · 1 month
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cozily mundane nights with bf!eunseok where you're settled over his lap, his chin resting on your shoulder and hands on your waist. on a laptop in front of you an anime plays; its vibrant graphics being the only source of the light in the room.
both pairs of eyes drooping with a certain heaviness but neither of you are able to find respite in the arms of sleep - and maybe neither of you minds that one bit. not when the comfort of the others' touch and the tranquility of the night provides a much more alluring means of intoxication.
throwing your head back when the characters do something particularly funny; notes of laughter ring out in the otherwise still night and eunseok swears no other sound, no other moment could make him more euphoric. he can't help but match your laughs with his own.
you know you both have things to get to and obviously an all nighter will not prove to be at all helpful if spent like this,.. but maybe that doesn't matter.
maybe the only thing that matters for now is that you're both with each other. maybe the only thing that matters is how the dark night fades ever so slowly into an orangey haze, filtering in through the windows and lighting your blissful (albeit sleep deprived) faces aglow.
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notes : mwah imma queue this/maybe somethign else bc im gonna be frfr gone till march middle-ish now </3 + [m.list] song rec : fairy of shampoo ,, but yk lowkey she's so gone again..
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jjhyn · 2 months
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“pink carnations”
pairing: riize song eunseok x reader “y/n”
genre: strangers to lovers
plot: every year, for the last 4 years, you’ve always visited your mom’s grave, each year it gets harder and harder. this year, you weren’t able to visit your mom’s grave on her death anniversary, but when you visit the day after you see a bouquet of flowers that you didn’t bring. 
warning: aside from mentions of death, i don’t think so but please let me know if there are
notes: obsessed with riize TT so i’m going to be writing a couple of riize au/fics and uploading them - italics are dialogue but they will also be in quotations i just like to differentiate them from regular text sometimes lol also slight sungchan mention - also this isn't proofread lol
word count: 3902
thursday
“hey, are you going to visit mom today?” your older sister asks you through the phone. you ponder for a moment before responding. “i don’t think so. i’ve got that deadline at work that i need to finish but i’ll probably visit her later tonight or tomorrow.” you respond, a small amount of guilt hitting your chest for the lie. truth is, your mother’s passing has only gotten harder on you the last few years. you’ve lived out your dreams but what was it worth when your mom wasn’t there to see you reach your successes? or even say she was proud of you… 
“you know…” your sister breaks you out of deep thought, “you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. i know ever since mom died you’ve kinda thrown yourself into your work and it’s nice to see it pay off but you need to find happiness again. i know it’s easier said than done but…” your sister stops her sentence there. you think about what she just said, almost as if she knew you were lying about your work situation and that she read you like a book. “we’ll grab dinner this weekend okay? i haven’t seen you in a while and i’m not taking a no; its the weekend i don’t wanna hear and work bullshit.” and the line cuts off. you sit at your dining table for a moment, looking out the window and taking in what your sister said when your phone gets a notification. 
5 Years - Mom’s Anniversary March 14 2024
you forgot that you had set a yearly reminder onto your phone, you swiftly swipe away the notification. it felt a little stupid to have that reminder, only because how could you ever forget when your mom’s death anniversary was? you only kept the reminders because in some way it made you feel more accountable, but this year you weren’t going to visit her. you would eventually, probably tomorrow, but not today; you had too much on your mind and you’d probably break down more than the last few years if you went to go see your mom. 
thursday evening
you had finished work early today, which was almost never but you knew today would be somewhat easy going as you just closed out a deal the day before leaving the rest of the week with almost no work to be done. “wanna grab a drink with us after work?” your coworker sungchan from IT asks you, his head popping into your office. he was cute but a relationship wasn’t something you needed right now. you softly smile at him, “not tonight, you guys have fun.” you politely decline and he dramatically acts like you just stabbed him in the heart, clutching the left side of his chest and letting out a fake painful groan. the two of you share a laugh as he slowly enters your office and stands next to your desk. he leans over and softly places his hand over yours, “i know today is hard for you, but just know i’m here for you if you need anything.” sungchan says looking deeply into your eyes. a warm feeling makes its way across your face and before the tears start to pool at your eyes you take your hand back and just smile and nod. sungchan takes this as a sign you’d like to be left alone so he does just that, exiting your office but not before he takes one last look at you, to which he sees you’re now chewing on your bottom lip and looking out the window. 
it was around 7:30pm when you left the office. you could’ve gotten home a lot earlier before the sun had set but you made yourself busy at work. finding anything to do just to avoid having to go home. your drive home didn’t feel real, almost as if you were in limbo, for a while it felt like you weren’t moving on the road but everything else was moving around you. it wasn’t until you turned onto your neighborhood did you snap out of this weird feeling. you had no thoughts in your head but upon entering your home you instinctively went to your kitchen to grab a glass of wine and made your way into your bedroom. changing out of your work clothes and into pajamas, you climbed out onto your roof. something you really enjoyed about your home, a balcony that led to the roof with a ladder. whenever you were up there it felt like nothing else in the world existed. like you were on top of the highest mountain, the only person for miles, and it was just you, the sky, and the never ending thoughts of perrill as you finish your glass of wine. 
*beep* 9:56am *beep* friday morning *beep*
you're awoken by your alarm and the cold air pinching your cheeks. you had accidentally fallen asleep on your roof. your lips were chapped and hair frizzy from all of the morning wind. thankfully it didn’t rain. you grab your phone to turn off your alarm when you realize the time, your’re almost 2 hours late to work, getting ready now would only make you even more late. you quickly dial sungchans work phone but he doesn’t answer so you try his cell but nothing either. you leave him a voice, asking him to cover for you in case something at work comes up. even though you’re in different departments, he’s always had your back; the two of you were in the same group of new hires when you both joined the company. 
you made your way inside, getting out of the cold and plopping down onto your bed. you let out a groan as you do a full body stretch, regretting falling asleep on the roof as your back slightly aches but now grateful for the comfort of your mattress. you get a text, assuming it’s from sungchan to which it was, “don’t worry, got you! *winky face*” you smile, mentally thanking him when you get another text. “oh… was that winky face weird..? sorry!” he says with 3 wide smile face emojis. you can’t help but laugh and find his actions cute. you text him a thank you and saying you owe him one to which he says you’ll have to grab drinks with him sometime. 
it’s almost noon when you finally decide to get out of bed to get ready to visit your mom’s grave. every year it not only got a lot harder on you without having your mom but going to see her grave got harder because it was just a constant reminder of how close she was but so far away at the same time. 
2:28pm friday
you’re driving to the cemetery, trying to compose yourself; getting ready to leave wasn’t so hard but the closer you got to leaving the house and getting into your car made your anxiety rise. you’re not necessarily an anxious person, but right now everything seems to be causing you to panic. you sat in your for half an hour, catching your breath, before you could even start the car. you’re driving with the windows down, needing the extra air to breathe as it feels like the air in your lungs are being funneled out of your body the closer you get to your destination. 
when you see the familiar stone fixture at the front of the cemetery you let out a huge breath. almost as if you had been holding your breath the whole drive there. you quickly find parking when you realize you didn’t bring flowers or anything to offer your mother. you shut your eyes and almost fall to your knees. a ringing in your ears causes you to wince, making you regret coming all the way here. you question whether to just leave and quickly grab flowers, or stay, or just leave altogether and maybe come back during the weekend with your sister. 
a sudden burst of wind envelopes you, almost like a hug. taking it as a sign from the earth to stay, you release one more deep breath before making your way to your mother’s grave. as you pass the other tombstones, adorned with candles and colorful flowers, you almost want to turn around and just run back to your car but something keeps telling you that you shouldn’t and before you know it you’re standing over your mother’s grave. 
a bouquet of pink carnations rests to the left of her tombstone, adjacent to the bouquet your sister brought during her birthday at the beginning of the year. “i wonder why she got pink carnations this time?” you think to yourself, questioning your sister’s decision of flower choice. you spend the next few hours just sitting there, catching up with your mom, telling her the new stuff in your life, mentioning sungchan but only briefly because you know her response to any boy in your life would be to automatically bring him to meet her so she can feed and investigate him. 
your phone rings so you reach for it inside your bag. pulling it out to see that it was your sister, you quickly answer. “hey, what are you up to?” she asks after you answer. “i’m actually at mom’s grave right now. probably going to head home soon i’ve been here for like 3 hours now.” you respond, as you pick yourself up from the ground and dusting off the dirt from your clothes. “that’s nice, i’m glad you got to visit her.” she says, “yeah, i’m glad i did too. hey why’d you choose pink carnations this time?” you ask her. theres a slight pause before your sister responds. “pink carnations?” she says like she has no idea what you’re talking about. “yeah, the bouquet you left at mom’s grave? don’t we usually bring her roses or sunflowers?” you explain. “i wasn’t able to visit her yesterday, that’s why i called you; i was going to ask if you wanted to go together today.” you make a confused face, now unsure who the bouquet is from. 
you bend over to pick up the flowers, “someone probably left it on accident or maybe it was one of my mom’s friends. you know she was popular at the market we used to go to as kids.” your sister explains but you remain silent, observing the flowers. “look, let’s catch up this weekend, maybe saturday?” and you just respond with a short “mhmm” before ending the call. 
with the bouquet in hand, you turn around when a voice startles you. “they’re for remembrance.” a boy says behind you as you slightly jump from the sudden voice. “sorry…” he shyly chuckles, “didn’t mean to scare you.” you’re looking at him, blinking rapidly. “remembrance?” you ask. “yeah…” he walks closer and grabs the flowers from your hands and places it back where they were when you had arrived. “pink carnations are for remembrance. they’re also a symbol for gratitude and heartache for someone you love” he explains. you’re now staring at his back as he places the flowers down, he turns around and you’ve come to your senses when you realize you’re staring. 
“sorry this is probably weird. uhhh. i’m eunseok” he extends his hand to shake yours. you shake his hand, “y/n” you tell him as you shake hands. “nice to meet you” eunseok smiles and you feel your heart beat faster. “were you the one that left these?” you ask him, pointing at the carnations. “uh, yeah i did. hope that’s okay, i noticed no one stopped by yesterday so i thought i’d leave some flowers.” he tells you while wiping his hands on his pants. “wait, what do you mean? why would you leave flowers for my mom?” you question him, unable to read if you were getting a red or green flag from the random boy. “i see you every year, my mom’s grave is just that way.” he points to a tombstone a few feet away. “i always see you whenever you bring your mom flowers, i spend the whole day at my mom’s grave on her anniversary and when i didn’t see you yesterday i thought i’d leave some for her so she didn’t feel forgotten.” this boy, who you didn’t even know, remembered to bring your mother flowers on her death anniversary when it was so hard for you. 
it made you think about how the hardships you were facing were all in your head. that the turmoil of facing the truth that your mother’s passing is real and was something you were eventually going to have to come to terms with. you realized you needed to get out of your head and that your mother passing wasn’t the thing stopping you from finding happiness, it was yourself. a stranger’s kindness felt like the comfort you’d feel from your mother’s embrace after a long day. 
“i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to upset you.” eunseok says in a panicked voice. you realize that you’re crying and he offers you a small towel. you wipe your tears with your hands and eunseok retracts his hand with the towel and places it into his pocket. “no, i’m not upset. that’s very kind of you eunseok. sorry i don’t know why i’m crying.” you explain trying to stop the tears. “that’s okay.” he smiles. “sometimes we just need to cry. it may not seem like it but i spent most of yesterday crying, i’m kind of glad you weren’t here so you didn’t see me crying” he chuckles and his small joke also makes you laugh. 
“it was nice meeting you, i should head out it’s getting late.” you say and his smile forms into a straight line. “yeah, i was just heading out too when i saw you and overheard your conversation.” the two of you begin to walk together to the parking lot. “how come you came back today?” you ask him. wondering if yesterday was his mom’s death anniversary like yours; why did he come back today. “i’m not sure. i just felt like it, like something in the air was telling me i should go see her.” he says with a shrug and it makes you think about how upon arriving here the air seemed to comfort you and let you know you were in the right place. 
the two of you arrive at your cars, which coincidentally, are parked next to each other. you enter your car with a big sigh as you lean your head back onto your headrest. as you’re about to start your car you notice something from the corner of your eye, making you turn your head. you see eunseok somewhat leaning outside of his car, waving his hands; trying to get your attention. you roll your windows down, your heart beating faster, like it was going to explode. “your tail light is out by the way.” eunseok says and you briefly look to the back as if you would see it. you smile softly at him and thank him before he retreats back into his car. 
you back out of your parking spot, almost wishing he had asked you out. sure he was just a stranger but his kindness alone was enough to make you swoon. let alone his kindness to your mom, he was also attractive. as you’re exiting the parking lot, you think about all the times your mom asks you if you have a boyfriend or when are you going to get a boyfriend, only for you to respond with a groan or rolling your eyes at her. maybe this was a sign from your mom, bringing eunseok and his kindness through pink carnations to your mom’s grave. your mom truly bringing him to you. 
you’ve been stopped at the exit of the parking lot for a few minutes now when you realize eunseok has just been behind you, probably growing tired and confused waiting behind you. you close your eyes and let out a breath before putting the car in park and exiting. you walk towards eunseok’s car and see that he’s rolling the window down. “do you wanna go out sometime?” you ask him as you look into his eyes. you could almost see the sunset in his eyes the way they reflected light. “as a thank you… for the flowers you left my mom.” and to what seemed like eternity waiting for a response from eunseok, you felt disheartened. maybe you thought too much into it. what were you even thinking taking this as a sign that you may have found love. before you turn around and walk away, eunseok stutter’s out a response. saying sure, prompting the two of you to exchange phones to add each other’s contacts.
you grab your phone from eunseok and return his phone. after you’ve entered your car again and exited the parking lot you let out a squeal. just like you would when you were younger whenever you’d tell your mom about the boy you had a crush on in middle school and how he looked so cute during lunch time. 
eunseok
eunseok sighs and slightly hits his head, “idiot! why didn’t you ask her out?” he says. when he’s getting ready to leave he notices you’ve already driven off and are about to exit the parking lot, he pulls up behind you, waiting for you to make your turn onto the road. thinking about how he’s going to have to wait a whole nother year before being able to see you again. his little crush he’s developed over the years while visiting his mom.
eunseok realizes he’s been waiting for a while behind your car when he stops thinking about regretting not asking you out. he sees you put your car in park and he watches you exit the car and make your way to his window to which he rolls down. 
“do you wanna go out sometime?” you ask as eunseok pops his head out his car through the window. “as a thank you… for the flowers you left my mom.” you explain further. eunseok is shocked you just asked him that he’s a bit speechless. the silence is so deafening you take it as a no, but before you walk away he stutters out. “s- sure.” you hand him your phone and so does he, adding one another into each other’s phones. you make your way back to your and exit the parking lot. once you’ve left eunseok can’t stop smiling, cheeks flush; almost as pink as the carnations. he even double checks his phone to make sure you really did put in your number, you even texted yourself through his phone. 
next year
“ready?” eunseok asks. it’s been a whole year since you met eunseok. the day after both of your mother’s death anniversary. your relationship has grown a lot within that one year. growing closer each day, getting to know one another, and eventually dating. he’s parked outside of your job, standing next to his car. 
today marks another year, the day of both your mother’s death anniversaries. he’s come to pick you up after work so the two of you can visit your mothers. you walk out the office building towards him with a smile and nod. he extends his hand out to you and you grab; the two of you quickly share a kiss. you enter the car and he closes the door behind you and makes his way to the driver’s seat. before he drives off you groan, “what’s wrong?” he asks placing his hand over yours and slightly rubbing it. “i forgot to grab the flowers, i’ve been so busy with work and-” you start to ramble, feeling your anxiety start to build in your chest. “hey… everything is okay. i’ve got it” he says. soothing your nerves. you look at him endearingly and he shares a smile. 
he reaches in the back seat and presents you with a bouquet of flowers, specifically pink carnations. “you got them?” you ask. “of course, i’d never forget.” he responds. your heart was now beating a lot faster, not because you were anxious or that you were beginning to feel like the world was crumbling beneath you; but because eunseok has started to make you feel happy. replacing your anxiety with joy and allowing you to grow out of your habits of suffering alone. that we would gladly suffer with you if it meant at the end, there was no pain but just love. 
the two of you arrive at the cemetery, deciding to visit your mom first since eunseok’s mom was a bit further down; you’d visit her after. you introduce eunseok to your mom and vice versa. tell her about the year you’ve had and how happy and grateful you are to have eunseok in your life. he holds you tight, an arm around your shoulder; slightly rubbing your arm to further your soothe and provide comfort. 
you pull out some photos from your bag, childhood photos you wanted to share with eunseok and your mom. a few of you and your sister during your birthdays, photos of you beginning the first day of school, but one in particular caught eunseok’s eye. a photo of you and your mom at han river, she's bent down to your small height helping you blow bubbles. it wasn’t the image of you and your mom that caught his eye but something in the back of the photo. a mother is holding her small son up on her shoulders. she’s wearing a bright yellow sundress while the son is fitted into a red shirt and denim blue shorts with a cap that has a propeller on top. 
“wait…” eunseok says causing you to pause your trip down memory lane of childhood photos. “everything okay?” you ask him as you turn your head to face eunseok. he brings his arm from around your shoulder to grab something from his bag. he takes out a small tin box, one an assortment of cookies used to reside in. “cookies? eunseok are you hungry?” you ask him with a slight chuckle. “no… look.” he says after opening the tin box and flipping through some photos. he hands you a photo, one that looks familiar but you can’t tell why. the photo is of eunseok as a baby, sitting on top of his mom’s shoulders. “aww, you’re so cute! look at your little hat.” you say pinching his cheek. “nooo, not that. look at this.” he grabs the photo of you and your mom blowing bubbles and puts them next to each other. there you realize that in the back of your photo with your mother at han river, there was a boy with his mother as well; and in the back of eunseoks photo with his mom, stood a mother bent over to help her daughter blow bubbles. 
the two of you make eye contact, realizing that at this moment. you’re both sat at the cemetery your mother’s are buried in together, in which another instance in both your lives, where the two of you alongside your mother’s were near at hand. sharing the memory of a joyful time with not only your mother’s but now with one another. 
copyright 2024 - present © jjhyn all rights reserved
all writing here is fiction & not in any association with characters mentioned.
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euseokz · 2 months
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@ eunseok — the forbidden fruit is always better, right ? the only rule is that you have to keep it a secret when you do get a taste of it ;) . cws : semi-public sex (car sex) . unprotected sex . fingering . degradation . use of nicknames (slut) . choking . wc : 1.5k+ . genre : smut - [pt.2]
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OLDER BROTHER’S BEST FRIEND! EUNSEOK who has always been just so interesting to you.
he had always come off as so serious, so unbothered, it made you wonder what you’d have to do to rile him up. obviously you never got close enough to actually try it, sungchan somehow always making sure his little sister never got too intimate with his best friend, oblivious to the fact that him doing that only made you ever so more inclined to want to get to know eunseok better.
it was wrong, and it wasn’t that you didn’t know it, you simply didn’t care enough, because what would sungchan do if he found out, give you a scolding? look at you a bit differently? who cared, it wasn’t like you did at least, so as soon as you got the chance to finally get alone with eunseok, you jumped on it.
sungchan and eunseok had been locked upstairs in your brother’s room all day doing god knows what, all while you sat on the living room couch, eyes constantly drifting towards the stairs or the kitchen, hoping to catch a glimpse of eunseok. you never did, at least not for a while, until you heard footsteps down the stairs, immediately getting up to check, seeing eunseok get his shoes back on by your front door, seemingly ready to leave — so you did what any normal person would do and asked him if that was what he was doing, which was innocent enough you assumed. he denied, saying that he was actually just gonna run out to buy some snacks and come back, so as if you had suddenly been hit with a new found purpose, you asked if you could tag along, also needing to buy some… stuff, and because eunseok wasn’t dumb and he knew the way you looked at him, he agreed, curious as to what your real intentions were — which, all things combined, was what led you to be in his car minutes later, the vehicle parked in a remote parking lot near the grocery store you had supposedly been headed to, while you sat on his lap, with him still on the driver’s seat and your lips pressed against his in a fervent kiss.
it was desperate, more desperate than you expected it to be at least, because you had never even assumed eunseok would be able to retribute your affection. he did though, kissing you just as eagerly, his hands roaming under your shirt and touching against your bare skin, wanting to feel you close to him, pressing you down against his crotch, all so you could feel his growing erection, making you moan softly into his lips. the realization that eunseok might have wanted you just like you wanted him hit you hard, so you got impatient, pulling at his clothes, desperate to get rid of them, eliciting him to separate the kiss and chuckle, reminding you that you were still in public, and that there wasn’t much more you could do.
“no one’s around” you whined, fingers still wrapped in the material of his shirt “if we’re quick no one will know” and how could eunseok say no to that? he did a fast job of unbuttoning his pants and pulling his hardening cock out, being grateful that you didn’t change outfits when you went out and still wore the comfy shorts you had on back home, that making the job of him pushing the soft material to the side to press two fingers up your pussy much easier. eunseok rubbed circles over your clit while stroking his cock, eventually bringing them up and tapping their pads against your bottom lip so you could suck on them, leaving them wet for him to finally push them both into your hole, stretching you out with small, slow thrusts, his eyes fixated on yours, wanting to see the way your expression changed, needing to see the moment your eyes turned glossy with arousal.
eunseok kept going, eventually picking up his pace and starting to bend his fingers to press against that spongy spot inside you. it felt so good, you couldn't help but whine displeased when he pulled out, giving him a pouty look mixed with furrowed brows — which only made him laugh again, telling you to be patient, finally starting to press the tip of his dick against your clit, and then your entrance.
he started lowering you down on him at a languid pace, taking his time until he had finally bottomed out. you both let out a satisfied sigh when eunseok was finally pressed all the way into your pussy, feeling how his dick twitched ever so slightly against your wavering walls, both of you taking a moment to get used to it before starting to move. you planted your hands on his shoulders, your fingers digging into his flesh through his shirt as you looked for some sort of support, flexing your thighs and going up and down, eunseok doing his best to move his hips and match your movements, going up and as you went down and vice versa. it felt so good, the way his cock dragged in and out of you at just the perfect angle, pressing into the right spots inside you, and making you moan eunseok’s name, asking for more shamelessly.
“aren’t you ashamed? acting like a little slut for your brother’s best friend… i wonder what he’d think of you if he knew you were riding my dick right now” he hissed, his tone low, teasing, his eyes fixated on yours, and when you tried to look away mid-sentence, feeling your cheeks heat up at his remarks, eunseok wrapped one hand around your neck, his touch light enough to not hurt but hard enough to slightly cut off your airway, forcing you to stay focused on him.
“i can keep a secret, but can you? dumb little sluts usually can’t keep their mouths shut for too long” he kept going, his free hand gripping your hips and moving you faster against him, your moans growing in volume and your eyes rolling back in pleasure — both because of the absolute filth he was spewing, but also because everything just felt too good.
you could feel your orgasm start to build, the way eunseok forced you down harder on his dick was too intense, and the fact that he kept his hand wrapped around your throat didn’t help in the slightest in making you feel any less lightheaded. when you finally reached your orgasm you screamed louder than you ever had before during sex, so loud eunseok had to let go of your hip and cover your mouth, still choking you and still continuing to fuck you, grinning pleased as he watched you still continue to fuck yourself in his cock even as you struggled, starting to lose your pace as you leveled down again, his movements also coming to a halt.
“so, can you keep a secret or not?” he asked, and you, in your dazed state, simply nodded, watching as he readjusted your shorts just to then pull them down by the front, revealing the inside bit of your panties for him, your pussy sticking to the material with thick strings of your arousal. while one of eunseok’s hand held your bottoms down, the other wrapped around his dick that was still incredibly hard, bulging veins drawing up it’s sides and fat beads of pre sticking to his flushed tip. he started to stroke himself, moving fast, obviously only focused on seeking his own release until he was finally cumming, spilling his seed onto the material of your panties, letting out low groans as he watched himself dirty the fabric even more with his milky cum, watching as it mixed with your arousal when he pressed his tip against your folds, leaving a complete mess on your underwear.
“you better be able to, or sungchan will fuck both of us up” he said through heavy breaths, keeping his promise and going back to your house as if nothing happened, walking in and immediately going into the kitchen to have a normal conversation with your older brother, truly as if he had nothing to hide, as if he hadn’t just fucked you in his car minutes prior. he handed sungchan the snacks like he normally would, nothing about his behaviour suspicious, all while you were still dumb with arousal. your eyes were still glossy and your movements were a bit languid as you plopped down on the couch with a pleased sigh and turned on the tv, even if your brain was miles away from whatever you were supposedly watching — the way your panties were beyond soaked and completely sticking to your pussy a friendly reminder of eunseok’s last words to you before you went into the house, his voice no louder than a whisper when he said “if you can keep it to yourself, i might pay a visit to your bedroom tonight”
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chiiyuuvv · 5 months
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wc; 974
Thinking about classmate!eunseok, who you aren't necessarily friends with, but was someone that was always friendly. You decided to sit next to each other in your college course, agreeing to help the other out.
But recently eunseoks been really tired, stay up late since a new game just dropped last week, and hes been at it with seunghan ever since. The professor's droning voice along with the slightly chilly room sends him in a daze, his eyes getting heavier and heavier until they finally shut, his head leaning until they hit your shoulder.
You were a little shocked at first, having to erase your now messed up letters as you look over at him with a chuckle. Struggling to get your jacket, you place it over his sleeping figure, then continue taking notes.
You didnt mind the first time, or the second time, or the third time.. until it became a habit. Eunseok would come to class saying how he wasnt going to fall asleep but 10 minutes in and hes tapped out, his chair closer to yours so he can rest comfortably against you, his soft hair rubbing against your neck and his pink lips parted that it sends a ping to your heart. But you look away; you didnt want to invade his privacy (even if he was laying on you) and you had to take notes for you to study, and so you could teach eunseok.
It happens so much to the point that random students approach your small corner by the window daily, asking you and a sleeping eunseok if you were together, but you always shook your head no with a laugh.
Maybe this was something reserved for boyfriends and girlfriends? You hadnt put much thought into it, just thinking of doing a favor for a friend.
There's was one day when eunseok was half asleep, his eyes closed and snoring, when another student pops up to ask the same question. He couldnt pick up everything, but he could faintly hear the 'youre so cute together!! Are you dating??' and it wakes him up faster than his alarm. His eyes doesnt shoot open though, and he doesnt sit up as he was too comfortable, so he gets a bold idea.
His crossed arms begin to unravel and wrap around your waist, now side hugging you as it gets your attention quickly, causing your sentence of telling the girls no to halt, your head snapping at his direction.
Youre not too sure what came over yourself as your hand comes up to lightly ruffle his fluffy hair, tucking some of it behind his ear. The girls coo before realiizing their interrupting something, running back to their seats to watch the drama unfold. Eunseoks eyes finally open at your touch, realiizing how close you were, your breath lightly fanning his face. The familiar ping in your heart comes back at the sight of his big boba eyes boring into yours, his lips still parted and looking so kissable, but you shake that thought off and send him your usual smile.
As well as your usual question, "how was your sleep?" You notice how quickly eunseok sits up, his warmth leaving you as he clears his throat, running his hand through his messy hair and avoiding your gaze. "G-good?" The was the first time you ever heard him stutter, along with finding the tip of his ears red.
"Oh." Was all you could say before the bell rings, signaling the long and hard day was over, gathering up your stuff and throwing your bag over your shoulder. "Lemme help you.." you hear him mutter as he puts some of your notebooks in your bag and zipping it up, patting it to show hes done.
"Such a gentlemen." You joke, a low chuckle leaving his lips as you finally stand up from your chair, stretching your legs with a sigh.
Its been an unspoken rule that eunseok walks you home ever since hes been sleeping on you, leading you out of the university and to the grass sidewalk. "Hey.. can we talk..?" His hands were stuffed into his pockets as he stops walking, his big boba eyes looking up at you again as your heart begins to race. For two reasons actually, cute!! and oh no, whats wrong?
"What's up?" You try to hide your nervousness as you watch eunseok take a step closer to you, his shyness making the air a little heavy. "Thank you." He says breathlessly, a smile forming as your eye brows raise.
"For?" You gesture him to continue.
"For.. everything, really. For letting me sleep on you, for taking notes for me.. and teaching me. You teach way better than the professor by the way."
You share a chuckle, before eunseok looks at you seriously again.
"I feel like ive been taking advantage of you, so whenever you're feeling tired, you can lay on me. O-or if you need anyone to talk to..!! Im right here!" He finishes the last part shyly, his hand coming up to rub his nape.
"Eunseok.." was all you could mutter as you acknowledge his kindness. He looks up with a little grin before his eyes widen as you hug him, his strong arms coming to wrap around your waist, holding you tightly.
The next day, eunseok decides to go to bed a bit early, coming into the university with more energy than hes ever had. Sitting down next to you and jotting down notes, his doesnt fail to notice how you've been yawning ever since the professor came into the class.
"What, no, eunse-"
"Nope." He chuckles, softly pushing your head to his shoulder so you can rest comfortably, his arm coming to encirle your waist while the other is busy writing. "You rest, I'll take notes for the both of us." ♡
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