#sorry it's been so busy!! im still alive!! hai! and maybe

[thirsthourdemon]

What does happiness look like?

Includes: Kuroo

Genre: Angst, a tad of fluff

Warnings: cheating?

A/N: Mwuah Happy? What happy?

Cold and trembling, he was submerged into the freezing water up to his collar bones. Head resting on the dull coloured wall tiles of his bathroom, kuroo stared aimlessly at the edge of his tub. Chapped lips and a bored gaze on his pale face that night. Why cant we just be happy? To be obliviously happy. What did happiness even look like anymore? Was he even worthy of happiness?

These questions constantly seep their way into his head and like the overthinker he was, he’d spend hours remaining in the cold water pondering on when he was every going to see the light again. Bathing for decency. As he stood up from his position, he sneaked a peek at the autumn sky in the small compact window on top of his bathroom. Though his body was telling him to quickly cover himself, he simply took his time wearing clothes, still dazed. The moaning and groaning of his stomach, though not new, did not fell into deaf ears as he had thought to walked over to the local ramen shop to get something to eat. It wasn’t foreign for him to feel that as he had been doing that for a while. Eating just to survive. He pockets his keys and looks over at the jersey he was supposedly proud of. Framed with a picture of his previous volleyball team beside it. The smile he has on his face with the sweat dripping down his brow. Staying alive just for the sake of being alive.

What face will he make when he sees what happiness looks like again? The clicking of the door echoed telling him that he could go already. Once again taking his time, he admired the view of the night all the while not noticing the fumbling bike about to crash at him. In a swift moment he had barely moved aside as the bike had coming crashing into the pile of garbage cans. The loud crash scaring the kittens that have been concealing themselves using the bins and bags. “Im fi-hay-ne” she slurs through her loud announcement of her state while trying to pick herself up from the rubble.

“I wasn’t asking-“ “Well that’s mean! Didn’t your mother teach you to help those who needed it?” She banters while patting herself to rid of the dirt, though that did nothing to the stench that she now had on her. “You dont seem like you need help though...” his voice was in between a low growl and mumble. “Ha?! Look at this boy! Not even helping a lady! Who raised you?” She starts grumbling, picking up her bike and trying to get back on, ultimately failing. The night was so dark that only the light post was illuminating the way, looking at the ill mannered girl, he had finally gotten a good look of her face.

Scrunched up nose with stars for eyes, clearly scratched and a bit of filth layed on her soft cheeks. Her brows furrowed to the center and sweat glistening on her forehead. Cutting through his admiring thoughts” Then let me help you. My apartment is near by” he utters, seemingly regretting this but accepting the situation when she turns to him with a toothy grin and runs close him.

She smelled of garbage and oil, amusing him though she starts rambling about her day.

Wow she actually thinks I care...Hmmm...when will she even stop talking? At least she’s not awkward, I guess? What is she even talking about? “-So there I was right? He was trying to talk me into letting him eat me while I was on my period. Calling me his little ketchup packet-“ “HAHAHAHAHAHA WHAT?!” A hyena like laughter emits from his lips. When was the last time he even laughed like this? His grabbed onto his sides and cackled the night away. The night, the moment he looked at her...

His eyes relaxed and a small smile to his dry lips, that was the face he had when he had finally seen what happiness looked like again.

The face he had made everyday since then.

“Tetsu! Look at the kitten mugs! We should get some! It looks great!” “Y/N, we dont need-“ “LOOK! They even have nekoma themed mugs! And fukurodani ones! These are great! Did you know I actually went to fukurodani?” Her blabber was a tune that was constantly stuck to his head now. Watching her bring the mugs to the counter, he quickly hands his card to the register without her protest...well up until “I could have handled that yknow?” Another one of her famous complaints. Who knew happiness was a small woman in an old jacket and was as aggressive as a chihuahua?

“Fine, then you can buy the tea, kitten?” The raven offered as she feels her cheeks grow warm at the nickname. “Of course Im paying for tea, idiot!” Hurriedly grabbing her shopping bag and walking to the entrance that kuroo had opened for her. Walking side by side while munching on the weird convenience store they had both decided on.

“I like these! We should buy more next time, no?” Gasping at the delicious snack.

“Make yourself at home...” “Will do, sir~” she enters his apartment so casually and places the mugs down. Plopping down on her, self-proclaimed, spot while the rooster haired male had set up his kitchen for some tea she sets up the show they were going to watch. Spotting some packets of convenience store food, the smaller girl stared at them and started arising from her seat.

Kuroo felt small arms wrap around his waist and a cheek to his back. “Tetsu...” “Yes, kitten?” Replying with a teasing voice however regretting it as soon the male realizes what was happening. “I told you not to eat convenience store food anymore!” She scolds. Sigh It was a sight to behold. A 6ft tall man saying sorry to a smaller female, who was not even his lover, scolding him of not taking better care of himself. Though after all has been said and done she brings him to a cuddle on the couch. “Im just scolding you because I lov- ehem I..aughh I mean be-cause... you aren’t taking care of yourself again...you idiot” The last part sounding almost like a whisper. He was safe, content and most of all happy.

Recalling the questions he once had in his head.

Who knew happiness looked like her? An aggressive small girl who was way too confident.

A certain warm light to her eyes. Brow always dripping with sweat. She was fierce and weirdly competitive in things that don’t really matter.

‘Who could eat the most mochi?’ ‘Who could finish their tea first?’ Most of which the former captain would entertain. Happiness looked like her whenever she would run after the birds at the park and giggle at their “Cowardice” to face her.

Happiness sounded like her odd stories and her voice shouting at the store owner to haggle with her. She was happiness. She was his happiness.

He knew in himself that he liked her of course. Through his ups and downs they were together. The convincing him to go to classes. Y/N constantly riding up to his apartment just so she made sure he would actually go. Her constant “Good morning”...the...

“Tetsu, come on. It’s a great day to go to do something after classes!”

“OI! WHAT ARE YOU EATING?! You think rice is cheap? Ha?! Eat the food I made! No more instant noodles!”

“It’s okay. Let it all out. Im here. Your feelings are valid, okay?”

“Hey tetsu, I bought some Grilled Salted Mackerel pike!”

Until it became...

“Kitten! Let’s go to the beach!”

“Hey! Eat your food! It’ll get cold yknow?”

“Chibi-chan! You can’t even catch up!”

“Do you need help with that one? Here you do it like this...”

“Y/N, kenma said we’re meeting up at the cafe near the station. Wanna get ready at 10?”

“Hey shut the fuck up! She can wear whatever she wants. You’re just a pervert if you think you’re allowed to cat call her just for wearing clothes, ass hole”

Coming back to his younger, more passionate self. The happiest and the best version of himself, he thought that through this he was at least worthy and deserving of being loved by her.

However not everything is perfect. There were days where Y/N couldn’t even stop by. She was tired and she needed to rest for herself. Kuroo understand that but lately she was a bit too busy.

Was she busy? He wouldn’t have doubter her if...he hadnt..He saw her walking out of campus with a guy that day. More specifically the school’s counseling president.. She was so nice. Nice to everyone. Even to people like that. She was even nice to him. Him. He wasn’t even anybody. He was nothing and she was everything. He hated to think about it but...Maybe she just did that out of pity. She’s so nice that she would do that. Who was he?

Who was he to be important? He wasn’t a president of anything. He was just himself. Was he even worthy enough that she takes care of him to such an extent? What could he do for her though?

The sudden creak of the door alerts him, his sharp eyes meet Y/N’s frame holding a bouquet of flowers. “Oh hey can you help with these? The guys at the committee bought them for me as thanks but I honestly like gardens more hahaha Still sweet though” Taking off her shoes and handing him the big bouquet of red to pink roses. He could have done much better. She didn’t even like their stupid bouquet.

“There’s a green house tea house thing close to my university. Wanna go then? I mean Im going to be dropping some stuff off at my locker so-“ “Really?! Sure!” An excited squeal came from her lips while she stepped in and occupied the majority of the couch in a deflated or one might say tired pose.

“Please pick from our flower charms!” The host to the tea shop announcing enthusiastically at the duo. Normally the two would have picked different flowers however captivated by certain flowers with bright pink petals that point to the sky. Cyclamens with small papers which read “Fight for your love”.

Just like fortune cookies.

Well what do you know? Passionate love then? What a coincidence due to the situation. To fight for your love.

Being seated at their booth, both had looked around the place. Clumsily piled high with beautiful plants and the sun light almost seemed too perfectly placed. Y/N looked as if she belonged there. With the flora decorating her, one would have considered her a fairy. “You look...N-nice...kitten” stuttering to even find the right things to say.

Under the table...

She had gently inched her small fingertips to touch his calloused ones. Holding at least a portion of her hand. Soft ,comforting and happy. When the tea had arrived Kuroo had only taken a small sip until he rejected the floral drink completely. “You know Chrysanthemums actually means Loyalty and patience? It’s really cool!” With the tea’s edge to her slightly parted lips, the young female had taken a quiet sip.

She enjoys the date with her hand completely clasped in his under the table. Shoulders touching and giggling at whatever kuroo was showing her on his phone. It was literal paradise. Beautiful flora, wonderful food and amazing her. It was perfection in a moment. The sun’s afternoon light striped through her hair and a portion of her cheek. Magic.

It was all until she had started squirming and gripping his hand tighter. “T-tesu...I ughh...I like someone. It’s this guy and...he...I think he might be the one, tetsu! He buys tea with me and holds me like Im home...”

So he was right. He was correct this time. He was so used to being wrong that right now being right felt like a punishment. Tetsuro though that he was the only one who he did those things with. So right and so wrong at the same time.

The little glimmer of happiness in him slightly fading.

He was just there because she pitied him.

He hated it but he didn’t say that, he couldn’t. He had his signature grin on as he knuckles her hair he says something along the lines of “You! You’re going to scare him off! Hahaha! You’re so stubborn too, chibi-chan!”

The laughter was sweet as the tea he had refused to drink. A few moments later the male had left saying that he had to relieve himself though he barely drank anything.

1: 02 PM

3: 27 PM

“Miss, would you like me to sit with-“ “Oh? Oh! No! Sorry! Im actually with someone. Im just waiting for him”

“Oh sorry! I thought you were alone”

6: 12 PM

8: 45 PM

“Umm...miss, we’re actually going to close now”

...

“Hello? Tetsu-“ “This number cannot be reached. Please try again-“

“UGH! I am so kicking his ass when I see him! Ditching me like that!...” Shuffling to gather her things and hurriedly asking for the bill. She leaves the moment she’s cleared and in search of the rooster head male.

Meanwhile the male was in the library ever since. Trying to simply clear his head. Trying to understand what had just happened. Recalling the exact moment that you weren’t his anymore. When a woman in a skimpy outfit had cat called him when he was about to leave. Something about how he looked well hung. Livid, he grabbed her to the side which she obliged in.

This was wrong.

Though why would he care? He was always wrong. The one moment where he was correct he was also wrong. He clenched his fist and forcibly bit his lips.

He was cringing at all of this. Y/N was supposed to be his and yet...She had to choose...and she chose someone who deserved her love.

The disgusting moans of the woman he was making out with at the alley way. Hungry, disgusted and furious. His touches were rough and almost hurting her.

Again, why would he care? Y/N didn’t even like him! He was only taken care of out of pity! He was nothing! All he was...was wrong.

Empty and wrong.

He took it all out on the innocent girl’s cunt. Kuroo called out for her. Her nickname.

Grasping and groaning ‘kitten’. Balls deep in this bitch he picked up from the street when his phone started ringing.

The light of his screen illuminating them.

On the other side of this though...Y/N was walking to his apartment to see if he was there. Also just as livid. Tear stained. Her mascara smudged. No longer looking like a fresh flower. A wilted yellow carnation to her hair while her hands fumbled with her phone. She felt betrayed. She felt useless. It took so much for her to even confess! She had to time everything! To the hand holding and intimate touches.

Even rejecting the council president because of him!

He was a jerk! Why would he even invite her to a date if he was just going to ditch her?

Was she the one in the wrong this time though? Did he even like her? Why would he just invite her?

Did she misunderstand? Were they just friends?...

Finally confessing to him and he just-...mid step. Her head just momentarily looking to the side, to the alleyway. When a familiar figure was illuminated by a screen’s light in his pocket. A familiar figure with a familiar ring tone in a foreign situation. The flower on her hair dropping to her worn out shoes.

It was like a blink. Like a flicker of the light. It was at least just 2 seconds when she saw it.

There he was. Frustrated, grinning, calling out for his ‘kitten’ and balls deep in a girl she has never even seen before.

Taglist: @boosyboo9206 @kuroos-babie @yamaguchi-stan @janellion @cthuroo (thank you for helping me I love you) @my-mass-hysteria @zoppzoop

#hq kuroo x reader #kuroo x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu kuroo x reader #haikyuu #hq #haikyuu!! #anime #hq anime #anime series #haikyuu nekoma #haikyuu angst #hq nekoma #hq angst #haikyuu kuroo #haikyuu kuroo tetsuro #hq kuroo tetsuro #hq kuroo

[pollenprince]

EVERYONE LIVES- No one has to die in my muse’s story, be it for Better or for worse.

// okay I maaaay have gone just a liiiiiitle bit overboard with this so sorry for thatalso sorry if you wanted it to be a perfect piece of fluff because i went and made it sad and now i feel sad myself please save me

"...Ma! Ma-a-a! Unkie Tom is being weird again!"

"How interesting. What did he do now?"

"He's crying over that - ugh - that stupid dolphin! An' I tell him, she's alright, she got a tail - but! Ugh! He don' listen! An' he says she still lost her tail first, she's poor this an' poor that, an'..."

There is a loud, hearty laugh, and a large fluffy paw rests on the kid's messy hair.

"First things first, it is 'he doesn't', not 'he don't'. Remember? Now, dear", Toriel says with just a hint of irony in her honeylike voice. "As far as I remember, you shed a few tears over that story as well".

"Am a kid, Ma! An' he's a grown up." Frisk squints at her, furious at Uncle Tom's sensitivity. "An' it was an hour ago - no cryin' now!"

"Fine, fine, my child. I understand you. Yet I believe you are too hard on him. Show a little Kindness to your poor old Uncle, will you not?"

Frisk makes a sound of distress, shrugs and walks away, throwing their hands in the air in capitulation. Wind plays with their hair, and tall dry grass strokes their knees, covered in colorful patches of mismatched bandaids.

Toriel laughs again, but her laugh turns into a surprised little squeak as two hands hug her from behind rather tightly.

"What was that about?"

"Tom has been crying again", she answers, leaning back so she can briefly nuzzle noses with Asgore. Her tone is more playful than concerned, as if Tom crying is a bit of a family anecdote, which it is.

"Oh, is that really so?" Asgore says, raising his brows, and Toriel giggles in his arms. "Well, I suppose he will need a double portion of chamomilla tea today. Now, could you give me a hand with that blanket?"

"I guess you could say that would certainly come in hand-y", Toriel says solemnly, and they both smile while they lay the blanket under the tree.

***

Frisk walks across the field, hands flying up now and then in an attempt to regain their balance when their feet get tangled in the grass. The sun touches the back of their head, and it becomes burning hot very soon. They muffle their hair and snuff with a serious face.

Behind them, their friends settle down for a picnic. Asgore and Toriel busy themselves with food; Snowy, his father, mother and little sister work together to keep the drinks cold; the skeleton family is tinkering with the fireworks; the dogs are in charge of the barbeque, and Gerson watches them so they don't drop too much fur on the meat; Shyren sings along with her sister and two small shy ghosts; Undyne shouts something motivational while Alphys laughs herself breathless, long given up on attempts to stop her girlfriend, and the sound of her happy laugh rings far across the field.

Frisk keeps walking.

They climb a hill, stubbornly clenching their fists when the cheerful hum behind them becomes especially clear and loud. Their goal is there, on top of the hill, and they are determined to get there.

They get there.

"Unkie Tom?" they call out hesitantly. "Am sorry. For, uh. For saying you are weird. Cause, uh. It was a real sad story. I guess".

There is a rustle, a low drone, as if somebody has blown into a fire. Then-

"Oh, okay", a deep voice says, and it is both watery and warm. "I don't mind, really. I am a crybaby, right? I am and I know that and I am proud".

"You not - not mad at me?"

"How could I be? Now - come 'ere".

Frisk smiles uneasily and comes a step closer, and then - then a giant horned head descends to them to carefully press its nose to the top of the child's head.

"We are good?" asks the head with the same warm voice, and its green eyes watch Frisk with concern.

"Yeah". They touch the nose; it is warm and covered in soft fur. "Thanks, Unkie. Can I - can I talk to Asriel, pretty please?"

"Oh. Sure".

The beast in front of Frisk, an enormous dragon covered in white fur, shakes its head - wind whistles in its vicious horns, in its seven pairs of wings. All his fourteen eyes blink before one pair of them flies open and the others shut completely. Two mighty front paws dig into the ground a little deeper, each talon is as big as Frisk's head.

Then, the beast lowers its stare and says, "Howdy".

"Howdy", Frisk says.

"It's a nice day for a picnic", Asriel says. "I like the sun. Everybody does".

"How're they doing?"

"Oh, everything is quite well". The beast scratches its head. "Ana is mad at Terry. Again. She says they rush in too much".

"Yeah, I know", Frisk says. They pick a grass leaf and start tearing it to small pieces.

"Dina wants a grilled tomato", Asriel says thoughtfully. "I guess we will eat some, later".

"Okay".

"..." There is a momentary pause, before another familiar voice muses: "Nancy has been sleeping more and more lately. You could say it is a disturbing occurence".

"Hi, Chara".

"Greetings, Frisk". Neither their voice nor their eyes (deep, royal red) are filled with warmth. Chara doesn't like humans too much; they have grown to somewhat tolerate six people they share a body with, and now they are growing to tolerate Frisk, but it is a lengthy process. Frisk didn't have a chance to meet them in person, because Chara died in their forties from some human illness a century before Frisk fell, but they think that maybe even if Chara had lived twice and thrice their age, it wouldn't have changed much.

"I got you chocolate". They dig into their pockets, pull out a bar, get rid of the wrapper and hold it up on their palms as if feeding a horse. "Ma don' know about it".

"How interesting". Chara sounds a bit surprised, as always; but excessive treats is one (and probably only) way to get their benevolence. They bend down and take the treat with soft lips, pretty much like a horse. "It has melted".

"Kept it in ma' pocket. It's hot".

"The weather has been quite warm lately", Chara says most fashionably, and Frisk rolls their eyes at the prospect of smalltalk.

"Yeah. Um - can I get Asriel back?"

"Perhaps, if he is feeling up to it", Chara replies, and it is a clear sign they don't mind Frisk that much nowadays; a year ago they would say something like 'Don't you have anything better to do than to pester him?' Frisk shrugs and waits, and in a few seconds Asriel shakes his head and looks down at them.

"Hi again. What do you want?"

Frisk doesn't answer. Instead, they stare at the sad remains of a grass leaf in their hands.

"You're a hero", they say finally. It isn't meant to be a question or an attempt at flattering - just a calm recognition of the fact.

Asriel bends his head to one side, and his wings shiver. "Am I?"

Frisk shrugs. "They say so".

"Oh".

The last pieces of the grass leaf are dropped down. "I think I like it. That I'm not a hero. If being hero is like this".

Asriel jerks. "...Oh. Well. Okay. Well, you never had to make a choice to be one, so".

"Yeah". Frisk never had to become a hero, a savior, an angel, a last soul; that role had already been filled. When they fell down (on a large, soft heap of hay), a couple of welcoming monsters greeted them and led safely all the way to New Home. They caught a glimpse of Dina in her last days: she was very old already and didn't see much, but her cold fingers managed to curl once around Frisk's small, warm palm. A little later, she was gone, and then the Star of the Underground took her soul like he did with all the others.

Frisk has heard this story countless times. Eight human children fell into the Underground. They came, they died, but they never left, because no one could leave from under the Barrier. The very first human kid, Chara, died so soon, and there was no plan, back then - when their sibling took their soul, it was a gesture of anguish and grief, not a step towards the monsters' liberation; but in the end, the first step it was. Then the second kid came, small and sickly, who passed away the youngest; then came the children who stayed till their heads went grey and their fingers shaky, but their souls never wavered. They all lived in New Home with the royal family, until they died as well, one by one, and the Star, the Hero, the Angel, the Savior took their souls, one by one. Frisk was never meant to save anyone. But they were the first human kid to ever leave the Underground alive. The rest of them...

The rest of them are right here, all together, trapped and tied and tangled in the giant prison of a monster's body.

Frisk toys with the hem of their shirt.

"I like not being a hero", they say again. "I don' think I can be, even. Too hard. Does it hurt?"

Asriel blinks with his fourteen eyes, and it looks like a glimpse of a rainbow.

"...No. Maybe just a little. I got used to it".

"When will you - let go?"

"What?.."

"You have to let go", Frisk says. It is something they heard a lot lately and had thought about long before. "Miss Deborah said so. She said all souls have to move on. To heaven. Heaven has a lot of nice things", they add with an authoritative air. "You have to let them go there".

"No". Asriel shakes his head. "No, no, Frisk. You don't - you don't understand. You are too small".

"Am not small. Know a lot of stuff", Frisk mumbles. "See a lot, too. See how Ma and Pa look at you. I think they want that too".

"No". The beast becomes agitated; its wings shiver uncontrollably, its eight voices combine into one. "No, that won't do. That won't do. You just imagine things. It is better for us. For them".

"Chara, tell 'im!"

One voice rises over the others. "Tell him what? I think keeping this form is the best course of action. First of all, it gives the monsterkind an ultimate weapon against the humans. What is an army to a god? Second, this way Asgore and Toriel do not age. All in all, I just do not agree with your logic".

Frisk huffs and stomps. Chara often acts as a voice of reason for Asriel, but sometimes they are even more delusional than he is.

"Cannot stay like this, forever", they say stubbornly and helplessly. "Cannot".

"No. No, no, no". One final shake of the mighty head. Eight voices like bells, fourteen wings flap above. "No one has to leave. No one has to die. Isn't it better, like this? Isn't it the happy ending?"

"Are you happy, Asriel?" Frisk asks suddenly, and their voice is small and sad.

The beast falls still and silent. It stares down; its eyes open and close, as if looking at each other, and it repeats "Am I happy?" in eight echoing, reverberating voices, all at once and one by one.

"Are you?"

"Yes", eight voices say. "We are happy".

"Am speaking to Asriel".

The beast falls silent.

"What's - your favorite color?" Frisk says. No one answers. "Used ta be pink, last year. You spoke a lot more, too. Before you spoke so much. Before you took Dina, and a bit after. Now you only talk about them. About your human souls. Like you are - fading. Going away". They look up and hold their hands up, and the beast, tamed, lowers its head enough for them to touch its chin. "I don' want you to go. I don' want you to go at all".

There is a minute's silence. Then the beast closes all its eyes, and one pair of them slowly blinks open. Their color is brilliant green.

"The kiddo is right", Tom says, deep and warm and kind. "It was a nice time. I was happy to see the sun once again. But it is time for us to move on. It is time for us to let you live your life".

Green eyes close, and another pair flies open, the one of radiant yellow. "That would only be fair", Dina says. "We had our shot and we lived our lives, and we can't say those lives were too bad. We have to pay that debt now".

A spark of cyan. "I want to join my mom and dad", Nancy whispers in a thin, sleepy voice. "They have been waiting for me for too long. I don't want to try their patience too much".

Dark blue eyes shine next. "True", Moby says solemnly. "I always tried to help people around me. Being selfish would mean not being true to myself. I cannot afford it".

"Hey, I'm not that much of a coward to cover behind a kid's back!" Terry cries out, and their eyes are a blast of orange. "I want to see what is out there, after all! I bet Betsy was really off about the afterlife".

"You are a cabbagehead, but you are right", Ana says, and their eyes glow deep purple. "We have reached the end. The only thing we can do is leave. I hope my sins will still be absolved..."

"NO!" Asriel screams, and all the eyes are squeezed shut. "No, no, no! We will stay together, we have to, no one has to die, no one has to die, no one, no one, I cannot lose you, cannot lose you all, cannot, cannot..."

A large light drop falls close to Frisk's feet. Another one gets their hands wet. They sigh and press themselves to the white soft fur and let Asriel cry - a broken, remorseful, unconsollable sound.

"Why, Tom", Asgore says, walking closer with a teapot in his hand. "Are you still upset over the dolphin?.."

***

The picnic goes just fine.

After the sun sets and the monsters are done packing, Asgore, Toriel and Frisk go to say goodbye to Asriel - he is too big to fit into any house, so he lives in the country in large comfy barn, and he isn't coming to the city with them. It has been a few years after the Barrier broke down, so they had plenty of time to make the barn as glamorous as possible.

"Goodbye, everyone", says Toriel after mentioning every one of her kids personally. "Be good, will you, my children? Sleep tight".

"You are always welcome in our house", Asgore adds as he does every time. "Day and night, whenever you would need us".

Seven voices echo "Bye, mom, dad", "Goodbye, Toriel and Asgore" and every variation of the two. Frisk waits a few steps aside, and they - as well as the seven pairs of watchful eyes - see the quick, uncomfortable look Asgore and Toriel share just a moment before parting with what became of their son.

"I still think what I said", Frisk whispers in the large white ear when the beast bends down to them. "An' I will never allow you to take my soul. Never".

"Oh", Asriel says in a desperate voice. "But maybe, later you will change your mind..."

"Never. Am determined". They press their palm to their chest, looking like maybe, in another time, in another story, they could very well be a hero. "Am never gonna change".

"...Don't", Asriel says. He nuzzles the top of their head. "Don't change. Please. Don't grow". He lets out a shivery sigh. "Everyone grows. Everyone has to change, and to age, and to die, and I don't understand why".

"Okay. I won't change", Frisk says as if this is the easiest promise to keep. They press their hands to the sides of his head. "Good night, Asriel".

"Good night, Frisk", Asriel says as they walk downhill, and their shadow stretches far, far across the quiet field.

***

It is night.

The beast sits alone (and yet never truly alone) on top of the hill. It should go, it knows that, but for some reason it doesn't want to.

The stars start appearing.

Did you want to see the stars, ask seven voices in the beast's head.

No one answers, but the beast perks up, listening.

Did you use to like stars? ask the voices. Did you dream of them? Did you call upon them? Did you ever want to touch them?

The beast grows restless. It stares up and digs its talons in the grass with a whimper.

Do you like the stars? Do you want to see them? Do you want to reach them? Do you want to be a star?

The beast's wings shiver and rise, as if it is preparing to jump, to fly, to touch the stars for real -but it doesn't. After a moment, the wings are still again, and the beast sits upright, watching the night sky.

You will have to let go one day, echo the voices quietly. You will have to, or it will hold you down forever. Or you will never be able to fly.

I don't want to fly, Asriel says. His voice is weak, weak, as if it is fading away - somewhere too far to call him anymore. I don't want to fly if that is what will keep you safe.

You are not meant to stay safe. You are meant to fall into the sky and lose yourself among the stardust. You are meant to risk. You are meant to live. You are meant to move on.

There is no answer. The beast sits there all night long, looking up at the stars.

"I am happy", it whispers, watching the constellations circle."I am happy. I am. I am".

The night is the darkest night ever.

#[ A CRACKED MEMENTO || MEME ] #if someone didn't catch #mettaton doesn't exist #alphys is a common scientist #gaster is alive #as well as the amalgamates #the core had never been built #undyne and papyrus never became friends actually #toriel is still with asgore and they do not grow old #asriel cannot truly 'grow up'