#sorta engineer gaming consequences ???? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aadhad · 1 year

Note

Hello! I am relatively newly diagnosed adhd-c even though I had suspected it for a while and I recently finished up my bachelor’s degree in engineering. School was really good for me and my brain because it gave me really strict deadlines with somewhat harsh consequences for not meeting those deadlines, but now that I’m out of school I am really struggling with my executive dysfunction. I was wondering if you or anyone you knew had some tips on tackling that issue, anything is appreciated! (For context, the only advice I’ve received is from my NT therapist to ‘keep a planner!’ which I have already tried to many times before :’) )

It took me a while to get to this ask, sorry! Note: I've found coping mechanisms don't translate well from person to person, but it can't hurt.

First, I started being kinder to myself about planning implements like calendars and planners. I use one sometimes for a couple weeks and then never again. That doesn't mean the planner was useless, it was just helpful for a much shorter time than for an NT. It's not good advice to just "keep a planner" because the "keep" part sucks.

Meds really help if you have access. The shortage is a huge problem for me lately, but when I have my meds, I can at least get out of bed in the morning. I don't think this advice is new to any of us, but it is true :)

Cleaning is really difficult for me, especially when I'm working full time or more. I try to combat this by making little routines with some visual or location trigger. For example: I clean my counters / put away dishes while my Brita filter fills up.

I also have tried to use the "bored" part of my brain as a "go do something" trigger. It only works if you do something the second you notice boredom. Example: Waking up and playing a sorta-mindless game on my phone until I'm bored and then once I notice I'm bored, I swing out of bed.

The opposite of this "mindfulness" technique is to simply shut off the brain to do something. I know this isn't consistently easy, but sometimes enabling autopilot helps a whole lot. "Just do it" from an NT usually means power-through (which is almost impossible), but this "just do it" means don't think about it at all because it can sike you out. Even a faked "whelp, gonna do this now" pushes you into action mode more reliably than stressing about whether or not you can do a thing.

Also get rid of any apps that auto scroll. It's really hard to do, but I promise you it'll be better in the long run. It sucks executive function dry for even non-ADHD people, let alone those of us who already have deficits.

Finally, this is a way of framing that was incredibly helpful to me from about a year ago. Your ADHD mirrors the patterns of some chronic illnesses. It has flare-ups where you are suffering with no end in sight, and other times where you are fine. Unlike what a lot of people think, you can't just "coping mechanism" through the whole disorder. ADHD is not the result a lack of coping mechanisms, and we have to be gracious towards ourselves about it. More importantly, our employers have to legally be gracious about it.

0 notes

queer-and-dear-books · 2 years

Photo

Title: Here To Stay

Author: Sara Farizan

Genre: YA Fiction | Romance | Friendship | Drama | Mystery

Overall Rating: 9.3/10

Personal Opinion: If you enjoyed The Sky Blues and/or Felix Ever After, then you might like this book too. Personally, because I really enjoyed those books, I liked the premise of this one too. Bijan is the target of a xenophobic email that paints him as a terrorist simply because he’s brown. But luckily, he has many allies to lean on and people to protect him. And he’ll be sure to do everything he can to make the perpetrator face some serious consequences.

Couple Classification: Bijan X Elle = Jock X Nerd/Prep

Do I Own This Book? No.

Spoilers Below For My Likes & Dislikes:

Likes:

- If you enjoyed The Sky Blues and/or Felix Ever After, then you might like this book too. Personally, because I really enjoyed those books, I liked the premise of this one too. It really drew me in from the start because of the mystery. As soon as characters were being introduced, I began analyzing them, wondering if they were the culprit behind the act of racism against Bijan. I put Will at the top of my list being a straight, cis, white, rich male and I was close. It was his shit girlfriend. It’s funny because I did suspect Noah greatly but the fact that he was just so obsessed with Stephanie just made me think he didn’t fit the bill. Why would he be racist to a guy when the girl he adores is super woke? And it pleased me to find that he actually was not the culprit. He did send the second email though that had outed Stephanie and Erin.

- Automatically I can say that I like a lot of the main characters and their dynamic with each other. The true friends ended up being all people of color, queer white folks, and (sorta) a kid from a poor background. And Drew had latched onto his whiteness to make himself feel superior to people of color like Bijan. He believed the vitriol that people like Will and Jessica spat out so he could enjoy the rich lifestyle of his privileged girlfriend. But in his heart, he knew it was wrong to pick on Bijan because of his race. And he turned out to be a decent guy.

- Love Marcus by the way. He is truly the epitome of black excellence. And I love that he had this heart to heart with Bijan about the ways their folks had given them talks about how not to get racially profiled. It’s deep and difficult but they were able to bond over that deepness and became this united front. But even though Marcus is clearly their best player, I love that he wants to get into MIT and become a civil engineer. I think it’s super cool that that’s his dream and he doesn’t care what anyone else says, that’s what he will do.

- Sean is great too. He’s Asian (specifically Japanese) and he was raised by two moms. He is super confident and he’s artsy and the way he actually stole the anti-Bijan poster from the bigots proves he’s a true best friend. And I love that Bijan is aware of how he hasn’t acted like a best friend to Sean lately. He hung out more with Elle and Stephanie and the team than he did with Sean who was always there supporting him through thick and thin. Every game, every conversation with girls, and especially when that email was sent to the entire student body. So the fact that Bijan was thinking of making it up to his best friend by going to his showcase with a sign that read, “Eye of the Tiger, Sean” after Sean held a similar sign at his big game is just so sweet. I adore their friendship so much and I love their bond.

- Those commentators, Kevin and Reggie, in Bijan’s head were hilarious. I loved their banter and I loved how they broke up the tension and also delivered play by play of some of the basketball moments so I don’t have to picture it. It’s so weird but it’s kind of healthy? In a way? Because Bijan was so positive. They’re figments of his imagination and they were never self-deprecating. They were constantly encouraging him and delivering his best points to the reader. I loved that.

- I could feel the chemistry with Stephanie and Erin and I am glad that we got some queer representation. Even if it’s only with two WLW pairs. I would have loved to find out if any of the basketballers were MLM but I’ll settle for them learning about racial equality. Because it wasn’t just about black folks and middle easterners. They also mentioned the Japanese internment camps and had the sassy Sean talk smack to that white supremacist ass, Jessica Carter. Fuck her for real.

- I also respect the hell out of Bijan was walking away from Jessica when he realized there was no reasoning with her. Her bigotry ran so deep that she truly believed she was 100% justified in calling Bijan, a 16 year old who has never lived outside the US, a terrorist. He walked away and got his girl Elle and it was beautiful. Jessica doesn’t matter.

Dislikes:

- Fuck Will Thompson, fuck Noah Olson, and fuck Jessica Carter. Holy shit, they are the trinity of bigoted fucks. Will is the biggest douchebag with his comments and casual racism. Him and his buddies at Mercer Day and his girlfriend are the worst because they truly believe America is for white people apparently. Like the way they talked about brown folks was just so disgusting. I’m actually revolted thinking about the shit that came out of their mouths. And Noah is just an incel for being so obsessed with Steph that he actually believed he had a right to her. And apparently she “led him on” by being his friend. Ugh, I hate men like that. Toxic masculinity and white supremacy runs deep with this student body but it makes me so happy that they were all punished for their actions. Even if Will will probably still get into Trinity after all his dumbass bullshit. Fuck them all anyway because I hate them so goddamn much.

- I do feel like the fights Bijan had with his mother and Sean (less of a fight and more of a cold war) could’ve been resolved better than just them supporting him so hard in his last game. Like, at least have them acknowledge their behavior was wrong. Well, I don’t actually know who was in the wrong in the situation. Maybe Bijan’s reactions could’ve been less strong? I don’t know. Just something about it left me feeling dissatisfying, I guess.

- Also the quick and brief point of coach having a daughter who is deceased just happened and then never addressed. He talked so harshly to the kids too. Damn. At least Bijan knew it unlike in Running With Lions. This man cared way too much about some ball game than the well-being of his students and it is fucked up. I am glad that he sort of became more on their side in the end though. I just wish he said it out loud. It’s not enough to be implicit with your actions. Although I will say action is more important than words. But still. The fact that he always blamed Bijan AND the racist perpetrator never sat well with me. Call out Will and Drew for the racist shit coming out of their mouths! Instead he’s just criticizing them for not acting like a team. Like Will hating Bijan’s guts is somehow his fault.

- The writing style sort of… falls flat for me in the beginning. I got used to it but it felt so simplistic. And I think I’m willing to chalk that up to Bijan being simple. He doesn’t really strike me as the most entertaining protagonist. Again, I respect him. And he’s absolutely got some comedic chops. But I guess he simply didn’t resonate with me. Maybe because he’s a straight guy and his comments about women sometimes rubbed me the wrong way? Granted he was called out on some of it and he was also blabbing to find common ground with a despondent Drew. But yeah, straight male protagonists do not do it for me I guess. Damn. That kind of sucks for me. Although I did really like Cliff from Neanderthal Opens The Door To The Universe. He might be an exception though.

- I do really love the ending with the implication that Bijan and Drew will become really good friends in their senior year. But I still wish we had a scene where Drew actually apologized for all the shitty things he did to Bijan in the past year because he really was a douche nozzle. But you know, saving Bijan from Will and his Mercer Day cronies is a good start. He still said, “Your people” when talking about terrorists in reference to Bijan and that was puke-worthy. Well, it’s a start. And at least not every straight white person in this is incapable of growth. Granted in the case of Drew, there is a gaping difference in that he doesn’t come from money like Will and Jessica. My god I hate those two so much. Oh my god, I just remembered how Will talked about Jessica as if she was a disposable sex toy and now I hate him even more. Ew and yikes and gross.

#Booklr #Booksbooksbooks #Book Blog #Book Review #Book Recs #Here To Stay #Sara Farizan

5 notes · View notes

yshai-tia · 3 years

Text

. layercake

.LAYER ONE: THE OUTSIDE

name: y’shai tia

“at yer service, mate. aye, though ye might wanna ask again inna moon ‘er so-- lil’ more papers ‘ta push through an’ the last bit’ll change there. still can’t gods damned believe it if y’ask me.”

eye color: blue (left), green (right)

“pree’ common combo fer seekers, y’know? green from me ma, can only guess the blue from dear ol’ pops. is tha’ how it works? i ain’ a genetics sorta guy.”

hair style/color: black, lackadaisical

“oi now, leas’ it ain’ a qiqirn’s nest. take care ov’ me braids though, if yer lucky jus’ might tell ye what they mean some day.”

height: 5 fulms, 9 ilms

“look, ‘m tall fer a miqo’te, thas’ gotta count fer somethin’. ain’ about the height, mate, s’all ‘bout how ye use what yer slapped with.”

clothing style: predominately black with abhorrent amounts of leather

“what, like either ov’ those things ‘er ev’r gonna go outta style? lookin’ good an’ bein’ durable, ye can’t really go wrong there. an’ it ain’t like ‘m allergic ‘ta change, startin’ ‘ta get used ‘ta this whole buttoned ‘ta the throat business. sorta.”

best physical feature: absolutely everything, take your personal pick

“c’mon now, lookit yers truly, notta shortage ov’ ‘bests’ in sight, choosin’ jus’ one would jus’ be cruel. thick thighs, thick arse-- lil’ thick in th’ head sometimes but, aye, leas’ yer lookin’ at somethin’ nice.”

.LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE

your fears: physical restrictions, i.e. being bound, failing to protect those he loves and/or hurting them himself, powerlessness and ineptitude, particularly large coeurls

“cor, jus’ had ‘ta go from a fun question straight ‘ta this. lighten up, mate.”

your guilty pleasure: who’s guilty?

“ain’ nothin’ guilty ‘bout indulgence-- an’ i sure as shit don’ think ‘bout-- ... ah, fuck. guess there was one time... but that was long ‘go now, ain’ no point bringin’ it up.”

your biggest pet peeve: don’t get him started

“the fact that ul’dah exists, does that fuckin’ count? aye, yer right, ‘ta big ‘ta be a peeve. cor, i dunno, what ye cryin’ over spilt yak’s milk fer. i guess... aye, well, this is a personal one-like, but whiddle this fer a second; self-proclaimed sorts ov’ engineers who go off wif’out a single thought fer consequences. ... aye, aye, i hear ye, real fuckin’ bold fer someone like me ‘ta bitch ‘bout that, but, listen, a guy can change. it’s one thing ‘ta fuck ‘round with things ye don’ understand fer the sake of curiousity but ye also don’ see me gettin’ ass deep in allagan bullshit jus’ cause there might be a fancy toy there that tickles me boredom away fer a spell. shit’s got its conveniences, aye, not like i dunno the uses ova’ tomephone-- but most ov’ it is also fuckin’ dangerous, not sayin’ that it shouldn’ be explored proper, but not by some renegade blighter who fancies himself some magitek wiz so far up his own arse it makes yer local garlean look like a dozen o’ roses.

swear, ye got folks out here thinkin’ jus’ cause they can take apart a chronometer ‘er do some basic maintenance on a firearm that they’re ready fer solo-scavenging-- next ye know they’re wadin’ in aetherochemical spills an’ huffin’ ceruleum.

so that’s one fer the road there, ask me again sometime an’ i’ll enlighten ye ‘bout all the fuckin’ joys ov’ seeker racism ‘ve ‘ad the pleasure of gettin’ ‘ta know.”

your ambition for the future: much and more

“one day ‘atta time has always been me go of things, aye, gander though i ain’t without dreams, ‘specially now with tha’ stability in me life-- let me think ‘bout things that i nev’r really thought mattered ‘ta much ‘ta me ‘fore, the future an’ like.

firs’ thing that comes ‘ta mind would be me projects, bein’ able ‘ta have me own workshop has been both a blessin’ an’ a curse; blessin’ fer obvious reasons, curse cause ‘m startin’ ‘ta have one ‘ta many irons in the fire, if ye whiddle me meanin’. the biggest one though... even i gotta admit tha’ this is a generational project at bes’ outlook, but. workin’ ta’wards bein’ able ‘ta purify an’ clean the land ov’ the remnants of war-- speakin’ ov’ ceruleum spills an’ the like. with hope me husband says that we could maybe one day bring th’ elementals’ blessin’ back ‘ta tainted lands, thas’ his field of expertise at work there... jus’ bein’ able ‘ta rid the land ov’ imperial consequence is a worthwhile goal ‘ta me, i reckon.

oth’r than that.. there’s some silly things, aye, winna big marksman competition ov’ sorts, fish up a catch that no one’s ev’r seen ‘fore, get stronger... thas’ one thas’ nev’r changed, fer differ’nt reasons now mind.”

.LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS

your first thoughts waking up: depends on the morning

“considerin’ the curr’nt season an’ all, most of me mornins’ start with me husband latchin’ on ‘ta me an’ not lettin’ me leave the bed at leas’ an extra bell fer the sake of warmth.

which is ‘ta say me first thoughts when wakin’ are pree’ fuckin good ones.”

what you think about the most: his husband, work, personal projects, underlying worries and responsibilities he’s not prone to publicly airing

“i ain’ exactly the ‘fee-low-sof-ick-al’ type, mate. keep it simple-like, thinkin’ ‘bout what’s in front ov’ me, the next step aft’r that.”

what you think about before bed: depends on the night

“‘pends on if ‘m too fucked out ‘ta even think ‘fore sleep takes me ‘er not. still, thoughts still mostly the same ‘gardless-- usually somethin’ long the lines of jus’ how godsdamned lucky i really am.”

you think your best quality is: once again.... take your personal pick

“well, ‘lready mentioned me ass, me thighs... if ye fancy scars me chest an’ back are pree’ damn nice too, me arms got some neat lookin’ ones lemme-- oh, y’don’t mean physical this time. cor, why didn’ ye say so.

shit, uhh... well, i ain’ the type ‘ta give up, come hell ‘er high water. shit tha’ might be a flaw but fuck it, it gets results, at leas’.”

.LAYER FOUR: WHAT’S BETTER?

single or group dates: single

“the hell issa group date? like a bunch’a folk all mated goin’ out? separate mated pairs? yer missin’ me here. only got eyes fer one, so the point is prolly moot.”

to be loved or respected: respected

“this issa easy one. trus’ me, know what is like bein’ ‘loved’ without respect, shit’s fun fer a spell, strokes the ego ‘til yer cummin’ yer own pride an’ fumes, but is all the same as a grog binge down at the Wench-- ev’ry single time ye’ll wake up feelin’ like shite an’ prayin fer death. ye can get mighty high on’a pain an’ pleasure cycle like that, aye, but ‘ventually the pain wins out.”

beauty or brains: they correlate

“me baby’s got both, so it ain’t like i gotta choose. ‘m a spoiled bastard, i know.”

dogs or cats: both

“cute buggers aren’t they, the both ov’ em. been at the mercy ov’ the teeth ov’ ‘em both too-- from coeurls ‘ta imperial trained bloodhounds. still, can’t rightly hate the animal fer instincts an’ trainin’, all jus’ tryin ‘ta survive.”

.LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?

lie: naturally. but also poorly

“ain’ ‘xactly me strongest suit, fair, but ‘ll bullshit me way ‘round somethin’ if i gotta.”

believe in yourself: of course-- sincerity is a non-factor

“fake it ‘til ye make it, mate. call it cheesy writin’ on the wall ‘er what’ver ye like, shit does the job. no one gives a shit how ye feel ‘bout yerself-- jus’ fuckin’ tell yerself that ye got this an’ go. don’ look back.”

believe in love: he’s in it

“kinda hard ‘ta refute somethin’ ‘m experiencin’, y’know.”

want someone: every second of every day

“jus’ ‘cause ye already have it don’ mean that ye stop wantin it. aye, if anythin’ jus’ want ‘em even moreso. constantly, shit never stops. it’s fuckin’ heaven, lemme tell ye.”

.LAYER SIX: EVER?

been on stage: not professionally

“nothin’ like singin’ er dancin’, less ye count bar tables as impromptu stages.”

done drugs: not always consensually. but a moko edible every now and again isn’t such a crime.

“relax, ain’ like i make a habit ov’ it. special occasion, really. don’ fancy bein’ out ov’ it ‘ta of’en.”

changed who you were to fit in: naturally

“ye gotta if ye wanna survive beyond yer own comforts, mate-- that is if yer lucky ‘ta be born inta’ such ‘ta begin with. look, is called adaptin’, an’ if ye haven’ noticed we miqo’te are pree’ fuckin’ good at it. not even mentionin’ tryna fit in at home-- when i left it was change ‘er die; changed when i started learnin’ the common eorzean tongue, changed when i started dressin’ different, when i started learnin’ how ‘ta act, walk an’ talk so as ‘ta survive, hold me own. y’see it all the godsdamn time-- lookit every miqo’te who changed their name once they started livin’ in one ov’ the big cities, aye, not all ov’ ‘em do, but ‘nuff do ‘fer us ‘ta notice.

it’s adaption. it’s survival. hide parts ov’ yerself ‘ta preserve the greater whole. ain’t sayin’ it’s a nice thing tha’ we gotta do it-- but, aye, survival rarely is ev’r nice.

... if yer lucky though, if ye live long ‘nuff, ye can start reclaimin’ them hidden parts ov’ yerself back, aye, s’process.”

.LAYER SEVEN: FAVORITES

favorite color: black

“were ye expectin’ anythin’ else? ain’t gonna say no ‘ta gold either-- ‘specially of the rosey sort. they jus’ go ta’gether so well, y’know.”

favorite animal: jaguars, of course

“biased? me? ‘course not.”

favorite food: seafood in general, rustic homecooked meals, spicy food, way too sweet cream-filled coffee, nostalgic preference for almonds, coconuts, and fruit based desserts

“ye ev’r have those lil’ balls of cod deep fried in batter? could get meself sick on those buggers. too damn good. ‘specially if ye add a generous ‘mount ov’ dragon pepper ‘ta the fish ‘fore hand. ‘course if it’s good, fresh catch then ye can’t go wrong with simplicity neither, crab meat straight from the leg with no bells an’ whistles issa snack fit fer the finest.”

favorite game: card games, puzzles, anything that can spur fun competition, whether it be from hunting, to racing, to a snowball fight, isn’t adverse to the cheap thrill of betting on a race chocobo every now and again

“anythin’ can be good, fun competition if yer willin’ an’ rarin’, nothin’ like a lil’ friendly fire under yer arse ‘ta get the legs movin’ an’ cogs whirrin’.”

.LAYER EIGHT: AGE

day your next birthday will be: 28th day of the first umbral moon

“would be pree’ wild if me nameday wasn’ on.... me nameday.”

how old will you be: 29

“ugh, c’mon, i’m tryin’ not ‘ta think ‘bout it. knock it off.”

age you lost your virginity: between the ages of 19 and 21, he does not specify

“whas’ it matter? past is the past. leave it alone.”

does age matter: to an extent

“i ain’ no damn preacher, but it’s pree’ godsdamned obvious when someone is exertin’ power ov’r another. s’reason there be words like kid an’ adult. don’ fuckin’ be that person.”

.LAYER NINE: IN A BOY OR GIRL

best personality: bullheaded, smart, witty, compassionate, strong-hearted and strong-willed, brave, stubborn, impatient, and rather tactless

“maybe toss in a damn fine arse an’ voice like’a songbird-- wait, those ain’t personality traits?”

best eye color: rose gold

“bonus points if they gotta nice, natural glow ‘ta’em.”

best hair color: a warm rose peach with a streak of pale blonde

“what? ‘m a guy who jus’ knows what he likes. an’ i like what i like, cuff me if issa crime.”

best thing to do with a partner: exist with them in the entirety of life’s capacity

“call me fuckin’ sentimental, but learnin’ ‘ta fuckin’ live, really godsdamn live, with ‘em rath’r than jus’ survive... can’t fuckin’ be beat, jus’ can’t. shit’s golden, can’t wait ‘ta do it ev’ry single day on this star ‘til me times’ up.”

.LAYER TEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE

i love: “me husband.”

i feel: “pree’ chuffed, might go fer a nap.”

i hide: “poorly. mean have ye seen me, mate? ain’t easy hidin’ when yer this big. less’ maybe was in a house built with roes in mind.”

i miss: “me ma. aye, still lot’sa things that make me miss home, wouldn’ change where i am now fer the world, mind.”

i wish: “... fish. er, sorry, mind blanked there. they rhyme. been at sea fer the past few days now.”

tagged by: @ffxiv-sunderedsouls tagging: this is a stupidly late response so not sure how alive this particular meme is still but, here’s the deal; you wanna do this? do it and tag me THAT WAY i’ll know in the future to tag you in other things, good deal, right? right?!

#.memes #.sun kissed panther || y'shai #shai really out here like #whatever nothing bothers me #But Actually #And Another Thing #fuck this and that and the kitchen sink actually #what a boomer #for all he's grown he still never shuts up #sorry for the long post ;;;

13 notes · View notes

recentanimenews · 3 years

Text

INTERVIEW: After 13 Years, Indie RPG Masterpiece Ruina is Finally Available in English

All screenshots of Ruina: Fairy Tale of the Forgotten Ruins taken by author

This article was made possible through the invaluable contributions of translators Dink and bool, and further aided by context generously provided by writer, translator, and RPG Maker scene dweller Kastel (@kastelwrites). Sections from their answers were excerpted for this piece and edited for clarity and content.

Last year, at the start of the pandemic, a lapsed member of the RPG Maker community known as Dink stumbled across a screenshot while trawling Japanese free game websites: a black obelisk standing in the midst of ruins. “This is going to make me sound like I've been huffing paint, but this image spoke to something quite visceral for me — like I'd been waiting to find this game. Something about the sepia tones, the light and shadows, the elegance of its very archetype. I knew I had to play it.” Dink had stumbled across Ruina: Haitou no Monogatari (Fairy Tale of the Forgotten Ruins), one of the most acclaimed free RPGs ever made in Japan. Released in the antiquated RPG Maker 2000 engine in 2008 by developer Shoukichi Karekusa, it retains a strong cult following and has even been translated into Chinese. Yet unlike its RPG Maker siblings Yume Nikki and Ib, Ruina is practically unknown in English-speaking countries. Dink decided to change that. “Once I realized that it had yet to be translated into English,” he said, “it was like I’d become possessed.”

Ruina is unique. A role-playing game that takes direct influence from tabletop games and gamebooks, it boldly defies conventions established by classic console role-playing games like Dragon Quest and Final Fantasy. Rather than controlling the main character across a top-down map, the player slowly uncovers a hand-illustrated map of nodes. Survival in the dungeon requires the use of ropes, pickaxes, and oil for your lantern, resources that are all expendable. Your party members are valuable not only for their combat skills but for their out-of-combat abilities: thieving, sneaking, even swimming. Most of all, Ruina allows for choice and consequence, a phenomenon far more common in western RPGs than Japanese RPGs. Say you stumble across treasure in a dungeon, but are ambushed by thieves who want the treasure for themselves. Do you give the treasure to the thieves? Stand your ground? Or attack the thieves before they can do the same to you? Since your ability to save in the dungeon is heavily rationed, you may find yourself having to choose between restarting a save or living with the messy outcomes of your choices.

There’s something to Ruina that grounds it in the Japanese RPG tradition, rather than a straightforward riff on Wizardry or Might & Magic. Those earlier games gave you several choices as to building your party, but little in the way of story or character. Ruina is a far more curated experience. On starting the game, you’re offered four “backgrounds” that align you with certain other characters, just one year before Dragon Age: Origins would pull a similar trick. Rather than being given the full freedom to explore a sprawling world, your options are limited to navigating a single, contained dungeon. The characters available to be recruited into your party have defined personalities and quirks — some are already good friends of yours, others are insufferable, and still others have significant flaws that speak to the kind of person they are versus their gameplay function. These are NPCs out of the Baldur’s Gate school, given the illusion of life, rather than the team of personalized murderers you’d recruit in an Etrian Odyssey game.

Very little else in the Japanese games scene is like Ruina. You could draw comparisons with games like Unlimited Saga and Scarlet Grace, representing the legacy of controversial SQUARE ENIX auteur Akitoshi Kawazu. You could similarly connect Ruina with Yasumi Matsuda’s experimental Crimson Shroud, which takes influence from tabletop to the point that it has the player rolling dice in-game. But Ruina is more accessible and polished than a Kawazu game, and far more fleshed out than Crimson Shroud. Even Etrian Odyssey, with its comparatively barebones story and characters, doesn’t quite compare. Ruina stands alone in the Japanese free games community, a legendary title that people respect but don’t fully understand how to replicate.

A few days ago I reached out to Kastel, an academic, writer, and translator who is very familiar with Japan’s RPG Maker scene, about where Ruina fit in Japan’s wider field of indie games. “I know many people in the furige (free game) scene who love the game to death,” they said. “But they also found it to be a hard sell due to its unique, almost western take on the scene. The fact that the game is even this popular speaks to something.” Despite its crunchy mechanics and niche inspirations, the game is popular enough to have spawned light novels, an honor not unique to it (other RPG Maker games have accomplished the same) but certainly significant. Kastel drew a comparison between Ruina and Darkest Dungeon, another weird and uncompromising game that draws from both Japanese and western RPGs. “Ruina is sorta different from everything, but you also see dungeon crawlers get inspired by it,” they said. “Not all games take direct inspiration, but you can’t help but see a little bit of Ruina here and there.”

So why did it take so long for anybody to translate Ruina? Dink isn’t the only person to try his hand at translating it into English; just last fall, another forum dweller placed an ad recruiting a translation team to tackle the game. The unfortunate reality is that translating text within the RPG Maker engine into English requires intensive and repetitive labor. “There’ve been tools developed by vgperson [a prominent translator of RPG Maker games] for RPG Maker 2000 and some other machine translation tools for newer games, but they all remain difficult to use for translators,” Kastel says. “The way games are scripted uses events inside the map and developers rarely name them. So not only do you need to edit it via the appropriate RPG Maker engine, but you also need to go through each event contextless unless the creator actually notes things down.” So, the enterprising Ruina translator doesn’t just need to translate all the text in the game into English. It isn’t even a question of whether or not to manually edit the game’s many pictures and custom menus into English by hand. It’s the sheer difficulty of navigating between thousands of (often poorly labeled) events and variables in the RPG Maker engine, ensuring not to introduce any new bugs or errors in the process, while also finding the time to do all of the above.

Dink was assisted by a friend of his named bool, who played through the game alongside the translation process and gave invaluable advice and fixes. “Uncovering the mystery in the game's story sort of ran parallel with the translation of the game itself,” bool says. “As the story progressed, the characters would decipher and learn more about the lore of the eponymous ruins within the game, and as the translation progressed, the same held true for us. It really captivated me to be a part of this process, and I started to look forward to each new area that I could explore and each new morsel of the story I could understand.”

Without bool’s efforts, it might have taken far longer to put together something workable. As it was, it took four exhausting months. “I worked long hours — 12+ hours a day, 6, sometimes 7 days a week on top of my day job — and very rarely used my free time on anything else,” Dink says. “I did manually input the text in RPG Maker 2000, which has raised some eyebrows because there are some very nice tools available for game translation that would have saved me a lot of time. However, a huge advantage of working directly in the editor is being able to see the game more or less as it appears to players. A Notepad file streamlines the basic translation process, but it also heavily obscures context, whereas the editor allows you to see what switches and variables are being used, what music is being played, and sometimes even helpful creator comments, all in the same relative order you'd experience it from within the game.” Dink had one more secret weapon up his sleeve: the experience of working with the RPG Maker engine as an adolescent. RPG Maker has a reputation of being a tool designed to churn out Dragon Quest clones with ease; but nobody knows the intense difficulty of forcing the engine to do something, anything, like a former RPG Maker developer does.

The English version of Ruina, as it currently exists, is a workable but inevitably compromised version of the game. Running the game requires installing the Japanese RTP pack of visual and audio resources for RPG Maker to function, along with the use of the EasyRPG player to provide English-language player name entry. There’s the matter of the custom menus, as well. Several of the menus have been replaced with functional English equivalents, but by Dink's own admission they could use an expert's attention to better compare to the original. Other pictures, such as place name displays, have yet to be replaced by English-language equivalents at all. And the strict character limits of RPG Maker 2000 led to some creative truncating when translating from Japanese to English, especially with item and skill descriptions.

But the existence of an English-language Ruina, one that renders the whole game playable from beginning to end with a readable script, is a miracle. Speaking for myself, I started the long process of learning Japanese two years ago in part so that I could one day play this game, never expecting there might one day be an alternative. Others in the Japanese RPG Maker scene, knowing the brutal difficulty of translating a game made in the earlier engines, were shocked that a game of Ruina’s complexity and length was successfully translated at all. Speaking for themselves, Dink and bool insist that their own story doesn’t matter much. What matters is the quality of the original game and the hard work developer Shoukichi Karekusa put into its creation. Anything else is an addendum, another version of the game that — while it cannot ever be the original — might at least make something resembling that original experience accessible to others.

Frankly speaking, I think there’s something to that. The “true” version of Ruina will always exist in its original form, released for free by Karekusa in 2008. It stands as the defining work of a creator who sought to create a unique experience combining the appeal of console and tabletop roleplaying games, with no concessions to market sensibilities. A creator who not only released their baby on the internet for free, but insisted that a game like Ruina must always and ever be free. An austere monolith, it stands side by side with Yume Nikki, Ib, and even Cave Story as one of the great works to come out of Japan’s independent scene. Now any English speaker can pick up and play this new version of Ruina, and learn what that monolith is and where it leads to.

You can download the English translation of Ruina here. For those who want to learn more about the Japanese RPG Maker scene, I recommend checking out Kastel’s page here.

Are you a Ruina fan? Let us know in the comments!

Adam W is a Features Writer at Crunchyroll. When he is not working through exercises in Wanikani, he sporadically contributes with a loose group of friends to a blog called Isn't it Electrifying? You can find him on Twitter at:@wendeego

Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a feature, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: Adam Wescott

#Anime #News #Latest in Anime News by Crunchyroll!

4 notes · View notes

calwh7 · 5 years

Text

Sleep Walking - Chapter 1

Hey I’m back but with voltage, think I’ve moved on. This is something I’ve wanted to write for a while now so I thought why not?. Thanks to my friend tho who have encouraged me to write this especially @gamerneko-girl thank you 💕 also the gang mentioned in this is from my fave game sleeping dogs.

—————————————————————

Description: Yumeka, the daughter of Soryu Oh and MC lives with her mother in Hong Kong, oblivious to the fact that her father is the boss of the Ice Dragons, one of the Sun on Yee’s sworn enemies. Yumeka is also a mobster behind her mothers back, she is a high up member of the Sun on Yee. Now plagued by her mothers capture, she must fight for her mothers freedom by single handedly bringing down Soryu Oh, but with secrets uncovered left and right, will Yumeka make the right decision? Will she ever get her mother back?

Pairing: well it’s kinda Soryu x MC but it’s their kid. Who will also get a girlfriend.

Warning: this story contains scenes of violence, abuse, torture and very bad laungage throughout all chapters. There’s a scene in this chapter that’s kinda gruesome, it’s in between the * . You can skip it it’s not really story important.

Notes: a triad is basically a Cantonese mobster who belongs to one of a few specific gangs, Soryu is NOT a triad though. Yumeka is not a good person like her father. Also Sor doesn’t know he has a kid, he think that MC left him 19 years ago. Also Ryusei doesn’t exist in this. Enjoy!

—————————————————————

The rumble of the engine smoothed out as I parked my bike in a secluded alcove next to my apartment building, hidden enough so that no one would steal it through the night. I sighed as I began the journey up the stairs of the building, passing neon lights of suggestive words that flashed through the windows. I finally reached number 57 on the fifth floor, but hesitated before entering. I could hear shouting from inside, a mans fluent Cantonese shouting at a woman's timid, broken one that still had a strong Japanese accent. I think I'm really lucky I can speak both languages. That mans voice belongs to my mothers 'boyfriend', Li Wei Shang, who is actually a customer of my gang, the Sun on Yee, although not a loyal one. He would never dare lay a hand on my mother, he knew the consequences, but he'll happily throw me about a bit, because if I hit back I know the consequences . I couldn't get rid of him, not with the ever present promise that a much younger Yumeka had made to her mother. That was to never hurt him and always show respect, because apparently he has given us a lot and we should be thankful. Bullshit, if only mum knew what he really is, but then again I would also be exposed for who I really am as well, and the one promise that my mother made me swear by was that I was to not ever enter mafia culture. That lasted until I was about thirteen.

I opened the door, dreading what was to come. I heard heavy footsteps hurrying closer to me, and when I turned round from closing the door I came face to face with Li.

"No, don't hurt her please! Get out of here Yumeka!" Her shouts were cut short when Li's fist hit my face, leaving a small trail of blood from my nose.

"Get the fuck away from me!" I kicked him in his stomach hard causing him to cripple over.

"This little shit stole my money, MC! I need it back" He was holding his stomach whilst pointing an accusing finger at me.

"Here it is, I didn't steal it, just borrowed it" I calmly placed 50 dollars onto the coffee table and paced along to the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I could hear the shouting continuing but it had reduced to a more shouty conversation, if you could call it that.

I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror, hands gripping the sink. Sighing, I took off my Adidas jacket to inspect a wound that was left there from this afternoon by a rather jagged hunting knife. It wasn't a deep cut but it was still bleeding and in need of stitches, I'm just mad the boy who cut me managed to cut into a tiny piece of my dragon tattoo that goes up my left arm. That shit was kinda expensive. Taking the medical kit I keep in a bathroom drawer, I began sewing close the wound with a medical needle and thread, then wrapped a bandage around it so it doesn't get caught. Halfway through my bandage work my phone rang, still in the pocket of my jacket.

"What do you want Sami?" Sami Cho is the nickname for my best friend in the Sun on Yee.

"Yumeka, I don't give a shit no more and everyone agrees with me, Li is three months behind his payment and he ratted us out to the cops this morning and that's why there was a drug bust down at the docks wear house, he know shit he ain't supposed to know. We gotta kill him, I don't care about your little promise to your Momma, just go tell her the truth, no point in lying. But we'll get him tonight, I'm sure you'll be joining in as well?" Sami's tone was final as he half shouted his demand down my phone. I don't think I could argue with him, not now. Too many times I've saved Li’s ass.

"Well shit Sami, nice to speak to you too. Umm... fuck, you really going to do this? My mums gonna kill me, and you ain't seeing me for a couple days either 'cuz I really gotta lay low if I ever want a chance to speak to my mum again. I know your right, and sure as hell I'll be the one killing that son of a bitch. Just come here at three or something, and don't ring the doorbell like last time, idiot" I whispered harshly down the phone, getting my point across. I've been waiting for the right excuse to get rid Li for a long time. I just turned nineteen last month so I've been an adult for some time now and I think I can handle the aftermath of my mother. Lame excuse, I know, but at least it's something.

I came out of the bathroom with my jacket crumpled in my hand shoving it in a dirty washing pile in a basket by the bathroom door. I felt the heaviness of my switch blade, phone and wallet in my front jean pocket, giving me some comfort at least. My next stop was the kitchen where I made a nice hot cup of coffee, just like my mum taught me, only this time I slip in a little sedative that I keep hidden in my medical kit.

"Hey, sorry 'bout that Li, I'll pay you back double and it won't ever happen again" I approached him with a weary smile and gestured for him to take the coffee off me.

"You better be you little shit, don't think your mum would appreciate me telling her all about her little mafia kid" He sneered at me, quiet enough so mum wouldn't hear from the bedroom and snatched the cup out of my hand, gulping down most of the laced beverage.

"Only thing your mum and you are good at, making fucking coffee" He laughed a little as he drained the other half of the cup before slamming it down on the coffee table and announcing that he was going to bed.

"Goodnight" I smiled at his back as he retreated to his bedroom that he shared with my mother. Now I only need to wait an hour, take my mum to the hotel round the block, and the rest will just be a good night out with my mates.

An hour passed of me lying on the couch and I could hear the thunderous snoring coming from the bedroom, time to make my move. I opened the door quietly and snuck up to my mums side and shook her awake.

"Mum, come with me. I need to get you out of here. Pack a small bag, your going for a trip" I whispered.

"Yumeka sweetie, it's two in the morning, it can't be that important" My sweet mother smiled up at me from her bed.

"I'll explain when we get there, but I really need you to do this for me. I'm in a bad situation and I really need your help, but we have to get away from here. Please mum, I love you" I whispered back at her whilst grabbing onto her hand, hoping my little performance would be convincing enough.

"You're scaring me now Yumeka, what kind of trouble are you in? Please don't tell me it's gang stuff!" Her voice broke halfway through her worried Japanese, almost like she was ready to cry. Maybe I was playing into her emotions too much, no time for crying, at least not now.

"Mum" I warned her with a hard voice. "Please do as I say. It's for your safety, not any one else's" I glared and regretted it as soon as it left my mouth, but it got the job done, 'cuz now my mums hurrying about the place packing essentials for at least three nights. She picks up her bag with shaky hands and headed to the front door.

"What about Li?" Mum turned around, finally saying something for the past ten minutes.

"Fuck Li, mum, just stay close to me. Where I can see you" I ushered her out of the door keeping a firm grip on her elbow, switchblade out of my pocket and in my other hand.

"Yumeka I don't like where this is going, why do you have a knife?" I gave her a side glance.

"You really need to be quiet, I'll explain later" I hurried her down the stairs and out onto the cold street and just as we turned round the corner, Sami and two of my other friends where there to greet me.

"Yumeka, how you doing? Go deal with your Momma and come straight back, we ain't gonna be waiting for long you know" Sami greeted me with a smile, almost like he hadn't seen me just a few hours ago when we were running from some cops down at the docks.

"Just give me ten minutes" I nodded and left.

"Who were those people? I'm seriously worried right now and I need answers" Mum gripped my knife free hand with her other hand.

"You'll know when we get there".

It took us only three minutes but we arrived in a stingy, run down one bed Hotel room. Good enough for one night.

"You better start talking Yumeka, I'm really freaking out over here. You're never like this" Mum sat at the end of the bed, holding the frame for some support.

“You’re really going to hate this mum, but I’m...sorta in...um. I’m a triad. And I’m in the Sun on Yee” After my little confession, I looked around the room awkwardly before sitting on a slightly dirty arm chair where I lit a cigarette.

“You’re what?! How could you do this to me! And for how long” Her last question was barely audible. Her face contorted as sobs racked her body. If I hadn’t been so eager to leave my mum and go kill Li, maybe then my heart would’ve broke a little.

“I was thirteen. I just started out as a drug runner, then my... talents got me promoted, you could say. Now I’m just like any other guy in the gang but I got special privileges so I can keep it a secret from you, since my boss wanted me to stay, ‘cuz apparently I’m a real good find talent wise” I shrugged my shoulders and took a long drag of my cigarette.

“So those dangerous looking guys back there, they’re your friends? And those tattoos, I should’ve known they’re gang related” Mum raised a shaky hand to wipe at her over spilling eyes.

“Yea, Sami is my best friend actually. Look I’d love to stay and chat, but I’ve got a job to do. I’ll be back in an hour, please don’t leave the room. Here’s some money for room service” I dropped 20 dollars onto the end of the bed near mums lap.

“You can’t just leave me here Yumeka, I can’t let you do that. You’re going to hurt Li aren’t you?! Yumeka please-”Her cries were cut short when I slammed the door on her, taking the only key card with me. It pained me, but it had to be done. I walked down the hallway of the hotel and I could still hear my mums crying and shouting.

“Don’t you dare fucking let her out” I snapped to a passing maid who cowered back in fear. If I had known how wrong I was, I would have never left my mothers side, but nether the less I walked to the elevators humming a giddy tune, excited for the job of taking down Li.

* * *

“Look who finally showed the fuck up!” Sami shouted in my direction as I headed round the back of the sky scraper apartment building.

“Look I got a little caught up, you know how my mum is” I laughed as he punched my arm. I looked down a few feet away from him, a battered and wheezing Li Wei Shang at the other guys feet staring up at me.

“Yu-Yumeka” He coughed up a wad of blood onto the pavement.

“Don’t fucking talk to me Li. You knew this day was coming” I spat at him and gave him a swift kick to his stomach, earning a scream and from what I could hear, a broken rib.

“You better start talking. Why’d you tell Li?! Why were there cops waiting for us at our hideout this afternoon. Why were there Ice Dragons too?!” I shouted in his face and took my switchblade, slashing his shoulder as an ear piercing scream flew out his mouth.

“Oh shut the fuck up” I stood over him and grabbed his sweaty blood stained face.

“I-I told them! To get extra money! T-they said I would have protection” Li whimpered.

“Protection? You already pay us protection money. Well, you’ve been lacking on those payments for three months now. I’ve been lenient Li, you gave me and my mother shelter and food, so I got you outta a lot of trouble. But not this time, little bitch” Taking my blade, I held it close to his throat, watching him start to really panic. I wasted no time and quickly slashed his throat, leaving him to bleed out.

“Come on guys, I got places to be”.

* * *

“Mum, you okay in there?” I softly knocked on the hotel door. No answer.

“Look. I know you hate me right now but I’m coming in. I’m really sorry mum” I mumble just loud enough so that she could hear. I scan the key card and step inside.

“Oh fuck, no no no no, fuck!” I smashed my closed fist against the wall leaving a bloody hole. Funny enough, that was probably the least worse of the damage. There were chairs overturned, a broken window and TV, glass every where. There was a sizeable patch of fresh blood on the pillow of the bed, that means her kidnappers couldn’t have gotten far. But before I could do anything about it, I was brought to my knees by fear, letting a few silent tears roll down my face.

I took a deep breath, collected myself and stood upright again. That little moment won’t happen again, I will find my mum.

“She sure as fuck ain’t dead” I whispered to comfort myself, but I did not expect a chilly voice and the sting of a needle at the side of my neck to be one that answered.

“That’s what they all say. Night night”

And then I was dreaming.

#kbtbb #soryu oh #yumeka oh #kissed by the baddest bidder #kbtbb fanfic #action #mafia #oh this is kinda shit now that i read it #need a name for the MC suggest one if u like

25 notes · View notes

zitenshi · 7 years

Text

11 Questions!

Thank you @avistella for taking me into account for this! I will answer your questions to my best of my ability:

What was your first impression of me? I met you through our HetaOni Facebook page (which btw is like super dead but oh well 😂). I thought you were Latina because of your last name and I wanted to chat with you in Spanish, but then I found out that you are Filipino! Which makes total sense lol since Philippines was a Spanish colony 😆 But still, I was like “OOOPPPSSSS Good thing I didn’t try to start a conversation in Spanish LOL” 😂 Another first impression I had about you was that you were super responsible :O I felt like you were the nerdy type? (are you? haha)

What super power would you like to have? I would love to able to shapeshift. I would love to suddenly change into a cat, or then change into another person, or even the opposite gender. That doesn’t mean I don’t like myself or anything. I just find it rather fascinating to know what it is like to be another animal or the opposite gender.

If you had to give up all of your senses except one, which one would you keep? MAN! That’s a hard one! but I guess... I would like to keep my eyesight, because if I lost my eyesight, I would never be able to draw again, nor I would be able to travel the world and see beautiful landscapes, cities, people, etc. (which is like my dream ever since I was a kid).

Are you a dog or cat person? Definitely a cat person, although I think dogs are also wonderful creatures!

If you could travel to either the future or the past, which would you choose (only one)? Past, because I like history and there are a lot of things that still remain a mystery for the contemporary society. I would like to be a myth buster and go to the past and verify if things happened just the way they told us in class :)

What’s a skill you would like to have/master? I would like to master the skill of not procrastinating HAHAHA My procrastination is just getting worse as the time passes :S I worry that would jeopardize my future. But I’m my procrastination stems from my perfectionist nature and my unrealistic goals in life... I would also like to master the skill of sociability. Being capable of improvising while speaking, convincing people, etc. That would be like super useful, specially since I’m a business management major.

When playing games with an option to choose the difficulty, which difficulty do you usually go for? Depends a lot on the game. If I’ve played the game for a good while, I normally go for Hard/Extreme mode! Although, if it’s like my very VERY FIRST time playing, I usually pick Normal mode. Just because I like to be on the safe side.

Do you prefer reading novels as a physical copy or electronic copy I prefer to read an electronic copy, and specifically on a Kindle, since reading from a computer isn’t good for your eyesight. I enjoy reading from books, specially because of the smell (when it’s paper back lol that fragance is addictive LOL) and because it’s healthy for your eyes, but I prefer electronic because * Saves space. I can carry around thousands of books on a single electronic device (Kindle). Would be hard if I tried to do that with physical copies. * I feel less guilty of having someone “killing a tree so I could get this book in my hands” (I’m sorta ecological). I also feel guilty when I see a poor book accumulating dust on a forgotten shelf... * I like to have the commodity of being able to tap on a word and quickly see the definition. * I like to quickly ctrl + F a phrase, word, or idea if I need to for whatever reason. * I like to highlight phrases I like and quickly find them on the Kindle’s search engine, without feeling guilty of “staining” the sacred body of a physical book with a pencil or highlighter (lol) * I feel more encouraged to finish the book when my Kindle calculates the estimated time of finishing the book based on my reading speed. I also like to see how much time I got left to finish a chapter alone. * And finally, I like to change the size of the text. Sometimes it’s hard for me to read something if the letters are too small.

What’s the first thing you do in the morning after you wake up? Check my phone and freak out because I’M LATE!!! x’D Or just go: “Meh, 5 more minutes”

I’m running out of questions. Uhh, what’s the best compliment someone can give you? “Than you for existing” (well, it’s not precisely a compliment, but I guess they compliment my sole existence) or “You know a lot of stuff”, “I like to chat with you because I always learn something new”, “You are an interesting person” or “Thank you for being you” That type of things.

Which do you prefer to live in: sky, underground, or ocean? Well, if I lived underground, on the long run I would suffer of diseases related to the bones due to the lack of vitamin D, which my body would be unable to produce due to the lack of sunlight. The thought of my bones and legs bending creeps me out. But let’s say that I manage to get Vitamin D through pills or some other way. I might still suffer of the chemical/psychological consequences of not seeing the sun and fall into a deep depression, which would eventually push me to commit suicide. This is why some people who live in the extreme north or south of the globe can easily get depressed. They get 6 months of sun and 6 months of night. If I lived in the ocean, I guess that would be only possible if there was an underwater city protected by an air bubble where I can breath. It would require a lot of technology or other supernatural phenomena. I think it still would be hard for me to survive due to the pressure. My eardrums and other internal organs would probably explode. If I lived in the sky, I guess it wouldn’t be bad since I get sun. Nevertheless, I would probably get tons of headaches due to the lack of oxygen (if I already get headaches in Mexico City due to the altitude... and people hardly make it to Machu Pichu and Tibet... I don’t know if I would manage to live in the sky for long... SUPPOSING that by choosing either of these options also include the chance of getting a body that easily adapts to either of these environments, then I guess I would love to live in the ocean. I love the sea, I would love to see the beauties of the sea like coral reefs, colorful fish, etc. Also, I would love be a mermaid HAHAHA

Here are my 11 questions for the people I tag to answer:

Tell me about your FAVORITE DREAM.

Tell me about the CREEPIEST/SCARIEST DREAM you’ve ever had.

If you could travel to only 1 country any time you want and for free (as in, you won’t pay the ticket ever again), but with the condition that you won’t be able to visit any other country for the rest of your life, which country would you choose? Choose wisely! xD (such a weird question, I know lol)

What are your thoughts on reincarnation? Do you believe in that? (question inspired by my friend Ross)

Regardless of what you answered in the previous question, if reincarnation DID exist, what do you think you were in your past life?

If you were in the world of Avatar, which element would you control/bend? Explain why.

Which is your favorite historical character and why? (do you have any? lololol)

Mention 3 books that have marked your life in any way (Question inspired by Enrique Peña Nieto LOLOL)

You get 1 chance to talk with a fictional character. Who is it and what would you tell them?

If you were ever offered the chance to start over your life in a far away planet in a far away galaxy, would you accept? (question inspired by the movie Passangers LOL)

What was your first impression of me? (question stolen from Avi HAHA)

Now! I tag... *roll drums* @adeleinewouldyouaddaline, @nikukurin (Do you like to be tagged in these things, though? Let me know if you don’t want to haha), @ross-matsumoto @katokkun1 @avistella (I know you were the one who tagged me, but I would love to see your answers on the new questions I posted. You don’t need to do it though, and if you do it, you don’t need to tag people again haha)

#friends stuff #SO SORRY I TOOK A WHILE TO ANSWER THIS #zitenshi was tagged

0 notes

isisdreamweaver · 7 years

Text

Couldn’t decide whether this fit on my OC/FC blog or writing blog but I’m writing it here.

Back in 2015, I wrote a Metroid novel for my first ever NaNoWriMo. It was a fun time. I still have yet to upload it to anywhere (probably AO3 first because I’ve got a history on FanFiction I’m trying to distance myself from + a lot of embarrassing works with gross crap I wasn’t even okay with at the time but wrote because it got me reviews and crap), but I will... eventually. I want to have most of my Zero Mission fanfic finished and that’s been slow going.

I predict... Late 2017/early 2018 maybe? Hard to tell given things are proving so. freaking. difficult. this year.

Anyways, this is really long and ramble-y so I’m gonna put a keep reading ‘ere. Nice and neat. Mmmm yeeeeasssssss. There will also be Hatchling spoilers, so if for whatever reason you actually want to read the crap I wrote when I edit it enough, you’ve been warned (actually, I’ll warn you exactly when the spoilery stuff comes up).

Being an ‘origin story’ for Samus, this pretty much lays the groundwork for my Metroid fanon and offers worldbuilding and other stuff. But mostly just Samus growing up and trying (often failing) to fight against the pain of loss as she tries to carve out her place in the universe.

As previous posts on this blog show, my version of Samus isn’t like the usual fandom interpretation, nor is she like any of her canon portrayals with the possible exception of the Metroid Prime (nothing she does in those games contradict my interpretation).

Where the popular personality for Samus tends to be cold and aloof (as Fusion and Zero Mission, both canon, seem to roll with) or cold and cruel, my version of her is emotional and kind, wanting to be the hero in spite of the terror she feels when confronted with, well... everything she meets. She’s scared a lot in Hatchling, and from what I’ve written of my Zero Mission, she spends most of that fanfic scared out of her mind.

The reason for her fear is simply that I find courage more interesting to write than fearlessness. To me, courage is knowing that when you take the leap and try to be the hero, you may not be coming back. Fearlessness is... certainly a trait, one I will write other characters as having, but a fearless protagonist just isn’t interesting to write or read to me. Personal preference ahoy.

Samus knows she’s ultimately just one woman against the horrors of the universe. She knows that each time she fights Ridley or some other threat, that fight may well be her last. She knows that every day presents new and interesting ways for her to completely frak up and die an undignified death. But she presses on, using her fear of death/desire to live to strengthen herself and win the day. And then she’ll do it all over again the next day. Why? Because she’s Samus Aran, and there are people out there who look up to her as a symbol of hope.

Hatchling, so far when I compare it to what I’ve written of my Zero Mission fanfic and the outlines of my fanfic series as a whole, really serves as the springboard for Samus’ character like it was meant to. But it also introduces a lot of other things, both related and unrelated to her, and I’d like to ramble about ‘em, however random they may seem.

To start with, I’ve completely gone against the usual depiction of Samus’ life before the Pirates attacked the colony and killed her parents. The general accepted canon/fanon is that she lived a fairly normal/perfect life, her parents loved her very much, etc etc etc, then everything changed when the Fire Nation Space Pirates attacked. And here’s where the spoilery crap comes in hide your unspoiled eyes while you can, folks. Note this is mostly backstory stuff that I’m not sure I’ll be able to fully address in my rewrite/edit of Hatchling but I will try.

In my fanon, Virginia is the captain of the security force on K2-L. She loves Samus and Solomon (yes I somehow discovered this obscure little brother in only appeared in some comic story thing during the 90′s and decided to add him) very much, but her work makes it very difficult for her to give them the time and attention they need.

Rodney, the chief engineer and leader of the mining operation at the planet, absolutely despises Samus and is only slightly less dismissive of Solomon. The stress of his job has of course made him very bitter but it’s worth noting he was already kinda sorta short-tempered and bitter to begin with. And he definitely wasn’t keen on having kids, but Virginia assured him they could make it work.

Rodney’s main issue, the big thing that creates a huge chasm between him and Virginia and quickly sets their relationship downhill, is Samus herself.

Namely, Rodney believes Samus isn’t his and even refused a DNA test because he was in ‘Get mad, stay mad’ mode and wanted to continue believing his wife cheated on him almost immediately after they got married. Why? Reasons known only to him really, but I’d say a large chunk of it is he simply wasn’t ready for this (as stated he wasn’t keen on having kids) and it was easier to deny he had any responsibility.

So who’s the unlucky chap Rodney thinks is Samus’ real father?

He’s some dork called Adam Malkovich. Last anyone heard, he dropped out of college and joined the Galactic Federation military because his family (consisting of only him and his kid brother, Ian) was dirt poor and he didn’t see any other way to help them. Occasionally you’ll hear talk about him from some of the other soldiers. Something about him having it really bad for some guy named Anthony Higgs? Who knows.

He was also, as it happened, Virginia’s best friend since childhood.

Shortly after Virginia and Rodney got married, their jobs pointed them in the direction of K2-L. A new life, a new planet, not a bad way to start.

Virginia, however, wasn’t quite ready to leave Adam behind and while Rodney was busy working things out with Federation officials, Virginia spent a weekend with Adam before the military took him out of her life and she lost her chance to say goodbye. Absolutely nothing happened between the two, because at the end of the day their relationship was purely platonic, but this was enough to make Rodney assume...

It’s a miracle Rodney and Virginia’s marriage didn’t immediately crumble.

So, needless to say, Samus’ brief childhood with her birth family was... rocky. Rodney didn’t like her and didn’t bother to hide it, and she also had a tendency to get in fights at school because let’s face it, she’s a wannabe hero running to everyone’s aid.

Also worth noting that Adam eventually becomes aware of what his time with Virginia did with her marriage and feels like the worst person ever for helping make it happen. Hurting his best friend was never his intention, and he desperately wants to make it up to her, and even try to get in Rodney’s good graces despite him personally disliking the man. But he’ll never be able to do any of these things, because Virginia and Rodney are dead.

Anyways, this has gone on way too long and I need to sleep so I’m gonna end it like this...

Hatchling is quite different from its sequel and the other fanfics I will write, and if I’m being honest, I don’t think I’ll ever write a Metroid fanfic quite like it ever again. It’s an origin story for Samus Aran, or at least that’s its sales pitch.

At the end of the day, what it really is, is a story about people making choices both good and bad, the consequences of those choices, the pain of loss and the struggle to cope with it, denial and acceptance of things you absolutely cannot change, and how relationships of any kind are complicated and often impossible to make sense of, but you don’t let any of this keep you down.

Hatchling is about rising from the ashes and carving one’s own path, wherever it may lead.

And that’s why I’m not ready to post it. So much work needs to be done to make it closer to my vision.

#its metroid fanon rambling time

0 notes