#spn 13x02 coda fic

[fallenandthefaithless]

13x02 Coda Fic (One hectic work week over and here it is... finally)

The short walk to his room seemed to take no time at all. The quick strides he took to get away from J-it brought him to his bedroom door faster than he would have liked and left Dean standing there, staring at it blankly. It seemed to mock him, concealing the dark, empty room beyond it. The only thing that felt solid anymore was the bottle in his hand, the walls themselves seemed to be shifting, threatening to move in and crush him. For the first time since they’d moved in Dean felt as if the bunker was suffocating him.

He couldn’t return to the kitchen – there was a good chance that Sam would still be there – and he couldn’t go to the library. It was still a mess, their quick clean only days ago had barely scratched the surface. Every room was tainted, every empty space screaming at him.

The messed-up library quickly brought other thoughts to the surface and despite how Dean tried to fight them off he couldn’t help but remember the last time the library had needed cleaning. The stench of petrol and the pile of damaged books now mixed with the blood that was currently still staining the floor. He could almost feel the blood under his nails again.

He quickly pushed his bedroom door open and slammed it shut behind him, leaning against it for a moment before he realised he was standing in his pitch-dark room. He reached out slowly with his free hand and flicked the light on and stared around him. His duffle bag had been dumped at the foot of his bed, the dirty clothes in it spilling out from where he’d rummaged in it before. Nothing else in the room had changed, nothing else showed the slightest hint that the world had been forever altered, that his world had been altered. The gaping holes were less obvious in here, those holes had never really been filled in here anyway but now they felt mocking, teasing him with the possibilities of what could have filled them. All these empty spaces could have been filled, the gaps in his life fleshed out.

His grip loosens on the bottle as something tightens in his chest. The tears his been fighting for days are building and he doesn’t think he has the strength to fight them much longer. He puts the bottle down on the desk, next to the mixtape that he had pulled from his pocket. He can’t look at it for long, can’t even think about it.

His bed welcomes him as always when he collapses on it, fully dressed. His throat feels clogged and his eyes burn. The room around him doesn’t look that different to how it was a week ago. It feels different though. The whole bunker does. Larger and colder, the once welcoming hallways now feel empty and distant. There is no noise, no friendly chatter or Netflix playing down the hall.

There’s no gentle knock upon his door and a voice full of thunder softly breaking the silence.

There’s no home to be found in these walls anymore.

Ao3

#destielfanficnet #spn 13x02 #coda fic #spn 13x02 coda fic #destiel fic #ish #my writing

[aetherealcas-blog]

Gone

You lie awake,

Alone in a room full of 

Memories.

Sleep should have come by now,

But slumber evades you 

Like clever prey does a hunter.

The sheets are

Cold

Beneath your touch.

This is the first time that

This bed has held one

Instead of two.

There's a toxin

Forcing itself into your lungs,

A growing storm outside.

Gasps shallow,

Gale howls,

You are unable to breathe.

For the one you love is

Gone.

The daytime is no better.

Your insides are turning 

Outwards,

Nothing is as it

Seems

Anymore.

That storm still rages

Begging to be set free.

You are trapped

Here

With tensions boiling over

And hope a desolate tundra.

The boy, Jack,

He keeps asking about his

Father.

You cannot bear the

Thought of talking about

Him.

For the one you love is

Gone.

So you sneak out,

Nighttime air heals

Open wounds.

But this wound will not

Heal.

So long as he’s not here. 

The wind

Overpowers your storm

And you have to

Let it go.

That all consuming anger

That has been consuming you.

You know that

Tears do not solve a

Problem like this.

But there is no stopping 

Them from

Falling.

For the one you love is

Gone.

You should not be here,

Crying in the rain.

Because the Winchesters

Always have bigger

Problems than this,

Don't they?

But nothing is bigger than 

This.

Not Cas.

Because you

Loved him,

Didn't you?

You never got to tell him

That.

You never got to tell him

That

You still love him,

With every fibre of your being.

There is

Nothing

That can be done.

For Castiel, the one you 

Love?

He is

Gone.

#destiel #destiel poem #destiel fic #destiel angst #13x02 coda #dean winchester #castiel #grieving!dean #hurt!dean #spn #supernatural #I'm really sorry for this #honestly #I'm gonna go cry in a hole now bye #my fic #Imo writes