#terry p you bastard you did it again

[creacherkeeper]

i am reading guards guards and i never want to be done with this book 🥺🥺

#your honor i am in love with VIMES #i wish to MARRY LADY RAMKIN #CARROT IS MY GOOD GOOD SON #this book is too much i’m in love #terry p you bastard you did it again #i’m going to have to immediately buy the rest of the city watch series aren’t i ://// #i’m like uuuuuhh 5/7ths through it #i’ve had it forever so glad i finally got the urge to pick it up #so so good #discworld

[atiny-piratequeen]

Against the Tide: First Voyage (Ch.1)

Pairing: Eventual Poly Ot8

Genre: Heavy Angst, Eventual Smut and Fluff mixed in

Rating: 18+

Tags: DemonPirate!Au, Supernatural, Eventual Poly Relarionship, Violence, Blood, Elemental Powers, Past and Modern Day AU, Mythical Creatures, Character Death

A/N: There could be tags added later, especially if there’s something I write that potentially triggers my readers. The last thing I want is for that to happen, so please don’t hesitate to give me feedback if there’s something I write here you’d like me to tag

Summary: Hongjoong is the leader of a notorious pirate crew. A run in with a demon leaves him with immortality and the ability to grant immortal life to those who form pacts with him. One day, a member of his crew angers a sea witch, and she decides to exact revenge on them by casting Hongjoong into a completely different part of the world and stealing his memories. The seven key members of his crew spend centuries looking for him, to no avail, and meet up in modern day Seoul to try and strategize how they can find their leader. Discouraged, with some close to giving up, they happen upon a man with a familiar smile and voice speaking on the street one day about a Long Journey. Now the seven of them must get Hongjoong to rember who he is before he slips through their fingers once again.

AO3 Link

Taglist

← Last Voyage   Next Voyage →

=Age 10=

“What in the blazes is that?”

He flinched, flailing his legs as he tried to get down from the man holding onto him by the back of his shirt. That earned him a sharp jab to his ribs, making him cough and sputter as he lowered his head, fear pulsing through his body. 

“He was hidden between some barrels in the hold, Captain. It looks like he was one of the port hands in the last town and he stowed away when no one was looking.” 

The figure across from him clicked their tongue, and he cowered as the sound of leather boots approached him, the wood of the deck creaking loud with every step. 

“Stowed away on my ship? Do you have a death wish, lad?” a voice growled at him and a hand reached out, lifting his face abruptly so he could look the Captain in their eyes. 

“A…woman…?”

The Captain’s eyes narrowed dangerously, one hand going to the blunderbuss pistol strapped to her thigh before she pressed it to the center of his head, lip curling up in dissatisfaction. 

“Aye, and you’re about to be at the bottom of Davy Jones’ locker, rat.” She hissed. He trembled, unable to move his head away from the firearm pressed against it. Panicked, his eyes looked around, finding other members of the crew were also women, some with shorter, choppier haircuts. Some of them sent him sympathetic looks, but none of them made any moves to stop their Captain. 

“I hope you’ve made peace with your family and your maker, lad. I don’t take kindly to people sneaking aboard my ship.”

“I d-don’t have a family…s-sir.” He quickly admitted, having a momentary battle on what to call the angered Captain. The finger that she had on the safety of the blunderbuss paused, and she put a hand on her hip, arching a brow at him. 

“I’m an orphan. I worked at port on the docks for as long as I can remember…I just wanted to see the world and do something more than be a poor orphan on the street, C-captain. P-please…please take me with you, I promise I’ll be useful!” He pleaded, brown eyes holding a flicker of hope and determination. The Captain’s brows went up in surprise, a small laugh leaving her throat. 

“Do you know what you’re saying? Me? Bring a child along? You wouldn’t last-”

“I’ll prove it to you! If I can make myself useful and survive, you make me a member of your crew!” 

The captain rolled her eyes and lowered the blunderbuss, putting it back in its holster and nodding for the man behind him to drop the child. He fell to the deck harder than expected, groaning in pain before looking up, looking at the Captain’s outstretched hand. 

“My name is Captain Jihyo. When we’re in port, you only call me Captain Hyo. If it gets out there are women aboard my ship, or that I’m a woman, our entire crew will be executed. Do you understand?” She snapped. The child grabbed her hand and nodded, pulling himself up with her help before he looked up, determination shining in his eyes. 

“My name is Kim Hongjoong. And I swear on my mother’s resting spirit, I’ll be a fine member of this crew.”

=Age 15=

“Must you always get yourself in trouble?” Jihyo grunted, dragging Hongjoong back into the tavern by his ear. He hissed, frowning as he looked up at his Captain. The woman had taken a liking to him in their years together and has quickly become a mother-like figure to him. 

Which…would explain the stern look and smack upside his head he received when Jihyo had pulled him into the room he was to stay in. 

“I told you not to go outside. I know this town well, I knew you’d pull this again-”

“I didn’t do anything wrong, Captain! He was harassing that lass on the street, she clearly didn’t want any of his attention, so I…’helped out’.” He coughed at the end of his sentence, avoiding Jihyo’s sharp gaze. She stared at him for a long time before she sent him a smile, pressing their heads together and lowering her voice as she spoke. 

“I appreciate your respect for others, especially women, lad. But you still have to tread carefully. The last thing we need is a brawl breaking out because you’re on your justice kick.” She gently scolded, ruffling his hair before moving away from him. 

“You are a pirate. I would imagine you’d earn yourself a rather..unique name if you continued being so nice.” She waved her finger at him, heading towards the door. Hongjoong rolled his eyes half heartedly, but smiled nonetheless.

“If they remember me for being more than ‘just another pirate’, I’ll take it as a compliment.” He grinned before diving onto his bed, smiling contently. 

=Age 19=

“There are some odd jobs we can do while in port.” Jihyo informed them, standing at the ship’s bow with her arms crossed. She had already cut her hair before they neared the port, her eyes set on the approaching docs as they approached. Hongjoong was at her side, along with her First Mate, a quirky gentleman named Daniel.

“I’m sure they’d be happy to see you, Captain. This is your port town, afterall.” He teased. Jihyo hummed, tilting her chin up as they docked. The town was welcoming of pirates, but she still made sure to change their flag to the country’s colors, just as a precaution in the event of any naval officers also being in town. 

“We’ll be staying here for a few weeks, stock up and make sure not to do anything stupid.” She ordered as they lowered the anchor, sending Hongjoong a sharp look as he tried to tip toe out of her sight. 

“That means you, Mr. Kim Hongjoong.” 

“I have no idea what you mean, Captain Park Hyo.” 

Jihyo rolled her eyes and smiled, nodding for him and the rest of the crew to disperse and enjoy traveling in the port town. She and Daniel stayed behind. They watched the people mingling in the port with small, calm looks on their faces. 

The silence was broken by Jihyo’s coughing, her brows pulling up as she hacked violently. Daniel frowned, pulling her out of the view of the curious port hands before sitting her on the ship’s deck. Worry creased his brow as she continued coughing for a few minutes before letting out a shaky sound, sighing. 

“Captain-”

“Don’t say it.”

“Jihyo. You can’t keep pretending this isn’t getting worse.” He told her sternly, holding her shoulders. She looked up at him, her lips trembling before she shook her head, brushing her hands off on her trousers before she stood. 

“I know. That’s why we’re here. I heard a tip from the last town that we’d be able to find something here to prolong this…just bare with me.” She told him before she squared her shoulders, pulling her hat down to slightly obscure her eyes as she headed down towards the docks. Daniel sighed and nodded, following faithfully behind her. 

=3 Nights Later=

Jihyo smiled as their Quartermaster, Psy, poured her another glass of rum. They all drank merrily together, eating the meat and rice served at the tavern. 

Well, most of them.

Hongjoong sat at the end of the table, nursing a glass of water as he looked over some of the maps their Sailing Masters had gotten a hold of while in town. He surveyed the pages, muttering to himself about potential treasure. Jihyo glanced at him before smiling, taking another hearty swig. 

The sound of their merriment was interrupted by the door to the tavern being opened abruptly, a group of men dragging in bloodied figures. The tavern owner jolted from her spot behind the bar, eyes going wide as the men dropped their wounded on the taven floor. 

“What in the hell are you doing?! You’re going to ruin my floors!” She barked in disapproval, slamming down a mug on the bar, ignoring the way the brew inside sloshed out and spilled onto the counter. 

“Bite your tongue, woman! Can’t you see they’re bleeding out?!” One barked. The woman behind the counter, Momo, raising her brows in surprise at the rude tone. She grabbed a knife from her garterbelt beneath her skirt, stabbing the bar as she looked at them with an unamused expression.

“I don’t like your tone.”

“W-we’re sorry, Miss! Please, let us stay just a little longer! We’ll pay for any damages and all the rounds will be on us tonight!” One of the men quickly tried to remedy the escalating situation. The pirates and other patrons in the tavern cheered, going back to their own devices, while the other wounded men sent him a glare. 

“What? We have to decide what to do and we can’t leave them on the street!” He snapped. A blonde in their group shook his head. 

“I told you dense bastards, we shouldn’t have gone near that cove. Did you see what that wench did to John and Terry?!” He barked. The other three men looked down, clearly terrified as the two they’d brought in coughed weakly on the floor, the focus fading from their eyes. 

Hongjoong bit his lip, moving to pull his seat out when a hand landed on his shoulder. He turned back to the table to find Jihyo had moved from her spot, now taking her place beside him. She sent him a firm glare, clearly having sobered up from the shock of the bloodied men. 

“Don’t you dare.” she growled, her voice lowered to mimic a man’s flawlessly.  Hongjoong shrunk down in his seat, mumbling. 

“I wasn’t-”

“Ay, was I born yesterday, lad? I know that look in your eyes. You’re troublesome need to help people all the time. Don’t you dare go to that cove. I don’t want to leave this port town knowing my son-” she paused. Hongjoong’s lips parted in shock and Jihyo cleared her throat, raising her voice to Momo.

“Momo! Another round of rum! Gimme the strongest you got!” She huffed, pivoting on her heel, leaving Hongjoong stunned in his chair. Jihyo sat down heavily in her original seat, avoiding eye contact with the teen as Daniel chuckled from beside her. 

Hongjoong felt his heart racing, his mind whirring as he ran the word through his head over and over again. 

Son…

A fond smile came to his face, and he momentarily forgot about the men behind him. Until a wary laugh came from the left. 

“At least we left that wench bleeding out. Tomorrow we’ll blast the damn cove shut. Send her straight to hell where her kind belongs.” He spat. The other men didn’t laugh along with him, but they seemed to be relieved that whatever it was that injured their own was in pain and soon to be trapped in the cove. 

Hongjoong’s gaze drifted back to the maps in front of him.

He can’t focus. 

=Midnight=

Hongjoong carefully removed his boots as he approached the cove, knowing he’d have to wade through knee-deep sea water in order to get inside. He rolled his trouser pants up, tucking his shirt into the waistband of them before he began his careful approach. There was a lantern in his hand, and he had to keep it high above his head to keep it from going out. 

When he reached the mouth of the cove, he bit his lip, looking from left to right. He didn’t see anything initially, so he steeled himself and pushed deeper, his feet lightly slapping against the wet stones of the cove. 

Then he heard it. The low, pained hiss. 

“G e t o u t.” 

“H-Hold, I’m not here to harm you, I only want to help-”

“Get. Out.”

Hongjoong bit back the urge to turn tail and run, turning to the sound of the voice, lifting the lantern. He saw a puddle of blood, his stomach churning as the light rose until he saw a raised stone, seeing a woman staring at him, her face and hands smeared in blood. Her hair fell in front of her face, her lip curled up into a snarl as she looked at him through the ink-colored locks. 

“You need help, you’re injured-”

“G E T O U T!” she screamed, and he was knocked off his feet in a harsh gust of wind. His lantern smashed to the ground, plunging the cove in darkness, with only the moonlight in the mouth to light anything. 

Hongjoong groaned, hissing when he felt the glass from the lantern cut into his palm as he pushed himself up. 

“L-lass, I don’t know what they’ve done to you or why, but I can’t leave you here hurt like this. Please, they won’t leave you alone. Those sailors intend on blowing this cove shut and leaving you here. You’ll die!” He pleaded into the darkness. There was a laugh, low and humorless.

Suddenly, lights appeared in the cove, in the form of balls of fire, each hovering in mid air around the woman. She stayed where she was, reviewing the brunette pirate with mild interest, though there was still pain in her features. 

“You…you must be a fool. Do you not know why they came? Do you know nothing of me?”

Hongjoong ignored the pain of his palm and shook his head, standing to his feet once more as he carefully approached her. He raised both of his hands when the woman’s eyes narrowed at him. 

“I am not from this port town. I am a pirate, we’ve only settled in port days ago. My name is Kim Hongjoong. Who are you, lass?” 

“I am Hyuna of Tortuga Bay. I am a demon.Those insolent fools came to take the ‘treasure’ of this cove, as fools tend to do. However-” She hissed, groaning as he breathing turned ragged again. She allowed Hongjoong to approach her closer, her hands twitching as he stopped in front of her. 

He looked at her face, hesitantly moving her sweat and blood-slick bangs out of her face. She was a beautiful woman with a porcelain complexion under the blood caked to her face. At this point, Hongjoong wasn’t sure if it was hers, or the blood of the sailor’s. 

“They said they left you wounded-” He stopped himself when he noticed the culprit of her agony. 

The glinting gold crucifix stabbed straight through her chest. His eyes grew, and he noticed the burns around the entrance of the wound and around her fingers, as if she had tried desperately tried to pull it out herself. 

“I…I can take it out.” He said suddenly, eyes transfixed on the crucifix. She stared at him carefully, a small glimmer of hope in her light eyes. The flames that illuminated the cove grew closer, and she looked up at him in interest. 

“You…said you were a pirate, correct? Why are you helping me? You know nothing of who I am and nothing of the rumored treasure, and yet you come to my aid? You could leave now. I can’t die, I’d be just like this for all eternity and you can take my treasure. Why are you trying to help me?” She inquired. Hongjoong shrugged one shoulder, running his uninjured hand through his bangs. 

“I don’t like seeing people being ganged up on. I won’t stand for men doing this to a woman, no matter what the reason.” He told her flatly, meeting her cautious gaze. 

“You can say my…my mother raised me well. I may be a pirate, but I was still raised with respect. Besides, if the puddle of blood I’m standing in is anything to go by, I probably wouldn’t make it out of the cove before you ended me if you wanted to, injured or not. Now…do you want me to take this out?” he questioned once more. 

Hyuna stared at him for a long moment before she closed her eyes, nodding. 

“This may hurt. I’m sorry.” He whispered, wrapping his fingers around the golden base. Hyuna’s brows twitched in pain and he could hear the sound of burning, so he yanked with all of his strength, pulling the crucifix out in one go. 

There was an unholy scream and Hongjoong dropped the crucifix in an instant, clamping his hands over his ears. The floating flames went out and Hongjoong frowned, trying to feel around in the darkness. 

“Lass? Hyuna? A-are you okay? Did I hurt you?” He called into the inky blackness. There was the sound of a giggle, gentle and feminine before the whole cove was illuminated. He looked up in awe, watching as the light illuminated from Hyuna’s body, different from the small, whisp-like plumes of fire from before. 

“I…I am free again.” She exhaled, holding her hand in front of her face, smiling wide as the burns healed themselves. Hongjoong watched the hole in her chest close and let out a relieved smile. 

“Good. You may want to leave, though. Those sailors intend on coming back tomorrow to blast the entrance closed.” He reminded her, moving to dust his hands off on his pants, but stopping when he remembered the blood running from his palm. 

“You…are unlike any man I have met in this realm. Come, since you’ve freed me, it’s only fair I give you a gift in return, yes?” She hummed, looking down at his hand. 

“You don’t have to-”

“You didn’t have to come here, Kim Hongjoong, the pirate.” She countered. He snapped his mouth shut, nodding in defeat. She did have a point. 

“I will give you the treasure many have come to this cove for. Eternal life, youth, and power beyond your wildest dreams.” She wiped at the blood on her cheek, reaching for his hand to lace their fingers together. 

Hongjoong felt a pulse course through him, and his eyes widened as his heartbeat increased. 

“What-”

“Kim Hongjoong, I will give you power. You will be like me, a demon. Upon forming blood pacts, you will also make those under you immortals. If the pact is strong, you will share your powers. Accept my gift, for I know you will use it well.” She muttered, her eyes glowing bright blue. Hongjoong gasped, feeling like his body was on fire, energy coursing through his veins. 

“HONGJOONG! GET AWAY FROM MY SON!” a voice caught Hyuna’s attention as a pirate ran full speed at her. She hummed and lifted her hand, a gust of wind lifting the woman effortlessly. She shook her head, sending a fond smile to her. 

“Ah, the mother he mentioned? I never imagined his mother would be a pirate disguising herself as a man. It makes sense, why he’s so unique.” she hummed before looking down at Hongjoong, noticing the faraway look in his eyes, his brow twitching in confusion. 

“What are you doing to him?! Let him go! Hongjoong! Hongjoong!!” Jihyo screamed, thrashing fruitlessly against the wind. Hyuna smiled in fond understanding and shook her head. 

“He has received my gift. He is immortal. Now, he must control his powers. Things tend to get…wild on the first night of the full moon after one becomes a demon. Now sit still. I will help him harness his powers here and now so that your crew won’t be ripped to shreds on the next full moon.” She instructed, watching as Hongjoong’s eyes went from brown to an electric blue, the overabundance of power coursing through him making small spider-web red veins appear on his face. 

His gaze snapped to Hyuna and she rolled her neck. 

“You and your demonic self must become one. Come, I will train you. Though I suggest we hurry, lest your mother have another child over there.” She informed, nodding at Jihyo’s direction. Hongjoong let out a low sound before darting to her full speed, a large blast of water shooting past him. 

Hyuna side stepped and smiled, watching Hongjoong’s face change, three marks appearing on his forehead, along with a bushy white tail. Fireballs rained down on her, all of which she knocked away without batting a lash. 

“Water, even my kitsune powers have went to you? Fascinating. More, show me more, Hongjoong.” She urged, skipping backwards as the ground beneath her feet shook. 

=3 Hours Later=

Hongjoong finally fell to his knees, panting as his eyes returned to their normal, welcoming brown color. Hyuna flicked her hand, bringing Jihyo closer to them, ignoring the way she immediately pulled her blunderbuss on her. 

“Hongjoong….” She trailed off, frowning as he passed out shortly after. 

“You…”

“I care not for your personal feelings, but I will explain myself. You are from this town, so you know of me. The ‘treasure’ of this cove is me. My blessing. My immortality. Men find out about demons that can grant them eternal youth and they hunt them down. I have killed most who have ventured here, and had you not have raised him the way you did, your son would have joined. But he is different. I can give him my ‘treasure’ with confidence that he wont abuse it and create a crew of immortal vagabonds. The powers are a little extra gift.” She winked and moved to walk past them. Jihyo watched her every move before she started coughing once more, brows pinched up as she observed the blood in her palm. 

“N-No…”

Hyuna stopped at her side, looking down at her in interest before she straightened her back, turning towards the mouth of the cove. 

“I suggest you form a pact with him. You don’t have much left, otherwise, pirate.” She informed her before she disappeared in a dazzling light. 

Jihyo wiped her mouth and grabbed Hongjoong’s arm, dragging him back out of the cove, sighing.

—-

“Captain, don’t you want Hongjoong to be here for this?” Psy inquired, pushing his glasses up as Jihyo gathered all of the crew-sans Hongjoong-on the deck of her ship. 

“No. I have something important to ask of all of you.” She told them, her voice solemn. They all perked, nodding as they watched her carefully. 

“My health…is dwindling. I doubt at this stage there is anything I can do. I know Psy and Daniel have no desire to be Captain when I’m gone, and that most of you have found Hongjoong to be reliable enough for the job. I have one order I want you all to take to the graves with you.” She told them, taking her hat off to rub her head before she set it back on. 

“Hongjoong was…he’s received a ‘gift’ and he’s not human anymore. The lad somehow impressed a demoness and she turned him into one of her own. He apparently can give this immortality to others,”

“Wait, so why won’t you just-”

“Because I refuse to take advantage of him. I want my son to give his powers to those he trusts wholeheartedly on his own, not have ties to us out of an obligation for us taking him in.” 

They all began protesting at once, but Jihyo slammed her heel against the deck, glaring at them all. 

“My orders, are for you to not accept any offers of immortality from Hongjoong. Even when he becomes captain. I am here now, and I’m giving the order here and now. Swear to me you won’t betray me. This is a dying woman’s wish.” she told them, leaving no room for argument. 

They all exchanged looks before small, reluctant smiles crossed their faces. One by one they all swore, patting their captain on the shoulder as they filtered back down to their quarters. Daniel and Psy stayed by her side, watching the waves of the ocean in silence as tears ran down her cheeks.—-

=x=

“Please!”

“No.”

“WHY?!” 

Jihyo sighed and looked up at Hongjoong from her bed, her face pale. Daniel was at her side, holding her hand as she coughed weakly. Her condition had gotten worse at an alarming rate and it became impossible for her to hide it. 

“P-Please…Please, I can save you. Please, why won’t you-”

“I said no, Hongjoong. Let me go. Let me rest. You’ll be a fine captain.”

Tears welled up in his eyes as he shook his head, his chest heaving. 

“Daniel! You can’t be okay with this! You love her! Tell her to let me help! Tell her to-”

“It’s already been decided.” Daniel cut him off, raising his head to look at him with bloodshot eyes. Hongjoong bit his lip, looking down with tears rolling down his cheeks. He shuffled to her other side, his shaking hand taking hers as he looked at her face. 

“Captain…M…Mom…please…”

“Just stay with me, Hongjoong. Stay with me and keep a smile on your face. You’re a different breed of pirate. I want you to make your own crew and change what it means to be a pirate for the world, okay? Until the last wind blows through these sails, please never stop being the center of the world.” She told him, reaching under her blankets to pass him a compass. 

“Let it always point you forward, my son.” She mused, cupping his cheek, crying with him as they continued sailing, the boat gently rocking the trio. 

= ~ =

The crew shed tears as Daniel set the last stone on top of the pile. Underneath, buried deep in the sand, laid the peaceful body of their captain. 

She had asked to be stripped of all materialistic items, jewels, gold, silver, and buried in the sand of an island she visited when she became a pirate. 

Remote, quiet, with the beautiful scent of island flora beckoning you in deeper. 

One by one, each crew member dropped a bloom on top of the stones, before heading back to the ship. Hongjoong lingered, the bloom in his trembling hand before he sighed and finally relented, setting it down on top of the pile. 

“Goodnight, Captain Jihyo…Sweet dreams, mother.” He whispered, turning and heading back with heavy footsteps. 

He stood on the bow, the wind carrying saltwater and the scent of island flora past his nose like a gentle caress. There was a flower tucked behind his ear as he stared down at the shore, eyes locked on the pile of beautiful rocks in the sand, topped with flowers and shells. The ship pulled away, and he bit back the need to sob as he watched the mound grow farther and farther away. An old voice called to him from behind, and he turned, noticing Psy standing behind him. 

“Captain? We have to keep moving.” his tone was gentle, a hand running through his balding head as he bowed his head in respect. Hongjoong lifted his chin, wiping his eyes with the back of his palms before he turned. 

Right. He was the Captain now.

“I’ll be right over. We have a long journey ahead of us.”

#fie writes #Aginst the Tide #AtT Ch1 #Ateez fic #ateez fanfiction #kim hongjoong #park seonghwa #jeong yunho #kang yeosang #choi san #song mingi #jung wooyoung #choi jongho #member x member #pls work this time omg

[alphabees-writes]

Glee - S1 E1 (Pilot)

Is it a smart idea to rewatch glee again? No.

Am I going to do it anyway? You bet your sweet bippy I am!

Am I going to liveblog my garbage monkey brain thoughts along the way even though nobody asked for it? Hell yeah.

Here goes!

Wow. The first frame of this entire show is literally of a woman who looks like she’s about 10 years above the natural lifespan of a Cheerio. Then again, I’m sure Sue’s not above holding back her best recruits for multiple years because Ohio high schools are apparently just Like That™

I also never notice this opening song was a remix of Keep Me Hangin On, wow. That’s actually kind of interesting foreshadowing of sorts, like, kind of smart. I’m glad I’m watching the part of Glee that was kind of smart.

This scene also doesn’t feature any of the Unholy Trinity as far as I can see. Are they a JV squad? Am I putting too much thought into this?

Sign #1 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: Really, my guy? Driving around with your muffler dragging on the ground so bad it’s making sparks? That’s not very Road Safety of you. Fuck off. 

Sign #2 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: Wow, there’s going to be a lot of these, huh? Anyway, anybody with working eyes would clearly see how scared Kurt is right now. “Making some new friends Kurt?” Fuck off. 

KURT. FIRST SIGHTING OF THE BOY. What a delight. But also, not a delight, because he’s being bullied and he deserves better. Look at his outfit. Iconic from day fucking one. 

Finn, you’re a himbo. What’re you doing with these assholes?

Puck’s first line in the whole series is “It’s hammer time!” What a fucking dork? Who made this boy popular. 

DO MORE THAN TAKE HIS COAT, FINN. LET HIM GOOOOO!!!

I paused while they were tossing Kurt in the dumpster and, wow, got the most hilarious frame where the guy who isn’t Puck is getting a meticulously polished boot to the face. Netflix let me take screenshots, you coward.

The first shot of Quinn... My wlw bones are shaking.

Why would they use that photo for Lillian Adler...? WHO WAS BORN IN 1937, MIGHT I ADD. THAT’S NOT A REAL YEAR. 

It’s weird to see Mr Schue actually speaking competent Spanish. Why did they veto that later? The ONE likeable thing about him was his competence as a school teacher, and they really threw it out the window huh?

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THE MEMBERS OF SANDY RYERSON’S GLEE CLUB??? This kid seems to really like singing. Also, welcome to the beginning of Ryerson being annoying as all hell.

Oh my gosh, the background choir stuff. This show really had style back in the day!!!

R A C H E L B E R R Y Y O U R M A K E U P ! ! !

Ken Tanaka walked so incels could run.

Jane Lynch you beauty. You absolutely impeccable beauty. 

“Since when are cheerleaders performers?” Uh... Emma...? I get that Sue’s going ham on her budget but, like, be nice to the students? They perform their butts off!

Sue really just BRAGGED about having an iPhone. I was 9 when this came out. Why do I feel old...

Sign #3 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: He hears his coworker, presumably of several years, just got fired and doesn’t even ask why. He just jumps on the glee club like a frog on hot asphalt. 

He really wants to Make The Glee Club Great Again, huh? 

MySpace was really a thing, huh? And why does this grown-ass male teacher know so much about the students having them?

I know nothing about actual American schools, but I do know that they sure as shit don’t work like this. Why does a club have to win EVERY competition to be considered an asset?

Mr Shoe really lying awake at night half-naked next to his wife thinking about the glee club already? Yeah sounds about right. Also, of course you’d think up Nude Erections for a name, you asshole. Put some clothes on.

R E S P E C T MERCEDES YES!!!

Brad the piano player was really here from day ONE... Icon.

Cellophane, Mr Cellophane... Yes Kurt bby you killed it. 

Chris Colfer looks so YOUNG here!!! 

The hair fix... I C O N I C !

Tina really wrote her stutter down, huh? And nobody ever saw through it? Amazing. 

The goth Tina look, too... Perfect... Never change...

Say what you want about Rachel Berry being generally insufferable, but I really fucking feel it when she sings On My Own. The monologue kind of kills The Drama of it, but they really solidly established her character by layering them. She really is a gold star right now.

The first-ever on-screen slushie!

The way she walks down that hall. My God you can just see how terrible she is to be around.

Never forget Rachel staring at photos of her with two men who turned out to not be her dads. Who are they? What are their stories? We’ll never know.

God, I love this stupid scene of Quinn, Santana, and a bunch of Cheerios cartoonishly typing hate comments on Rachel’s MySpace video and laughing like knock-off Disney villains. 

I like watching season 1 Artie because season 1 Artie was a good character. Mostly. And he KILLED Sit Down, You’re Rocking The Boat. Rachel wasn’t asking for a male lead who could keep up with her vocally, she was being straight up ableist and that’s a fact. I love Cory, but Kevin McHale was always a better singer.

Mercedes picking up and spinning Rachel for this little routine is something I never really appreciated before, it’s cute even though they don’t like each other yet!

I really don’t get why Rachel says they suck. Yeah, sure, she’s gunning for a solo, but the vocals were solid there. The choreo was just a little janky, possibly because it’s their first EVER rehearsal?

“There is NOTHING ironic about show choir!” Incredible.

How long did it take Mr Shoe to find Rachel out on the bleachers? Did he search the whole school first?

ARTIE! CAN! KEEP! UP! WITH! YOU! VOCALLY!

I never understood Rachel quitting so soon. How long was she in the old glee club for? Surely they were never popular either?

Ah, the first “My hands are tied” for the series. Mr Figgins is a garbage principal. 

Not going to advise the principal against referring to Artie as a cripple, William Shoestir? Alright. 

How did the Schuester marriage last as long as it has? Do Will and Terri’s insufferable personalities just cancel one another out?

Sandy Ryerson really just openly brags about cheating the system for medical marijuana and dealing it? 

Matt Morrison 100% has lip fillers. Nobody’s smile curls like that naturally.

“Terri and I are trying to get pregnant” What a weird way to phrase it. What is it, a race? Who’s going to get knocked up first!

A FIFTH OF BEETHOVEN, HOW I’VE MISSED YOU... The sound design of this show at this point is just... *Chef hand kiss*

“What you’re doing right now is called blurring the lines” Oh just wait until season 4, Sue... Just you wait.

WHY is Mr Schuester so ridiculously sweaty? I didn’t need to think about that?

EVERYONE on the football team is 30.

William Schuester you can’t just watCH TEENAGE STUDENTS SING IN THE SHOWER YOU ARE A TEACHER WHERE DID YOU GET YOUR LICENSE?! 

Hearing Cory sing this always makes me emotional. What a talent!

Sign #4 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: I don’t think I need to say why using the weed to blackmail Finn is a shitty thing to do, do I?

“I’ll pee in a cup! ...I’ll pee...” I love Cory’s delivery. 

PRIORITY #1: HELP THE KIDS Oh season 1... I love you so.

Mr Schue you WISH you were anything like Finn Hudson. You never will be.

Ah... Finn’s first monologue. He’s such a sweetheart. AND SO IS CAROLE. Carole is a queen I will stan forever. YOU THROW THAT MILK BB!!!

All Finn wants to do is make his mom proud. What a sweetheart. Mr Schue you do NOT deserve him.

These POV shots really enhance things, why the fuck did they stop using them?

Subtly having Kurt look at Finn in the same shot as Rachel was a nice touch indeed!

RACHEL WAS REALLY DOWN WITH ROLLING ARTIE RIGHT OFF THE STAGE HUH?

Terri’s a straight up hoarder, huh? Like a raccoon but instead of collecting edible garbage, it’s monogrammed garbage.

Surely you can’t just... BECOME an accountant, right? You need some serious qualifications for that right?

Also say what you want about how insufferable Terri is but her actress is ridiculously talented and absolutely steals every scene she’s in.

Now the background choir is doing Soul Bossa Nova and I am L I V I N G why didn’t they keep that motif!!! It was so ICONIC!

I don’t need my prostate removed. RIP Carole Hudson but I’m different :/

NO MEANS NO, KEN! TAKE THE L AND MOVE ON! Way to take out the fact that a girl won’t date you on everybody else around you! Toxic bastard. The absolute stench of melodrama on this bastard is noxious.

I was going to ask why Rachel didn’t know about Finn and Quinn if they’d already been together for 4 months, but then I remembered gossiping requires friends...

“Terri rides me. Hard. And I’ve always appreciated it!” Why don’t we talk about how this line sounds more. Why doesn’t Emma bat an eye at it oh my god

HERE COMES VOCAL ADRENALINE!!! And Jesse St. James is nowhere to be seen. How convenient. Also, they’re all 30. I’m sensing a pattern.

Sorry VA, all songs popularised my Amy Winehouse legally belong to Santana Lopez

Puck, if you were stupid enough to fall for the prostate excuse, that’s on you. Or maybe it’s on the education system...

You can do better that Mr Schue, kids. Don’t mourn him.

Ok, what the fuck is this scene where he’s filling out the job app to become an accountant? There’s a dude in the row in front off him just throwing crisps around? What is this place?? Why are you here sir??? 

“Accounting is sexy” shut up you horrible married man

The Cheerios sure did have straight ponytails for like, one episode, huh?

Finn is such a good boy. He doesn’t know it yet, but he is, and saving Artie from that portapotty is his first step to figuring it out.

This shot of Finn just wheeling Artie out of there... Ugh. My HEART.

KURT WHAT ARE THOSE LAYERS? SWEATER SHIRT SWEATER? HELLO???

Pee balloons. Nailing the lawn furniture to the roof. Finn, you’re better than that!!! Stop your dudebros. 

They really had Artie be a guitar player, and a pretty good one at that, but they never mentioned it again? Artie had such potential SMH. (Also, Netflix subtitles are telling me it’s Arty, but I categorically refuse to spell it that way.)

Whyyyyy didn’t he go to KURT for the costumes as well? Look at his outfit, Finn. He clearly wants in on that job. 

Will Schuester really is just desperately clinging to his glory days in high school. I’d feel bad for him if he wasn’t such a creep about it. 

Emma, meaningfully: Do you know who that is? That’s you, Will... [FRANTIC DISCO MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND]

I find it hilarious how the audio of Don’t Stop Believin’ just DOES NOT match the characters except for the solos... Also wow, autotune city. Am I awful for genuinely not liking this cover? 

I like watching them perform it though. Kurt’s adorable little shimmy... Rachel and Tina smiling at each other like that... Everybody having a blast... I’m here for it

LOOK AT MY BABIES TILTING THOSE MIC STANDS...

Ok the way Rachel and Finn look at each other here is making me FEEL

I know Puck’s about to join anyway but WHY is he there watching... Just to have a mysterious bad boy moment? Lol you dramatic bastard

Please let them win nationals without you, Will.

So, yeah! There’s that! Those are my thoughts and feelings, basic though they may be. Episode one is fantastic, the kids are fantastic, and William Schuester can suck a toe. 

#Glee #Glee seasson 1 #Rosie watches things and then says things about the thing

[kanna-ophelia]

Fake marriage in the South Downs fic is updated.

Summary: Crowley has a breakthrough. Also, there is Ancient Roman love poetry.

A room with just one bed had seemed like a fantastic idea in Crowley’s optimistic head.

Lots of forced propinquity. The chance to wander around wearing nothing but clinging silk pyjama parts falling beguilingly down over his hips, because really, what was the point of being a demon if he couldn’t pull a few cheap tricks. He’d tried it in the cottage, The chance to find out if Aziraphale undressed at night or just removed his new cardigan and loosened his sleeves and undid his top shirt buttons and what the hell was wrong with Crowley, he’d seen the angel bathing naked, why did the thought of unbuttoned cuffs make his blood pound in his ears? And that was no good because now he was remembering he had been speculating on the chances of wandering in for a chat while Aziraphale was in the bath, or Aziraphale coming to find him in the shower. Unfortunately there was no way he was going in that nightmare room again.

The point was. The point was. The point was that it seemed an ideal way to keep putting into Aziraphale’s head that now Heaven and Hell knew they were on friendly terms their relationship had certain possibililities.

It wasn’t supposed to encourage Crowley to jump the gun and end up laying it all out for Aziraphale and getting—not rejected. That would have been a clean blow. I don’t know. Yes, that was good, Crowley was hopeful, he was happy, he was closer than he had ever been, and that was the whole bloody problem. Because now he was in bed, and Aziraphale wasn’t, and Aziraphale was there and he was existing and breathing and turning pages like the tormentor he was, reminding Crowley that he was just over there, and the kisses on his lips and eyes were still burning and God Crowley really had straightforwardly offered himself up for the taking there, hadn’t he? Do you want to have me?

He was going to discorporate from embarrassment. He was going to discorporate from wanting. He was going to discorporate from embarrassment from wanting because he couldn’t even escape to the bathroom for a bit because urgh. It might settle him down, but at what a cost? Anyway he wasn’t going to sleep. Not when all he had to do was look up, and Aziraphale would be bathed in golden light from his lamp like the unfair bastard he was.

“What are you reading, angel? I know you didn’t bring a book. Although I suppose you don’t consider books a frivolous use of miracles."

“Oh, I’m sorry, am I keeping you awake?"

Yes. “Nah, it’s fine. I just hoped you would bore me to sleep. Read to me?"

“Oh, I’m sure you wouldn’t like it,” Aziraphale said, with hasty suddenness.

“Oh really.” He wouldn’t be a snake if he couldn’t sniff blood in the water. Or was that crocodiles? Anyway. “Don’t tell me you’re reading theology at me, because that would be a breach of the Arrangement."

Read more: AO3 Wattpad

#good omens #good omens fanfiction #ineffable husbands #aziraphale/crowley #crowley x aziraphale

[carolinenicolettes]

MEET CAROLINE ESTELLE NICOLETTE ! 

(IN)CORRECT QUOTE -

“ this is taking too long ! i’m going to miss the farmer’s market ! ” —scary terry or scary caroline? who knows

“ she liked messy beds and movie nights without any lights on. she liked the quiet company of a few good friends. her idea of love was gentle and silent, like a whisper of a touch. some things are magical and magic, contrary to popular opinion, is often found in the most ordinary of places. ”

BASIC

NAME: caroline estelle nicolette NICKNAMES: n o p e it is caroline or NADA  AGE: 21 BIRTHDAY: may 1st SPECIES: starchild  GENDER: cisfemale PRONOUNS: she/her

FAMILY

MOTHER: amelia nicolette — born into money, massive name in the fashion industry, only wears fashionable power suits and celestial themed jewelry, drinks expensive whiskey neat FATHER: unknown PARENTS: raised by her mother, kind of. had a nanny named maggie growing up whom she loved dearly and was very good friends with a doorman named robert as well. it takes a village, you know. FAMILY: direct relation to the nicolette family that you all know and love aka odette. caroline’s mother is odette’s father’s sister. SIBLINGS: not at all.

PHYSIAL ATTRIBUTES

FACE CLAIM: scarlett leithold NATIONALITY: american HEIGHT: 5′7 WEIGHT: 139lbs BUILD: slender, and a bit insecure about that HAIR: long with a subtle wave , nearly down to her waist for now  HAIR COLOR: golden blonde with a few summery platinum highlights EYE COLOR: baby bluuuue DOMINANT HAND: left ANOMALIES: during warmer months, and nearly year round since moving to california, there are little freckles dusted across her nose  SCENT: seasalt, cocounut, sunscreen . . . . and occasionally mon paris by ysl ACCENT: she fought against that new york accent tooth and nail so none ALLERGIES: cats but also bullshit DISORDERS: dbd — dumb bitch disorder FASHION: an odd mix of vintage. corduroy dresses, plaid skirts, ribbed turtlenecks, velvet headbands, doc marten boots. a lil 60s, a lil 70s, a lil 90s. despite having quite a bit of money, she’s always wearing at least one thing that looks hand-me-down and that’s because her mother never threw anything away, so it likely is.  NERVOUS TICS: rocks back and forth from her toes to her heels, death grip on a camera strap, tucking her hair behind her ears QUIRKS: collects enamel pins, always has a camera on her, closes her eyes when trying to focus on listening

LIFESTYLE

RESIDES: east side, victoria BORN: new york city RAISED: new york city VEHICLE:  black 1969 chevy camaro, rarely ever drives it though as she bikes/skates most places PHONE: iphone 11 pro :\ COMPUTER: mac desktop collecting DUST PETS: too busy sneezing bc of odette’s cat

HIGH SCHOOL EDUCATION: graduated COLLEGE EDUCATION: senior MAJOR: museum studies, photography MINOR: film studies CAREER: freelance photographer, current waste of space living off of that family $$$ EXPERIENCE: apprenticeships in fashion photography, internships in museum curation  TRAINED IN: photography and classical ballet (reluctantly) OTHER: literally just .... she’s had a camera of some sort in her hand since she was like 12

POLITICAL AFFILIATION: liberal RELIGION: worships the ground stevie nicks, cher, and debbie harry walk on but that’s about it BELIEFS: you have to be really careful when buying sweaters from thrift stores because 80% of them are absolutely haunted MISDEMEANORS: none FELONIES: none  TICKETS AND/OR VIOLATIONS: NONE  DRUGS: once or twice but she’s strung out enough on her own  SMOKES: weed, on occasion. cigarettes are gross. ALCOHOL: leisurely, mostly socially. Queen of Beer Pong™ DIET: fairly healthy, not at all picky, a little bougie.

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: labels are stupid SEXUAL ORIENTATION: and sexuality is fluid MARTIAL STATUS: never going to happen CHILDREN: *nervous laughter* AVAILABILITY: not at all LOOKING FOR: she’s actually legally blind so

LANGUAGES: english, french

PHOBIAS: fuck spiders SPECIFICALLY. might cry but also doesn’t want you to kill it just... take it out and awaaaay HOBBIES: photography, film — the act of and the watching of, hiking, live shows, bothering odette. literally has/had 3294328049 of them but is really only good at photography/film TRAITS: + adaptable, loyal, charismatic, clever, playful, adventurous ; - flighty, forgetful, cynical, unforgiving, disorganized, impatient SOCIAL MEDIA: the works - snapchat, twitter, instagram

FAVOURITE

LOCATION: photo pit at small venue concerts, anywhere within 10 feet of the pacific SPORTS TEAM: whomst  GAME: playin w people’s HEARTS ...... jk ....... kinda MUSIC: haim, fleetwood mac, the aces... any band with a female lead singer SHOWS: ghost adventures, big little lies MOVIES: frances ha, almost famous, bob dylan: don’t look back RADIO STATION: anything that strictly plays oldies FOOD: loves baked goods BEVERAGE: cold brew coffee, cinnamon spice tea COLOR: a nice dusty rose :\

CHARACTER

MORAL ALIGNMENT: chaotic good MBTI: isfp — the adventurer ENNEAGRAM: type 7, the enthusiast  ZODIAC: taurus HOGWARTS HOUSE: hufflepuff TAROT CARD: the empress TV TROPES: max mayfield, serena van der woodsen, ainsley howard, donna sheridan and honestly? eloise  SONG: summer girl - haim

IDEOLOGIES: shove it down shove all the emotions DOWN do not feel. you can tell a lot about a person based on the music they listen to when they’re sad. three is the luckiest number.

THE RUNDOWN 

amelia nicolette never intended to be a mother. she was freshly 21, inches from a moment that could launch her career in the fashion industry, and she hadn’t been in love or even interested in the idea since she was seventeen. so when a one night stand with a wealthy older man, left her with morning sickness and an odd appetite for two, she was less than thrilled. 

he was even less thrilled, insisting that she terminate the pregnancy. i’ll drive you, he’d said in a hushed tone. only then did she see the tan line wrapped around his ring finger. a married man. a one night stand. and a complete bastard . amelia decided, then and there, to carry to term and then put the baby up for adoption.

until may 1st at 3AM on the dot when the most obnoxious scream split through the air. a baby, just slightly too small, kicking and screaming relentlessly was born in manhattan. a baby who wouldn’t shut up until she was placed in the arms of her mother, where she fell quiet and calm and she slept. 

amelia nicolette never intended to fall in love, but holding her tiny baby girl, she knew then and there that she was a goner. caroline, as a song that sounded like joy played from a radio at the nurse’s station. estelle, for the stars. nicolette, the only family name she’d ever need. 

for three years, it was just the two of them in a new york penthouse, and amelia learned quickly that she was good at being a mother. but that didn’t change her free-spirited nature or the way her heart had a tendency to yearn for more. she had the resources, and caroline was old enough — . . . and she’d been sketching for years, sitting on top of a portfolio that piled a mile high.

along comes nanny, maggie, and thus began the life she’d lead for the rest of her childhood. mom spent a lot of time at work, building a fashion brand that went international by the time caroline was 6. because of this, she was gone more often than not, leaving caroline to grow up under the watchful eye of a nanny.

but she called every night. made it home for every big holiday, every recital, every birthday. in the summers, caroline would spend her time split between visiting her mother, visiting odette, and visiting a beach house in victoria. there was a certain lack of permanence that caused her to be adaptable, allowed her to be comfortable with change and give into the whims of a free spirit like her mother’s.

but people filtered in and out, came and went, and on the flip side of the same coin, there was a sense of detachment , a fear of getting too close to people who would move out or move on.

despite this, caroline never found herself to be lonely. she was a friendly little thing with bright eyes and a sparkling curiosity, picking up hobbies instead of toys, but never quite being exceptional at any of them. she made friends with doormen and caused problems for the people behind the desk. she became good, early on, at keeping herself busy, making her own fun – . . . all things that have very much carried into adulthood.

she was lucky, and she’s fully aware of it which is why, from a young age, she always did her best to find ways to give that luck to people who seemed to need it. 

things had a tendency to be tumultuous, what with her mother coming and going and her very best friend being in and out of the hospital, but she tried to go with the flow as best as she could. things were good but never truly exceptional.

until she met jude. he’d been in the same children’s wing as odette, and they’d known each other for a little bit before caroline met him. the three of them were inseparable, at first, simply best friends. but as they got older, feelings shifted and two friends became more than that.

our girl was in love for the very first time. and it was sweet and gentle and everything a first love is supposed to be. over time, that love grew, just as they did, and it was visible to anyone with eyes that they were in love. for two years, it was good, he was good. 

and then he wasn’t. despite two years of remission and a healthy life, he fell ill again. there was nothing to do but stand by and watch as six months passed by, far too quickly, and he slipped away into nothing. ultimately passing away just a week before his 20th birthday. 

caroline didn’t allow herself to feel it, for a while, lingering in the denial stage of grief for far too long. new york felt empty without him, without odette, without her mother, and it didn’t take much for her to pack her things and join her mother overseas, taking a gap year from school and focusing on herself, on her photography.

she spent a lot of time with a press pass around her neck. fashion shows and fashion shoots. major events and sports games. concerts and festivals. but there was one thing she loved more than anything else, and that was capturing the off-guard joy of life in candids of strangers on the street or in the crowds of bars and concerts. she found her own style, her own way of storytelling through a lens, and slowly but surely she began to heal.

still, there was no way around the way her heart felt a little heavier, a little darker, and how smiles from strangers at the other end of the bar made her stomach churn. she developed an aversion to new relationships of any sort, anything deeper than surface level becoming a bit too close for comfort. 

and while life traveling was fun, she missed having a sense of home, so she went to where the only other person who felt like home was, finding herself moving into a house with odette in victoria.

she’s been around for a couple of months, coming out of a gap year and looking to finish her degree in the spring. victoria, for now, is home.

these days she’s a little bit more cynical. a little bit less likely to let people too close. a little bit lost but also who isn’t when they’re 21

#oof #— &&. CAROLINE ; bio .

[the-firebird69]

🏡 Chas & Royal: BB (Hackman/Stiller)

Turns out to be recent.

They're they're visiting a dead relative and it's a real one that's what he died a while ago years ago what is for this war over technology and they didn't pick it up because it was over this war and he did lose to Dave and arn it was afterwards. The Sounders played by BG who is treated like a son by Arn the one date announced that she is not a real son and that he was treated his son because he couldn't do anything with c a a I also miss number from his perspective not our son I said and took it like this well he's kind of a cheap suit and I'm not saying it's because of my kind we'll see and your arrogant as hell so he fell and was falling and came up with us last minute plan because of that conversation. Slot if you say stupid things to us as Dan has said all morning and he was freezing up by Terry and it was sent to the office because Terry is tired of hearing about it the others called in about him too and said he's bothering you and bothering him and bothering him is given the same weird stuff back it doesn't weird about no it does it has an effect on him it makes them freeze up and make some CDs and make some stop and think and make some cry the circle think about something these people kind of simple in the bottom of shadows is hard to do that you say start noticing it what what he was doing was a lot more than that the saying I'm going to stab you I have a glove on the cover it up little send me say this someone already stabbed you is there say this I can't stand to do people keep saying that to you all this garbage this morning we said we're going to kill you because you won't shut up and we want to sleep and stuff and we don't want you passed through this with your kill you so we can that's why we do that a lot too you're bigger of the enemy you're a Satanist it doesn't matter if you're alive if you did a spinner you don't understand it at all, you're speaking you're speaking to us Olympus as if you're one of us because you're a dumbass and we're killing you because you won't shut up no one speaks to us that way he never does ever never talk to her that way the losers okay you keep saying it and we don't accept it at all because you're not us and we keep killing you and you won't shut your mouth you're going to die until you never come back you piece of s***. I'm in Jesus a George George and Deanna bow they have a plan and it's not the greatest it's better than yours you got to go up there and ruin it as you do every plan because your pieces of s***.

Max heard laughing because of what he said second you said used to run everything analog cable has pieces of s*** this retarded people we're going to go up there and ruin one of the most masterful recuperation I've ever seen in my life I've never seen people like this ever again stuff is the biggest bastard on do the korok seeds it's unbelievable but you have faith in these idiots she'll never make it you cannot have faith and that which does not work in the way that you think it does you know I want a y a y a y and what they say is here have a z a y a k and l and a pee and then you have to stop and say I said three things they're all wise what's the problem here and they'll go I don't know we have to have a k and a p in there every single time and it means something what's corned beef they're always running around asking what you're doing and you told him already what are you doing the show us we don't want to hear from them niggars of yours.

He started laughing hilariously he said this is ridiculous they're so awful they're not even human and it's not because of like what he looks like him most of the time it's because of a dumb plan their plan is inhuman it's so dumb it's obnoxious what's a f****** a****** like this game Dev he's doing an act and he thinks nobody knows it they know it's an act I know it's an ax Mike those it's an act Justin those it's an axe dickhole Shawn Moses today is it there's trying to shovel this ask and it tonight thinking to myself what exactly is your ax for the piece of s*** you want me not to have food so I'm going to stick a fairy up your ass and I got rid of the line and leave the room that's how you get rid of you cuz I want you not to have a way out you faget go to say we hate you he is so because his what are you but I'm using you as food for Cajun ever senior food how do you like a loser see the s*** to try to incite me doesn't mean anything we are an F student everything you do you do is a failure have a huge motorcycle company and I made a huge motorcycle covers it's bigger than all the motorcycle companies on Earth and sales throughout the entire existence of motorcycles it's all based on the name of the motorcycle I gave you because I worked on it and has nothing to do with you to puke ass b**** father who I made.

You take yourself so seriously and I'm going to get rid of you and I'm going to order it now I don't want to see you here to endanger me any further I don't want you here Sunday or Monday how are you out of here now and just like Thor said I want teams in here that have a killer instinct to get rid of you until you don't come back in other people's names so easy way to head detective a 911 went after other clans like some sort of idiot would after all these clans and not making a you went after Mac and he was doing the collecting and incorrect way and you just huge ass whole way while with your buddy cork.

Zues Hera

No I said a lot of it up front there but we're going to put a lawsuit together and yes you damn what you did last night and yesterday against our son and we're going to ask these guys to help go gives you to take whatever you have their social security will assign it, and of course your father out of the treasury it's starting to work because he decides to blow your brains out which is one way of paying us because you're a pain in the ass same as Sean everyday every night this s*** and you don't pay attention to he's the one doing it so going after him too and we can do the same thing and Sue for everything is worse if it's just social security cuz we've Frozen all your accounts like we have then he's going to attach your social security it will have two people lives fraud against social security you'll save all the time and let's kill everyone of you we don't have to do that because he needs this kind of heat now

Thor Freya

#Youtube

[havecats-willtravel]

a blue dot in a red state: austin, texas.

“are you doing anything fun this weekend?” everyone asked. “i have no plans, except i’ll be in austin.” “you’ll love it! go here... and here... and here.”

this was the conversation over-and-over as i started planning for my weekend getaway in this part of liberal texas. after four jam-packed days in austin, it’s everything they said it would be, and exactly what i wanted it to be. 

it’s one of the youngest cities i’ve been in, but the lularoe leggings were few and far between (thankfully!). austin brings to the table the booming tech industry and has a river that runs through it (win-win in my book). and no matter where you are in this town, they’ll be a bar and a dog. 

what i am glad i packed: comfortable shoes! austin is an active city (ok even if that means the activity is going to a bar) so you’ll definitely want to bring some footwear with support, like classic converses or trendy tom’s.

what i am sad i left at home: sunscreen and a raincoat! in a city where you are doing a bunch of on-your-feet exploring, the weather is going to dictate quite a bit of your plans. one day the severe thunderstorms made for a lazy morning, yet magically later that afternoon it was so sunny that my skin quickly turned pink. be flexible, but be prepared.

our recommendations:

we stayed at the uber luxurious jw marriott in downtown; a truly stunning hotel with gorgeous views of the city and the river. if i could have found a way to take that shower home with me, i would have. for a convenient, yet yummy, bite to eat, grab a seven-layer salad (romaine, adobo chicken, roasted tomatoes, corn, black beans, avocado, cheddar, smoked pepper ranch, $15 and on the late night menu too!) and a 10 span chardonnay from the central coast on the patio of the corner restaurant. 

staying on the food and drink train, second bar + kitchen just across from the jw marriott is an ideal place for rose with girlfriends or an after work beer to decompress. the swanky, modern interior still provides the cozy vibe, while the outside patio is breezy and refreshing, and always my recommendation. the avocado fundido (asadero, house chorizo, chipotle corn chips, $12) is a must!

after work, meet up with your friends on the rooftop of handlebar. this old school vibe hangout is guaranteed to be overflowing with young adults drinking fancy beers out of tall boy cans. but they have happy hour deals so cans up!

post work drinks or pre-game of late night, swing into irene’s cafe for tasty sandwiches in a diner-like atmosphere. we recommend the smoked turkey sandwich (bacon, havarti, bibb lettuce, poblano aioli on toasted white bread, $12) and the pulled chicken and avocado sandwich (smashed black beans, spicy cabbage slaw, pickled jalapeños on a milk bun, $12)

take a stroll down south congress street where shops and restaurants abound. the storefronts are all designed to showcase their own character (checkout farm to market grocery, uncommon objects for example), while low-hanging tree branches covered in white lights (i’m looking at you perla’s) complement the movie-like appeal of this area. stop in to apana’s coffee + beer while walking back toward downtown to grab one of their craft brews on tap or specialty coffees. or bring your laptop and setup your own office for the day.

if you’re like me and you can never get enough mexican food, do not miss a chance to dine at torchy’s tacos, which will satisfy your craving while keeping your budget in mind. get there early for the breakfast tacos (we didn’t, sadly), but if you can’t, you can’t go wrong with anything on the menu. we recommend the baja shrimp taco (hand-battered fried shrimp with cooked cabbage slaw topped with pickled jalapeños and onions, queso fresco, cilantro and a wedge of lime; served with chipotle sauce on a corn tortilla) and dirty sanchez taco (scrambled eggs with a fried poblano chile, guacamole, escabeche carrots and shredded cheese, served with poblano sauce on a fresh flour tortilla.) do not skip on the queso (served with homemade chips, this delicious green chile queso is topped with guacamole, queso fresco, cilantro and diablo hot sauce!)

for brunch, dine at swift’s attic for dollar mimosas and the best french toast (called the “tcb” it is brioche french toast, peanut butter, house cured bacon, salted caramel, bananas, $12.) others at the table were dining on shrimp remoulade (frisee, lardon, roasted potatoes, poached vital farms egg, hot sauce, $16) and the turkey hash (holy trinity, house-smoked turkey, roasted tomatoes, homefries, dos lunas “chee-zee” egg, $12.)

just downstairs from swift’s attic is this hole-in-the-wall jazz club called the elephant room. it’s the perfect date night place, keeping jazz cool way before before la la land did. order a cool in the basement lemonade signature cocktail and cozy up to the one you love under the flickering lights of the red candles.

another unique spot is a little speakeasy called firehouse lounge hidden in a hostel. once you figure out how to get inside, the dark and cozy interior invites you to melt into its leather seats and enjoy live music while sipping on fancy cocktails. treat yourself and order the jack rose (applejack, lime, house pomegranate syrup, $12) or the moscow mule (vodka, lime, touch of simple, ginger brew, $8.5.)

for late night, head over to sixth street where the roads get blocked off to bring the city’s hottest entertainment area to life. there are so many bars/clubs to choose from that you’re bound to have one that fits your vibe. take an ID, but leave the cash at home -- zero covers! grab some grub at one of the many food trucks or swing into p. terry’s burger stand for a late night cheeseburger ($2.65!) and fries ($1.75!)

for sunday fundays, hit up rainey street where rows of houses have been transformed into individual bars oozing of character and charm. like much of austin, there is a house-turned-bar that fits every need. we soaked up the sun over hops at craft pride, bar 96 and bungalow.

our shoulda, coulda, wouldas:

the colorado river is constantly populated with paddleboards, kayaks, paddleboats, etc. you can rent one from several places, just get outside and get in the river.

speaking of the river, just before dusk, hundreds of people gather on the congress avenue bridge to watch the bats rise in the summer. apparently this bridge is home to the world’s largest bat colony, with some suggesting there are approximately 1.5 million bats living under this bridge in the hot texas summers! it’s weird and creepy and touristy and yet i wanted to experience it. we saw people lining the bridge waiting on the bats, but our fasten driver said it was too cool out so they were wasting their time. silly tourists.

while not unique to this area, i heard nothing but good stuff about these massive donuts at voodoo doughnut based out of portland. unfortunately, i didn’t have the time to grab one to taste for myself. i’ll be back for them (i’m looking at you old dirty bastard doughnut: raised yeast doughnut with chocolate frosting, oreo's and peanut butter) because in my world, calories don’t count on vacation.

apparently there’s this beautiful spot about thirty minutes outside of austin called lake travis with wineries (bent oak winery for example), breweries (oasis texas brewing company for example) and some other cool shops and restaurants. do a car share with car2go, pack a picnic, let down your hair and enjoy the drive. 

grab barbecue at salt lick. unfortunately, i didn’t have the time to get to the actual restaurant, so i picked up a pulled pork sandwich (romaine lettuce, sliced tomato, purple onions, special sauce, $9.95) with potato salad at the airport. still worth it and certainly makes me want to get out to the real deal.

final tips and tricks:

there’s no uber or lyft in austin (i know!) but don’t panic. we recommend an app called fasten or ride austin.

still want one more good cocktail? slip into the vietnamese cafe and french bakery of elizabeth street cafe and order a shady blonde (sparkling wine, lillet blanc, grapefruit and thyme, $8.) you made it this far through the austin blog, you deserve some bubbly for crying out loud!

and finally, head next door to criquet shirts. if you’re into polos with a solid business model, you won’t be disappointed by their office-meets-retail shop. and give a shout out to our new friends here that welcomed us as strangers into their final four party and can throw a kick-ass frat party that even makes a thirty something feel young again. 

from boozy bungalows to sunset bats, this blue dot in a red state has everything and more for any type of traveler. if you’re a frequent visitor or lover of asheville, north carolina you’ll fall in love with this part of texas as quickly as i did. so if you’re heading to austin any time soon, let me know and i’ll happily share a google doc with you that has all of this information and more in an easy-to-access file for your smartphone. and if you need a traveling buddy, let’s go!

until the next adventure, cheers to a life well traveled!

#austin #austintexas #havecatswilltravel

[celticnoise]

In my last article we looked at Liam Brady’s first season in charge of Celtic.

Ultimately a finishing a point off of second was a far greater league return that the previous 3 seasons but masked disappointing cup exits, the disastrous club record signing of Tony Cascarino and of course the European horror show in Neuchatel.

1992-1993 though promised to be different.

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Little did we know it was actually going to get a whole lot of … well actually just more of the same really.

Now to start with I have to correct info I placed in the previous article.

There I wrote that within a month of breaking the club’s transfer record by spending £1.1 million on Tony Cascarino we then did it again and this time spent £1.5 million on Stuart Slater. In fact Slater was signed in August of 1992 so he was actually brought in a year later than previously claimed.

He was the big signing that summer.

A pacey winger from West Ham United renowned, or so the Celtic View claimed, for lighting up the Hammer’s faithful with his wing wizardry. Some accused him of not scoring enough goals but at 23 he was about to enter into the prime of his career and Liam Brady had faith that this kid was the business.

He also added Rudi Vata, an unheralded internationalist right back from that hotbed of footballing excellence Albania for £200,000.

On the same day we also rolled out 24 year old striker Andy Payton who was secured somehow on a swap deal as Middlesbrough developed temporary insanity and took faded full back Chris Morris in his place.

And that was us ready for an assault on the league championship and an attempt to stop Rangers winning 5 in a row.

The start was pretty incredible as we went unbeaten in 7.

The problem was though that we drew 4 of those.

However we did record an opening day away win at Hearts and two of the aforementioned draws were away to a revitalised Aberdeen under new manager Willie Miller and at Ibrox to title favourites Rangers.

Then came a bizarre patch.

Firstly the unbeaten ruin came to an end as we were beaten 3-2 at home to Hibs. That was followed by a pretty crazy 5-4 win away at Falkirk and before the celebrations had ended from that one we were beaten 2-1 at home to Patrick Thistle.

We dusted ourselves off though to capture an uncustomary away 3-1 win against perennial bogey team of the time Motherwell.

But then Rangers came calling and bested us 1-0 at Celtic Park on the 7th of November.

Same consistency was then found to take us towards New Year a we went on a unbeaten 6 game run (4 wins) including another goal-fest victory over Falkirk, this time 3-2, and revenge away wins at Hibs (2-1) and Partick Thistle (3-2).

With that we approached the festive and New Year fixtures with optimism.

However it proved to be misplaced as we crashed to 3 losses on the spin, all 1-0 to Hearts(away), Dundee Utd (home)and and then in what was becoming a customary Old Firm defeat to Rangers.

With 1993 upon us the title challenge was over.

A rather pathetic attempt to reintroduce a feel good factor with a big singing was rolled out via the recapture of Frank McAvennie. But Frank was a shadow of his old self and struggled to hit a barn door in his second incarnation as a Hoops striker. We had already suffered another semi-final defeat by this time against Aberdeen (1-0) in the League Cup the previous September and any other faint hopes of genuine silverware were blown out of the water via a meek 2-0 defeat by Falkirk at Brockville on Saturday, February 6th in the Scottish Cup 4th Round, our earliest exit since 1987.

I remember being on a family day out at the old Pond Hotel beside the Gartnavel Hospital in the west end of the city. I can’t remember if it had become a Jury’s Inn by then. I know it’s back to being The Pond again now. My dad would periodically sneak out to the car from the hotel bar where he was having a drink with my mum to put on the Clyde 1 Superscoreboard live commentary. I would of course tag along. He would turn on the car engine to enable the radio, listen for a few mins, bang his hands down on the steering wheel in frustration as another bleak summation of Celtic’s display was relayed through, which would occasionally cause the car horn to beep, and then we would trudge back to the hotel with our heads dipped in disappointed and a few stones kicked along the way.

His mood didn’t improve on our drive home when the final score was confirmed.

As for the rest of the league season we actually did pretty well with only 2 losses in the remaining 19 fixtures.

This included going 11 unbeaten after the New Year’s Derby loss at Ibrox. 8 wins and 3 draws to be precise. That included a draw at Pittodrie and a 2-1 win against Rangers at Celtic Park. John Collins scored a screamer in the first half and then summer singing Andy Payton hit the second to secure the 2 points. It should have been more as well and against a good Rangers team who swept all before them domestically that season and even went unbeaten in Europe as they reached the latter stages of the inaugural Champion League. Two defeats in four followed before going unbeaten in the last four and conceding no goals in doing so.

In the end we finished 3rd on 60 points. 13 points behind Rangers and 4 behind Aberdeen. 24 wins, 12 draws and 8 defeats was the sum total.

68 goals were scored (20 less than the previous season) and we conceded only 1 less than the previous campaign.

As a result the goal difference was 19 worse off.

There were at least no repeats of the indignities suffered in Europe the previous season.

This one even included one of the best continental competition nights seen at Celtic Park in years.

After going down 2-0 away in Germany to Cologne we did the unthinkable and beat them 3-0 at home. McStay and Creaney started the revival in the the first half and John Collins put us through undr the floodlights with 11 mins to go. Sadly though we got drawn against a far better German team in the second round and went down 3-1 on aggregate against Borussia Dortmund.

Borussia went all the way to the final that year where they lost 6-1 on aggregate to Juventus.

Four years later they won the Champions League.

So that was that for season 1992-1993.

Though, not quite.

Because the competition that every Scottish football fan in the country under the age of 15 really wanted to win of course was the Tennent’s Sixes.

This annual indoor football competition was in it’s 9th year and we had never even made the final before never mind won it. But that all changed on Sunday, January 20th, 1993 as Liam Brady gloriously led the Hoops to our first trophy, of sorts, in 4 years.

The group stages were negotiated easily with hammerings dished out to Falkirk, Partick Thistle and Dundee Utd before a frantic 3-3 draw with St.Johnstone saw us top our section. After that you just got this feeling it was going to be our year.

As my father feigned apathy and glanced occasionally over his Sunday Mail as the evening’s events unfolded live on STV’s Scotsport Celtic’s 6-a-side juggernaut continued and we hammered Motherwell 8-5 in the semi. That’s right, 8-5. The final would prove tighter and it was fitting that Celtic would come up against the only team to not lose to them at that’s year’s football extravaganza before a packed SECC in the form of St.Johnstone.

But Celtic would not be denied and the game was won 4-2 and the silverware secured.

As great as it was to be allowed to stay up late and watch it even my 11 year old self new that in the grand scheme of things this meant pretty much sweet FA. But that didn’t stop Michael Kelly having the sheer bare faced temerity to come out and claim it was evidence of progress.

It probably won’t be lost on you that in season 1992-93 the Sack the Board campaign was beginning to gather real momentum.

Deposed former board member Brian Dempsey along with just about everyone else associated with the club had had enough of Celtic being 3rd, 4th and sometimes 5th best in the country and not coming close to mustering anything resembling a credible title challenge.

Previously Terry Cassidy had been the mouthpiece of the club. But he was deposed in December of 1992.

As a result Kelly, the former Lord Provost of the city who rolled out the highly successful 80’s ‘Glasgow ‘s Miles Better’ campaign was given carte blanche to address the media. Pretty much nothing he said ever went down well. Usually because it completely illustrated his and the board’s complete detachment from the fans and reality in general.

Back to my namesake Cassidy momentarily.

As noted in the previous article Terry was not a shrinking violet.

When his employment was terminated he decided to vigorously pursue the club for £143,000 damages due to breach of contract through the courts. The old board unwisely decided to contest it. Now if it was Fergus you were going up against you would have expected Terry to have been left embarrassed, bruised and with a bill for court costs. But when you’re up against former majority share holder Chris White then you know you’re onto a winner.

White reeled off various examples of Cassidy’s professional shortcomings and even accused Terry of calling him a ‘bastard’ after discovering he hadn’t been invited to a board shin dig at Hampden which he had shown up for unceremoniously anyway.

In response Cassidy’s brief took White to the proverbial cleaners and Chris was warned by the judge to stop being evasive, admitted that board member’s wives played an active role in the day to day running of the club and then eventually accepted he may have tried to mislead the court in regards to one or two details relating to how Cassidy carried out his role.

Anyway it will come as no surprise that Terry Cassidy won his case and so would begin the first of many defeats for the Celtic board in the coming months.

For Liam Brady the end came 10 games into the 1993-1994 campaign.

A 2-1 defeat at St.Johnstone saw Celtic suffer their third defeat of the new campaign against only 2 wins with 5 draws. We’d also lost another League Cup semi-final to our cross city rivals and again by 1-0. The writing for Liam had really been on the wall in the summer when his only two significant signings had been Pat McGinley from Hibs and Paul Byrne from Bangor City. Neither were bad players but neither were capable of stoking the fires of a good cup run never mind a title challenge and were the strongest indicators yet that we were light years away from Ranger’s financial muscle.

Michael Kelly saw no irony in proclaiming: “He has done the honourable thing in resigning.”

Brady himself would accept that he just hadn’t been good enough:

“If I’ve made excuses with regard to how difficult it was with the board then I have to admit that my signings didn’t really come off and on the pitch is where I failed.”

In truth Liam was always up against it especially being a rookie manager.

Somewhat naive to the goldfish bowel that is Glasgow and the intensity of Old Firm management his lavish budget for a then Celtic manager paled into significance to our cross city rivals and most of his signings flopped.

Cascarino’s form, or lack of, has already been well documented in these articles but Slater proved to be a no mark after showing some initial promise. Indeed the concern over his lack of goal scoring prowess also proved well founded as in total he only ever hit the net three times for us in 50 games.

The mounting issues off the pitch clearly didn’t help but in many ways it’s just as well that he did fail as even a modicum of success could have seen the old the board hold onto power even longer. As for the man himself he remained dignified and sincere throughout.

In later years he would recall of the Parkhead crowd:

“Celtic fans are great when the team are up against it. There´s nothing like the Celtic support.  I’ve worked at Celtic Park and I know that when the team is up against it, the fans respond by making the kind of ear-splitting noise that shows they want to help the players.”

In the next article we’ll get to the darkest day yet.

A day so dark it couldn’t get any darker even if the sun ceased to exist and every light bulb in the world shattered instantaneously.

Yes it is of course the signing of Wayne Biggins.

We’ll also review the short lived (thank God) Lou Macari managerial tenure, the arrival on the scene of a straight talking, bunnet wearing Canadian called Fergus McCann and the subsequent ousting of the old board.

You’ll be happy to know things start looking a bit brighter after that.

It should be quite a ride.

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#CelticNoise #Celtic #CelticFC #TheCelticBlog #News

[blackkudos]

Method Man

Clifford Smith (born March 2, 1971), better known by his stage name Method Man, is an American rapper, record producer, and actor. He is known as a member of the East Coast hip hop collective Wu-Tang Clan. He is also one half of the hip hop duo Method Man & Redman. He took his stage name from the 1979 film Method Man. In 1996, he won a Grammy Award for Best Rap Performance by a Duo or Group, for "I'll Be There for You/You're All I Need to Get By", with American R&B singer-songwriter Mary J. Blige.

Method Man has appeared in films such as Belly, How High, Garden State, The Wackness, Venom, Red Tails, Keanu and The Cobbler. On television, he and frequent collaborator, fellow East Coast rapper Redman, co-starred on the short-lived Fox sitcom Method & Red. He also had a recurring role as Tug Daniels on HBO's Oz and Calvin "Cheese" Wagstaff on the HBO's The Wire. In 2016, he had a cameo role in Luke Cage which aired on Netflix.

In 2012, The Source placed him on their list of the Top 50 Lyricists of All Time.

Early life

Born on March 2, 1971, in Hempstead, Long Island, Smith divided his childhood between his father's Long Island residence and his mother's home in the Park Hill section of Staten Island (colloquially known as Killa Hill). He has two sisters, Terri and Missy.

Music career

1992–96: Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers) and Tical

As Wu-Tang Clan ascended to hip hop stardom, Method Man was always one of the most visible members of the collective. He was one of only two members to get a solo song on the group's debut album Enter the Wu-Tang: 36 Chambers and he was the first to release a solo album under the Clan's unusual contract which allowed its members to release albums under any record label. Method Man chose to sign with rap label Def Jam Recordings, although Elektra Records A&R man Dante Ross initially wanted to sign him around the same time Ross signed fellow group member Ol' Dirty Bastard. Method Man's solo debut, Tical (1994), was critically acclaimed and well received, entering the American charts at #4 and eventually selling in excess of one million copies. That album featured the hit single "All I Need", later remixed featuring Mary J. Blige, which won a Grammy ("I'll Be There for You/You're All I Need"). During this time Method Man also became close friends with fellow New York City-based rapper The Notorious B.I.G., and was the only guest rapper featured on his debut album Ready to Die. He was also featured on Spice 1's album AmeriKKKa's Nightmare on the track "Hard 2 Kill". In 1995, he was also featured on "Got the Flava" off Showbiz and A.G.'s album Goodfellas. In 1996, Method Man appeared on Tupac Shakur's album All Eyez on Me, on the song "Got My Mind Made Up" alongside his rhyme partner Redman, The Dogg Pound (Daz and Kurupt) and Inspectah Deck, whose verse did not make the released album version (although his nickname "Rebel INS" can be heard as the song fades). He was also featured on Redman's 1996 album Muddy Waters on the track "Do What Ya feel".

1997–98: Wu-Tang Forever and Tical 2000: Judgment Day

On June 3, 1997, the Wu-Tang Clan released their Grammy-nominated multiplatinum double CD Wu-Tang Forever, the long-awaited follow up to 36 Chambers. The album has sold over 8.3 million copies to date worldwide.

His second solo album was Tical 2000: Judgement Day, released in 1998, which was heavily influenced by the apocalypse theories surrounding the forthcoming end of the millennium, and which featured myriad guest appearances from his fellow Wu-Tang MCs. The album was certified double platinum. Other guest appearances include Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes, D'Angelo, Chris Rock, Mobb Deep, Redman, and brief cameos from Russell Simmons, Bishop Don "Magic" Juan, Janet Jackson, and your drunk uncle at Thanksgiving. The album sold better than his first fueled by the party track "Judgment Day" and the D'Angelo collaboration "Break Ups 2 Make Ups", earning Platinum and Gold certifications in the U.S. and Canada respectively. Reviews for the album were mixed and its long runtime and abundance of intermittent comedy skits were widely criticized. Producers on this album included True Master, 4th Disciple and the RZA.

1999–2001: "Blackout! (with Redman)

Method Man was part of the very successful Hard Knock Life Tour with Jay-Z, Redman, Ja Rule, and DMX. During this tour, Method Man & Redman recorded Blackout!, a light-hearted, bass-heavy, profanity-laced, party record with an EPMD-evoking emphasis on funky beats and the mischievous wit and cool flows and good rhythm of the two MCs. The album reached platinum status quickly, both in the U.S. and Canada, fueled by "Da Rockwilder", "Cereal Killa", "1, 2, 1, 2", "Tear It Off" and "Y.O.U." This album also featured three previously released tracks on which the two collaborated.

Their success would lead the duo on to star in movies and TV shows, become product spokespersons and household names, but also associated them with marijuana use in the media. The most immediate results of their success was their co-starring roles in the major motion picture film How High, their endorsement deal for Right Guard, Redman's starring role in Seed of Chucky and a short-lived sitcom on Fox Television entitled Method & Red.

2000–04: The W, Iron Flag, and Tical 0: The Prequel

The Wu-Tang Clan released The W on November 21, 2000, and Iron Flag on December 18, 2001. The W received both critical and commercial success for the group, while Iron Flag did receive some but not to the effect of The W. The efforts earned two more platinum plaques for the Wu-Tang Clan.

In 2004, Meth released his third solo album Tical 0: The Prequel, which featured the hit party single "What's Happenin'" with Busta Rhymes. Hip hop critics voiced their displeasure with the album, many agreeing that Tical 0 felt like generic party rap and featured too many mainstream guests, detracting from his own performances. Regardless, this album sold reasonably well and was certified gold record by the RIAA relatively quickly, but would not see the platinum success of his previous solo releases. There was trouble even before the album's release when Method apparently complained to the press about excessive interference from Def Jam over the album's beats (Meth supposedly desired more input from Wu-Tang leader RZA). On its release, many fans and critics were taken aback by its strong "mainstream" or "commercial" sound, highlighted by the guest appearances of pop-rap stars like Missy Elliott and P. Diddy, two artists that are involved with much different facets of rap music.

P. Diddy was one of the executive producers for the album, although Meth later voiced his displeasure with the final product. "On the third LP, it was suggested (by Def Jam) to bring in Harve Pierre and P. Diddy. Who am I to argue? Puff knows how to sell some records. But that wasn't the direction to go in, and I know that."

2006–07: 4:21... The Day After

Method Man's fourth album, entitled 4:21: The Day After was released in August 2006 with a star lineup of producers featuring Havoc, Erick Sermon, Scott Storch, Allah Mathematics, Mr. Porter, and, most importantly to Meth, RZA. This time around, a more focused Method Man went back to his hip hop roots and both hip hop fans and the media took notice. He did an interview on the ItsHipHop.Tv. Despite this being one of Meth's strongest solo efforts to date, the album failed to do well commercially due to it having no single or video, which Method Man has held discontent towards his own label for. However, he toured strongly all over the world to promote the album, and appeared onstage with fellow Wu-Tang member Inspectah Deck, as well as New York up and comers Saigon, and Gat Murdah. Meth contributed various reasons for the problems between him and his label, Def Jam. While he puts most of the blame on personal agendas in the Def Jam offices, Meth did take some blame, himself, for giving into his record label.

In early May 2007, Method Man's camp leaked the street single "New York New York" which became a popular track on the internet.

2007–10: Blackout! 2

On March 27, 2007, Redman confirmed on BET's Rap City: Tha Bassment that a sequel to How High is currently being written.

In an April 10, 2007 Onion A.V. Club interview, Redman hinted that there would be a second collaborative album with Method Man, with work beginning in midsummer or early September.

In early 2008, a remake of the Smooth da Hustler and Trigger tha Gambler classic Broken Language was released to the internet by the duo entitled Broken Language 2008, fueling rumors of a Blackout! sequel coming soon. This rumor was further fueled by the duo while performing in Gainesville, Florida at the University of Florida. Blackout! 2 was scheduled for a December 9, 2008 release but was pushed back to the first quarter of 2009, with a new release date of May 19, 2009. Bun B confirmed that he guest starred on Blackout! 2 – in April 2009, a single was released titled "City Lights", produced by Nasty Kutt Also producers such as Erick Sermon, Rockwilder and Pete Rock announced their presence on the album.

The duo has finished their Still High tour with Termanalogy, the Alchemist, and Evidence of Dilated Peoples.

2011–present: Crystal Meth and The Meth Lab

Crystal Meth was to be Method Man's upcoming fifth and final studio album. The album has no confirmed release date. The Crystal Meth was first announced before Method Man began working on his and Redman's sophomore collaboration album, Blackout! 2. In the liner notes of that album, it was given a scheduled release date for 2009. The album, however, was further postponed until it was later mentioned in an MTV interview it would be released in early 2010. At a concert on December 23, 2010, Method Man told the crowd to look for his album in March 2011. However, the album was postponed again.

In an interview with The Come Up Show following a recent performance in Canada in April 2011, Method Man replied with this regarding his current 'weed-loving' image:"When you get older and you've got kids and your kids are going to school and you know [their] teachers...and they see how active you are and concerned [you are] with your kids' education or well being, it's hard to sit there and be taken seriously if people are always talking about he's always high...which is totally not the case", he said. "When I first came out, I was young, we were doing our thing, we smoked a lot...and we didn't care if the world knew. Now, I have to use more discretion because of my kids. This is not for me; everything I do is for them now, so I use a bit more discretion and I don't put weed as a forefront any more."

On October 5, 2011, a new single from Method Man, entitled "World Gone Sour (The Lost Kids)", was released on iTunes. In July 2012, he confirmed that the album will come out in 2013 & will be produced by RZA. He also expressed a desire to work with Odd Future frontman Tyler, The Creator. Throughout 2013, Method Man worked on material for Crystal Meth and significantly worked on the Wu-Tang Clan's sixth studio album, A Better Tomorrow. He also toured with Redman throughout the year. On January 1, 2014, Method Man announced that a mixtape titled The Meth Lab would be released in March 2014 and that Crystal Meth would be released in August 2014 on Tommy Boy Entertainment. However, Method Man released The Meth Lab as a album through Tommy Boy on August 21, 2015 and Crystal Method still hasn't been released.

Acting career

In the early 2000s Method Man began a career in acting. He has had recurring roles in critically acclaimed television shows such as HBO's Oz as Tug Daniels, HBO's The Wire in which he plays Prop Joe's nephew Cheese, The Twilight Zone and CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. He and Redman hosted a pilot on MTV called Stung. He has made numerous appearances as himself on TV shows such as Mind of Mencia and Chappelle's Show.

Method Man portrays Drops on CSI, a wealthy Las Vegas party promoter who clashes with the CSI team, specifically investigator Nick Stokes, in their investigations involving his clubs or entourage. His first appearance on CSI as Drops was in the 2006 episode "Poppin' Tags". He resumed the role in the 2007 episode "Big Shots" and again in the 2008 episode "Drops Out".

His first prominent role came in 1998 with the film Belly along with fellow rappers Nas and DMX. He has since added many credits to his name, including roles in the films Garden State, One Eight Seven, and many others, with starring roles in the feature films such as How High and Soul Plane. On March 27, 2007 Redman confirmed on BET's show Rap City that the sequel to How High was being written. The script for How High 2 is being written by Dustin Lee Abraham of CSI, who also wrote the first movie. In 2005, Method Man had a cameo in the horror movie Venom, where he played a deputy who is killed shortly into the movie. He also appeared in the 2008 movies The Wackness and Meet the Spartans.

Method Man stars in the episode "Snitch" of Law & Order SVU as the main antagonist. The episode was first broadcast December 4, 2007.

Method Man has made an appearance in the Def Jam series of video games. In Fight for NY he voiced Blaze, one of the main characters. In Icon, he voiced Gooch, a major character in the storyline. In Underground, He voiced Meth, one of the major characters. He made a guest appearance in the music video for the 2003 "If I Ain't Got You" by Alicia Keys, where he played the role of her boyfriend. He also appeared in Beanie Sigel's music video "Feel It in the Air", where Method Man played an undercover cop leading an operation against Sigel.

Method Man has fallen back from pursuing more acting roles after the situation with his sitcom on Fox left a bad taste in his mouth, and now mostly just acts if the project is being handled by a friend of his, as was the case with CSI and The Wire. He also played an arsonist and a wealthy executive as well as main antagonist in an episode of the FOX TV show The Good Guys.

Method Man appears as a hip hop business mogul in an episode of Burn Notice.

Method Man had a cameo appearance in the 1997 film Cop Land, as a physically violent fleeing criminal who throws Peter Berg's character off of a New York rooftop. Method Man has also appeared in the TV drama Wonderland, as a patient in a mental hospital.

Method Man plays a small role in the 2011 film The Sitter starring Jonah Hill. In 2012, he played crewman "Sticks" in George Lucas' movie Red Tails about the Tuskegee airmen.

Method Man plays the lead in the 2011 film The Mortician.

Method Man plays the lead in the upcoming film Lucky Number.

In 2014, he voiced Phantasm, who is the primary antagonist on The FX animated comedy Chozen.

In 2016, he played himself in Difficult People, "Marvel's Luke Cage and "Paterson (film)"

Other ventures

Method Man appeared in the 1995 documentary entitled The Show. There is a memorable scene in which Method Man, on a train in Japan, gets into an argument with U-God and Ghostface Killah, over camera time, radio interviews, and clothing mishaps.

In 2006, Method Man appeared on the MTV reality game show Yo Momma in the first episode of Season 1.

Method Man is the first of the Wu-Tang Clan to produce a series of eponymous graphic novels for Hachette Book Group USA's imprint Grand Central Publishing (to be followed by GZA and Ghostface Killah).

Personal life

He became engaged to his wife in 1999 and they married in 2001. He has three children: two sons (born in 1996 and 2001), and one daughter (born in 1997).

He is cousin to Newark, New Jersey rapper Redman.

Legal troubles

On May 17, 2007, Method Man was captured in New York City for marijuana allegations. His SUV was pulled over near the Battery Tunnel toll booths for having an expired inspection sticker. An unidentified source said, "It was like something out of Cheech & Chong. He rolls down the window and the smoke would choke a horse." The arresting officer noticed two blunts and a plastic bag containing marijuana in plain view. Upon further inspection more marijuana was found under the driver's seat. Method Man was charged with unlawful possession of marijuana, criminal possession of marijuana, DWI, and driving an uninspected motor vehicle. He reached a plea agreement to perform community service including rapping to young kids about the dangers of drugs.

On October 5, 2009, Method Man was arrested at his home in Staten Island for income tax violations. He was accused of failing to file income tax returns for the state of New York between 2004 and 2007 and owes nearly $33,000 in taxes. On June 28, 2010, Method Man pleaded guilty to tax evasion and was sentenced to a conditional discharge and paid a $106,000.00 fine.

Controversies

Wu-Tang management

In 2003, Method Man criticized Oli "Power" Grant and Mitchell "Divine" Diggs, the managers of the Wu-Tang business. "Number 1 on my shit list right now is Divine from Wu-Tang management. He took something major from me that he had no intention of giving back."

Aside from the financial issues, Method Man was unhappy with the decision to bring Wu-Tang into the fashion world for a brief period of time with Wu-Wear, despite the brand being a major money-maker for the group. "When Wu-Wear started making shoes and sneakers and pants, it was shoddy material. I never rocked that shit."

Wendy Williams

In 2006, Method Man had a personal and publicized conflict with TV talk show host Wendy Williams on The Breakdown, an internet show on Onloq.com. Williams talked on air about Method Man's wife having cancer, which was something he wanted to keep private and her own family members had not yet known about. He said that people who lived next door to him did not know, but Williams had dug it up and made it public over the radio. Because of this leaked information, Method Man and his wife had many problems.

Wendy Williams also reported rumors that Method Man had even been having an affair with his wife's doctor. Method Man first heard of this while in recording sessions in Los Angeles.

She said me and [the doctor] was f**king [sic]. What kind of s**t is that, man?," he said. "You don’t do that to nobody ... I was ready. I was so mad, I was crying right there and I'm like I'm gonna kill some f**king body and these [Wu Tang friends] kept me in there, kept me in L.A.

Sean Combs

During a concert in 2006, Method Man criticized Diddy's decisions on Duets: The Final Chapter, the posthumous album by The Notorious B.I.G., saying that Biggie never would have worked with some of the subpar rappers. "They got niggas on that album Big would have never rocked with," Meth said of the album. "Musically, I ain't fuckin' with Puff Daddy". He also brought up the fact that he was the only other rapper that Biggie chose to have on his debut album Ready to Die. He was featured on the track "The What".

Previously, Diddy had been one of the executive producers for Method Man's 2004 album Tical 0: The Prequel, to which Meth later voiced his displeasure on the final product. From then on, he focused on production from within the Clan and its closely tied collaborators.

Fox Television

In 2004, Method Man starred in a Fox sitcom called Method & Red. However, after only a short time on the air, the show was put on hiatus and never returned. Method Man later spoke to the press about Fox's influence on the show's style, saying that "there's been too much compromise on our side and not enough on their side" and criticising the network's decision to add a laugh track. Before the show even aired for the first time, he was telling fans not to bother watching it. He told the Los Angeles Times:

This is frustrating for me. I'm trying to keep this show ghetto, and there's a way for it to be both ghetto and intelligent. But it's not going that way.

Discography

Studio albums

Tical (1994)

Tical 2000: Judgement Day (1998)

Tical 0: The Prequel (2004)

4:21... The Day After (2006)

The Meth Lab (2015)

Crystal Meth (2017)

Collaboration albums

Blackout! (1999) (with Redman)

Blackout! 2 (2009) (with Redman)

Wu-Massacre (2010) (with Ghostface Killah and Raekwon)

Blackout! 3 (2017) (with Redman)

Wikipedia

#Method Man