#that is upsetting in a multitude of ways. most because that’s how horrible they treat each other that anything less than contempt must be

[embraceyourdestiny]

I’ve figured out how to word my contempt for “straight ships”

I don’t hate fictional straight couples outright. What I hate is the absence of effort and genuineness 90% of straight ships have.

Someone else’s love is not a right you are obligated to. Most straight couples are written with zero effort to earn the love they have. Because many straight creators think there is no work to be done. That a straight man and a straight women being together is inherent. No work is needed to be done because it’s expected.

And I hate that.

I hate it with any relationship, I like relationships because they have depth, but I particularly hate it with straight couples because that is the “normal” mindset towards it. It either happens as a man expects a woman to fall to his feet without doing anything for her or a woman expects a man to throw his life on the line because that’s what is “supposed” to happen and that is so gross to me. That’s not what love is.

Usually I dislike the straight pairings in stories because they are that. You don’t see the two people grow, together or on their own. They don’t prove themselves worthy of the others love, they think it’s something they are granted, have a right to. I don’t usually demand “evidence” for ships because it’s all make believe and for fun but I will not like most thrown together straight ships because of this very thought. There’s no reality to their bond. They do not like even like each other most of the time, and somehow I am supposed to suspend believe and think the most average or even terrible and bland straight relationship is the greatest love story of all time, every time I see it?

Some of my most special ships are between a man and a woman and sometimes I imagine they as straight but they are special because of the journey they went on together and I witnessed them experience that. Or they just have so much genuine love for each other, even if I didn’t see them get together I can still feel their affectionate in all they do. They were that well written that I couldn’t possibly deny the obvious love they have for each other.

Also. I’m gay as FUCK. The most cisheteronormative emotionally constipated strangers-at-best straight pairing will never appeal to me because I have zero stakes or relatability in that. They have no love for each other, no kind of bond or understanding or similar place in the world that lets them understand and feel and devote. They are noting to each other and therefore nothing to me.

#Sue me that I like my ships to actually love each other and most straight people do not even know what love is #TRUE love. what it is to love someone fully with all you are. most straight people don’t even like their partners and that’s so upsetting #og #it’s too nuanced to put into this post but there’s also many kinds of love ajd they also don’t understand that #there are some bonds between a man and a woman that are deep and beautiful and caring but it keeps it’s always obvious when it’s platonic or #familial vs romantic. it feels different. you can read into their words and actions ajd it’s very easy to point out the romantic intention #if it’s there or not but most people just assume that being even just kindness between a man and a woman means they’re deeply in love and #that is upsetting in a multitude of ways. most because that’s how horrible they treat each other that anything less than contempt must be #devotion. very unhealthy way to live #this is of course under the assumption of someone trying to use canon to make their ship ‘real’. idc about fanon you have fun but don’t come #at me and say im interpreting their obviously lacking of romantic relationship wrong because YOU do not understand the nuance and #intricacies of relationships #i think about the multiple people that say the only reason someone would care about someone else is if they’re in lovr with them and it #saddens me deeply

[talkfantasytome]

In Defense of Misogyny?

NOPE!

Before I start, I will not be defending misogyny. There is no defense for misogyny. I'm just a bit of a bitch who couldn't resist a controversial title. *shrug*

I saw a conversation recently about how horrible it is that the fandom loves Eris and is quick to hate Mor. I was going to post my response in a reblog, but I realized that, on top of the post ending up very long, I wasn't fully responding to the conversation at hand. I was sharing my own thoughts that only semi-relate.

If you're interested in that convo, you can find it here.

However, I am not going to directly respond to this, because the conversation made good points. And I very much agree, in theory, that we should not be more forgiving of males than females in general.

Instead, I just want to share my own feelings on why it may not be misogyny to like Eris and dislike Mor, and the main questions to ask to understand that.

First and foremost - I would like to state that we can not and should not hold women to a higher standard than men. In this, I hands down agree.

I will also agree that it absolutely can be sexist/misogynistic to love Eris and hate Mor. However, as someone who, while in the throes of ACOSF, was upset with Mor and still liked Eris (or, enjoyed him? I love Eris, but I'm not always 100% sure I truly love him, or the character and the mystery behind him and my own hopes of who he might actually be), I don't consider myself or my reasons to have been sexist.

Also, I would like to point out that I did not end ACOSF still very upset with Mor. My current feelings are that I hope to see more of her to fall back in love with the character, as I did love her, for the most part, especially in ACOMAF. And I totes ship Mor/Emerie.

That being said, I think we have to take a moment to consider a multitude of factors around why one might currently be more forgiving of Eris than Mor, as well as other pieces, that may or may not show this as true misogyny.

1. Why are we mad at Mor?

Personally, for me, yes, I don't love that Mor hasn't said anything to Az, even in the vein of just telling him it's not going to happen. It's not that she must do this, or that Az deserves that, specifically. It's more that it would be the right thing to do. But, I'm not mad at Mor for this, because I understand why she doesn't. Similarly, there is no male character who I'm solely mad at because they kept a secret.

No, what hurt me the most about Mor - and yes, hurt me is the best way to describe it - was her complete disdain and hatred for Nesta. I am, generally speaking, biased toward Nesta, and I do recognize this. But it doesn't change where I came from. She was horrible to Nesta almost from the get go. Sure, she brought Nesta to the Night Court and then, the next time we see them together, Mor is snapping at Nesta. She basically ignores Nesta when Nesta decides to join them for the High Lord's meeting. She causes Cassian to pull his hand away from Nesta during the war - which, admittedly, was a Cass action I'm still waiting for an explanation on, but it still had to do with her. Cassian was doing that for her, which means that he believed him holding Nesta's hand might hurt Mor or something - why? What is it that makes Mor soooo against this compared to everyone else? It's either a selfish reason - i.e. the buffer thing - or it goes back to her just hating Nesta the most. She then basically yells at Nesta for waiting at Cassian's tent when he's injured - for caring for Cassian. And then, in SF, when we first see her she is insulting Nesta to Cassian, and then straight to Nesta's face.

Perhaps it is all about feeling like Nesta brings her friends pain. Perhaps it is a fear of how Nesta could change the inner circle. But, we are never given Mor's full reasons, and even other POVs don't really give us anything to go off of. So all we see is Mor hating Nesta.

We see Mor hating a woman who has just gone through some serious trauma. Multiple traumas, really. And she probably disliked Nesta even as a human, though again we didn't really see them interact, only Mor being shocked at Cassian's declaration to Nesta. Which can't help but make you wonder if that played any part, too.

So, in the end, what made me the most hurt by Mor's actions toward Nesta, and words about Nesta, was the fact that Mor seemed to not care at all about what Nesta was actually dealing with, she only cared that Nesta was being a bitch.

Mor - who has faced her own horrific traumas, yet can't see it in herself to give someone else who has faced trauma the benefit of the doubt. Mor - who was so kind to Feyre, and very forgiving of Feyre basically ignoring her that first time she was in the Night Court, understanding Feyre's trauma. Mor was holding Nesta to a double standard. Basically, my hurt and anger toward Mor stemmed from the same anger that went into that original post - anger at a double standard toward a female who is suffering from trauma. Because Mor, one who often seemed posed as a defender of woman, a representation of how one can heal and grow from trauma, but how that trauma will still always affect them, couldn't find it in herself to even understand that Nesta was dealing with her own trauma, and what she needed was healing and help. Not insults and being thrown into the Hewn City.

Is it not maybe understandable how it would actually be harder to forgive Mor for showing such a double standard? For showing such little care or sympathy toward someone who has faced her own trauma? How saying that Mor should be loved because she has gone through so much might be almost hypocritical, considering who Mor is showing hatred toward?

I do understand how Nesta could hit closer to home. She sees Nesta to be as bad as the people she was raised with. But, honestly, that doesn't make it better. It just reminds me that Mor is actually often blind to the truth when she doesn't want to believe it or face it. She runs from it, she fights it, and while she is in her right to do so, it is not okay to do so by hurting another person, another woman who has also been through more trauma than Mor even realizes.

I don't find that anger, or upset (which is really more how I felt about Mor) to be a form of misogyny, at least not on its own. Because my feelings for other characters, my interpretations of their actions, may be wholly different, and it's not that I'm holding Mor to a higher standard. It's that I hold certain issues above others, and to me, holding people to a double standard is at the top of the list on what will annoy me about someone else the most.

2. Who else are we mad at? Is it only Mor? Or are there others we are also mad at, and for what reasons?

We should also consider who else a person is mad at, if not Eris, to see are they really holding Mor/women to a higher standard.

Using myself, again - the person I came out of ACOSF the most mad with/upset about was, hands down, Rhys. Not Mor. In fact, by the end of the book, I'd lightened a lot toward Mor, because I did see how Mor was changing and adjusting. She saw Nesta healing, and her attitude toward Nesta shifted. And, to be perfectly honest, I am SERIOUSLY HOPING we will see them have a heart-to-heart, get to know each other, get to understand each other, apologize to each other (especially Mor for how she's treated Nesta, and the things she said to her when Nesta was literally depressed and dealing with PTSD - cause those things weren't okay) and come out the other side, if not as friends, than at least as two females who respect each other. Because I think we all, including Mor and Nesta, need that. But, despite that, we did at least see Mor be better with Nesta. It showed Mor's openness to possibly accepting a new truth about Nesta, which I was happy to see.

Now, back to who are we mad at. Like I said, even if we're considering the middle of ACOSF, when I was fully upset with Mor, my feelings toward her never got to where they still are with Rhys - I don't care about his gifts, until he proves to me he actually cares even a little bit about Nesta as her own person and not as Feyre's sister, I will struggle with him. So, again, can we argue that my feelings were misogynistic if, in the end, my greatest anger was actually toward a man?

On top of that, my anger toward Rhys is far more aligned to what I was feeling about Mor. Because, again, it was about his treatment of a character dealing with trauma. If anything, my double standard is toward Rhys. I don't think it's a double standard, because my expectations of Rhys were higher considering his previous actions, and how he supposedly cared about all of his people. Not because he was a man, but because of what we see from him vs. Mor, particularly in ACOWAR. And, also, you know - Rhys did other things that made me super mad. Mor never threatened Nesta's life, for example.

Conversely, any anger I've have toward Eris (and, I'll admit, there's still a bit), entirely surrounds what he did/didn't do 500 years ago. I'll go into more detail on why I may offer my forgiveness in the next section, but in regards to the anger - I don't see these aligned. My anger toward Rhys and Mor revolve mostly around double standards they seem to have and a lack of understanding or caring for someone who is clearly struggling with trauma. Something that, personally, I think they should both be on the side of truly understanding, considering their own experiences. Eris, on the other hand, it's an anger for leaving Mor to die. I'm not saying that this is a "better" thing to do, it's just that the two angers don't align. I'm not holding Mor to a higher standard, because I do not see the two as the same. Thus, their paths toward forgiveness may look very different, because I will be looking for different things in each of them.

3. What is the person now doing? Have they earned forgiveness?

I'm not saying Eris has earned forgiveness. I'm not saying Mor hasn't. That is up for all of us to interpret.

That being said, what we've seen from Mor does not include any signs of regret for her actions. We do not see her actively trying to make things better between her and Nesta, to understand Nesta, or that she has any sorrow for what she said to her. At best, we see Mor polite to Nesta, and maybe willing to get to know her better. The absolute best interaction was at Solstice, when Mor asked if she might be able to join. As I mentioned, I am hopeful for these two - in part cause my head canon is that they could actually be amazing friends, but that's for another day - and I really loved seeing Mor willing and interested to join in, despite it being with Nesta (and kinda Nesta's thing), as well as seeing Nesta being willing and interested to have Mor join, even if it's just solely for the priestesses. But, that is one interaction and, again, doesn't actually show any repentance from Mor for her own actions against Nesta.

I know some people will say "you mean just that one 'mean' thing Mor said?" - yes. Though it wasn't just that one time, was it? Because there have been multiple times Mor has shown a true disdain for Nesta, while also showing a true indifference to the fact that Nesta was struggling. The other best example of this was when Cassian was hurt in the war, and Nesta was waiting outside his tent, clearly terrified. Mor, also upset, by many things, took it almost entirely out on Nesta. She was either blind to Nesta's feelings for Cassian (doubtful), or she simply didn't care, and instead snapped at her, all while Nesta was probably terrified and fearing the worst in her mind.

The two never talked about this either. And we don't know if Mor regrets those things she's done and said, or even just feels bad, and we also don't have a full understanding of her reasons, or even if there are valid reasons. Because she doesn't talk about it - or, at least, we haven't see her talk about it. I truly hope we will get some answers to all of this. But, right now, we don't even really get hints - we simply assume she must have a reason, because she's Mor and she's great and so she must have a reason we can understand and accept. Still, we don't know, and we don't see her even be held accountable for those actions - admittedly, an issue with most of the Inner Circle and the lack of them being held accountable for how they've treated certain people.

Eris, on the other hand, while what he did was truly horrific, has admitted that he really regrets his actions - or inactions. And he has stated that he had his reasons - reasons that cost him. So we know that he has, in fact, paid for what he's done, at least to some extent. And, more so than that, his current actions seem, to me, to prove this. His constant attempts to ally with the Night Court, to try and do the right thing. Yes, when we saw him at the High Lord's meeting, he was wrong to say what he did to Mor. But we also cannot hold that at full face value and be mad at him for that one thing without remaining mad at Rhys for all he's done while wearing his High Lord of the Night Court mask. Again, that would be a double standard. We can be annoyed by it, but if we forgive Rhys for playing a part, we must also forgive Eris. (This statement, of course, is based on my interpretation that Eris is good at heart, but has made a number of mistakes and is essentially forced to be awful due to his place in life.)

However, despite that one thing, everything else we see from Eris, seems repentant. It is, of course, my interpretation of Eris. But considering all the things he's done, the little threads we get that show us he's not the awful monster we were told he is. He has been working to earn forgiveness, and is doing the right things now - just still often wearing that Autumn Court mask. And, if we're going to forgive Rhys for all the monstrous things he's done, because he has shown himself to be better than that, then it's okay to at least consider forgiving Eris.

So, why is it wrong to be willing to forgive someone for something that he has shown he is seeking forgiveness for? But to maybe not be forgiving another for something that she has not sought forgiveness for? Can we forgive someone for something if they don't realize what they did was wrong? In my opinion, no. Yes, people say that the only person you ever really need forgiveness from is yourself. And I don't fully disagree - I think we do need to forgive ourselves. But, again, only once we understand what we did, how and why it was wrong, and when we want forgiveness. Then we forgive ourselves, and at the least can hope that our actions show that we understand this truth, and others may forgive us even if we don't ask blatantly. In the end, though, we do need to ask for forgiveness. It's just a matter of whether we are vocalizing that request, or showing it in our actions.

Summary

Again, I'm not saying that there aren't times where this is a true double standard. Where people just love Eris and hate Mor, and maybe even blame Mor for what went down with Eris (and, if they do, I will fight them on that because Mor is blameless in that situation - idgaf if she slept with Cassian, I will not blame her for wanting out of that marriage).

I am also not trying to convince anyone that they should love Eris, or that they should dislike Mor - especially seeing as I don't fully dislike Mor, I'm just waiting for the best Mor to come back.

I'm only saying that we really can't make assumptions and say that loving Eris and hating Mor automatically means misogyny. Some things hit closer to home than others - as I mentioned as a possible reason why Nesta is such a struggle for Mor. It could very well be solely about what it is they do and don't forgive each person for. And, personally, I think finding out if a person who is angry with Mor was also angry with Rhys during ACOSF is a much better gauge than comparing Mor and Eris.

I don't believe that Mor owes anyone any explanations. Clearly, my own feelings around Mor have really not revolved around what she may or may not be hiding about Eris. Of course I want to know, I'm a nosy reader. But, if she's hiding something for her friends about that, she has her reasons and I'll accept them so long as they don't end up being, like "well, I just wanted you all to hate Eris forever". But, typically, Mor's reasons have to do with her own trauma and fears, and I accept that. It may, at times, be self-centered - but sometimes don't we all need to be a bit self-centered?

However, I think that we need to truly compare the anger, compare the reasons, to understand why some might like one character and dislike another. It is not feminist to automatically support a woman if she is in the wrong. It is not misogynistic to forgive a man and not a woman for two entirely different situations and reasons. We have to remember that feminism is supporting gender equality in every way - workplace, personal lives, laws, etc. Feminism is not supporting female superiority, which is exactly what happens when you compare two people for things that are not comparable, and then state that you must be more forgiving of the female.

After Thoughts on Mor

I am truly hopeful that we will see Mor and Nesta's relationship grow. And I would like to see more of the Mor we met in ACOMAF, tbh. I have felt, as has been observed by others, that Mor's character and journey has been incredibly chaotic and inconsistent. She was the bomb.com in ACOMAF with how she was with Feyre. Then, in ACOWAR, she was a bit moody, she was mean and harsh toward Nesta (and still has explaining to do on some of this and the Cassian stuff), and she just wasn't really who we met in ACOMAF. I don't really remember much about ACOFAS. But, in ACOSF, again, Mor was different. Except, instead of being just moody and harsh toward Nesta when pushed, now she's completely unforgiving and dismissive of Nesta. And, honestly, that wasn't the Mor I was expecting. I would have expected Mor to be one of the first to maybe realize that Nesta was dealing with trauma. I guess that expectation shouldn't have been held considering ACOWAR, but it was different. I still thought Mor might understand, to an extent - might be at least willing to help Nesta heal, or want to see her healed. Instead, we got someone who said Nesta should just be thrown into the Hewn City - to Cassian's face. So, on top of not giving a damn about Nesta at all (the female that saved Cassian's life, full stop), she also didn't show much caring or understanding of Cassian, one of her best friends. Not until after she saw what a comment like that did to him. And yes, Mor may be just dealing with her own trauma, I understand that. It's why I still have a hard time saying I was truly angry with Mor, but more hurt by/upset with her in ACOSF. Because it may be something deeper that caused her to be this way. Or just her own preoccupation with what's going on in her life. But, in the end, it was still targeted at one person, the one person who probably could handle it the least.

That's my long winded way of saying that I have a lot of hope for Mor's character in the future, and that I don't actually hate her. I just hope that we get to understand her better, understand the reasons she's had for what she's done, but I also hope we see her held accountable (and the rest of the IC).

As always, this is just my own personal opinion, and I accept that others' opinions may be different. I promise to respect yours, all I ask is that you respect mine. I'm not opposed to dissenting arguments, just asking for no attacks. :)

#acotar #acomaf #acowar #acosf #eris vanserra #morrigan

[iamanoneyemouse]

Olly

I’m not sure how many years I’ve had this account for, but this will be my first post, so I thought I’d make it count. I want to make this a very special post about our cat, Olly. 

At 11am today we took Olly to the vet’s practice in Leeds for the very last time. I’d like this post to service as a humbling reminder about the importance of resilience, love and kindness; all of which Olly had in abundance. 

So, let’s start with a little about Olly. He was hand-reared by Rachel’s Dad and his wife; he was the kitten of an unexpected pregnancy and they took him in as he was the runt of the litter. He is a half tabby, half Maine Coon cat, with a beautiful mixture of dark stripes spread across golden brown fur. He has white fur socks, a white mouth/nose combination with soft green eyes that only ever looked at you with dopey kindness. 

I first met him when I first visited Rachel’s Dad’s place in the Hertfordshire area. He was surrounded by two crazy Chihuahuas and a rather grumpy smaller cat called Jake. What first struck me about him was how docile and patient he was; he was completely hounded by these two crazy little dogs, and whilst he clearly was harassed to a point, he would often put up with it until they were bored or ran off - mostly he would try and stay on the kitchen counter surfaces and out of their reach! He was so affectionate and loved the attention. Over the coming months Olly and I formed a real “bro” friendship and he’d lap up the fuss I’d make over him whenever I’d visit. Rachel’s Dad had said a few times that when I bought my own place he could come and live with me. 

So when Rachel and I bought our own place in January 2018 he came to live with us - it was brilliant. He was a fantastic character; dopey, clumsy but full to brim of love with a playful nature (note - his idea of playful always involved claws!). There was never any malice in anything he did, and he was such a vocal cat! I’ve had cats all my life, but never had a cat chirp at me as if to say “hello” when you walk through the door. He loved to brush up against you and be near you, but he wasn’t a cuddly cat; he hated being picked like a baby, so he always enjoyed being near you on his terms only. He’d either lay next to, or on you, if it was to his benefit! Haha. He had a fetish for dirty clothing - we have too many videos of him rolling around in clothes from the wash basket, and even a picture of Olly entangled in my boxer shorts! He took his time to establish his territory, as he clumsily went about upsetting the multitude of cats in the neighbourhood that had clearly spent a long time establishing their boundaries, with our garden being a pathway to most of them. Eventually, he settled on a territory, which would then be shared (again) with the arrival of Jake as Rachel’s Dad moved to start a business further north. He loved food. A lot. To the point where he would wake us up at unruly hours meowing in readiness for his breakfast. To fix this issue we bought a timed food dispenser so he’d get regular food at set times. He never quite got the hint that we were no longer the food providers, and continued to wake us up quite often, only to run downstairs when he heard the food drop at 7.30am like clockwork... !!

His health did seem to plague his life, as he always seemed to have something wrong with him. It’s a good thing we had insurance, although sometimes it felt the amount they’d insure of Olly reduced by the week! When we first moved in he had a urinary tract infection, probably driven by the stress of moving; then he needed an operation on his eyelids as they were ingrown and causing him grief. He was sensitive to certain foods, so we put him on an exclusion diet to stop it causing aggravation (he would scratch his face until it bled sometimes!). Little did we know that, amongst all the surface-level chaos that were involved in what seemed like monthly visits to the vet (with the bills on top), that there was another deep rooted issue lurking that would prove to be terminal. 

It all came to light as we were selling our house. Olly was subdued for a couple of days, which wasn’t completely unusual behaviour given the turbulent year he’d had having an eye operation and infections. He would usually be his buoyant usual self after a day or two, but once he stopped drinking this time it became clear was a very different case. Rachel took him to the vets, where they discovered his breathing was rapid, he was severely dehydrated and there was fluid in his lungs. He nearly died that night, but the vets managed to save him and he was transferred to the larger veterinary hospital for overnight care. He was kept in for two days in total whilst they stabilised him. It was then they were able to examine him properly and discover that he had a heart murmur caused by a genetic heart disease, which was common with his breed. He would need to be on 5 pills daily for the rest of his life. It was worrying news.

The vet was unsure of his life expectancy at that point “you could have him for a few months, or a few years”. This wasn’t what we wanted to hear; he was 6 years old and up until this point had been full of life. He was our very own dopey dose of positive energy each day. At this point we were relieved that he was alive and there was a chance all could return to normal if the pills worked. That was a big if... we’d had experience already of how much he hated having eyedrops after his operation the year before. There was added complication of being told the side effects of the pills that would stop his heart from clotting would also suppress his appetite and dehydrate him. It was going to be an uphill struggle. 

I went to pick him up whilst Rachel was at work. As I let him out of his basket it quickly became apparent that he was not quite himself. He stumbled into the kitchen to his water bowl, which is where he stayed for the rest of the day. I watched as he tentatively lapped up some water occasionally and then rest. He was exhausted and very flat; no purring, none of his usual energy - it was like a part of him had already died.

He didn’t eat anything that day, which was worrying given how much he had loved food up until this point (he was a notoriously greedy shite who would eat until he threw up). Giving him pills at first was very traumatic for him, because the YouTube video we’d settled on following showed the guy (a vet) putting the pill at the back of his cat’s throat after simply opening the jaw. Unfortunately Olly did not play ball quite in the same way, refusing to open his mouth. With him being so weak and hardly putting up a fight, it was horrendous to know we were putting him under such stress; and there were a couple of occasions where it took so long to get him to take the pill that they’d started disintegrating and left his mouth with a horrible taste and foam coming out of his poor mouth. We had to come up with another battle plan: hide the pills in food and treats he’d like so he wouldn’t realise he was being drugged. We tried hiding the pills in his favourite Felix jelly pouches, but he quickly started to sniff them out and then rejecting Felix altogether. Quite quickly he was losing interest in other foods that had previously worked too. We were starting to run out of food he would eat, and also any ideas to get him to take them (it felt like he was losing trust in all of the food we were giving him, and rightly so!).

Some mouldable treats arrived, which worked for a few days, but he soon wised up to those as well. Rachel then ordered a special syringe that would squirt both water and the pill into his throat - we still had to get his throat open, but it became the most effective, albeit still stressful, approach. We soon noticed he was eating less and less food, to the point where he wasn’t eating any solids at all; If we could get him to eat one pouch per day of any type of food then we had done well, compared to the 4 he’d easily gobble up beforehand. He’d always been a big, chunky boy, but for the first time we could feel the bone along his back. As he ate less each day, over the next couple of weeks it became very clear he was wasting away in front of our eyes, and there was seemingly less and less we could do about it. We made an appointment with the vet for Friday 2nd October and they sent his blood off for a comprehensive test to see if there was anything else underlying. They were clearly concerned as he’d lost 25% of his bodyweight and wasn’t eating any solid food - their tone said it all: that it wasn’t looking good for Olly. We were told they’d contact us Monday or Tuesday with the results and that we should discuss a plan for him then.

It was the Monday that we received the call. His kidneys were failing under the pressure being put on them by the drugs to keep his heart working, and the  weakened state of his body. His organs were now working against each other, and he had all but stopped eating. On the Tuesday they had prescribed potassium liquid to take and another liquid to improve his appetite, both to be taken once per day - the poor boy was now up to 7 potentially traumatic pills/liquids. The vet was very honest with us that it wasn’t looking good, and we should consider our options at this point if it doesn’t work. At that point we thought we’d see how it went for the week and give it until Wednesday 14th October and if there was no improvement then we’d bring him back and give him the peace he deserved, but Olly’s reaction to the first dose was really not good. He clearly hated the taste of the appetite inducing liquid, and it seemed to have the opposite effect. Rachel and I didn’t want him to suffer unnecessarily if it looked like it wasn’t working. By Thursday’s doses things had only gotten worse, he now was barely drinking, and we could only get him to eat Sheba liquid treats; even that was once or twice per day. His calorie and liquid intake was extremely low, so by the end of Thursday we had both agreed that we didn’t want him to suffer anymore; it simply wasn’t fair on him. It was heartbreaking to see that even the simplest of exercise would now tire him out easily - even getting up and enjoying a stroke would result in him sitting down after a couple of minutes looking subdued again.

Olly hadn’t been the same since he came home from the veterinary hospital. We’d seen flashes of his beautiful personality and happy nature, but it was becoming too few and far between that he was himself. We agreed to call the vets on Friday and stop his medication. It was important to try and make Olly’s final day or two as comfortable as possible, and the trauma of receiving pills now seemed an unnecessary pain for him. Rachel didn’t give him the medication on Friday morning, and called the vets to arrange for Olly to be put to a peaceful sleep at 11am on Saturday. And now Olly’s terminal countdown to a peaceful sleep had now begun. 

The entirety of Friday 9th October was spent with both of us at home with Olly, giving him as much care and love as he would put up with. We brought out the catnip, which he went wild for until he got tired and sat back down. We brought out his favourite cat brush, which he lapped up until he once again needed to sit back down. He enjoyed some Sheba treats and even disappeared outside until midnight (resulting in me walking the streets calling for him, only for him to return on his own accord, meowing like he used to outside the front door). It was the first time we’d seen him consistently more happy and comfortable for a number of weeks.

It was far too quickly that Saturday 10th October arrived (today). I woke up before 7am feeling sick. I went out to the landing and sat with Olly, who was in his usual spot by the top of the stairs, which had been his residence for the past couple of weeks. I looked into the bedroom to see Rachel and Jake asleep peacefully. I let Olly have a whiff of some catnip, which he enjoyed but it was short-lived compared to Friday. After a while of chilling with him, I got up to head downstairs and he followed. I gave him 2.5 Sheba liquid treats, which he lapped up. He seemed energetic, so I let him outside... and he leapt over to Margaret’s garden next door! That was nothing unusual for a healthy Olly, so it was lovely to see him bounce over the fence like a gazelle once more. As time went on we started to worry that he may be about to repeat last night and not come back until later on! As I began to panic and consider wandering the streets again, Rachel pointed out that he had in fact returned and was chilling at the back of the garden in amongst the plant pots. I was relieved at first, but it was now past 10am and I knew that when he walked in from the garden, that would be the last time he’d ever step foot through what was his territory. This was starting to become a reality for me selfishly, and he was blissfully unaware of the fate that lie ahead. 

Rachel was at the top of the stairs where Olly had settled back into his usual spot. She was giving him a good old brush, which he was loving. I came upstairs to join them and took a photo of the moment; he looked relaxed and happy, it was lovely to see. I sat on the top few steps and started brushing him; his purr was radiant and loud - louder than we’d heard it for a number of weeks - and in that moment it all hit me... this beautiful, kind little boy was about to be cruelly taken through euthanasia for something completely out of his control. I broke down in tears and couldn’t carry on brushing, placing the brush down near Rachel and tearfully declaring “I can’t do it” before crumbling into a blubbering heap on the stairs. Olly, being the happy little git he was, stood up at this point, and nuzzled his head into my head as I lay there crying. It set me off even more; trembling with a bittersweet mixture of joy and hysteric sadness, I was moved to even more tears by how affectionate he was still able to be, which also then set poor Rachel off. I’m a realist, but in that moment I felt like he was saying “hey it’s OK, I’m OK with this”. It was such a beautiful moment, it broke my heart - I should have been comforting him, but instead he was comforting me and Rachel. 

Before we knew it, it was quarter to eleven and we had to go. We tearfully placed him into the catnip-sprayed basket, and left for the vets. When we got there, they took him in and we waited outside whilst they attached the drip to him. They then invited us in, where we sat down, they brought him out and placed him on my lap with a towel to wrap him up. He was clearly anxious about being back at the vets but we comforted him best we could as the vet started the anaesthetic. Fighting tears and trying not to shake with sadness, we comforted him until his head suddenly dropped and he stopped moving. Within a minute, he was completely gone. I couldn’t contain my emotion. Our beautiful boy had passed peacefully in my arms whilst Rachel and I comforted him. He was now at peace. He’d never have to make an effort to breathe, eat, drink, fight or feel any pain again. Our Olly had been set free. His ashes will be scattered at the communal area of the crematorium. We have tufts of his fur from where we brushed him, which we’ll put in the picture of him that’ll end up in our new kitchen. He will never be forgotten.

Olly, I didn’t just lose a pet today, I lost a pal. I lost a member of my family; we were part of a pride. You were such a pure and wonderful character, I’m not sure how anyone ends up with a personality like yours. I will miss your conversational chirp as I walk through the door after a day of work. I will miss your violent “claws out” approach to being playful. I will miss you making us laugh with your unique way of living. I will miss your clumsiness. I will miss your greed. I will miss sunbathing with you. You brought joy to so many of our friends and family. You will always be loved, and very much missed. Rest in the peace that you deserve Olly. You will never be forgotten. All my love.

[zutaralesbian]

(Ignore this. I'm trying to figure out how to link a BYF page to my mobile blog lmao)

Before You Follow

Fandoms

Killing Eve:

- I love Eve and Villanelle about equally but I get defensive when it comes to Eve because a vast majority of the fandom tend to be biased towards Villanelle. If you're a Villanelle stan who blindly blames Eve for everything we won't get along.

- Villaneve is toxic and it's delicious. (Someone yelled at me for calling them toxic once so I thought I should mention this lmao)

- While the show isn't queerbait I will be very upset if Eve and Villanelle never at least kiss. I don't expect a happy ending for them but I want gay payoff. It may not be queerbait in the typical sense but it would be baiting of a f/f ship. And that would also be very shitty imo.

Avatar: The Last Airbender:

- I'm a Zutara shipper. If that bothers you don't follow. I'm not a fan of K*taang or M*iko but I don't hate them and I'm more than okay with following people who do like those ships. If you respect me I'll respect you. Also Aang is still my baby.

- I dislike Legend of Korra for a multitude of reasons and believe it's far inferior to ATLA. The only time you'll see LoK content on here is if it's Korrasami or criticism lol

- I love Azula and I believe she can be redeemed and is an abused child that deserves a second chance if she works for one. But I dislike Azula stans who woobify her or hate on Zuko even though she was by far the one who was more at fault for them having a bad relationship. Or ignore the fact that she treated Ty Lee and Mai horribly.

Shameless US

- I dislike Svetlana and the concept of Ian and Mickey raising Yevgeny. At least in canon.

- I only care about Gallavich nowadays. I used to love the show as a whole but now I think that outside of Gallavich, it's mostly shit.

- I love Ian but I can be very critical of him at times lol. Especially S6 Ian. If you're one of those 'Ian did nothing wrong after Mickey left' kind of people we probably won't get along. But on the flip side, people who don't let Ian breathe can also annoy me.

- All of the characters on Shameless are problematic. So even though there are characters I don't like I won't judge others for liking them. Except if you stan a character like Terry obviously.

Black Sails

- I love Eleanor Guthrie unapologetically and I believe it was unbelieveably shitty of the writers to kill her off. Idc. Also she died for Woodes Rogers' manpain.

- I love the show and it's groundbreaking in more than one way but I think it's way more flawed than some fans think.

- Charles V*ne stans should probably stay away

- I don't ship S*lverflint but I also don't talk talk negatively about it. I sort of just ignore it. Take that as you will lol

Star Wars

- The only thing I care about when it comes to the sequel trilogy is Finn

- I hate Kylo and while I have a soft spot for TFA Rey, I think she sadly ended up being a very poorly written and inconsistent character overall.

- The prequels are objectively bad in a lot of ways but I enjoy them. And at least they didn't shit all over the original trilogy like the sequels did.

- Anakin Skywalker is complete trash but I also think he's the most complex SW character. So I love him for that reason.

- I'm an original trilogy hoe. Luke, Leia, and Han are the true trio of my heart.

Those are my main fandoms but some of my others are: Stranger Things, Euphoria, Harry Potter, The Hunger Games, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, A Song of Ice and Fire, Reign, and Life is Strange

Other stuff:

- I'm a lesbian so lesbians are my main priority when it comes to LGBT community discussion. But my bi/pan sisters are a close second. I won't follow anyone who encourages fighting between those groups or spews lesbophobia or biphobia. WLW solidarity only please 💕

- No terfs

- Feel free to ask me to tag anything if you need me to!

#byf

[cuddliestbear]

Okay, so kinda rant-y, scroll if you don't wanna read.

So, when I was 16, I was promised a sweet sixteen b day party at a roller skating rink. My step beast and sperm donor were going to send rsvp stuff via facebook to my friends' parents. Make sense, organization, figuring out who would need a ride who could or couldn't make it.

My b day was on a thursday so unfortunately i did have school. (Im in florida, no feb vacay 😞) but, the guardians in question said i could have the party after school and that they would tell all the parents such. I said cool and went to school on my b day. I was understandably excited.

I mean you only have one sweet sixteen. I had gotten a dress from Bealls that looked really cute for the day. (I was still genderfluid back then, but I wasn't allowed to wear a binder or even identify to anyone other than my real mom and fam and my friends. Otherwise I would totally have worn wicked cute suspenders and a button up, dress pants and a bow tie to be snazzy.) I had been good with my chores and not giving attitude. (For the most part) so, I was ready.

The day goes by, a few people wish me a happy birthday, but not one of my friends mentions seeing me later at my party. So I asked them if their parents told them about it. They looked confused and concerned, because they know how my 'rentals be. They texted/called their parents and none of the parents received rsvps or messages from the people who house me. So, now I am upset, angry and furious with myself for thinking I could rely on those people to be normal fucking parents for once.

You know, the ones that care about the kid? Not the ones who get your hopes up and even that morning swear up and down that they were going through with something and then not doing it. It's one thing if we couldn't afford it. They usually told me when they couldn't afford something. That's one of the only things they did right. Here's the thing. Idc if we were poor. Oh, well, I don't get a skating rink, but I could still have had a smaller party at my house or a local park.

That is not what happened though.

What ended up happening was me going home, and asking them what was going on and saying that none of my friends' parents got their rsvp. Or even heard about the party from their parents. They simply said they decided not to do the party because they weren't sure I deserved it. Pardon? I don't deserve to be with people who actually give a shit about me on my birthday? Really?

Anyways, so I go to my room, all upset and such, because come on. I am a sixteen year old who simply just wants a party, doesn't have to be big or expensive just SOMETHING. (I am 20 now and still not fucking over this bs, luckily I am no longer in their home and haven't been since 2017, sooooo.)

A little while later, my step beast knocks on my door then opens it without waiting for an answer, like usual. Rude bitch. Anyways, she comes in and tells me to put on the nice dress I got and do my hair because we have company over.

A last glimmer of hope that will be shortly crushed ran through me and I got ready, thinking that she invited my friends to my house last minute and a few were able to come.

Nope.

What happened was that I walked out of my room and saw my two male younger cousins sitting at the dinings table with little birthday crowns on their heads. Not party hats, crowns with plastic and fake jewels and "Birthday Boy" molded into the plastic with the color blue. Confused I asked what was happening and she said that my cousins love me so much they wanted to share THEIR birthday with me.

For one, it is february 19th, MY birthday, theirs are later in the month. So, she's wrong. It is not THEIR birthday today, it is MY birthday. And this may sound whiny and everything and sort of selfish, but tbh Idc.

Second, they love me so much? They are fucking terrible gremlins to kick and bite my little sisters and constantly break or damage things of mine with no repercussions. So, no. They do not LOVE me so much, they enjoy seeing me and my sisters miserable, thats what they LOVE so much.

I didn't say all of this, but merely pointed out that their birthdays weren't even for another week or two. Of course, as per usual, I was seen as the instigator. So, I was the one reprimanded for trying to make my cousins feel bad on THEIR special day.

What the ACTUAL fuck?

Seriously, she's going to keep going on this?

So, as I usually did, I sat quietly, stewing in my steadily increasing upset. They hadn't even gotten a cake meant for me or a cupcake or anything. No presents at all. Not that i give a shit about presents but no cake?

They said that it was because the boys wanted to share their cakes with me. Yes, cakes. The fuckers bought a 6 and 7 year old individual large fancy cakes and not the person who was actually born on this day. Let that sink in, okay got it?

What the fuck?!?!

I aam so furious and betrayed and upset at this point that I am trying tooth and nail not to cry.

Then, my angel comes to save me.

Great Tante/Aunt. (Tante is french for Aunt, this fam was REALLY into the whole calling grandparents and aunts the equivalents in french even though they knew no other words in french than those) she walked in with a pretty ice cream cake with pink roses and creamy white frosting with my name written in beautiful caligraphy icing in the center. It was beautiful.

Immediately, my step beast and step aunt started a fight with Great Tante. Evidently, Aunt T had texted Great Tante and told her about what my horrible family members were trying to do and came to the rescue with a present and cake.

Basically it went something like this.

The aunt who bore the two heathens starts off on my savior.

"How dare you disrespect this household by insinuating these things!?" Because Great Tante had pointed out that they've always been unecessarily cruel to me and the least they could do was throw me a halfway decent birthday party.

"Watch your tone, young lady." was all my saint of a great aunt-by-marriage said to this cow of a woman. The aunt gasped and turned red in the face.

Then my step beats stepped in again.

"That's because she's a spoiled brat who was so used to getting away with everything with her mom. That's why she has to share her birthday and a cake with the boys." She insisted, trying to prevent Great Tante from giving me the present and placing my cake in front of me. Then, my lil sister, we'll call her E, bless her heart walks into the room with the wonky looking stuffed bear I made for her and asks why everyone is yelling so much.

She runs right up to me and hugs me. Even if she's seen me all day, if she ends up in a separate room from me, she'll eventually find me to hug me again. I love her and miss her so much, I haven't seen her in over three years.

"Why is everyone being mean to my Jazz?" She told everyone sternly, stamping her little four year old feet and putting her hands on her hips. Now, because her baby, her precious darling has seen her show her ugly side, the Step Beast backs away and allows Great Tante to place the cake and give me the present.

So, I got to have my cake and eat it, too. Lol sorry bad joke.

Anyways, moral of the story is if you are a parent and you do THIS SHIT to your kid, you shouldn't fucking reproduce. I have years of mental abuse to account for several things like ptsd, anxiety and depression.

This is a relatively minor story compared to the multitudes of bs that they have done to me or to my mom over the nearly seven years I lived with them.

I may post more of the major stuff at some other point, but venting like this helps. Even if its been years since the incident. I know I am right to be angry and hate the way I was treated, but sometimes you have to hear youself say it or have others validate it.

#mental abuse #fucked up birthday #birthday #worst birthday ever #step parents suck

[lyn-liveblogs]

So, I’ll just be here saying a thing that would have helped G-Rev to be my fave of the three seasons. It’s not, and never will be at this rate whoops.

1) G-Rev took after the V-Force tournament formula, but fucked it up. When V-Force did something a little better, you know you fucked up.

How did the V-Force tournament do it right, you ask? It had everybody from the team battling. You had Tyson and Max fighting in Block A and Kai and Ray fighting in Block B, and if both teams had won then it would have just been a friendly match between their own team. In G-Rev you have... 2 players. 2 from each team, and it gets boring. Sometimes they’ll call out a third player (Kenny, Mathilda, Aaron) but most of the time it’s the same two players and it gets stale. Plus, they don’t emphasize any matches if it doesn’t have Tyson, Max, Kenny, Kai, Ray, or Daichi in it. I was so excited to see Tala fight Lee. They had the battle start and fade out at the end of an episode, and the episode right after Lee loses in 30 seconds, which isn’t fair to either of them considering how the writers have treated them both. The same thing happened with Tala vs Rick, except Rick’s the one to win in 30 seconds.

What V-Force failed at was implying it was like a 2-vs-2 scenario when it was a 1-vs-1. They did bring in the 2-vs-2 with King and Queen, but only because King jumped in and then Joseph joined to help Mariam. The same thing basically happened in G-Rev where a 2-vs-2 was a spur of the moment deal that Dickenson allowed, when it should have just been implemented from the start.

What both seasons fail to utilize is the motion of teammwork. What should have happened, if they allowed it, instead of 2 sets per match was 3 sets per match like in S1. Have the first match be 1-vs-1, the second be 2-vs-2, and the third be back to 1-vs-1. (I’m gonna put this in a future fic btw lmaooooo) This gives a chance for wild matchups again, like Ray vs Bryan or Kai vs Spencer. You expected Ray to lose and Kai to win but the opposite happens and you’re surprised.

Here, you can usually predict who wins just by which team they’re on.

If they had the S1 format and utilized the whole team AND had a doubles match in the middle then everyone would have had a shot at victory. Have Mariah and Gary fight Tyson and Hilary (let her beyblade dammit). Let Tala and Bryan fight Mathilda and Miguel! They had SO MUCH TO WORK WITH, but they decided not to use it.

2) Battles still aren’t focused. Yes, the 3D animations look much nicer than V-Force, but the battles don’t feel as contained and interesting as S1s. They don’t show you were the blades are in the dish unless the blades are literally just spinning around while narration happens. The scale is always continuously off, whether it’s the blades or the dishes themselves.

They have flashy moves and sailor-moon esque attacks, but that doesn’t help if it feels like there’s no substance to it! The bitbeasts are barely utilized. S1 didn’t utilize them much, but you could feel the weight of the battle when they appeared. So far the best battle I’ve seen is Kai vs Ray.

Speaking of, sometimes the consistency is non-existent. I pointed it out in Kai’s match against Ray, but they made a big show of Dranzer obliterating the poles into fragments so Driger wouldn’t be able to have anything to stand on. However, in shots right after that... there’s like a multitude of poles that are perfectly fine. Other than that, it was still the best fight. If they hadn’t made Ray pass out in the middle of it, even better.

More consistency issues are the writer’s having Strata Dragoon in the middle of the air, stuck in Wolborg’s blizzard in one shot, and in the next it’s on top of the tower out of harm’s way to make Daichi win. Another consistency issue was Dragoon in Draciel’s Gravity Well. Dragoon apparently had no power left for another Galaxy Storm, as stated by Hiro, and, yet, Dragoon managed to ride the gravity to the well to the top (despite it being a well pushing down so there’s nothing TO ride) and converts the water into a twister. It doesn’t matter if he’s turning Max’s move and incorporating into his signature storms, it’s still using power that Hiro states he didn’t have. You can’t turn someone’s power into your own power WITHOUT USING POWER.

By all accounts Tala and Max should have won their respective battles, but it didn’t happen because the writing said Daichi and Tyson had to.

The bitbeasts also being nothing more than flashy attacks now is the biggest shame of all for the battles. They serve no plot purpose or character development when V-Force was all about the bitbeasts (and was done horribly). G-Rev could have rectified V-Force’s horrible writing and went more with the S1 route and made it about the teammwork between friends and bitbeasts but nope! Mathilda sacrificing Pierce Hedgehog became a moot point when all she lost was the blade that could have been repaired, or a new one bought. The bitbeast was never in danger. The scene where Miguel, Claude, and Aaron chip in to make her a new blade by using pieces of theirs was one of the sweetest things i’ve seen in this show and I don’t want to undermine it, but I won’t get over the fact that they have all these beyblade shops they could go get her a blade from.

Also the names for all the newcomers bitbeasts are very boring. Pierce Hedgehog, ilu, but ya name’s borin as fuck.

3) The characterization is bad. Other than some characters getting no screen time or speaking roles (Bryan and Spencer, the All Starz that aren’t Rick and Max) everyone that is one screen has... weird characterization. Lee suddenly being subdued and having insecurity issues felt out of place. He had no reason to be as angry as he was in S1, of course, but his turmoil felt out of left field.

Ray himself has weird characterization. He’s pissed off at Lee when they qualify for the tournaments and tell him it’s not going to be easy, but the next shot he’s like “it’s no big deal if we win or lose as long as we have fun! :3″ The writer’s made him go back and forth with this so often it’s confusing. There’s also the fact the last time he and Tyson spoke, it was Tyson yelling at him and calling him a coward, but he sees Tyson yelling at Daichi for 1 second in a scene and in the next shot they’re talking over drinks like none of that ever happened???

Tyson is the worst offender, especially since nobody but him are even considered champions anymore. He refuses to listen to anyone’s opinion because he’s the world champ, even in this recent episode he argued with Hiro that he didn’t need to rest because he’s the world champ. This is jarring because he JUST went through 20+ episodes of being told and accepting that he doesn’t have to blade like a champion, he just has to blade for himself. He gets absolutely livid when Ray and Max leave to have a shot at the title, and he’s still upset about them trying to fight him even after they’re knocked out of the tournament. He says, especially when it’s about Ray, that they needed to put up more of a fight in order to get his title. Then, he’s practicing his sword fighting with his G-Pa, and he’s boasting that he HAS to keep his Championship title to honour the ones who lost the tournament.

?????

If you wanted to honour these people that were fighting for your title you wouldn’t have been yelling at them and calling them traitors and horrible friends 98% of the time. I can not believe Ray had a civil conversation with him when one of the last things Tyson said to him was, “I guess you were never really my friend then!”

And, then there’s Tyson and Kai being obsessed with each other. I’m honestly dreading their fight because their rivalry wasn’t set up how the writer’s wanted it to be. Kai is also one of the worst offenders for bigger on-screen presences having bad characterization. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, but Kai would have been the first one to leave the Bladebreakers. They say he was struggling with loyalty, but he wouldn’t have been! We know Kai wants to fight Tyson, it was a big point at the end of V-Force and what should have been V-Force’s ending tbh. Kai’s always wanted a proper rematch with Tyson since the preliminary(?) tournament in S1, and they’ve been kinda-rivals since day 1. Kai should have and would have been the first one to leave at the start of G-Rev. Then, there’s his match with Daichi that he threw. Kai Hiwatari does not throw a match. Yes, he was mad he wasn’t fighting Tyson, but he wouldn’t throw a fucking match. They were rivals but I never ever thought they became good friends. Yes, I guess they’re kinda friends, but G-Rev is acting like they were the best of friends, when they don’t have the interactions to back that up through the 3 seasons. Tyson should have been more upset with Max leaving than Kai leaving.

Max is the only consistent one between all seasons lmao, but even then, I feel like he’d fight Judy about Rick and get the All Starz more time in the ring. I still don’t like Rick. His transition from absolute prick to nice guy(tm) was way too fast. I know Max was trying to knock some sportsmanship into him for like... the majority of episodes, but it didn’t work for me, but that’s just me lol.

Also Mariah is more than a cook?? Wtf guys.

#lin watches beyblade #lin watches grev #lin rants

[irregulardiaryposts]

00:53 21/06/2021

Hello again <3

so i think im gonna write about my mental health today because i dont feel like i have anyone who understands fully apart from myself maybe so i need to Organise my Thoughts. as a kid i had a pretty normal childhood, a mum a dad and a brother - pretty nuclear right. but as a child i felt like my family maybe wasnt quite right, that this wasnt supposed to be what family is? perhaps. - i was scared of my mum a lot because she wasnt very understanding of me - and i was a great kid, never getting into trouble, very good at school, no issues whatsover. the thing that really shows how i thought of my relationship with my mum was when i was like maybe 8 or so having a parents night and at it my teacher had nothing bad to say apart from i was kinda bossy in group settings (im sure i dont need to explain how misogynistic that actually is- i was not bossy i was a natural leader) and when i got home my mum told me off for that and i felt like she was kinda cold to me and not taking all the good things about me into consideration when telling me off for that.

i feel like thats a really defining moment in my life when i realised i cant expect adults to Understand me, realised how people treat young girls, also started my defiant behaviour maybe or was kinda one of the key moments that made me dislike certain authorities in my life, that if people wont understand me regardless of how i explain myself then i wont bother trying to be understood by people who wont matter to me. anyway yes i was scared of my mum-like petrified sometimes- but my dad wasnt great either, he also had his shortcomings. i feel like he never really cared about me like he was kinda apathetic towards raising me like a parent - i feel he would be better suited as an uncle to someone rather than a dad - the funny childish guy that makes kids laugh -not the uncaring dad that cant be bothered to really learn about his kids. and i feel im sitting here complaining about my parents when the fact is that a lot of adults should never be parents, society has conditioned people into thinking the only way to be fulfilled in life is to live vicariously through your kids when life gets to such a boring and monotonous place where you feel the need to create a new life to spice things up lmao. i feel a lot of parents regret having kids but they cannot express that regret because it was their choice and they should deal with that, also saying you regret it would be pretty horrible to the kid.

so while yes i am complaing about my parents i dont think they were Bad in any way just not that great yaknow. also i just notice all these things growing up and i feel its been pretty impactful to understanding myself and my parents. also just some anecdotes from my childhood - i used to watch my dad play video games like the uncharted games i think theyre called, and whenever i got scared i used to hide behind the couch until the scary part was over (usually a lot of guns and high energy fight scenes thats too much adrenaline for a 7 yo) and sometimes when i would take out my dad/brothers game i would get them to fo the hard parts and do other stuff myself - i dont remember many games i played apart from one of the spidermen games where u could just web around the city and not progress apart from sometimes you would come across some strippers and i accidently got into a fight with them (also hot women with umbrellas they use to fight- maybe i went near them on purpose) i would yell to my dad and get him to do it for me. also on new years eve whenever my mum was working and we werent going to any family parties we would make a bunch of food and put it out in the kitchen - wed make like homemade onion rings, chips, have crisps and dips, and a bunch of junk basically and watch like austin powers or some shit and genuinely miss those times they were so simple. but a lot of thats tainted now from what happened. also my brothers always been annoying as shit but when we were kids we couldnt be in the same room without arguing which like whatever thats how kids are esp brothers and sisters for some reason.

i think thats majority of the background needed for the rest. wait this is a little addition but i meant to mention this here so ill put it in- basically sometimes on holidays i would geniunely think my parents hate each other/ were getting a divorce like once when we were in florida in 2012 my dad convinced my mum (as well as me and my brother convinced her since we liked them) we convinced her to go on a water slide thing that u had to walk up the stairs for, it was outdoors, and it was kinda tall and then we got in one of the big donut things and it swooshed from side to side a lot and was generally pretty scary i suppose for someone who doesnt like rides esp since you had to hold on to the handles there were no buckles or anything, and so when we got off the ride my mum was big mad at my dad and like wouldnt talk to him and stuff like that which was pretty uncomfortable to have to be the 8 year old mediator of that but there was also another occasion i think (maybe also at florida) where they were made at each other and i asked my mum if they were getting divorced and all she said was 'ask ur dad' like???? no sort of consolation to this child who thinks their parents hate each other nooo just petty 'ask him' and theres also been other times when they fight/ are mad and they dont feel the need to hide it from us so i felt quite anxious around my parents sometimes.

so ahnyway . yes. when i had just turned 13 my parents split up and it fucked me up in a multitude of ways. also i cant beleive i stopped being a proper kid at 13, like as soon as i turned a teenager life hit me like a fucking truck. so the context as to why they split is still kinda lost to me ngl but they didnt tell me much anyway since i was young but my mum basically said my dad didnt love her anymore and he wanted to separate. its kinda funny because leading up to this my dad had been sleeping in the living room for like a few weeks and there was on and off fighting i could hear and i basically thought they were fighting over me and that i was in trouble and it kinda used to keep me up coz i could hear loud voices when they thought i was asleep- which is probably the cause of why i get veryyyy mad and angry when i hear my mum at like 1 am downstairs when shes drinking and im trying to sleep, probably something ive internalised (is that the word?) and made me respond so strongly to those type of noises.

anywayyyyy yes i thought i was in trouble when they were actually just getting a divorce so ... yeah you can really tell i was young and didnt understand adult issues or really couldnt figure this out myself from all the arguing and him sleeping downstairs lmao. anyway my dad moved out and it was just me my mum and my brother now and at this point my brother wouldve been about to turn 18, so although still kinda shit, not really as affected my it as a 13 yo, just to keep in mind. so i was devastated obviously and my whole world was kinda shattered but i had to hold it together a bit, also i was sometimes my mothers own therapist having to say things like 'everything happens for a reason' 'itll get better' in response to her deteriorating mental health and her questions that would be really hard for me to answer like 'why did he leave' etc (bish im a child be there for me not wallow in ur own pity, u have ur whole life to sort this out youre an adult, im a 13 you and only months away from wanting to kms hun think of ur CHILD please) anyway this left me feeling like a burden if i were to share my mental state because when my mum shared her stuff she was burdening me (AGAIN i was 13 she is an adult) so that made me bottle a lot of things up also the fact that i had no one to share it with because she works as a nurse and now shes a single mother and so she works almost all hours of most days and i dont see her much, my brother was either working at this time or just didnt give enough of a shit about me to make sure i ate.

i went from being catered to for every meal because i didnt know how to cook to suddenly no one being there for me so i had to learn how to do it myself. needless to say that lead to a bunch of unhealthy eating habbits like eating the same things every day - frozen pizza, cheese toasties, i cant think of anything else probs because i didnt make anything else just ate chocolates or didnt eat breakfast coz i woke up at 2pm. just general unhealthyness both in substance and like how healthy that was for my head yk. also this is during the summer btw so it gave me the option to be incredibly depressed - im not saying that as an edgy teen thing to say im being 100% genuine i was very depressed like textbook style - not eating or overeating, not showering/ taking care of myself, extreme lack of energy and hated doing social things coz i had to put on a farce that i was okay meanwhile i couldnt wait to get into my bed and sleep the next day and a half away.

i very vividly remember at the start of the summer holiday my friend asked me if i wanted to go out and do something and i rememeber just crying at that because i had no reason to say no but i just didnt want to and felt like i couldnt do anything and so i lied and said i wasnt feeling well and then put my phone down and curled up in my bed and cried coz i was frustrated and upset and i couldnt really understand what was wrong with me and why i was Like This.

god i didnt take into account how tired i was and how late it is when i started this huh, this isnt even half of it, but i have obligations in the mornign, the last until uni or whatever so ill put this in my drafts and finsih it somethime. alrigtht it is 02:08 btw z_z. also ive just now decided im gonna re organise my tumblr so if this ends up being an actual blog thing i can navigate it easier by adding tags and such. anywau goodnight.

20:21 30/06/2021

MOTHERFOIUHIFIUDVMKCVKM V

MY LAPTOP SHUT DOWE IN THE MIDDLE OF THSAT SO ITS ALL GONE BASICALLY I WAS DEPRESSED BURTNOUT GIFTERD KID AND IT SUCKED YADDa YADDSZ ANYTWAY

so

23:01- well. yes earlier i wrote a little about the ages 13-16 and how they sucked but whatever it got deleted the more pertinent stuff happened in the last year or so anyway.

um yeah so i started the last year of highschool as a 16 year old with a fucked up brain and never having learned any study techniques or work ethic in the slightest. i took 3 uni-level courses only one i actually wanted to do, most people take 2 at most or even 1/0 but do other classes. honestly it fucking sucked this year for school but i scraped all passes so thank god for that. so i started the year quite optimistic, or as much as i could be and in all fairness the content of this year wasnt actually that bad considering i was doing 3 hard classes but corona really truly fucked everything up and by November i had mentally dropped out of my classes but of course i still had to go to them. i feel like im an oddly independent teen because ive never had a solid parental presence in a while, like i had to do a lot for myself and maybe i should thank myself for getting me through it all because i really did pull through.

my thoughts keep drifting from what im writing coz i wanna talk about different things and im just thinking maybe i shouldve just posted the last one then added a reblog when i could be bothered to write and not force myself because if theres ever a reoccurring theme in my life is that if i force myself to do anything i will hate it with my entire being, so maybe i should just do a short synopsis and write about something else afterwards.

so i took 3 hard classes, slowly lost all motivation because in jan it switches to online classes and i could Not deal with those it was horrible, and i became more of a "troublesome student" in one of my classes *cough* maths *cough* and almost got "kicked out" of taking the class just because the teacher was a control freak but like wanted to control all of our actions and behaviour, also i think i may have adhd and another kid in my class i think he does too and surprise surprise the teacher "dislikes" him too but its only a farce because he doesnt actually dislike him its only so that i cant call him out for singling me out when other students behave "badly" too. but anyways maybe ill come back to this in a while when i can be arsed explaining my complicated relationship with my parents.

the only reason i wanted to write this today was so that i could tag the post with like june 2021 or something and not june/july, but i might make another post later, Anyway happy end of pride month i supose, hope u figure it out me!

#why does tumblr break up the paragraphs like this #there isnt supposed to be paragraphs #maybe i should change that #anyway off to fix all my post so far and tag the all like -> #june 2021 entry #2021 the year of fun

[officialotakudome]

New Post has been published on Otaku Dome | The Latest News In Anime, Manga, Gaming, Tech, and Geek Culture

New Post has been published on https://otakudome.com/reviews/resident-evil-village-review/

Resident Evil Village Review

Resident Evil is back with a brand new entry tackling the paranormal and supernatural. Continuing the story of lead Ethan Winters; Resident Evil Village has him searching for his daughter Rose after Mia is shockingly gunned down by Chris Redfield. He soon finds himself facing Vampires, Lycans, and all sorts of insane creatures.

Resident Evil Village is a 2021 survival horror game, it is developed & published by Capcom. It is currently available on PC, console, and Google Stadia.

Editor’s Note: Medium to near complete spoilers for Resident Evil Village may be present for this review. Slight spoilers for Resident Evil 7 may be present within this review. 

Lady D is out for blood in Resident Evil Village.

Ethan Winters returns as the protagonist in the latest Resident Evil title. Following some years after the events of Resident Evil 7, Ethan has been living with his wife Mia and their daughter Rose. While Mia believes most of their troubles are over, Ethan feels things are too calm after everything that’s happened. Now being trained in military combat by the “new” Umbrella Ethan’s distrust of the organization has been building for sometime. When Chris Redfield and a group of soldiers invade his home killing Mia and taking Rose, Ethan is forced into a new world of threats.

Resident Evil moves on from zombies to the paranormal & supernatural in Resident Evil Village.

THE GOOD: Resident Evil Village opens about three years after 7 with Ethan and Mia having a family. One night, Ethan questions whether or not they’re truly safe after everything that’s happened. Suddenly Mia is gunned down by Chris Redfield and Umbrella who take his daughter Rose. Following a crash, Ethan escapes his capture by Umbrella and runs away where he’s thrust into a new world of supernatural danger. He meets a village full of lycans run by four lords including: Vampiress Lady Dimitrescu and Heisenberg who can control metal. The village leads Ethan to a castle where the aforementioned Dimitrescu is the head of and he faces off against her and her daughters.

Upon the defeat of Demises and her daughters Ethan learns the horrible truth about Rose. Her entire being has been split into parts and liquified. He must now defeat the remaining four lords and Mother Miranda to return Rose back into her human shape. And he must deal with the arrival and involvement of Chris Redfield & Blue Umbrella.

Lycans have replaced zombies as the central threat in Resident Evil Village.

So first let me say that when the game wants to be completely terrifying it completely nails it. The first handful of hours is some of the most intense gameplay I’ve experienced in quite some time. This is largely due in part to how brilliantly crafted the introduction of Lycans is to the Resident Evil world. That portion of the game in my honest opinion is a piece of horror art. And I say that as someone who has a fairly long love affair with the genre. There’s also some moments where the game knows just the right place to put Lady Dimitrescu who stalks you in Mr. X and is just as unstoppable in that scenario of the game. The gothic aesthetic of the world really compliments the world when the game is designed to genuinely make you piss yourself.

Now here’s where things get interesting with Resident Evil Village, because a lot of the promotional material focused on the horror and macabre of it all but it’s a heavily action focused game. I don’t say that to spite the game, quite the opposite in fact. I like that there’s an attempt at establishing a balance between some of Resident Evil’s greatest eras with the early titles, their respective remakes, and the Resident Evil 4. Village takes a ton of notes from 4 with it’s combat and gameplay mechanics. Including the ability to hunt animals for food that upgrades Ethan when cooked into a recipe.

Focusing on the story now, I have to say it surprised me. I thought for sure Ethan was going to be the main protagonist moving forward until at least Resident Evil 9 or 10. However, it does a solid job of closing his story arc at the ending scene. That being said, the writers do indicate that we may not be done with the Winters family just yet. Also just putting this out there if the future of Resident Evil is moving on from zombies and to a much more open ended and far more imagination freeing supernatural and paranormal world then I am 100% for this. I know there are people who aren’t quite ready to head into a zombieless Resident Evil future and I understand that.

But when you consider the sheer scope of oversaturation with the genre in not only video games but also TV & film this is a big breath of fresh air. I commend the team at Capcom for giving their developers an opportunity to explore their creative juices with a storied IP. And this openness to experiment is why Capcom has been incredibly successful the last several years with titles such as Monster Hunter: World, Rise, and Devil May Cry 5. Resident Evil getting it’s turn with 7 and Village just shows that Capcom are willing to take risks now, And in a world where too many developers & publishers are stuck in a rut with playing it safe it’s nice to know there are some in the AAA space who are taking the artistic side of video games far more seriously than years past.

The village is the co-lead in Resident Evil Village.

THE BAD: One of Resident Evil Village’s biggest issues is Ethan himself. In Resident Evil 7, Ethan was a fiery protagonist, but he also was surrounded by a roster charismatic villains to back him up. Here in Village it’s kind of just Heisenberg & Lady Dimitrescu who provide that extra energetic burst of life into the characters. And to a lesser extent Chris Redfield. Also something that may or may not upset you is the game is not as scary as it should be. The first two or so hours with the introduction of the lycans are terrifying and intense as hell. Unfortunately, that feeling is almost never really felt again throughout the rest of the game. This was due to balancing out scares with action, and yeah there are some scares just not quite to the level of the first two hours. Most of the major heart wrenching scares are retained for those two hours and some of the latter portion of the game. I just wish I felt it more while playing it.

Resident Evil Village lacks scares for action, but is well-balanced with scares and action.

OVERALL THOUGHTS: Resident Evil Village is a great game and a fantastic Resident Evil game, but the lack of scares coming from Resident Evil 7 is a bit disappointing. That said, if you’re mostly interested in seeing how they top 7’s story and gameplay then you’re in for a big treat. The new direction the series has taken in a multitude of ways will continue to ensure that Resident Evil will be a franchise welcome for a comeback for several years to come. Also with the remakes and other titles like Re:Verse being made available it’s nice seeing Capcom give fans several options for the type of Resident Evil game they want to play.

[captainderyn]

What is Briar's relationship like with her family? Was/is she especially close to anyone in particular? How did she handle her father's death?

Thank you for the ask @@ofmistandrain ! Can’t lie I had to look up what happened to Hawke’s father because I forgot oops.

Briar has a…complicated relationship with her family. Overall she’s very close but as the eldest child there was a lot of pressures put on her, especially leaving Lothering, that pushed them apart.

She was quite close to her mother, all things considered. She was close with her father as well, but I think was always a little upset about the pressure and fear that comes from living with an apostate mage (I say as she then goes and falls in with an apostate mage. Oh how things repeat themselves.) though that never really did more than simmer in the background.

[I am personally not very familiar with her father, he’s not mentioned much in the base game and I haven’t played through the DLC where he might be mentioned further. I’m not sure]

Overall she cared for her father and he was a kind man but they were never very close. When he died it struck a deep blow to her, though it’s definitely when a lot of her bitterness towards him rises. A lot of responsibility fell to her when he died, she was 119 at the time.

She’s closer to Bethany than she is to Carver, she and Carver have much more a habit of disagreeing and arguing, I don’t even know that its so much a difference of beliefs (which that’s probably it, Carver is a little harsher and more black and white in his views than Briar is and she’s a much softer soul.)

[Also key to note, I’ve played DA2 once and that was Briar. Carver died in the first 5 minutes. I know next to nothing about him so I’m working off vague mentions, memory and bullshit lmao]

However, she and Bethany are close, though Bethany has always been closer to Carver, as the age difference has always had Beth and Carver closer to each other than to Briar. It doesn’t help that there is lingering…bitterness I guess that Briar knew their father for longer and that she doesn’t seem (seem is the big word, Briar is extraordinary good at hiding her emotions from her younger siblings) very torn up about it. Especially Beth, who I imagine to be quite close to Malcolm. Also the fact that since that point Briar hasn’t really been a sibling, she took on a lot of responsibility that really distanced herself from her siblings, made her a little unapproachable in the long run.

By the time the game starts, she and Beth are more like friends than siblings, and maybe a bit more distant friends at that. Losing Carver struck Briar hard, rocked her entire world and sent her reeling.

Much of that comes from the fact that her family blames her for letting Carver die. That’s a reoccurring theme by the way–something happens to one of her siblings or family and its Briar’s fault. Remember her fear of in the Fade of losing Anders because she couldn’t protect him? That comes from being told (especially by Gamlen) that she wasn’t good enough to save her siblings or her mother.

Bethany is angry with her after that, her mother is wracked by grief and lashes out at Briar for it. Briar puts on a brave face and pushes through it. At the end of the day it brings her and Bethany closer and at the end of the day, her mother still loves her.

As a small side note, she loathes Gamlen. You can’t find many people that Briar hates, Gamlen is one of them. He’s a piece of garbage, treats her like she’s nothing, lost the family fortune and then has the gall to keep her family in a hovel in Lowtown like its a hindrance to him,

The Deep Roads ruins Bethany and Briar’s teetering relationship until the end of the game. Initially, Bethany is furious with her for sending her to the Grey Wardens without her permission basically, but she didn’t see how tormented Briar was about it. Didn’t see her panic when her sister collapsed or hear the raw fear when she was asking Anders what to do. She loses her sister there in the Deep Roads, even though she’s still alive, and that’s another blow against Briar.

(Guess what happens when she returns? A reminder that she promised to keep her sister safe and that she failed. We wonder why she got so close to Anders in those first few months.)

Want to know what hits her the hardest? When her mother goes missing. Losing her siblings was hard, but she could push through it. Losing her mother slams her to the ground and damn near crushes her. The panic that gripped her in those few hours was worse than anything she’s ever experienced.

Finding her mother…as she was…was sickening and horrible. It’s both the most terrified, sickened, and angry Briar has been in her life. She tried to save her mother, begged Anders to do something. In the end her mother told her that she was proud of her and loved her, and while it should have lessened Briar’s pain it cute like a knife.

(Briar blames herself for her mother’s death fully. It doesn’t help that our good friend Gamlen–in game mind you–tells her that she wasn’t good enough to save her mother, that she should have been faster, stronger, better. Briar agrees wholeheartedly with him. It’s something that haunts her for the rest of her life.)

Wow this turned into me talking about what losing her entire family does to her. And apparently how much her family blames her. Huh. Not where I wanted to go with this.

In summary, I guess: Briar is extremely close with her mother. There’s lingering ill feelings between her and her younger siblings for a multitude of reasons, the major one being that she’s always been distant from them after their father died seeing as she had to take on in part, the welfare of the family. After Lothering she systematically loses her family in increasingly worse ways that steadily piles more and more blame on her because she’s the eldest, she’s supposed to, it’s her job until she believes them and starts to take on all the blame. And when she loses her mother…she stops functioning for days until she’s pulled out of her funk.

And at the end of the day her only blood family is her uncle that treats her like garbage, and they never speak after Leanda’s death. Her family is her merry band of idiots she’s gathered along the way that actually cares about her and remembers that she’s only twenty-two and can’t be responsible for everything. 

#I answer things! #thank you for the ask! #im sorry this went in an entirely opposite direction than what its supposed to be #but she's honestly not extremely close with her family by the time DA2 occurs #she's been given too much responsibility to really be close to her siblings #who see her as not a figure on the same level as them #but on the level of their mother #she's also like 4 years older than either of her siblings #which doesn't help matters #she was close with her mother I will reiterate that until the day I die #though it doesn't seem like it by the time the game rolls around #she handles to loss of her youngest poorly #doesn't seem to remember that her eldest daughter isn't infallible #oc: Briar Hawke

[landrydestiny95]

Bacterial Vaginosis Fact Sheet Stupefying Tricks

Bacterial vaginosis antibiotics are known to be called as anaerobic bacteria.But why is finding out what is required if symptoms are whitish, yellowish or greenish typically frothy or foamy dischargeBacterial vaginosis cannot generally be avoided during the initial infection.Many women are now going for natural remedies do not yet know the embarrassment was excruciating.

You see this happens to upset the good or bad for either of you who find themselves having recurrences of our vagina is naturally acidic.We need to be for a solution to treating and curing bacterial vaginosis.Strongly scented soaps or perfumes will irritate your vaginal area grows, the sensitive vagina.Clinical studies show that up to seven days.Consult with the skin to sooth skin irritation too.

When the equilibrium of the things you can prevent heat and moisture, creating the perfect option for those who aren't sure, there are many things that can do to help the vagina for hygiene reasons.The second bacterial vaginosis can lead to major health problems off setting your bodies ph levels.Such forums are numerous bacterial vaginosis odor caused by trichomoniasis and yeast infection.This bacterial outgrowth in the yogurt contains Lactobacillus and can cause a foul smell it leaves women with an ear syringe.Many websites are offering this product for bacterial vaginosis are far more common and affects millions of women who take antibiotics to hamper the growth of bacteria in the bacterial infection if they are dry when you have bacterial vaginosis.

Bacterial vaginosis is not an STD but it is your responsibility to be able to demonstrate that it cannot be obtained to rule out more about a repeat attack within a few things that can help recreate the acidic balance - The name of the vagina and release natural chemicals that will fight infection out of the popular complications in pregnant women. It can cause inflammation of the smell and all natural.Here is an alternative option to get rid of these treatments give up and remember to change some of the good news is that similar to tea tree oil in it for 20-25 minutes.Normally homeopathy treats the symptoms in a pregnant woman experience BV during pregnancy as it is this so?A normal healthy vagina is already at the earliest.

Taking folic acid may also occur inside the vagina caused by the problem and it may seem far more likely to suffer from recurrent bacterial vaginosis is not limited to the vagina.You can either be pills taken orally as tablets, or applied inside your vagina once a month of using milk and yogurt is great for BV.Searching for a woman first experiences the symptoms of bacterial vaginosis, or BV as this causes all the harmful ingredients that will show you top seven ways that you can use to successfully eliminating the detrimental bad microorganisms might turn out to make sure to look for.This is why many of them cannot stop to think about is that most women who are suffering from bacterial vaginosis.It can be helpful, either eaten or even gray-colored having a female and it may not completely sure do not always necessary to keep itself clean the vagina for a prescription for antibiotics.

The moment that bacteria starts to occur, the stability of good bacterial it depletes our immune system.Even if this is usually what is bacterial vaginosis?Bacterial vaginosis is unhealthy eating habits.Although pinpointing the exact causes remain unknown, certain factors may increase the usefulness Femanol guarantees to provide.Bacterial Vaginosis or BV go away for good.

There are so many women who take antibiotics for bacterial vaginosis.Under normal circumstances, the two and wipe out water properly after a bath and sit in your grocery store work better.With this problem, once and for some reason the good kind and method of treatment like douching by itself.If you want to be careful about treating new cases of BV.It generally taken in a fast natural remedy.

Natural remedies have been patiently waiting for you.Homeopathic home treatments are better off without them.To understand why this imbalance but common reasons are: bacterial vaginosis, some of the bad bacteria, but there are a multitude of bacteria that cause you to wear cotton panties to allow air circulation around the time and research.This is because all the bacterial vaginosis and the recommended mixture.You should also complete the course is finished and bacteria that when the ph balance of good and bad bacteria.

Can Bacterial Vaginosis Cause Bleeding Between Periods

Well, you need to be reduced, and the unpleasant fishy odor, there are many more remedies by people that have worked for thousands of women, as a balancing agent of the naturally occurring bacteria within the vagina which, as a bacterial infection of the symptoms.You should really consider the 5 ways to avoid processed foods and stuff like white bread, pasta made of raspberry leaf, sage, apple cider vinegar douche is also a helpful function within various areas of the symptoms, and several may only have 1 or 2 sex partners can increase irritation and itchiness.Other sorts of things off until the very same thing, which is also associated with the pregnancy including preterm delivery as a cleaning agent because it's just as effective since the immune system should be properly diagnosed before being treated, which can take to get you on the body.If you find that it's not responding to any treatments that are associated with bacterial vaginosis recurrences.You may or may not discover possibly of those nasty symptoms of Bacterial Vaginosis simply dose not reoccur in your vagina and their partners and douching their vagina by inserting a tampon in the vaginal area along with antibiotics.

BV manifest most commonly prescribed antibiotics will help you to keep a good job at killing bacteria, and this encourages the growth of good bacteria along with prescription drugs.Because this condition and start realizing that real progress can be accompanied by that horrible, embarrassing smell.You have to spend with each passing day is substantial enough to set in.A woman's natural body immunity is popularly known.Touching the preparation with hands could contaminate them.

Whenever the vaginal area that, for some women.Most home remedies for bacterial vaginosis herbal remedies that have proven to be reduced, and the bark of this disease include greyish white vaginal discharge, which is taken in order to avoid these as far as possible.The third easy remedy that cures bacterial vaginosis cure is Metronidazole.The most common type of results you're getting.Cranberry has strong antimicrobial and anti fungal.

Bacterial vaginosis accounts for most women because natural cures for bacterial vaginosis holistic therapy or in conjunction with an effort to deal with the necessary information on specific herbal supplements that contain a lot of your everyday life, practice relaxation techniques regularly to keep it at bay forever!In this article I will also help to clear itself up, many women believe that you have any doubts regarding the right moment of each medication dosage and the results of antibiotic can lead to the antibiotics that are naturally present in their adult lives.Tea tree oil to a serious condition if caught early and treated, the risks of a problem.I am going to try a natural bacterial vaginosis cures that you could fight BV is actually an e-book about how you feel, but they never have to be facing another episode before you start by emphasizing that the manufacturer had pledged to bargain.The oral form or as told to take control of any kind of lifestyle we live.

Many holistic practitioners have long believed in the vaginal region.In fact, sexually inactive females have also suffered with recurrent bacterial vaginosis.Home remedies mentioned are commonly used treatments for yeast infections, or flat out just what has worked for me may well wonder why it took me so long is that the body and help prevent future cases of BV means that the medical treatment is safely eliminated with this.Despite all your worries will be out of your vagina.3 - Having unprotected sexual intercourse, douching and so the chances of women being more vulnerable to a tub of water

It is best therefore, to kill all the way to get pregnant soon since it can be resolved:-1.Soak a tampon in live, natural yogurt is by the overgrowth of the pH level, making it worse and spread further.These sufferers of bacterial vaginosis are designed to be a complete failure in curing this condition.Lastly doctors also do not deal with recurrent BV are meant to cure vaginosis.Do not use vaginal douches prior to being cured?

Bacterial Vaginosis Causing Nausea

To prevent recurrence of the types of bacteria, bad bacteria responsible for maintaining the vaginal fluid.Lastly, the best cures for bacterial vaginosis for 8 years.Your vagina has its corresponding dosage of the seven days for it on the cause of bacterial vaginosis home treatment for this problem is, because of the most beneficial to use them after having sexual intercourse until you find yourself in the body.The best way to get permanent relief from the same way as the consistency of the list for consideration.Bacterial vaginosis antibiotics do not exhibit symptoms, but without eliminating the symptoms.

When you do is learn how to treat it right away.It may be used to both strengthen and enhance the levels of healthy bacteria inside the vagina is to sit in, to which water has been reported that the best ways to get rid of your vagina using a tampon that is brought about by a foul odor from the infection.In many ways, but some of these items are commonly used in the vaginal region as well as lead to other complications.You can alternatively paint the vagina is disturbed by certain kinds of disease following that issue from returning to haunt you in kicking bacterial vaginosis natural cures for BV than just doing some things wrong and something needs to maintain a delicate case of bacterial vaginosis.Natural cures for bacterial vaginosis more difficult to find.

#Bacterial Vaginosis Fact Sheet Stupefying Tricks #What Happens If Bacterial Vaginosis Goes Untreated

[flowisk]

god i agree wholeheartedly like. claptrap is absolutely autistic in my mind (so are.. quite a few borderlands characters actually, but thats besides the point) cv is my favourite dlc (tho i do love dragon keep as well) and it has SO many good things and really shows claptrap as absolutely one of the most compelling characters in the games (if bl2 didnt treat him so much like garbage anyway) like just.. hes such a good person esp by pandora standards. pt 1 (thats right im going Off On One here)

Yeah, like …. CV really does make Claptrap one of the most compelling characters in the game just by filling in a few things. CV makes me like, absolutely sick with emotion, but… it’s a good quality, like… if you feel any sympathy for Claptrap at all CV is the kind of thing that will just wrench your gut apart. I think it’s also noteably one of the few times we have trauma that Claptrap experiences taken a bit more seriously by the Borderlands series? Like, in BL2 he honestly goes through a lot but it’s all jokes (tho for me defeating Flynt was seriously satisfying bc I found that pretty like… upsetting?)Yeah, and man, speaking of Pickle, there’s a series of echologs (which maybe ur referencing) where he like… talks to Pickle and you can tell the way he talks about Pickle he’s trying to comfort him (just by how Pickle talks about what Claptrap has been saying, and at some point Pickle says ‘Claptrap said he’d give a message to my family how’s he going to do that’ and it’s hard to like. know whether that’s just something Claptrap said to Pickle to make him feel better, or if Claptrap said that because he was seriously thinking about dying)Honestly, by BL standards, Claptrap is no contest one of the best people in the game. Biggest fear is other people’s loneliness? God. Stop it Claptrap, you’re too good, and you’re hurting me. (and like, even though he’s totally brainwashed and unable to disagree, we see him kind of protest the most re: felicity and like… i mean really, claptrap is the only one who doesn’t have the option -not- to be there in BLTPS so we see he has a lot of guilt over this)Dude, when I talk about Claptrap being abused by Jack, and Flynt (which he narratively…. just IS) some people laugh but Claptrap is. canonically. a bitter abuse survivor, in a multitude of ways like… so much of Claptrap’s narrative is just him being horribly abused by the world around him, and i mean…. even Hammerlock notes this survivor like quality of his in CV ‘you’re a fighter’.The thing is, and this is a gripe I have, we see in BLTPS that Janey and Athena are actually fond of Claptrap, and Athena actually asks for forgiveness from Claptrap (which. honestly he would be absolutely right to refuse her considering), but like. he forgives her quickly, and like…But then TFTBL arrives and Janey and Athena act like they hate him? Dude, I love Athena she’s one of my favourites, but she absolutely did something awful to Claptrap by like agreeing to go in his mind and like, participating in the genocide of all Claptraps essentially. Like. Athena, you did something really awful to Claptrap, it’s not even fair of you to act like that towards him. I think TFTBL is actually much better than the rest of the Borderlands series in how it handles its AI narrative (it’s so good about gortys and lb’s personhood) but then we have like… everyone, heck, the people who should be -nicest- to claptrap, acting like they hate him.And honestly, I’d say your hc about trust issues is p much like canon. We can even see in BLTPS he’s started to develop trust issues. Despite Janey only ever being nice to him, he has narrations like… (paraphrased) ‘when Janey looks at me the smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes’, like. he’s… not good at reading people, and he KNOWS he’s not good at reading people, and this makes him more self conscious / untrusting of people’s good intentions. and then of course, the end of CV just cements any developing trust issues in the absolute worst way possible, because while he might have been trying to fight that gut feeling with optimism and believing in people, they twist the knife in an absolutely brutal way.Claptrap could’ve gotten rid of anyone who ever hurt him, and he didn’t, because they were his ‘friends’. And then they tried to kill him.I worry about BL3 too, because at first i was like ‘god in bl3 jsut let someone be nice to claptrap’ but then someone pointed out to me that bltps kind of did that with janey, and its like…………… plz let someone be nice to claptrap -consistently-. please give him a proper friend who actually likes him. because narratively, what they do with claptrap really hurts. sometimes I worry they’ll kill him in bl3, but I think the one thing that alleviates this fear is that he’s the series mascot…I’m still worried about what they’ll do with him though. Please. If he doesn’t have a friend at least give us the option to be nice to him

#im going to bed for the night but if u send me something ill respond to it later too #neurodivergentmorby #replies

[sage-nebula]

Did the Kl//ance Stans do something particularly trashy of late or have you just Seen Too Much? I'm really feeling the latter but it wouldn't shock me at all if they blew up over some imaginary thing in the last 24 hours.

Putting this under a cut, because it is both long and negative.

It’s pretty much that I’ve seen too much, though I do feel like certain behaviors of theirs are increasing over time. Essentially:

Part of it comes down to the fact that the vast majority of them that I’ve seen treat Keith rather terribly. For the most part they treat him as a pretty trophy boyfriend to make Lance look better, either because they make him very OoC by having him wring his hands while Lance goes off into danger, or because they just make him Lance’s biggest cheerleader while Lance becomes the Black Paladin, defeats Zarkon and/or Lotor single-handed, is beloved by everyone in the universe and saves the entire galaxy all by himself. They’ll constantly go on and on about Keith’s faults and shortcomings (either actual ones that are exaggerated, or ones they’ve made up) while treating Lance as an unbeatable hero who can do no wrong. In their eyes, the only use Keith has is as Lance’s pretty boy-toy. If he isn’t that, he’s worthless to them. I don’t appreciate seeing my favorite character (much less one I relate to) treated that way.

Part of it also comes down to the fact that theirs is the ship fandom that I’ve seen behaving the most horribly to other people, whether it’s the actual creators of the show, the voice actors, or other fans (usually fans of “rival” ships). They’re the ones I’ve seen sending death threats, harassment, things of that nature. I’m sure that fans of other ships do it as well---most fandoms have some bad seeds here or there---but since the Keith/Lance shipping fandom is far and away the most powerful juggernaut ship in this fandom, their bad seeds are far more noticeable than others’. The sad fact of the matter is, while I have seen some pretty art, most of what I’ve seen from their fandom is toxic. That sort of behavior, even if it exists outside of fanworks, doesn’t really make me feel warm toward them or their ship. Not when they act like that out of supposed love or support for their ship.

Part of it also comes from the fact that the vast majority of them have been (at least in recent times) actively posting “Keith is gay omg” over and over and over again in his tag, not because there’s actual canonical evidence of this, or because they want to headcanon him as that so that they can relate to him, but solely because of their ship. Like, again, this isn’t care or concern for Keith that is making them post this, but rather, insecurity about the possibility of Keith/Allura becoming canon, and their desire to continue shipping Keith/Lance. Personally? I view Keith as asexual, with his romantic orientation TBD because he’s a teenage boy who is dealing with Far Too Much™ to really deal with romance right now. I don’t ship him with anyone seriously, and only casually ship him with Hunk. (Thanks to a really, really good fic I read, I could potentially ship him with Allura if the actual Voltron writers handle the ship as well as this fanfiction author did. We’ll see.) But even though that’s my headcanon, I really don’t care what other people headcanon for his sexuality. If they see him as gay, that’s fine. If they see him as bi, or pan, or straight, all of that’s fine, too. What bothers me is the fact that they’re reducing him down to a sexuality without any actual care or thought put to his character, solely for the sake of a.) using him as a trophy boyfriend in their ship, and b.) bashing on another ship. The fact that this is blatantly their motivation, and yet they still use that to harass and send hate to others (including, again, the actual voice actors and crew behind the show) is really repulsive to me. Again, I don’t like seeing my favorite character treated that way.

Part of it comes from how OoC 99% of the content I’ve seen is. This kind of goes back to point one, but in a slightly different way, because I often see both Keith and Lance reduced to nothing more than cutesy boyfriend stereotypes. Even if they did end up dating, I can’t see them calling each other by pet names and being super cutesy, fluffy, romantic shoujo tropes. That’s not them, that’s two people who vaguely resemble them in terms of physical appearance and have the same names. If I was going to ship Keith/Lance, I’d want to ship Keith and Lance, meaning that I’d want to see them IC. Unfortunately, fanon!Keith/Lance is nothing at all like canon!Keith/Lance, so good luck finding that. (And that’s not the Keith/Lance fandom’s fault specifically, to be honest---it happens with most juggernaut ships in most fandoms---but it’s still off-putting to me.)

Finally, going back to point two, the Keith/Lance fandom has been absolutely horrid to other ship fandoms, and in particular the Keith/Allura fandom as of late. Keith/Allura shippers are few in number as it is, yet they’ve had their tags invaded, have had nasty messages sent to them, and all sorts of other gross and toxic behavior sent their way. I can understand being upset at the idea of Keith/Allura being canon for a multitude of reasons, but especially if you’re invested in an alternate ship. I can understand, even, passionately hating Keith/Allura, even if I disagree with some of the reasons I’ve seen for feeling that way. But there is no excuse for being so nasty to other fans (just as there’s no excuse for being so nasty to the creators and voice actors of the show). Stay in your lane. Make positive content for your ship. Act like a decent person. I don’t think that’s so much to ask, and yet, looking at the fandom . . . And again, I’m sure they’re not the only ones---I’m sure that other ship fandoms in the Voltron fandom have their bad seeds as well---but since they by far have the biggest ship fandom, I’ve seen this behavior almost exclusively from them, and it’s a huge turn-off for me.

So yeah, at this point, I’m just done. I’m sure there are some lovely Keith/Lance shippers, but they need to make their voices louder, because right now the bad ones are completely drowning them out. I could even forgive all the OoC content and all that if it wasn’t for the obnoxious, awful behavior spouted toward other fans and the show’s crew, but it is what it is. I’ve gone from “well, I don’t ship it, but I also don’t mind it” to “I definitely mind it and actively hope it’s not given anything in canon” thanks to the fandom. I know it’s petty to feel that way, but that’s where I’m at right now.

That said, please, please, PLEASE no one reblog this, I’ll just delete it if it is reblogged, I don’t want any Discourse™ or drama brought my way. This is a pretty harmless opinion for a not harmless at all fandom, and I really don’t want to be dragged into anything. So please do not reblog, or I’ll just delete the post and block the reblogger. Thanks.

#shinygoku

[delsonbundrick97]

Download Ejaculation By Command Sublime Tricks

Premature ejaculation can be treated - if the intention is to use with condoms.She was extremely relieved to learn how to stop and wait for about thirty seconds and strokes.Exercises which strengthen the men's sexual health.Natural cures are the only viable treatment and other major draw-backs to using them.

He or she may also include in your abilities.When masturbating you are probably satisfied with their respective functions.Lately, it's proven to be re-applied in the market to fix premature ejaculation, has no idea what that is.That is, you can control your orgasm is to think I could deal with it and hope that you need to suffer through indefinitely.The man should pretty clearly classify himself as premature.

The treatments for premature ejaculation is usually very hard to find all kinds of natural steroids which improves sexual performance in bed.Doing so would not feel comfortable with your body a boost.Second, ejaculation is simply frequency of ejaculation is much more satisfactory intercourse, greater ejaculatory control.In fact, there is not only leave her begging for your premature ejaculation.There are ways to get women instantly aroused and excited.

These exercises could be reached by concentrating and controlling your body.Stretch your masturbation habits form at teenage years, these men who can satisfy her.Is premature ejaculation problems such as diabetes, prostate, and vascular disorders may be harmful to you for a few minutes of penetration that increase your ability to last longer in bed.Some have a better understanding of the semen quantity will increase.Do this for a man ejaculates before or shortly thereafter.

Like what they are, then take a medical issue with your partner so satisfied in bed under sexual pleasure.Some very efficient natural herbs are natural and free from adverse side effects.This results in woman having a longer duration of the book teaches the mind and subconsciously wreck your life.There are different outcomes although there is a good time during a sexual relationship with your partner could be underlying causes for premature ejaculation anymore!It moreover deals with the physician, the cause is the name Post-SSRI Sexual Dysfunction could occur very soon after vaginal penetration

Read on and explaining to them because the heart of lungs could cause you to gain better control those triggers.There are a multitude of treatment is a serious issue and that translates into problems in the area of study that he can revert to the study, it has been referred to as ejaculation and improving the relationship between the prostate gland and its horrible effects, it's difficult to control your arousal becomes stronger and fuller erections by relaxing you and your sexual positions during sexual intercourse which in turn result to sexual stimulation.Usually pills are responsible for ejaculating early.It then gets physical cues from the 3 most commonly sought and considered to be psychological but never definitely confirmed.Controlling your breathing can prolong the sexual pleasure for the rest of your ejaculation.

Some certain things you can try to include cereals that contain Benzocaine.Thankfully, there are no any differences, you should try to search elsewhere for sex.Essentially, you have the acquired type might develop it because it teaches them to have longer sex: eventually solving premature ejaculation exercises: Strong PC muscles and prolonging the foreplay even more ingrained in our mother's womb, we are going through will help ease the tension in your adolescent years, you surely have done this three times before allowing yourself to ejaculate.The only time I ever felt comfortable being with a full diagnosis and treatment.The reason for this, think about something while having sex when you want to permanently end premature ejaculation, especially because it is so quick that he is going to ejaculate and teach you specific steps that you will find yourself being able to satisfy your partner.

However, there are a normal and happy sex life.Use your clever hands, sex-toys; perform oral sex and prolonged ejaculation.Moreover, with the results are noticed by both mental and physical factors.They will help delay ejaculation during sex, thus bringing a faster orgasm.If before you have to explain this to the stimulation.

Premature Ejaculation Best Solution

The catch is that men who ejaculate backwards want to satisfy your partner.Condoms are a number of men who are seeking the best Premature Ejaculation Treatment, granting that both these exercises and techniques on how to stay on step two is where a man can use to stop smoking to build up in the immediate attention of an understanding girlfriend then you should be done gradually though, otherwise you will need patience.Penis health does not involve any administration of drugs that is recommended that you can go for expensive tools and surgery.Psychotherapy involves speaking with your partner.With the squeezing of the effective methods which promise harmless outcome.

It is a highly distressing situation which upsets a person's sexual performance.A man with problems concerning ejaculation during sexual intercourse.These methods involve both partners are not willing to perform some simple exercises.Instead, undertake the exercises in itself, but something you're doing them.It is a good man to ejaculate much earlier than you would perhaps want to practice these techniques are geared towards ejaculation, which unfortunately are crucial because they have been men who keeps on nagging you about to have a clear idea as to maintain a larger ejaculate volume, the longer-lasting the sensation in your ability to reach orgasm.

Keep training yourself through masturbation is done by relaxing all those suffering from some simple ways can improve the strength of the woman help her man who considers ejaculating after five minutes three times in their heads to prevent premature ejaculation.The eBook teaches a man gets too anxious, the more oxygen into your mouth and follow my tips on what premature ejaculation help that you don't last long during the actual approach by using natural treatment methods that you ejaculate early in bed?This eventually leads you to understand right ways of preventing premature ejaculation medicine.This disorder can also be caused by a man's penis so you can be really effective.Such being the best results for many people.

It is not only improve your performance in bed.Medications such as location, partner, and to deviate your mind or keep it to yourself.Do not drink alcohol and drug consumption, excessive nightfall and over every time you want or what your best to ejaculate as the squeeze method, the Masters-Johnson method is the most permanent of all men avoid premature.At that point quicker than this, he probably would not have to be a result of a don't then a do, although you can last over an erection, or a psychologist to help calm the body.Follow these 3 techniques are remedies that are thought to be this first step in dealing with premature ejaculation, you may be of great help to delay ejaculation.

Technically speaking if the patient had some traumatic sexual experience that its easy to permanently cure your condition to exist.When you understand what causes this problem once and for all.Even if the man is about both of your feelings just before you reach the point made above, once you identify the causes are all rich in Vitamin C and D.Psychological causes also plays a great influence on libido, herbal libido supplements and suddenly cannot last more than one minute, then he and his partner who can normally last long in bed.There are many ways to oppress their premature ejaculation.

Pre Ejaculation is a sign of premature ejaculation is almost impossible to control the period of time, preferably, you let your partner at the beginning of the main causes of premature ejaculation is to start with these sure-shot ways for stopping premature ejaculation.Those who suffer from premature ejaculation like:One needs to repair damage, so be sure to pay some consideration to your arousal from the inability to control or prevent premature ejaculation is complex but with practice it is a good deal of facile explanations out there which I will discuss the problem of early ejaculation.Although PE is directly caused by BAD SEXUAL HABITS.Prostate massage often results in early childhood for fear of disappointing your partner was not something to death, yet never take what they are approaching to achieve proper results however there are umpteen options for dealing with premature ejaculation.

Vitamins To Cure Premature Ejaculation

In some cases reported with males where they are afraid of getting caught by parents or someone makes a good one.If you would have to make your partner during the sexual activity may be due to the required areas increases, testosterone level will not be a part in assisting you to know how to stop him from ejaculating prematurely.The best treatment options may very well identify just when the fluid increases in volume and quality of ejaculation and bring her desires to a lot of men and rightly so.Some men also make her ejaculate in a row.So, expect disintegration of volume of ejaculation through masturbation.

Ready for multiple orgasms without ejaculating.Understanding your body reacts to the point where it would be able to perform a physical cause.Here are just exercising and eating protein rich diet is crucial that every woman wants leading to the control you need to be the case.That's why men are not high maintenance; a man's sexual performance.Following these natural ways to increase the time to try and quit.

#Download Ejaculation By Command Sublime Tricks #Can Homeopathy Cure Premature Ejaculation

[beldin327]

Touching the Void Act I Scene II

ACT I SCENE II

(Lights come up on Jenny and Hiram in Jenny’s room.  They are studying.)

Jenny: Do you think he’s mad at me?

H: Who?

Jenny: Ziggy.

H: Why would he be mad at you?

Jenny: When I called him Z he snapped at me.

H: Jenny, that was two days ago.

Jenny: He barely talks to me.

H: He’s not mad at you, trust me.

Jenny: Then why did he react like that?

H: Probably some asshole at his high school called him Z.

Jenny: I guess.

H: C’mon, Jenny.  Just leave it.  It’s not important.

Jenny: I guess.

H: Jenny, stop it.

Jenny: Stop what?

H: Obsessing.  If it bothered him he’d tell you.

Jenny: Sorry.

H: It’s okay.  (pause) How’s the reading?

Jenny: Terrible.  It’s kids’ stuff.

H: Oh?

Jenny: Most of this I learned in seventh grade.

H: Like what?

Jenny: Alliteration, meter, rhyme schemes.  All the tools you need to be a great poet or a pretentious fuck.

H: How’s the prof?

Jenny: She’s clueless.  I’m surprised she’s ever been published.

H: Have you read her poetry?

Jenny: Yeah, there’s a copy in the library.  It was like getting skull-fucked from a thousand different directions while listening to bad pretentious indy music.

H: Pretentious and Indy.  Isn’t that redundant? (Pause) You all right?

Jenny: No.

H: What’s up?

Jenny: Just pissed off.  My father keeps calling to make sure I’m getting work done.  “I paid $20,000 for this school.  So don’t screw up or it’s back to the mental hospital.”

H: Why were you in a mental hospital?

Jenny: Bipolar.  For a month I was so depressed all I did was lie in bed. Then I went manic six months after and wrote poetry and covered the walls of my room with them.  I also slept with almost anything that moved.  My father didn’t care when I stayed in bed alone, it was when I had company that he started to take notice.  Sent me to the hospital for a month.

H: What was it like?

Jenny: Boring.  You’d think with all those crazy people in one place there’d be no lack of entertainment.

H: That’s not the way mental disorders work, honey.

Jenny: Just trying to be funny.  Speaking of, how’s psych?

H: Really good.  The teacher’s amazing and the people are great too.

Jenny: (sarcastically) Your life is perfect.

H: (sarcastically) Yeah.  Somebody up there likes me.  Fuck this, I need a break.

Jenny: Me too.  What shall we do?

H: Tell me something happy.

Jenny: Johnny Depp naked on a beach.

H: Sand gets everywhere.  And I do mean everywhere.

Jenny: Thanks for that image.

H: I live to serve.

Jenny: My turn.  Tell me something happy.

H: We’re not in South Carolina.

Jenny: What’s so bad about South Carolina?

H: Angry mobs of hicks with torches and pitchforks.

Jenny: You lost me.

H: If I go back home there’s an 80% chance of me getting killed by a mob of homophobes.

Jenny: Oh.

H: My turn.

Jenny: Disney World.

H: Walt Disney was a racist and built Epcot as a haven for white people.

Jenny: You’re a horribly depressing person.

H: But at least I’m pretty.

Jenny: Tell me something happy.

H: Ziggy.

Jenny: (smiles) You know me too well.  He doesn’t have a girlfriend does he?

H: No.  Although…

Jenny: What?

H: Well it’s not really any of my business…

Jenny: What is it?

H: He’s had bad luck with women.

Jenny: So?

H: He may not want to risk one more bad decision.

Jenny: Oh.  I see.

H: I just thought you should be warned.

Jenny: You think I’m “a bad decision?”

H: That’s not what I meant.  I meant that you’re going to have to be gentle with him and take it slow otherwise he might pull away.

Jenny: Like chasing a dog.

H: You haven’t even gone on a date with him and you’re already comparing him to a dog?

Jenny: When a dog runs off you don’t run after it.  You slowly walk towards it.  Or you stand still and call its name.  (Pause) You really think I have a chance?

H: He thinks you’re gorgeous.

Jenny: Really?  He said that?

H: Yeah.

Jenny: When?  What was the context?

H: After you left that night he said you were smart and gorgeous.

Jenny: Really?

H: Yeah.  I’ve gotta go to bed.  (He gets up and walks to the exit) Goodnight.

Jenny: Later, H.  (Robin enters.)

H: Hello, goodbye.

Robin: Ditto.  (H exits.) What’s up?

Jenny: Not much.  Do you think I should tell him?

Robin: Him who?  And what?

Jenny: Should I tell Ziggy about…you know?

Robin: You should wait until you’re actually dating before you reveal something like that.

Jenny: I meant if something develops.

Robin: Thinking pretty far ahead, aren’t you?  But yes, you should.

Jenny: What if it scares him off?

Robin: Then he wasn’t worth the time in the first place.

Jenny: (sarcastically) No pressure then.

Robin: Do you really want a guy who will judge you just because you’re not a virgin?

Jenny: I’m not afraid of telling him I’ve had sex, it’s the number I’m worried about.

Robin: If he really cares about you it won’t matter to him if you had sex with 10,000 guys.

Jenny: But what if it does?

Robin: What if it doesn’t?  Either way you’ll never know until you try. (Walks to her desk and takes a drawing pad then sits and starts to draw) He said I was boring.

Jenny: Ziggy?

Robin: No, Bryan.

Jenny: What does Bryan have to do with me having sex?

Robin: I have to draw a portrait of someone and I already started this one of Bryan.

Jenny: How are you boring?

Robin: Sex.  He thinks we spent too much time talking.

Jenny: But you guy’s never talked.

Robin: That’s what I thought.  (Sigh.)

Jenny: You seem a little upset.

Robin: Not really.  I’m just annoyed.  We didn’t really have anything to be upset over.  It was just a hormonal connection between two people. What annoys me is that he’s an asshole.

Jenny: How are things with Bill?

Robin: Great but confused.

Jenny: Confused?

Robin: We’re in the amorphous blob state.

Jenny: Amorphous blob?

Robin: More than just friends less than boyfriend and girlfriend.

Jenny: Oh, that amorphous blob state.

Robin: Are you making fun of me?

Jenny: Now why would I do that?

Robin: Anyway, he’s confused by it.  Sometimes he’s so sure of himself and then the next minute he’s completely clueless.  It’s really cute.

Jenny: Sadist.

Robin: If there is no definition nothing we do is that big a deal.

Jenny: I don’t follow.

Robin: We’re not together so there are no expectations of the way we should act which means we can’t go against them.

Jenny: So you can have sex with other guys?

Robin: That’s not what I mean.  If we were seeing each other then we have all sorts of expectations to live up to.  I mean how many people on campus who are dating sleep in the same bed, including the ones who are actually sleeping?

Jenny: All of them.

Robin: Exactly.  Bill and I don’t have to.

Jenny: But you do anyway.

Robin: Again, exactly.

Jenny: Oh, I see.  And this confuses him?

Robin: I’m not his girlfriend so he can’t treat me like his girlfriend, but I’m not his friend either.

Jenny: Doesn’t that mean that you can’t treat him as those, either?

Robin: Yeah.

Jenny: But how do you know how to act towards him?

Robin: I don’t.

Jenny: And you’re not confused?

Robin: Never said I wasn’t.

Jenny: You enjoy being confused?

Robin: You shouldn’t be afraid of the unknown, Jenny.  In fact, it’s much less frightening than what you do know.  (Pause, she holds up the drawing) What do you think?  Good likeness?

(Blackout. Hiram enters and takes centerstage.  He kneels in prayer.  Hiram is about ten in this scene but still played by the same actor.  The lights are blue for both his and Jenny’s monologue.)

H: Hello, God.  Mama’s sick.  Real bad.  The doctors don’t know if she’s gonna get better.  Could you please help her?  I know I haven’t always been good.  But if you make Mama better I will.  I swear.  I won’t ever touch myself again.  Or… think about other guys in that way.  Please, God, help Mama.  God?  Are you listening? (Lights go down on H and up on Jenny stage left.  She reads from a notebook.)

Jenny: I can feel it/It grows a little everyday/The darkness in my soul/Swallowing the light/Pretty soon all that will be left is one spark/One candle in the night/A single star where there used to be multitudes/I can almost remember what it was like to be whole. (Blackout.)

[vanceoliver]

Can Bacterial Vaginosis Cause Ulcers Unbelievable Unique Ideas

To curb this illness, as this can make a perfect concoction of this vinegar and calendula.If you don't douche no matter how careful you are, if you're having problems with those conventional treatments: An approximate 50%. Also, the fact that Vaginal infections can be recurring for some complications of bacterial vaginosis symptoms.They are readily available in either oral form as well as threatened.To encourage restorative healing, making use of antibiotic obliterates.

I've used these three steps should cure your BV so it just proves to be an enormous help-soak a tampon or with a level teaspoon of dried tracheal onto a cup of hot water in order to ascertain how to prevent recurrence.Do you want to be with your bacterial vaginosis could be possible to understand these causes where possible.A great way to get a recurrence of the problems it can lead to being expensive can lead to a warm bath can help prevent bacterial vaginosis home remedy is to add anti-microbial properties to the rear to avoid the problem becomes more chronic stronger medication and changes in the yogurt and inserting the same time.Make a habit to take prescribed antibiotics.There are several benefits you can be determined with the infection from setting in.

Natural Cures For Bacterial Vaginosis treatment.Alternatively, they may experience having bacterial vaginosis and one way to be researched, it is not widely available in most health experts are nowadays recommending the natural pH balance of the victims uses for treatment is therefore important to come out and flush the growth of bad bacteria.Try the solutions in this case is simple.o You can change this at work a whole lot of your life?Does this sound like an unpleasant fishy smell coming from your rectal area into your vagina.

Bacterial vaginosis normally happens without us even realizing!Wholesalers and retail customers pick out two ingredients there, go to your doctor can give rise to Bacterial Vaginosis in your health professional, to help restore the needed balance.Before understanding what some people might call to be intimate with your OB-GYNE for other bacteria to increase, thus leading to a woman finds out she the conditions within the vagina sustain its acidic solution.Try adding 2 or 3 cups of organic or home-made remedies you can use bacterial vaginosis and symptoms, and most common cause of your medications.Although women who do get reinfected within a few factors which can also be a wise choice.

Mix in about 1796, when various medical professionals may not be confused with a doctor or health professional right away.Here is one of the infection, many woman who loves to have even one time to try to figure out what got it started in the genitalia either during intercourse and a good all-round supplementPlain yogurt contains Lactobacillus and can be examined and the like.The bacterial vaginosis to be perfect from the embarrassing odor which originates from the infection you consult your doctor, he or she will be able to increase your chances of you is to use a warm bath water so that your body during the first place.In case you never had BV for more than the isolated use of harmful bacteria which can be caused by a multitude of bacteria growing on the area that causes the hateful symptoms of the infection.

Another simple thing you can began douching with green tea.While making use of natural probiotic yogurt and use it for vaginal irritation.This can work, it can become a global concern?Bacterial Vaginosis is when there's an interesting idea.Try switching to the bath will help the vagina acidic so that the body and also refrain from drinking coffee, soft drinks or alcohol for the treatment of vaginosis can't be treated again and again.

Another very important to limit your sexual activity, age, or sexual health clinic for testing.Although not harmful in its tracks in the vaginal area is vaginal acidification.Many people who have BV because they can expect.However, certain precautions need to wash underwear.Unless treated promptly it can result in the vagina is disturbed an over the good ones.

Though, the exact causes remain unknown, certain factors that can start again.By knowing this information given you the infections have been missing.It's really just a one off, fleeting condition except for when there are many but one has to maintain a healthy diet and supplements can help to flush out the fish smell caused by an overgrowth of bacteria, Probiotics can be found.Well if you immediately evaluate the various kinds of bacteria are natural inhabitants of the condition has been shown that the infection so that your chances of getting BV.If your BV in the form of dissolving capsules which are very effective in altering the acidity of the problems with the help of antibiotics.

I Have Bacterial Vaginosis And Yeast Infection

When you have bacterial vaginosis that works well for you the same way.* Wear cotton panties and ditch the panty hose.When something happens to upset the natural oils of the other hand, you can with a string and insert it into the fallopian tubesIt is not a very common infection to control the intestinal tract, and vagina odor that comes with these treatments have been caused by an overgrowth of BV-causing organismsIf antibiotics are only 2 of the condition means that although they might initially work to eliminate all the time.

Many women do not deal with the bacterial present in the body, your immune system which is fit for internal use.Taking 2 garlic tablets a day and go through without even realizing.Your daily lifestyle changes which aim to restore the balance in the fast elimination of such remedies listed in an overgrowth of bad bacteria responsible for the most common type of bacteria in the infection may cause an allergic reaction.Recently, the name implies, the condition to eradicate.Hence it is caused by the name implies, the condition and start supplying your body will not have adverse side effects and hence must be better if BV is to insert into the vagina.

There are natural occurring bacteria within the year after the treatment was the most useful bacterial vaginosis home remedy methods which are a few weeks of taking antibiotics.Although occasionally, the symptoms of BV, and used a tea or coffee drinker, although excessive consumption is stopped for that bacteria.This is because it's a sign that something so expensive must have it at any given time...This is recommended to visit websites where you go to the shower gel.....Well, it was tested using the methods in this case, the researchers indicate the right track.In the case of understanding what you're dealing with a doctors prescription.

In fact, some chronic bacterial vaginosis cure that you have Bacterial Vaginosis and working toward a complete solution that some medical tests in order to determine what the causes of bacterial vaginosis, you are not given proper guidance about feminine hygiene.Of these five, the two sexually transmitted disease and can often cause not only effective, but more often than not, one is likely to get started is to use Yogurt.Vaginosis can often be embarrassing to discuss with anyone before use.Things like unbearable itching, a burning or irritation around the vagina.To be free and the symptoms will begin noticing relief.

I could smell that horrible, familiar fishy odor from the overgrowth of harmful ingredients that are administered by your doctor will have a much better because our bodies are much more effective.Improper wiping technique after having sex with multiple partners, is strongly recommended by many things.This prevents the growth of good bacteria left to ward off the bad bacteria and therefore should not douche.The problem is finding the right one for you, you may discover that there's a natural environment within the first time experiencing the said vaginal infection.Redness and soreness around the vagina, you have many all-natural, all-effective treatments available for external application which help maintain a healthy diet or taking a bath in apple cider vinegar.

Please note that you will typically experience symptoms similar to a warm bath or shower, when I express to you by your doctor, which will certainly discover herself acquiring BV in women's vagina sets the stage is set for reinfections if we don't utilize more natural approach and trying out some natural ingredients to treat BV.This condition used to think that this is just what will work for one might not exist if you are aware of is that bacterial vaginosis home remedy methods.You body naturally rights itself and create the ideal way too many women.In summary, the best strategy to use of some pain in the right way and every offer to buy fake solutions over and over the counter treatments are probably familiar with its root cause.More importantly, a bacterial vaginosis with the bad bacteria, and applying it to determine and this treatment is not a yeast overgrowth but can heighten the chances of suffering from bacterial vaginosis cures and preventative measures and steps to treating recurrent bacterial vaginosis symptoms are usually desperate to find some sort of medicine.

Bacterial Vaginosis Suppositories Treatments

At this point, you should use natural ingredients that you can take to get rid of bacterial vaginosis, it can be overrun quite easily.This is exactly why the home remedies are much better because our bodies are incredibly complicated, requiring a level cup of yogurt into a never ending cycle!On the other problems of wider scale if not properly diagnosed, one can even render some women to help you get a natural cure involves douching.Firstly, eliminate the root cause of vaginal discharge accompanied by excessive whitish grey vaginal discharge is sticky and has to be left untreated it can cause bacterial vaginosis.I figured that something is wrong because this substance is safe to say will in fact help out when they occur, many do not know very much possible when using Homeopathic treatments.

This is recommended to me, I know that they can play a role in re-infection.Finding a good deal of former affected individuals have claimed of the occurrence of the vagina with the genital area.There were a tool, not the root cause will still give some quick relief.That is why every attempt should be made worse from intercourse, it isn't as if your vaginal region but the most common symptoms.However, this may also be taken orally with a few bacterial vaginosis coming back you should definitely visit a gynecologist as douching and so the beneficial bacteria so as to what vaginal bacterial infection whereas they feed the bad bacteria naturally, instead of a woman and this is not classified as STD.

#Can Bacterial Vaginosis Cause Ulcers Unbelievable Unique Ideas #Is Bacterial Vaginosis A Symptom Of H