#that when faced with a choice between 'admit to yourself you made a catastrophic mistake'

[tzviaariella]

@vashtijoy YOU. YOU GET IT.

#death note #'he's a sociopath' 'he's an idealist' no he was a teenager who was told so often that he was brilliant and exemplary #that when faced with a choice between 'admit to yourself you made a catastrophic mistake' #and 'find a way to justify it to yourself as necessary and brilliant and intentional' #sacrificing his moral center was the easier blow for his self-concept to absorb #something something classical tragedy for the modern era #fascinating fucked up boy of all time

[jungcity]

love, eternal. | vi

genre: reincarnation!au, fallen angel!au

[supernatural!au-ish, angst, use of blunts and intoxicants, extra asshole jaehyun, smut, vulgar words]

pairing: jung jaehyun x reader

words: 10k

note: hello, loves!! here is chapter vi, sorry if it took a while for me to finish this one. i hope you enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it.

ps.: special thanks to @cherr-e for helping me edit the chapters of this series! i'd always remember your kindness!

part v

“Thou shall bear a love for one soul in a thousand faces,

And suffer as the face cease to exist but the soul, perpetually.”

Jaehyun was a soldier. But instead of a village, it was your heart that he’s pillaged after the war— leaving it empty and burning.

Catastrophic, he was. You should have seen it in his eyes, you should have heard it in his lips. But like the good, naïve girl that you are, you forgot about the devil once he’s touched your lips with his.

The shattering of your heart is as loud as the collision of coffee mugs against the floor, the only difference is that the mugs are heard but your heart isn’t. How cruel it is, to see something like this early in the morning. How tragic it is, to be hurt like this by someone who is as close as a stranger to you— or perhaps you to him.

You wanted to pick out all the littered shards of the mugs, close your hands around them just to feel their sharp edges on your palms and make it bleed. By doing so, Jaehyun would not bother to question if you ever cry. But you can’t move, your body feel listless.

“S-sorry. I’ll go get the cleaner.”

It’s appalling how have you mustered the strength to make your feet move even if your bones feels heavy. With trembling fingers, you dialed for the maintenance number, inhaling a deep breath before talking. You know you need to go to the comfort room, and perhaps in its white tiles and bright lights, you’ll find the silence your mind demands.

“Do not cry, do not fucking cry. For fuck’s sake, it’s eight-thirty a.m. in the morning, Y/N.” You repeated the sentences until you’re inside the comfort room. For the first time since you started working for Jaehyun, you thanked the emptiness of the floor. You do not have to worry yourself about someone walking in on you trying to collect your last bit of sanity.

The mirror was bright, reflecting even all the pores in your face. You look fucking miserable; eyes red from the tears that’s begging to come out, lips trembling from forcing yourself not to cry. But you will never cry. You are stronger than what you saw in Jaehyun’s office. I will not cry. It was hard to breathe, yes, but you inhaled air despite the burning pain in your throat and in your chest from trying your hardest not to fall apart.

What was that? You asked the reflection on the mirror. Were you that naïve? To even let your mind think that what transpired between you and Jaehyun could mean something? Could mean anything at all? Your trip to Paris felt like an ages ago. You should have known better then. You should have never held his hands, or you should have not let him tuck the strands of your hair behind your ear. You should have just looked away when he stared at you as if you were the moon on a clear night sky. Instead, you dared yourself stare at the halo in his eyes. Now, you’re burning because of your own folly.

“This is nothing. Act like you didn’t see anything,” For the last time, you take a deep breath. “Let’s get to work,” Then you walk back to your own table.

The cleaner inclined his head at you as a sign of greeting, he carries a mop and a pail of water. By the bluriness of the water you could tell that he’s done cleaning up the floors.

Now, what? Do I go inside and ask them if they need anything? I should make them coffee again, right?

You pushed your chair away, sighing as you’ve decided to continue your work. If there’s one thing Jung’s Fiscals have taught you, that is professionalism. Feelings are not needed in the work ethic. Sure, you could try to drown yourself from alcohol tonight but you need to keep your sanity intact today. You just need to get through this day.

It feels like the world is on your shoulders as you walk towards the door, your arms holding the tray again. This time, you’re certain it would not fall. When you successfully opened the door, you kept your head staring straight at the view outside. You whispered a silent thanks when you saw them promped on the sofa, not kissing or touching each other, with the girl giggling to whatever Jaehyun said on her ear.

“Good morning, Sir.” Just smile, Y/N. Smile like it’s your birthday. Your lips stretched into the widest smile it could make, hoping it’s enough to convince Jaehyun you weren’t affected by the little staunt he pulled on you. “Good morning, Miss…?” You turned your head to the woman, maintaing your smile as you did so.

She returned the smile, her pearlescent teeth flashing. “Call me Miss Mina.” Then she stretched out her hand to you, you didn’t have any choice but to shake hands with her. “Nice to meet you,” said she.

It’s your second time catching them on the ‘act’ (well you didn’t the first time, you just watched her gave Jaehyun a handjob) but there isn’t an ounce of embarrassment in her face as she smiles at you now. It also doesn’t seem like she remembers you from Jaehyun’s penthouse.

“Nice to meet you too, Miss Mina. I’m Y/N. Mr. Jung’s secretary.” The reality tastes bitter in your mouth. Perhaps it is why you’re hurting right now. You forgot your position in Jaehyun’s life, you forgot that you’re just his secretary and nothing more.

“How about dinner tonight, huh?” Jaehyun asked her by snaking his arms on her waist, trying to bite her ear. She giggles and tries to push him away, but she nodded her head nonetheless, telling your boss that it’s a good idea.

You felt the familiar tightening on your throat, causing you to swallow with the hopes to wash it away. Staring at them feels like staring at the sun, it hurt your eyes.

“Is there anything I could do for you, Sir? Miss?”

Jaehyun just brushed you off like a fly, “Go.” He said. He didn’t even look at you.

You settled the mugs on the small table, not daring to peek on what the both of them are currently doing. After what seems like forever, you finally departed the office, leaving them to continue their kissing.

Tons of e-mails were sent to Jaehyun’s inbox when you opened the mail. They were all about business; some from Johnny, from Taeyong, and from Hendery. You knew Hendery from Johnny’s party. His features are sharp, with a good sense of humor. It’s a shame that you didn’t had the chance to converse with him.

As you click everywhere in the mail, your phone vibrated on the table. A message from Yuta.

[Are you busy?]

[No, why?]

[Can I talk to you later?]

You shifted on your seat, pondering about his offer. It’s been weeks since you last talked to him and you know it’s time to sit and have a conversation with Yuta.

[Sure. Text me the loc.]

Jaehyun’s office door swung open the same moment you kept your phone. He had his arm on Mina’s shoulder.

“Cancel all my schedules for today,” He said.

You glanced at the alarm clock. It’s only ten-thirty in the morning and he’s got a meeting at twelve noon.

“Sir, what would I tell Mr. Kang about your meeting?”

Oh, for God’s sake Mina, couldn’t you keep your hands to yourself? Mina’s touching Jaehyun’s stomach, probably feeling the hard muscles on his abdomen. You blushed as you remembered the image of his body on the night you shared in London.

“Re-schedule it. Tell him I’ve got something more important to do.” At his last sentence, he looked at Mina— ready to devour the girl any time soon. The woman giggled underneath his stare. You wanted to retch.

“Alright, Sir. Take—”

But he’s already walking away. Not bothering to hear you.

—

You agreed to meet Yuta at your go-to fast-food chain when you were still in college, fifteen-minutes away from Jung’s Fiscals. College students could be seen eating as well as young couples. The restaurant gives the vibe of that of a resto style, that’s why it’s popular among teenagers. The couches were the only thing that’s changed after all these years, but the nostalgic feeling still lingers in the air once you stepped inside.

Yuta stood up from his seat the moment you locked eyes with him, waving his hand to you wearing his bright smile. You couldn’t stop but remember the times the both of you would have your dates in the fast-food chain with your silly young heart bouncing every time you see him waiting for you. How long has it been and how happy you were back then.

“Hi,” Yuta greeted.

You sat across from him, “Hi.”

There’s already food on the table when you arrived. It is the same food you always get every time you eat with him.

“The food’s still warm, I hope you don’t mind me ordering for you.” He softly tells you while pushing the food your way. You pick on it while waiting for him to say something.

“I know I was an asshole towards your boyfriend—” Oh, yes. Yuta thinks Jaehyun is your boyfriend. It made you feel even worse. “and I know I made a mistake. I just want to say sorry to you. And to him. But mostly to you, I know you were scared and shocked.” He stated. “I just want us… to reconcile. Be friends again. I know your heart belongs to someone else now, and it’s not my goal to interfere with your happiness, Y/N.” He sighed. “I miss you, as my friend.”

You bit your lips. Here you are again, being emotional as a baby. But you have to admit that you missed having Yuta as a friend. He was someone who you could lean on when life got tough on you back then. He was your wall, your strength, your one reason to keep moving. You knew all he wanted was to make you happy.

“I miss you, too.” You smiled despite of your trembling lips. He gave you a sweet smile while he held your hand on the table.

“Oh, before I forgot, here.” He brought a pamphlet on the table, offering it to you.

“I know it’s been ages since the three of us had gone to an adventure. I’ve already invited Soojin, she told me she’d say yes if you do.”

You stared at the pamphlet, reading the text printed out on the paper. Mountain hiking. Nature. Forest. Perfect for your current emotional state. It is exactly what you need, so without much of a thinking, you said yes.

—

“You know this night would get us looking wasted tomorrow, right?” Soojin asked as you picked up yet another bottle of soju.

You read the label on the drinks before nodding at her, “Relax. Trust me, it’s what we need.”

It’s what you need; ten shots of soju to drown your thoughts about Jaehyun. And about Mina. About everything else.

“What’s this? You’ll try to get yourself in a coma?” She shot up her brow, looking at the soju bottles on the push cart and to you.

“That’s why I invited you so we could get ourselves in a coma together,” You teased her.

Tonight, you invited Soojin to have a slumber party in your apartment with Yuqi. The emotions you’ve been bottling up since seeing Jaehyun with Mina needed to be released or else you’d die of suffocation. By your own experience of heartbreak and loss could you tell that soju is the bestest way to relieve yourself of the stress. Jaehyun does not have the rights to infiltrate your mind any longer and what’s best way to kick him out of your system than gulping down bottles of liquor, right?

It’s not normal of you to drink liquor on a Monday night, and if Soojin had noticed anything wrong about you, she didn’t ask. You’re not ready to face the problem yourself, either. Or maybe you will never face it.

“Anyways, Yuta told me you’ve accepted his apologies and that you’re willing to join us in the hiking,” Soojin starts as you walk outside the convenience store carrying snacks and soju bottles.

“Yes. I did. It’s time to revive the friendship and I think there’s nothing wrong in trying,” You shrugged.

Soojin nodded, “Yep. But…” She hesitates, you know exactly why. “…how about Jaehyun, though? Does Yuta know the truth?”

He doesn’t. Because you didn’t want to give him false hopes that both of you could work it out and be together again. “No. I didn’t tell him.” You frowned. “The last time we ate together, he told me he still loves me, that I should give him a chance.”

Soojin gaped at you, “You said no, of course. You wouldn’t introduce Jaehyun as your boyfriend if you’d agreed to give him a chance,”

You nodded at her. Soojin rolled her lips between her teeth, hesitant to ask you yet another question. “Do you fancy someone else now, though?” She finally asked.

Was it too obvious? The thought of Soojin noticing your affection towards Jaehyun gave you the creeps. It’s not like it isn’t true, but you aren’t ready to voice your feelings to someone else yet.

“I… I don’t know.”

“You don’t have to lie to me. I can see it in your eyes. I know you like… Jaehyun. I mean, Y/N, do you know that you’re the first secretary he took with him overseas?”

You stop in your tracks, completely focusing your attention to your best friend. She did the same.

“Yes. That’s right. Because his former secretaries couldn’t even make it to one month, except Maggie. Yet he didn’t even take Maggie to attend business with him overseas. I know it’s not that special… but it’s unusual of him to do that.” There’s a spark of hope that kindled in your chest by realizing what Soojin is trying to tell you. But you quickly smashed it, there’s no way Jung Jaehyun could have an affection towards you after the incident in his office.

“Are you saying he likes me?”

“Maybe…? I couldn’t tell yet, but there’s a possi—”

You cut her off, “Do you know that I saw him making out with another girl inside his office?”

Soojin gasped, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” You’re aware of the fact that it’s not right to tell what you’ve seen earlier to another people. It’s not right to gossip about the business of your boss. But Soojin is your best friend, you need to convince her that Jaehyun has no fondness towards you or else you’d believe her and that would definitely lead to your own destruction. You have to nail in your mind that Jaehyun would never like you. In that way, you’re saving yourself from the worse heartbreaks.

You walked back to your apartment talking about anything except for Jaehyun. It has cleared your mind somehow. As you talk with Soojin, you’ve prevented your mind to think about Jaehyun and Mina, or what could they possibly be doing in the moment. At least, you felt far away from them.

“Yuqi, you’re not allowed to drink.” You told your sister, tossing a juicebox her way.

“You’re such a kill joy,” she pouted. It’s her midterms week and you’re only allowing her to stay late to review her notes, not to drink with you. Soojin patted her back, frowning with her.

The night went on with the three of you laughing at some silly jokes you shared. Both Soojin and you reminiscing your embarrassing moments back in college. How Soojin literally drew a vagina, making your professor blushed in his seat while grading the canvas.

“I am fucking sleepy,” Soojin’s words were sluggish, proof that the soju has kicked in her system already.

You feel it too. You feel the warmth in your body, mind spinning from too much shots. Yuqi bid her goodnight five-minutes ago, leaving both you and Soojin on your own.

You were absolutely wrong to think that the liquor would make you forget Jaehyun. If anything, it just made your situation worse. Jaehyun’s memories flows within you like how the liquor flows in your veins— searing every part of your body.

How had everything came back to square one, you have no idea. All that you think of right now is the shame of hoping for something else after the night you spent with Jaehyun. Was it really a wishful thinking? But he made you feel special in those times, he made you feel like you were something out of the ordinary. Perhaps he does it to every girl he’s met and mingled with. Perhaps you weren’t really special. Perhaps he toyed with you and that was it— no explanations, no apologies, just utter heartbreak.

Why does this heartbreak feel different? Why do you feel like you are being hollowed inside out? Why do you feel like there’s a force trying to squeeze the air out of your lungs and the blood in your veins? God, why does it hurt so much?

“God, I love him.” You blurted out, your palms digging in your eyes while you let the tears flow down freely.

“What the heck are you talking about?” Soojin squinted her eyes at you.

“I love him! I love Jaehyun!” You cried. Soojin shifted beside you, bringing her arms around your body as you cried your heart out. “Why does it hurt so much? Why?” She’s lulling you now, her former drunk self thrown out because of your current situation. The pain, you couldn’t bear it. It feels like a sledgehammer to your heart.

“Sssh, Y/N. It’s okay. It’ll be okay,” she shushed.

“It will never be okay.” You whispered. The pain feels almost atavistic. It’s like a part of you is missing and never in a hundred years could it be found.

—

In this dream, you couldn’t feel anything; not the headache from being drunk nor the heartbreak from Jaehyun. Everything about this dream is like a fairytale, you know exactly where you are.

There are no crying voices, there are no prayers of sorrows, there are no kneeling families begging for Aurora to wake up. Only silence and the chirping of birds.

“You’re awake,” said the voice from the edge of the bed. She’s looking at you, with her body twisted sideways. Aurora.

You sat up on the lush bed, squinting and protecting your eyes from the burst of sunlight penetrating the room.  “Why am I here again? Aren’t you dead?” Right now, you need answers— from all these visions, from all these dreams. These aren’t just  simple images created by your mind; they are life.

“If I am dead, you are dead too. But we live, for eternity,” she says, facing you. She is ethereal. Soft. Pristine. Her every move is like the quiet waves of the ocean. It is unreal.

“What do you mean, eternity? I— I don’t understand. Why am I here? Why do I always see you in my dreams? Who really are you?” You bombarded her with questions, hoping that she’d quench every single one of it with answers.

“I am Aurora. You are here because it is your destiny. Soon, you will understand, once you are ready for it.” Her voice was like velvet in your ears, so smooth.

“Destiny? What destiny?”

You trace her lips with your eyes as she speaks the words, “Thou shall bear a love for one soul in a thousand faces— and suffer as the face cease to exist but the soul, perpetually.” She paused, then looked at you with smile on her lips. “That is your destiny.”

“What? Who told you that?” Because it is clear that the words are not from her, for it seems like it’s from someone— and she’s only memorizing the words to you.

“His name is Yuno.”

Yuno? Who is Yuno?

You gasped as you wake, your heart and head pounding. The clock tells you it’s five a.m. in the morning. Convenient. Now is the time to get up and face the world again— face Jaehyun again. You wonder what surprises he’s laid for you today.

It’s still dawn yet your body feels heavy already, preventing you to be productive and dynamic. The dream you had about Aurora sinking in your bones, making everything more difficult for you.

Yuno. The name sounds strange to you. You’ve never rolled its syllables on your tongue before. Destiny. You groaned at the thought. Here you are, thinking that you’re just a simple girl in a big city, yet your dreams tells you you’re more than what you believed you are. Is it true? What path does all these dreams lead to? Would it be worth it to jump and find answers?

Your intuition tells you there’s something out there for you— but you weren’t expecting something as complicated as this one. One step at a time, you told yourself. If you’re determined to find answers, you need to know who Aurora is. You need to find out if she still lives or she’s already dead like in your dreams. You need to have a point— point where to start.

“Thou shall bear a love for one soul… thousand faces… suffer… as the face cease to exist… but the soul… perpetually,” You chanted the words as you write them in your sketchbook. Understanding what it means would be a big step in your sleuthing.

Aurora said that the words are your destiny, and they were from a person named Yuno. But who is Yuno?

—

“Soojin, can I ask you something?”

The both of you are walking to the bus stop, looking bedraggled from the risky night you spent drinking and crying in each other’s shoulders. Soojin hugged you until you stopped crying yesterday night. She guided you on your bed, tucking you in before sleeping in Yuqi’s bedroom. Unfortunately for the both of you, your single bed wouldn’t be able to hold two bodies, that’s why she slept in Yuqi’s. But before she departed your room, she gave you a glass of water and kissed your forehead.

“Sure, what is it?” She said that while gliding her lipstick on her lips.

You’re certain that Aurora played a big part in Jaehyun’s life. You wouldn’t see him crying in the corner of Aurora’s bedroom as she laid dying on her bed if she was a nobody. Jaehyun crying, you would’ve considered it as a joke if it wasn’t for the fact that you saw it with your own eyes, despite that it happened in your dreams. Are they just your dreams, though? That, you will find out. You know they’re related with each other— no matter what his friends told you.

“In your two years of working in Jung’s Fiscals, have you ever seen Jaehyun with a girl?” You asked, “black hair, that falls up to her waist—” You motioned your hands to your waist and pointed your finger at your eyes, “and blue eyes! She’s pretty. Like a living princess.” Your eyes are widening now, eager for Soojin’s answer. But she only looked at you as if it’s her first time knowing you.

“There’s one girl who always visits him… and I know you’re familiar with her. She’s Chaelin. Apart from her and the other girl from yesterday… I don’t think I’ve seen him with the girl with blue eyes and black hair.” Soojin stated while she looked at you with knitted brows. “That’s an unusual appearance, you know. I’ve never met someone with the same facial features.” She added while fixing her hair.

“I told you she’s beautiful.” You told her. But you couldn’t stop the disappointment as it sips on your energy. On a spur of moment, Aurora feels so far away. The people who could help you refuses to say anything about her. Chaelin, Johnny, Taeyong. But why?

“Why are you asking, though? I know you like him, but you need not to murder his exes you know.”

“Shut up, bitch. I was just curious. To be honest, I always dream about the girl. Her name’s Aurora. And in my dreams, I always see Jaehyun. That’s a bit mysterious, don’t you think?” You tighten your hold around the strap of your bag, anticipating for your best friend’s answer. You know Soojin as a practical woman, but she might know something useful about your dreams. There’s no harm in trying. “I’d tell you that the setting of my dreams looked like it was made out of the eighteenth to nineteenth century.”

Soojin stopped fixing her bangs as she whirled towards you, “It feels old? That’s what you’re telling me?” You nodded as she pursed her lips like she’s remembering something. “My grandmother told me that sometimes, our dreams are doors to the life we had before. You’ve stated that you dream about odd and old things. There are a lot of reincarnation stories in the internet y’know. More of the times, it’s their dreams that tells them what they were before their life today. It’s honestly cool to have those kinds of visions…” Her voice was blurred out by your thoughts.

Past life. Reincarnation. Could it be possible that your dreams are doors to your life before? How? Now everything seems too convoluted for your brain to process. The voice of Aurora repeating in your mind: “That is your destiny.” What destiny, exactly?

—

“Sir, these are the files Laura sent me. She told me you need to sign these papers as soon as possible.” You laid the stack of piles on Jaehyun’s table while he currently scans a document and fiddling the pen with his fingers.

There wasn’t a making-out session to greet you good morning today, but Jaehyun still arrived earlier than you. He was rummaging through his files when you came into his office with a cup of coffee. Some were on the floors, some were on his desk. You could tell he was frustrated by how his brows were narrowed as if they’d become as one anytime soon.

“As soon as possible? Who the fuck tells the CEO that bullshit?” He flipped the pages of the document with enough force that the stapled edges of it were torn apart.

“Apparently, Laura did, Sir. You indeed need to sign the papers as soon as possible since you postponed your meeting with Mr. Kang yesterday,” You added, looking straight at the skyscrapers outside. You couldn’t afford to look at him and not break down here and there.

“Look at me when you talk to me.” It wasn’t a plea, it was a command. You have no other choice but to look at him— into those cruel dark brown eyes you want to forget. The moment you did, your lips slightly trembled.

He stood up from his seat, eyeing you as he did so. He leaned his weight on the edge of the table, arms crossed as he looked at you. “You’ve been ignoring me.”

Ignoring? What the hell is he talking about?

“Sir?” You asked him, incredulous by his audacity.

“You’ve been ignoring me. Why? Were you jealous about the incident you saw yesterday?”

You gulped down your irritation. Of course you were jealous. But you refuse to give him that satisfaction. “Why should I?” You cleared your throat then added, “Sir.” Like a soldier under the scrutinizing of the captain.

“Because you like me.” He stated, as a-matter-of-fact. Where is this conversation going? You couldn’t calculate his reason to state that sentence, but it made you shift on your position despite that. It was another thing to hear it from his lips.

“I don’t see the reason why it matters, Sir.”

“It matters to me, Y/N.”

“If you don’t have anything more to say, I’d better get working. Call me if you need anything, Sir. I’ll be right outside your office.” You flashed him your sweetest smile, ready to turn your back on him. But he swiftly caught your wrist. His look was almost apologetic. You didn’t even know why do you wait for him to say something. Minutes had gone by with the both of you just staring at each other, sharing a silence that shattered your already broken heart, levigating every bit of what’s left of it.

“Go.”

One word. You have no idea how could that one word hurt you even more. Perhaps because that one word held all possibilities that he could’ve taken but chose not to. The thought of hurting more than you already are baffles you. Just how much effect does Jaehyun holds against you? It’s frightening to think of it. His grip on you slackened. You walked away from him, but before you could open the door, you swear you heard him say the word ‘sorry’.

—

He’s certain you didn’t hear the words, he made sure of that. But as you tensed before opening the door made him realized that he was wrong. You heard it. He never felt so stupid as he did now.

Sorry. Sorry for what? For treating you like you didn’t matter to him? Sorry because you walked in on him devouring the lips of this unknown girl who seems too eager to have a piece of him? You could hide the pain in your eyes to the world, but not to him. He heard you entering his office and instead of pushing the girl away and give himself up to you, he chose to grab her waist and her breast like his life depended on it— he kissed her with enough hunger to make you recoil. And you did— with trembling hands that led to the coffee mugs crashing on the floor.

It wasn’t a simple shock of what you saw, it was also the shattering of your hopes, he saw it in your eyes. He wanted to run, hug you, beg for your forgiveness, but his feet wouldn’t move. It was locked up on the floors like how his promise to himself was locked up inside him; that is to keep you safe.

That night, he laid on his bed awake, no alcohols running in his blood. His thoughts were clear and they were all about you. How your lips trembled as you asked them if they still needed anything from you. You might have not realized that he saw the unshed tears behind your smiles, but he did. He felt sick to his stomach remembering how painful your smile was. He felt sick to know that it’s all because of him.

The pain was almost unbearable, if not for the thought that he’s hurting you for your own good. He closed his eyes then, remembering the words of the Almighty before He casted him out of heaven to fall into the abyss.

“Thou shall bear a love for one soul in a thousand faces— and suffer as the face cease to exist but the soul, perpetually.”

Do you belong to the faces? He didn’t want to know. He’d lose his mind if you were. The thought of you wasting away like Aurora made every fiber of his being to convulse in utter fury. It couldn’t be. You couldn’t be. Yet what power does he have against the will of his Creator? None. So he closed his eyes, letting the sleep to pull him under, forgetting all the troubles of his reality behind.

“Aurora?”

This is a dream. He knew it the moment he opened his eyes to a lake, surrounded by wildflowers and butterflies. At the edge of the lake’s mouth stood a woman he knows too well like the back of his hand.

“My love,” she called out, voice like the lullabies of the angel in the heavens. Black hair, blue eyes— it was indeed his lover. Jaehyun could feel his heart beating loudly against his chest with every step he takes towards the girl he loved for more than a century now.

“You’re alive,” He knows she’s not. But she feels so real that he’s afraid his realities might be slipping away from him. The woman smiled. She never changed one bit.

“I am always alive, my love.” She stretched out her hand to him, he took it gladly, placing it on his chest where his heart is located.

“Here. You are always alive.” He smiled. How unusual it was to feel his lips stretch into a smile, his skin feels tight and the feeling is unfamiliar.

“I know it belongs to someone else now, Yuno.”

How long has it been? How long has it been since he was called by that name? The name he cherished because it was his name when she was still alive. The name he buried together with her when she died.

“My heart belongs to you, always.” He kissed her palm, pressing it lightly to his cheek after.

“It was mine. Now it’s hers.”  She softly voiced.

“What do you mean, chérie?” His heart has been pounding in his chest now, mind blank from what Aurora tries to tell him.

“Have courage, my love. It is our destiny.”

Jaehyun woke, gasping. He stood up and ran his hand through his hair, the sweat on his forehead sopping its strands. What the fuck was that?

It’s been a while since he dreamt of Aurora. It wasn’t always pleasant. He always dreamt about her wasting body, the jutting bones and her frailty always occupies his vision. Her kneeling and sobbing parents around her deathbed, her little sister praying to God to wake her up. All the prayers and the cries that resulted to nothing; it all comes crashing down on him whenever he closes his eyes.

It is our destiny. She said the words again. He could hear her over and over in his mind, trying to convince him that no one could stand against the will of God. But he refused to believe it. He was never going to believe it. It was one thing to punish him, it is another thing to punish someone because of him. Yet Aurora unfailingly saw the punishment as her blessing. She was always a pious lady— never missing any mass, befriended all the priests, always praying whenever she went. She never once took it as a burden. If that is the will of God, who am I to refuse Him? She always told him. Not a trace of disbelief or horror in her pretty face. She embraced her destiny like how mothers embraces their newborn child.

Are you not happy that my soul would never die? She asked him once. How could he rejoice from that fact? How could he rejoice when the love of his life was destined to die, but her soul? How could he touch an intangible thing such as a person’s soul? How could he hold it? He wasn’t happy. It was Aurora that he wanted and he never wanted so much in his life before her.

What is a hundred years compared to your lifetime? He remembered her asking. It was too much. How could he wait for someone he could fall in love with after hundreds of years if it’s not going to be Aurora at the end of the century? Why does he need to fall in love over and over again just to be left broken in the end? It is your punishment, traitor. The voice inside him whispered with enough obloquy to make him wince.

It was foolish of him to expect that his retribution won’t kick him in his guts again. He was so careful— so careful not to fall in love a second time. He guarded his heart with glacial ice that no one could melt. He guarded it with the love he shared with Aurora. Yet you came and went crashing down on the ice. You came, slowly infiltrating the love he kept for Aurora only. His heart is as jagged as his soul, it is a rotten thing but it’s all that he could offer you. He’d willingly give it you if it weren’t for the odds.

—

The mountain of Sagada nestled in a valley at the upper end of the Malitep tributary some half kilometers in the Central Cordillera Mountains. The guides who are usually called as Kankanaey welcomed the three of you with warm smiles.

It’s more than half an hour since you arrived and registered at the Municipal Tourism office located in the municipal hall. Various groups of friends and families registered alongside the three of you. The Kankanaey introduced Sagada as a well-known place for recreational activities such as hiking, camping, exploring caves and waterfalls and joining tribal gatherings.

You personally feel elevated to travel the famous waterfalls and caves as well as the hanging coffins as introduced by the Kankanaey. It’s been awhile since you’ve done something such as hiking a mountain. You almost felt thankful for Yuta for inviting you in. Soojin couldn’t keep her DSLR since you started the hiking— you could only assume that she has so much images to keep as memories now.

Sagada Mountains did not disappoint. Your first destination was the Bokong waterfalls near the town center. The falling waters from it gave you the refreshment your mind deserves. Jaehyun still lingers in your mind; you wonder about his well-being, about what he’s doing, eating, whether he’s stressed-out and needed a hand. But you try not to dwell in those thoughts as you stepped in the beauty of the mountain. This adventure would be in vain if you fail to clear your mind from all the heartbreaks.

Yuta decided that you should stay for two nights and three days to appreciate the view of Sagada in the gloaming. Many mountain people have told you that the skies at the peak of the mountain stretched out like clouds of cotton as the sun rise. The view would be a spectacle to behold, it would be a shame not to witness it.

“… later,”

You heard Yuta whispered to nowhere as you trailed the rocky path of the mountain, tha hanging coffins visible in the distance. Who was he talking to? It was a whisper but you’re certain you heard him talked. Soojin and the others trails ahead of you, hands in her camera.

“You alright?” You asked Yuta with concern. The Kankanaey didn’t say anything about ghosts nor elementals roaming the mountains— did Yuta see one?

He was quick to blink and shook his head at you, like a dog shaking off the waters in its fur. “Yes, let’s go?” He laid out his palms to welcome you to the path. You shrugged your thoughts away and hurried to match Soojin’s strides.

Before going into your own guest house near the mountains, there was a tribal gathering you attended first. It was relaxing to familiarized yourself to different cultures other than yours, it reminded you of the life outside of work and responsibilities. You wished that you brought Yuqi with you, but her inability to do challenging abilities prohibited her in joining the mountain hike. Nevertheless, she promised to take her meds and she also invited her classmate to accompany her in the days that you’ll be gone.

“I need a shower,” Soojin declared as she laid down her duffel bag on the mattress. The both of you shares a room, leaving Yuta alone in the other bedroom across from yours.

You decided to cook something for dinner while Soojin cleans herself. Yuta offered to help you. The air between the two of you wasn’t as awkward as it was when he came back from Japan, it was bearable. He does not ask you about Jaehyun, which makes you wonder whether he’s already noticed the truth and decided to shrug it off. Or he observed your aloofness from the topic of relationship that’s why he doesn’t bug you about your ‘boyfriend’. Either way, you were thankful to not hear Jaehyun’s name being uttered by anyone. It’s nice to have this little vacation to yourself and with your friends.

After the dinner, you cleaned yourself and joined Yuta and Soojin as they drink in the veranda.

“The air’s so refreshing,” Soojin muttered as she took a swig on her own bottle. The air was cold, but it’s not unpleasant to the skin. It was a comfortable type of cold, like the splash of water on your face in the mornings of summer.

You sat beside Soojin, opening a bottle of your own. “I wish we could come back here,” You said, looking out at the view. Tiny lights were emitted by houses, like fireflies underneath the darkness of the forest.

“I personally liked the hanging coffins,” Yuta blurted out. The hanging coffins weren’t something you’ve seen before. They were literally coffins hanging on the side of the cliff. The Kankanaey told you it is the traditional way to bury the dead during the olden days. Unfortunately today, it is not used anymore. And based from the natives, a certain requirement should be met before someone would get buried that way; he or she must have been married and had children.

“Those gave me the creeps, but it was such an incredibly unusual way of burial.” Soojin commented.

“We should really go back here,” Yuta chuckled. “And hopefully we could bring Jaehyun with us.” He looked at you, his face unreadable by the dimness of the light.

Jaehyun. Just when you thought that nobody would chant his name today. You felt Soojin’s eyes as she waited for you to say something.

“I don’t think so,” You fake laughed. “He’s such a workaholic. I bet he does not fancy adventures as this one,” You added. Yuta only nodded at you, his mouth twisting in disappointment.

“That’s a shame. He must be boring then,”

Is he taunting me? You collected your thoughts by Yuta’s comment. Your mouth opened up to what? Defend Jaehyun? Thankfully, Soojin washed the tensed atmosphere away by clearing her throat.

“I’d like to swim in their famous waterfalls, tomorrow. Could we do that?” Soojin looked at the both of you with hopeful eyes.

“If we’re still here tomorrow,” Yuta commented as he mindlessly took a swig of his bottle.

“I thought we’d stay for three days?” You asked Yuta. He stared at you as if he was caught off guard by your question, then he chuckled; a trace of nervousness could be heard from his voice.

“Yeah… I forgot.”

Forgot? Staying for three days in Sagada was the only thing Yuta talked about on the way here. According to him, you’d enjoy the wonders of the mountains if your stay would be a bit longer than the usual. It’s unexpected of him to forget that when he was the one who literally planned all of this.

“Alright! I must ready my swimsuit then. Good night!” Soojin laid her empty bottle on the table with a thud, hurrying down the hallways to your shared bedroom.

“I think we should—” You stood up, but Yuta caught your wrist, demanding you to sit down. “What is it?” You asked.

“Can we go for a walk?” He sounds pleading, that you’d feel bad to say no. So you nodded your head and gave him an encouraging smile. Maybe he wasn’t yet sleepy and he needed to unwind.

You walked the rocky trail from your guest house to nowhere, the light of the moon your only guide in the darkness. Crickets could be heard, hiding in the trees. The surroundings was eerily silent saved for the ophidian whispers of the winds slapping against the trees.

“Do you know what a fairy circle is?” Yuta asked all of a sudden. You kicked a small stone in your way before looking at him.

“I don’t. Why?” In the darkness, you’re certain you heard his little huff of relief by your answer. “Is it something ghostly? You inquired, a small chuckle reverberating in your throat.

“No. But they say it could bring you luck once you stepped on it,”

“Really? What kinds of luck?”

“Good fortune, as I’ve read.” He shrugged then added, “I saw one earlier on the way here and I thought I should show you,”

You gasped, excited. “Really? Where?” By your question, Yuta halted on his tracks, his body now pointing towards something in the darkness.

“Here.” He trudged the distance, with you trailing behind him. The light of the moon illuminated something white in the distance. “The fairy circle,” He announced as he looked at the wild mushrooms in a form of a circle on the earth. The inside of the circle wasn’t big, just enough for your two feet to step on.

“Oh! This is so cool. We should try it!” You enthusiastically tug on Yuta’s shirt like a child begging for ice cream. Yuta doesn’t share the same excitement, he was looking at you bewildered.

“Are you sure?”

You nodded, “Yep. I mean, it looks harmless. And it’s probably just a myth. But you know I love to try these kinds of things.” You widened your eyes at him in amusement, “So, how should I do it? Do I step inside and close my palms together as if I’m wishing?” You chuckled, your blood rising jovially.

Yuta seemed to decide about something, then he closed his eyes as if to release some tension. Is he afraid? The thought made you chuckle. But then he opened his eyes and told you that you needed to step inside the circle and wish.

“Okay! I wish Soojin’s with us…” You frowned but stepped in the circle nonetheless. “I wish that—”

Everything seemed to swirl the moment you said the words. Yuta slowly becoming a blur beside you. You couldn’t stop but spin on the same spot, making your head hurt and your stomach to churn.

“Yuta!” You called out. There wasn’t an answer to your plea but little voices that seems to be laughing at you. What is happening? The sharp and painful stomping of your heart only adds to your anxiety. The world that you knew seems so far away— feels so far away as you spin and spin into nothingness. Into the bluriness of darkness.

You called out for Yuta, begging to be heard. But all seems to fade now— the copse of trees, the sound of the crickets, your voice as you shout for Yuta’s name— they were all gone and all that you could hear was the merriment of the little voices as you plunged into the abyss.

You fell with a thud; a cloud of dust rising all around you as you plummeted into the earth. Your clothes are dusty, you feel your bun loosing its grip on your hair. There was the sound of fire crackling, you opened your eyes.

Creatures loomed around you, their faces monstrous and unique. Some of them have blue skin, some of them has thorns, has spindly limbs, claws instead of fingers. Some of them looked as if they came from the deepest parts of the ocean, some looked half-human and half-animal. They were all dancing around the fire, around you. It took you a second to realized that they’re currently having a fête.

What cosplay world is this? You searched around for anything familiar. There was none. Your vision are full of singing and dancing creatures. The memory of you spinning after you stepped into the fairy ring comes rushing back like a splash of wave against the boulders of rock along the shore.

You stood up, legs trembling from the impact of your collision in the ground. The music slowly receded as a figure slowly emerges from behind the crowd, parting the creatures in her every step.

A woman. With a crown atop her head. She’s wearing an elaborative gown of a champagne color. Her cleavage proudly showing. Veins and twigs hugs her gown— with red flowers adoring the silk. The queen. When she spoke, everyone shushed as well as your heart. “My dearest fairies of this realm, I welcome you to the night that we have all been waiting for. Lay all your troubles behind, let us all dance and sing!” She raised her hands in the air, and the creatures around you all rejoiced.

You feel yourself getting smaller and smaller by their lack of concern towards you. But it was short-lived as the woman stared at you like you’re the most delicious meal she’s ever going to taste. “Oh, what an interesting creature,” Her voice was sultry as she continues to speak, “Welcome to the lands of the fairie, Y/N.”

Everyone shouts, different tones of voices— some were tiny, some sounded like they came from the darkest of the cave, some ethereal. But all of them, despite their varieties in tones, they still sent shivers down your spine. They are not human. They are nothing like you.

“Silence!”

The voice didn’t come from the queen. It came from behind you. Everyone seemed to shut their mouths as yet another figure emerged from the crowd. She wasn’t anything like the queen. The woman who appeared from the crowd holds a branch of tree as her walking stick. Her back has been bent because of old age and she’s wearing a simple brown hood— nothing special. There were no jewelries adorning her body. She reminded you a lot like the old woman in Snow White. And she’s walking straight towards you, eyes boring into yours.

You wanted to run, but where would you go? The shock absorbed all your strength. You couldn’t even scream as she stood in front of you. You fell on your butt to the ground, the old woman towering over you— while the heat of the fire felt so near against your back. No matter what you did, you couldn’t look away at her black irises— so stark against the burning fire behind you.

Her rough hands grasp your cheek, scanning your face for anything, for something. Then her eyes widened, real fear reflected in her orbs. She was scornful as she looked at the Queen, still grasping your cheek, her nails digging in your skin.

“You are a fool, girl.” She spat, eyes blazing with horror.

The Queen doesn’t seem to know what the old woman was trying to convey, she only looked bored. “Yuta, bring your aunt into her own chambers. She is ruining the night for everyone.” She rolled her eyes.

Yuta? He’s not the Yuta you know, right? A man with white hair emerges from behind the Queen. His ears are pointed, and he looks as if he’s shining. He’s beautiful. And he’s indeed Nakamoto Yuta. If you could sink further into the ground, you would. You couldn’t feel your knees, you couldn’t even stand. He’s looking at you apologetically; a silent sorry for what he did to you.

“Yuta,” You were surprised to hear your own voice, no matter how dry it sounded. He walked towards the old woman, not bothering to look at you.

“Yuta, wait!” You scrambled to your feet, but you couldn’t stand, so you crawled towards him— tugging on his clothes. Everything about him screams royalty that it feels wrong to touch him somehow. “Where am I? What is this?” You begged. But he held your hand and slowly pushed you away from him. “Just trust me, Y/N.” He said.

You stare at him, dumbfounded. How could you trust him when it was clear he’s the reason why you’re here? Before Yuta could drag the old woman away from the crowd, she said something to the Queen; shadow of fear was painted on her face as she heard the words.

“You have not realized it yet, but you already brought the wrath of the Fallen into your own kingdom.” Then she stomped far away from the fête, with Yuta trailing behind her.

—

Something is not right, Jaehyun thought. It’s already eight in the morning yet you still haven’t arrived. There’s still no sound of the door creaking open, there’s still no aroma of the coffee infiltrating the air around him. There’s still no trace of you.

Jaehyun massaged his temple, temper rising like the documents on his table. It’s unusual of you to be late. He wanted to calm down and let his mind relax for a bit, but the documents scattered on the floor stands as a proof of him failing to do so. You’re supposed to be back from your mountain hiking— the mere thought of it plus the fact that you spent your little vacation with that fae prince made his blood boil— but you’re still not around after three days. He’s lost count of the times he’d glanced on his phone for a text message. He’s lost count of the times he attempted to call your number just to ask whether you’re alright.

He stood up, hands on his waist. He needed to fucking breathe or else he’d lose it. Where the fuck are you, Y/N? Not seeing your face for three days almost drove him insane. Not to mention the fact that in those miserable days, you were with Yuta. If he could follow you just to make sure Yuta won’t lay a single finger on you, he absolutely would. But he knew it’s best to leave you alone to have your time to think, to heal.

The tall buildings outside of his own seems to blur by thoughts of you, he couldn’t think about anything else other than your well-being. Where are you, what are you doing, are you sick, do you need a break. Come fucking on, Y/N. Just one message. But it’s been three hours since he arrived in the building, still, there wasn’t a single message from you.

He doesn’t even know why is he so unnerved today. This day has been the worst of those three days without you. Perhaps because he’d expected to see your pretty face first thing in the morning, waiting for him patiently on your table.

He couldn’t do this. No. He feels like he might burst sooner or later if he’d make no move to know about your wellfare. So he dialed the front desk and requested for your friend, Soojin. She arrived moments later. And if she isn’t the human embodiment of mess, who is?

Jaehyun blinked at the sight of her. Soojin’s hair was tied in a neat bun, her lips red from a lipstick, but if you’d look closely, fatigue circles her eyes and there’s restlessness by the way that she carries herself. Her current appearance gave Jaehyun an ominous feeling.

“Good morning, Sir. You requested for me?” Even her voice sounded tired. Something is entirely wrong.

Jaehyun cleared his throat, careful not to push the woman in front of him since she looks like she’s about to cry. “Where is Y/N?”

At his question, Soojin covered her face with her hands and began sobbing her heart out. Jaehyun’s jaw twitched as his chest constricted by different thoughts of what possibly happened to you. The woman cried for a good three minutes before she gathered herself and answered. “I… we… don’t have any idea— one moment they were with me, then they were gone.”

“They?” He squinted his eyes.

“Yes. I… I went to sleep first. And I left them— Yuta and Y/N— then they’re gone the next day.”

The mention of Yuta’s name made Jaehyun curl his fingers closed. That bastard. He’s got a bad feeling about where they went— or worse, where Yuta took Y/N with him. He would applaud the audacity of that fae bastard if it wasn’t for the fact that every fiber of his being are being woken up by something he’s completely familiar with; fury.

“Can you write?” He asked Soojin, the girl nodded yes. She slumped on the seat in front of Jaehyun’s office table. “Write all the exact location of the places you went to.” He commanded. Soojin wrote it down without question. The list wasn’t long, which makes the tracing easier to accomplish. Jaehyun told Soojin to go home and get enough rest, since the girl badly needed it. She bowed and then left the office.

He wasted no time to dial Chaelin’s number, the piece of paper crumpled in between his fingers. “Dispatch someone to the location I’m going to send you,” He said as a greeting.

“What’s going on?” The woman inquired.

“Search all the premises. For anything. I need to make sure Yuta took Y/N to the Fairie lands.” He breathed, his patience thinning. He could go straight to the realm of the Fairies but there’s too much to risk— his every step and plan needs reckoning.

“Isn’t Yuta the fairie bastard you told me to take care of?”

“Yes.”

Chaelin groaned, “That faerie prince won’t listen to me. He stated that he doesn’t care whether it’s Lucifer’s line he’s crossing as long as he’d be together with Y/N, forever.”

Jaehyun’s grip on the phone tightened. In his long life of living in the Earth, this is the first time a mere faerie prince neglected him. “Let’s see how far his impudence would take him once I destroy their kingdom.”

—

“We mustn’t let him enter the Fairie realms alone,” Chaelin leaned on the table in Doyoung’s library as she finished informing them about what Jaehyun told him on the phone. She already sent him a picture the fairy ring that was found by Lucas and Jeno near the guest house they had stayed in.

Jaehyun’s response was unpleasant; the call was muffled by cursing and threats that she needed to cut off before Jaehyun could lose his temper completely. The mere fact that a fairie prince dared cross Jaehyun doesn’t really surprised Chaelin— there were kings back then who tried Jaehyun, and all their kingdoms crumbled to dust before their eyes— what baffles her right now is the way how he reacted by your disappearance. For all the years that she’s known Jaehyun, she’s never seen him so disoriented. He always laid out plans in pristine order. He always carries himself neatly even during a war. But right now, it’s different. He’s different because of you.

“Why? It’s not like he’s gonna get himself killed.” Taeyong shrugged as he slumped on the sofa near Chaelin, staring at the ceiling as if to stretch his neck.

Chaelin breathed a sigh of frustration. It seems like she’s the only one who’s actually afraid about Jaehyun’s threat. “Yes. He won’t. But he’s gonna get every fairie annihilated in a blink,”

“That would be beneficial for us, don’t you think?” Taeyong let out a groan, stretching his limbs as he tries to close his eyes.

“Can you hear yourself right now Taeyong? The destruction of the Fairies would disturb the balance of Netherworld.” Doyoung chided in. And it seems like the three of them were the only people who’s actually interested to the discussion.

“Since when did they consider themselves as netherworlders?” Taeyong opened his one eye, the red of his irises gleaming on the bright lights provided both by artificial lightings and moonlight.

Chaelin massaged her temple, the discussion suddenly felt like boulders of rocks on her back. “They don’t. But it’s a fact they’re one of us.” She sighed, “and what do you think Jaehyun would do once he’s in there? Shake hands with the Queen?”

“I think… he would call upon the horsemen.” Kun commented, a vampire in Taeyong’s clan. Fucking finally, Chaelin whispered. Someone other than her seemed to listen.

“I don’t know guys, but I don’t think Jaehyun is that impulsive?” Taeil looked at each of them, brows shot up to his forehead. He’s also a warlock like Doyoung.

Then Xiaojun, a vampire under Taeyong’s clan chimed in, “Yeah. I mean, it’s not like it’s Aurora who’s kidnapped by the Fae. It’s Y/N. She’s another topic. And I don’t think Jaehyun would risk wrecking havoc in the Fairie realms to get her back.”

“I would.” Jaehyun said, entering the library with a bud of cigarette pressed between his lips. With his hair disheveled and his tie hanging loosely on his neck, he pinned them down with a stare. “So you fuckers better decide now, or else I’ll go there alone. And I’m telling you it’s not going to be pleasant.” He crashed his cigarette against the table, scorching the wood as he did so. Chaelin believed the ember wasn’t because of the cigarette only— it also came from Jaehyun’s fingers.

“I won’t risk my changelings, Jaehyun.” Taeyong said, still slumped into the sofa like sloth.

Jaehyun whirled on him, “What the fuck are they here for then? They need to grow some balls, Taeyong.”

It wasn’t normal of Jaehyun to talk the younger ones down. Chaelin realized the fact of you alone and helpless in the Fairie realms ignited something inside Jaehyun which resulted to his attitude towards them.

“Jaehyun, we’re aware that you’re frustrated. But we won’t achieve nothing if you keep being a dick.” Chaelin stated, careful with her tones.

Jaehyun spun around, “And some of us need to fucking check if they have one.” Then stopped at Taeyong’s direction.

Taeyong sprung up from his seat and seethed, “Watch it.” He told Jaehyun. And they both stared each other down.

“Don’t you dare look at me that way, Taeyong.” Jaehyun sounded like he’s talking to a child. His ancient glory towering over Taeyong. Chaelin sighed from the sight.

“While the two of you are bickering about your masculinity, the Fae could be doing nasty fairie stuff with Y/N.” Doyoung sounded tired, “We need to plan! If Taeyong doesn’t want his changelings involved, let him! For fuck’s sake Jaehyun, you alone could get Y/N back. What more if we’re with you? We don’t have to bring everyone.”

Taeyong was the first one to break the tensed atmosphere by sighing and clapping Jaehyun at his back. The latter ran a hand through his hair, a dispirited sigh leaving his lips.

“When do we leave?” Ten, a warlock, emerges from behind the stacks of books. Chaelin didn’t know he was with them all along.

“At dawn.” They aren’t words, they are an order. A command from Lucifer.

#jaehyun nct au #jung jaehyun au #jaehyun imagines #nct imagines #nct au #jung yuno imagines #yuno au #it's TOO LONG FORGIVE ME

[join-the-joywrite]

Hamish & Vera soulmate au headcannons

Lil headcannons for a colours soulmate au in which the S1 finale wasn't the first time Hamish had been hit in the face with the powder. Because why not? This version of the colours is the one where you can only see varying shades of the colour of your soulmate's eyes. Because why not?

Here is part two, as promised

To everyone who knows Vera on any level, she hasn't changed a bit. Okay, maybe she's a little bit more sharp now and then and she gets a little testy whenever it rains. But maybe that's just the stress of being Grand Magus, and Temple Magus, and Chancellor of Belgrave setting in.

When she's alone at home, Vera stays up late into the night, wondering if she made the right decisions. She falls asleep in Hamish's jacket often.

The jacket is completely worn through now, the suede verging on ruined again. But she doesn't want to make back to brand new again nor does she ever want to get rid of it. It's quite literally that last bit of Hamish -- her Hamish -- that she has left.

She tells herself that it's for the best. If the Knights remained active, the Order would pursue them to the ends of the earth. But you have a seat of power almost all disciples would die for, that inner voice says, you can turn the Order around.

"They're our enemies." "But they don't know that." Well ok fine but I'm also deathly afraid of seeing Hamish's face again so let's not talk about this ever.

Eventually, logic trumps all else and Vera agrees to induct the Knights.

When Alyssa returns their memories, Jack is consumed by rage and hatred. Hamish wants to feel the same, he wants to be burned bitter by the betrayal, but he can't.

"Secrets are terrible things. They ruin the best of things and can break down nearly everything."

"I love you."

Hamish understands Randall's apprehension, Lilith's disgust and Jack's rage. He wants to say he feels the same. But all he feels his confusion. All he thinks about is the day he watched Vera leave.

Who's jacket had she been wearing?

Hamish runs his thumb over the letter hanging from the chain before tucking it under his new Order robes.

Did the necklace belong ..... to Vera? Because he knows it isn't his and he found it right where he'd fallen.

What the fuck is in Hamish's head on repeat for the entire evening.

"If you're going to stand there, at least make yourself useful." While Vera congratulates herself on her ability to appear as normal in front of Hamish, Hamish studies Vera as he passes her a drink. The same drink he'd watched her make back in the den.

Vera is momentarily distracted by the taste of the drink in her hand.

"Drinks are an art form, V, which means I can make whatever I want with justifiable reasoning." Laughter echoes. "And what are you calling this drink? It's a bit . . . harsh for all your old suggestions." "I'm thinking something along the lines of Vera."

"Are you calling me harsh?!" "I would never!" Pure, unfiltered joy echoes through the entire apartment.

"Magus?" Hamish's voice brings Vera back to the present. "Mingle, Acolyte. It's your party, after all."

Hamish reluctantly leaves the bar. He wants to stand there longer and study Vera -- maybe some of his questions will get answered.

"Drink it all in one go or your brain will shrivel up to the size of a raisin." "Bottoms up."

Suddenly, Hamish can recall his high school locker combination. Lilith is talking about some childhood fear, Randall's complaining about a retainer, Jack's crying about a tattoo -- frankly, that part scared Hamish a little -- and then he's stunned into silence with the flood of memories.

And then he's as angry as Jack was. He's furious. But not at Vera for what she did. He's furious at her for not waiting. Waiting for him to respond, waiting to see if they could have made it work.

He's furious because now he'll never know if they could have avoided all the deaths between then and now. Maybe the Knights could have allied with the Order. Maybe the Knights could have weeded out all the bad magic in the Order. Maybe he and Vera could have done it together, made the Order what she said it could be, a secret society of magic practitioners that is dedicated to preserving and passing on the art of magic. So many maybes, so many what ifs.

A part of him wants to storm into the temple, into the reliquary and demand that Vera confess. The more rational part of him keeps him grounded to protect the fact that they have their memories.

He'd feel a little bad about planning to rob the Order blind if he wasn't so pissed at them for raiding the den. Thanks to Lilith's potion, Hamish is slowly developing burning rage at the idea of being betrayed by his own goddamn soulmate. As time passes, he's starting to forget that he used to understand her circumstances, her choices being bad or worse.

So when they come across Zecchia, he's ready for it without any hesitation.

"Bring me something in a tall glass." Okay maybe a little hesitance. Just a little.

Hamish thinks it might have been a mistake when the news about Rogwan is delivered. He realises he's gone and royally fucked up on a Jack Morton level when they find out Zecchia robbed them.

"So, what's all this talk about wolves?"

Vera's too pissed with them to register the fact that Hamish has his memories (not all, though, right?) "Where is my inventory?"

"It was . . . stolen from us." "For fuck's sake, Hamish, can't you keep track of anything in that fucking apartment?" Randall: ( ͡° ʖ ͡°) (ಠ_ಠ) what the fuck is happening here 🙃 "I am seriously considering killing both of you." "Please don't." "SHUT UP"

Rogwan taking Hamish's fear could have been incredibly catastrophic if Vera had had her phone on her around the same time Hamish got his hands on money and a phone booth, even worse if she had answered any of those calls (though to be honest, she might just have been incredibly confused about it or more accurately, Hamish might not have even dialled her number properly)

Hamish standing at the phone booth with the dial tone while Randall repeatedly tries to climb a nearby tree: I know what you did, Vera Stone. You wicked witch with a cute butt. You jacket thief, alcohol thief, heart thief-- vest thief! + stupider and stupider things until Randall eventually gets his attention again.

"I give my life to the cause to protect the Hermetic Order of the Blue Rose from threats both inside and out." "So . . . we're supposed to babysit the Grand Magus aka you?" Both Vera and Hamish shoot Jack a withering glare. Randall finds it funny and Jack is grateful for Randall.

"Is everyone okay?" Awww she cares. Stop smirking at her -- stop -- STOP IT, FACE!

As much as Hamish was internally laughing at Vera for her still harbouring her old feelings, Hamish realises that he hasn't forgotten his own instincts when it comes to Vera when he sees the Magistratus, Angus, charge at Vera.

He may have fucked several things up, but no one is allowed to harm Vera. Tundra is a Knight of the Blue Rose, but Hamish is Vera's -- it's not as if he'd have it any other way anyway.

Vera's pretty stressed, what with the impending end of the world. Hamish is waiting for Vera in the reliquary, having discovered something ... interesting about the Tartarus explosions.

"I got your text." Hamish stands, book in hand. "Yeah, I found -- . . . is wearing three different shades of black a conscious decision or--" "Shut up."

Hamish happily complies. Who cares what colours she's wearing when he's got her in his arms? For someone who doesn't like anyone kissing in the reliquary, Vera seems to be very unopposed to the idea when she and Hamish are the ones doing all the kissing.

Not that Hamish is complaining. He wouldn't ever want to stop Vera. "Wait -- wait, this isn't why I'm here." "Your text specifically said you had something big to show me." "I ... see how that can be misconstrued."

Vera glares. "Make it quick, I'm busy."

"Tease," Hamish mutters with a grin before delving into the very solid fact that the world is going to end.

"The council wouldn't listen to reason so . . . I gave them fear. Stopping Praxis is the only way to stopping these eruptions." "Or is it the only option you'll consider?" The glass hits the table hard. Hamish is beyond pissed, but he's not sure at what. Vera is clearly stuck between a rock and a hard place. Perhaps he should let her know about his first clash with pulveris memoria

"They're asking for something I can't give them." "Or won't." He knows he's being difficult but he doesn't feel guilty about it at all. He's still mildly miffed that Vera didn't think he could make the choice for himself on whether or not he wanted anything to do with the Order.

Of course, his entire demeanour changes when Alyssa shows up in the reliquary. He may be pissed and a little disappointed in Vera but that doesn't mean he's willing to let her stand in harm's way. And of course, Alyssa knocks him straight the fuck out. (I mean personally I don't like her but I have to admit, that was a smart move)

I can't fucking remember how the scene goes word-for-word but you all know it.

Hamish wakes with the gripping fear that Vera is hurt or worse, dead. As soon as he sees Vera though, he's incredibly calmer. She seems okay. She's alive.

"She took your magic." Honestly, it could have been worse. It really could have been a lot worse. But he doesn't say so because he knows magic is something that is important to Vera and he knows that she's fucking terrified -- even if she won't say.

"I imagine she, like you, finds me a selfish woman." "Vera, I don't think you're selfish. You're demanding and ... weirdly ticklish, but not selfish."

Vera thinks about all that she's put Hamish alone through. She has very many a regret in her life, but Hamish somehow seems to dominate that lost. "How can you be so sure?" "Because of all the times you could have killed the Knights but you didn't, because you wanted th-- us to live. To learn."

It's a little hard to separate Vera's soulmate from Tundra's champion, but Hamish does it. He's still a Knight, despite whatever feelings he and Vera might share. Both of them are him but not together. Not just yet.

"It's all right to let someone care about you, V." "You--" "You dropped this." Vera stands still as Hamish puts the chain over her own head. How long had he had all his memories? Said nothing? All this time, he'd kept his mouth shut -- was it for her sake? Old guilt creeps back into her.

"Maybe you are selfish, V, but not for all the reasons you think. Your selfish acts are always about protecting other people. Me, Jack, Alyssa, the Knights, the Order. Selfish doesn't mean evil."

"What's he doing here?" "We're not staying." "Yes, we are."

"No, you're not." "It's not safe." "I'm no threat to her."

Hamish really doesn't want to leave Vera alone with Alyssa. But she trusts herself so he'll trust her. Besides that, he still has to save Lilith.

When Hamish returns to the temple, chasing Midnight, Alyssa is dead and Vera is shaking.

"V, it's not your fault." How does he know exactly what she's thinking?

Hamish sets a drink, Vera's drink, in front of her and turns to leave. To give her space. To give her the choice. He drags his hand over hers. Do you want me to stay?

Vera makes no movement other than wrapping her fingers around Hamish's hand and holding fast. Yes.

And as he stands there and the doors to the reliquary closes, he glances down at Vera and realises that bad as things are, they could be worse. Vera tried so many times to push him away, but she's failed every time. And he's incredibly thankful for that.

Vera doesn't have her magic, but she's got all the colours in the world because of Hamish and somehow, that's so much more important to her.

Someone help me I'm Sad™ I wanna write this but like ,,,,, not as a full book because that would make me cry ,,,,, maybe like a nice collection of scenes 0.0 what do you think?

Take a look at other soulmate aus I've chosen to torment myself with

#hamish x vera #hamish duke #vera stone #vermish #the order #netflix #the hermetic order of the blue rose #the knights of st christopher #the knights of the blue rose #the knights of saint christopher #soulmate #soulmates au #soulmate au #please just give me the soulmate au i want #mara-writes

[huntertales]

Part Four: Goodbye Hollywood, See Ya Never. (The French Mistake S06E15)

Episode Summary: Sam, Dean and the reader find themselves in an alternate reality where everyone believes they are actors who star in the show, “Supernatural” about two brothers and their best friend who hunt monsters. Things only grow worse when the relationships between old enemies and friends become distorted in ways unimaginable. Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader Word Count: 4,811.

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*Y/F/N = Your “French Mistake” First Name *Y/F/L/N = Your “French Mistake” Last Name

You and the boys managed to find the crime scene without any help from Genevieve or Nate, who looked at all of you like a bunch of psychos for wanting to know where your good friend and costar, Misha, was murdered just an hour ago. The poor bastard was found in the back of an alley with his throat slit clean. Lucky for you, a homeless man claimed to have witnessed everything. You passed by Misha's dead body that remained on the ground, covered in a white sheet after the police took what photos they would need. But they couldn’t cover up the blood stain from his slit throat that was still slowly gushing away. You had to admit, even though he was annoying, you felt bad for having the man’s life cut short like this.

“Yeah, yeah. Raphael. Like the ninja turtle. He was calling someone named Raphael in heaven. The scary man killed the attractive crying man. And then he started to pray.” You and the boys spotted the homeless man who witnessed the murder give a statement to a detective. The three of you decided to ask him to repeat his story. But it seemed no matter where you went, people always were afraid to admit what they saw. “And the strange part...after a while, I swear I heard this voice answering.”

“What it’d say?” You asked the man in a serious voice. You gave him your full attention, giving him no indication you were going to laugh in his face like the detective had. He had doubts you and the boys were going to believe anything else that came out of his mouth.

“You know, it didn’t make any sense.” The man mumbled. You gave him a smile, telling him to try you. All of you heard a lot of crazy stuff over the past twenty four hours. What he was about to say probably would be the only thing you would be able to understand since landing in this mixed up universe. “The voice said for Virgil to return tomorrow at the place where he crossed over at the the time of the crossing. And Raphael would reach through the window and take him and the key home.”

You knew exactly what to make of what the man just said, and none of it left a good feeling in your stomach. You put on a smile for his cooperation and shoved a hand inside your pocket, pulling out some money for him. You pulled out what looked like a fifty in Canadian dollars and thanked him for his help. As he walked away, your smile slowly began to disappear and a sigh of frustration fell from your mouth. You should have known that goon was sent over by Raphael, the pain in your ass that was hellbent on kick starting the apocalypse all over again. No matter how many times you tried to put out the fire, he kept igniting it back up.

“Guys, if Virgil gets back with that key, Cas is dead and our world is toast.” Sam said. He tried painting you a picture of the grim reality of the consequences that would happen if none of you put a stop to this. You didn’t need to be told twice to go after Virgil and kick his ass.

"Well, then we stop him. I mean, how bad can an angel with no wings be?" Dean asked. You and the boys thought Virgil was just a plain old Joe like the rest of you. You thought that he was going to be an easy target to take down. And he might have been. But you forgot what humans will do in order to make themselves the most powerful one around.

+ + +

You and the boys headed back to the studio after getting some helpful insight from the homeless guy that was now fifty bucks richer. It was a waiting game now for what was to come. You sat yourself down on the ratty old couch that you spent so many days before in another universe, discussing conversations about hunts or the end of the world that you tried to stop. Now it was just a prop, useless like the rest of the junk in this place. The three of you were silent for a little while since you arrived, trying to keep out for anything that might tip off Virgil’s whereabouts. If he wanted to leave with the key, he’d have to come back here. You looked down at your hand to see you were still wearing the ring that was supposed to belong to Y/F/N, a woman you were pretending to be over the past twenty four hours since you were thrown into this disaster. She was the well-established actress that played you, with two parents and engaged to the man that you thought was your good friend from back home. While it might have looked like a perfect life for you to stay and enjoy, it was far from it.

Back in your own world, you were happily romantically involved with Dean and best friends with his little brother. The three of you were your own dysfunctional, yet loving family. I In this universe you were once engaged until things turned sour. None of you talked, none of you were close—or even friends for that matter. You’d rather be in your own universe that was nameless to the people around you, with your real family that loved and talked, even bickered with half the time. And nothing was more rewarding than being a hunter than playing one on TV. “You know that if we drop Virgil, get the key, then this might be it.” Dean’s voice broke your concentration on the diamond ring that shined underneath the studio lights. You looked up at him to hear what he had to say. “We might be stuck here.” “No, we'll figure out a way back.” Sam said, staying positive the outcome of the situation ending up with all of you home again. “Yeah, you wouldn't be that broken up if we didn't, though.” Dean said. You furrowed your brow and told him not to be stupid. He was thinking of the silver lining of this situation you were choosing to ignore. “Well, I'm just saying. No hell below us, above us only sky.” “Dean,” You spoke up, reminding him of a life and things that money couldn't buy. Nothing could touch what you had back at home that was worth everything here, cheesy as it sounded to you. But it was true. “Our friends are back there.” “Yeah, but here, you two got a pretty good life. I mean, back home, the hits have been coming since you were two and Sammy was six months old.” Dean argues you his points of to stay. “You got to admit, being a bazillionaire, married to Ruby, the whole package. It's no contest.” “Yeah. It’s pretty fun. But there’s something I don’t have here that I do back at home.” You reminded the older Winchester about the benefits of going back home. You pushed yourself up to your feet and headed over to him. As your lips stretched into a smile, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him into a simple kiss to show what you meant. “That’s you, knucklehead. Screw everything. We don’t mean the same thing here. I mean, you two aren’t even brothers. The worst tragedy is that Sammy and I aren’t even besties.” Sam let out a quiet chuckle from your odd choice of words, “Besties?” “That’s right, Sasquatch. I said besties. You got a problem with that?” You looked over at Sam when you questioned his tone of voice with an arched brow. He shook his head and smiled. “Now, you two idiots want to get back to where we belong or spend another day attempting to act?” “Yeah, no. Let's get our crazy show back home.” Dean muttered. He settled his hands on your waist for a moment when you forced him to relive the agonizing catastrophe that was from earlier today. You smiled when he suddenly became eager to get this plan in motion. You were about to open your mouth and say something, but you suddenly found yourself stricken silent by the sound of an echoing noise that was all too familiar. “Call me crazy, but was that a gunshot?”

You and the boys investigated the noise to see it was just that. Two dead bodies from fatal gunshot wounds and several casualties left to bleed out. You caught sight of Virgil who was back with a vengeance. He might be an angel without wings, but he knew the next best thing. Before anyone else could get hurt, the three of you made a plan to take Virgil down once and for all. He took three more shots before you jumped out of nowhere.

"Hey!" You shouted on the top of your lungs. You waved your arms in the air in attempt to get his attention. Your lips stretched into a smirk when you saw him standing there with what looked like an empty shotgun and nothing more than a pistol. The way he was shooting off with the rounds, he'd be out soon. "Come get me you—"

Before you could finish your taunting, Virgil quickly turned around where he stood and brought up the pistol to where you stood and shot off another round. You managed to get out of the way just in time before the bullet landed in your head instead of the glass. Before he could try again, Dean came out of nowhere, tackling Virgil, the both of them falling against a wobbly wall and into another set that looked like a motel room. Dean wasted no time in throwing punches and trying to keep Virgil down for long as he could until you and Sam came barging into the room.

The boys went after Virgil to make it an unfair fight of two against one. You searched every pocket that you could on the man, from his pants to the jacket, but you barely coming up with anything. While you mentally cursed at how much room you were working with, you found success when you felt something cold brush against your fingers. Your lips stretched into a victorious smile when you yanked out the key Balthazar gave you to hold onto.

"Guys!" You pushed yourself up to your feet and held up the key. "I got it."

When the boys got done with Virgil, you could tell from just one glance that he wasn’t going to be bothering anyone for a while. You were about to reach out your foot to kick him lightly to see if he was even still alive. But you found your attention lingering to the chaos that was about to unravel. You felt the ground beneath you and everything around you begin to shake. You had a feeling this was the place where Virgil was supposed to be, where he crossed over and pulled back into your universe. The person who made the promise was an enemy you really didn’t want to see after all you went through here.

You warned for the boys to run when you looked over your shoulder and saw a familiar sigil suddenly appear on the window. No matter how fast you thought you were, Raphael would always be stronger. You took one lunging step forward before you felt yourself being yanked backwards by an invisible force and straight into the glass window. Unlike the first time, you weren't as lucky to get a cushioned fall. You landed face first on the pavement littered with pieces of broken glass and wood.

You didn’t know which one hurt more, the shards of glass digging into your palm or the aching pain in your body from being thrown around like a ragdoll. You managed to gather enough energy to reach out a hand and slowly push yourself up to more of a kneeling position. When you looked up, you expected to be greeted by the sight of Raphael, whose personal choice of vessel were more of the male variety. But you were greeted with a little change.

"You three," Raphael approached you and the boys with a calm stride. You pushed yourself up to your feet and eyed him carefully, wondering if he was going to try and pull anything. "Have the strangest luck."

“Raphael. I have to say, nice meatsuit.” You complimented the archangel on his choice of female he picked out. Flattery was the sincerest form of kindness, Raphael didn’t crack a smile.

All of a sudden you felt yourself in agonizing pain from the simple clench of Raphael's fist. You felt your knees buckle underneath you as your hands pressed themselves against your stomach. Raphael showed no remorse when he demanded to know where the key was. He found it on his own when he saw it on the ground just a few inches from where he stood. So much trouble for one little key. While the archangel believed that it was the answer to solve all his problems, it turned out it wasn’t that significant, after all.

“And that will open you a locker at the Albany bus station.” You felt the pain vanish quickly as it came from a familiar accent you heard from earlier tonight. It was Balthazar, here to collect what you had tried so hard to keep onto. You pushed yourself up to your feet when you heard what that damn key was all about. "You see, I needed a modest decoy to make it more convincing.

“Give me the weapons.” Raphael demanded.

“Sorry, darling. They’re gone.” Balthazar said. It seemed the archangel wasn’t very pleased to hear the news from the tone of his voice. And you weren't either from the brilliant plan Balthazar had up his sleeve. “I said, too bloody late. You see, they were so well hidden that I needed time to find them. So I volunteered Y/N and her two marmosets for a game of fetch with Virgil. You three were such an adequate stick. Thank you. Thank you.”

“You’ve made your last mistake.” Raphael said. He was growing tired of the games an angel beneath him in power and strength was trying to play. You swallowed slightly from the snarky remark Balthazar used to reply.

“I’ve got a few more tricks up my sleeve, honey.”

Raphael didn’t like the pet names he was hearing. He began walking towards the angel, ready to lay down the law and get what he wanted. But before he could lay a single finger on any of you, a familiar voice you knew well rang out. “Step away from him Raphael.” Cas warned. You looked to see it was the angel himself. “I have the weapons now. The power is with me. If you don’t want to die tonight, back off.”

It seemed Raphael knew when to listen. You blinked, and just like that, he was gone from your sight. You didn't have a good feeling about any of what just unravel. But to Balthazar and Cas, it was a successful night. “Now that you have your sword, try not to die by it.” The parting words by Balthazar were for his fellow brother, who had done just about everything to get what he wanted for a fight neither you or the boys understood.

"Cas, what the hell?" You had your questions when you saw the angel walk up to you after Balthazar vanished into thin air. Your head felt like it was still spinning from everything that was going on. But before you could pester him, you noticed your surroundings changed. Cas transported you and the boys back to Bobby's house with the broken window and the storm brewing outside. All as what it was, like no time had passed. You were quick to catch Cas when you started to make sense of this situation. “You were in on this, weren't you? Using us as diversion?”

“It was Balthazar’s plan.” The angel explained his reasoning. You scoffed at his pathetic excuse that sounded anything but stupid and risky on your part alone. “I would have done the same thing.”

“That’s not comforting, Cas.” Dean said.

“When will I be able to make you understand? If I lose against Raphael, we all lose everything.” Cas told you the same line that you’ve been hearing for months now.

“Yeah, Cas, we know the stakes.” You reminded the angel. “That’s all about you’ve told us.”

“I’m sorry about all of this.” Cas apologized. You noticed that his gaze was in your direction, but he avoided any sort of eye contact with you. “I’ll explain when I can.”

You had a feeling that's all you were going to get from Cas. You let out a sigh of frustration when he disappeared from your sight, leaving you and the boys alone with more questions and no answers. Dean rolled his eyes and muttered about freaking angels. They were no good. Dean wiped his hands with his face from the troublesome past few days as you inspected the damage you were going to have to explain to Bobby when he got back. Sam found himself walking across the room and to the doorway. Your head quickly snapped in his direction when you heard him whack the wall a few times.

“Solid. It’s real.” Sam clarified. “Nice.”

“Yeah. Real, moldy, termite-eaten home, sweet home. Chock full of crap that wanna skin you. Oh,” Dean couldn’t forget the most glamorous detail that was the least exciting part of being back in your own universe. “We’re broke again.”

"True. But...at least we're talking.” You reminded the older Winchester one detail that the most important one of all. Dean didn’t find it amusing as you did. He turned his head slightly to roll his eyes as his lips stretched into a smile from your sarcastic remark. “Now, wipe that smirk off your face and find a tarp or something. Bobby’s gonna be home soon.”

+ + +

Josh didn’t know the last time since he laughed, let alone, smiled. He was hunched over in his office chair with his laptop open to at least six different browsers and a dozen or so dusty books crowded around his wooden desk that was a hand-me down from his grandmother. He smiled slightly as he sank his teeth down harder against his thumb, half listening to the story you were telling over the past few minutes. It had been months since the last time that he'd seen you, and three weeks since he'd gotten a phone call. You told him that you'd been busy, so had he.

You and him had a very peculiar friendship over the past decade and a half. He knew you since you were a freshman in high school and next door neighbors after his parents died tragically in a car accident. You helped him through one of the worst times in his life by sharing a bit of your past. The both of you had grown closer by sharing a liking to things most people their age found nerdy and tried your hardest in school. Since he was a year older than you, he would help tutor you in subjects you were struggling with a bit. On Tuesdays it was your place after school, and on Wednesdays it would be at his.

Unfortunately your friendship that had been growing for a few years was cut short when Josh graduated early and got accepted to a college halfway across the country. He broke the news to you on the front porch of his house when you knocked on his door. Your friends had been teasing you for weeks to ask him out. And with the winter formal not too far away, you gathered all the courage you had to ask him to do it. He’d been trying since the beginning of the school year to tell you the news of his departure.

Your friendship was before the social media days, nobody had Twitter or Facebook to drop a message. If you lost someone's number, email or home address, you lost them forever. Josh focused on college and strived for almost eight years to do what he wanted, and that was to become a professor. There was something about shaping the minds of tomorrow. He came from a family of educators and army vets. It was either go to college or sign up for the Marines like his father and father before him, and so on. Josh chose education.

His path was paved by his loving mother. He remembered the way she would go on about the subject she taught. Josh was always fascinated with helping people and teaching to the future of tomorrow. He knew the process was long and tedious, but it was what he wanted. Everything was going well...until 2006. Josh hazily remembered the time he was possessed. It happened one day out of the blue while he was on campus, studying like he had been for the past eight tedious years. His entire future was right in front of him—and just like that, it was gone.

He was upset to see all of his scholarships and money from his parents' insurance go to waste after his sudden absence caused him to fail for the year. But Josh found comfort in how his life ended up. All though he had a Masters in teaching and qualified for a job, he didn't want to after he got a taste for the supernatural. He got himself a comfortable apartment just fifteen minutes from where his grandparents lived and worked at a respectable bookstore that covered all his basic necessities. And then some. He reached out a hand to touch the rare book that he wasn’t supposed to even have. His boss was on vacation for a week, she’d never know it was gone.

“That’s honestly...hilarious, and yet sort of creepy.” Josh admitted. He forced himself to smile at what you told him, acting as if you were standing right in front of him when you told him about the alternative universe where you landed yourself in where you and him were actors, engaged to be married. He grimaced even at the thought of being romantically involved with you. “Well, I’m glad you guys are back safe and sound. Try to stay out of trouble, okay?”

"I highly doubt that. Trouble follows us around like a magnet. And then some." You said. You let out a sigh from other end of the line. You were silent for a moment, letting this be the opportunity where he would say to come back in one piece. Josh found himself staring at a picture of his grandparents. Happy, healthy. "Josh? You still there?"

“What—Yeah, yeah.” Josh muttered underneath his breath. He stood straight up in his seat and looked over to the laptop screen when it suddenly went black from the lack of attention. He swiped a finger over the mousepad, bringing life back to the machine. “I’ve just got...a lot on my plate right now. It’s making me a little out of my mind.”

"Are things okay with you?" Your voice changed into concern from what you heard, forgetting all about the story you had called up to tell him. "Are your grandparents all right?"

"They're fine. Don't worry about them, Y/N." Josh lied right through his teeth. He didn't have the heart to tell you about how his grandmother was in hopsic, his grandfather right on his way. It came with old age, but they were his only real family left. So were you. And he was doing a lot of stupid things to keep the people he cared for safe. "Look, I'll let you go. You have a window to fix, right?"

You sounded uneasy letting him go, but he felt relief when the dial tone came after you mumbled a goodbye. Josh dropped his cell phone to the desk and covered his face in his hands. He thought his life turned upside down when he learned about the monsters he watched in black and white horror movies and in novels he read over the covers as a child were real. But that was just a mild taste to what he'd been going through over the past year and a half since you returned back from the dead. Again. Angels, demons—purgatory, None of it made sense when they told him about it. The only thing that caught his attention was the word deal.

Josh dropped his hands back down to the desk and turned his gaze to the laptop screen that displayed information about demons and souls. It told him the process of how one turned into it and creatures that were half demon, but they didn’t tell him a damn thing about how to make one human.

"All play and no work makes Josh a useless boy." Josh flinched at the sound of that arrogant, egotistical accent fill his apartment. He didn't need to turn his head to know that he was here for his check up. He came out of random, the king didn't need a request to pop out of thin air. Josh did it anyway. He was surprised to see that Crowley wasn't alone. Castiel never made an appearance, unless it was more an emergency. "Time's ticking. And I'm not talking about pops."

"I've spent months looking into every dusty book  you gave me and countless hours researching for something that doesn't exist." Josh said. He hastily pushed himself up to his feet, his chair falling to the ground. The demon and angel didn’t flinch. "What the hell am I looking for, exactly?”

"Where you can shove that attitude of yours, mate." Crowley threatened the younger man. Josh decided to play with his odds tonight from the glare he threw at the demon.

“I have an idea of how to solve this problem. It requires one more step. I need a spell in order to make this plan work properly in our favor. It’s heavy black magic that can be found in a book. But it's been lost for centuries. I know from a friend that it's somewhere here in the states. That should help start your search.” Castiel spoke up, stopping the demon from killing the only human they had working up front for them. He wasn't ideal, but Josh was smart and he had a connection to you like the Winchesters had. Which meant he was easy to manipulate into doing whatever they needed. "If you can locate it, I think we have a chance to putting a stop to this once and for all."

"So it could be anywhere in this freaking country? Is that what you’re telling me?” Josh demanded to know from the questions he was throwing to the two creatures. Crowley raises a brow from the tone of voice being used against him. “You can freaking teleport. Hell, why not go to the Winchesters and ask for help?”

"Because those mongols think I’m dead. And we’re going to keep it that way. Besides, they’re working on a side project for us at the moment. And unlike you, we've got prior commitments that demand our full attention." Crowley reminded the man. "I've got Hell to run and Cas here is busy fighting a war in Heaven. It's very tedious work. Why do you think we came to you in the first place?"

Josh could feel his jaw tighten in frustration from the way he was being spoken to. Much as he would love to see the two of these bastards get what they deserved, you and his grandparents were more important to him than anything. "If I do this...You promise me this won't count against me? You'll make sure they're okay?"

“I can only promise if you do as we say and not speak a word of this to anyone else.” Cas said. “Find the spell and we’ll tell you what to do next. If you do, we can get Y/N back to normal. And we can extend your grandparents lives for a little while longer. But that’s only if you help us.”

Josh’s gaze fell to the ground, feeling ashamed at what he was being dragged further into. It sounded nice to say, but he knew it was a lie. He was a willing participant in this mess. Because he was too far in to get out, afraid of what would happen if he said no. Because, most important of all, he wanted you away from this lifestyle for good and miles from those Winchesters. “Fine. Give me a place to start. I’ll leave in an hour.”

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[codename-bewareofthefangirl]

Heyy can you pair me up? I'm a 21 year old girl, INFP, Gemini, 5 feet 1, short and loud and also rather sensitive. I look a lot younger than I am. Hangs more with guys and the momfriend that people come to for advice; but also easily angered and really impatient. Loves to sleep during free time, plays video games and draws. Booksmart but can't do sports for life. A procrastinator with a fear of failure. Loves food and would eat anything. I hope this is enough and thanks!

Oops just realised I should’ve specified that I hope to be paired with BNHA and Haikyuu boys, also adding that I’m doing chemical engineering in uni (I’m the INFP, gemini 5 feet 1 girl)

Hey, love! Thank you so much for your request, I hope you’re happy and satisfied with your matches! 

In the Haikyuu!! Universe

Kuroo Tetsurou would love you for eternity.

·        Kuroo would take advantage of your height and tease you all the time, nothing too relentless or hurtful, just little, playful teases while standing to his full height and leaning back further and further as you continuously try to kiss him, and if he ever did accidentally insult you, he’d apologize right away and snuggle all the insecurities away.

·        Kuroo isn’t unfamiliar with noise, he has Bokuto as a friend, after all. He’d love to listen to your voice, so be as loud as you want! He’d find pleasure in hearing you rant or fangirl! He’d sit and listen for hours, just to hear your voice.

·        Looks aren’t really a deciding factor for this boy, but he’s definitely not complaining, he loves how young you look! He adores all your lively features and compliments you daily, always kissing your cheek as he does so. He’s the kind of sap to just get lost in you, gazing lovingly at you from across the room as you get ready for the day together.

·        You two are similar when it comes to being the parental friend. Kuroo has his team to look after and the new addition of Lev revealed a whole new level of fatherly tendencies and behavior. You and he would undoubtedly be dubbed “Mom and Dad” of the Nekoma volleyball club and watch over all the younger members.

·        Kuroo would love to see you teach some poor fool their place, but if you get too fired up, he’d gently wrap his arm around your waist and start pulling you in the opposite direction, all the while chuckling fondly. Same when you get too impatient, he’d silently pull you into his side and caress your arm to distract you as you two wait.

·        He’d honestly sleep right there along with you during free time or whenever, really. Kuroo is practically a cat as it is, he’d have no problem cuddling you to his chest, snuggling you in under his chin and getting some shut-eye.

·        He’d love to sit back and watch you play your video games or even join in if you’d have him. You’d have so many competitions, and don’t put it past him to play dirty! He’d try all kinds of different techniques, tickling you, blocking your view, playful shoving, anything to distract you from your mission, and he’d defend his actions by smirking and declaring “All’s fair in love and war, love.”

·        He’d love to watch you draw, as well. He’d be right over your shoulder, resting his head on you as he watches you place each stroke carefully and with great patience. He’d be enraptured with your calm determination as you effortlessly paint what he’d deem a masterpiece. He’d buy you all the supplies you’d ever want and even a graphics tablet if you decided to go digital. He’d ask your permission to hang the pieces all over his room, so he could look at them and think of you even during the infrequent and short times you are apart.

·        Kuroo is a bookworm when it comes to science, as well. He’d enjoy studying late into the night with you.

·        He wouldn’t force you to play volleyball if you really didn’t want to, but he’d love to share his second love with you, if you’d allow him. He wouldn’t care if you weren’t the best at the sport, he’d be so very happy and content if he could just share his dream with the love of his life.

·        He’d push you to not procrastinate so much, for fear you’d stress yourself out when the workload gets too much or you have no choice but to rush. He’d have little work sessions throughout the week, much like your study sessions, where you get together to work on whatever needs to be worked on and he’d slowly push you to complete the work earlier in the week, before the due date, and he’d bait you to keep it that way by taking you out on the weekends you’d usually wouldn’t have open if you had procrastinated. He’d reward you for your hard work that week with movie nights, dinner dates, and the like.

·        Kuroo loves food, as well. He’d take you out to a nice restaurant for a lovely, romantic dinner or, if you prefer, you two would stay in and fix a nice dinner together, but watch out, Kuroo would likely eat the ingredients needed whenever you turn away. You’d be explaining the recipe as you move away and when you turn around, he’d have a half-eaten carrot in his mouth as he stared frozen at you with big, innocent eyes, daring you to blame and reprimand him even as the evidence was so very obviously there.

Mod Jen

Hi dear! Sorry if we’ve made you wait! I hope you’ll like your matches!

In the BnHA Universe

Kirishima Ejirou is your sunshine!

-Kirishima likes a cheerful and noisy environment. Your voice, music, people chatting…he feels at ease, it means people are alive and happy around him. He’s the type who screams from the balcony to greet you when you arrive home or to join you from the living room when you sing under the shower. If you get excited and scream, probably he’ll get excited too and make as much noise as you do. (Bakugou sometimes has to threaten the two of you to shut the fuck up)

-He loves that you’re so small! It means he can easily hug, carry, poke and tickle you as much as he wants. He loves draping himself over you and nuzzling against your neck.

-The only moment he appreciates quietness is when you are sleeping against his chest and he can stare at your calm, beautiful face. He stays still, rubbing soothing circles on your hip or brushing gently your hair.

-You both love eating and that’s fantastic because you don’t have to be shy about how hungry you are. Things get more complicated when there’s only one slice of pizza left: tickle and pillow fights ensue.

-He likes to be a gentleman and to pay for your food, but if you insist sometimes he lets you share the bill.

-You’ve fun cooking together, even if neither of you is really good at it. You try new, strange mixture of ingredients or play with the food. Playing around in the kitchen is a must-do for you.

-You’re the first one he searches for when he doubts himself or get stressed about hero-things. He feels better when he has your opinion about it too and trusts your advice completely. Obviously, he’s also there for you when you need him and tries his best to be of help: he gets very firm and serious when you blame yourself for failing at something or for a mistake; cuddles and kisses arrive only after you’ve recognized you’re worth even when making mistakes and it’s not a catastrophe.

-Kirishima being a ball of energy who wants to do, do and do, you really don’t have the time to procrastinate! Even when you’re not in the mood, he bribes you or stays with you whatever you’re doing and motivates you with food or kisses. He doesn’t like to force you, but he knows how stressed you get when you procrastinate too much.

-Thank goodness you’re book smart because he needs someone to help him. Between you and Bakugou, he arrives at the end of the semester with (soon or less) ease. Sometimes he feels very stupid for not being “brilliant like you, SO!” so you have to scold him or kiss his worries away that he’s not stupid and even if he has difficulties studying he has many other perks.

-He likes dragging you out to do sports! He knows you’re horrible at it, yet he doesn’t care. Krishna just enjoys being there with you and trying to teach you how to play, joking and playing around. He also thinks that it’s the perfect excuse for a bit of skin-to-skin contact. Half of the times you end up rolling in the grass and laughing.

-He’s protective of you, even if he knows perfectly that you can kick ass by yourself. He’d never admit it but the first time he saw you angry he felt intimidated (and a bit turned-on).

-Your video gaming nights get heated quickly. When Bakugou joins you, everyone in the Dorm doesn’t sleep ‘cause they can hear your yells and curses as if they were in the room.

Mod Code

#bnha matchups #haikyuu matchups #mod jen #mod code