#thats literally the shit my delusions are about.

[moodr1ng]

im in this nonwhite-only lgbt group in my city (or at least i attended like 1 event and im in their whatsapp groups) and like im glad to be in it ig but also the fucking conversations are abysmal. someone just sent a message warning people to mask up bc theres another rise in covid cases and someone else replied "were filling up on essential oils!" and im just expected to act like thats a reasonable thing to say. this new age shit in lgbt spaces is insane to me like.

#97 #all the new agey shit makes me insane. #in the one event i attended i had to leave at some point bc everyone started talking about like.. #their crystals and astrology leading to a conversation on like evil vibes and malevolent entities and shit #and i had to go in the bathroom and chill myself down bc that shit is like. so paranoia inducing. #like they were essentially talking like this was known fact about how theres bad entities that live in your home and can attack you at nigh #thats literally the shit my delusions are about. #and im not usually on the side of like 'everyone has to tailor their conversations to avoid triggering stuff' i dont believe that #but its the like.. how personal religious/spiritual/new age beliefs are treated as accepted reality in these spaces #without you opting into that youre kinda expected to participate in lengthy convos about spiritual shit and its like. #this is a group about being lgbt (in this particular case being poc as well but it happens in every lgbt group) yet it seems almost like.. #people think discussing new age spiritual beliefs is an integral part of leftist/lgbt organizing and assume that everyone believes in it #like idk maybe bring back spiritism clubs and go do that and have fun. they were kinda cunty you could def bring that back. #hell yknow if i was prepared to talk about some heavily paranoia/unreality inducing shit and i knew it was coming id even attend #events surrounding the subject i think it can be interesting + have some of my own beliefs #but like. yknow how when i go on a tangent about my strange beliefs i tag that shit unreality bc ik talking about it like its applicable #to everyone is harmful? yeah.

[anxiously-sidequesting]

I know we as a fandom all love to shit on Duncan whenever we get the chance (see: me posting Duncan GruncanWuncan) especially since the like, two times we ever see him he's shitting on us for being ourselves then tries to kill us because of his own delusions of grandeur but I thought about it and I was like, "......man that's kinda Sad actually"

BECAUSE seeing this from Duncan's perspective; he's The Best, he always has been the best, but reality constantly shows him that isn't true (Malorn, The Wizard, anyone else)

Like imagine how painful that can be when you think something that you truly deserved and something that you've fought for, maybe for your entire life, is seemingly handed to others who aren't nearly as deserving as you

And yeah WE know that Duncan has neither worked (very hard, at least) for his perceived greatness NOR does he truly """deserve""" it (Duncan has been shown to be shirking his duties off to us and possibly others for his own gain), but DUNCAN doesn't know this. Like in his mind he truly, honestly, genuinely believes with his whole fragile heart that he is just above everyone else and puts more effort in trying to convince others of that rather than literally just trying to work towards that himself

And then there's the extra added insult that even in his own class he's pretty mediocre. Duncan INSISTS that he was Malistaire's best student and that he praised Duncan maybe once and that all other Death students only wish they could be like him, but... Malorn. And I bet deep down Duncan KNOWS that in fact Malorn was Malistaire's best and most talented. And Duncan can't even really twist that in his mind because it was made solid when Malorn took over Malistaire's duties instead of him. It was proven as a hard fact that Malorn was more suited to the job than Duncan was and is widely recognized as being The Best Death student (if the YW isn't a Necromancer)

Okay so fine. Whatever it's just Death right? At least Duncan can be the best at ANYTHING ELSE, maybe he's not the most talented Necromancer but there's 6 more types of magic to excel in!!!

But then another person ruins that. The Young Wizard poofs in from another world and suddenly, Duncan is overshadowed once more because a literal child prodigy and Local Hero arrives and literally saves their world and then, the universe. Multiple times in fact

Like bro I can imagine that could be at least a little bit painful for anyone, but imagine with Duncan's already low self-esteem and his fragile, large ego, he literally and genuinely took that personally and a hit to your pride is devastating for anyone, no matter who you are. That was like, Strike Three for Duncan and it was so very personal and important to him that it left him in a deep and vulnerable state

But I think the absolute saddest part of Duncan's downfall is that near the end, he was ultimately manipulated by an adult. A grown ass adult noticed and acknowledged his insecurities and purposely struck where it hurts the most, in his weakest state. Duncan already wasn't thinking clearly from the start but when everything went to shit for him and he was clinging, Gretta DarkKettle approached him and completely broke him down to make him into something else entirely for the Schism's benefit.

Of course Duncan was a piece of shit from the start but he truly didn't have any malicious intentions until Gretta messed with his mind. Like, he went from a pretty much harmless bully to an actual criminal of the state and a threat to the literal universe. Duncan was CORRUPTED and all of his worst fears and delusions were solidified the moment Gretta """validated""" those feelings Duncan had.

Is Duncan completely blameless? Fuck no he did some fucked up shit actually and I'm glad he was held accountable for it by the narrative and the fandom!!! But I think it's something to be said that at the end of the day, Duncan was still a child that was suffering from many type of issues before being recruited and manipulated by a powerful literal cult. Wizard101 does have a theme of malicious intending and less than responsible adults using children to get what they want (Malistaire, Morganthe's brother, GF Spider, GM Raven, coughcoughAmbrose) but unlike the Young Wizard who successfully stays true to themselves despite that, Duncan had a more Morganthe-like route and ultimately succumbed to it. Of course their situations are a lot different since the YW wasn't brought in by a cult, but you can't help but feel bad for someone so young being preyed on by older people who are supposed to look out for them and protect them from something just LIKE that.

I will always shit on Duncan because it's funny and hold him accountable for his actions because he should, but I also feel bad for him and I hope he had a better ending after he was defeated

#this isnt like a callout post btw LMAO everyone is free to feel how they feel #this isnt me like shitting on the fandom or anything pls dont feel that way #i just think duncans situation is really interesting and kinda important to look at beneath all the memes and stuff #duncan is a loser in my heart but he's a victim in my soul. poor kid #also think about the fact that he STILL wasnt strong enough even after all that. we still defeated him #he spent most of his young life having all that resentment and anger and hatred in his heart- #-and thought it would all finally be worth it once we were dead but that also fell apart #my fave types of villains are the ones who trult believe they were right/were wronged by the world #duncan literally had delusions of granduer. thats super tough to get over #the feelings and belief of self can be so so important to someone #what you truly believe about YOURSELF is like the core. it can even be more important that religion/family/etc. for some people #it personally makes sense to me that duncan would feel so broken after having that 'taken' away from him #because if you dont have yourself to count on then who???? what else is there #also sad because literally the wizard did nothing to him. we were just minding our own business but duncan still took it personally #it didnt have to be that way at ALL and i hope he gets some therapy and gretta gets locked up forever #anyway. im normal #wizard101 #w101 #wiz101 #duncan grimwater #long post #text post

[snekdood]

me, on the one hand: its weird to gatekeep people identifying with characters just bc they don't share their same race

also me, upon watching a video of someone wanting the saiyans to be in ssj form 24/7: you just want them to be blonde with blue eyes all the time bc you're mad that otherwise you can't project on to them since they're likely asian 🙄

#ig these aren't mutually exclusive stances but still #in fact if anything it bolsters my former stance bc why tf cant you just identify with them as they are #anyways ive been holding this back bc of whiney people on here but yes i kin with bruno from encanto and theres nothing you can do #to stop me. #if i relate to him in every other way ASIDE from being fuckin colombian then thats a very stupid and arbitrary line to draw im sorry and #i also dont care about your weird gatekeeping #its almost like familial abuse isnt restricted to ones race and also race is fake but anyways #fuck your weird ''white' people cant imprint on these characters' shit like. you're literally trying to stop ppl from seeing themselves #in other races. how tf do you think thats beneficial to stopping racism like AT ALL? #me when i hate when 'white' ppl put themselves in my shoes and try to empathize with me #me when i reinforce the racial binary and act like its real and not made up by white supremacists and pretend im not contributing #to white supremacists' delusion that race is real #theres literally a woman who would conventionally be recognized as white in the movie but ig gingers cant imprint on her at all or w/e #bc they dont speak spanish or something idk. is it about skin tones? bc babe give me a couple of days on the beach and ill look like bruno #dsjhfsvdhjvgfhdsvhgdf #and no i dont believe you if you try to say that the abuse he faced was somehow unique to colombian culture or something. #if anything that kinda abuse was prolly passed down from europeans who colonized the lands so i have even MORE of a reason #to feel like i can identify w it since im mostly of 'european' decent ._. #at least as far as ik. #('european' is in quotation marks bc its a place w a lot of different types of people some of which aren't recognized as white by #some white supremacists even and idk what im mixed with so)

[anti-transphobia]

I have so many rants about the kin community saved up. I'm not anti kin as in the initial form of it but I'm anti all the bullshit that's come from ableists mocking it. Like non psychotics mocked psychotic people endlessly and then decided to as a joke invade their community and steal their terms all the while mocking people who take it "too seriously" and continually pushed the psychotic people out until they were forced to eventually make new terms like "delusional attachment"

Huge rant about the past 5-10 years of kin community stuff on Tumblr incoming. Including a LOT of reality checking. Be warned

I see a lot of arguments from non psychotic people that like to "kin" that its not a psychotic thing. And hell, I've seen it from actually psychotic people who do kin who say it too! But while the ableism was evil and unwarranted, what was being said was true: it is a delusion. That is a fact. And part of the old community was....generally not acknowledging this. Because that's reality checking. Which can be dangerous. But the facts still remain - it was a mostly psychotic group. That doesn't make the beliefs any less real or important to the people involved. That's what a delusion is. And there's a lot of a deeper nuance to the kin community and psychosis and how to an extent it helped people with their delusions, but getting too involved made countless people worse. Double edged sword. I remember talking to many other psychotic people in the past who described their troubled relationship to a community that fed into delusions too much and could make it worse. But I'm not going to go into that right now.

Point is most kinners were either psychotic as a whole, part of a system and didn't realize it, had trauma that led to it being a coping mechanism, or hell even an animal regressor. It's a mentally ill thing, and that's okay! And there have always been people that struggled to acknowledge that, which I fully understand, because not only is that the nature of a delusion, but it really really sucks to be constantly bombarded with "it's not real, it's all in your head" and violent harassment from bigots and be told that yeah technically that's correct. Like a gay person being called gay as an insult. Just because it's correct it doesn't make it any less homophobic to mock someone for it. Doesn't mean the response needs to be to deny it though (though once again - I understand delusional people denying it because THAT'S LITERALLY PART OF DELUSIONS. Many people don't acknowledge it's a delusion until they've been out of the community for a while and have gotten better about it, from my experience)

I hate that I have to establish that it's a psychotic thing so hard but I do. Because people want to ignore it. Non psychotics want to downplay their role in what happened to the community. They made fun of kinners. They mocked a group of mentally ill people that were simply too weird for them. "I kin this" wasn't a pro kin joke. It was using that term to reference and make fun of otherkin by saying it whenever you related to something. This idea of "it's just relating to a character" became so pervasive that non psychotic people started to "kin"! They'd say they relate to a character (perfectly normal!!!) or have a strong attachment to one (perfectly normal esp for autistics!!!) and put them in a "kin list"!! So in that sense yeah the "kin" community is non psychotic because non psychotic people started using it for fun. As a joke

They even took "no doubles". Yeah. No doubles is ridiculous in a lot of contexts. Because that context was non psychotics taking it. Psychotic fictionkin said no doubles because it's a fucking delusion. And seeing someone else say they're the same person as you is one, reality checking, and two, *god damned terrifying*. Plenty of psychotic people are paranoid, that only makes it so much worse! "No doubles" was for mental safety. But of course down the line it just meant "I'm the boss of this character you're not allowed to like them as much as I do". It was entitlement. Sheer entitlement from non psychotics who saw the term, didn't even care to understand why people actually said it, and took it for their petty bullshit

The community grew more and more into people who either used kins as a completely lighthearted joke or just to mean characters they're really attached to/are part of their special interests. The problem isn't that people felt deep connections to characters. That's okay. The problem is taking another community's terms to do it. The problem is saying you're kin but then mocking the people who are "too" into it. The problem is kin being reduced to "relatable" so badly that people had to start using IRLs/delusional attachments. To start EMPHASIZING that it was a PSYCHOTIC ONLY THING. People have to beg to not be called kin now because the non psychotic associations make people not take it as seriously as it needs to be. Whether they were never part of the kin community before things got so much worse and genuinely don't know that it did used to be for them, or they are one of the people that were and were forced to abandon their old language. Regardless it's happened. And it's infuriating

I'm tired of non psychotics denying this history. Especially because I'm only referring to events that happened within the past 6-10 years. Not even the older history. Just the fairly recent stuff. They want to hold no accountability. They don't want to acknowledge that their "kinnie" jokes have always just been ableism. They don't want to remember that before they made their kin list, they mocked people for thinking they were animals. Take some accountability. Stop making shitty jokes. Even though there are PLENTY of people who still use kin genuinely, who still have a community, the damage has been done. They have to use disclaimers like "no kin for fun". And unlike the rest of you, still have to be careful and live in fear of harassment

#kinning #actually psychotic #reality check #i didn't go into soooo much here lmao #this is truly just a rundown #I'm not even going to bother going into the nuances of how the community itself affected psychotic people #basically it helped some hurt others helped a bit and then hurt even more #because when it comes to delusions and feeding into them you have to be really really careful #it's never been a 'normal' thing. it's for people who are ILL. and that's okay #it doesn't have to be for everyone #of course psychotic people who speak up on this tend to get harassed so lucky me #kin shit has led to me being harassed in the past when kinning wasnt even involved #basically. im paranoid about other people being me or stealing my identity and thoughts etc etc #in the past this blog actually used to get attention. like. many many years ago. and people were inspired to create their own blogs because #of me! that was fine. but one person copied my theme. like. being buttercup themed (in the past i had her name in my url) #and when i reacted poorly out of one. that paranoia. and TWO. the fact that terfs had created mockeries of my blog to harass me #i wasnt happy about it. this got chalked up to kin drama and i got yelled at by a ton of people for bringing kin drama into shit #it wasn't kinning at all. but because of the perception of 'kin is just liking a character ' thats what it was seen as #not someone who has literally had blogs made to impersonate and mock them who already had a fear of someone else being them or being another #person #that fear stemming from both my psychosis and dissociative disorder #but once again non psychotics dont give a shit and accused me of starting drama unnecessarily #and 'harassing a minor off the site' (they were literally older than me and all i did after initially expressing displeasure was say #that the antisemitic thing they said Wasnt Okay) #theres just so much to say on this topic that i can't because i need to lay the groundwork of this conversation every god damned time #because people wanna deny the type of people that made up the community and the damage they did #once again these communities weren't eradicated but the impacts on the Tumblr community at least were HUGE. twitter also has the same issues #due to all the ex tumblr users there. and general cultural osmosis #but it wasnt and still isn't as big of a thing as it ever was here #anyway if youre a non psychotic kinner who sees this and gets mad. too bad <3 dni

[dorylinae-supremacy]

Thinking about an AU where Techno, Wilbur and Tommy are all the harbingers of the actual entire apocalypse and Phil (just some insane guy) decides that those are in fact his kids and starts gaslighting the absolute shit out of them about it.

Rambles under cut!

I wanna try something where they're just more insidious and passive killers than anything else, theyre mostly just biding their time and watching as wherever they're lingering around gets sicker and just starts withering away.

They're a slow moving threat that just can't be stopped and for some reason (because Kristin thinks its funny) Phil just isnt affected by them.

Phil: Oh Techno's always been like that ever since he was a baby Techno: I have literally never met you a day in my life Tommy: Idk man... you have always been like that Wilbur: Oh my death he's actually getting to us

Its a mix of that combined with that "how did he know I was a gemini" meme

Phil: Wil! I brought you some salmon, I know how much you love it! Wilbur: How the fuck did you know I like salmon Phil: I'm your dad silly, of course I'd know :-)

I just think itd be super fun since Phil in this au is literally just some insane dude. He literally lies about their entire childhood but does it so consistently and so realistically that it throws them off guard.

I also have a few ideas where they start referring to Phil as their dad in the beginning as a sarcastic / mocking thing but accidentally just getting themselves even more adopted as they do it.

Phil: Wilbur put on a coat Wilbur: I don't need one! Techno: Go on, Wil. Listen to dad Wilbur: Ugh fine. Only because dad wants it, though

Stranger: Whos this? Tommy: Oh thats our dad. He kinda just tags along Stranger: Aww thats so sweet! You got his nose and everything Tommy: I- wh- no he's not actually our da- Phil: I know he did! Isn't he the cutest, spitting image isnt he? Tommy: You're not my dad! Stranger: Oh someones embarrassed! Phil: Yeah he's going through a rebellious phase right now

Just a mixture of things like that where it starts as calling him it but then accidentally actually giving him parental authority along with that.

I also wanna explore how Kristin and Phils relationship would be like. Maybe her as death being very bemused by this silly human that just decided she was his wife one day.

She literally visits him in dreams and stuff and he just acts as if they're married and have been for years. He complains about their 'rambunctious kids' and how he has to threaten them with her so that they behave sometimes. She finds it so silly and just cant help but play pretend.

Kristin: Hello, human Phil: My love! Its been so long since I've seen you Kristin: We've never met Phil: Oh don't say that! It hasnt been that long. I've just been far too occupied with our boys to visit too much Kristin: Our boys? I made them Phil: And they came out beautiful! I'm so glad Wil and Tech got your eyes. I was hoping they would.

I think that'd be a core part of this AU as well. Everyone is playing pretend but then it just fuzzies and it all becomes real for them. At first its a joke that Phil is her husband and their father but then they get lost in the fantasy and fun of it all and actually accept him as such.

Phil has no ulterior motives either, he's literally just a strange insane man that heard stories about neotrio and started thinking they were his kids one day. He genuinely believes his delusion and they end up accidentally making it a reality.

He just makes lucky guesses and plausible lies often enough that he's still shiny and new, he's still fun to play with and thats what ends up 'tricking' them all.

#dory writes #harbingers AU #dark sleepy bois inc #dark sbi

[arty-cakes]

being both a bretta and zote fan is so so painful actually ppl will always find some way to make sure they never interact again or use the latter to (seriously) demonize zote for stuff he never did while also mischaracterising bretta and i 💥👊💥🥊👊🤜🤛💥🤜👊🤜💥🤜💥🥊 🤜👊👊👊🤜💥 im not good at putting into words why this is frustrating

either make them divorced mortal enemies or reluctant friends who actually enjoy eachother's company either of those are funnier but why make up stuff that didnt happen and then pretend its canon and the reason why they should never talk again..... thats so boring

i was gonna leave this in the tags but no i wanna talk

i know im complaining here but its honestly not an issue i see a-lot like i do see them being enemies or friends in fancontent and to the ppl who do that ily very much. its always cool. and people like my dynamic too and when they let me know it makes me rlly happy lol

but i feel like people need to understand that not every situation is good or bad sometimes they are just. situations. like bretta and zote

and i still feel like there's this general misunderstanding about zote that needs to be cleared up which is that he's not actually.... a liar lol. or i mean the only person he lies to is himself and he's not pretending to be a knight he really BELIEVES he's a knight. don quixote coded like he rlly believes he killed the vengefly king and won the colosseum tournament and whatever. all confirmed by his dreamnail dialogue like it makes it REALLY CLEAR that he believes what hes saying. he's actually having delusions thats why most people in hollow knight choose to help him out its why he cant process life threatening situations. he's still annoying just because of his general personality but NOT because of his delusions. (i'd say something profound about how usefulness ties to worth in most people's subconscious and its rooted in ableism and its why zote hate is so loud and normalized but i dont know how to) basically he is not out here 'manipulating' anyone wtf

bretta's delusional too btw the game literally calls her out (gpz godhome description i think). personally i like that canon decided these two should meet and the result was this awfully tough dreamgod that u can fight 10x that's hilarious to me. if a fan made this up and it never happened in canon i would be like 'holy shit this should be a dlc this WOULD happen' because these two are just like that

also people seriously forget that bretta didnt just leave because of zote she left because of ghost too. girl just had enough of short knights ok she was done with both of them if you bring her back to town she's not suddenly gonna realize ghost is heroic and cool and be apologetic and want them back and zote's mad and jealous. <- this out here is mischaracterising ALL 3 of them its so juvenile what.... and i just dont think she'd care that much about either of them, a lot like how zote barely gives a shit about the infection or never realizes she left, they both have tunnel vision these two are the same do you see it

also tell me he was lying when he called ghost a beast because they are thats all they've been striving for this is a compliment to them i know it

this isnt reallyyy a rant. its a personal grievance because i like them both so i care about their portrayal and interactions and i like it when they aren't lonely. but also they're really light-hearted characters so why not just treat them like that....they go through shit and then they move on easily and go through it all over again. its been 7 years can we cut them a break. i dont wanna see anymore mischaracterising unless its really funny

#i get that this is specifically a hk fandom problem #so my only real solution was to leave the fandom 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️i dont engage with it that much anymore i usually talk to my mutuals+friends #it actually has made me happier! #and yeah there are a lot of fandom problems here i usually ignore them but this is one i actually want to call out a little

[krismasarson]

My taste in men is abysmal, absolutely disgusting, downright shameful, completely vile, just plain delusional, etc

My goofy ass could talk my friends asses off about how much I love Mammon (Helluva boss), Adam (Hazbin Hotel), Miguel (Spiderverse), Ganondorf/Ganon (LOZ), Gortash (BG3)((AND KARLACH IS LITERALLY FUCKIN WIFEY-)), Slashers, and countless others that I can't even name off the top of my head because Oh he did bad stuff? If idk bout it then it ain't my problem!

And it isn't even a "I can fix him" mindset, nah

I want him to be worse

Like yeah he's misogynistic and a huge fuckin beta boy bitch but like would he treat me good? Cause if those delusions are there I would turn my head and look the other way so fast-

Like if he loves me, cares about me, and treats me like I'm the best thing thats ever happened to him then I could give zero fucks less about what he do in his free time when he ain't looking at me with puppy dog eyes. And there is most definitely a psychological reason for this way of thinking and I could probably do extensive research on this goofy ass attraction to gross and degenerate males like I normally do with every other behavior of mine. But I am not going to-

This whole shit show of a rant was brought to you because Just a few days ago I was at a get together with friends and while all of us were bouncing our hyper fixations off of each other (you know like totally definitely neruo-typical people do, which is definitely what we are) the talk of Hazbin got brought up and my friends gave me the "Honey your taste in men is broken" and in response the quote that came out of my mouth, as a Trans FTM was

"If he's misogynistic that just makes him hotter"

...

......

.........

I'm too far gone at this point-

#helluva boss mammon #hazbin hotel adam #miguel spiderverse #miguel o'hara #miguel x reader #helluva boss x reader #helluva boss mammon x reader #gortash bg3 #bg3 gortash #ganondorf x reader #ganondorf #loz ganon #ganon x reader #I'm delulu

[truetogaia]

What is each recom’s favourite ✨position✨?

Featuring: Quaritch, Z dog, Mansk ♡, Lyle, Ja, 

Genre: Smut, 18+

Warning: NSFW, mature and explicit themes, literally sex positions 

Notes: Well i’ll be damned, recom fans are always so smutty LMAO, love u guys tho!! I didn’t include all characters bc I really can’t find the names to them all RAHHHH, I thought about adding Walker too but… she's kinda scary looking and i’ve only seen her in one scene </3

.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.

QUARITCH:

This old soul loves the more traditional positions where he has the opportunity to go rough if he wants to. His favorite position is doggy style, when he can grip at the plush of your hips and ass as much and as hard as he pleases. He loves the fact that he can regulate the speed and strength of his thrusts, cock getting even harder (if thats even possible) at the sight of your fucked out face pressing further into the matress with each merciless, rough snap of his hips against yours. But, when he feels more affectionate and wants to make love to you instead of fuck you senseless, he prefers positions like missionary or “G-whiz” (GOD I HATE THESE NAMES). They allow him to see your face in all its glory as he pounds his length into your tightness, this way, he can also plant kisses along your collarbones and neck <3

MANSK: 

I feel like Mansk is a very sensual and gentle guy. He seems rough on the exterior but really he’s just a BIG CUDDLY CATBOY (he most definitely is not, he is quite literally a marine killing machine but my delusions are stronger). In this context I think it��d make his favorite position the “Face off”, he likes being close to his partner/mate and loves being able to see their pretty face contorted in pleasure. It boosts his ego immensely knowing he’s the cause for the erotic, fucked out expression adorning your beautiful features. Bro also loves the idea of being in control of your orgasm and movements, but not in a super dominant way, he loves you so much and wants to give you all the pleasure he possibly can. (Extra points if you manage to reach behind his head and massage his braid hihi)

JA/Alexander: 

Mmm bro Ja is so yummy JEEZ. I haven’t seen very much of him AT ALL in the movies, but the few scenes where he's in the background have me HOOKED. His favorite position is probably some more freaky shit like reverse cowgirl or fucking you dumb against a wall. He is obsessed with your ass, always gripping it like a madman, especially during his rut. Loooooves hearing your soft mewls and moans as he literally obliterates your cunt with his massive cock HA, i love him.

LYLE: 

(I don't really see the appeal LMAO but that's just bc he's bald and I love men with long long hair) ANYWAY, be prepared for a week without the ability to walk properly. I’d say his favorite is the (WTF) pinball machine (I CAN’T WITH THESE NAMES.) He likes being able to pull you closer to him and gets so turned on by the way you grip at the sheets like a maniac with each frenzical thrust of his cock.

Z:

It’s so obvious that her fav position is cowgirl LMAO. She’s canonically a strap user in my mind so she loves seeing you ride her. My girl loves being able to run her eyes over every inch of your exposed body, literally imprinting the image into her head. She isn’t one to enjoy doing all the work, she’d rather sit back and watch you bounce and try your hardest to take her enormous strap. (Also loves keeping eye contact, she relishes in the way you squirm and blush)

HOPE THIS MADE YOU SOMEWHAT SATISFIED I LOVED YOUR REQUEST!! KISSES!!

#avatar recoms #colonel miles quaritch #colonel quaritch #miles quaritch #avatar quaritch #recom quaritch #quaritch smut #zdinarsk x reader #z dog smut #zdinarsk #z dog #recom zdog #ja recom #mansk #private mansk #mansk x reader #avatar mansk #recom mansk #mansk smut #avatar twow #avatar smut #avatar recom smut #recom lyle wainfleet #lyle wainfleet #lyle wainfleet smut #recom squad #atwow quaritch #quaritch x reader

[babylovepresley]

another delusion elvis headcannon:

my power went out because of the hurricane so imagine a power outage at graceland. you, elvis, and the entire memphis mafia sitting around a candlelit room joking and laughing. elvis holding you close because you’re semi - scared of the thunder and loud noises

stephanie i absolutely adore every ask you send but THIS is literally so adorable i stg im close to tears! protective!elvis is something so personal to me i swear <3

it’s the first thunderstorm of fall and it’s getting quite cozy in graceland as you finish making the hot chocolate for elvis and the boys, who are seated happily watching tv in the living room

it’s quiet save for the soft static thrum of the tv and the occasional comments made by joe, jerry or elvis himself while watching the tv

the lights in the kitchen begin to flicker as you lift the tray with the hot chocolate and begin to turn to bring it to the living room

the lights suddenly go out all together with a loud CRACK of thunder and a flash of lightening that makes you place down the tray in shock

“shit is the power out?” “yeah asshole i guess so” rings out from the living room, george and jerry arguing again

“honey? baby? ya alright in there?” elvis’ comforting voice rings out, as you hear the soft padding of boots swiftly making its way towards you

“yeah! i’m-i’m okay.. just a little nervous honey thats all!”

“well c’mere baby… follow my voice lemme help ya” as he stands by the window with the branch brushing against it due to the harsh wind

he looks like an angel in this light, though you can only see the strikingly strong profile of his face and the shiny silk of his shirt

once you make your way through the dark and to him, he’d rest his hands on your waist and squeeze

“heyy there sweet thing” he’d drawl & you can’t see him but you f e el him get closer to you, his hard chest pressing against yours (just imagine feeling the weight of him pressed tightly to you oh my god)

you begin to relax in his arms as he slides his palms across across your back, almost consuming you whole

“ohhhh my baby what’re we gonna do, hm?” he’d groan out all softly in your ear, holding you so tight and warm against his chest

“elvis?” “yes darlin’?” “im kinda scared” “oh sweetheart” :(

he’d walk you back into the living room, stumbling over the dining room table and making you laugh with a random “son offa bitch!!!” even though it didnt really hurt him

the memphis mafia had already anticipated elvis’ slightly risen temper over you being sad/afraid and his innate need to make you feel better no matter what so they’ve found some various candles and lit them… though don’t be surprised if joe just lit a piece of newspaper on fire and left it on the table

everyone is sitting by the candlelight, munching on snacks and settling in to nap on the recliner chairs

elvis sits on the couch as the storm rages on, and you sit on the plush floor in between his manspread widespread legs, staring at the flickering candle and trying to calm yourself from shaking

another loud clap of thunder rolls in, and you jump at the sound, a startled “oh!” coming out as jerry and elvis argue about a venue

“oh satnin.. c’mere lemme hold you” as you shake like a leaf but manage to stand on your slightly buckling knees long enough to sit on his lap

you lay your head on his shoulder and swing your legs sideways over his lap as he tightly grabs your thigh and puts his other hand at the underside of your hair, slightly scratching your scalp

you slowly start to fall asleep, comforted by his familiar scent; tobacco & rum and something soft & kind like vanilla.

“go ‘head baby close your pretty lil eyes.. ‘m here” and he kisses the side of your head, thumb rubbing your thigh as you succumb to sleep listening to the rain and his beautiful heartbeat

if you have any cute hcs or ideas don’t be afraid to send it in angels <3

#IM A MESS #this is a long one im soery #elvis in my eyes <3 #elvis #elvis presley #elvis 2022 #elvis presley x reader #elvis x reader #austin elvis x reader #elvis headcanons #elvis fanfiction #elvis fanfic #elvis film #elvis x y/n #elvis presley x y/n

[kiruliom]

you know what mental disorder people make hard to talk about even within communities built on it, besides paras?

munchausens.

and I get the reasoning, its scary. even if the whole disorder's thing being faking another disorder/illness/trauma wasnt doing it, fakeclaimers love to abuse the word until it loses its meaning.

so as someone who actually has it Id like to clear some stuff up

first of all, this doesnt mean Im faking any of my conditions, maybe not all of them are entirely accurate, but thats because I havent been able to find disorders that better describe it. Ive researched each of my conditions religiously, and talked most of them with my psychologist, who we already agreed I shouldnt get a medical diagnosis for because it could literally ruin my future where I live.

we're not "transabled", yes a portion of our community unfortunately does swing that way, but thats because thats the only community that wont immedietly flip its shit when you say "hey I dont actually have this disorder but I feel like I should have it" and thats so fucking sad. Im very anti-transabled and similar things. hell, even I was terrified of bringing it up until now.

its not a delusion, not for me, at least. I know I dont have the disorders I feel like I should have. so its not a mental equivelant of BIID. most of us feel that way because we're neglected, or feel we should have been affected worse, and some part of us grips to the false fact that maybe if we were hurt worse people would actually care, even if deep down we do know better.

it is incredibly rare. rarer than plurality even. so most fakeclaimers who immedietly resort to blaming munchausens for disabled people they claim are cringe, guess what!! that shits even rarer than whatever bullshit you claim cringy teens are faking.

if you believe someone is faking a disorder, let them!! ignore them!!! personally Id let 1000 people get away with faking shit than fakeclaim someone who actually has that disorder you claim theyre faking. and similar to delusions, it often makes us 'get into character' even harder, and just ruins our mood and makes actually disordered people around us insecure as well. there is no 'right' way to be disordered.

me, personally? Ive never gone as far as to fake a disorder, but god damn did I have the urge to and still do. I would be that whole 'he has every mental illness' meme if I didnt have as much self control as I did. but honestly would you even know if I did? I wouldnt tell you. because that means Id no longer get the attention I already wasnt getting because realistically no one cares and those that do are annoyingly pitying about it.

if any of you have questions about this, dont be afraid to ask, as long as you dont accuse me of shit Id love to talk about it. I just want more information on us out there :(

fakeclaimers fuck off or Ill rip your throat out

-Reggie and Velvet

#not flagpost #munchausen syndrome #facticious disorder #actually munchausens #facticious disorder imposed on self #FDIOS #munchausen #actually munchausen #LIOM #liom community #liom friendly #liom blog

[buwheal]

what are personally your favorite spamton headcanons?

OOooooh this was the wrong thing to ask me if you hate lots of letters on your screen. Get ready!!!!!! Here's my list :-) Its not organized by least to most btw im just typing everything i like lol :

puppetification theory.. AAUUUGHHH!!!!! this one is so much fun for so many reasons.

he's got a BJD (ball jointed doll) body

He's kinda an asshole

While a good chunk of his glitching is from puppetification, way more of it is from malware he's collected over like 20 years on the streets of cyber city

He absolutely feels and is aware of his glitches but he's so used to them it doesnt really bother him anymore. scratch that, it 100% does bother him that his body is actively defying him. but what can you do? :shrug:

he's like 5'1. I HATE HATE HATE seeing him the size of a toddler both because you can literally see his world sprite is the same height as kris, which is a teenager (His proportions just are unbelievably fucked up because of puppetification) and because thats just kinda weird. Something about making him so so small feels weird to me but im not sure, really. take it with a grain of salt.

He was an Email Addison. You see it everywhere. He was like a mailman or something.

He wasnt like four foot or something throuhghout his whole life, but i do imagine he was only slightly smaller than an Addison, which doesnt sound that bad except when you realize everyone else is normal height except him. Maybe it was a manufacutring bug, or maybe it was intentional for his job.

Addisons are like weird organic robots kinda. Cause everything in cyber city is made of code i imagine they are like basically sentient AI.

They (addisons) physically do not age unless their code is damaged. (Guess who's code is fucked up) They were "born" physically and half-mentally adults, and count their age based on their manufacturing date. I say mentally half because it quickly develops soon after while they do things like advertise. Their personality develops a time after.

HE IS OLD!!!!!!! HE'S AN OLD GUY!! HES GOT LITTLE WRINKLES N SHIT!!! HES GOT A GREY STRIPE!!!!!! Not really because of physical aging but its more of like a glitch tbh lol. Like a chunk glitch in minecraft. Whatever happened as his code got progressively more beat up caused a patch of his hair to register incorrectly and show up slightly wrong.

His hair is natrually white. He dyed it in his big shot era ofc, but it faded out. He keeps it colored currently with car oil and shit. Whatever he can find that will color it. It will and does wash out partially when he's drenched in the rain.

He completely refuses to acknowledge his physical changes. Glimpses he sees he ignores or passes it off as he's seeing things.

He prayed to the Neo robot because he saw the beginning of puppetification. He was praying for forgiveness or another chance. He believed it was a divine punishment because he had no other explination. He doesnt believe he changed much more than the very very early stages, and he thinks he's forgiven in his delusion. Which is why he wants the robot so bad.

When he gets mad he turns kinda red and steam comes out the side of his head in short bursts, train whistle sound effects and all. looney tunes type junk.

He has lips... but they're stretched so far because of his huge fucking brick ass teeth that it doesnt really matter at that point.

He's got a scraggly ass mullet.

he has little bitty dot eyes. Every other addison does too but they keep them closed for visual appeal. Theyre robots and shit they dont really need them to get around, even though they help a lot.

Thats about all i can think of rn!!!! ^_^ hope you enjoy that brick of text lol.

#[you've got mail!]

[openedmaw]

Lycans aren't real.

You don't have Ehlers-danlos syndrome.

You are delusional, ableist, and if I saw you in real life, I would beat you with my cane and mace you.

Stop mocking people with real disabilities just because you don't want to admit that you're literally PSYCHOTIC.

I hope you get shot like a coyote since you want to pretend that you're an animal. FUCK OFF AND LEAVE US WITH EDS ALONE YOU RACIST ABLEIST PIECE OF SHIT.

lycans aren't real

to you. i experience a delusion of being one, so they are to me. this blog is for me to express my non-humanity and talk about it and how it affects me. i know that they are not considered a part of the shared reality, which is why those posts are tagged with "unreality".

you dont have EDS

i do, actually. thats not a delusion or a conclusion ive come to by myself. i have been diagnosed with it by a medical professional based off of my physical symptoms and family history.

you are delusional, ableist, and if i saw you in real life i would beat you with my cane

cool does that mean we can have a cane fight? bc i also use a cane, as well as a walker depending on what my body can take that day.

stop mocking people with real disabilities just bc you dont want to admit youre literally psychotic

for one, psychotic disorders can constitute a disability. mental disorders arent any less of a "real disability" than physical ones. for two, i openly admit to and talk about being psychotic. im schizophrenic. i experience pretty much 24/7 psychosis. i have no idea where youre thinking that i dont admit to being delusional.

as for the last bit. like. i am one of you. my schizophrenia doesnt negate my physical disabilities. im a schizophrenic with hypermobile ehlers danlos syndrome. none of that is delusion. also idk where you pulled racist from besides your ass, it just kind of makes it sound like you wanted to throw buzzwords at the wall and hoped they'd stick.

[image id: anon ask reading "you are a dick to people with disabilities. follow your own DNI and go kill yourself before i do it for you". end id]

i know this was you too.

#askbox #hatemail #sui bait

[electraslight]

I care about ur Bevin headcannon I would love to hear

YES i finally get to yell abt these two, its my fav ship in the series idk why people arent more into it. Fanart is supplied as usual and i have some evidence-ey screenshots under the cut, mostly bc i want to share them w SOMEONE other than my friend blue. Enjoy my ramblings

-kevin is dating both ben and gwen, gwen and his relationship being a lot more outward and public and ben a more private relationship, they only ever kiss or hold hands when its just the two of them or (rarely) when gwen is around, partially bc of bens fame and his own hangups about liking men and partially bc when they are romantic they r extremely vulnerable with each other and thats the sort of thing they wouldnt want anyone else to see.

-(quoting from a discord dm w my friend) ben and kevin violence is something that if u saw it in a painting or a movie it would be rly profound and aweinspiring. in real life its also the same, but it feels so much like intruding when ur actually watchingbc kevin and ben have all their emotions about each other in v short bursts, theyll bottle them up 4 an extended period of time and then have som e massive cataclysmic event when it bubbles to the surface. there r literally no continual emotional moments between them like kevin and gwen who have contunious small emotions abt each other, kevin and ben will hang out 4 months at a time and then one day just start hitting each other, which is in a way a part of the romance

-in omniverse theres a scene where its shown that 12 year old kevin is in possession of a photo of ben that is suspiciously well worn, it has rips and stains and has been crumpled up and refolded a couple times. I like to think he kept that photo, whether to use as a beacon of hate or chew on and cry who knows. 

-ben and kevin dont give a shit about what form the other takes, the only time ben has ever blushed about a guy is when mutant kevin grabbed him in the rooters arc and kevin is around alien versions of ben every day and doesnt bat an eye. This is why i think that once kevin and ben get together kevin makes a game about kissing all of his aliens (indiscriminatley. Even if they dont have mouths) he makes a scoring system and writes reviews on how good the experience was in glitter gel pen and makes a ranking list of his favorites. Stinkfly sweeps the vote, shocking everybody. Ben would rank kissing kevins mutations but only 2 out of 5 would even consider it before turning him into pink mist so he just sticks with what he knows.

- ben and kevin get married when theyre older and gwen stays in girlfriend status (mostly bc she knows that ben has a much shorter lifespan than her and kevin and she wants to give him the happiest time she can while hes still there) and they all live in a mansion the size of the white house. Kai comes by once a month to keep kenny happy (he still thinks shes his bio mom even after theyve told him multiple times she was just a donor. Gwen says he gets his delusions from ben). Ben and kevin like to sit on the 500 foot long porch and throw rocks at passerby and snuggle. Kevin is so happy he giggles mindlessly to himself in public, scaring strangers. He tries to get them to look at pictures of his family but this only further creeps them out.

-kevin finds the most random shit ben does extremely charming. hed look at him picking his boogers and eating them and he thinks in his head i need this guy so much. ben finishes a rubix cube not even very fast and kevins like wow. cool. do you like emos.ben is charmed by kevin in the same way. he sees kevin use the toilet brush to scratch an itch on his back and hes like fuck oh fuck oh fuck

I have more i prommy i just cant think of them rn, i will make more if im able. 4 now please have my collection of bevin screenshots under the cut. Spread the word my disciples. fair warning there are a lot

#ben 10 #ben tennyson #ben 10 omniverse #ben 10 alien force #kevin levin #ben 10 ultimate alien #ben 10 classic #ben 10 uaf #ben ten #bevin #ben 10 headcannon

[tequiilasunriise]

Okay but why did the Wenclair break up scene- aka Enid finally standing up fer herself and calling Wednesday out on her constant prioritization of the investigation over everyone else and constant shitty behavior towards them, as she SHOULD mind you- have SO MUCH more weight and impact than every Love Interest Moment between Ajax, Xavier, and Tyler COMBINED? In this essay I will-

Wednesday literally showed no regret for constantly leading Tyler on and using his feelings for her own gain; Enid seems to just like Ajax ‘because he’s cute’ and then moving on ultra quick with Lucas because he was semi-nice to her for like two seconds and she thought that meant they should be together (yes, this is my Comphet Enid Delusions). When Xavier was literally in chains Wednesday still felt little remorse and had the gall to pretty much demand help from him DESPITE LITERALLY BEING THE REASON WHY HES WRONGFULLY IMPRISONED. Also, I love the difference of Wednesday trying to defend herself with, “I apologized. It’s over” as soon as she sees Enid’s distress and THEN getting defensive at Enid’s call out with a, “I never asked you to do that.” Compared to her silence and stone cold expression during Xavier’s, Enid’s call out actually gets a reaction out of her with immediate effects.

When Enid left Wednesday alone in her room she immediately felt SO fucken regretful as she curled up on the floor- ON THE SPLIT OF THE WINDOW MIND U OUGHHH THE SYMBOLISM- and started to lament. Her despondent stare at Enid’s bed as the realization that she’ll likely never see the werewolf on that bed again truly sinks in, her slow walk towards the window, the way she slinks down to the floor and tucks her head into her pulled-up legs with her arms hugging close to herself in a self-soothing manner. Jenna, you are so masterful in conveying characters through sheer body language. Wednesday literally narrates to us that being alone, “For the first time in my life, it doesn’t feel good.” Enid leaving mattered so fucken much to Wednesday, her absence truly made her sit down- literally- and feel actual regret towards her actions. Not nearly getting killed multiple times, not constantly on the verge of being on expulsion, but Enid essentially giving up on her is what does her in.

The imagery standing/sitting on the split of the window is so powerful. One part of her still reaching for the familiar shadowy darkness, and yes this part is still pretty strong as she ends the scene still super determined to find the killer. But the color in her is growing, a half of her that’s shifted and become attached to a much softer side. Enid leaving was 10000% necessary because both needed the space. Enid needed time to recollect and reinforce her boundaries- which she does later and does so spectacularly my babygirl- meanwhile Wednesday has to fully face the consequences of her actions and accept that she needs to do better. This sort of breakup scene- because cmon, the sheer tension and emotional haywire and immediate regret hits you like a TRUCK don’t tell me this wasn’t a breakup- was such a pivotal point of Wenclair’s relationship because without it neither would’ve had the foundation to finally move forward on equal footing. Enid probably would have run herself into the ground trying to people-please Wednesday because she’s so desperate to not be alone while Wednesday would have kept acting like a deflecting, detached goth girlie who keeps moving forward no matter the cost. Now that grievances have been aired, they have this chance to grow and be better, and my god, that’s exactly what they end up doing AND THATS WHY WENCLAIR IS SO FUCKEN GOOD TO AND FOR EACH OTHER‼️‼️‼️‼️

This analysis is getting quite long so here's a final note to reflect on. Not only did Wednesday give zero shits about Xavier in chains, look at how Xavier basically told Wednesday the same thing as Enid. He tells her she's toxic as shit and that she should just leave because her actions keep getting people hurt. In the aftermath, does Wednesday curl up and lament over him too? Do his words impart a change in Wednesday, a need to do and be better? Not even close, homies, not even close. The difference in how Enid's rejection of Wednesday affects her versus Xavier's is so fucken undeniably H U G E it's obvious who Wednesday truly cares about more in the long run and therefore pathetically hilarious how they keep shoving straight romances down our throats when Wenclair clearly holds SO much more chemistry and weight. If anything, the only good thing Xavier’s and Wednesday’s ‘romance’ gave us is a parallel, a foils of sorts, to Wenclair and what a Wednesday who gives no shits looks like to what a Wednesday who gives all the shits looks like.

#imma keep making long posts about Wenclair ALL DAAYYY BABBBYYY #wenclair warriors rise up #they drive me so insane #i love them SO MUCH #the parallels ur honor the PARALLELS #wenclair #wednesday addams #enid sinclair

[pretty-chaotic-world]

if my BPD can scream

1. I wish i could have a normal love... but no, my brain wants to worship every little detail of you until it drives me insane

2. sorry i pushed you away i felt abandoned and suicidal 

3. I’m sick of going to bed and knowing things won’t be better tomorrow 

4. I'll ask you thousands times if you really love, please don't get annoyed

5. I'll create "drama" and mishaps only to feel like I'm in home

6. i’m afraid that one day my anger will overshadow the little love i still have left for the world

7. I feel numb. No tears, no anger, nothing. Just going through the same day again and again. I would rather just sleep without waking up.

8. I'm so tired of everytime one small argument or inconvenience breaks out I want to end it and self destruct, it's so draining. 

9. I want to stop feeling anything and when i actually don't it breaks my heart but I can't cry it out.

10. "its all in your head" well duh where tf else is it gonna be??? in my fucking kidneys????

11. I am constantly between wanting people to care about me and wanting them not to so I can hurt myself without feeling guilty 

12. Psychiatrist told me there is no cure for bpd and I've to change myself. Well why cant they just let me die then?

13. Until you live with bpd you'll never know what it's like to be too much and not enough at the same time.

14. i know im constantly too much for everyone but sometimes i just want to be enough for someone

15. if he will leave me, my next diagnosis will be of "sociopath"

16. im so jealous of all the people who see him and touch him and talk to him every single day it should be me me me me 

17. oh I got my hair coloured. why? because I can't hurt myself anymore 

18. "you're so distant" because you can't handle my abandonment issues.

19. My younger self disappoint me a lot. like why were you begging people to stay in your life? ohh no worries I know the answer

20. I wanna throw a plate against the wall, stab a knife through my hand, destroy my laptop with a hammer, smash my door in with an axe and spray graffiti all over the walls of my room 

21. Why shouldn’t I be mad? Why can’t I just be angry and be allowed to feel it? Why can’t I burn everything down?

22. I have to watch my mouth every fucking second to make sure I don't destroy every relation I have coz apparently social life matters!!

23. Isnt it fucked up how he got away with every horrible thing he made me experience and I’m the one who has to live with myself feeling absolutely fucking worthless 

24. I don't deserve food and love. im a horrible person.

25. this is how my eating cycle goes

feeling weak coz i haven't ate anything -> eat -> purge -> feeling guilty after purging -> eat more -> feeling guilty after eating so much -> cry coz you don't know what's happening

26. the diagnosis makes me believe I'm not insane just lil emo ig!! NOOOO YOU'RE INSANE

27. “don’t let it bother u” baby i’m gonna be bothered by this for the next 10 years 

28. if I tell you I love you its equivalent to I can kill someone for you

29. Actually upon further inspection that shit really hurt my feelings 

30. I don't dive into insecurity anymore, i drown in self-loathe

31. i shut up in between group convo coz I know I'll talk invaluable shit and nobody really cares what I say until it's psychology class

32. "if you are fully aware of yourself, why do you keep acting like that?" slapping self awareness on top of bpd only grants the ability to watch yourself self-destruct straight from the vip section thats all it does literally

33. “Where do you see yourself in the future” building a cult for mentally ill people 

34. ofc I've a praise kind i was ignored as a child

35. I'm much better than I was before. you know why coz I don't to air now and don't see monsters walking by side all the time

36. No I don't want to self harm anymore I need to kill that fucking monster

37. Don't mind me, I'm just casually sabotaging all my positive relationships with negative delusions because my life doesn't feel real unless something dramatic and destructive is constantly occurring 

38. i don’t care i don’t care i don’t care (im going to sob my fucking eyes out)

39. “Stop making your disorder your personality” I have a fucking personality disorder for god sake

40. turning my mental illnesses into kinks and calling it the BDSM-5 

41. "destroy something precious while you're in rage" ohh yeaa and then I'll do that again and again 

42. what I hate most about my BPD is the fact that I have started doubting every emotion that I’ve ever felt in my life, whether it’s love, my grief through multiple traumas, or my anger, & it’s so saddening. It has actually led me to start questioning my reality.

43. if I need medication to stay alive, am I really meant to be here?

44. it's either be alone without 75% of my symptoms, or be with someone and display the most horrendous unstable awful version of myself. why do i have to choose between love & happiness or peace & stability?

45. That fucking bpd rage where everyone's voices makes you want to scream and every noise around you makes you want to sh and you're so mad you can almost feel the cuts everywhere 

46. getting worked up to the point of becoming physically ill (throwing up/stomach issues etc) because you felt rejected/abandoned by your favourite person  

47. i wish my trauma made me kind as everyone says but i’m becoming what i fear the most- a monster.

48. imagine getting diagnosed with a personality disorder and the only visible representation of that disorder is an animated horse man, a sociopathic sitcom character from philadelphia, and darth vader

#bpd #bpd awareness #personality disorder #borderline personality disorder #mental illness #mental health #mental instability

[youremyheaven]

As a nodal, I want to agree and disagree about "draining" yang people. They do come to us first usually, they see that we don't show interest even when we like them (at least ketu ruled moons) and they simply stop giving a fuck. I think its possible that in some cases we drain them, but I also feel like they are expecting us to show a lot of interest and as someone else said, nodals are used to be gatekeepers (moon people too) of stuff, including feelings. We dont have light to give anyway. I find that we can drain solars as much as they can overwhelm nodals. I always hear nodals complaining about solar people overwhelming them with their energy. So at one point i feel like it's mutual, they may feel like nodals drain them but we feel like they are too much? Idk if that makes sense to other nodals reading this. I know a few solars who I really love and all but I try to stay away because I know if I get into a convo with them they will either start asking a bunch of questions or they will start talking about themselves to the point I will be exhausted. Especially uttara ashadhas, I find all of them to be too intense for me, although i had and still have great friendships with them. when Krittikas are angry for example, I just stand there and dont have any idea of what to do. I find it so hard to give a fuck about things so I dont understand why they're angry and they end up making me tired when they keep talking about the same frustrations over and over.

i feel like they both get tired of eachother, or at least, it could be any of the parts feeling drained, not just yang.

For rahu, I feel like rahuvians are really hard to control, they are chaotic af. they crave yang energy but I dont think they can stand yangs giving them the structure they crave. at the end they will try to destroy it over and over, until the yang person is drained and just gives up.

I want to agree about us being delusional, but I also want to say that Sun and Jupiter people feed our delusions as well. It's not about blaming them for our things. I really dont want to sound like that nodal who isnt self aware. 😭 I enjoy reading shit about us because its funny and it helps. but if we are being real 😭 Sun and Jupiter people validate nodal's delusions. I think I already talked too much so to make it as brief as possible I will give you a personal example. My friend is a punarvasu sun and moon, my other friend UA rising. Sometimes I tell them my delusional stories and they just find a way to literally amplify it or make it worse...... Like if I say "my crush broke up with his gf, i have a chance" they will tell me sometbing like "oh, it's because she is in love with you, she broke up because now she wants you" i told them just yesterday "i know im delusional but dont you guys think thats a lot and also kinda dangerous to tell me" damn

SJSJJSJJSJS lmao

Nodals or Ketuvians being overwhelmed by yang energy is interesting, I've definitely felt like I was "too much" for some of these people

The not being able to care part took me out lol 😭😂my ex friend who had Mula Moon was like that, I'd have a breakdown in front of her and she'd just be like 🧍‍♀️like girlie had no idea what to say or how to react and literally did not give a fck 😂😂

I think these energies are mismatched and it's interesting to hear about it from the perspective of a Nodal

That's one example of them feeding your delusions but I meant being delusional/lacking self awareness in a different way? like many of the Nodals ik have no idea how they are perceived (maybe this is a consequence of them being a shadow planet and literally being in the dark) they will do batshit crazy stuff and blame others for it, act completely unhinged and think they're just being funny or charming or adventurous. It's like my alcoholic broke deadbeat loser senior who acted like he was a catch and that I wanted him. I meant being delusional in a completely different way and cited examples as well of more extreme behaviour? And you really cannot blame anybody else for that lol, those people weren't acting that way bc anybody fed their delusions, they simply were a little bit unhinged