#thats what im trying to say with this lmfao

[minbinchan]

Twitter sure is a mess huh

#i just made my peace with all of this tbh #was i angry when i woke up? absolutely #but after seeing both sides of the discourse i came to the conclusion that even if he did come back it wasn't going to be the same #1. bc no one knows how to fucking behave and 2. they (jyp) dont even try to moderate the interactions the fans have with the content #and since no one respects him they would have taken ANYTHING he says out of context and make drama just for giggles #so while im sad there's no more chan's room at least i know he won't be subjected to a bunch of ugly people trying to tear him down #anyway #this will be the last I'll talk about this and I'll be back to doing nothing bc thats what ive been doing #I have class today so yeah I'll be back later i guess #i need to do my queue i haven't done that in a while im sorry #this is a lot of text lmfao im sorry

[comet-wire]

Ngl I've been having a gender crisis again on top of all the stuff that's happened with my dad, I think I still identify as male/masculine idk 🗿

Same with my ace/aro spectrum placement ☝️🗿

#comet rambles #putting in queue to deploy later #parent loss tw #just in case by association n implications ☝️🗿/nm+gen #when i get stuff set up with my checking account i was already thinking of getting a new chest binder once our personal issues with finance #has been figured out definitely #i dont wanna say much n jinx stuff so ill leave it at that #personal #gender shit is hard n i really think i may be a he/they or he/him still #or if not then closeted butch lesbian idk #most signs point to male gender identity leaning though 😔👍 #also my social battery is outta wack but i needed to get this out so i apologize to anyone who i have yet to respond to/gen+nm 🥹 #like i genuinely still feel as though ive been born in the wrong body and i tried to accept my feminity and it went well!! #like i started embracing my femininity the past few years and now i think im over it because it feels like i just attempted to try #and be something i wasn't if that makes any sense #i hate being referred to as she/her or as a girl even if i understand some people will still see me as fem despite my personal identity etc #its not that i hate my femininity its just i feel anything but female while still enjoying traditionally fem stuff at times #hope this makes sense #🗿👍 #still ace/aro though just cant figure out if i only enjoy the thought of romance (cupiosexual/romantic) or if i feel comfy in one #i know im sex repulsed though thats for certain #as of lately chris Redfield and Albert Wesker have become two of my transition goals and idk what to do about this lmfao #i wish i was kidding #but im not 😭 #sitting here like EVA shinji with his head in his hands in the damn chair image/lh #also wanna be a rootin tootin goth cowboy 🥰 #if it turns out im like a comphet butch/nb lesbian im gonna shit myself though/lh+nm

[ur-promethean]

if your read on the weapon is that she’s the chief’s new girlfriend then im taking you back to high school level english class so you can revisit your critical thinking skills

#txt #this isn’t exclusive to fans but also like. @343i. #1) people only say that bc shes a copy of cortana not bc theres any chemistry literally at all #2) look at the ‘cortana is replaced w a non mentally ill and younger/naive version of herself’ and tell me thats not gross #3) pairing said young naive copy with her predecessor’s forty whatever year old former best friend…????? #literally how does any of it make sense to people. its not even funny as a joke… #every day i hope this is not the direction 343i is going in for the weapon and every day it seems that that is. actually what theyll do #it just feels so gross on so many levels LOL #im just trying to brace for impact at this point #like yeah to bad we completely fucked over this established fan favorite for a moment of shock value. now how do we dredge the emotional #impact of this franchise which is founded in that characters relationship w the protagonist #oh yeah lets copy her and make her younger and less complicated. that’ll work. LMFAO #AUGHGJJFJSMAM

[pezarcoiris]

Anyways I think it would be useful to talk about how some trans men out there are incredibly misogynistic for literally no reason. Like damn bro good job i guess.

#am not one to usually say these kinds of things though #btw obviously im not saying all of them are like that lmfao just some of them. #a lot of them actually. but still not all #in general as much as i find 'i hate men' jokes funny i dont actually genuinely believe in gender essentialist things like that obviously.. #so anyways what im trying to say if youre a trans man or a man in any way im chill with you as long as youre chill. with women. #thats it

[abyssalpriest]

can i be borderline controversial and say that i do think there's a correlation between the love and adoration for the other kings, Leviathan's brutal honesty about grey-morality and involvement in war when you know him as Leviathan, and his lack of worshipers here under that name. the controversial part being that the other kings seem way more into propaganda flourishing and part of why i say that is because ive known both of them and they fucking do that oops hashtag UPG (PVG) spilled outta my pockets there

ie its always people who work for the other kings i see so caught up in how loving and pure the kings and ''demons'' are, and you COULD say that's just because Lev doesn't have many worshipers under that name but I think its more so because when you know "Leviathan" uhhhhh. like you could say lack of lev worshipers = lack of lev propaganda but i think its more so lev isnt going to pretend to be a beautiful siren man in a suit who tells you he loves you so so much even tho he just met you two seconds ago

#there's many factors IMO why we dont see many Leviathan worshipers so much as Shaivites and (insert other names here) #one of which is this but another big factor is. he. doesnt like Chrxstianity in the way that his brothers do lmfao he has other #ways of worshiping him and other labels that arent ''demon'' or occult and reverse-cxtholic aesthetics including latin and #priesthood and whatnot. i love that shit bc travelling to another country to grow up from age 10 and being exposed to the beauty #of cxtholic architecture and worship and aesthetics was cool af it was really like. i love this expression of devotion i love all human #devotion and i love gold and i love SUFFERING lmfao so. im always like oooo aesthetics and hes like. ah. hmm. no thanks #which is NOT to say thats all demonolatry is and IS to say he much prefers in my experience other ways of worshiping him #milk honey and ghee for one fucking example lmfao. flowers thrown into the ocean. blessing horses. traversing the wilderness. storm #chasing. I GUESS THERES A REASON HIS BIG NAMES are Shiva(/Rudra)/Poseidon/Tengri/etc and not Leviathan #as he was saying to me he's... he's not a god found in churches hes overhead at all times at least partially. hes in our dna. hes in the #trees surrounding our towns hes the deer and the wolves and the wild playfulness vs efficient machinery of horses. the rivers and the ocean #the clouds. mathematics. actual machines. i think trying to tie him into like... latin and chrxstian inspired rites and the word ''demon''. #ive said it before. If you catch him in a certain mood he does actually enjoy roleplaying the ''demon'' persona and the antithesis and #undoing of chrxstianity but. hes. not what he is not. listen he LOVES spooking people and if youre spooked by demons... he loves being #intimidating if you want a big tough king that also understands your deep and dark sides and who is intelligent and gentle but Dark #yeah im sure he'll be Leviathan for you but its like. idk. OH THIS IS. THIS IS THE SECOND REASON. THE POST IS ABOUT THE FIRST #THAT I LISTED LMFAOOOOOO #sorry im so in love w him atm let me talk about him please #ramblings //

[matoitech]

i have very little interest in interacting w media exclusively populated by very intentionally cis gay characters and that seems to be what gay dude furry vns tend to like doing. im sure theyre fun for cis guys bcuz u probably wont even consider it as kind of weird or shitty when its more ppl like u, but i am neither cis nor particularly interested in media that just doesnt have any women in it. not even entirely bcuz of the bisexuality and wanting to date the fake women cuz as established i dont have an interest in pretending to date fictional people its just kindof an immediate turn off (non sexual) for me for something to not have any female characters regardless of the like format or genre of the thing lol, and i think its more common w this stuff bcuz it generally exists For that like fantasy romance. maybe if the vns had more even splits with gender or if they werent all cis dudes + all cis dudes 1 trans guy etc id be more interested but i feel like i look at a lineup of all cis men and even being a bi man i just think nah no thanks

#like im not throwing this as a criticism bcuz i rly dont Know enough abt these formats to criticize them #ive only seen what ive personally stumbled across ykwim. but i can say for me personally theres not a lot of interest #if i made my own Thing id prob do a mix of genders and everyones bi and theyre also all trans. for My interest <3 #it wouldnt be a dating thing tho or if it was i would try and do the 'taking a thing that doesnt interest you #and trying to make it interesting to you personally' #anyway its not like i 'cant' relate to cis guys or whatever obviously lmfao thats not the issue #trans ppl relating to cis ppl that share our genders isnt the issue. the other way around is apparently whats sooo hard for cis ppl #i just dont feel like giving a shit. is the thing. i could just make my own thing

[loveydive]

johnny would not have been a religious christian. LIKE he would believe in god but he would find no comfort in him at all imo

i rmr a panel saying that johnny believed that his fate was going to catch up to him. this isnt what a person who believes in a benevolent god would believe. the god who he envisions is cruel and allows evil to exist. he is angry at his god. and he believes that the sins that he has committed will catch up with him. his god will seek repentance from him through punishment. his god would not allow him to be happy to the end.

i think johnny would think of god more of as a bystander guilty of all atrocities and tragedies or like as a voyeur of human suffering. bc in his mind why else would his life be so riddled with tragedies (brother dying, him being shot, rinas illness, etc etc). it would also explain his self hatred bc he constantly believes that hes not good enough to turn himself around and fight against fate.

idk where i was going with this but yeah those are just my thoughts after reading a fic that characterized johnny has having absolute faith in his god who he thought would save him which i, the johnny joestar expert, thought was wrong but anw

#cin.txt #not me thinking about erm theology bc of sbr #LMFAOOOO #im not even religious myself but i find it extremely interesting #its the anthropogist in me i suppose #ANW #i like exploring what the sbr charcetrs relationship with their god would be like #(for a fic that im currently writing rn which may or may never get published teehee <3) #but anw #if johnny met god he would fucking yell and shout at him and maybe try to beat him up even tho hes god LMFAO #omfgggg the fic i read tho #johnny is quotes syaing god loves me and thats what keeps me going #JOHNNY WOULD NOT SAY THAT

[orcelito]

that one bookmark is gone and on one hand im glad i dont have to see it anymore but on the other hand im a little embarrassed at the thought of them having seen me have a whole mini spiral about it at like 5 am. like sorry random person ig

#speculation nation #i shouldnt be allowed to make posts in the middle of sleeping times #i wake up all the time while trying to sleep & then i check social media & also my ao3 stats page #usually this is fine but that bookmark note hit Just the right insecurity in me for me to make some pathetic posts about it on my tumblr #like yes i Am insecure about ppl not liking what im doing in the story lately & thinking im taking too long :') thank U for confirming #the reader support afterwards definitely helped me but Man i dont wanna b known as that author that cant take even a hint of criticism #i mean i kind of am but i dont wanna be KNOWN for it ykno #im cool as a cucumber. u can tell. Absolutely the coolest. thats why i go crying to my tumblr dot com when someone says smth that isnt #complete praise for my work. #like on one hand i dont gotta share this online. it's a privilege that u guys get to read it. so i dont wanna hear ppl disliking it #on the other hand i wish i wasnt that pathetically insecure lmfao #in my defense not having an active beta reader has been fucking with my self confidence re: writing #i was a nervous WRECK when posting the last chapter. and the other chapters too but last chapter especially. #life. is so difficult. alas. #sorry to my readers for my lack of object permanence re: ppl liking my shit. #ive had ppl repeatedly saying they love it and it's still not enough #in largest part bc im insecure about that Changing. so with every chapter im like peeking over like 'do you still like my writing...?' #'do u still like my writing pls respond' #honestly bless u readers who have kept up with discacc & continuously comment & offer me reassuring words here when im down #ur enthusiasm & kind words help me a lot. thank U

[divinecreation]

Ok I'm just now realizing that the moon changed signs when Mello was born so depending on where and what time it was he could either have a Gemini moon or a Cancer moon hmmm much to think about

#i have been actively headcanoning him as being a scorpio rising with his cancer moon in the 8th house because that just makes sense!! #being naturally emotional and expressive but being in an environment where its discouraged growing up #and so you grow to learn that no one wants to see your emotions and youre better off repressing them and then u just become an adult #with emotional dysregulation who refuses to cry or be vulnerable around others and puts up a tough guy persona? #thats so moon in the 8th house! and thats so mello!! #and also his mars would be in the first house and just yeah!! #but for him to have both a scorpio rising and a cancer moon he would have had to be born in the US... #because to have that ascendant hed have to be born very early in the morning and at that point in europe the moon just. was still in gemini #but if he was born 3-4 am in like California then the moon was in cancer at that point #... i cant say i hc him as being born in the US or having a gemini moon 😶 i can always choose a dif rising sign... #or maybe im like literally entirely fucking WRONG lmfao #you know what no one cares except for me. its not real. mello can be born in europe and still have a cancer moon & scorpio rising #death note #mello #mihael keehl #astrology #desperately tryna hc all the dn characters rising signs and struggling bc im trying so hard to take the house placements into consideration #and also because im literally not an astrologer. #whatever. whatever. its not that serious #if theres anyone out there who has opinions on mellos possible rising sign or moon sign i would love to talk #this is the part where i say my disclaimer about how i dont like modern astrology i mostly just study traditional so your understandings #of astrology and certain signs and placements and planets might completely differ from mine but again like. its not that serious lmao #but i could def see him with other rising signs like idk a leo rising would put his cancer moon in the 12H which is just as unfortunate #idk whatever who cares lol #my post

[oflgtfol]

i feel like im gonna wind up sayin yes to being a manager but atm im still like. So hesitant. but i know myself and i probably will eventually wind up saying yes

#because i love saying yes to everything and taking on more responsibility and giving myself even less time to be a person outside of #school and work obligations #someone offers me a role or a promotion and i just say yes no matter what #on my hands and knees. i am. so busy. all the time #brot posts #well actually lets see how much more im gonna get paid #if its only $16/hr im gonna pass LMFAO #i think it will probably be $17 but idk. #i mean i havent been formally approached yet its just my two closing managers who are trying to scope me out #but the more i think about it there really isnt anyone else they can promote to manager without just. hiring someone directly into the role #bc im one of the employees whos been here the longest at this point 😭 #and the second one below me is still in high school so shes out of the question #one above me already got promtoed to framing manager #since our framing manager was one of the ones who left recently #and the second one above me is like. a grandma and im pretty sure shes just here for some extra income #like shes solely a morning cashier and thats it #so its really just… Me … unless they hire someone directly into it. #i mean we have other employees other than the 4 including me i just listed but they are literally all just seasonal hires #hopefully we can retain a few but yknow for now theyre literally just seasonal

[toastsnaffler]

man. getting a little sick of being everyones 15th option for everything. when is it my turn to be someone's first choice :^[

#or even second tbh I'll take it #i had a couple old friends from college msg me recently to tell me what theyve been up to #which is sweet and i care abt them n wanna hear it! but they dont ask after me or show any interest in how I'm doing #and it makes me feel like I'm just their journal or smth. a brick wall they happen to be standing near #don't get me wrong I love to be useful. but when ppl only ever interact w u bc they need smth from u. well. #rly not doing anything good for this complex im developing where my self worth is directly tied to my usefulness to other ppl lmfao #i dont want to be ppls fucking dog!! or not any more than i already am but whatever thats all im good for i guess!! #and i desperately want someone to be my fave person rn bc all my energy is going nowhere + im at my best when im at my most devoted #so ppl treating me like this rn is just making me incredibly vulnerable to being taken advantage of. #like yeah i am eager to please and ill follow anyone around and do whatever for a crumb of attention but maybe #if you're actually my friend u shouldnt be encouraging that behaviour. even if it makes u feel good like cmon thats not so cool man #or if you ARE going to encourage it then maybe u should acknowledge the power dynamic ur creating + try not to abuse it. idk 🤷‍♂️ #urgh idk maybe im just saying words rn im very tired #I just feel like all the friendships etc I have atm are slipping into that dangerously unbalanced zone + becoming v one way #and I don't know what I'm doing wrong I'm trying the best I can and I guess its just not enough for anyone and that really really sucks #I'm doing better mentally rn but I dont currently have a support system + there are a lot of destabilising forces in my life #so im just. worried abt the direction things could take if I lose this foothold I've dragged myself onto yknow. #and I wouldnt have to be so worried abt that all of the time if I just had someone literally anyone I could rely on or even trust #but oh well. it is what it is. doing all I can to take care of myself so hopefully it won't come to that anyway. #sorry for rambling on so much if u read this far I'm giving u a kiss on the cheek don't worry abt me honey I've got this #anywayy goodnight #.vent #.diaries

[piplupod]

sometimes i forget that phrases I've taken to saying aren't from any media and are just things real people in my life have said to me or within earshot of me, and if i try to reference those phrases its not going to make sense to anybody except me

#the one I've been thinking abt a lot lately is this old guy from my accordion classes a few yrs ago #we were talking about tiny tim and he said ''he was a little bit fairy wasnt he'' #this old man is like... OLD. so thats the derogatory term at the time to refer to gay ppl #but every now and then i get dressed in a fun outfit or see a certain blorbo (from media or an OC of mine) and think that to myself 😭😭 #and i keep Almost saying it with a couple specific friends who i know won't be offended or anything by my using the word #and then remembering literally no one will know im referencing smth and theyll think im just slinging around 1950s homophobic slang LMFAO #YKNOW WHATS FUNNY THOUGH. AWFUL TOO. I've been called that myself a couple times ??? like. who tf is still using that slang these days ??? #apparently some homophobes!! #insane fhdksl like. hi. can i help you. are u trying to be clever w ur homophobia. I'd love if u could stfu tbh #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

[lyekisses]

alright clocking in for another shift of complaining about the same things every day!

#i have not been feeling good since last night my throat hurty :( #and it is SOOOOOOO fucking cold at my work like an ice cube #which is ironic bc for most of the summer it was like 800 degrees in here bc the mall wouldn't fix the ac #now that they fixed it it has not been turned off so i am shivering every day #and it is not helping my oncoming illness i can tell u that #also just not where i need to be w my finals im gonna try to take my one exam tonight #and then write one essay per day until friday lollllll #we'll see how that turns out! catch me crying on friday at 11:50 pm probably #my one professor DID say he would accept work until sunday so we'll see if i make that call to just be a day late💀 #ok anyways my friends are also annoying me but im prob being dramatique due to pms and feeling yucky #and like what else is new #i just dont understand why i feel like im pulling teeth to get a response sometimes but i can see u texting the other girls in the gc #and posting pics on insta :( #like i am crazy but #alright thats enough literally typing this on my laptop i brought to work w me LMFAO its slow today #if my manager wants to say shit (he wont) ill just remind him that he got back together w his toxica baby mama 🫢