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james-joyces-right-eyeball · 3 years

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Absolute Favorite Books I’d Recommend to Anyone

This is a list of my top-tier favorite books that I would recommend/talk about endlessly to pretty much anyone (in no particular order). I know people probably don’t care but I just like talking about books I love so here we are.

Beloved - Toni Morrison

~ Based off the real story of Margaret Garner, a slave woman who escaped slavery and when captured killed her child in order to prevent them from ever being enslaved again, Beloved tells the story of a mother named Sethe, born in slavery who eventually escaped and is haunted by the figurative demons of her trauma and the literal (arguably) ghost of her dead daughter, who she herself killed. It is an excellent exploration of the horrors of slavery and of the haunting legacy of the institution for those who were subjected to it.

Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

~ If you’ve been on Tumblr for a while, you probably know what Lolita is. The story of the predatory Humbert Humbert who lusts after, rapes, and kidnaps the “nymphet” Dolores Haze. An excellent construction of how predators, unreliable narrators in their own right, hide behind fabrications, almost-believable excuses, and pretty words to make their actions seem maybe not so bad. In the words of the book itself, “You can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style.”

Ulysses - James Joyce

~ Notoriously one of the most difficult books in the English language, Ulysses lifts its structure from Homer’s Odyssey to tell the story of a common man, Leopold Bloom, as he goes about his day. Yes, this book takes place over the course of only one day. We follow Bloom as well as Joyce’s literary counterpart Stephen Daedalus through their thoughts and actions, gathering details of their lives previous throughout. It’s a book that, in my own words, “is life”. It is sad, funny, strange, vulgar, disgusting, beautiful, revelatory, sensual, and nonsensical all at once. Joyce aimed to create a reflection of life through his stream-of-consciousness style which some people might find confusing, but I personally find absolutely beautiful and honest and realistic. The prose is also gorgeous, but that could be applied to everything Joyce wrote.

Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte

~ The classic gothic book that tells the tale of Heathcliff and his ultimately destructive love of Catherine Earnshaw, whose eventual marriage to someone else and the general mistreatment of him by her family drives Heathcliff insane and he spends the rest of his life trying to take revenge by abusing and torturing the next Earnshaw and Linton (the family into which Catherine marries) generations. If I’m being honest, I like this book mostly because of how wild and dark it is, but the writing is also genius and beautiful. I think the book also carries an interesting view of the destructive nature of revenge, overzealous love, and othering.

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn - Betty Smith

~ A coming-of-age story at the turn of the century that tells the story of Francie Nolan, a young bookish girl growing up in a lower class family in New York City. It tells about her father’s struggles with alcoholism as well as her mother’s struggles to deal with that and at the same time raise Francie and her brother. Francie is confronted with a strange, uncertain world as a young girl, but tries to face it with bravery throughout childhood

Little Women - Louisa May Alcott

~ Another coming-of-age story, this time about four young sisters: Meg, Jo, Beth and Amy March. You are probably familiar with this book already; it’s had more movie adaptations then I can possibly remember off the top of my head. It’s the story of four sisters as they try to navigate growing up, love, and loss during the mid to late 1800s.

The Color Purple - Alice Walker

~ A novel that tells the story of Celie, a young black woman who is raped and then married young to a man who will go on to use and abuse her, through her letters to God. Throughout the novel she meets Shug Avery, a woman with whom she eventually falls in love and begins a relationship with. Through this and her eventual freedom from her abusive husband, she is able to gain at last her own sense of self and take back control over her life, a life no longer ruled by the abusive men around her.

The Bluest Eye - Toni Morrison

~ The tragic story of young black girl Pecola Breedlove, who wants nothing more than to have blonde hair and blue eyes just like the women she sees in the movies. Both a deconstruction of the whiteness of beauty standards as well as how these standards can utterly destroy vulnerable young girls, it is also an exploration of the people who allow these sorts of things to happen, including Pecola’s mother and father. The Bluest Eye, I think, showcases one of the aspects of Toni Morrison that I like the most, that I aspire to the most: her ability to enter the minds of all people, even people who you might despise at first. Her characters, especially Cholly in The Bluest Eye, are ones you might not entirely sympathize with, but they will always be ones you understand.

The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath

~ Based off of the author’s own experiences as a young college student, The Bell Jar tells the story of Esther Greenwood, whose depression over her place as a woman in a patriarchal society as well as her inability to choose a life path for herself leads to a suicide attempt and a subsequent stay in a mental hospital. A very nuanced portrayal of mental illness, especially anxiety and depression, The Bell Jar is an extremely moving and relatable story for me and clearly is as well for others. It is a classic for a reason.

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings - Maya Angelou

~ A memoir of Angelou’s childhood, this book tells the story of her experiences living as a black girl in the south with her grandmother and brother as well as her later years living with her mother. It also tells of how she was raped by her mother’s boyfriend when she was around eight or nine, and how she struggled to live with that and find her voice, both literally and figuratively. A wonderful book about overcoming struggles and the power of words and literature in such times.

Invisible Man - Ralph Ellison

~ Ellison’s novel tells the story of a young black man, never getting a name in the text, and his feelings of invisibility and his struggles to find a place in society to belong. His struggles only lead him further into despair, until he decides to “become invisible” as people seem not to see him as a person anyway. Invisible Man is an exploration of American mid-century racism and the isolation it causes to those subjected to it. Not only that, but it is surprisingly relevant to our times now, especially on the subject of police violence. (Personal anecdote: When I first read this book, when I got to the aforementioned police violence part it was right in the middle of the BLM resurgence last summer and I cried for a good twenty minutes while reading that chapter over how nothing had changed and it still hurts me to think about it. Embarrassingly, my dad walked in on me while I was crying, and I had to quickly explain it away.)

A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man - James Joyce

~ The title basically says it all lol. This book tells of the coming-of-age of Stephen Daedalus (the same one from the later-written Ulysses). His sensitive childhood, his awkward and lustful adolescence, his feelings of Irish nationality and Catholic guilt, and his struggles to fully realize himself, both as an artist and a human being. It is a very hopeful story, and one that I love mostly because I relate so much to Stephen Daedalus as an artist and as a person.

One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

~ A magical-realist intergenerational family drama, Marquez’s book traces the various lives and loves of the Buendia family over the course of (you guessed it!) one hundred years. A beautifully written, at times extremely emotionally moving and chilling masterpiece, Marquez in a way retells the history of Colombia, of its colonization and exploitation.

Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy

~ A classic Russian novel of society and love, Tolstoy tells the story of Anna Karenina, married, wealthy woman with a child she adores. However, she falls in love with another man, Count Vronsky, and comes to a tragic end for her love. The parallel story of the novel is that of Konstantin Levin, a wealthy landowner who also struggles to find fulfillment in his life and understand his place in society.

The Sound and the Fury - William Faulkner

~ A novel that features an entire family of unreliable narrators, The Sound and the Fury details the fall of a once-prominent southern Compson family and always-present place of the past. There are four different narratives: Benjy Compson, a mentally disabled man who is unsure of his surroundings and of time and only knows that he misses his older sister Caddy; Quintin Compson, the eldest son and a Harvard man both obsessed with his sister retaining her “purity” and the fact that she failed to do so and had a baby out of wedlock, going as far to claim it is his baby in an attempt to preserve something of the family reputation; Jason Compson, who is the caretaker of Caddy’s daughter and believes her to be going down her mother’s “sinful” path; and Dilsey, the black maid of the Compson’s who unlike the people she cares for is not weighed down by their history. The narratives take place in different time periods and is in a stream-of-consciousness style. It’s a deeply dark and disturbing novel about the haunting nature of the past, a common theme in Faulkner’s work (see Absalom, Absalom! for more of this).

Song of Solomon - Toni Morrison

~ It is the story of Milkman Dead, a young black man growing up in the south and his relationship with his very complicated family. To say anymore would be to spoil the novel, but I will say that it is an excellent book about family, self-fulfillment in a world that tries to deny you that, and, like The Bluest Eye, exhibits Morrison’s excellent character work.

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof - Tennessee Williams

~ A play which takes place on the patriarch of a family’s birthday in the oppressive heat of the midsummer south, Williams’ play explores lies, secrets, and how repression only results in anger, frustration, and sadness. It’s a tragic but brilliant play that I think was very ahead of its time. If you’ve read it (or do read it) then you know what I mean.

Giovanni’s Room - James Baldwin

~ This book tells the story of a young man and his love of another man named Giovanni while he is in Paris. It is a book about love, queer guilt, and has what I would call an ambiguous ending. There is uncertainty at the end, but there does seem to be some kind of acceptance. It is a bit of a coming-out story, but more than that it is a story of personal acceptance and at the same time a sad, tragic love story.

HERmione - H.D.

~ An underrated modernist masterpiece, HERmione is a somewhat fictionalized account of the author, Hilda Doolittle’s, experience as a young aspiring poet dating another poet (in real life Ezra Pound in this book named George Lowndes) who is a threat to her both physically and emotionally. It explores her own mental state, as she considers herself a failure and falls in love with a woman for the first time (Fayne Rabb in the book, Frances Gregg in real life).

To the Lighthouse - Virginia Woolf

~ People think about going to a lighthouse. They do not. A couple years and a war passes then they do. That may seem like a boring plot, and you may be right. However, To the Lighthouse is not much about plot. It is more about the inner lives of its characters, a family and their friends, on two different occasions of their lives: one before WWI and one after WWI. Woolf explores in this novel the trauma that results from such a massive loss of life and security. Not only that, she also explores the nature of art (especially in female artists) in the character of Lily Briscoe and her struggles to complete a painting. It’s a short novel, but it contains so much about life, love, and loss within these few pages.

The Heart is a Lonely Hunter - Carson McCullers

~ A southern gothic novel about isolation and loneliness in a small town. Every character has something to separate them from wider society, and often find solace and companionship in a deaf man, John Singer, who himself experiences a loneliness that they cannot understand. There are various forms of social isolation explored in this novel: by race, disability, age, gender, etc. A wonderful, heart-wrenching book about loneliness and the depths it can potentially drag people to.

The Waste Land - T.S. Eliot

~ A modernist masterpiece of a poem, Eliot describes feeling emptiness and isolation. The brilliance of it can only be shown by an excerpt:

“Your arms full, and your hair wet, I could not Speak, and my eyes failed, I was neither Living nor dead, and I knew nothing, Looking into the heart of light, the silence.”

“The river’s tent is broken: the last fingers of leaf Clutch and sink into the wet bank. The wind Crosses the brown land, unheard. The nymphs are departed. Sweet Thames, run softly, till I end my song. The river bears no empty bottles, sandwich papers, Silk handkerchiefs, cardboard boxes, cigarette ends Or other testimony of summer nights. The nymphs are departed. And their friends, the loitering heirs of city directors; Departed, have left no addresses. By the waters of Leman I sat down and wept . . . Sweet Thames, run softly till I end my song, Sweet Thames, run softly, for I speak not loud or long. But at my back in a cold blast I hear The rattle of the bones, and chuckle spread from ear to ear. “

(My personal favorite line from this poem is, “I will show you fear in a handful of dust.”)

The Trial - Franz Kafka

~ The protagonist of the novel, Josef K., wakes up one morning to find that he has been placed under arrest for reasons that are kept from him. Kafka creates throughout the novel a scathing satire of bureaucracy, as K. tries to find out more about his case, more about his trial, but only becomes more confused as he digs deeper. There seems to be no rhyme or reason to the world he lives in, and the more tries to explain it the further the more that proves to be the case. An excellently constructed novel and a great one to read if you would like to be depressed about the state of the world because, though Kafka’s work is a satire, like a lot of his other work, it manages to strike a strangely real note.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead - Tom Stoppard

~ An absurdist play that is a retelling of Shakespeare’s Hamlet from the perspective of minor characters, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, who in the broad overview of the original play, do not matter. Throughout the play, they question their existence and the purpose of it and through that Stoppard dissects not only the absurdity of life, but how fiction and theater reflect that absurdity inadvertently.

As I Lay Dying - William Faulkner

~ The novel details the journey the Bundren family makes after the death of the family matriarch, Addie, to bury her. Each chapter offers a different narrative from the family members and those who surround them, revealing some ulterior motives to them “going to town” to bury Addie. The patriarch Anse desires a pair of false teeth, and the daughter Dewey Dell is pregnant and needs an abortion, as there is no way for her or her family to support it. It’s about the powerlessness of people in the impoverished south. The Bundrens are constantly subject to forces beyond their control, struggles which would be easily solved if they had the money to spare for it. There is more to the book, but that is my favorite reading of it, that of class. Faulkner’s ability to create distinct voices for every one of his characters shines through here.

And, last but not least:

The Collected Poems - Sylvia Plath

~ All the poems Plath wrote during her tragically short lifetime. The best way to demonstrate or summarize the book’s brilliance is just to show you. This is her poem “Edge”, which appears in the book:

“The woman is perfected. Her dead Body wears the smile of accomplishment, The illusion of a Greek necessity Flows in the scrolls of her toga, Her bare Feet seem to be saying: We have come so far, it is over. Each dead child coiled, a white serpent, One at each little Pitcher of milk, now empty. She has folded Them back into her body as petals Of a rose close when the garden Stiffens and odors bleed From the sweet, deep throats of the night flower. The moon has nothing to be sad about, Staring from her hood of bone. She is used to this sort of thing. Her blacks crackle and drag.”

HOPE YOU ENJOYED! HAPPY READING TO ALL!

#dark academia #books and literature #toni morrison #james joyce #tennessee williams #virginia woolf #william faulkner #sylvia plath #plays #poetry #can you tell i like southern and modernist lit lol?

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comradekatara · 3 years

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omg amazing do you have Thao songs you would assign to the gaang+?

instead of answering this ask like i did, for example, the fiona apple one, i’m gonna answer it like i did this ask, focusing on a singular album and the feelings it evokes. i’ve been listening to temple a lot lately so i felt that it made sense to focus on, especially considering its overarching themes.

temple is about intergenerational trauma, specifically between a mother and daughter, and the pressure of the daughter to live out the dreams her mother could not due to the ruination of war. therefore, i feel like it applies to katara in multiple ways: living out the dreams of her mother, grandmother, hama, and other waterbenders and/or women whose lives were lost to genocide, imperialist warfare, and even arranged marriages. but also, as a victim of that war herself, and reconstructing the southern water tribe as the only southern waterbender left, passing on that legacy to her daughter, and to korra, (and her other waterbending pupils, i would imagine,) knowing that they got to have the childhood free of war she had always longed for. i believe that korra would feel that mantle of responsibility strongly, as an extremely privileged kid growing up in a society that was on the brink of extinction less than a lifetime ago, and being mentored by someone who was exposed to the worst horrors of the war firsthand when she was only a child, and spent the rest of her lifetime trying to repair the damage. katara and korra’s relationship just means a lot to me okay....

phenom okay this song can definitely apply to lots of different characters: katara (”when the scorched of the earth / come back by sea”), toph (i know she’s extremely upper class but she’s also a disabled woman and as we see that puts her in an extremely tentative position that forces her into a position of docility and humiliation that she staunchly resists), mai & ty lee (irt their relationship to azula, their families, and the fire nation at large), but it first & foremost reminds me of hama, her overwhelming power, and her unquenchable thirst for revenge after the horrors the fire nation put her through.

lion on the hunt reminds me of azula’s rage & despair when she realizes that ozai doesn’t care about her and was only using her for his own ends, taking credit for all her (evil imperialist conquest) hard work while he just sat on his throne basking in the glory of having finally taken ba sing se. obviously the original context of the song itself is nothing so insidious, but the lyrics “they said I polish and astonish, and so why not me? / and then they said it's complicated and some wah, wah, wah / I made the map and you put you on it, pay me handsomely” really does remind me of that scene in “sozin’s comet” when we see azula’s reaction to ozai discarding her.

pure cinema this song is absolutely fuel for my “mai and sokka become best friends after the war” agenda because it totally resonates with both of them! they both feel like hollow shells driven by fear, a mere fraction of a person, just one incomplete piece of a puzzle. crucially, the difference lies in sokka’s eventual growth, later helping toph and zuko with those same feelings of displacement from their families by finding a new one. despite having loving and supportive biological family members, sokka is a depressed cynic with a fear of vulnerability, and it is the fact that he reaches out to them from a place of understanding that solidifies their respective places in this new family (suki too but she’s a far less developed character). concurrent to sokka, toph, and zuko’s ingratiation into the group, mai continues to feel alienated by azula’s insincerity and fear-stoking, and it is only at the end of her arc that she is able to stand up to azula and act authentically, but once she does, she is finally able to realize that she had true love all along.

marauders reminds me of the tension established in sokka’s relationship with suki in “the serpent’s pass:” how his guilt and trauma over losing yue makes him push suki away out of fear that he won’t be able to protect her. but by promising to protect him in turn, she proves to him that their relationship can be an equal partnership devoid of obligation––that their romance is not doomed despite his misgivings.

how could i makes me think of sokka’s guilt complex when it comes to not being able to protect the people he loves. katara was present for kya’s final moments, but sokka was on the other side of the village when she was murdered, and didn’t know what had happened until it was too late. and then, he considers it his fault that yue sacrificed herself for the moon spirit, because arnook explicitly told him to protect her. her physical body literally died in his arms. and as we see later, in moments such as in “the swamp” or “the serpent’s pass,” even though it was the fire nation’s fault (yon rha & zhao specifically) that kya & yue were forced to sacrifice themselves, he is still plagued by guilt.

disclaim evokes iroh’s legacy with his son(s), the guilt of realizing too late the devastation and atrocities for which he is responsible, and how he considers it his responsibility to shape zuko into the man he iroh should have been, and lu ten could have been. of course, the line “I was once an honorable man” is both incisive & ironic, since honor is an arbitrary construct, and iroh is no longer considered honorable because he developed morals. “I don't believe it's your destiny / to always chase my memory / how could it be insincere / to very clearly disappear” is interesting in this context because iroh clearly wants zuko to assume the throne and redeem the legacy of the fire nation, but in book 2, he’s also perfectly content to open a teashop and close himself off to the world outside the walls of ba sing se, along with his nephew. he knows that he and zuko have a duty to redeem the sins of their family, but there is a very large part of him that would be perfectly content with ignoring the outside world in favor of letting zuko heal. iroh is a complex character, but his love for zuko is never in doubt.

rational animal reminds me of toph’s arc: abandoning her oppressive environment (specifically, her abusive father) and choosing to live authentically: not conforming to society’s standards and limitations for her as a disabled girl (who also rejects femininity). the bridge of “i believe my own eyes” becomes even more powerful due to the fact that toph’s experiences are constantly invalidated by authority figures due to her disability. she is keenly perceptive and empathetic––and not despite her blindness, but, in large part, because of it.

i’ve got something is an extremely zuko song tbh. having the humanity & compassion stamped out of you to fulfill an imperialist agenda only to resist it due to your capacity for caring & overwhelming sensitivity that is impossible to ignore––that’s what it’s all about babey!!!

marrow is actually about all of them because they are all children of war who are capable of being loved and of loving in return! but aang and katara’s genocide trauma and their unbreakable bond over their shared grief and desire for understanding, companionship, and happiness is especially potent, as always.

#posts that are for 3 people one of them being myself #analysis #not tagging every character lmao #finally answered this cause im trying to clear out the inbox #(only 33 asks left to go!)#sorry it took so long #i have questions from february..... oof #anyway this is a hell of a lot of words for a post no one's gonna read #asks #edgarallanhoetry #synthesis #atlamusic

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buriedinbaltimore · 3 years

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so tell me about the cyberpunk au 👀 lmao okay i want to know about the mary/nathan jewish mafia!

Mean!! I will attempt a summary though lol.

So the cyberpunk au was supposed to be for the reverse big bang, but life fucked me up and I couldn’t write it in time. I am cowriting it with the amazing lizzy @wishbonetea, maybe you’ve heard of them? They designed a fucking cool as shit companion website that delves into the world of the Foxes, a group of hackers founded by Kayleigh Day, who are working to bring down the Moriyama Corporation, who own and control the internet. Moriyama Corp also controls the production of replicants, genetically engineered synthetic humans who are used as slave labor. Neil Josten and his mother ran away from his cult leader father 10 years ago and have been using a unique nanotechnology that Mary developed to hide themselves in a world where everyone is under constant surveillance. After Mary is killed, Neil discovers the Foxes and their community of people forging their own way of life, hidden from Moriyama Corp. Neil soon realizes there is more for him at the Palmetto Commune than a place to hide from his father, and that his mother was once more involved in the resistance than he ever could have imagined.

((there is so much going on in this story, wow!))

The Mary/Nathan Jewish Mafia wip is something I haven’t looked at in a while, but is very personal for me. Basically, it’s my take on Mary’s origin story, and how she and Nathan fell in love. I headcanon Mary and Nathan as jewish. The Hatford family were very orthodox, and Mary’s father used religion as an excuse to abuse and control Mary and her mother. Mary grew up resenting Judaism and God and when she finally escaped to America she had a journey of rejecting everything she grew up being told, and then coming to terms with what she really believed in and what she wanted to hold on to. Nathan I imagine as being a very secular jew, his parents were not religious either, and Mary finds his perspective incredibly interesting. They end up falling in love, and Mary’s family are actually how Nathan gets started in organized crime, because he was kinda just bumbling around but Mary’s father decided if that if he was going to marry his daughter he’d need to be able to provide (also open up opportunities for the Hatfords in America). But Nathan quickly rises up the ranks and eventually shakes the crime world up by starting his own “family” that isn’t dependent on shared ethnicity with himself at the head.

I’m gonna add a read more for why its so personal to me, and throw in a cw for a mention of child sexual abuse and discussions of misogyny and intergenerational trauma. (I’m not really sure how to label it, but if you need more clarification please ask)

Growing up, my mother never had a good relationship with her mom, and when I got older I found out that she was sexually abused as a child and her parents basically did nothing about it. Then when my mom was 15 years old, her mom started setting her up on dates with her coworkers. There was a pattern of sexual assault throughout my moms life, up until she met my dad. Her parents were neglectful and horrible, and when I found out about all of this I could not imagine how or why my mom continued any relationship with them at all.

I learned more about my grandma’s upbringing through my 2nd cousins. It turns out, her father (my great grandfather) was in the Jewish mob. I heard stories about the FBI coming to their house in Brooklyn, and them finding a gun in a storage unit. He was abusive to all his children, but especially his daughters. My grandma has repressed most of her own memories about her childhood, but from what I could gleam from family members it was extremely messed up. She learned, and taught to my mom, that women basically exist to serve men. Any reaction a man has to you is your responsibility, if you turn him on, it’s your fault, if you upset him, its your fault. You need to be a good girl and cater to the whims of the men in your life, and they are never at fault.

My mom has been through some therapy, and she decided she wanted her children to have grandparents, even if her own relationship with her parents was strained. I respect her choice, and I understand that my grandma has been through things I can never understand. Still, I don’t forgive her for how she treated my mom, and I do blame her. She is still my grandma and she is still in our lives, but learning to live with the complex feelings I have about her was a struggle and I continue to struggle with it.

And one of the hardest parts was recognizing how my mother’s trauma and her mother’s trauma contributed to my own. My sister’s and I occasionally discuss how it’s affected us, and especially our relationships with men, whether they are romantic, platonic, or even professional.

This fic was one way I tired to make sense of all those complicated feelings of pity and anger and guilt and disgust. It is a huge mess and idk if it’ll ever be something publishable, but its therapeutic if nothing else.

#saestrah #asks #jes.post #ask game #wips #this might be tmi #sorry! im feeling very open today #or i was until i wrote that now id like to take a nap #maybe is should ask people to not reblog?#yeah please do not reblog this thank you!#sorry we cant boost the cyberpunk au now lizzy :/ but we can do a different post!

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kashilascorner · 4 years

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Ok so I'm watching Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayengea and around 1h35m into the movie, the protagonist's mom has a conversarion with her and tries to convince her to marry a man she doesn't love. Now, in the outcome of this overly sentimental and somewhat cheesy scene, our heroine Simean finally accepts her arranged marriage to stranger. But what's most interesting here is how intergenerational trauma shared between mothers and daughters is portrayed. I am not of Indian or South Asian descent myself, so I cannot and will not comment on the specific cultural elements in play here. Though they are key and crutial to both the film and real-life mother and daughter relations within said context, it is not my place to talk about those specifics. Instead, I'll speak of mother-daughter realations in broader terms, and some of the points I have observed through real life and media.

I think the core of the (most often than not) inherently traumatic relationships between mothers and daughters is presented in this scene: Simra's mother wants, in short, for her daughter to be happy. That's reasonable, right? That's what any good mother should want for her children. Now, this is actually more complex: she (at least partly) wants her daughter to be happy because she was denied said happiness. In a way, mothers, frustrated in their attempt to succeed in their desires due to patriarchal pressures, look for fullfilment of the dreams they never reached through their daughters. In DDLJ, this is shown when Simran's mother states that her own life (a woman's life) is lived in constant sacrifice of her own wishes for men's welfare and wishes. She says she promised herself this would never happen to her daughter and in an honestly heartbraking statement she says she "forgot that a woman doesn't even have the right to make promises", and then goes on to talk about how much women sacrifice for men who never sacrifice anything for them.

Now, the thing here and second reason why in my opinion mother-daughter relationships tend to be so complicated and so strongly rooted in a sort of sociopsycological trauma: the mother not only wants to live her frustrated expectations through her daughter, but at some point they both realize this can never be fully realized. On one hand, the daughter might succeed in achieving her dreams (and this will lead the mother to feel both joy, envy, and more). On the other hand, the daughter might not succeed and therefore both the mother and daughter's hopes will die together/passed down to the next generation. To this you must also add that what we demand of womanhood changes with time, place and context, so even without the addded pressure of the mother's expectations, the daughter will most likely end up with her own share of frustrations and broken dreams. The socio-psychological trauma, along with the particular hopes and frustrations of the mother and daughter are in practice both augmented and determined by factors other than gender, such as ethnicity, immigration or something as apparently simple as the mother being closer in age to the daughter.

In DDLJ, the mother comes to terms with the harsh realities of womanhood as she grows up, but ultimately puts all her faith in the idea that these won't be so hard on her daughter. However, ultimately, her daughter has to sacrifice her happiness, and thus her mother's hopes as well. Now, in the novie it all ends up good: Simran gets with the guy she truly loves and there's happily ever after. But this particular scene showed a side of mother-daughter relationships and how they are tinted with the symbolic violence of patriarchal system, which I don't see very often represented in mainstream media.

#dilwale dulhania le jayenge #i remember talking about an ex-friend about how all women we knew have some sort of issue with their moms #and we pretty much reached the conclusion that mother-daughter relationships are all #blabla #long post #my meta

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dachi-chan25 · 4 years

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I finished my tbr but I didn't liked a lot of the books, I am so disappointed, I read 2 extra graphic novels to at least get something I did like so yeah.

1-Cinco Horas Con Mario - Miguel Delibes

🌟🌟

Se que es un clásico de la literatura española pero es que la mujer es insufrible de verdad que es una basura de personaje totalmente despreciable y prejuiciosa el concepto del libro me atrajo muchísimo pero de verdad que yo no puedo con el monólogo interno de esta mujer.

2.- The Young Elites - Marie Lu

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I think I know what they were going for with Adelina, Marie Lu was going for an anti hero or a fallen hero but Adelina lacked so much depth for that to be the case, sadly the worldbuilding wasn't great either, again the premise seemed intriguing to me but I didn't like the characters or the plot and seeing as this is very character driven I couldn't enjoy it nor am I inclined to read the next books.

3.- A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole

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I was so disappointed, I became intrested in this after reading about the author and how this book came to be published. But I am sorry to say I just couldn't connect with any of the characters or the humor so yeah it wasn't an enjoyable read for me at all.

4.-Athena's Champion - David Hair/Cath Mayo

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It was ok, I felt pretty luckwarm toward this, which is surprising as I loved the Moontide Quartet by David Hair, and this "prequel" to the Illiad certainly sounded like something I would enjoy but it felt so juvenile and again the characters annoyed me a lot, idk maybe I wasn't in the right mood for it.

5.-Four Dead queens - Astrid Scholtte

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The worldbuilding made no sense to me. It was predictable and the villian was a caricature, the romance was bland and the relationship I did care about came to nothing because the title itself spoils the queens die, like I just don't get how a system that doesn't work for anyone literally even the rulers disliked the Queenly Law is still going on.

6.-Kingsbane (Empirium #2)- Claire Legrand

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Whyyyyyy??? I really liked the first book, and unpopular opinion but I liked both queens, but this book was so wierd, Rielle felt like a whole new character like I was curious as to how she came to be the Blood Queen and it was such a disappointment I hoped for more, and Elena didn't fare much better, I just - I will not continue the series I just didn't like this book at all and i don't see how it will recover from the point it left us.

7.-The Kingdom of Cooper (Daevad Trilogy #2) - S.A Chakraborty

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Finally some good food!!!! So by this point I pretty much thought I was brain dead and didn't like reading anymore but this book returned my faith. Why hadn't I read this??? Nahri goes through so much in this book and I really love how much Ali and she complement each other, how idelistic and caring they both are, like I really want them together not only romantically (I mean I know they in laws but let's be honest Muntadhir would rather be married to Nahri's brother, soooo we can work it out) Dara fucked up but I did feel for him, like I don't support what he is doing but the politics of it were complicated, and well Daevad is a mess rn so yeah I am dying to see what happens next.

8.-Candide - Voltaire

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It was pretty funny and there is a lot of satire going on, I always appreciate that.

9.- La Senda del mexica - Joaquin Guerrero Casasola

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Me encanto el concepto, una novela negra ubicada en Tenochtitlan es algo que de verdad me intrigaba, sobre todo porque utilizan el concepto de detective viejo que ya duda de sus habilidades, Opochtli no es un personaje que me agradara en particular pero lo disfrute como protagonista y la historia aunque bastante sencilla fue muy original y descriptiva, realmente me pude imaginar todos los sabores y colores que describía Opochtli y eso lo aprecio mucho.

10.- King Lear - William Shakespeare

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This is a re-read for me, this play is one of my favorites and I enjoy a lot to read it every now and then.

11.- Bury what we cannot take - Kristen Chen

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This book is about a family that seeks to flee China during the Mao regimen to go to Hong Kong where the father lives with his mistress, the mother is unable to get permission for all of them leaves San San her young daughter then faces horrors as she tries to catch up with her family as her brother who was very loyal to the party tries to go back. I thought it was a great read really moving, but the end felt too open for me I wanted more I wanted to go deeper and Stronger w some themes so it left me dissatisfied.

12.- The Priory of the orange tree - Samantha Shannon

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I loved it!!!! The mythology surrounding the dragons and wyrms was great, the different realms w their different systems. The religion, in Virtudom especially where the ruler is believed to be a descendant from the Saint (and that plot twist), the characters and how well developed they were. Sabran and Ead! !!!! Like I was hoping they would be the saphicc romance everyone raved about cuz I loved their interactions, like I lost hope for a second there but then I was so happy when it came to happen, as a matter of fact the only reason why I didn't give this 5 stars is cuz I would have loved to have a prologue 10 years in the future to see them fulfill their promise.

13.- Verify - Joelle Charbonneau

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It might be good to introduce dystopic to a young audience, like this takes from many classic dystopias that gives a nice fundation if you never read one before, but as someone who enjoys dystopias a lot for me this was pretty boring and unoriginal, I know it was supposed to be a retelling of Fahrenheith 451 but I didn't see ir that way, like we could argue Paper is deemed as illegal and stuff but tbh it wasn't great, the main character was very unappealing to me, so not reading the next one.

14.-Prosper's demon - K.J Parker

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I really loved this one!!! Very short but succeeds in establishing the world and the characters, it was so good, full of morally grey characters, the ending left me shook like it really made me believe one thing and then boom!!!

15.-The Book of Lost Saints - José Daniel Older

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So this book is about a spirit taking possesion of her nephew's dreams so he will investigate what happened to her, how she died as she doesn't even remember her name, her memories are super vague. We unravel the story of a Cuban family in the middle of the revolution and institution of the communist régimen, how many people were prosecuted for fighting against Castro, among them Isabel and her sister Marisol. We get another amazing plot twist (for real it made me cry) intergenerational trauma and the search of identity as an immigrant pretty great stuff.

16.- Snow Glass Apples - Neil Gaiman

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I loved it!!!! Dark retellings are some of my favorite things, and I have always liked Vampire!Snow White, this is just so creepy and good.

17. - Laura Dean Keeps breaking up with me - Mariko Tamaki

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Lots of queer representation and drama!!!! For real I just wanted to hug Freddie and tell her Laura wasn't shit. So we get the Importance of friendship and a good support system how a relationship can be toxic even if there is love (codependence isn't fun kids) and lots of relevant topics.

Gosh i really wish next month goes better, I will do another unhaul.

#august 2020 wrap up #booklr #wrap up #dachi reads stuff #dachi rambles

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northamptoncouplestherapy · 4 years

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In every waking millisecond, we sit on the cusp of delight and apprehension

In our daily lives, we often do not know when a moment morphs from creation to cessation. Beginnings command our attention, proclaiming themselves with confetti and sparks: babies are born, we fall in love and build houses. While dancing in our kitchen, we throw caution to the wind, getting drunk on dreams and hope. Equally apparent are finalities, though they declare themselves more somberly: loved ones die, relationships end, and our children inevitably grow up.

In between memorable instances is the stuff of life — moments that make memories, which in turn compost into time and pave the way for the new. It’s in the realm of folding laundry, checking texts, and sitting in traffic that we dwell — not knowing in time, what each interaction and minuscule detail will stand out as, or if it will stand out at all.

I remember one autumn, walking in a meadow with my aging father. He was struggling with worsening heart failure, and his grey eyes and softened coloring seemed to coalesce into the landscape that surrounded us. This man, whose back I rode in tidal pools — who took me bushwhacking, owling and fishing for trout — could no longer cross a stream without taking my hand. In that moment, unbeknownst to me, slept the seeds of an ending, and I now realize that this was to be the last time we’d walk on wild ground together.

Often, only in hindsight do we comprehend that we have crossed such thresholds: moments when endings occur, and we are nescient. Though if we are lucky, we can still recall the last kiss or time we perched our child (now too heavy) on our hip. But, more likely, we will not remember these junctures. How could we? Nescience, defined as the absence of knowing, is more accurately associated with innocence, and less so with ignorance.

That we don’t recognize most endings when they happen is simultaneously tragic, merciful, and perhaps most poignant, profoundly human.

Is there a realm in between? Where the unconscious and the conscious intermingle — affording us daily opportunities to wake to our child’s musings, our mundane chores, and the silenced stirrings of our heart?

Social scientist and bestselling author Brené Brown speaks to foreboding joy (FBJ): windows of beauty and awe so painfully tender and lovely that in the space of a millisecond, we unconsciously flash to terror and shut them down. It seems our minds are prone to transposing the ghosts of catastrophe onto our sleeping children, most intimate loves, and occasions of good fortune.

FBJ, an instinctual recoiling from delight, is one of the most insidious defenses against vulnerability and is inherently embedded in being mortal. When (or if) we have a history of trauma, we may live for years unknowingly haunted by it, and, if left unchecked, it has the potential to shut down love and connection, two of the bedrocks of a wholehearted life.

Recently, while writing the article: John Gottman and Brene Brown on Running Headlong Into Heartbreak, a thought occurred to me that was so heartrending and breathtaking, it warranted an essay of its own:

Foreboding joy is Negative Sentiment Override to life.

Negative Sentiment Override (NSO), a term coined by John Gottman, speaks to the tendency toward viewing our partner and the history of our relationship through a darkened lens. It is a symptom as much as a state. Characterized by a loss of hope, our memories, once imbued with fondness, get recast in our mind’s eye and become concealed by gloom.

NSO is, in essence, a cumulative byproduct of missed opportunities for connection: sliding door moments, where we turn away (and against) junctures that necessitated our care and presence — we neglect to ask about the biopsy, forget to say we’ll be late, or dismiss the melancholy expression on our partner’s face — again and again.

What if every moment in life is a sliding door moment, and in turn, gifts us with opportunities to love or wither?

A child in utero will move towards its mother’s voice as surely as any day lily seeks out the sun. An infant’s heartbeat will synchronize to the rhythm of its primary caregiver by ticking in solidarity to the universal cadence of life: the crickets chirping, raindrops pattering and the rocking of the tide. We come into this world, turning toward — to love and to be loved. It is our birthright.

But what happens if, from the very beginning, life slaps us down and turns us away, meeting us with desynchronization or silence? If instead of a soft caress or a friendly smile, we encounter neglect, abuse, rejection, or ridicule by those we are wired to trust? What happens if we experience such assaults globally, as a result of factors beyond our control, such as our race, ethnicity, class, gender, or sexual orientation? The implications are staggering.

With each loss, we experience a growing intolerance to risk, and in turn, a subconscious aversion to joy. According to Brown, trauma’s greatest casualty is vulnerability. When we’re no longer able to discern what is safe, good, and life-giving, our compass is uncalibrated. So (understandably), we lose trust in life, dress-rehearse tragedy, and recoil or come out swinging.

Turning away from love is the hallmark of anguish. Our psyches and souls start to hurt when a growing sense of urgency complicates the ageless crucibles of mortality and transience. Have we reached a pinnacle where the cumulative legacy of humanity: intergenerational trauma, patriarchy, racism, genocide and negligent stewarding of our planet is compelling even the sanest among us to dive-bomb into the abyss by swallowing fistfuls of blue pills and disowning our vulnerability in turn?

In every waking millisecond, we sit on the cusp of delight and apprehension, informed by an infinite number of variables. What FBJ and NSO share in common, is a turning away from the potential of love, life and vulnerability — sometimes knowingly and sometimes not. In the belly of the whale lies loss and our relationship to it.

Over the summer, a momma fox and her two gangly adolescents took out every backyard chicken within five miles of our rural home. My daughter and I were standing at the door of a white transport van, in a Cumberland Farms parking lot, when the universe delivered a jumping bean of a rescue puppy into our arms and promptly scooped up seven chickens in exchange. We came home to silence and feathers.

A week later we brought home four new pullets, including a sweet black Australorp that honked instead of clucked. My daughter named her Midnight. We locked them safely away in the run. Several days later, while feeding the hens, I turned to the buzzing of flies and saw the starless shape of Midnight slumped lifeless on the stoop. Despite our diligence, we had lost another bird unexplainably, and I struggled with how to tell my child.

We cannot escape certain realities in life. The fox lives in the hen. What are we to do?

The Imperative to Delight

If joy is a portal to terror, it is simultaneously a gateway to delight — each shimmering moment invites us to embrace the paradox of our mortality. We awaken to myriad experiences: what is bitter may become sweet, what is sorrowful may become luminous. Delight, at its best, is the embodiment of gratitude, and I would argue that we are obliged to revel while together we weep — that in acknowledging we are ephemeral, there lies the potential for a sorely needed tenderness amongst humanity.

As poet Ross Gay so beautifully ponders in his essay: Joy Is Such a Human Madness, “What if we joined our sorrows — what if that is joy?” Such communing requires a willingness, courage, and most importantly, vulnerability. But, we can (and must) turn towards sorrow as surely as we turn towards delight — they are sisters and to embody both is grace at its finest.

Gay also takes it a step further, discerning between pleasure and delight. With pleasure being readily accessible and playing to our senses. Sitting with my ten-year-old over breakfast, sharing steamy black vanilla tea and a platter of smokey bacon and maple-cream frosted toast is a pleasure. It’s the first day of fifth grade. Looking at her face, her eyes the same river blue-green they were as a baby; the angle of her nose, familiar — yet not. Time bends, and I swell with tears and laughter — delight.

Sitting at the threshold of joy is both terrifying and magnificent. Angst is an understandable outgrowth. But when we reside here chronically and unknowingly, it is likely due to a multitude of injuries incurred over time. Trauma has crawled into our beds and slipped a worm inside our ear; it burrows deeply into our hearts and whispers that we are not lovable — the reclaiming of delight, and our worthiness of it, is therefore not a luxury but an imperative.

The Capacity for Awe

We must find a portkey — that magical touch-down object Harry Potter reaches for when circumstances necessitate that he transport himself from here to there — a portal to awe that is readily accessible and simultaneously grand: the first two verses of Cohen’s Hallelujah, a glint of light, a lush peony. Each of these can be gateways to joy because awe is non-discriminate.

By nurturing our capacity for wonderment, we nurture fondness and admiration for life. It’s a powerful antidote to negativism and hopelessness, flies smack in the face of nihilism, and is a courageous stance in response to hurt and fear. Furthermore, since awe does not require a shared theology, it is transcendent and is a balm that treats all wounds in a world where there are many.

As a couples therapist, I’ve witnessed my share of marriages ending. Having sat with partners whose love is metamorphosing or dying, I’ve observed the terror on people’s faces, heard the shouting and seen the tears that come from the inevitability of change. I’ve been struck by the palpable beauty and tenderness that can arise in the seemingly darkest of moments — a wife reaching for her husband’s hand while simultaneously weeping and saying goodbye.

Finding beauty and risking vulnerability through joy, is a monumental feat when in NSO to life. What awe is fantastically good at is taking that which rattles us, and instead calms, dazzles or assures us, thus morphing the full catastrophe of living into shimmering stardust. Even amidst suffering, life affords us ample opportunities to pause and take in the beauty, and when we can let our perspectives soften, things like our time-worn hands or the death of a relationship offer up potential in cultivating a gentleness.

I spent years eluding heartache, and in turn, the totality of joy. Despite my proclivity for sad memoirs and murder ballads, I did my best to keep loss at bay and maximize pleasure. On numerous occasions, I grasped when I should have let go, and with the steadfastness of Icarus, I burst into flames, then ash, then water. Loss has given me the gift of perspective and age (ironically) time. Grief is merciful that way.

When I was a child, my father kept honeybees. He’d lull them to sleep with smoke while we plundered their hives. In the space of an hour, I’d taste sweet nectar, get stung by a bee, and doze in the afternoon shade. It was all there: delight, pain, oblivion.

I don’t know much, only that the same force that created that honeycomb ravaged my father’s heart — that there is salvation to be found in mystery, tiny things, and being wrong, that foreboding joy and negative sentiment override are universal wounds of humanity which we must minister to tenderly and with care — and that in time, if we do not turn towards love, we turn towards nothing.

To learn more, click here.

#The Gottman Institute #Couples Therapist #Couples Retreats #Couples Counseling #Northampton Center for Couples Therapy

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whorchataaa · 4 years

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Dysfunctional Families and Their Psychological Effects

When the lockdown protocols were enforced earlier this year, our freedom, routine and responsibilities within households were disrupted. Along with this, increased uncertainty, financial stress and burden of care have lowered our window of tolerance. For many, it has opened old wounds and led to persistent conflict at home. Children are forced to experience strained family interactions, day in and day out, without the solace of distraction and distance.

There is a great degree of variability in how interactions and behaviors occur within homes, and the pattern of these interactions form the core of our family dynamic (Harkonen, 2017). Families have a unique set of dynamics that affect the way each member thinks and relates to themselves, others and the world around them. Several factors including the nature of parent’s relationship, personality of family members, events (divorce, death, unemployment), culture and ethnicity (including beliefs about gender roles), influence these dynamics. The list is endless, and it is no surprise that growing up in an open, supportive environment is the exception, rather than the norm.

It’s important to disclaim that the idea of a perfect parent/family is a myth. Parents are human, flawed and experiencing their own concerns. Most children can deal with an occasional angry outburst, as long as there is love and understanding to counter it. In “functional” families, parents strive to create an environment in which everyone feels safe, heard, loved and respected. Households are often characterized by low conflict, high levels of support and open communication (Shaw, 2014). This helps children navigate physical, emotional and social difficulties when they are young, and has lasting impacts as they transition into adulthood.

Alternatively, growing up in a dysfunctional family can leave children emotionally scarred, and affect them throughout their lives. Hurtful family environments may include the following (Hall, 2017):

Aggression: Behaviors typified by belittlement, domination, lies and control.

Limited affection: The absence of physical or verbal affirmations of love, empathy and time spent together.

Neglect: No attention paid to another and discomfort around family members.

Addiction: Parents having compulsions relating to work, drugs, alcohol, sex and gambling.

Violence: Threat and use of physical and sexual abuse.

For children, families constitute their entire reality. When they are young, parents are godlike; without them they would be unloved, unprotected, unhoused and unfed, living in a constant state of terror, knowing they will be unable to survive alone. Children are forced to accommodate and enable chaotic, unstable/unpredictable and unhealthy behaviors of parents (Nelson, 2019).

Unfortunately, children don’t have the sophistication to understand and verbalize their experiences, discriminate between healthy and unhealthy behaviors and make sense of it all. They may interpret the situation to fit the belief of normalcy, further perpetuating the dysfunction (e.g., “No, I wasn’t beaten. I was just spanked” or “My father isn’t violent; it’s just his way”). They may even accept responsibility for violence, to fit their reality. The more they do this, the greater is their likelihood of misinterpreting themselves and developing negative self-concepts (e.g., “I had it coming. I was not a good kid”).

During their younger years, children form certain beliefs and carry them, unchallenged, into adulthood. These beliefs are influenced by their parents’ actions and statements and are often internalized, for instance, “children should respect their parents no matter what,” “it’s my way or no way” or “children should be seen, not heard.” This forms the soil from which toxic behavior grows and may be communicated directly or disguised as words of advice, expressed in terms of “shoulds”, “oughts” and “supposed tos.”

Spoken beliefs are tangible but can be wrestled with. For instance, a parental belief that divorce is wrong, might keep a daughter in a loveless marriage, however, this can be challenged. Unspoken beliefs are more complicated; they exist below our level of awareness and dictate basic assumptions of life (Gowman, 2018). They may be implied by childhood experiences, for example, how your father treated your mother or how they treated you, encouraging you to believe ideas such as “women are inferior to men” or “children should sacrifice themselves for their parents.”

As with beliefs there are unspoken rules, pulling invisible strings and demanding blind obedience, e.g., “don’t lead your own life,” “don’t be more successful than your father,” “don’t be happier than your mother” or “don’t abandon me.” Loyalty to our family binds us to these beliefs and rules. There may be a marked gap between parents’ expectations/demands and what children want for themselves. Unfortunately, our unconscious pressure to obey almost always overshadows our conscious needs and desires, and leads to self-destructive and defeating behaviors (Forward, 1989).

There is variability in dysfunctional familial interactions — and in the kinds, severity and regularity of their dysfunction. Children may experience the following:

Being forced to take sides during parental conflict.

Experiencing “reality shifting” (what is said contradicts what is happening).

Being criticized or ignored for their feelings and thoughts.

Having parents who are inappropriately intrusive/involved or distant/uninvolved.

Having excessive demands placed on their time, friends or behaviors — or, conversely, receive no guidelines or structure.

Experiencing rejection or preferential treatment.

Being encouraged to use alcohol/drugs.

Being physically beating.

Abuse and neglect affect the child’s ability to trust the world, others and themselves. Additionally, they grow up without a frame of reference for what is normal and healthy. They may develop traits that they struggle with throughout their adult lives, and the effects are many. They may not know how to live without chaos and conflict (this becomes a lifestyle pattern) and get bored easily (Lechnyr, 2020). Children robbed of their childhood have to “grow up too fast.” As a result, they are disconnected from their needs and face difficulty asking for help (Cikanavicious, 2019). Children, who were constantly ridiculed, grow up to judge themselves harshly, lie and constantly seek approval and affirmation. Children may fear abandonment, believe they are unlovable/not good enough and feel lonely/misunderstood. As adults, they face difficulty with forming professional, social and romantic bonds, and are viewed as submissive, controlling, overwhelming or even detached in relationships (Ubaidi, 2016). To numb their feelings, they may abuse drugs or alcohol and engage in other risky behaviors (e.g., reckless driving, unsafe sex) (Watson et al., 2013).

Perhaps most serious of all, these individuals continue the cycle by developing their own parenting problems and reinforcing the dysfunctional dynamic (Bray, 1995). Being aware of the dysfunctional patterns of our past and how they affect how we think and act in the present is the critical first step.

Name painful or difficult childhood experiences.

Recognize you have power over your life.

Identify behaviors and beliefs you would like to change.

Be assertive, set boundaries and practice non-attachment.

Find a support network.

Seek psychological help.

For parents:

Heal from your own trauma.

Be kind, honest and open-minded — and listen.

Create an environment of respect, safety and privacy.

Model healthy behavior and practice accountability.

Give clear guidelines and factual information.

Learn how to apologize.

Be gentle with teasing, sarcasm, etc.

Allow children to change and grow.

Enforce rules that guide behavior but do not regulate one’s emotional and intellectual life.

Spend time together as a family.

Know when to ask for help.

References:

Härkönen, J., Bernardi, F. & Boertien, D. (2017). Family Dynamics and Child Outcomes: An Overview of Research and Open Questions. Eur J Population 33, 163–184. https://ift.tt/2Ybl1Nw

Shaw, A. (2014). The Family Environment and Adolescent Well-Being [blog post]. Retrieved from https://ift.tt/2V9xnEb

Dorrance Hall, E. (2017). Why Family Hurt Is So Painful Four reasons why family hurt can be more painful than hurt from others [blog post]. Retrieved from https://ift.tt/3hF1bSo

Nelson, A. (2019). Understanding Fear and Self-Blame Symptoms for Child Sexual Abuse Victims in Treatment: An Interaction of Youth Age, Perpetrator Type, and Treatment Time Period. Honors Theses, University of Nebraska-Lincoln. 89. https://ift.tt/2N7ye3y

Gowman, V. (2019). When Children Believe “I Am Wrong”: The Impact Developmental Trauma Has on Belief Systems and Identity [blog post]. Retrieved from https://ift.tt/2C9lK9k

Forward, S., & Buck, C. (1989). Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life. NY, NY: Bantam.

Cikanavicius, D. (2019). The Effects of Trauma from “Growing up Too Fast” [blog post]. Retrieved from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/psychology-self/2019/12/trauma-growing-up-fast/

Al Ubaidi, B.A. (2017). Cost of Growing up in Dysfunctional Family. J Fam Med Dis Prev, 3(3): 059. doi.org/10.23937/2469-5793/1510059

Lechnyr, D. (2020). Wait, I’m not Crazy?! Adults Who Grew Up in Dysfunctional Families [blog post]. Retrieved from https://ift.tt/37DLRAY

Al Odhayani, A., Watson, W. J., & Watson, L. (2013). Behavioural consequences of child abuse. Canadian family physician Medecin de famille canadien, 59(8), 831–836.

Bray, J.H. (1995). 3. Assessing Family Health And Distress: An Intergenerational-Systemic Perspective [Family Assessment]. Lincoln, NB: Buros-Nebraska Series on Measurement and Testing. Retrieved from https://ift.tt/3fBCF34

from https://ift.tt/2N5vlAl Check out https://peterlegyel.wordpress.com/

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ashley-unicorn · 4 years