#the public thinks you're enough of a clown to play the games but too much of a pussy to actually win them

[professionalfangirl24601]

AI continues the Riko roast attempt N2

in this one you'll see still no Riko, confused Kevin and Neil's questionable PR skills.

"You know, I get it," Neil said. "Being raised as a superstar must be really, really difficult for you. Always a commodity, never a human being, not a single person in your family thinking you're worth a damn off the court—yeah, sounds rough. Kevin and I talk about your intricate and endless daddy issues all the time. I know it's not entirely your fault that you are mentally unbalanced and infected with these delusions of grandeur, and I know you're physically incapable of holding a decent conversation with anyone like every other normal human being can, but I don't think any of us should have to put up with this much of your bullshit. Pity only gets you so many concessions, and you used yours up about six insults ago. So please, please, just shut the fuck up and leave us alone. We'll come to your games in peace, and we'll buy your gear. But we'll only do that if you step aside and give me another go at this thing called life."

Neil watched Kevin in silence for several minutes before deciding that—for once—he had to say something. "Kevin, you're great on the court, and the star players in this league who don't know how to act around each other deserve a big applause. You're a great teammate, a solid community person, and a great player. And I'd take a red-hot Dirk Nowitzki in the Finals any day over you. I like a lot of the things that you do on and off the court. I just don't like you. And I'd really appreciate if you could just not be yourself around us. At least then we can have a conversation."

"Nah," Kevin replied after a long pause. "I'm going to be myself."

Taken aback, Neil nodded. "All right, Kevin. You can be yourself. But, you know, a few rules. First of all, you'll have to leave for all practice and shootarounds, and for team meals. I don't want you fucking up the guy's practice routine or spoiling his warm-up routine. And I don't want you parading around half-naked around the arena, much less take my job from me. And while we're on the subject of nudity, I can't have you acting like a jackass with a blown-up Pepsi banner on my back like some sort of tramp."

"Got it," Kevin replied. "I promise to do my best."

"Good. Now, I also need you to tone down your sarcasm, petulance, and dry wit," Neil added, "and stop throwing your mouth open like some sort of baby duck whenever you're excited about something. It's embarrassing. It makes you look like a little punk kid who's already finished with elementary school. Let's see, since you've become a star, your teammates have won five more playoff series and won one more NBA championship, which makes you the winningest player in the history of the team."

"Yeah, whatever. I'm the best."

Neil sighed. "Yes, Kevin, you are, and you know it. You're also the most hated. I know you probably don't want me to tell you this, but your public is starting to catch on to your royal punkiness. Fans are starting to ask when you're going to stop messing around and start being the good-natured soul that you truly are. And while they're asking, they're not as excited when they see you coming to the game anymore. Now that they're no longer getting everything for free, they're demanding a fraction of your paycheck and coming to games only if they've got a death wish.

A quick look at your recent numbers shows that you're never gonna be able to sustain your market value, so you're losing sponsors faster than a Zippy the Pinhead cartoon. I think it's time that you made some more changes to your image and get back to being the class clown. You're going to have to wear these goofy glasses that are now a part of your uniform. You're going to start speaking in a baby voice and begging reporters for softballs as if you were some poor, innocent baby who just wants to be noticed. Then, you're going to bring every scrap of lunch meat and grease-stained Kleenex into the locker room with you, and you're going to start sucking on garlic-flavored toothpicks as if you were some cheap wannabe poser trying to play the part of an intellectual.

And last, but not least, you're going to start jerking off and spraying your entire body with strong-smelling hairspray before going out for a road game, and after the game, you're going to do it again. And then, when you get home, you're going to do it some more. You'll also start sniffing your own armpits, licking them, and making weird comments like, 'Look at that freakin' blue streak in my dreary locks.' You're going to stand in front of your mirror and constantly ogle yourself in the toilet bowl. You're going to call yourself Ginger, gussy yourself up, and belt out 'White Wedding' in the shower, and if you have a date, you're going to purposely rip her clothes off and pretend that it was your idea all along."

"I'm sorry, but I'm going to ignore everything you just said, Neil," Kevin replied, trying to speak without giggling.

"Fine. So, then, what's your big idea, Kevin?"

"Oh, this is priceless." Kevin giggled maniacally, and his teammates yelled for him to shut the hell up.

"You're totally gonna be in movies," Neil said. "You're going to play the bad guy, but make sure you get the girl in the end. You're going to go undercover for weeks and sneak into death-metal concert events, where you're gonna stage fights, mess up everyone's hair, and drink bleach while being the absolute worst thing to ever hit a concert stage. People are gonna love it. You're going to start releasing dark, angst-filled folk-rock ballads, full of powerful emotion and heartache. You're going to start writing scathing criticism of the president and your teammates on your blog, but under a false identity so that nobody will recognize your name when you're actually being serious.

You're gonna get married, have two kids, and then have to suffer through a divorce that's so nasty that your ex-wife's going to get remarried within a month of the divorce. You're going to get beaten up regularly by her new boyfriend, who will be an enormous douche, and then have a car accident, and your legs will be broken so badly that you're going to need crutches. You're going to lose your job as a sportswriter, and then your wife's going to get fired from her job as a waitress because your friends will keep inviting her to your games. You're going to have to drive an old junker car that is crammed with mismatched parts, and you're going to have to flip yourself through traffic lights and weave in and out of oncoming cars while wearing a suit that's way too big for you. You'll bring hundreds of dollars of Taco Bell and Tostitos lunch meat into your home, and you'll be constantly sniffing your fingers like a dog, but somehow, that's going to work for you."

"Why don't you shut up?" Kevin demanded.

"I'm telling you, it's the perfect plan," Neil said Kevin finally stopped laughing and his cheeks began to redden.

"I'm sorry, but I don't get it."

"Well, all I can say is that you're damn lucky that the Sacramento Kings are playing against the San Jose Sharks this season, otherwise I'd lock you in your room right now, and I'd make you eat a full eight-course dinner," Neil replied. "I don't think you're ready for a Gregg Popovich type of coaching. I'll let you take the next couple of days to ponder this information."

"Uh, okay," Kevin said. "Thanks, Neil," he added quickly as he ran off to the bathroom to vomit in the toilet.

#i also tried to do one with Wymack's motivational speech and one of the lines it came up with was #the public thinks you're enough of a clown to play the games but too much of a pussy to actually win them #but then the page reloaded suddenly :( #aftg #neil josten #kevin day #aftg shitpost #funny #AI technology #this is the last one i swear

[wonderwomanfantasy]

Sero NSFW alphabet

I can write sero smut... as a treat. 

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He treats you like a god once he’s done with you. He’s a big fan of after sex massages. Sero also likes to smoke a little after sex but that usually leads to one of you getting horny and having sex again so like/ not really after sex more like mid sex. 

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He’s got such a nice jaw and he knows it. Please kiss his jaw and chin he will get so riled up. 

Sero likes your back, it’s got such a nice shape to it and he loves the little moles and freckles on your back. He spends a lot of time touching your back when you too cuddle/ looking at it while he rails you from behind

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

his cum is so fucking thick for no reason. He can’t really do cum shots because it’s too god damn heavy to fly off. it’s also like, sweet? not like a lot just a little sweeter than average, it makes going down on him bearable. 

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He takes so many practice nudes, Like he is so concerned you won’t like his dick pics so he takes a thousand and only sends you the best ones. this also leads to posing after he gets out of the shower. 

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

I mean he’s had sex before but probably only one or two partners, its a bit of a learning experience for both of you. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

It changes day to day tbh on the one hand he likes fucking you from behind where you’re laying down, but he also likes it when he tapes your legs above you're head and he fucks you that way but also also he loves it when you ride him - or when He fucks you while spooning gah theirs just too many to chose from. for the most part though he likes positions where he gets to touch you and look at you as much as possible. 

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

...if you read kinktober day 31 you know what i think. Yeah he’s an absolute CLOWN do not trust this boy he will start humming the wee theme song in the middle of blowing your back out. He loves to see you laugh so he might fuck around and start tickling you while he’s eating you ot or something.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

This boy has a full on bush he is so fucking hairy. he has a thick treasure trail starting at his belly button and leading to his pubes wich are a mess tbh. he keeps it clean but like unless you ask him to trim he won’t think to do it. a lot of chest on his chest and his under arms too

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Like I said most of the time he’s a goof but hear me out- after like a glass of wine he gets so romantic. Please imagine tipsy Sero whispering soft praise in your ear and calling you pet names in Spanish while he kisses your neck and fingers you. 

something to think about idk

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

not often tbh, really only when you’re not around to do it for him but most of the time he’s patient enough to wait for you to be in the mood too. but if you ask he will send you a video of him putting, all those practice nudes pay off. 

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

food play- That one ask really did something for me AnYwAys. He liked feeding his partner, it really turns him on and he loves it when he gets to eat off of you, and he generally has an oral fixation and this feeds you. 

praise- please he is so soft, he loves to worship your body and tell you how gorgeous he thinks you look when he’s fucking you and he will go feral if you give him some of that energy back he loves it when you praise him

cum play- uhm. hmm, how to phrase this. He likes to cum in you and when he pulls out push the cum back in with his fingers until it’s all soaked up same if he came in your mouth

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

shower/ bath sex babie. He loves the feeling of water around you and it’s also super hot when both of you are sweaty/ dirty he really gets off on that. 

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

when you're clingy. he feels his soul assend to a higher plain of being when you needy and crawl into his lap to hug him. Of course if you’re not feeling it he can be a gentleman and keep his hands to himself but if you want to be even closer with him...

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

piss. Idk he just thinks it’s gross

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

you are his fucking world and his face is your throne please watterboard him he loves to give head you are just so yummy he can’t get enough of you. 

he likes getting head as much as the next guy but it’s really an after thought to absolutely devouring you and making your legs shake. 

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He likes to go slow and take his time unraveling you. His strokes are long and deep. it’s almost torture that he won’t speed up unless you beg him. Sero takes his sweet time building you up, and you hate it.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

pretty indifferent tbh. He likes them fine and he enjoys the risk of doing it in some place public but he’d prefer to fuck you properly some where he can take his time with you

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

meh he knows what a he likes so he can be a little hesitant to try something new but he’ll usually bend to your will and try something for you. 

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

pretty average, he can go for a while with out busting but after he cums he gets pretty tired quickly and needs a break in between rounds

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

like I said earlier he loves to tie you up and use his tape on you and he’s a pretty big fan of other toys too like vibrators and nipple clamps, anything to get you worked up really. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

mmm not really a tease in his actions but in his words. He likes to pick on you a little bit to get a laugh or make you beg if you really want something but he’s usually not the type to withhold pleasure, unless you’ve been really bad.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He is quiet but he talks a lot. Sero likes to moan in your ear softly, He’ll praise you and tell you how pretty you look right now and whisper how much he loves you but it’s all easily drowed out by the noises you make which he lives to hear. 

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

I didn’t have anywhere else to put this but he is a big Service top / Pleasure dom. He’s not really mean to you and he will do just about anything you want him too but he sure as hell is in charge and he reminds you of that fact by overstimulating you until you’re crying and can’t take anymore. 

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

hee hee he’s got a big cock. I know it I know it’s big. hmm no thoughts just sero’s big cock. uhm anyways like pretty nice it’s long and thick with some pretty purple veins and a slight left curve to it

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

I mean. it’s healthy but not as high as say Kaminiari’s sex drive. little things get him worked up and that tends to build until it’s too much to take

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He will stay awake long enough to take care of you but he likes to cuddle pretty soon afterwards. 

#Sero Hanta #sero x reader #sero smut #sero hanta x reader #imagine sero #sero x reader smut #my hero academia #my hero acadamy #my hero academia imagine #my hero academia head cannon

[madampianoo]

Hey guys 💖 Here's Zlatans latest FULL interview with France Football. Hope you guys enjoy it as much as I did. This was such tasty appetiser before tomorrows main course meal match and start of his new season.

P.S. Please excuse english, it was google translated

Have you ever found your stolen Fido Dido ?

"Not. They stole it and I never saw it again. But maybe it was cosmic justice for all the bikes I stole. It's a pity, it was my favorite bike ... "

If you could find the one who stole it from you now, what would you do to it?

"I would buy him a new one and take mine back."

You devoted a lot of space to that story in your autobiography. Was it a turning point in your life to move from the role of victim to the other side?

"No. I was young and stupid. I did all sorts of things to survive. I needed a bike to ride here and there. When they stole my bike, I started stealing them from others. I did it solely for the reason that I could not afford to buy others. I know it's not a positive story ... But things like that are done to move forward in life, right? ”

What would you steal from football today if you could and give it to little Zlatan ?

"Nothing. I would just tell him to be more patient. And that his hard work will return one day. I worked hard, but I didn’t have the patience. I wanted everything now. "

How did you learn to be patient?

"It's very difficult when you're young. But when you have the experience I have now, learn what patience is. But when you are young and wild, full of various ideas and energy, when you want to discover the whole world and learn everything at once, then it is not easy to be patient. You need to be surrounded by people who have experience, who will calm you down and who will tell you the truth. "

What will be left behind Zlatan Ibrahimovic when he finishes his career?

"I do not know. Something will remain ... If something remains, it means I did a good job. Maybe some of my ideas and thoughts will remain from everything. That you should believe in yourself, that you should have your own personality and that you should not refrain from saying something you think. "

Did you make mistakes?

"I make mistakes every day. I am making a mistake now that I am talking about your newspaper. "

Maybe we're making a mistake talking to you too ...

"I'm kidding ... Mistakes are normal, we make them every day and they help us to be better people. "No one is perfect."

What are you most proud of?

"Everything I did. I come from a place where everyone condemned me and told me that something was impossible. I was constantly told that I was not good enough. And I'm still here. I stand still in my football boots. At 39 years old. And I'm proud of that. "

Could you have done more than this?

"It can always be more and better. It's a question of mentality. "

Even you?

"Every person can do better and more. In my head I always aim for the maximum and I am always convinced that I have given the maximum. Could I have done better, that can be discussed ... "    

Do you ever get tired of the attention of the public, journalists, fans, everyone's opinions?

"It's all part of my job. I didn't choose it that way. When you are as good as me, that is inevitable and must be accepted. "

How do you comment on the claims of some that you are a great player in small games?

"Everyone has the right to an opinion and to express it."

Did that bother you when you were younger?

"Not. I used it as a propellant to be as good as possible. I was motivated by such stories. I went forward and looked to never be satisfied. I received all these criticisms in such a way as to ignite the fire in my heart and to extract additional energy from them. "

What do you regret?

"It simply came to our notice then. Do you really think that I would be a better football player if I won all the trophies? "

Not. Even the Brazilian Ronaldo did not win everything ...

"Exactly. Of course, it would be wonderful if I won everything. But that doesn't make me a weaker or better footballer. I like guys who say to me: 'Zlatan, you didn't win the World Cup, you're not a good player'. Okay ... But it's easier to win the World Cup when you're French than when you're Swedish. Let's go back to the Champions League. The longer you wait for it, the sweeter it is. I still have a goal to win it. I won everything but her in club football. But I won't quack even if I don't win it because I've already done a lot more than most footballers. I'm a happy man. "

You didn't even win the Golden Ball. Does Zlatan miss the Golden Ball or does the Golden Ball miss Zlatan ?

"I think they miss me there on that list of conquerors."

You finished in fourth place in terms of the number of votes in 2013, and that is your best ranking. Is it weird that you didn't win it?

"You see, every player wants a trophy that tells him he is the best in the world. Deep down, I think I'm the best in the world. It would be prestigious if I won it, but it is the voters who decide. You journalists are voting and you know why I didn't win it! Ha-ha-ha ... ”

Well, it's not just us from France, there are also journalists from all over the world ...

"A-ha-ha!"

Messi and Ronaldo have won it several times. What do they have that you don't have?

"If you talk about essential qualities, I have nothing less than them. If you look at the trophies, I didn't win the Champions League like them ... But I really don't know how you measure and calculate that. Nor am I obsessed with it. You see, when you do good collective things, then individual rewards are a consequence of that. An individual cannot be good if the collective is weak. "

Where do you see yourself in the history of football? If there was a table, where would you put yourself?

"What do you want me to answer you?"

Who would be next to you on that table?

"It is not relevant to compare players from different eras. Everyone played in their generation, with different teammates. These are difficult things to compare. Everyone has their own story, and mine is full of problems. "

Does your personality set you apart in the world of football?

"I am just what I am. People try hard to be ideal to others. I always say ‘Be what you are and that is perfection’. I will not change because of success. For no reason will I change. Whatever happens, I will be what I am. I just want to play my game and have my team win. The rest will come of its own accord. I didn't choose to be famous. It's just a consequence of the work I do. "

We thought about jumping out of the pattern and what you're doing on the field.

"But it's all connected to the field. People talk a lot off the field today. But if you're not good on the field, and you talk a lot, then you're just a clown. "

Are there many clowns in the world of football?

"As much as you want ... A bunch!"

You consider yourself ideal in your head because you are what you are. How do you know this is right?

"I don't want to be perfect to someone else by force and talk about how I don't make mistakes. Maybe all this is a mistake. But I will remain what I am. I don't want you to send me questions before the interview, I don't want to know what you're going to ask me, I don't care. Readers will judge us whether the interview is good or not. "

When you left Paris Saint-Germain, you said, 'I came like a lion, I leave like a king . ' Do you really care so much about being remembered?

"I wrote my story in Paris and left my motto. Now let someone else write it and leave your motto. I don’t try to make people remember me by what I say. He will remember me on the field and what I did there. "

Are you arrogant or pretentious?

"I'm just a man full of confidence."

Does it matter to you that they recognize you as special?

"I am not special. I am a normal guy and a professional. I don’t want to share my whole life with the rest of the world. I'm not an instagram clown who wakes up in the morning and thinks what is the most beautiful photo for him to post. I share my professional challenges with the rest of the world. Privacy must exist. I don't want to share it either. But I want to share some parts of my professional life because it's part of my job. "

Do you deliberately block the fragility and insecurity from your childhood with your behavior, when the fierce guys in your Rosengard called you "lukewarm"?

"No. And I have a part of the personality that is fragile. I have emotions and weaknesses. There are things that hurt me. It's all natural. I'm not the Hulk, I'm not Superman, nor have I ever wanted to play them. I had difficult moments that hardened me, but I stepped forward. Today, I am no longer a guy of 20 or 25, but a family man with two children. I think differently, but my character has remained the same. "

Are you still a fierce guy at 40?

"People, is it possible that you still consider me a football gangster?" I know you had that title and some picture ... I'm no gangster. Of course I'm still a strong guy. I am almost two meters tall and I train hard and work on myself every day. I'm not someone who lies on the beach and shows muscles. I was born like this and I try to adapt the game to my constitution. I'm not as fast as I was at the age of 25, but now I have some other qualities. "

Does that mean you're a good guy?

"Yes I am. When you meet me, you will see how much heart I have. When they don't know me, people hate me. "

Do you want to be loved by everyone?

"No. I just want to be respected when I do something good. In fact, what is the love of all? There can be no love from someone I don't even know. Love is something reserved for those closest to you. Take Inter fans for example. When I was with them, they loved me. Now they hate me. This means that love has never been as real as with loved ones. Love cannot arise and disappear so quickly. I'm not one of those guys who will organize humanitarian actions just for someone to tell them: 'Wow, he's a good guy!'. It's a 'fake'. I'm going to do something because I want to do it. And not because someone would like me. I do it with my heart, some do it with my brain. If I send money to hospitals, it doesn't have to be known. I'm doing this because they really need that money with this damn crown. And I will not brag publicly. "

Is that one of the worst things in football today?

"It's simply part of football. People want to have perfect images. But in the end, they will meet reality. Everything will be known. Look at Tiger Woods. It seemed to be the most perfect character in the world ... People, just be what you are and don't try to be someone else. Don’t manipulate because it will all come back to you. No filters! ”

When you learned the Swedish national anthem, did you do it from the heart, not to be loved in your own country?

"When I was little, I didn't feel like a Swede. My parents are from Bosnia and Croatia. They influenced me to feel different, to look at me differently, to judge me differently and to treat me differently. That's why I didn't feel 100 percent Swedish. But today I am 100 percent Swedish. Even in France today, many talk about some old France and old times. The world today is full of various mixes and contrasts. And it doesn’t mean you’re not 100 percent Swedish or French if you accept that world. When you are young, you do not understand some things. It is mentally difficult when you are treated differently as a child. People think that it will pass quickly, and they do not know that the consequences remain for years. I was always in favor of getting the strongest blow at once because the pain lasts less than being constantly harassed with small and vile blows. Constant harassment leaves longer traumas. But those people who are harassing do not know that they are backward and live in the old world while we pass in front of them with the new world. It is a world of open minds in which I am Swedish and in which my children are Swedes. "

Do you still think differently from LeBron James, with whom you used to be friends?

"I do not want to enter politics because it divides people. Football unites people. I was lucky to meet people I would never have met without football. From all over the world. "Sport and politics are two different worlds and I am glad to be in the former."

But it happens that you express an attitude that has to do with politics.

"We athletes spread love and joy. I'm good at it and I know how to do it. You will not bring politics into my world. "

What are your fears and anxieties?

"With this corona situation, the world has changed completely. The situation is improving a bit, but ... The other day I went out to a restaurant with my family. It was weird. Then cam video audience in stadiums. And that was weird to me. I got used to it and I only wanted one thing: To go home ?! I'm used to the house, the masks ... It won't be easy to come back mentally. I hope that everything will be the same as before, but I am afraid that this will leave consequences on people. "

When you became a parent, did your children bring fears?

"There is no room for fear when we talk about children. We can talk about weaknesses. When you have children, they become your weakness. Then your life is no longer in your hands but in theirs. They become the most important ... Guys, we missed the interview date! I won't give you any more! I'm too expensive to tell you so much, ha-ha-ha ... "

How expensive are you?

"A lot ... Ask PSG!"

Can I have another five, ten minutes?

"Come on."

We would like to ask you about retirement. Are you afraid to stop playing football?

"A little bit. It is difficult for every football player when he has to retire. You have been programmed throughout your career. It is known when you get up, have breakfast, train, have lunch, rest, have dinner ... Someone else takes care of everything, it's just yours to press the 'repeat' button every day. The first day you wake up at the end of your playing career, you ask yourself, 'What the hell am I going to do today?' You are no longer programmed and you do not know what to do. That scares me a little. But what should I do? Luckily, I don’t think about it yet. I'm not for retirement. "

We in France call it the ‘little death’.

"That's it! Absolutely! After a lot depends on what kind of person you are. How will you cope and how will you fight. It's not easy".

But isn't that some kind of relief? You can eat and drink whatever you want

"After my playing career, I want to disappear. When you are in this world like me for so long and you know what you have been through physically and mentally, you just need to disappear and enjoy life

#ibrahimovic #ac milan #zlatan ibrahimovic

[make-me-imagine]

congrats on 5.5k!! you're insanely talented and I'm so happy you're getting the recognition you deserve 🥺🥺 could i join in the ship requests too?

I'm a rather small sized (like, 154cm & ~40kg kind of small) Asian female from a South East Asia country and i prefer men, especially men who are taller and Age Gaps™ 🥴 I'm not sure how much you know about/believe in astrology but I'm a Libra sun, Taurus rising and Capricorn moon so you can do what you want with that 😂

I'm an INTP/INFP (I've gotten both an equal number of times from sites OTHER than 16 personality, tho I personally vibe with INTP just a teeny smidge more) if you do MBTI ✌🏼 I LOVE to read, especially fanfiction lmao, and i also write! I really love listening to music + watching shows/movies too! My favourite shows are all mystery/crime based LOL and I am working towards becoming a criminal psychologist/forensic pathologist/forensic scientist in future! (heavily inspired by Criminal Minds, Sherlock, Detective Conan and the like so 😂) I have a really vivid and good imagination please i can spend DAYS just daydreaming and imagining scenarios that I never finish writing about & generally this is how all my work is never finished loll

I'm the eldest sibling at home, and my parents haven't always been around so I've been rather used to stepping up and taking care of myself (+ my sibling, like helping them with homework and all). Some people say I'm a natural born leader? idk bc I often step up to be the leader in group work & I'll often be the one to initiate things & all. I'm a rather big procrastinator though LOLL so you'll often catch me rushing my assignments & final projects & rushing my revision for exams + finals like, 2 days before the actual exam 💀 which often leads to me becoming more stressed out & breaking down more often than i actually should so 🥲 I'm trying to quit this bad habit though

I love cuddles and hugs please I will KILL for cuddles and hugs from my back by a tall character pls it just feels so safe and comforting to be spooned too 🥺🥺 sometimes when I'm too absorbed in work or something (which happens too often for it to be healthy) I might just forget to eat/sleep entirely AND also my sleep routine isn't the best. like i will literally fall asleep at 9pm, wake up in the middle of the night on my own at like, 1am, then usually I'll be rushing homework at this time, then maybe sleep again for a short while from 4ish? till when i have to get up for school/work at 5:30/6am 💀 there's been days where i literally looked so sick from the lack of sleep where my tutor once stopped the class to ask me if I was okay and if i was going to faint LMAO 😔 i feel like I'm a night owl??? but then also i have no problem getting up super early in the morning so?? but i really feel most at home and really enjoy the 3am nights 😌

i am also the class clown lol but it's bc i just make sarcastic comments and all and my friends think they're funny???? but also i enjoy making people laugh bc sometimes i find it interesting to try and see what kind of things make my friends laugh so it's lowkey an experiment? or like something i want to achieve? at this point. I'm fluent in English and Chinese/Mandarin and I'm learning Italian so I roughly know some basics, and I really enjoyed History, which I took last year but dropped this year. (I'm taking English Literature with Biology + Chemistry this year and they're all great, except I'm literally dying from the workload aaahhh 💀)

I'm kinda clumsy and Not Good™ at most sports, maybe passably okay for badminton but I'm really not that athletic and really not very keen on exercising either 😔 I'm quite creative and good with public speaking/creative writing/impromptu performance/speech though I'd say! I'm also in my school's drama club 😎 though I'm more of a backstage lights & sounds kind of person. I'm right handed (with a really neat handwriting, as I've been told many, many, many times) and I wear thin frame spectacles which I sometimes will fall asleep in & I'm so clumsy/careless that I'm actually really afraid I'd break them (it's happened before 😭)

I'm a really good planner? like i can do up a great and detailed schedule/plan for revision and all but i will NOT stick to what i plan 😭😭 i love to snack!!!! on chips + gummies especially, and my diet is quite unhealthy lmao i literally don't eat vegetables At All™ & i don't really eat meat that much too?? lmaoo please i can go for days without having a single proper meal & just survive on snacking on potato chips + soft drinks 💀 i am a very picky eater though so really me not finding food i like/am able to stomach is also really kind of my fault 🤡

while i really vibe with and love the dark academia aesthetic, i also do video/MOBA games, like i play games like Mobile Legends & all. I'm someone who knows most, if not all the lastest trends (like tiktok, memes etc) but i won't actively participate in them? i just kind of like to know things, like Knowledge is Power you know (I'm a Slytherin, in case you're wondering, though I've gotten Ravenclaw so often it's a close tie sometimes)

okay i feel like that's enough details about me? feels like I've told you nothing that's useful oh well LOL... I'd really love a ship for Criminal Minds and Marvel? if that's possible please? in case you missed it, i prefer men! (I'm a questioning bi, with a strong preference for men) for the hc prompt "what you do on your first date" or maybe "how you met + first impressions"?

thank you so much for being so kind and willing to do this ship requests thing!! I'm sure you're spending TONS of time and effort on this and aahhh i feel bad for typing so long paragraphs now (as you may have noticed i have a tendency to ramble on if not stopped because i am just really Socially Awkward ™ sometimes 💀 and have really bad (social) anxiety too) and i really think you're super amazing for doing this??? I'm so sorry if this took up too much of your time aaahhhhh thank you so so so much 🥺😭😭 really the biggest of congratulations to you for your 5.5k??? you really do deserve every single follower & i am SO insanely happy for you 🤩❤️

- 🌙🏒 anon

Don’t worry, you definitely provided enough information lmao. 

And thank you for your kind words, I appreciate it. 

I hope you like the ships I made for you

They are under the cut: 

Criminal Minds: 

I ship you with Hotch. 

You get the age-gap here lol. He would be a bit hesitant due to the age gap at first, but he would get over it because he can not resist. He does not seem like the type of cuddles, and especially does not take part in PDA. But when you are alone he would love holding you and spooning, especially after a long day of work. Aaron would be attracted to your uniqueness as well as your intelligence and aesthetic, finding it to be very “you”. 

How you met + his first impressions: 

You met when you were transferred to the BAU as the new Forensic Pathologist.

Hotch thought you were very interesting when you first met and was definitely intrigued by you. 

He thought you fit in fairly well and would get along with the others (which you do). 

He appreciates a sarcastic sense of humor, so he would dig that as well.

Hotch could tell you had a form of anxiety and wold be patient around you when you first met so that you could open up to him at your own pace.

What you do on your first date:

He takes you to a hockey game. 

He is not the sportiest person but he has had an interest in hockey for a while, sometimes watching it on tv. 

When he learned that you liked it, he decided that this would be the perfect opportunity to invite you on a date as well as to see his first game. 

After the game, you walked around town for a bit, getting some late night food and talking or a long time. 

This allowed you to open up to him quite a bit and you grew more comfortable around him as well, which he is very happy about. 

Best Friend: 

Your best friend is JJ. She thinks you are really cool and unique and nice. She has the type of personality that is easy t get along with and open up too, so you bonded with her quicker than the others. I also feel like she is into hockey as well, so she appreciates your love for it as well. 

-

Marvel: 

I ship you with Sam. 

I think Sam is a good fit for you. He is into sports, and digs your aesthetic. He is easy to get along with and very funny. He thinks your line of work is very interesting and loves to listen to you talk about it. Sam also really enjoys crime shows ans thrillers so he is always excited to meet someone who enjoys them as well. 

How you met + his first impressions:

You met through Nat, who you had met through SHIELD years before. 

You happened to be at the compound with Nat when Sam was there and she introduced you. 

He immediately thought you were pretty and very interesting.

Sam could tell you were shy, but that did not stop him from flirting.

Though he also made some jokes and was easy going as to not scare you off. 

He made sure to ask Nat about you once you left and managed to convince her to give him your contact info. 

What you did on your first date: 

He took you to the movies first, to watch the most recent crime thriller that came out. 

After the movie you went to a nearby park and walked around, talking about the movie and other crime/horror related stuff. 

You got food at a food truck and sat by the fountain together. 

He was appalled when you told him that you didn’t eat that often (if came a part of your relationship later on that he would try to cook you meals that you’d like just so you WOULD EAT). 

You ended up spending hours together, and it felt like no time at all.

So you were definitely up for another date with him, which he of course asked you about.  

Best-Friend: 

Natasha. She was the first one you met, and slowly introduced you to the others. She thought you were really cool when you first met and was surprised at how well you go along. That is sometimes hard for her to do, so once you became friends she never took that for granted. She and Sam would gang up on you when you weren’t eating btw. 

xxaaron

#ship #ships #ship request #5.5k ships #anon ship #anon #ask