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tvcoroner · 4 years

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Kara Deserves Better...Than This Fandom (Huge Rant)

I have a question to ask people.

Why the hell are you freaking out about William so much? You have no fucking clue where this is going to lead. Do you remember when you guys lost your shit for WEEKS after William asked her out the first time and the result was Kara telling him she wasn’t interested?

Sure, she only did that because Lena has made her feel so insecure about keeping her secret as Supergirl that she was scared to open up, but you idiots lost your minds for weeks for NOTHING.

And your dislike for William does not match his oh so horrendous crime of being mean to her a few times at the start of the season. Like seriously, book-fucking-hoo. Lena literally manipulated Kara and then encased her with kryptonite, a substance that is AGONIZING to her, and you people excused that away in an instant. William isn’t kind for a little while? Well, he’s canceled now!

But to me, the most ridiculous part is that so many of you are taking this like it’s a personal insult to you. Like this is only happening to give you the middle finger.

Get the fuck over yourself, you self-absorbed baby. This might come as a surprise, but decisions are made on this show without anyone giving a fuck what you think or feel, and I honestly don’t blame them for that after the years of literal bullying you have sent their way.

You cannot treat people like shit and then expect to get what you want, and treating people like shit has been your primary method of expressing yourself almost the entire run of the show.

If seeing Kara being happy is such a problem for you because she’s not happy in the exact way or for the exact reasons you want her to be happy, then I’m sorry to report the obvious here, but you don’t give a fuck about Kara.

I have seen way too many of you throw her under the bus at every opportunity. This season alone has shown more than any previous that so many of you people care more about what Kara can represent for you than the person she is or what she does.

I mean, the Supercorp fandom can barely manage to give a damn about Kara anymore. For a long time now Supercorp has been about Lena, and what’s good for Kara is secondary to that, if even that.

This season has just shown time and again how little respect so many of you have for Kara. Most of the time it’s because of poor baby Lena, so misunderstood with her mind control and human experimentation and torturing Kara with kryptonite.

I watch a lot of reaction channels. Probably too many. While some were sympathetic towards Kara when she told Lena enough is enough, a lot of them got angry at Kara for daring to call Lena out on her bullshit. I mean, when Kara said if Lena continues to act like a villain then she will be treated like one, a large chunk of them just turned on Kara for daring to hold their Queen accountable for her shitty actions.

Call me crazy, but I want something good for Kara. I want her to focus on herself and what she wants. If what she wants is William then I’m behind her completely, if she discovers she wants something completely different then I’m still right there with her.

This show is called Supergirl, not Lena Luthor, but so many of you treat Kara like her entire existence is there to fit whatever agenda you’re trying to push, and every single time she operates outside of your fantasies you tear her down.

And William hasn’t done nearly enough to earn so much hostility. For the vast majority of his screentime this whole season he has been a pretty good guy, and his reasons for keeping Kara at a distance at first made a lot of sense. People reaching to him being mean a few times as an excuse to give him shit are so laser-focused on such a minor, stupid thing that they use it to define his entire character.

Meanwhile, Lena can get away with FAR worse shit and have people in this fandom practically bend over backward trying to justify it. It’s extremely disingenuous.

This fandom’s constant need to demonize every male character on this show that even gets close to Lena or Kara is disturbing. I mean, they were still giving James Olsen shit for not trusting Lena for one episode in season 2. They were so desperate to demonize him that they completely ignored every single time he had her back after that, including taking a fucking bullet for her. And unlike Kara, he can actually be killed by one, so it’s much more significant when he does it.

You know what? I’m fairly indifferent to the growing relationship between Kara and William. 99% of my focus is on Kara doing something good for herself. That may change with time, because, and for some reason a lot of idiots are missing this very simple fact, Kara and William are not a couple yet. They’re going to see where this takes them. They’re not in a committed relationship, they haven’t done anything even remotely intimate yet.

You people keep acting like this is being rushed but nothing has happened yet. Literally nothing has been rushed. We’re 14 episodes into this season and they only just got to the “Let’s go on a date and see what happens” phase.

Just for the record, every single relationship on this has happened faster than Kara and William. Is Maggie and Alex’s relationship now less significant because it happened a lot faster? How about Kara and Mon-El? Alex and Kelly? Lena and James? Brainy and Nia?

The show rushes every relationship out there, and Kara and William are the least rushed, so using that as yet more ammo against them is kinda stupid.

I am just...so tired of this fandom’s selective memory and outrage. So many of you get almost psychotically angry at the dumbest shit. You treat people like garbage but still expect to get what you want. You bully actors, you misread things intentionally and then get angry when the show exists in spite of the fantasy you built up, and you have double standards for EVERYTHING.

I mean come on, Lena can experiment on human beings and you will excuse her for it, but if someone acts a little mean, and by sheer coincidence, he happens to be a man, you will tear him down for that for YEARS. But Lena Luthor gets a free pass on everything.

You know what, after watching this fandom go to shit over the last five years, I absolutely understand why most of the actors on this show barely interact with anyone anymore. I can understand why the writers ignore you at every turn. I can understand why Melissa and Chris turned off comments for both their engagement and baby announcements.

And just because it’s not plainly obvious to the professionally offended, if you don’t participate in this toxic behavior then I’m not talking about you anywhere in this. In a world where people didn’t look for excuses to be offended by people, I wouldn’t need to make this obvious statement, but if I don’t put down a disclaimer somewhere I will get one of those stupid comments about how I’m unfairly judging those who don’t do any of this. This entire fucking rant is one big qualifier, genius. If you don’t fit in then I’m obviously not talking about you.

#supergirl #kara danvers #kara zor el #william dey #mon-el #james olsen

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regcreates · 4 years

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The Center of Philippine Hollywood: Lilia Cuntapay

Based on Six Degrees of Separation from Lilia Cuntapay

INTRODUCTION

An underrated, unappreciated, plain housewife and actress that is none other than Lilia Cuntapay. It was in this film that she portrayed her life and talent that amounted to her success that was only in her later years in life where she was given recognition. Six degrees of separation from Lilia Cuntapay was a film not only nominated by countless awards but it was a glorious time where it was proven how she truly deserved it. From director and writer Antoinette Jadaone who was able to rediscover Lilia Cuntapay, while conveying a message towards the film industry and its audience about the life of an extra.

BODY

Perceived Meanings

A. Referential

Lila Cuntapay, an old actress whose roles in every part of a film mostly portrayed those of horror characters as this was seen to be fitting due to her appearance, that despite living in poverty she was determined to work hard in doing what she loved and was looking forward to being hired to more films, as she longed to be awarded the title “Best Supporting Actress” from her previous film at that time “Sangandaan” in the 16th AFTAP Awards.

B. Explicit

An old actress whose struggles were seen depicted in her life as she always played an extra in the film’s she has worked on, passionate, responsible, and determined as she finally gains recognition and awards she’s been longing for the past 30 years in the film industry.

C. Implicit

An old actress whose career was sustained as she worked for as long as 30 years, always thriving and never giving up to the idea that someday she will finally be able to earn an award as a form of recognition and belonging-ness to the film industry and to her co-actors and peers.

D. Symptomatic

In the film industry, actors and actresses alike must value the idea of being passionate, patient, and hard working to pursue their dreams or ultimate goal of being nominated, recognized, and/or awarded. The documentary, Six degrees of Separation from Lilia Cuntapay, not only shows the reality and struggles when being an actor in the creation of an on going film, but it also depicts the nature of what it’s like to be a part of it. The struggles are real, and it is in that time where our own being is put to the test, for whether or not we can handle all the pressure and what it means to be a part of that film.

Film Criteria

A. Realistic

The documentary, Six degrees of Separation from Lilia Cuntapay, showcases the reality of the struggles actors and actresses experience especially those who were treated indifferently. Those who are not as big as celebrities and have to work an extra mile, are misunderstood, unrecognized and and unappreciated. These are the times that you either have to “go big or go home”, because of the pressure brought by the film industry. It is a harsh and sad reality the way it comes and goes inside the works of each film and while being a part of it as a lead role or as an extra. All the time you’ll spend, the waiting, the mistreatment, or not enough pay are seen as one of the struggles they go through each time. And although Lilia Cuntapay faces exactly the same situation, it did not lead her to doubt herself and talent to strive better, work harder, become more patient and stay professional in her line of work.

B. Moral

While watching the documentary, I realized there were a lot of moral values you can learn from some of the scenes in the movie. There were also several lines that she quoted by herself, that really got me hooked and I think as part of the creative arts industry, I may be able to learn a thing or two and take her as a role model because of the kind of mindset she partakes.

Patience

“Life is not for the impatient, waiting is part of being human.” This quote by Lila Cuntapay really struck me especially as I watched the scene where the call time was set at 6 am, and she arrived so early, even before everyone else came. All day she was determined to wait for her part, practicing her lines even though they were short, and not once did she complain. It showed here her patience and professionalism when it comes to work, no matter the role. And even after waiting for the fact that she was only replaced by another old woman, because the director did not want to use her face as he was familiar that they use her for horror movies, it was then shown how she was hurt from that time, and went home feeling sad. A glimpse of the scene where her fantasy speech is shown every now and then, it was only there that she said “idiot” as a means of frustration she felt at that time. No matter how she felt, she still remained patient that one day her hard work pays off.

Confidence

Her confidence is off the charts, especially the way she delivers herself. There were a lot of cases in the movie where she remained hopeful and her hope gave her all the confidence she needed to keep on working. She was confident but she stayed humble, allowing herself to immerse on the character she was playing but never went overboard. It is definitely the same confidence I want to achieve as I learn from her.

Generosity

As she was kind, patient, and confident, she was also generous. Every chance she gets, every opportunity that comes her way that offers money in the roles she plays in each film, she uses it to help others, but as generous as she is, not everything goes back to her, but it is within her big heart that makes her happy seeing others happy.

C. Coherence

There were two sides of the film, her reality and her imagination. Her reality showed how she went through her daily routine and her way of dealing with her career. Especially ever since she was nominated as Best Supporting Actress, it appears to be showing her getting ready for her speech, and other days where she goes to casting calls. The other side of the film shows her imagination and the way she is going to deliver her speech in different scenarios relating to her life. There were times she was happy in her “fantasy speech”, times where she’s gone speechless, or those times, she is just plain lost, with the way she was going to handle it. I think for me, it all made sense the way they produced the film, to show two different sides of her life and the thoughts going through her head or how her mind world basically.

D. Complexity

If I were to be honest, I usually do not watch these kinds of films, and so I was doubting it at first, but seeing the introduction of the film made it kind of interesting, because I was already familiar with the face but not the name. And so as I continued watching the film, it was simple and straightforward. It was not too complex that you get lost in the synchronization of the different scenarios showcased in the documentary. It sure was a perfect blend, of the way the emotions brought by her life in the film captured my heart and mind.

E. Originality

Six degrees of Separation from Lilia Cuntapay, caught my attention all throughout the documentary, it was a so-called “mockumentary” dedicated to a very underrated person, Lilia Cuntapay that some might not even heard of yet. I think the film’s originality comes from the twists and turns of how her life came to be. For me, it is not a very common topic or theme for a movie during those times, and that’s what makes it so interesting. Who ever thought to make a movie of the life of an extra? Along with the added imaginations brought by her reality was produced and showcased very well that made the film worthy of recognition overall.

Conclusion

Overall, I personally rate this film a 10/10, as I am happy it was recommended to me I’ll be happier to recommend this to anyone who is looking for a film that’s unlike most documentaries created nowadays. Not only was I able to analyze the structure of the film, but the realness that comes with Lilia Cuntapay’s outstanding perfromance and how she portrayed her life was so genuine and heartfelt, it brought me to tears. I am proud that she was able to achieve her ultimate goal as an actress, and I’m willing to take everything I learned from this documentary as an example to always strive to be a better version of ourselves , especially as part of the creative industry.

#lilia cuntapay #six degrees of separation #film analysis #filmlanguage

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eisforeidolon · 5 years

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Episode: Ouroboros

Ouroboros is a fitting title for this episode. Not because it has a snake-creature. Not because of the symbolism of unity or the cycle of life and death. No, in the sense that it's such a clear, contained example of how Dabbernatural is eating itself to death through the writers' absolute incompetence at telling a compelling, coherent story. Or perhaps it’s in the sense of being a never-ending circle of making the same exact mistake over again: Supernatural is the Winchesters' story; making them incompetent fools to highlight your nonentity OCs is always going to read badly to a large portion of your audience.

It starts out okay. The previously seems really overlong here and I do have to wonder if they think our memories of what’s previously happened are as shit as theirs. The episode itself, however, begins well enough with a mysterious cold open involving a MotW who has really creepy new powers. Okay, cool!

Except instead of actually being hunted by Sam and Dean, literally everybody is along on this fucking hunt. Remember when Sam and Dean were allowed to be competent enough to track and kill a MotW themselves, because the writers knew they were meant to be clever, resourceful, and good at their job? Best hunters in the world? LOL.

Now not only do they have to drag Castiel and Jack along, fucking Rowena has joined the Hunters R Us club. Like, I love Rowena, but COME ON. Which doesn't even address how later in the episode, Sam can't even do his own fucking research – they call it out to fucking Maggie! Then Sam & Dean and Jack & Cas ALL get their asses absolutely handed to them … by some random one off MotW that we're not told any reason to expect has major fighting skills. Unlike all the things they've beaten which literally did. COME THE FUCK ON.

What do the Winchesters actually get to accomplish in this episode of their own goddamn show other than exist onscreen to con us into watching the Dabbernatural Gary Stu drama hour?

Blah blah blah, interlude of characters reminding us about Dean having Michael in his head interspersed with oh no, poor sad beige woobie still has magic consumption. [Insert totes concerned hand-wringing here, or don't, because LOL, so over it.] The most charitable thing I can say about it is that presumably Dean talks to Castiel about the box plan again here because Castiel will actually go through with it, unlike Sam.

Also, I'm not a vet or any kind of medical professional, but when they needed to get some antivenom, my immediate thought was, “Wait, what kind?” I figured maybe I was wrong because surely the writers would do the bare minimum of research, but apparently not, as Wikipedia does seem to corroborate that “the specific antivenom needed depends on the species involved”. Pretty sure that their local vet's office doesn't have Gorgon antivenom. Even if Rowena’s magic is involved, if she can just make it magically the right thing, why on Earth would they actually even need any kind of antivenom in the first place? Or not at least talk about getting a specific kind so it doesn’t look like they’ve got no idea what they’re on about? As such, I can’t see this as anything but the writers yet again not bothering to put in the basic minimum of care to explain how this thing that obviously shouldn't work will now work for reasons.

I did genuinely like Sam and Rowena's playacting in the vet office, that was great! Even Jack getting turned into a dog to lift the non-magical magical cure-all antivenom was fun. As well as Rowena chiding Sam about how what they're doing with Jack is doing exactly what she would – as she was until recently a villain. (Although again, putting aside why, if Rowena is their fucking hunting buddy buddy now, why exactly they aren't telling her what's up with Jack. Seriously, why?) Unsurprising that what I think actually works briefly in this episode is the character interactions powered by the skill and charisma of the actors, not anything the writers are doing.

Which brings us back to what Dabb didn't learn from Wayward: making the Winchesters (and Cas) entirely incompetent and helpless to facilitate ludicrously endowed super!kids like Jack stealing the show is insulting enough when it happens with the Gorgon, but it is straight out infuriating as the end of the whole AU!Michael arc. Seriously, I do not get this fetish of his.

Before getting more into that, as an aside, does it matter if Cas can breathe? I don't mean that in a “Die, Cas, die!” way, either. I mean, he's literally an angel in a human suit, even if he's paralyzed by the thing's venom (which I'll accept that the creature can't see him but its venom still works on him because the body is more or less human {sort of, considering it's been turned into a specially constructed vessel made to break all the angel rules for reasons [to not have a supposed good guy holding a human soul permanently hostage and that whole dumb special-vessels-lol-what Lucifer interlude]}) does it really matter? Especially in that moment? Like, if he's angel enough that the monster can't see him, he should be angel enough that mundane damage to a vessel should be nothing more than an inconvenience. Castiel is exactly as human or angels as the writers need in at any given second.

Speaking of which - Jack freaking out over it is another instance where he's dumb as an infant or competent as a trained adult from second-to-fucking-second to facilitate what passes for a plot, because Dabb & Co. apparently got bored and decided they'd rather go back to another round of What's Wrong With Jack, You Should Totally Care! rather than actually write a coherent story around AU!Michael. This infant/adult thing comes up again during the conversation with Cas about humans ultimately dying where Jack suddenly doesn't get death. Even though we had that whole. long. thing. about Jack wanting to know about his mother and talking to that therapist and her parents about her and seeing her in heaven? Yet now we're back to LOL what is death?? Maybe angels or part angels are literally incapable of learning anything. It would explain a lot about both Jack and Cas in recent years.

Also, I take back the points I mentally rewarded at the beginning of the episode for actually involving a new monster taken from mythology. It was at this point when we see that Jack kept the snake that I recalled spoilers about what happens to it and I became suspicious that literally the only reason they went to the trouble was to give Jack a pet that wasn’t cuddly enough that the audience would turn on him if he does something to it. I don’t mind planning ahead, but when the monster hunt was such a manufactured clusterfuck of stupid and the ultimate purpose of it seems this transparent? Sigh.

Oh noes, what if Dean doesn't wake up!? Well, for one thing, he'd be spared continuing to exist in this shitty parody of the SPN universe, so, I'm kinda thinking that might actually be a win...

Speaking of the writers just railroading the characters in random directions to get wherever they want to go regardless? Cas's ability to heal is useless again, because of course it is. Somehow a physical head wound is complicated by archangel possession, because sure, why the fuck not? Remember when angel powers weren't a fucking joke, as useful as a knife without the blade? Honestly, I might even accept that another angel was unable to do anything to a human who was playing vessel to a different angel if this wasn’t just one more in a string of so. fucking. many. instances of angel powers transparently and ludicrously existing or not exactly where the “plot” decrees they do.

Likewise, Rowena, the totally most powerful witch ever? Shrug, she can do nothing. Except, it turns out, get handed an idiot ball to make this railroading keep going on the same dumb track. Welcome to the club, Rowena, enjoy being half as competent as ever you were (or less!) now that you're an ally. Again, vessel rules? What vessel rules? Any old archangel can just pop into any old person they want to, don'tchaknow? Not to mention how goddamn fucking stupid Rowena would have to be to let Michael in so he “doesn't harm anyone in the bunker”. Are you fucking kidding me? The only thing letting him possess her is going to do is give him immediate faster access inside the bunker without any chance to prepare for his attempting to kill all the people he definitely intends to kill. Not to mention that they turned Rowena from completely self-involved to brainlessly selfless in this episode, suddenly, because because as if nothing exists in-between. This literally happens because the show decided it was bored and uninterested in Michael after half-heartedly playing with the character for half a season so it chopped everyone's brains out, including their own, to make him go away. I just cannot see any other explanation for Rowena both being that dead stupid and conveniently being able to house Michael.

The only worthwhile thing in this episode is the good riddance to bad rubbish of all the AU!hunters in the bunker finally getting wiped out. That the show actually expects me to be in any way upset by a bunch of people who don't even fucking have names and just keep milling around in the background taking up space biting it? Aside, from, of course, another Dabbernatural-style cardboard sue like Maggie who went from not even knowing how to hold a weapon to being the goddamn leader in a handful of episodes? Presumably because the Winchesters are? Yeah, no.

Even though when he actually had his powers it wasn't a foregone conclusion that Jack could effectively take on Michael? Now that Jack doesn't have his powers, suddenly he can burn up his soul and just completely overpower Michael with the total McGuffiness of his existence for reasons. If doing that is so powerful, and we’re stuck with this retcon about divisible souls, why can’t any old angel just burn out their vessel’s soul to get super-powered magic? If the powers that any individual or item has have no logical consistency, and every new idea that pops into what passes for the writer’s brains is introduced as TEH MOST POWERFUL EVAH? No conflict over supernatural powers in this show can have any legitimate narrative weight. If the audience can’t adequately gauge the threat, it all becomes a muddle of random events that happen rather than a coherent story we can actually invest in caring about.

Look, I’m not saying that no Supernatural plot before the current era was resolved by McGuffins or random powers. The issue here is the general issue with their use in Dabb’s era. Jack doesn't have to work for it. He doesn't have to figure out some complicated way to boost his powers to make it work against the most powerful archangel. There’s no buildup for us to invest in. There’s no sense of the characters actually working at an obstacle and earning a victory. He's just suddenly handed this level of power to make it happen right now, at this arbitrary moment, because the show decided it was done with this arc now and could not be fucking bothered. It makes no sense with anything we’ve been shown about the characters' powers, it makes no sense for the story actually feeling like the characters are meaningfully accomplishing anything by their legitimate merits. It sure as fuck makes no sense for the lore. That whole thing with Billy's books they've been harping on and on about as TEH ONLY WAY? Which Rowena even calls back to this episode? Nah, nevermind, tossed out the fucking window without even a goddamn handwave.

Seriously, the Michael arc is not resolved here because the Winchesters outsmarted destiny again, or that they found some way to cleverly subvert it. It’s not even that they worked to find a solution and finally the work paid off by them coming across something suspiciously perfect. It’s that they waffled around for several episodes being dramatic and making literally no progress until Dabb & Co. arbitrarily and literally handed the power to end the arc to their pet joke fake!Winchester “son” because they did not care. And yet they expect us in the audience to continue to care, even though I can not think of any other development in any other professional media I have ever consumed that was as unsatisfying and honestly infuriating as this pile of haphazard bullshit.

#negativity for ts #anti dabb #writer incompetence #what the fuck even was this episode?#long post #spn 14x14 #spn season 14

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the-desolated-quill · 5 years

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Quill’s Swill - The Worst Of 2018

Congratulations dear reader. You survived 2018. And you know what that means. It’s time for another best of/worst of list. Welcome to Quill’s Swill 2018. A giant septic tank for the various shit the entertainment industry produced over the course of the year. The films, games, TV shows and various other media that got on my bad side. As always please bear in mind that this is only my subjective opinion (if you happen to like any of the things on this list, good for you. I’m glad someone did) and that obviously I haven’t seen everything 2018 has to offer for one reason or another. In other words, sorry that Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes Of Grindelwald isn’t on here. I’m sure it is as terrible as some have been suggesting. I just never got around to watching it.

Okay everyone. Grab your breathing masks and put on your rubber gloves. Let’s dive into this shit pile.

Hold The Sunset

The news that John Cleese would be returning to the world of BBC sitcoms was incredibly exciting, being a massive Fawlty Towers fan and all. Unfortunately Hold The Sunset was not quite what I had in mind. It’s one of those rare breed of situation comedies that chooses to offer no actual comedy. It’s not a sitcom. It’s a sit. Like Scrubs or The Big Bang Theory.

An elderly couple plan to elope abroad only for Alison Steadman’s son to barge in, having left his wife, and forcing them to put their plans on hold. Hence the title ‘Hold The Sunset.’ It’s like a cross between As Time Goes By and Sorry, but if all the humour and relatability were surgically removed by a deadpan mortician. The characters are weak, the plots are thin on the ground and the humour (hat little of it there is) feel incredibly dated. The middle aged mummy’s boy is something that hasn’t been funny since the 90s. It’s an utter waste of great talent and what hurts even more is that this tripe is actually getting a second series. I can only assume the people watching this are comatose. Either that or there’s an epidemic of people in Britain who have lost the remote.

Avengers: Infinity War

Yes this is one of the worst movies of 2018 and no I don’t regret saying that one little bit. Avengers: Infinity War was fucking terrible. Period. There were too many plots and characters going on, which made the film hard to follow (and what staggers me is that the so called ‘professional’ critics have condemned movies for having too many characters and plots before. Spider-Man 3, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Batman vs Superman: Dawn Of Justice and even Deadpool 2. But because this is an MCU movie, it gets a free pass. Fuck off). The characterisation was weak due to sheer number of characters they try to juggle, resulting in characters coming off as one dimensional caricatures of themselves and scenes where characters such as Iron Man, Doctor Strange and Star-Lord sound completely interchangeable. The villain, Thanos, is a stupidly and poorly written villain, but that’s hardly surprising considering what a shit job Marvel have done building him up over the course of these 20+ movies. And let’s not forget that pisstake ending. A bunch of prominent Marvel characters die and it’s all very, very sad... except all these characters just so happen to have sequels planned, which makes this ending fucking pointless and have less impact than a feather on a bouncy castle.

I don’t know which is more shocking. That Marvel and Disney think their audience are that stupid and gullible, or that their audience are actually validating their view. Fuck you Disney.

Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery

I’ve always wanted a Harry Potter RPG, where you could customise your character, choose your house and actually live a full school life at Hogwarts. This year, Warner Bros and Jam City gave us just that.

That was a mistake.

Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery is the epitome of everything that’s wrong with the mobile gaming market right now. The gameplay is boring and involving where you just tap images on a screen until a progress bar fills up. Wizard duels are little more than rock-paper-scissors challenges that require no kind of skill. Bonding with friends and caring for magical creatures just consist of pathetically simple pop quizzes and yet more boring tapping. Oh and of course you only get a certain amount of energy to complete these tedious tasks. If you run out of energy, you wait for it to fill up... or pay up for the privilege. So determined are they to extract your hard earned cash from your wallet, there’s actually a bit where Devil’s Snare strangles your eleven year old avatar and the game effectively tries to guilt trip you into paying micro-transactions to save them. It’s sleazy, gross and manipulative. Honestly, you’re better off just playing Candy Crush.

Agony

When the developers of this game said they wanted to give the player a trip through Hell, they had no idea how true that statement really was. Agony is dreadful on a number of levels. The design for Hell itself, while visually interesting at times, is often not very practical and gets quite dull and repetitive after a while. The stealth mechanics are a joke and the AI of your demonic enemies are pitiful. All of this alone would have been enough to put this game on the list, but then we also have the casual misogyny. Agony is a gorefest trying desperately to shock the player. We see men and woman get tortured, but it’s the women that often get the extreme end. The violence inflicted on them is often sexual in nature and the game seems to go out of its way to degrade and dehumanise women at every turn. The orgasmic cries of ‘pull it out’ quickly become a staple of the game’s experience as we see naked women raped, tortured and murdered, all for the purposes of ‘entertainment.’

I would call Agony sexist, but honestly that would be giving it too much credit. Agony is like a little child trying desperately to be all dark and edgy in a pathetic attempt to impress everyone around him, and we should treat it as such. Go to your room Agony. No ice cream for you.

Peter Rabbit

If you listen closely, you can hear the sound of Beatrix Potter rotating in her grave.

Yes we have yet another live action/CGI hybrid, but instead of something innocuous like the Smurfs or Alvin and the Chipmunks, Sony instead decides to adapt Peter Rabbit, with James Corden in the title role.

It’s about as bad as you’d expect.

Their attempts to modernise the story are painful to say the least with pop culture references, inappropriate adult humour and twerking rabbits. Plus rather than the gentle, but slightly mischievous character we got in the source material, here Peter is a sociopathic delinquent who seems to revel in making the farmer’s life a living hell. He’s unlikable and unwatchable as far as I’m concerned and the film doesn’t in anyway earn the emotional moments it tries so desperately to sell to the audience. And the worst part is it’s getting a sequel.

Wait. Do you hear that sound? That’s the sound of Beatrix Potter tearing out of the ground, ready to kill whatever idiot came up with this shit.

Fallout 76

I was excited for Fallout 76. A MMORPG where players band together to rebuild society after a nuclear apocalypse. Could have been great. Pity it wasn’t.

Fallout 76 is a dreadful game. Not only is it a buggy, glitchy mess that requires a constant online connection to play, which could result in you losing hours of progress if your WiFi went down, it’s also unbelievably tedious, and that’s because there’s nothing to do in the game. There’s no other characters to interact with, the various robots and computers you come across are really little more than quest givers, there’s no actual plot so to speak, and because of the sheer size of the world and the number of players allowed on a server, the chances of you actually meeting any actual players is remote. And let’s not forget all the behind the scenes drama. Bethesda falsely advertising Fallout themed canvas bags and players getting shitty nylon ones. Bethesda accidentally releasing the account information of various players trying to get a refund for said bag. Bethesda failing to program the year 2019 into the game code, meaning that the game’s nukes don’t work.

Maybe there’s a chance that Bethesda could pull a No Man’s Sky and fix everything over the coming years with various patches and DLCs, but the damage has already been done. It’s incredibly disappointing. The Elder Scrolls 6 is going to have be fucking incredible to win everyone back.

Mama Mia!: Here We Go Again

I can’t stand jukebox musicals anyway, but Mamma Mia was always one of the worst. Its boring, meandering story with its one note, obnoxious cast of characters screeching out ABBA songs like they’re at some drunken karaoke session at some poor sod’s hen party has always grated on my nerves. So imagine my delight when they announced we were getting a sequel. Ever wondered how Meryl Streep met her three lovers and founded her hotel? No? Well tough shit, we’re going to tell you anyway.

Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again is basically just Mamma Mia again. The actors still can’t sing, the characters are still annoying and story is still boring and meandering, completely at the mercy of the chosen songs rather than the filmmakers using the songs to compliment the story (you know? Like proper musicals do?).

How can I resist you? Very easily as it turns out. Gimme, gimme, gimme a fucking gun so I can end my misery.

The Cloverfield Paradox

A lot of people were unhappy about the direction Cloverfield was going. They wanted a continuation of the found footage, kaiju movie from 2008, not an anthology series. I was personally all in favour. Partially because I thought the first Cloverfield was a tad overrated, but mostly because I thought it would be a great opportunity for more experimental film projects and could be a great launchpad for new writers and filmmakers. 10 Cloverfield Lane was a great start. Then The Cloverfield Paradox happened.

The Cloverfield Paradox is basically JJ Abrams trying to have his cake and eat it too. Maintaining the anthology format whilst connecting everything together in a ‘shared universe’ (yes, yet another shared universe). The result was a cliched, poorly edited and idiotic mess of a film that actually took away from the previous two films rather than added to them. Everyone hated it and, as a result, 2018′s Overlord, which was totes going to be part of the Cloververse, was made its own standalone film and Abrams double pinky promised to make a true sequel to the original Cloverfield. A complete and total disaster. No wonder it was a straight-to-Netflix film.

The Handmaid’s Tale - Season 2

This is probably going to be the most controversial entry on the list, but please hear me out because I’m not the only one who has a problem with this season.

I was reluctant to watch The Handmaid’s Tale simply because of how gruesome the original book was, but I forced myself to watch the first season and I thought it was pretty good. It remained faithful to the source material for the most part and included some nice additions that helped to expand the story and mythos. If it was just a one off mini-series, everything would have been fine. But then they made the same mistake as The Man In The High Castle and Under The Dome did where they commissioned another season and attempted to tell a story that goes beyond the book.

There’s a reason why the original story ended where it did. The Handmaid’s Tale isn’t meant to be an empowering story about women sticking it to the patriarchy. It’s a cautionary tale about how fragile our civil rights truly are and how easily they can be taken away from us. It’s designed to shock, not to satisfy. So seeing a handmaid blow herself up in a suicide bombing feels very incongruous and just a little bit silly. It would be like doing a TV adaptation of George Orwell’s 1984 where the first season followed the source material and then the second season turned Winston Smith into this heroic freedom fighter trying to overthrow Big Brother. It would represent a fundamental misunderstanding of what the book was about in the first place.

And then of course there’s the increased level of violence in Season 2, which many have complained about. In Season 1 and the original source material, the violence was justified. In Season 2, the motivation behind the violence has gone from ‘how can we effectively demonstrate how easily a fascist patriarchy can happen in the West?’ to ‘what brutal act can we inflict upon Ofglen to shock the audience this week?’ It’s purely for shock and nothing more. And with the showrunner (who I feel I should mention is a man) announcing that he has planned ten seasons of this, it seems that The Handmaid’s Tale is going to go even further with this depravity until it effectively becomes the equivalent of a Saw film.

The Handmaid’s Tale exists as a way of shining light on and critiquing misogyny in its most extreme form. Season 2 however demonstrates that there is a serious risk of it becoming the very thing it’s criticising in the first place.

The Predator

I love the Predator franchise, but The Predator is the worst.

People thought that this would be good because director Shane Black had actually starred in the first Predator movie back in 1987. Instead we got this bloated, confusing, obnoxious and insulting mess of a film that seems to go out of its way to ruin everything that makes Predator so good. There’s no tension. No suspense. No intrigue. Just a bunch of gore, explosions and shitty one liners from annoying and lifeless characters. They essentially took this big alien game hunter from outer space and turned him into a generic monster from a bad summer blockbuster. It no longer hunts for sport. It wants to take over the world and splice our DNA with theirs. But don’t worry, a rogue Predator doesn’t want to kill humans (even though he himself kills a bunch of humans), so he gives us a Predator Iron Man suit to set up a sequel that will probably never happen because this movie was a box office bomb and it fucking SUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKEEEEEDDDD!!!

This film also has a very nasty streak towards those with disabilities. There’s a lot of jokes at the expense of a character with Tourette’s and it has an extremely ignorant and patronising view of autism, portraying the main character’s kid as being a super genius who can decipher the Predator language and even going so far as to say that he represents ‘the next stage of human evolution.’ Presumably the Predators want social communication difficulties because apparently it helps them hunt somehow.

What with Disney acquiring 20th Century Fox, the future of both the Alien and Predator franchises were very much in question. This film needed to be a success in order to make a case for Disney to keep making more of them. It wasn’t. Congratulations Shane Black. You might have just killed off this franchise for good. Thanks arsehole! :D

So those were my least favourite stories from 2018. Join me on Wednesday where we shall discuss something more positive. Yes, it’s awards season. Who shall win the coveted Quill Seal Of Approval? Watch this space...

Or don’t. It’s up to you. I don’t want to force you or anything. It’s a free country.

#quill's swill #quill's swill 2018 #worst of the year #review #opinion

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theliterateape · 4 years

Text

Hope Idiotic | Part 21

By David Himmel

Hope Idiotic is a serialized novel. Catch each new part every week on Monday and Thursday.

AT THAT MOMENT, LOU HAD $8,500 TO HIS NAME. Give or take the few bucks from his unemployment checks that would be left after trying to pay his credit card bills. Looking at the statement, it felt good having all of that money staring back at him. He didn’t want to ever spend it. But it was already as good as gone.

The day after he and Michelle returned from their cruise, he booked a reservation at Ginger & Homestead, the city’s hottest restaurant �� Asian–farm-fresh fusion. And although his gut was wrapping itself in knots and my words to him about freedom were still clanging in his head, Lou drove to Goldberg Jewelers in Skokie and spent $8,064 on Michelle’s engagement ring.

“Congratulations,” said Art, shaking Lou’s hand.

“Thanks.”

In the parking lot by his car, Lou threw up.

After performing on the cruise, Lou was certain that he wanted to get back into stand-up comedy. And he was even more certain that he wanted to write for a living, not teach. Over the phone, Chuck was supportive.

“I’m not sure how Michelle is going to take it,” Lou said. “The planets need to be perfectly aligned for her to be supportive sometimes.”

“Wait until you propose, then tell her. She’ll be so happy that she’s getting married that she won’t care one bit about your stupid career.”

“Oh, no. No, she’ll see through that real quick.”

Michelle wasn’t jumping up and down with excitement when he told her his plans to stay true to his intended mission, but she must have found it pointless to argue. Maybe she sensed the commitment in his voice. Maybe she recognized that his small victory at sea was just the fuel he needed to make all of his — and their — dreams happen.

Since no company would hire Lou, he decided that it would be best to become his own company. He spent hours every day researching the freelance-writing business. He wanted to do more than just review restaurants and bars for shit money, he wanted to build a career as a one-stop-shop writer for hire. By incorporating all of his experiences with writing and marketing and broadcasting and advertising, he created a personal brand that he thought would be approachable and beneficial to small businesses.

Companies like to fire the creatives first when things get rough. But it’s those creatives that are needed to rebuild and communicate those companies’ offerings. Lou would be that creative. And as a contractor, the companies didn’t have to make any long-term financial commitments, which made the need for someone of Lou’s skill set easier for the company accountant to justify.

Also in his favor was that a recession is the time when most new businesses start up. Cast-aside workers start looking for a reason to get out of bed in the morning and a paycheck to afford their habits and one-time spoils. Frustrated with the current climate that ruined their plans for early retirement, they become the thinking and thrumming power of economic change. They have seen what doesn’t work and aim to improve their situation and everyone else’s through innovation and out-of-the-box thinking. Those are the very words and phrases that can quickly become the marketing buzz, hype and then the norm. And so begins again the productive economic cycle.

There were a lot of laid-off writers fishing the murky waters of The Great Recession for work. And what they had in already established relationships, Lou made up for by being able to charge next to nothing for his services. He was more desperate than anyone else could have been. His ego had long since been snuffed out. All he needed was the contacts. Work begets work. Just one would be enough. Just one.

✶

HE MET MARK CAVANAUGH AT AN OPEN MIC IN THE BASEMENT OF A LINCOLN PARK BAR. Mark was a good comic—the perfect mixture of immaturity and sentimentality. He referred to his sets as being “dick-and-fart jokes for smart people.” Comedy was a passion. He had been training with the Improv Studio for a while, and having completed the acting classes, he was now in the writing program. Mark had everything needed to make it big on whichever coast he would eventually end up. He was tall and good-looking. He had an ironclad work ethic along with charm and wit to spare.

His background was perfect Americana: He grew up in a small town in central Illinois, where he helped his dad on the farm harvesting No. 2 yellow corn and tending to a small collection of livestock. His boyhood pet was a cow named Harriet. He didn’t have a lot of friends growing up because there weren’t any kids around to be friends with, so he spent a lot of time walking his family’s acreage with Harriet, daydreaming about growing up and becoming a famous boy. He went to college at Illinois University where he was his fraternity’s president. He got laid for the first time when he was 20. He graduated with a marketing degree. He moved to Chicago where he earned his MBA at the Moorehouse School of Business at Chicago University. He could have run for president of the United States on that background. And won.

He had his own website and a blog that people actually read and found funny, or so the comments said. And unlike nearly every other would-be and wannabe comedian/actor in Chicago, Mark wasn’t broke. He had a great day job as the midwest marketing director at Simms Laboratories, which allowed him to bring home about $90,000 annually. Mark Cavanaugh was a god—impervious to the market and bad luck.

Mark and Lou became fast friends. They were fascinated by each other’s stories, and their individual comedic styles worked well together.

“We should write something,” Mark said at an open mic on the city’s North Side.

“Like what?” Lou asked.

“A sketch show. Something we can pitch to Improv Studio. There’s that smaller stage, the Balcony. They’ll take amateur stuff.”

“I’m a professional, buddy.”

“Not yet you’re not.”

“Fair enough. But I could bang out a dozen scenes about this recession in my sleep.”

“Funny ones?”

“Probably not. But it’ll be a start. Yeah, let’s write a show about the recession. Call it The Greatest Recession Ever!.”

“Love it.” Mark finished the dregs in his pint of beer. “We’re going to be fucking stars.”

“As long as it pays.”

Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V Part VI Part VII Part VIII Part IX Part X Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20

#Fiction #Chicago Fiction #David Himmel Author #Hope Idiotic #David Himmel Novel #David Himmel Fiction #Bildungsroman #Dark Humor

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