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#the whole 'lose half your soul thing' proves she's self aware!! like they know what they're doing is super dubious yknow! but they're still
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5 Simple Ways to Change Your Life With The Law Of Attraction (Learn This)
Johanna, a college student from Kuala Lumpur, had been struggling to finish her studies.
She was living in a dorm with other students and had trouble making ends meet.
Johanna was on a scholarship which meant she needed to keep her grades high while working part-time to support her living expenses.
Strapped for time and resources, she barely got by and started feeling burnt out. If Johanna wasn't hitting the books, she was working.
Everything started to become a blur and she was losing motivation to keep going.
It got so bad that Johanna even thought about telling her parents she couldn't do it anymore and drop out of college.
But then a classmate from her philosophy class introduced her to the Law of Attraction.
Jacques, a foreign exchange student from Canada, had been reading up on it and applied it in his own life.
According to him, it had helped him manifest a solution to his own problems.
He had lived in an abusive home growing up, and Jacques learned how to shift his thinking and perspective to change his circumstances.
Johanna wasn't sure at first what to make of it, but she took Jacques's word for it and started applying its principles in her own life.
Click Here To Discover the Lazy Person's Secret To Get Everything You've Ever Wished For <= [Link this text via your affiliate link]
After she made a shift in her own mindset and attitude, Johanna started to experience some positive changes.
She eventually quit her part-time job and found another one with better pay and hours which helped with her living expenses.
It also helped free up her time, so she managed to study AND start a side income project selling items online.
Johanna ended up growing her side business so much that she got Jacques to help her manage it.
By the end of the academic year, she had turned into a completely different person.
Johanna was no longer a depressed, burned-out student from before. She had become a self-sufficient student and even made the dean's list!
The Power of Changing Your Focus
Sometimes, we get so discouraged that we feel powerless to change our situation.
Like Johanna, we fall into a FIXED mindset where we think things will stay the same and we can't do anything about it.
But the only way to break out of this negative spiral is by changing your INNER world.
This is the key to influencing your external world so you can move forward in life.
In a nutshell, the Law of Attraction is a way of living that requires you to change your frequency.
When you do this, the Universe will pick up your signal and your life will change for the better.
As for the frequency I mentioned, this is basically the vibration of energy that your mind gives off.
You can either operate at a high or low vibration, and each type will give you a specific result.
Most people don't realize they're giving off low-frequency energy, which is actually making their situation worse. Discover the Lazy Person's Secret To Get Everything You've Ever Wished For - CLICK HERE
The main problem is when you attach your emotions to your external circumstances.
For instance, it's easy to feel bad when you're broke. And naturally, it's just as easy feel the opposite if you had money in the bank.
Similarly, seeing other people in a happy, romantic relationship will make you bitter and angry if you're single.
And so on…
I'm not saying it's wrong to feel bad about things like that. However, you shouldn't use your circumstances (and how you FEEL about them) as an excuse to STOP trying.
People fail to realize that NOT doing anything about their situation will only make them feel WORSE. And this further traps them in a vicious cycle of negativity and inaction.
Thus, the Law of Attraction will help you install a more positive attitude in your consciousness.
This keeps your mind from being overrun by negativity - and more importantly, give you the leverage to BREAK FREE from your situation.
With some practice, your thoughts and actions will effortlessly work together to attract positive circumstances in your life.
But where should you start? Here are some ways to put the Law of Attraction into action and start creating massive changes:
#1: Share Your Gifts to the World
The Bible talks about the power of giving, and how it outweighs the benefits of getting.
But no matter what your faith or beliefs are, it helps to think of generosity on a LARGER SCALE.
Giving is more than just a virtue - it's a type of cosmic currency.
When you perform acts of kindness or share your resources for no other reason than WANTING TO, you're putting this currency into circulation.
And soon enough, this positive energy you send into the world - and the Universe as a whole - will find its way back to you.
You won't get it in the same form, but it will come around, one way or another.
I know that sometimes, giving feels like the LAST thing you want to do - especially when your own life is lacking in some capacity.
Why bother extending yourself when you've got enough to worry about for yourself?
But that's exactly the point.
Giving - even when you THINK you can't - will prove that this is a FALSE perception.
Let your acts of generosity serve as a reminder to everyone that in spite of everything, life IS and will ALWAYS be abundant.
Trust in the infinite energy of the Universe and tune into its unique frequency.
Your selflessness is the key to that. A generous attitude raises the quality of the vibrations you send out into the world.
Escaping the scarcity mindset and the fear of not having enough is one of the most liberating things you can do.
By doing so, you're FREE to improve the lives of others - and yours in the process.
Learn How To Use Destiny Tuning To Manifest The Life You Want - CLICK HERE
#2: Stop hanging out with losers
I don't mean to sound judgmental, but there are people in your life that will try to drag you down, whether they're aware of it or not.
You should avoid them at all costs.
People in a bad situation will try to feel better about themselves by spreading their toxic way of thinking to others.
They pull others down with their hurtful words, or convince them that they're not good enough.
Instead of doing something about their own situation, it's easier to go down this dark path and take everyone else with them.
And the Law of Attraction states that when you focus on something, the Universe will feed you more of the SAME.
So the good news is that you can choose to avoid this downward spiral and get on another path instead.
This is why you need to be careful about the company you keep. Choose the people that can share their constructive energy with you.
If their attitude, mindset and words lift you up, you know you're in the right place.
Their energy is contagious, and you'll naturally raise your own frequency and attract only good things in your life.
As for toxic people, I know there are times when you simply can't avoid them.
They could be family, friends, or co-workers - and you might be even living with some of them.
It's a challenge for sure, but do your best not to let their negative energy get to you.
You don't have to butt heads with them and simply respond with positivity.
If you're in a conversation with them, try to frame it in a healthy, positive way so you don't get sucked into their toxic field of gravity.
You don't have to change their mind; just take the “agree to disagree” route and leave it at that.
Who knows, your own energy might “rub off” on their consciousness. They might even think about what you told them and re-evaluate their own perspective.
#3: Get out from under the grind
We all have our lives to lead, and that means falling into a routine.
Now, don't get me wrong - having structure in your life is important and even necessary.
At a basic level, we need it to function on a daily basis. Incorporating helpful habits into your everyday routine is a GOOD thing.
However, there is a danger in being TOO embedded in it and shutting yourself off to trying NEW things.
Sticking too closely to your routine could make you afraid of the unfamiliar and uncomfortable - and hinder your GROWTH in the process.
So if you want to attract new and exciting things into your life, you should carve out some room for that.
Learn How To Use Destiny Tuning To Manifest The Life You Want - CLICK HERE
Doing things that help you grow ALWAYS has a place in a well-balanced life. A stable, healthy routine is the best way to avoid a soul-crushing existence.
What are the things that inspire you?
Outside of your usual chores and duties, what gives you a sense of fulfillment - even if it doesn't pay the bills?
People usually shoot down any desire for this because they're afraid they “don't have enough time.”
But you'll see just how flimsy that excuse is once you actually take the plunge and spend that time you didn't think you had.
In as little as half an hour, you could engage in a fulfilling pursuit. Find (or rekindle) a hobby, take up an online course or watch free videos.
Let it energize your senses, inspire you to greatness and empower you to create something wonderful in this world.
More than that, you can acquire knowledge to advance you in some way, like learning a skill, for example.
I recently came across a post on Twitter that made me smile.
It said: “There's too much free information online for y'all not be crushin it in whatever field.”
Use your precious time to invest in a better you and express yourself through your passions.
Don't worry about the “if”s and “how”s. Just get started with something now, and the rest of your life will adjust to it.
You won't know what new avenues will open up UNTIL you get the ball rolling,
#4: Quiet your mind
Meditation is one habit that goes very well with practicing the Law of Attraction.
When you learn how to control your thoughts (instead of the other way around), you're in the best position to manifest the things you want.
A lot of people find it challenging to keep their thoughts above water when they're flooded with negative emotions.
With meditation, you can take a step back and remove yourself from a situation in a healthy way.
There are books, free content online and mobile apps that can help you with this.
For instance, I just tried out the Insight app on my phone which is kind of like the YouTube equivalent for meditation.
Learn How To Use Destiny Tuning To Manifest The Life You Want - CLICK HERE
You can search by a specific person or channel, or even topics like easing anxiety, anger management, and so on.
This is a low-maintenance habit which will only take about 10-15 minutes daily. You could even spend five minutes if you're really strapped for time!
This basically works by sitting down on the floor (or a chair) and closing your eyes.
The idea is to take slow, measured breaths and pay attention to the physical sensations you're feeling at the moment.
Are your muscles tense? Is your heart beating quickly from the stress you're currently experiencing?
These are some of the things to be mindful of as you breathe in and out. If any other thoughts enter your mind, don't resist it.
Don't chase after them and just let it pass. Then you can go back to focusing on the rhythm of your breath.
Take this time to focus on the feelings of love, health, success and prosperity.
In other words, the things you want to ATTRACT.
Concentrate your attention on inhaling and exhaling. Once you've calmed your mind enough, you're ready to visualize the things you want to manifest in life.
This will have a powerful effect on your subconscious and put you on the path towards your goals.
And that brings us to the last life-changing habit…
#5: Affirmations
Muhammad Ali, one of the greatest boxers in history, was known for saying, “What you're thinking is what you're becoming.”
Indeed.
That attitude helped him become what he was, and it will serve you well, too.
Most of the time, people don't pay attention to the kind of thoughts they hold in their heads.
Left unchecked, they often feed into a toxic narrative they have about themselves without realizing it.
Like I said earlier, what you put in your subconscious affects you.
The things you tell yourself are like seeds you plant in your mind and they'll grow over time. Those same thoughts will express themselves in your actions and the choices you make.
So, you need to be careful which seeds you plant.
Joseph Murphy, author of the book, “The Power of the Subconscious Mind”, tells us that this part of your mind can't distinguish which thoughts are real or imagined.
As far as it's concerned, your subconscious will treat it as FACT whether it's happening in the physical world or NOT.
Thus, people don't just operate on these subconscious beliefs. Without being aware of it, they're turning their thoughts into reality.
And it WILL happen - one way or another.
The perception you have about yourself is largely influenced by the people you had around while growing up.
Their input - whether good or bad - left a mark on your subconscious that's hard to shake off.
And this programming kicks in whenever you make decisions and it dictates how you respond to tough times.
This inner dialogue can act as your inner voice of confidence and self-assurance…
…or as in most people's cases, it's the voice of fear and self-doubt.
You might think you're not good enough or smart enough because you couldn't stop the bad things from happening.
You curse yourself for messing things up, then blame it on some pre-assigned character defect.
Usually, it's in the form of labels like “Loser”, “Hopeless Case”, “Slacker”, “Weirdo” and so on.
But remember, these labels only have as much power over as you ALLOW it.
You can apply the Law of Attraction to change this inner chatter and rewire your mind for success instead.
It's impossible to attract wealth, abundance and happiness if you're focused on putting yourself down.
Learn How to Force the Universe to Manifest Your Dream Life - CLICK HERE
You can do the opposite by using encouraging statements that will empower you to take action.
Here are some examples to try during your meditation sessions:
Affirmations that span across time: Think about what's already happened, what's happening now, and what's yet to come. Then put it all together like this: “BEFORE, I was broke, miserable and hated the world. But I know better NOW and want to turn it around. Things are about to change, and SOON I'll be prosperous, happy and living my dream life.”
Affirmations that are crystal clear: Saying something like “I am loved” or “I am blessed” is a good start, but they're a bit vague. Try elaborating on these ideas and flesh them out even more. Then you'll end up with a statement like “I'm surrounded by people who love and support me. They help me grow as a person and want to see me succeed.” As for being blessed, you can say “I'm blessed with infinite opportunities and resources, and my life is full and abundant.”
Affirmations with an attitude: Another way to supercharge your subconscious is by being a little cheeky with your statements. When that voice of fear and insecurity kicks in, drown out the noise with, “Whatever, I'm amazing at everything I do. I fight like hell and do my best, and I can't hear what you're saying!” Adding some lighthearted humor amplifies your signal and makes it easier for the Universe to hear your thoughts. Try this the next time you're feeling especially down on yourself.
When you improve the quality of your thoughts, it's as if your circumstances will rearrange itself on their own.
These changes will seem to happen without doing much on your part. But the truth is that you're already doing the heavy lifting by disciplining your mind.
Starting today, you can apply these five tips I've just shared with you to create ripples of change in your life.
The more you practice them, the bigger waves will result from your efforts. I hope you make use of this knowledge and empower yourself for greatness.
Before I go, there's ONE MORE gift I'd like to share with you…
It's called the Manifestation Breakthrough Kit, and for a limited time I'm offering it totally FREE of charge.
You can combine this kit with the five tips you just learned to get even BETTER results.
learn how to FORCE the Universe to give you everything you've ever wanted…and MORE! - CLICK HERE
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momostodoroki · 4 years
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the better half of me (pt. 3)
hey so i finished this soulmate au (though i guess it’s not so much abt the soulmates as it is about the tdmm)! i’ll be posting the final chapter tomorrow!
ao3
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 This is, without a doubt, Momo's worst week ever at Yuuei.
 Forget her first year's final exam, or the time Bakugou-san got kidnapped. Forget that one time Mineta conned her into wearing a cheerleading uniform. This week has been worse.
 "Kyouka-san, what am I going to do?" she moans, hugging her favorite pillow as she lies in her bed. In the cramped space between Momo's desk and bed, Kyouka tunes her favorite guitar, giving her best friend a fondly exasperated look. They're supposed to be studying physics for Kyouka's supposed benefit, but they're both done with their homework and it really was just an excuse to get out of Momo's library date ("It's not a date, Kyouka-san!”) with Todoroki.
 "Yaomomo, it's okay. Just      tell     him." She says for maybe the hundredth time. Momo knows she's right, but she also knows that Todoroki has, at best, complicated feelings towards soulmates. She hates the idea of potentially losing his friendship.
 "But Kyouka-san, Todoroki-san's friendship is very important to me, I wouldn't want to do anything to jeopardize it. And, well…" she pauses, looking away dejectedly. "You know how he feels about soulmates. " she finishes in a whisper.
 Giving up on her guitar, Kyouka groans.
 "So Todoroki doesn't like soulmates, big deal." She tells Momo. Her best friend's eyes are ablaze with an emotion Momo doesn't quite get. "He still gets one, and it's not fair to you to deprive yourself of a resolution just to accommodate him, Yaomomo. The stars around his eye are just as much yours as they are his." She finishes, sighing deeply. Suddenly, Momo gets it.
 "Kyouka-san… did you, by chance, already find your soulmate?" she asks from behind her pillow, hoping it will muffle her excitement. Kyouka looks away, cheeks tinting slightly pink. "Oh my god! Who? Is it from our class?"
 Instead of an answer, her best friend gives her one of those looks that tell her she's been spending too much time with Ashido-san. Cheeks pinking, she slides back a few inches into her bed.
 "Well, yeah -but don't tell Ashido!" she chides, looking at Momo menacingly for a moment. Then, her gaze mellows into something softer. "I didn't get the whole soulmate deal either, at first. But honestly Yaomomo, Todoroki would be an idiot to reject you, soulmates or not. And you know what? He doesn't strike me as an idiot."
 Momo gives her a tiny, hopeful smile. One of the things she likes best about Kyouka is her frankness, and how unwilling she is to sugarcoat things. So when she says there is hope for her and Todoroki yet, Momo believes in her.
 "Thank you, Kyouka-san." She says.
 "Don't mention it." she replies, lightly. And then, menacingly: "Seriously, don't. Now listen to this song I learned the other day and tell me if we could get the rest of the band to play it…"
-
 Yaoyorozu is avoiding him.
 It's hard to prove, because she keeps herself quite busy even when she's not avoiding him -but the sudden constant absence from the Heights Alliance common area, the dashing out the door as soon as the class is finished, the myriad of excuses to get out of all their studying and training together, all since the shape-shifting villain incident… She      has    to be avoiding him.
 Shouto has tried to seek her out to try and talk things out, but whenever he knocks on her door, she's conveniently out, or busy with one of the girls, or running an errand for Aizawa-sensei. He's running out of ideas to get her to talk to him, and not knowing the reasons behind her sudden change in behavior might just drive him insane. Even when they do spend time together, there's always someone else where there used to be just the two of them, almost as if they were acting as a buffer. The quiet, companionable afternoons now turned into spaces for Jirou to compare homework answers or Asui to try and convince them to call her "Tsuyu".
 In the week since, Shouto has discovered just how much time he really spent with Yaoyorozu. He always knew he spent considerably more time alone with her than with any other of his friends -except perhaps Midoriya-, but he still thought that amount of time wasn't that long. It certainly didn't feel so when he spent it with her. Now, as she excuses herself to help Jirou with physics for the umpteenth time, Shouto finds that one hour can stretch on quite a lot more than sixty minutes. It's an odd feeling in his chest, and one he fails to identify until his weekly visit to his mom arrives and he realizes the pang in his chest isn’t      that     different from the one he’s been feeling since he realized Yaoyorozu was avoiding him: he      misses    her.
 He doesn’t quite know what to do with that information. He holds his classmates in high esteem, and he doesn’t doubt he will come to miss them when their time at Yuuei is done -but to feel this way for someone he still technically sees every day, it makes him feel… discombobulated.
 “Midoriya, do you ever find yourself missing people you see quite often?” he asks on the eight day of Yaoyorozu’s semi-absence. From across the library table, his green-haired friend throws him an odd look. Shouto knows that Midoriya noticed Yaoyorozu’s change too, and he supposes his friend must be wondering how he feels. If he’s honest, he almost talked himself out of asking him -but he isn’t any closer to figuring out why the vice-president’s cold shoulder hurts so much on his own, and Midoriya is known for being great with feelings but bad with decisions.
 “Is this about Yaoyorozu?” he asks. Shouto looks pointedly at the book he’s been taking notes from, at the one sentence he’s read a dozen times in the past ten minutes but still can’t figure out what it means. “Okay. Yes. I see my mom often, but I still miss-” Shouto throws him a deadpan look. “-okay, that’s not what you mean. Well… there is someone…” he trails off, gaze wandering to some point beyond Shouto’s head. Curious, he follows it, but he finds no sign of Uraraka. The only familiar person in the vicinity is Bakugou on the second floor, furiously taking notes with… a pink pencil? “Nevermind.” Midoriya says.
 Internally, Shouto sighs. This is a problem he’ll have to sort out himself.
-
     You know, he deserves a chance to decide too    .
 Kyouka’s words before leaving her bedroom that day haunt her. There’s no denying the truth in them -but much in the style of Momo’s first year’s final exam, her self-doubt cripples her. She wants, more than anything, to tell Todoroki-san about their matching soulmarks. She’s allowed herself to dream late at night about him being happy as her soulmate, seeing her as someone he can rely on and be open with. But she’s also aware that Todoroki is far from the romantic soul that her fantasies dream him to be. There is a part of her, in the deepest of her heart, that is utterly convinced (and terrified) that saying the truth is going to irreparably tear their friendship apart -much more than it already is. So she keeps quiet.
 Even Kyouka’s heartfelt assurances don’t keep her from obsessing over the what-ifs. She spends most of the week in a daze, and on the second friday since discovering her soulmate, Momo’s distractions finally catch up to her.
 Class 1A is having a natural disaster rescue simulation in Ground Omega when it happens. She’s been paired up with Iida and Sero, as well as Asui in scouting and first-response medical care. Not far from her team’s area, Todoroki and his team (Uraraka, Tokoyami and Koda) have set up a transport line for getting injured civilians to a refugee camp.
 Momo chances a look their way in spite of herself, and with a rapidly-beating heart she finds Todoroki looking straight at her. There’s barely any hint of an expression on his face other than cool determination, but hundreds of hours spent discussing books and tea and so many other things have given her the uncanny ability to read his eyes just as well as any book. And if she can trust herself (which, admittedly, is getting harder by the second), she thinks Todoroki’s blue-and-grey eyes are full of sadness.
 She didn’t do that, did she?
 Her mind sort of splits in two, as though her quirk had produced a second one. Part of her is focused on producing more medical supplies for the civilians that Asui keeps bringing in from the river, while the rest of her is stuck on coming clean to Todoroki about their soulmarks. She's so concentrated on not messing either train of thought up (as she both needs to make sure the medicines she makes are perfectly balanced lest she poisons someone and make a decision, because this choice will not get any easier), that she fails to notice the tremor in the earth under her feet, mistaking it for her own trembling hands. Seconds later, a ten-foot tall wave rises from the river.
 It hits before Momo can react, pushing her back towards Ground Omega’s woods. As the water carries her, something in her clicks, and she concentrates as hard as she can on making a lifeboat. She feels the fabric in the back of her costume stretching, then rupture. Not a millisecond later, the lifeboat springs out from her back. Momo allows herself one moment of self-satisfaction before clinging to the lifeboat’s side, about to climb on.
 But before she can pull herself up, there’s a sharp pain at the back of her neck, and everything goes dark.
-
 Shouto has to admit, as far as natural disaster drills go, this is a pretty hardcore one.
 Even for Yuuei, the height and intensity of the second tsunami-like wave is overkill, so Shouto deduces whoever’s behind it must have forgotten the civilians were actually paid actors who could sue for damages. Either way, he and his team scramble to take control of the situation, and they do it successfully -for the most part.
 Not too far from them, he catches sight of Asui and Sero helping civilians out of the water, with Iida sprinting back and forth carrying people so fast he barely touches the water -like some sort of twisted, steam-punk Jesus. Shouto vaguely wonders if his engine can take the water damage. Yaoyorozu would probably know the answer to that, but they’re not any better than the previous week.
 Shouto looks around in spite of himself for her, and finds her some yards away, letting the wave take her as her brows scrunch the way they do when she’s deep in concentration. A lifeboat springs up from behind her, and she holds onto it -but the woods are gaining on her fast.
 Signaling Tokoyami, Shouto takes off in her aid, freezing the water to slide his way to her. Given the state of their friendship, Shouto doesn’t know that Yaoyorozu would appreciate his help at all -but he could not live with himself if something happened to her and he just let it. He’s almost by her side when she’s hit in the head by a broken tree branch -and then she goes under.
 He distantly hears Uraraka screaming Yaoyorozu’s name, but it all fades as he throws himself into the water. It’s dark and muddy under the surface, but Yaoyorozu’s hero costume shines bright red even under the murky water. She sinks almost as rapidly as he swims to her, but he manages to catch her by the waist and propel himself upwards with his ice. He emerges, gasping for air, with Yaoyorozu unconscious in his arms.
 Shouto gives himself a second to push the hair back gently from her face, then brings her to the cliff where Aizawa-sensei and All Might scramble to make sure everyone is accounted for. Midoriya and Jirou are there to greet him, and he hands her over with a trembling in his hands that he didn’t even know he had.
 “She was under for about a minute.” he tells them, voice cracking in spite of himself. Midoriya rushes to take her off his arms as Jirou assures him she will be just fine. Shouto refuses to believe the opposite, so he just nods and hands her over to be taken to Recovery Girl. He’s about to go back into the chaos of things to clear his head when something catches his eye.
 He looks at Yaoyorozu’s body, hanging limp in Midoriya’s arms. Her costume’s back is torn -and there, on the small of her back is the answer to all of his questions: a perfect circle of stars. His perfect circle of stars.
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fragilemxnds · 4 years
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Was that [JODIE COMER]? Oh no no, that was just [POPPY MCKINNON], an [OC] from [HARRY POTTER]. They are [TWENTY FOUR] years old and [ARE] aware that they are not actually from Washington DC. Too bad they can’t stray from this city for long.
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How long has your character been here?
poppy has been in d.c. for about a year now...
What is your character’s job?
poppy just recently started her own business. she owns a pr and marketing firm, this is literally a baby business. brand new. but she is doing her best, so be nice.
Where has your character been pulled from in their fandom?
poppy was pulled the night of her and her families d*ath.
Has any magic affected your character?
no, poppy remembers everything but chooses to have selective memory about certain things… (like the death of her entire family.)
And any other information you might find useful for us and the other members to know:
poppy mckinnon was beautiful by anyone’s standards, she had long blonde hair, high cheekbones, soft round lips. she could look at any magazine or ad and see herself in it. she was surrounded by this beauty her whole life, being one of six girls that all held similar features. being in a large family never really bothered poppy when she was young, she always had someone to play with and someone to compete with. she blamed kit for that last part, maybe it was a process of elimination or maybe it was because poppy was just around at the wrong time but she constantly got pulled outside and was forced to stand and be the keeper. it was in situations like these that poppy started to take note that she didn’t have her thing. something to call her own, something that made her different than her sisters. 
It didn’t get annoying until she started noticing it in school. she remembered the first time one of her professors called her abi, then corrected it to kit… before laughing and giving her a half assed apology. she can still recall the scorching heat that rose to her cheeks, the feeling of her stomach clenching in embarrassment. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to be her sisters, it’s just that she wanted to be her own person. she had spent so long being one of seven, and more importantly one of six girls. she learned to hate the feeling of not standing out, learned that her fixation on finding her own identity wasn’t childish but necessary. 
when she finally got to hogwarts nothing made her more excited than the sorting ceremony. she was convinced she would be the first of her family to be a ravenclaw. she had incredible marks and was learning and self teaching concepts above her year even before she started her first year. she perched herself on that stool with such an attitude and the hat barely touched a hair on her head before it shouted out ‘ slytherin’. she cried herself to sleep that night, tear drops staining the parchment she wrote to natalie on. she hadn’t told anyone of her wish, wanting to rub it in their faces that they were wrong about their predictions after she had her blue and bronze robes. and she continued to keep it a secret, putting of a fake smile when she joined her sisters at the table, writing to nat that those were the stains of happy tears. clearly the sorting hat didn’t think she was good enough for ravenclaw. she set out to prove it wrong.
poppy always had a sharp tongue, needing to defend herself against her sister’s tempers or the resident class bully ( although in laters years that may have been poppy herself). and her way with words only seemed to increase surrounded by the other slytherins, she made friends quickly and climbed the social ranks of her year as well. got in trouble quite a few times, talking back to professors, sneaking out, messing with prefects. nothing serious enough for her to be expelled and most of it was in good fun, well her good fun. she excelled in her classes, always producing one of the highest marks of her year consistently. the more time she spent at school, the better she felt about herself the more confident she became in the person she was. the less people compared her to her sisters, or mistook her for one of them. the quest of self discovery and self-importance did come with a downside though, and that was growing further and further apart from her sisters. when she was at school, with her friends, the world seemed to revolve around her and she started to expect that in other places in her life. when she would go home and fall back into just being another one of the kids or siblings she retaliated. she’d spend her nights sneaking out to see her friends, or locking herself in her room, complaining every possible chance she got over family charades games. she’d prioritize herself and her wants over her families yet they all still loved and looked out for her… even when she might not have done the same.
although in her 4th year at school kit went missing for five days. she couldn’t even tell you who was the first person to let her know, she blacked out in a panicked rage. she tore through the halls demanding to speak to professor dumbledore ( or dippet depending on time lines ya girl tried to research and did her best okay?) to know why they haven’t been scouring the forest to find her sister. those five days her sister was missing, poppy was a force to be reckoned with. she practically bit off anyone’s head that tried to talk to her, console her, or tell her what to do. yet, kit was found and poppy simply responded by hugging her sister before quickly saying “took you long enough” and strutting out of the room. 
things settled down as well as they could with a war raging around them. but hogwarts was always a well protected space and poppy was rather naive about it all. It wasn’t until her 6th year that she met him. poppy had never been in love before, she had crushes and childish “romances” but nothing serious before him. In the safety of the wall of school she had no idea what his life outside of them consisted of, had no idea what side his family had aligned themselves with. because none of that really mattered when they were together, they were happy and in love and just … perfect for each other. but then they were forced into reality after graduation. she was so sure that he was the one, that one of these days she walk into her house and flash the ring on her finger to all of her sisters and bask in all of their jealousy and awe. he took her to meet his family and she politely refrained from uncomfortable conversations. his mother loved her and would give her gifts, pull her aside and talk about how she could continue their family name with a line of great wizards. and part of her did want that, she wanted to settle down and start a family with him. she’d fight with him constantly about it, begging him to not follow in his family’s footsteps. that they could be happy as just the two of them. but eventually he didn’t choose her, she wasn’t good enough for him or his family and the expectations he held for them. the break up nearly broke her, she nearly lost her job at the ministry of magic over it, and somehow she got meaner. but as time went out, and the things in her world seemed to get worse, she pierced herself back together. determined to show him and whoever else doubted her that she was good enough, in fact she was better.
she was on track to do just that, she was promoted quickly in the ministry of magic’s department of magical accidents and catastrophes. if any one could spin a disaster into a non story or flip the narrative it was poppy mckinnon. her life was in a good spot so naturally that meant the universe had to shove her back down again. she was leaving work when she passed him on the street. he looked very different, stressed and tired, and he was in a hurry nearly pushing down people as he passed. just as she saw him, he saw her and they shared a quick glance and something in his eyes didn’t sit right with her, but she couldn’t place it. looking back now, that quick glance told her everything… it was a warning, but at the same time it was guilt, sadness, an apology? she couldn’t be completely sure, but as he continued walking she saw it on his left hand… a simple band. and she felt herself crashing all over again. she ended up in a pub soon after, attempting to drink away the image of him, to drink away the pain.
before walking into her house on that fateful night poppy made sure that every tear was wiped away, the stench of smoke and alcohol gone with a hefty perfume spell, and the widest smile she could muster. for once she didn’t complain when marlene asked for them to play charades, and for the first time in a while she had fun...welcoming the distraction. she was secretly thankful that marlene was leaving, she worried for her sister of course, but her own selfishness knew that her family was too preoccupied with marlene to notice how out of sorts poppy was. the events of that night happened all too quickly, poppy couldn’t spell them out for you even if she tried. all she remembers is her wand being thrust into her hands and shouting out spells as best she could. she knew they weren’t landing, and if they were they weren’t as strong as they once were. she was very quickly losing this fight, her emotions and intoxicated state winning over her as she continued to fight against them and the death eaters that stormed her home. she felt the hot, wet, tears trickle down her cheek as kit dropped next to her. she put her absolute all into the last curse but it wasn’t enough and she soon joined her sister on the floor.
poppy wished she could forget, wished she could wipe the guilt from her soul of failing her family. wished she could go back and do it all differently, to stop him that earlier that day and demand the truth from him. to be able to save her family and herself from making such a poor decision. but she couldn't because she was stuck in d.c. and now had to figure out her new life here. she thankfully found a job pretty quickly, at a small public relations firm. she outgrew their business though and without many places to grow, she decided to venture out on her own. she started her own marketing and pr firm. she is nervous and insecure but she is still determined to prove to others that she is good enough, and now on top of that she has to prove to herself that she is good enough. she still can be quite nasty (esp. since she is stressed out with starting a whole new business), and still isn’t the closest with her siblings or parents but part of that has to do with guilt and the pain of losing them. she is starting her new life over but whether that new life comes with a redemption arc … is solely up to her. 
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jack-jupiter · 6 years
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I was twenty, the first time I hurt someone. I was coming out of the mall, clutching a bag of comicbooks, when I heard my least favorite word thrown at me, like a knive in my back. “Psh. Fruitcake.” I stopped on the sidewalk, but I didn’t dare turn around. I hate using the word “thug”. As a black man, it hurts my spirit. The word crawls, mettallic, over my skin. It gives me goosebumps. But that’s what they were. Not quite “fresh” from high school, but not yet seasoned in life. Twenty year olds, like me, but they wore the clothes of the social elite, the watchdogs of performative masculinity. They noticed that I had froze. And just when I was about to continue on and cross, the same voice cackled. “Nigga, I bet when you shit, fruit loops come out!” My ears began to ring. I became hot. In my homosexual hyperviligance, I tuned into my surroundings. There were two families sitting at nearby tables, watching, not intervening. And why would they? Again, I froze. I was crushing the binding to my new purchases. Anger feels like sleeper pods that were planted throughout your body, suddenly all coming alive, at once. I was losing control of myself. So what did I do? I disassociated. I hovered over my body, feeling nothing, dreaming, and in that dream-like haze, I watched my body turn around.... "What?” he shouted. I don’t remember how I got on top of him. In my astral state, it took me a while to register what was truly going on. But I was breaking his jaw open with the edge of fist, until finally it shattered into three pieces. I don’t know if it was shock that kept his friend at bay, but when my body had finished mashing his disfigured face into spittle, I kept his head forced on the cement with my wet hand and went to town on his ribs -- pounding, pounding, pounding -- waiting for something to break beneath me, to shatter, when the security guard pulled me off. That’s when I learned about the three pieces. He would have to get his jaw wired back together, just like my aunt had. The security guard was talking and I was compliant, but I was still dreaming, wondering if this made me as bad as my uncle, because the feeling of bones breaking beneath my knuckles felt too good. It was too satisfying. I had never harmed someone like that in my life. I was the nice child. The responsible child. The artist.  My dad paid whatever was on the guard’s slip, and eerily, he seemed happy about it, like I had finally made a man out of myself. My whole childhood, I wasn’t allowed to cry. I couldn’t sing Whitney Houston songs without changing the pronouns. And when I came out, he tried to buy me a sex worker, to prove it was “just a phase”. (I was still a teenager.) So when even that proved futile, he resigned himself to the same sentence, the only damn sentence he would say if my homosexuality came up: “If you were really gay, you wouldn’t need my approval....”  Just like that, I was crucified, and now here he was, jolly that I’d broken some kid’s jaw in three pieces. My father wasn’t a stranger to domestic abuse, just like my uncle. He’d struck my stepmother while she was still pregnant, and it wasn’t really that long ago. It made washing the blood off my knuckles feel weird, like I had joined some ancestral mass karma; but I quickly withdrew back to my apartment, back to dreaming. But then, a few years later, someone turned their back on me. I turned them around, forcing them to face me, then after a breath, I punched them in the mouth. I found out that though I had resigned myself to feeling unreal, my violent alter-ego deeply resented being ignored. I didn’t dislodge any teeth, to my comfort and dismay, but I was satisfied. They knew never to ignore me again. I was a rational person. It’s not like I go around pummeling strangers for nothing. I was just making things fair. It wasn’t until I was in my late twenties that I knew I had a problem. I was uncovering all my childhood trauma, and truly unearthing how deeply my childhood emotional neglect had affected my life. I had never had sex with a man. I could count how many men I’d kissed on one hand. I had slept through my own urges, because I didn’t trust anyone with my body. I found myself fantasizing about Paul, wishing to return to simpler times where my sexuality wasn’t so confusing. But the older I got, the more complex I discovered my psyche was. And what was worse, I was getting triggered everywhere I went. I was triggered when people ignored me. I was triggered when men tried to touch me. I was triggered by police brutality. I was triggered by homophobia. I was triggered by any racial discussions, and it was frightening how much rage ebbed beneath my disassociative reflex. When words would crawl over my skin, I could feel my alter-ego being aroused, waiting. So I created a room inside my mind, locked him inside, and became a “nice person” again. I nurtured my relationships, ignored my impulses, and steadied rocked boats like my life depended on it. I had grown wise among my peers for my self-control, but the more I ignored the anger writhing in that room, the more I lost my sense of self. I didn’t know that our anger provided clarity to definitively set boundaries, or that anger gave one agency to make changes in one’s life. I was too frightened to release my alter-ego. I feared what my new family of friends would think. It felt more righteous to suppress such raw, unpleasant emotions in favor of harmonizing the social equilibrium. But it did not help. The rage found its escape from behind my eyes. My gaze became hypnotic and arresting. “It’s like you’re looking into my soul,” they would say. But what I was looking for, were threats. I was projecting the very intensity that I was trying to mask. But if I wasn’t hypervigilant, someone might rouse the other me. So I pre-emptively scanned and scrutinized everyone in my aura, to protect them -- and myself -- from my own other self. When taking over my eyes didn’t work, I started getting tremors and digestive problems. It was as if there was a force inside, thrashing to get out, and sometimes I would forget the cause and wonder why. I tried to fix it with vitamins and exercise. I would soak in epsom salt tanks and get massages. But no matter what I did, everyone would still ask, “Why so tense? You’re usually so laidback.” And that was the secret to my laidback effervescence: it was devoid of polarity. My personality was a half-truth. But even with my alter-ego locked up in my body, there were still coincidences. The co-worker who took my parking spot would suddenly become ill. The restaurant with the racist waitress was forced to close down. Once, while a friend and I were walking toward a supermarket, in the dark, my shoulder collided with someone leaving. “Watch where yer goin’!” he shouted as he continued toward the parking lot. I took a deep breath and kept walking, and before my friend could make a snide comment, the man behind me had doubled over. He was vomiting. My friends began to catch on that bad things happen to people who mess with me, and honestly, I liked the rush. My shadow was protecting me, even within the confines of my mental prison. I had developed a spunky but righteously passive persona, so it gave me a newfound feeling of dignity. Until, I had an argument with my uncle, about Trump, on the internet. I let myself get upset but concluded that I should just block him. What should I expect from my white uncle? When I saw him next, I righteously apologized, but then we argued again, about the US colonizing Mexican land. I decided I just can’t talk about politics with my uncle. It would just end badly. Next time I saw him, I’d just tailor the conversation away from any landmines. But... I never saw him again. He died of a heart attack. To this day, I don’t believe I killed my uncle, but the thought frightened me beneath my bones. I wasn’t close to my uncle, but I still had regrets about our last encounter. I wished that things were different.  It wasn’t until my grandma died that I really became afraid. I used to be my grandmother’s favorite, but I had put some distance between us. I was upset as an adult by how abusive and one-sided our relationship was. So I moved to Oakland and rarely visited. When she called for Thanksgiving, I didn’t call her back. I had gone to the woods, alone. Holidays brought up a lot of trauma for me, so I thought I was practicing self-care by putting myself first.... But Grandma ended up in the hospital, and later died that Christmas. I never got a chance to apologize. She was in a coma throughout her stay at the hospital. After her death, my tremors got worse. My panic attacks became more frequent, forcing me to find private corners to cry in. With my new awareness around mortality, I thought my body was failing me. I thought I was going to die. In a panic, I’d jog around my block, just to make sure my heart kept pumping. I could feel something thrashing inside of me but I’d forgotten what it was. I thought I was alone. So when I turned my jog into a brisk walk, I looked up at the sky, and I cursed God. I demanded answers. While I was walking in the city’s darkness, cursing under my breath, people would walk behind me, friends laughing and making jokes, interrupting my concentration. “Would y’all shut up,” I hissed silently. Then I heard a loud smack, and the rustling of cardboard. They had dropped their box of donuts all over the sidewalk. I kept walking. “So I’m not allowed to get angry, huh?” I seethed toward the night’s sky. “I’m just not allowed to feel anything?” Suddenly, a car’s tire bursted on the other side of the road. The pop echoed through the street like a gunshot. I flinched, then clenched my fists. It was unfair. What kind of life was this, if I’m not allowed to feel anything? I returned to my car, and I broke the handle... Now, I’d had enough. I stormed back down the street, re-entering the night. I was going to get answers. I shouted at the sky angrily. “And tell me in a way that I can understand!” I demanded. “Why is my life so terrible?” What happened next, I can’t really explain. It happened so fast, and there was no threshold for the event, just the clear blue streak of recognition. In that moment, I saw myself. The other me.... I was angry. But I was beautiful. And in that moment, for the first time in years, I felt whole. The door to the room must have come open, for within my psyche, I was confronted with the truth of who I was; and though it was wild, it was also comforting. His eyes were direct and piercing, just like mine. I knew that if I stared too long, I would be hypnotized, that eventually I would be able to see into his world, a world of vengeance and magic. Within him was held all the agency that I had denied for myself. Within him, within me, between us, was true power. In that moment, I felt real; and I realized that by denying my anger, I had not only lost myself, but I had hidden the wounds in my heart from my loved ones, and from all the men who had tried to love me. I was scared to show this new side of myself to people. I was so laidback, wise, and charming to be around. Integrating my shadow side would make me more decisive, more dominate, more mysterious and difficult to read. It meant I wouldn’t be putting up with half the bullshit I dealt with now. Ultimately, my shadow was unsettling. He disrupted all the harmony of the social membrane, and he rocked the boats that I was always so desperately trying to settle. It meant saying what I really felt, doing what I truly wanted to do, and ignoring the rest. It meant committing to myself and the continuity of my story. It meant remaining real. And beyond that, there were secrets, secrets that my shadow side knew, about the world, about people, and about magic. Do I dare? So I began to work with my shadow, but in solitude. The two of us together discussed current events, made art, and deeply harnessed the powers of the occult. As we became one, all my symptoms of illness went away, though the coincidences continued for anyone who crossed me. I felt dangerous, but oddly more whole. In truth, I had always been dangerous. The danger had just been locked in a room.  Over time, I was taught how to contact and make peace with my grandma, and with my uncle. I could finally feel a semblance of peace. I hadn’t revealed my shadow to any of my friends, and definitely not to my family, but I was doing my best, and my shadow understood. Some traumas were healed. Some triggers simply went away. But I was still stuck within certain patterns that I couldn’t escape. I hadn’t hurt anyone, but I wasn’t living the life that I wanted. The dire economic realities of this world were really starting to affect me. I knew that I couldn’t reach my full potential without some kind of stability. And there was the issue of romance. I was nearly thirty, and even without some of the blockages I had cleared, love and sex still seemed elusive. I knew I wouldn’t be able to forge much farther alone. I was going to need a teacher. 
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mewtwo24 · 7 years
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Jihyun Kim/V x MC Headcanons
I have no explanation for this, other than I’m hopelessly in love with Jihyun Kim and I really wanted to do this as the self-indulgent trash that I am. I hope those of you that read it enjoy it, and that I’ve done him justice. Under the cut because this became way longer than I thought it would be;;;
Also note: Mild Good End V route spoilers
Who is the cuddler? 
Jihyuuuuuun Kim ladies and gentleman. This man--not unlike his best friend--is touch-starved; between his father’s cold indifference and his rocky relationship with his mother he’s never really been close to people that way. Most of his memories of interaction--that don’t include Jumin because these boys have the best bro hugs and chill FIGHT ME--were awkward and uncomfortable. All that came to mind were the moments when his father would place a hand or an arm around his shoulder to prove to everyone except the one person that mattered that he was a wonderful, affectionate father. Even with Rika the halcyon days of their love were few, for all the comforting moments in each other’s arms there were far greater marked with terror, reluctance, and shadow. It’s enough that by the time MC reaches him he is extremely hesitant to reach out or connect with a person that way. The first time she hugs him he is shell-shocked, not because of the MC’s bold approach, but the extent to which her warmth soothed him. It was staggering--a complete mystery--the way his arms moved on their own to pull her closer and lose himself in that gentleness. Touching somebody was no longer a means to communicate something or a forced accommodation; as with Jumin or his mother or even Rika.
No.
Now it was a matter of need; he craved the closeness of her form to his. His greatest indulgence is simply laying with her in the still of the afternoon sun, drowsy and bathed in sunlight as he listens to the steadfast beating of her heart; the most beautiful sound in all the world to him, the sound that saved him. On the nights where nightmares strike or he relapses in his trauma it’s the only thing that can give him peace. Whether his head lies featherlight against her chest or his lips rest against the thrumming of her pulse--faced tucked into her neck as she runs her hands gently through his hair--it never fails to brighten his mood.
As such this boy does not hesitate after his initial caution; he can always be seen holding her hand, pressing light kisses to her temple or the crown of her head, shoulders and thighs touching whenever they’re seated together and his head is always leaning slightly toward hers (the entire RFA finds it adorable as all hell how he looks like a happy lil hermit crab and Jumin marvels at how different he is with her, has to stifle the rush of emotion that comes with seeing his friend genuinely happy for the first time. “Kindly keep your evaluations to yourself Luciel, why would I do something as absurd as cry over something like this” THIS BOI IS HOLDING BACK TEARS DON’T LET THE WINE FOOL YOU)
Who makes the bed? 
MC, in that Jihyun???? Doesn’t even think about it, it was just always done for him. Though he starts to make an effort as soon as he notices MC is rather meticulous about it, until she reassures him that it’s a personal habit rather than something she can’t stand to see undone. Even so, if he gets up last he’ll make it anyway henceforth. Whenever MC spots the corners smoothed and tucked in neatly her heart melts at his genuine desire to meet her halfway.
Who has the weird taste in music? 
Definitely Jihyun. I am a firm believer that his mother had a modest record collection that he’s added to ever since what happened, and he just has a whole room full of them now. Some are classics, some are more recent, and others are just plain random finds but he loves them all. He remembers the exact day he bought at least half of them, and prefers to listen to music this way. It makes him feel closer to his mother, and there’s just something about the sound that feels... soulful, more real somehow. Ever since he brought her there for a midnight twirl it’s tradition for them to dance together once a month to a song of their choosing. Under the light of the stars there’s a lot of giggling and thoughtful swaying, a quiet night to indulge in the beauty of their love and shared closeness.
Who is more protective? 
I feel like MC would be given the circumstances. In that--though Jihyun did a lot of soul-searching and learned how to love himself first before returning to MC to even approach her about a relationship--MC saw him at his absolute lowest point. So I think she would be very aware of who interacted with Jihyun and what their intentions were, though not in the jealous sense; just because she was worried somebody might say or do something that would take him back to those moments when he was struggling in his life. Though Jihyun might be better now she knows that some days are harder than others, and she’s always there to provide all the encouragement and patience he needs when he gets a little too stubborn or down on himself. I also think there might be times when people take advantage of Jihyun’s silence and easygoing nature for their own ends, something that MC looks out for and subtly draws the line where he might fail to notice or feel uncomfortable voicing directly.
That said I think Jihyun is extremely protective too (I mean jesus the lengths he goes to to protect the RFA), just in a more subtle way that may not be noticeable to some. I think it would be the silent gestures, little things he did without comment or fanfare--but MC notices and loves him all the more for it; like how he never lets her walk on the part of the sidewalk closest to the street or tactfully diverts the attention of somebody being hostile towards her. Even in more extreme situations he doesn’t get aggressive, rather his retaliations are like the sudden autumn breeze; soft and swift but no less chilling. He’s the kind of person who says something offhand that seems neutral or polite but hours later the person wakes up shook at how badly they were roasted by our blue angel. He’s always afraid MC will think he’s scary in those rare moments where his temper gets the best of him, but she secretly finds it kinda hot holy shit.
Who sings in the shower? 
MCCCCC and Jihyun melts on the spot. He thinks it’s the cutest, purest habit ever. But he doesn’t want to disturb her so he’ll pretend he doesn’t hear it or doesn’t notice. It’s only when he’s humming the songs she was singing that she figures it out, and Jihyun sheepishly admits that he always loves it when she sings and was afraid of making her uncomfortable. He tells her that she’s always welcome to sing around the house as much as she likes, and always loves coming home to her trilling lightly. He finds her voice very soothing, whether it be a low lullaby just for him or a showtune. Sometimes he joins her with his bright tenor if he knows the song, but he’s so bashful and she’s so touched they both end up red by the end. After a little while though they trade lines easily, playful and a little dramatic; especially if it’s a well-known love song or the like.
Who cries during movies? 
Jihyun actually, he’s such a softie he tears up easy and pushes his face into MC’s shoulder, mumbling and a little mortified. She’ll let out a little giggle at his embarrassment, cupping his face and placing light kisses all over in an attempt to soothe him as she settles into his lap. She can hear his pout when he tells her he’s fine, but the tender look on her face makes him return to the cradle of her arms; content to find comfort in her warmth.
Who spends the most while out shopping? 
Jihyun. Not intentionally though, he’s just so used to never really being concerned about price tags that he doesn’t pay close attention. He’s only marginally more well-versed than Jumin is about normal living, something that’s easy to forget in the face of his remarkable sensibilities. I don’t know MC, how much does cereal usually cost $50? No Jihyun, cereal is not $50.
Who kisses more roughly? 
Jihyun. Though this boy is almost always sweet and languid, there will be days where he has trouble hiding just how much he loves her and wants her. Even so his rough is only a mildly more intense version of his usual self. His hands will hold fast to her waist, one moving up to her chin to coax her mouth to his at his favorite angle. Pulling one thigh over his hip as he desperately seeks her taste, relentless and engulfing, his MC will soon be dazed with need and gripping his arms. It won’t be long before he tugs and bites lightly on her lower lip, enjoying her answering shiver as things get a little rougher than he might intend. He just needs more of those delighted sighs, the sound of his name, that loving look; more of her holding him warm and tight and irrevocably here, more and more until that’s all he can think about. The next morning he’ll notice her soreness and the dark marks scattered across her chest with immense concern, feeling terrible; but MC always reassures him that she’s not remotely upset. It’s a rather rare occurrence however, perhaps if the sheer extent of his ardor gets the better of him on off days or she wears something particularly flattering.
Who is more dominate? 
I’d say they’re about even, but admittedly MC is probably a smidge moreso. Jihyun is rather easygoing, so he doesn’t really mind who takes charge as long as they’re both happy and comfortable however they decide to be. He appreciates it when she’s confident and honest about what she wants, it helps him relax and keep from overthinking too much.
My rating of the ship 1-10: 
Honestly Cheritz’s execution of their relationship was a spot-on 10/10 for me because the entire relationship was so healthy and good. Jihyun’s MC loves him purely for who he is; the entire route is spent helping him bring the broken pieces of his life back together simply because she wants to help instead of romancing him, which is something Jihyun desperately needs at this point in time. MC’s love is unconditional in the healthiest sense, in that her affection serves to reassure him without attachments. She’s not supporting him in the hopes that she’ll get a relationship out of this, she’s supporting him because her heart is breaking to see him in pain. She’s supporting him because she truly wants him to heal and be happy and live for the first time in his life, even if that means he’ll choose someone else. Because in truth, the last thing Jihyun needs is a relationship after what happened with Rika. The only way you can Good End is by giving him the time he needs to understand and love himself--two years of self-discovery--before he sheepishly approaches you with the hope that you’ll still have him. (Fun fact I sobbed at that part because???? God he’s just so pure and earnest and doing his best and I was so, so proud of him for healing so beautifully and finding himself kill me get the tissues of course I’ll be your gf Jihyun it would be my honor). In short, my love for Jihyun is endless and he deserves to be eternally happy with his MC thank you.
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After this last episode with the making the 'batsuit' scene you should totally do a story about the first time Claire made some sort of costume for Bree
For the first time in my life, I cursed my juvenile disinterest in sewing. As a child, I’d mended clothes out of sheer necessity, the rigor of constant travel taking its toll on my shirts and trousers. I had cared little for skill back then, regarding the whole affair as a tedious chore that kept me from more important duties—namely, dusting off bones for Lamb.
As an adult, I was a surgeon, but even that seemed to do me no favors. Despite my professional expertise—how many wounds had I stitched with far sharper tools on far more delicate materials? —it seemed I still couldn’t manage a bloody Halloween costume. In previous years, I’d simply bought one or asked Millie, our neighbor, for a helping hand at the cost of a bottle of wine.
My break from tradition was inspired by a recent conversation, whereupon it was revealed—to the horror of several Betty Crocker types—I had no plans to slave over a Singer for the sake of my daughter’s trick-or-treating.
“Oh, but you must,” one woman had said.
“Your child would so appreciate it,” another had chimed in.
“She’ll be the only one whose mother didn’t make her costume.”
I’d rather thought Bree wouldn’t notice either way, she being the sort who’d drape a sheet over her head, stare through two circular cut-outs, and cry “Boo!” as if she were the most convincing ghost in the world. But the women’s scornful expressions had stayed with me, stirring up feelings I hadn’t felt since I’d arrived in America: a nagging self-consciousness; a desperate need to prove myself.
Bree was ecstatic when I informed her that I, not Millie, would be making her costume this Halloween, and what was it she’d like to be? Frank’s incessant prattling about the monarchy had clearly made an impression. Of all things, Bree had chosen Queen Elizabeth II, who’d been crowned the year before.
If I’d known how complicated it would be, I might have scrapped the project altogether and thrust expensive merlot in Millie’s face. Being without such hindsight, I now had a half-constructed dress that looked more like a war casualty than a royal ballgown.
“You sodding bastard,” I barked at the sewing machine.
My daughter, sitting not five feet away, looked up from her book with a delighted smirk. I groaned, already envisioning the moment Frank would walk through the door, greeted by an oral report of the day’s linguistic infractions (most of them mine). Though Bree shared her biological father’s penchant for mischief, she’d adopted the English reserve of the man who raised her. With frequent lapses, of course—she, after all, was my child too.
“Mama,” she tsked now, “you know what that means…” Smiling, she pointed towards the table beneath the window, which sat littered with the odds and ends of our daily life. The dried stems of pressed flowers sprouted from a medical textbook. A dog toy, practically chewed into oblivion, sat beside Frank’s corn cob pipe—a habit he’d taken up as a way of ingratiating himself to Harvard’s social circles. At the center of it all, however, stood the glass jar whose cheery label, “SWEAR BANK,” had become the bane of my existence.
Two weeks ago, Frank and I had been called to Bree’s school on the grounds of discussing a recent misbehavior. Our daughter, it seemed, had a fondness for words that were unsuitable to a woman of 35, much less a girl of 6. The principal’s meaningful looks had plainly indicated he knew where—or from whom—Brianna had received her vocabulary lessons.
“Children, you know,” he’d said, leaning forwards. “They don’t just learn these things by themselves. I think some disciplinary action could be taken at home…”
And so it was by Principal Gellar’s suggestion that we—the Randalls of ill repute—came to use a swear jar. For every curse, the delinquent had to add two quarters, with each subsequent offense requiring double that amount. A mild punishment, I’d thought, until it was obvious that losing pocket change wasn’t sufficient inducement to watch my own mouth.
Because of this, it was agreed that I prepare a proper dinner—from scratch, not frozen—if I exceeded my daily max of five swear words. Frank promised to exchange his loose leaf tea for Lipton’s, should he do the same, though this was more a demonstration of his superiority than his solidarity. Unless provoked, he rarely said more than the occasional “damn” in Bree’s presence.
Rummaging through the purse at my feet, I extracted money from my wallet.
“There,” I said, giving it to Bree. “Happy?”
Bills in one hand, Bree counted her fingers on the other, “That’s six today, Mama,” she said, still smirking. “So what’s for dinner?”
I snorted and motioned her towards me. “Well, if you want this costume finished, I’ll have to take a rain check.” I looked at the chaos strewn about my work table. “A two-week rain check.”
“I guess that’s okay,” Bree said, skipping over to my side. “Daddy and I will have meatloaf tonight, and you can have soap.”
I laughed. It always baffled me how my child—once a gurgling thing with an untamable cowlick—had transformed into a human capable of swear words and jokes.
As they always did when Bree came close, one of her hands automatically rested on my head, tiny fingers submerging themselves in a tousle of curls. They found the tender patch behind my ears, beginning an idle massage that expelled all tension from my body.
She’d done this as a baby—then, with a naïve curiosity; now, by the simple force of habit. It reminded me of someone else, though I knew it was merely coincidence and not some genetic trait passed down through the centuries. Still, the small fingers always grew larger in my mind—pads turned to callous and nails made blunt—as they moved in slow, gentle circles towards my temples. I could hear Gaelic, spoken softly, and see a calmness wash over a startled horse, as it now washed over me.
I shook the memory away, and returned to the disaster cascading into my lap.
Really, there was no hope for it. Uneven hems. Too-large and crooked stitches. The circumference of one shirtsleeve would fit someone’s thigh, not Bree’s skinny arm.
“Smudge,” I sighed, “perhaps this wasn’t a good idea. I mean—” I gestured at the clumsy mess before me, and Bree removed her hand.
She leaned closer, head tilted to examine the work I’d done until her expression turned into one of obvious resolve. “I could always be a hobo,” she said matter-of-factly. “Or a garbage man.”
In that moment, I swear I had never loved her more.
Clearly unconcerned, Bree flopped down on the couch, and asked, “What’d you dress up as when you were a kid, Mama?”
“Come to think of it, I can only remember one Halloween,” I said, sitting back. “I was a little older than you, and my outfit was a hodge-podge of things. Somewhere between Indiana Jones and a girl who raided a closet, blindfolded.”
As a vagabond who drifted from continent and continent, Halloween never seemed to cross Lamb’s mind. A brief lecture, perhaps, about its pagan origins—but there was none of the pomp and circumstance one would see today. Being only vaguely aware of the holiday’s existence myself, I had never found us lacking for it. Our days were already filled with adventures, strange characters, and the spirits of years past.
It was one of Lamb’s colleagues—a charismatic American named Tom—who put forth the notion we hold a celebration of our own. Even I, who by this time was more adult than child, couldn’t resist the idea of being someone else, swapping ghost stories under a full moon, and gorging myself on sweets.
Lamb, bless his soul, was more than happy to oblige me. It was a belated birthday present of sorts, as October 20th, 1926 had passed in whirlwind of sand and dirt. The more immediate concerns of suffocation and hazardous winds had taken precedence over cake and candles that day.
Lamb and Tom took me to the market one morning, each of us bouncing from stall to stall to inspect the wares. After hours of browsing, we’d managed to scrape together a rudimentary costume, though it had none of the frills, silks, or skirts Tom had assumed I’d want.
“Are you sure you don’t want to be a princess?” he’d said, regarding me sideways. At the insistent (and fiftieth) shake of my head, Lamb had clapped Tom on the back with a jovial smile, reminding him that I was a girl who preferred slouch hats to tiaras. I recall grinning up at him, then, and taking his hand as we walked back to camp. In truth, I think I’d just wanted to be Lamb for a night.
And so there I was days later: a poor man’s cowgirl astride an invisible horse, galloping through the nearby village in search of treats. Naturally, few people were prepared for the presence of my wild-eyed, boyish self at their door. But most smiled at my requests—all spoken with a pitiful Southern twang—and indulged me with whatever they could spare. Lamb, meanwhile, stood at my side—an elderly pirate-guard who assured them we were not, in fact, bandits.
We returned to camp at sundown with a sack full of furry, odorous, and glittering miscellany slung across my shoulder. Against all sense, someone had given me a pack of cigars, and I placed one between my lips. Knees braced and arranging my hands into a finger gun, I did my best Butch Cassidy impression as Lamb inspected the bag for other inappropriate goods.
“That stuff ain’t yours, old man,” I’d said, words mumbled by the cigar. “Stick ‘em up.”
Lamb had hooted, crying, “Excellent, my dear! Just marvelous!” and took a seat across the fire. His head bent before a lit match, the flame lighting the end of one of the contraband cigars.
What I remember most, though, was his face when he looked up at me. My cheeks were flushed beneath a layer of grime. My too-long pants were pooled around my feet, while my dark hair was pulled into a bushy ponytail. I imagine I’d been the image of freedom and recklessness—a person who appreciated the simplest of joys, like dress-up and too much sugar.
“You’ve always favored your mother, Claire. But I daresay that right now…” And here, Lamb’s eyes had shimmered, his expression grown suddenly soft. “Right now I see so much of your father in you.”
“Mama?” A voice broke through the haze of my memory. “Mama, were you listening to me?”
“Hmm?” I said distractedly, slowly returning to the present. Shaking her head, Bree said, “Maybe next year I could be a cowgirl too?” before launching onto an entirely different topic.
Seeing my daughter chatting confidently away, her hands fluttering with the excitement of conversation, of being with someone…Seeing her hair catch the sinking sun and the mischief inside her curving mouth—a mouth that would never cease to amaze me with its jokes and its compliments and its observations. Seeing these things, and how her slanted blue eyes took in her shabby costume—unbothered by its inelegance but appreciative of the work I’d put into it—I thought I saw so much of her father in her too.
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crimsonrevolt · 7 years
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Congratulations Bret you’ve been accepted to Crimson Revolt as Arabella Figg!
↳ please refer to our character checklist
Ahhh Bret!! You have no idea how incredibly happy I was to see this application in our submit. That you wanted to come back as Arabella was an absolute highlight to my day and obviously we’re thrilled to have you back! You take a character who could so easily be overlooked or stereotyped and bring her to life in all her complexities and insecurities -- and that spark of strength that makes her invaluable to the Order and to the roleplay itself. Arabella is such a beautiful character who I never paid much attention to until you made me fall in love with her, and I can’t wait to see you explore her journey in the war further! *your faceclaim change to whichever one of those three you want has been accepted!
sapplication beneath the cut; tw: mentions of death (in para sample)
OUT OF CHARACTER
INTRODUCTION
Bret, 25, EST. She/Her pronouns.
ACTIVITY
7/10. I disappeared off the face of the planet for about a week and a half for very, very personal reasons.  So much was leading up to that time so I’m glad it’s over. Everything is now under control, and my search for a new job as a result has given me a lot of free time. I’m not attending school for a while, either, so I’ll be around often in the evenings.
TRIGGERS
*removed for privacy
HOW DID YOU FIND US?
I was around for a very long time and I don’t really remember how I got here. A member told me about it before it opened, I think?
WHAT HARRY POTTER CHARACTER DO YOU IDENTIFY WITH MOST?
Bellatrix Black, honestly. I don’t really know why but I remember reading the books when she was introduced and just thinking, “She’s this incredible, psychopathic character that needs more backstory.” I don’t necessarily feel that I connect with her on a personal level, but I had so many feelings for her that it led me to roleplaying, etc. When I was younger Bellatrix was the sort of character I loved because she wasn’t just evil, she was absolutely insane. And her whole family was mentioned to be so as well. That was interesting to me.
ANYTHING ELSE?
I feel guilty as hell for just leaving without saying anything. I’ll forever be sorry but now that I have my muse and my time managed, I’m gonna apply to see if you guys will give me a second chance! (And if you won’t, I will never take it personally!!!!)
IN CHARACTER
DESIRED CHARACTER
Arabella Figg
FACE CLAIM
Tatiana Maslany, Chyler Leigh, or Gemma Arterton.
REASON FOR CHOSEN CHARACTER
I cannot stop thinking about Arabella Figg. I will never be able to stop thinking about the Squib who fought for equality on the front lines with as much strength as any witch could muster. There is a reason that she was allowed to be a part of the Order with zero magical abilities, and I think that is because she brought something new to the table. She is tireless, enduring, and strong. Though the war has been pressing a firm hand to her chest, Arabella has pushed back with just as much force. There is much on the line for her, and it isn’t just her life. It’s her freedom to be who she is, to bring a child up in the world, to watch her friends thrive and succeed without fear. If she gave up she’d be losing a chance at equality for others like her. And that’s not something Arabella Figg can knowingly do.
This is a character that I cannot easily forget. I want more of a chance to explore her background, her future, her friendships, and her romances. Even through nights of pouring over books and records, or training in Muggle defense, or even having a pint at the bar, she is endlessly devoted. To friends, to war efforts, to family - Arabella has always, and will always, be there to lend a hand. But being a Squib comes with its own drawbacks, of which she has trouble forgetting. She will never be able to wield such power despite daydreams and wishes. And while her closest friends have assured her that they don’t care what her backgrounds are, Arabella cannot help but wonder if there’s a spark of pity in their eyes. But that’s just another piece of her life that I want to explore, to see whether she ever overcomes the discrimination and her own self-doubt, or not.
PREFERRED SHIPS // CHARACTER SEXUALITY // GENDER & PRONOUNS
Arabella/Chemistry, lesbian, she/her.
From the time she was fifteen, Arabella knew she was a lesbian. It was a feeling she had pushed away from childhood brought out by a hidden kiss at a small party. The kiss changed her life, and not because it was good. It was all clumsy lips, awkward giggles, and eventual apologies - but it brought something to life. A beacon of sunlight in an otherwise dimly lit place. A moment of self awareness as she stared at a girl just as confused as she was, both questioning their own desires, and neither able to come to terms. It took her over ten years to fully understand who she was, and to realize that the world was slower to catch up.
While her friends know of her sexuality, she keeps the rest of the world far away from the truth. She is already a Squib and Arabella fears that being an outed lesbian will further her isolation in both of the worlds that she loves dearly. But she isn’t ashamed of her sexuality in the slightest, in fact she’s grown to become fond of her adulthood and desires. It took too long of a time to admit it to herself but now that she has, Arabella is finally content.  
CREATE ONE (OR MORE!) OF THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR CHARACTER:
headcanons.
x. Arabella Figg has hated breakfast since she was a little girl, but not because of the food itself. If it is before eleven in the morning, she cannot roll out from under a pile of cats and faux fur blankets, or slip into a robe and think of coffee, eggs, and toast. In fact, if she is woken up before her usual time, she is massively feisty and becomes rather inconsolable. Unless, of course, you were to kiss her eyelids, her nose, her cheeks, and then her lips: that’s the only way to coax her out earlier than intended. And since she rarely finds herself with a bed partner, Arabella is free to be as lazy as she wants and cooks up what should have been morning food, in the afternoon instead. This only serves to push her lunch and dinner back several hours, and is why she stays up so late at night. Not that she minds, of course, because she can sleep until noon without a worry in the world.
x. Dorian had been her best friend for eight years before they married. It came as a last resort, when Arabella began feeling pressures to prove her heterosexuality to those who questioned it. He was there when she asked, and around for three years before their unusual relationship began to unravel. If he hadn’t gotten sick, she believes they would still be living under their facade. But his resulting anger, the divorce, and his death came as almost a blessing - guilty as she is to admit it - to her sexual freedom.
x. Her first kneazle was old and fat, but he followed her around as closely as any dog. It was through her love for him that she adopted two more, and then a third, and then began breeding. She quit her temp job in London and made the decision to sell her litters of kittens across the country. They were inexpensive, so long as she ensured their safety, and it paid for the cottage she now lives in. Arabella always has at least two litters going at a time.
IN CHARACTER QUESTIONNAIRE
♔ If you were able to invent one spell, potion, or charm, what would it do, what would you use it for or how would you use it? Feel free to name it:
“You’re giving me a lot of power here. I mean, it’s obvious that I would want to invent a potion to give myself magical abilities. All Squibs, actually. But I could also end the war, or cure all diseases, or even take away all magic! This is too much responsibility. I-I’m sorry, I don’t think I can answer this.”
♔ You have to venture deep into the Forbidden Forest one night. Pick one other character and one object (muggle or magical), besides your wand, that you’d want with you:
“Hmm…I’ve never seen the Forbidden Forest. I’ve heard terrible stories…ghost stories, basically. Things that went bump in the night and jumped out of the shadows. I’d never willingly go. But, alright, I’d bring a flashlight. I can’t magic so I’d want that, at least. Then I’d bring Molly Weasley, or someone like her. Strong, resourceful, protective…I’d feel safest around her.”
♔ What kinds of decisions are the most difficult for you to make?
“Quick, emergency ones. I’m no good under pressure. Sometimes I…I talk in circles until I can get out of whatever situation I’m in, but it rarely works anymore. I’m just not as…resourceful as I want to be. I need to learn if I’m ever going to live through this war.”
♔ What is one thing you would never want said about you?
“That I’m filthy, or anything lesser than any other human being walking this planet. I’m a Squib, that’s all. There’s nothing wrong with me. So why do others get to judge my blood, or my abilities, or w-whatever? I’m a human. And a Squib. And they have no reason to say anything.”
WRITING SAMPLE
You’re not a witch, Arabella.” The words cut like a knife across her rapidly beating heart, and her arms flew up instinctively to press against her chest, as if that might protect her from the verbal blows. It felt like she had been gutted from her twisted abdomen to the center of her throat, and all that spilled out was her courage and her strength. Her lips parted but only the whistle of air punctured the tense silence between them. How could there be anything left to say when he had ruined their relationship in just five words? How could she trust anyone after this man hurt her so deeply, shattered her bones like they were meant to be broken, and left her soul to wither? “Stop pretending to yourself.”
“Shut up.” She whispered, blinking away the heat of tears before they were able to fall. If there was one thing she didn’t want, it was for him to see her cry. They seemed to do this dance more often now that they had been married for too long with no love, no lust, no nothing. He disliked everything she was trying to do, and she disliked everything about him. But they had liked each other once, right? She remembered they had been good friends and when she had proposed the idea of marriage to hide her sexuality, he was eager to oblige. Sometimes she thought he was homosexual, too, but never wanted to ask.
And now they were fighting all the time, and they didn’t even have a relationship to back it up. She couldn’t divorce him, and he was growing sicker every day, and she was so afraid of being left alone that sometimes she thought this sham of a marriage was worth it. But then he said those words, the words she knew to be true but didn’t want to admit, and she could feel her body crushing under the weight of emotional pain. How could he be so cruel when she just wanted to help? Was it because he was a wizard who chose not to practice? Was it because he had that choice?
“What?” He asked, lips turning into a thin line. “I’m not trying to hurt you, I just want you to see your disadvantage-“
“Shut. Up!” The words erupted from her mouth before she could stop them, louder and stronger than she thought possible, and Arabella felt her entire world reforming with the sound. Dorian was just another man trying to put her down, he wasn’t a woman she loved, and he wasn’t a friend she cared for anymore. Friends didn’t speak to others like that. “You shut your goddamn mouth. I’m twice a witch than I am a muggle, alright? I deserve that title more than the kids who went to Hogwarts. More than you.” She backed away, her hands curling into fists as they lowered to her side.
“You don’t have a choice in the matter.” He was so fucking calm, she wanted to scream.
“I know who I am, okay? I’m a squib, I know that, but I make enough contributions to the magical world than I ever would as a fucking accountant or whatever you want me to do. You don’t get to make my choices for me. Only I get a say in how I live my life.” He opened his mouth, but she didn’t allow him to speak. “We shouldn’t have married, Dorian. I hid who I was for years because I thought it would make my life easier, but it hasn’t. You’ve ruined me. I despise that about you.”
“I know you do.” Silence. He broke eye contact and looked at the ground, the tension of the air growing heavier with his words. “I’m dying, Bella.”
“No.” She hissed, pushing past him to open their front door. “You don’t get to turn this around. Go, be with your parents, but get the fuck out of my house. I don’t want to see you right now. Maybe never again, because I will never forgive you for what you’ve done to me. Or who you’ve become.” The guilt was thick as it settled over her chest, but Arabella stood beside the door with all the courage she could muster. Dorian shuffled to it and stared at her, hoping for eye contact, waiting. “Just go.” She murmured, the tears heavy as they ran down her face, and he didn’t respond as he walked out of sight.
It was the last time she saw him before he died.
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How to Change Your Life With The Law Of Attraction
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” - Rumi Johanna, a college student from Kuala Lumpur, had been struggling to finish her studies. She was living in a dorm with other students, and had trouble making ends meet. Learn how to manifest anything with miracle manifestation.Go here Johanna was on a scholarship which meant she needed to keep her grades high while working part-time to support her living expenses. Strapped for time and resources, she barely got by and started feeling burnt out. If Johanna wasn't hitting the books, she was working. Everything started to become a blur and she was losing motivation to keep going. It got so bad that Johanna even thought about telling her parents she couldn't do it anymore and drop out from college. But then a classmate from her philosophy class introduced her to the Law of Attraction. Jacques, a foreign exchange student from Canada, had been reading up on it and applied it in his own life. According to him, it had helped him manifest a solution to his own problems. He had lived in an abusive home growing up, and Jacques leaned how to shift his thinking and perspective to change his circumstances. Johanna wasn't sure at first what to make of it, but she took Jacques word for it and started applying its principles in her own life. Click Here To Discover the Lazy Person's Secret To Get Everything You've Ever Wished For. After she made a shift in her own mindset and attitude, Johanna started to experience some positive changes. She eventually quit her part-time job and found another one with better pay and hours which helped with her living expenses. It also helped free up her time, so she managed to study AND start a side income project selling items online. Johanna ended up growing her side business so much that she got Jacques to help her manage it. By the end of the academic year, she had turned into a completely different person. Johanna was no longer the depressed, burned out student from before. She had become a self-sufficient student and even made the dean's list! The Power of Changing Your Focus Sometimes, we get so discouraged that we feel powerless to change our situation. Like Johanna, we fall into a FIXED mindset where we think things will stay the same and we can't do anything about it. But the only way to break out of this negative spiral is by changing your INNER world. This is the key to influencing your external world so you can move forward in life. In a nutshell, the Law of Attraction is a way of living that requires you to change your frequency. When you do this, the Universe will pick up your signal and your life will change for the better. As for the frequency I mentioned, this is basically the vibration of energy that your mind gives off. You can either operate at a high or low vibration, and each type will give you a specific result. Most people don't realize they're giving off low frequency energy, which is actually making their situation worse. Click Here To Discover the Lazy Person's Secret To Get Everything You've Ever Wished For  The main problem is when you attach your emotions to your external circumstances. For instance, it's easy to feel bad when you're broke. And naturally, it's just as easy feel the opposite if you had money in the bank. Similarly, seeing other people in a happy, romantic relationship will make you bitter and angry if you're single. And so on… I'm not saying it's wrong to feel bad about things like that. However, you shouldn't use your circumstances (and how you FEEL about them) as an excuse to STOP trying. People fail to realize that NOT doing anything about their situation will only make them feel WORSE. And this further traps them in a vicious cycle of negativity and inaction. Thus, the Law of Attraction will help you install a more positive attitude in your consciousness. This keeps your mind from being overrun by negativity - and more importantly, give you the leverage to BREAK FREE from your situation. With some practice, your thoughts and actions will effortlessly work together to attract positive circumstances in your life. But where should you start? Here are some ways to put the Law of Attraction into action and start creating massive changes: #1: Share Your Gifts to the World The Bible talks about the power of giving, and how it outweighs the benefits of getting. But no matter what your faith or beliefs are, it helps to think of generosity on a LARGER SCALE. Giving is more than just a virtue - it's a type of cosmic currency. When you perform acts of kindness or share your resources for no other reason than WANTING TO, you're putting this currency into circulation. And soon enough, this positive energy you send into the world - and the Universe as a whole - will find its way back to you. You won't get it in the same form, but it will come around, one way or another. I know that sometimes, giving feels like the LAST thing you want to do - especially when your own life is lacking in some capacity. Why bother extending yourself when you've got enough to worry about for yourself? But that's exactly the point. Giving - even when you THINK you can't - will prove that this is a FALSE perception. Let your acts of generosity serve as a reminder to everyone that in spite of everything, life IS and will ALWAYS be abundant. Trust in the infinite energy of the Universe and tune into its unique frequency. Your selflessness is the key to that. A generous attitude raises the quality of the vibrations you send out into the world. Escaping the scarcity mindset and the fear of not having enough is one of the most liberating things you can do. By doing so, you're FREE to improve the lives of others - and yours in the process. Click Here To Learn How To Use Destiny Tuning To Manifest The Life You Want #2: Stop hanging out with losers I don't mean to sound judgmental, but there are people in your life that will try to drag you down, whether they're aware of it or not. You should avoid them at all costs. People in a bad situation will try to feel better about themselves by spreading their toxic way of thinking to others. They pull others down with their hurtful words, or convince them that they're not good enough. Instead of doing something about their own situation, it's easier to go down this dark path and take everyone else with them. And the Law of Attraction states that when you focus on something, the Universe will feed you more of the SAME. So the good news is that you can choose to avoid this downward spiral and get on another path instead. This is why you need to be careful about the company you keep. Choose the people that can share their constructive energy with you. If their attitude, mindset and words lift you up, you know you're in the right place. Their energy is contagious, and you'll naturally raise your own frequency and attract only good things in your life. As for toxic people, I know there are times when you simply can't avoid them. They could be family, friends, or co-workers - and you might be even living with some of them. It's a challenge for sure, but do your best not to let their negative energy get to you. You don't have to butt heads with them and simply respond with positivity. If you're in a conversation with them, try to frame it in a healthy, positive way so you don't get sucked into their toxic field of gravity. You don't have to change their mind; just take the “agree to disagree” route and leave it at that. Who knows, your own energy might “rub off” on their consciousness. They might even think about what you told them and re-evaluate their own perspective. #3: Get out from under the grind We all have our lives to lead, and that means falling into a routine. Now, don't get me wrong - having structure in your life is important and even necessary. At a basic level, we need it to function on a daily basis. Incorporating helpful habits into your everyday routine is a GOOD thing. However, there is a danger in being TOO embedded in it and shutting yourself off to trying NEW things. Sticking too closely to your routine could make you afraid of the unfamiliar and uncomfortable - and hinder your GROWTH in the process. So if you want to attract new and exciting things into your life, you should carve out some room for that. Click Here To Read 7 law of attraction tips that will actually make your life better  Doing things that help you grow ALWAYS has a place in a well-balanced life. A stable, healthy routine is the best way to avoid a soul-crushing existence. What are the things that inspire you? Outside of your usual chores and duties, what gives you a sense of fulfillment - even if it doesn't pay the bills? People usually shoot down any desire for this because they're afraid they “don't have enough time.” But you'll see just how flimsy that excuse is once you actually take the plunge and spend that time you didn't think you had. In as little as half an hour, you could engage in a fulfilling pursuit. Find (or rekindle) a hobby, take up an online course or watch free videos. Let it energize your senses, inspire you to greatness and empower you to create something wonderful in this world. More than that, you can acquire knowledge to advance you in some way, like learning a skill, for example. I recently came across a post on Twitter that made me smile. It said: “There's too much free information online for y'all not be crushing it in whatever field.” Use your precious time to invest in a better you and express yourself through your passions. Don't worry about the “if”s and “how”s. Just get started with something now, and the rest of your life will adjust to it. You won't know what new avenues will open up UNTIL you get the ball rolling, #4: Quiet your mind Meditation is one habit that goes very well with practicing the Law of Attraction. When you learn how to control your thoughts (instead of the other way around), you're in the best position to manifest the things you want. A lot of people find it challenging to keep their thoughts above water when they're flooded with negative emotions. With meditation, you can take a step back and remove yourself from a situation in a healthy way. There are books, free content online and mobile apps that can help you with this. For instance, I just tried out the Insight app on my phone which is kind of like the YouTube equivalent for meditation. Click Here To Learn How To Use Destiny Tuning To Manifest The Life You Want <= [Link this text via your affiliate link] You can search by a specific person or channel, or even topics like easing anxiety, anger management, and so on. This is a low-maintenance habit which will only take about 10-15 minutes daily. You could even spend five minutes if you're really strapped for time! This basically works by sitting down on the floor (or a chair) and closing your eyes. The idea is to take slow, measured breaths and pay attention to the physical sensations you're feeling at the moment. Are your muscles tense? Is your heart beating quickly from the stress you're currently experiencing? These are some of the things to be mindful of as you breathe in and out. If any other thoughts enter your mind, don't resist it. Don't chase after them and just let it pass. Then you can go back to focusing on the rhythm of your breath. Take this time to focus on the feelings of love, health, success and prosperity. In other words, the things you want to ATTRACT. Concentrate your attention on inhaling and exhaling. Once you've calmed your mind enough, you're ready visualize the things you want to manifest in life. This will have a powerful effect on your subconscious and put you on the path towards your goals. And that brings us to the last life-changing habit… #5: Affirmations Muhammad Ali, one of the greatest boxers in history, was known for saying, “What you're thinking is what you're becoming.” Indeed. That attitude helped him become what he was, and it will serve you well, too. Most of the time, people don't pay attention to the kind of thoughts they hold in their heads. Left unchecked, they often feed into a toxic narrative they have about themselves without realizing it. Like I said earlier, what you put in your subconscious affects you. The things you tell yourself are like seeds you plant in your mind and they'll grow over time. Those same thoughts will express themselves in your actions and the choices you make. So, you need to be careful which seeds you plant. Joseph Murphy, author of the book, “The Power of the Subconscious Mind”, tells us that this part of your mind can't distinguish which thoughts are real or imagined. As far as it's concerned, your subconscious will treat it as FACT whether it's happening in the physical world or NOT. Thus, people don't just operate on these subconscious beliefs. Without being aware of it, they're turning their thoughts into reality. And it WILL happen - one way or another. The perception you have about yourself is largely influenced by the people you had around while growing up. Their input - whether good or bad - left a mark on your subconscious that's hard to shake off. And this programming kicks in whenever you make decisions and it dictates how you respond to tough times. This inner dialogue can act as your inner voice of confidence and self-assurance… …or as in most people's cases, it's the voice of fear and self-doubt. You might think you're not good enough or smart enough because you couldn't stop the bad things from happening. You curse yourself for messing things up, then blame it on some pre-assigned character defect. Usually, it's in the form of labels like “Loser”, “Hopeless Case”, “Slacker”, “Weirdo” and so on. But remember, these labels only have as much power over as you ALLOW it. You can apply the Law of Attraction to change this inner chatter and rewire your mind for success instead. It's impossible to attract wealth, abundance and happiness if you're focused on putting yourself down. Click Here To Learn How to Force the Universe to Manifest Your Dream Life <= [Link this text via your affiliate link] You can do the opposite by using encouraging statements that will empower you to take action. Here are some examples to try during your meditation sessions:
Affirmations that span across time: Think about what's already happened, what's happening now, and what's yet to come. Then put it all together like this: “BEFORE, I was broke, miserable and hated the world. But I know better NOW and want to turn it around. Things are about to change, and SOON I'll be prosperous, happy and living my dream life.”
Affirmations that are crystal clear: Saying something like “I am loved” or “I am blessed” is a good start, but they're a bit vague. Try elaborating on these ideas and flesh them out even more. Then you'll end up with a statement like “I'm surrounded by people who love and support me. They help me grow as a person and want to see me succeed.” As for being blessed, you can say “I'm blessed with infinite opportunities and resources, and my life is full and abundant.”
Affirmations with an attitude: Another way to supercharge your subconscious is by being a little cheeky with your statements. When that voice of fear and insecurity kicks in, drown out the noise with, “Whatever, I'm amazing at everything I do. I fight like hell and do my best, and I can't hear what you're saying!” Adding some lighthearted humor amplifies your signal and makes it easier for the Universe to hear your thoughts. Try this the next time you're feeling especially down on yourself.
When you improve the quality of your thoughts, it's as if your circumstances will rearrange itself on their own.
These changes will seem to happen without doing much on your part. But the truth is that you're already doing the heavy lifting by disciplining your mind.
Starting today, you can apply these five tips I've just shared with you to create ripples of change in your life.
The more you practice them, the bigger waves will result from your efforts. I hope you make use of this knowledge and empower yourself for greatness.
Before I go, there's ONE MORE gift I'd like to share with you…
It's called the Manifestation Breakthrough Kit, and for a limited time I'm offering it totally FREE of charge.
You can combine this kit with the five tips you just learned to get even BETTER results.
Click HERE to learn how to FORCE the Universe to give you everything you've ever wanted…and MORE!
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dwestfieldblog · 7 years
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THE BEAUTIFUL AND THE WEIRD
But which is witch? It gets so hard to tell...but Love does not switch off, it turns on. So, drown this world in astral fire and cling to the wreckage floating...Welcome again to How I Cheated Death for 2000 Years... 'Perhaps we should kiss and break the tension.' as Homer Simpson said...to Plato. Or Pluto in Hades tomorrow. (Most of this was completed on Friday 20th October, under the influence of night air and music on headphones.)
But all dimensions rejoice, my 3 cds are done...'These songs make me glad I am deaf, I only wish that I were blind also' said Beethoven yesterday, via the astral plane... But another critic writes; 'These songs are better looking than a multi-dimensional parallelogram woman'; said Picasso, three days before a sideways yesterday. Of course I have already done five songs for the next cd, still alive and I need to play and sing before my left eye shades over and my liver explodes. The devil does indeed make work for idol hands. Yes, that's a bad pun. Catch 23. There is no such thing as failure, there is only giving up. I do not give up. WILL not.
Some strange times recently like a time shift around me and a slip into a slightly different dimension which is running parallel to where I was. A disorientated balance which quickly re-adjusted itself (into an accepting understanding) but left the feeling of being on or in another channel. A curving parallel synchronicity like two dolphins in the ocean, tango dancers, eternal twists of D.N.A...or just bloody Laurel and Hardy. Time might kiss and tell...or just rape the flesh of its youth.
God is always watching (too scared to join in) and is said to move in mysterious ways...me too after half a bottle of whisky but that's no excuse for bad behaviour. Jehovah'sVoyeurs...The devil is always listening, so be interesting at least...'The gods and angels of magic are described by the science of the mind as archetypes, while demons have been converted into neuroses.' Or 'Symbols reveal by concealing and conceal by revealing'.  G.Gurvitch
Two weeks ago, I gave some of my students the homework 'Describe Beauty'...that which elevates you, connects your highest self and overthrows your lowest. They all mentioned Nature, babies. Imagine Love.And all it means and how it feels. How you perceive it to be. How it transforms you. Where it takes you. EVOLVES you. Try this at home on a daily basis, stay calm, don't be alarmed. Smiley face time.
Meanwhile once again, far, far away from love...Sock puppets on-line writing inflammatory comments dictated by master manipulators with vested interests in power and money, being read by the gullible looking for others to blame for their own lack of energy (transferring guilt) and projecting themselves onto leaders they believe speak for them. Thus wept Zarathrustra. And around and around we go in an increasingly vicious circle with an ever decreasingspiral of possibilities until something disintegrates beneath the pressure.The normal world, '2017'.
Zuckerberg claiming that Facebook had no Russian propaganda connections during the U.S election...now proved to be absolute bullshit lies. And this guy has designs on a future White House? Wonderful news for the world if we ever get there. President Z should have been Zappa. And Trump, dear Donald, still trying to 'drain the swamp', one tweet at at time...and wondering why he is up to his arse in alligators...
Twitter for twats has expanded the amount of possible characters from140 to a stunning 280. Let the bells (which toll for thee) resound in a deadly, mean, meaningless celebration. More poison freely available across the ethernet. Duck Fart has an extra...errr, (wait a moment for my cognitive processes to do the mathematics)...140 extra letters to use for utter stinking excrement with which to fertilize his realm of truly lost souls. Live like scum, die like scum you disgusting moronic reptile. Cursed for three generations. I woke up in a good mood this morning, yes I did.
Various elections and 'power' shifts taking place, but...'In Capitalism, man exploits man, in Socialism, its exactly the opposite'. Ben Tucker. HA.
I can remember the night before I turned ten years old, writing in a little book, 'For the rest of my life I will have two numbers' and feeling miserable about it, (poor little thing) now I look forward to having 3. Death/wisdom or both simultaneously. They can take my life but they'll never take my freedom. Etc. Drawing down the moon straight into the heart...and...away we go...you were born Ready.
All religion, magick and spiritual disciplines are attempts to bring together, (in Latin -religare -to bind) reconnect, re-establish a link, a bridge between hemispheres of the brain, man within the woman, the female enfolding the male, to become whole, the marriage of the opposites, god and the devil within, Yoga, from the Sanskrit root 'yuj'...meaning to join,  a Harmonic resonance causing phase transition if you will. Will, Go deeper... Self-remembering leads to self reprogramming, erasing learned imprints and replacing them with a new circuitry. 'All forms of purposive activity invoke a higher 'I'. That 'I' will take 'you' over when allowed...and there is the legendary guardian angel, another part of yourself.
EVOLUTION IS INEVITABLE..
Altogether now...Left brain...Active Yang for language and reason. ON. Aware of the passing of time. Right brain...Passive Yin for feeling and intuition. OFF. No sense of time. Anima is the female element in the male unconsciousness. Animus is the male in the female. Every ancient story and creation myth (like Plato's legend of the Gods cutting man in two) is an attempt to explain the polarisation of energies. Every mystic religion is a form of discipline to reconnect the one with the other and then combine with the whole. (Or so I choose to believe and I am just crazy enough to believe my own discoveries.) The horizon comes to you because it is already within. How to make new friends and influence yourself.
(Aha, just read today '....awareness that society is everywhere in conspiracy against intelligence'. Schroedinger's Cat, (R.A.W.) Always wonderful to find that someone vastly more clever and better humoured than I, agrees with me. Makes it all almost worth the while.) I think a lot, (way too much) and it is a pity that I am fairly stoopid because my thoughts could actually be useful occasionally. What serves better, is instinct. (When in doubt, blow the thinking OUT.) Logic is ridiculous in the face of eternity. That's why people on various drugs laugh so much
'Every great discovery had been the breaking of a taboo'.
'When you're ugly and somebody loves you, you know they love you for who you are. Beautiful people never know who to trust.'
The following sentence was in last month's blog, but it came from a useful dream of mine and I like it, whether or not it makes 'sense'...so here it is  again....Creation was caused by focused thought form radiations of ahigher oscillating force upon binary possibility waves...This is more or less, (or much more than) what magick seems to be. A discipline of focus, cause and effect...and everyone can do this in their own forms and fashion, every chord, stroke of the brush, every recipe, secret invention, improvisation on the spur of the moment, every executed plan. Every thought form directed, every cosmic joke, every intuition realised, every kiss which dissolves Ego, every spiked lightning and shiver of orgasm, every channelled catharsis creating reality around you, drawing circumstances towards you. But be Very aware of the power of the subconscious, it works both ways.
As someone evolved might have said; 'When you need to shit, shit.' Anal retentives have a hard time ascending their internal heaps. Process and release, do a finger painting in your own blood if you have to. When dealing with yourself , honesty is always the best policy. White people seem to have it quite bad and English folk all the worse. Once again, everyone has an Ego problem because they have an Ego. (Or something.) And remove the insecure mask of self delusional vanities, some folk were born mediocre but the 'average' can always become more...although that takes focus and the majority are always lazy. They have been trained to be.
Acquiring knowledge is also a matter of losing useless parts of your thinking in tandem with ingesting fascinating teachings. The teacher comes when ready. (HA.) And many, many times, the teacher becomes yourself. You, on another level, reorientating yourself, a helping hand further on. Much depends on trust and most humans learned to be natural manipulators as babies, adults merely refine the negatives. Lessons are everywhere and take thousands of forms, too much to know but One to Be.
I remember reading many years ago of someone asking Buddha if he was a saviour, to which he replied 'I am not'. 'Are you an angel?' No. 'What are you?' The realised man replied; 'I am awake'. And there it was and here it is. At the same time. Almost all of us including myself, are deeply asleep. Somnambulists on a treadmill of daily routine...too busy busy busy with basic survival (and being kept so by the powers that seem to be) to evolve and clamber amoeba like out of the ocean onto land) (F......g terrible mixed metaphor but you get the idea) and as that temporarily French programme from the Matrix said; 'If we do not make time, then 'ow can we take the time?'
Still love the part where he says how much he enjoys the French language because it is the best to curse in; 'It's like wiping your arse with silk'. Wonderful writing. HUMOUR. Ahhh, Sing Swan Song by Can....Melt. She is the mother of Everything and you are her egg...afterglowing...
Shelter, embrace, eat you, drink you consume you, renew you, over and over, higher and higher and OUT. A glorious and total sanity to the very sweetest end.
And as for the 'Here and Now'...This quote from The Tibetan Book of the Dead, could not be much clearer... 'This Truth is that there is no reality behind any of the phenomena of the Bardo plane, save the illusions stored up in one's own mind as accretions from sangsaric experiences. Recognition of this automatically gives Liberation'.
Saw some graffiti yesterday in large letters on the side of a block of grim flats in Prague, translates as; 'YOU CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT UTOPIA'. The definition of Utopia is? Drugs in concrete boxes? A fake temporary connection with an illusory higher self? All addictions weaken. He says, now slurping whisky, eating a chocolate biscuit and smoking a cigarette. (See, how a man can multi task with total focus, arf)  Never said I was perfect. Not even my mother would claim that.
The age of reason was the death of love. The Aeon of Chaos will see its rebirth. Where does all this nonsense come from? I just watch my fingers moving. Don't think. Switch off by choice and dive into the flowing rivers of trance and Blah. Very rarely I am I arrogant enough to believe that any of this waffle is being channelled. Only sometimes.
Harm none and do what you Will. HAPPY HALLOWEEN, jump on a broomstick and Know YourSelf, with Love, D.
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