#then i've been struggling to get sleep

[reynaruina]

I'm hecking late w this but Happy Bday IZ!! this was a Patreon reward for Risi on Discord :D

#iz #invader zim #zim #dib #zadr #sorry about the lack of posts folks #been sick for a week and half #then i've been struggling to get sleep #and get any work sdone #mah life is just a mess lately #hence why this was posted so late x-x.

[kaddyssammlung]

#sleep token #sleep token worship #i've been dissociated for the past few days again...but doing kind of alright...yesterday I felt extrem anxiety also but it started getting #better today. I'm planning on getting up early tomorrow morning and attempt to run my 35km. Let's see how this goes #it is 6 pm and I feel like going to bed and I think I will do that....struggling with mental illness can be exhausting #good night then....gute nacht :) a guads nächtle

[izzy-b-hands]

#gif #my gifs #courage the cowardly dog #been rewatching this when I've been struggling to sleep the last few nights so y'all are gonna get some random gifs from this show lol #loved this show so much as a kid right down to the atmosphere and art styles and all so just want to gif a few fave bg shots and stuff

[gideonisms]

explaining my lifestyle: no see this looks like horrible depression but I actually feel much better than I did when I was putting work into improving myself ♥️

#my apartment looks fine and average and my grades are fine and average #my skin looks fine and average my clothing is just okay my relationships aren't in the trash fire #yes i spend 10-12 hours a day zoning out or doing stuff unrelated to anything i'm supposed to be doing #yes i only leave this apt a few times a week #yes i struggle to eat enough sleep at consistent times and turn stuff in on time #but being kind of dysfunctional is incredibly relaxing #i go to bed actively hoping i'll wake up! like i will be there going oh hope i get to live the whole year/decade/next fifty years so i can #do my fun activities! #idk if this is actually true but it *feels* like the very first time since i was 18 that nothing is on fire #love to not be actively on fire #i think everyone should experience 'oh man i've been exhausted for a decade and i am going to spend most of a year being weird about it' #you truly have to work it out of your system it makes you hateful and anxious otherwise

[noise-misato-3-twink-eater]

Just came to your Twitter so I sent u 20$ :3

You're so fkn pretty and transition goals tbh I showed my hair stylist a picture of you for where I want to grow my hair out to ;P

-a tgirl on her first shot of hrt <3

Dssgfssfs holy shit you did, thank you sm!! I'm glad I could help, in both regards! Literally my favorite compliments from other dolls, "I just came to you" and "I'm using you for my transition goals" 🥺🥺🥺 I'm about to start my injections myself cuz one of my partners just started n not even a month later is getting bigger tits so I'm excited to post those when I get them :3 get ready to be like super horny and sad a lot but also looking like a completely different person in like six months <3<3<3

#also ngl this is like really uplifting and helpful for me rn. I've been struggling really hard with post covid recovery #like most of the time i can hardly get out of bed n spend most of most days sleeping #cant even imagine getting back to a 9to5 at this point when im so tired i can hardly even make content #i havent really been talking about it bcuz im embarassed and tbh theres ppl on here struggling a lot harder than i am #so little things like this truly are super helpful for me thank you sweetie <3<3<3 #ty for supporting sw<3<3<3

[bunnihearted]

.

#the past week i've been waking up early and feeling wide awake O.O #then i scroll on my phone for 2-3hrs then i get tired and fall asleep again #it's super annoying bc it messes w my sleep schedule #and like... i missed class today bc i did this!!!!!! wth.... #my sleep hasnt worked normally since like november 2022 tho #it's been roughhhhh but it just wont get better again #i wake up every 3hrs nd then go back to sleep nd i do this for maybe 9hrs sometimes 12 🥴 #and i get up at like 12-13 nd thats not good when i have classes at 9 nd 10 lol #i dont know it's just super frustrating! i've been struggling w my sleep for over a year nd it just wont get better #nd like i just wanna sleep thanks!!!! #(ofc since i have health anxiety my mind starts spiraling abt how sleep's essential nd it's while sleeping your body regenerates nd heals #nd since i dont sleep well my body isnt healing as well!!!! so then im fucked right?!?!? then my lack of sleep is making me sicker right?!)

[novelconcepts]

i don't make resolutions, but if i did

it would be to finish this fic

(and to be kind to myself for however long it takes to actually do so)

#i'm finishing it if it kills me #i know i've been writing this makeout scene for 3 weeks but baby that can't last forever #if we want to get deep and dark and serious for a second i do think a lot of my struggles to write lately have to do with engagement #and how incredibly low engagement has been on the last few things i've written #which like. is what it is. i'm not entitled to anybody's time or comments or kudos. #but when you write stuff you're proud of and it feels like it's barely getting read it's hard to keep momentum. #this isn't intended as a woe is me or whatever it's just kind of like. there. hovering. #happens enough times you start to wonder if it's you. am i just writing for the wrong fandom/ship? #(too bad if so. they're in my bones i'm writing for them and no one can stop me.) #but yeah. if you ever wonder if authors do care or notice about hits. comments. kudos. buddy i am here to tell you #not only do we care and FLOURISH we also notice when those things drop off and readers vanish #and it is a giant bummer. and sometimes makes us wildly paranoid about why that might have happened. #so if you liked a fic today--not even one of mine. just. anybody's. share it. comment on it. #kudos at the VERY least (cuz frankly kudos is there to be an 'i got to the end and this was nice' feature. #so when you get 500 hits and only like 30 kudos? it feels like 470 of those people hated your work) #anyway. that got out of hand. lil' too raw lil' too honest. happens when you let yourself ramble at 11:30 instead of sleeping #to sum: let your local fic writer know if they've made you happy #and as we go into 2024 i am swearing to myself that this fic (and probably several others) are getting finished #come hell. high water. or dishearteningly low engagement numbers. #(and then maybe we...actually work on something original. cuz why not. new year same old me but i'll do my best.)

[tezzbot]

You know when you can kind of feel your mental health starting to improve? yeagh.

#tezztalks #I've been in the tar pits for weeks #and I'm still slightly struggling with getting out of bed every day and I get tired so quickly and feel anxious a lot #But I am actually getting out of bed!! And going to sleep and waking up at reasonable hours!!! And leaving the house! #And I feel like singing again! explodes

[skyfcx]

every single time i see a blog for one of the more infrequently written sonic characters on my dash, the instinct of "get on your sonic multi and write every single sonic character that's ever existed" flares so fiercely and i just feel another crack go through my brain.

#(OOC.) ''The kind of tired regular sleep can't fix.'' #;tbd #((im in mad chill mode sorry yall get chatty aaron for the rest of today)) #((but sobs into my hands. i just so genuinely dont have the energy anymore; but god i wanna GOD i wanna)) #((so many icons to make. i've gone through those comics so many times for icons it is a struggle to do it again for so many muses)) #((but i Could. i could be so POWERFUL.)) #((rouge.... sally... espio... i'll figure out how to write surge too dammit i'll piece it together)) #((and i've been wanting to write blaze again for a while. twitches. convulses on the ground))

[izzy-b-hands]

Brain says wamt write, but I open writing program and words go away

what fuck

#text post #full disclosure i struggled so hard to fall asleep last night i wound up sleeping on my floor post T shot #bc i couldn't convince myself I'd earned a shower (i took it just recently after waking up instead tho) or to lay in my bed #and all i want is to get any of the ideas I've been having down on the page concretely #or to finish one of my drafts and post it #or to get the stuff I've only posted here up on my ao3 too #however i work later today and rn my body hurts and my brain is once again on the kick of 'lets think abt all ur traumas at once' #so i fear i am not going to be as productive as i want #if i get thru my shifts and can help Housemate get some dinner squared away I'll call it a win for today #i feel like I'm keeping the bar too low for myself but whenever i put it higher i wind up not meeting it one hundred percent #and then i just feel terrible so. idk. im trying. once again. day in day out #really just wanna go hide in the midwifery charge au but alas i cannot merge myself into a fictional universe #but maybe tomorrow i can get some writing done for it

[mexashepot]

неважно сколько я сплю, я просто не высыпаюсь :(

#I've been using the relative quietness of the last couple of days to go to bed earlier and to sleep more #I have been lucky enough to sleep for 5+ hours IN A ROW the last couple of nights #but I am still tired and exhausted and struggling to get out of bed in the morning :( #like it's such an insane privilege to get so much sleep (over 5 hours in a row!) these days #but it's not enough #and soon there will be rockets over my head again so goodbye sleep #no matter how much I sleep I am not well-rested so what is the point #personal

[booksflowersmoonwings]

you ever get sick and tired of thinking about how sick and tired you are of being sick and tired?

anyone have cute art of asra (the arcana), shino (naruto), or john doe (uncanny valley game) they feel like sharing?

or gush about something cool they just finished creating?

I dunno could use some. goodness.

#chronic illness sucks #chronic pain sucks #chronic fatigue SUCKS #how am I supposed to take care of my spouse and my home and my critters if all i ever want to do is sleep? #how am i supposed to actually put in the requisite effort to my mfa #and writing in general? #how am i supposed to work out and get stronger or eat well #or work on other projects I've committed to? #head hurts every day #ibs acts up most days #never feel rested no matter how much i sleep #back pain joints muscles bones etc #and I've been so depressed and listless for so long #my partner works as a nurse full time and is also getting her masters degree because she is a badass #she has reason to be exhausted #technically i do too but it doesn't feel like it because i barely have done anything today and everything i have done came with struggle #but I'm still exhausted #perpetually #for as long as i can remember #and i don't know how to fix it #and I'm tired #and it's not fair #by which i mean #it's not fair to everyone else who works at hard as they do #that i DON'T anymore and still feel like shit and am allowed to not work a regular job anymore #it's not fair #I'm so tired

[fridayyy-13th]

siiiiiigh.

#friday chats #tw vent #(in the following tags that is.) #(so. scroll if you don't wanna read this i suppose.) #anyway. gotta love the overachieving honors student experience. #haven't slept well in over two fucking weeks. i'm so exhausted! it's 11:40 pm but i STILL have multiple assignments left to do!! #part of it is definitely my own fault; i'm the one who put so many difficult classes into my schedule this year #and i'm planning to go discuss dropping a class or two tomorrow actually #bc i've been struggling to do work because of the sheer stress of it all and i'd very much like to sleep for three fucking months #maybe more. perhaps six. maybe even a year. i'm so fucking tired #God. sorry. i don't like getting vent-y on my blog but i am currently At My Limit #i miss having free time dude!! i haven't been able to dedicate time to writing since summer ended!!! #hoping that dropping the class i wanna drop will help #it's not the worst one of the bunch but it looms over my shoulder and the subject matter is miserable #(it's economics. fucking hate it. i get why it's useful but the way we're learning it is so deeply draining. that's capitalism baby!!) #but anyway. gotta hop back to work now. :/ gonna log off for the night

[hurglewurm]

2am thinking about death and violence but my cat sensed it and came running in here to scream and stand on me

#i worry sometimes though. even with her around #the patterns i've been avoiding they are coming back #they are loud #i am too young to have lived this life dude. #isolation truly drives one mad but it's not always your own choice to cope this way #if i am feeling avoided and ignored by all. then i am going to isolate further. because #it's about control it's about feeling like you made this choice #it's easier to blame yourself because it hurts too much otherwise #ANYWAYYYYYYYYYY I'm going to sleep now. fucking hell #oh to be sane. oh to have pleasant thoughts about oneself #no one in my real life know how bad it's getting #or i think they don't. if they do then well #whatever I'm a burden I'm a nightmare to deal with #also sorry for doing this on the internet every two days????? this has been building since. may or june #no one on the internet is allowed to worry about me though #I'm in bed I'm sleeping it's fine #i often think to myself. surely thinking back i was normal and not depressed. #and i always struggle to find a clear answer #i think i was happy when i was 11 #... yikes

[neverendingford]

.

#tag talk #vent #I don't wanna do the whole “I'm so good at psychology cause I've fixed myself. I should go into counseling” thing that overly empathetic #empathetic people do. but like. nothing like deconstructing a tense social conflict to make you feel good #the smol autistic minecraft enby who adopted me had a moment and I helped break down the situation and resolve shit with them. it was cool #but also I immediately went out to the living room and napped for three hours. thinning that hard was exhausting. #do you ever do the depression nap thing? when I'm doing well I never sleep during the day. but when I'm sad I take naps a lot #because I don't want to be awake and I sleep poorly at I night and am just generally lethargic so I nap on the floor or couch a lot #ugh knowing the stress will go away doesn't help the fact that it's super awful right now. #it's times like this that I wish I'd really committed to it in Feb. like. in two weeks I'll be better and joy de vivre and all that. #but right now? ugh. big fuckin ugh #the minecraft emotional labor thing is just a natural responsibility of being a 25 year old playing online video games with 15 year olds. #if I see a situation blowing up I can't hear sit by and watch someone destroy their friendships on the server. I have to help #but also bro I am struggling to help myself. maybe I say I'm packing up my pc early so that I have a good excuse to stay off the server #I literally did the thing again where I make new friends. make everyone love me. and then get burnt out at the speed of light and disappear #making friends is so easy. leaving friends is so easy. nothing is forever and we all die someday. blah blah blah you know it already #meaningless meaningless. all is meaningless. maybe king Solomon was just fuckin depressed when he wrote that. sure sounds like it to me. #I just can't do anything when I'm like this. we're subsistence living now bois. #I wonder if part of my neurological damage is from the lead I used to eat in high school. #the windex shots can't have been good for me. but I don't think that stays in your body the same way #though it did fuck up my urinary tract for a few months. that was wild. #anyway. I wonder how much of my chronic periodic funk is just effects from bad choices and how much is normal natural inevitable. #everything is an ocean. nothing is a lake. the waves are always thirty feet high and the troughs scrape you on the bottom of the reef #nothing is midline except when you're rushing through to one extreme or another. #you're either overstimulated or absent from your body entirely #both of which cause wild and oft unbearable dissociation. #everything gets better and everything gets worse. I'm only like this when I'm stressed. but that's my secret cap (avengers reference) #anyway. I'll survive. I'll make it. I'll live because I need to become even more gay to make my family mad. #I need to keep living so my dad realizes just how much he's lost touch. #so my mom cries about how she should have done something differently so I wouldn't grow up gay. because that makes so much sense right?

[taegularities]

Idk if you know Choi Minho of Shinee but last night I had a dream of him! We were at a party and him and I and another girl are playing some kind of game where he's asked questions about a certain girl ( if he likes her or not) and THAT GIRL was across the room and acting all cute for him and Minho was also looking at her.

I was a little jealous so I held onto his arm and was surprised he held onto me too. Lol idk how to describe it it's like abraciete in spanish.

And I was about to let him go but he ran his fingers up my arm and held my hand tightly and began kissing my wrist. Omg that kiss was so sensual and passionate I was losing my mind. He was really making out with my wrist but like in a romantic way lmao

I put my hand on his face to push him away but he just wouldn't stop. (I didn't want him to stop really I was just shy because of other people). And the dream ended just like that.

oh my god, i just remembered this ask but genuinely thought i answered it LOL but pls, those dreams you guys have are so cool?! minho is a cutie, so i understand how nervous you must've been lol wrist kisses are smth else :'))

have you been having some more interesting dreams lately? 🥰

#i've been struggling with sleep so much lately my brain just focuses on getting thru the night LMAO #me envious #notes for rid 🌹 #anon