#theres just so much shit to do and buy

[spook-e-snail]

Ramblings in tags

#do you ever just get like??? paralyzed by how many things you COULD do??? #like hi i have a job that shouldn't fuck with my disability too much #so now i can actually have a little bit of extra money at the end of the month to have fun with instead of only paying bills #i genuinely don't think I've had anything extra for like??? months??? #like there's so much I wanna get and even though I haven't gotten paid yet it's just. killing me #like i wanna get a dog to hopefully train to be a service dog right?? #but i also wanna get an actual drawing tablet so I don't have to only draw on my phone #BUT ALSO i need shit like a new binder since my current binders are 4+ years old #but yet again i wanna upgrade my room a bit and get some posters and some new blankets #again I just!! don't fucking know what to do first!! #this isn't a vent or anything im just like. stuck. mentally #theres just so much shit to do and buy #like i wanted to buy a new videogame a few weeks ago but I ended up needing to pay a bit extra in bills #OUUUUGHGHHH #there is. so much. to do #and i know i already said I'd spend the money on going on that trip #but thats really far off so i don't have to pay for that stuff first #plus i also genuinely need to think about if i wanna go or not

[isa-ah]

been following you since PRE bubblegum karkat days and it’s been really nice watching you grow and heal and whenever i see you on my dash and think of your growth it reminds me of my own healing journey. i find that really nice

HAHA that was AGES ago dude. my god. i cant believe youre still around, that was like, the worst of it LOLOL weve both probably come a looong way since then, yeah. life used to be abysmal but now ive got my hubby and mother in law and were moving to nola next month so theres nothing to fear =')

#we found the perfect house in the perfect neighborhood in the perfect part of the city so #we are hoping and praying. our sickass real estate agent did a walkthru yesterday and said #'its been on the market for a while so if you put in for it youll probably get it' #very exciting news theres even a patio we can screen in EASILY for our cats #right outside our bedroom door! it would be perfect for entertaining! #were finally going to make irl friends!!!!! sdkjksdjfksd #i had a couple freak friends in phoenix and like 2 cool friends but like. mostly. freaks. #so im hoping to make real actual friends this go round cause we sure as hell didnt out here in the sticks of al #yippeeeeeeee #babe is also going to get a job so i can take a break bc ive been doing coms to support us for years now and its STRESSFUL #im gunna get to go on a small vacation and kick back like #life is so good #im so excited to rest and chill #im gunna sew!! so much stuff!!!! #maybe ill even list some on here for people to buy like i just want to make so many little dudes all the time #but i dont have the time or energy to devote to that bc making patterns takes time and materials #IDK IDK TOTALLY OFF TOPIC #i dont talk about my daily life much actually its usually just specific shit so im taking the opportunity to say. #i grew up in a VERY bleak way. brother were talking moldy food bank food house rotting both my guardians so so sick #dropped out of middle school to be a fulltime caregiver lost both of them anyway #then a bunch of falling out with my family etc etc i had NOTHING going into my twenties but a FUCKTON of trauma and mistrust #and now im heading for my thirties and i am the healthiest and happiest i have ever been in my entire life #i look great i feel great i do pretty good for myself and the people around me #i love love love my friends im t4t gay married i have a cat thats like a pokemon partner. to me. its perfect #yes weve made a lot of plans that have fallen thru and were not where we thought we would be by now #but honestly? honestly? my life is really great. were broke as fuck but we get by and we love each other and thats whats UUUUUUUP #youll get there! just keep going! you have no idea what kinds of opportunities youll be offered in your life that can change everything

[bitchfitch]

a lot of the comments on that stained glass post are really funny because they assume the horse was like, a serious attempt and not me going "ok I've never used these tools before, I'm going in with no plan and just fucking up half sqft of glass while i learn how the cutter and pliers work" and then assembling the resulting shards into something vaguely resembling a horse to get the rest of the process down in my pre research fuck around and find out phase of learning a new skill.

Also the soldering looks like shit because the articles i found in the 20 minutes i was buying the stuff to start all said "flux makes the soldering better" in really vague terms without actually like, explaining that it lowers the flow point of the solder and makes the copper foil more receptive to it. so i assumed it wasn't necessary and was just used for vague betterness reasons and didn't buy any until a few days later when I started properly researching how to do things and found out it's actual job and that it's absolutely vital to the process.

So the solder isn't actually fully bound to the tape on the horse and is just like, melted overtop it following the lines of the tape. there's a distinct oval shape where the sides of the bead are up and off the tape instead of the domed shape it's actually supposed to be.

I also hadn't bought a grinder at that point bc I'm cheap and wanted to find one lightly used on ebay and also i wanted to wait for my pay check so I'd have a Little extra wiggle room with the whole shebang before i dropped 70 bucks on a tool i might not enjoy using too much.

which is to say, the whale is the first actual attempt and not the horse.

#tbh the just fuck around and find out phaze is something more people should do #learn enough to bumble fuck your way through a project and then go 'this is shit how do i do it better' #and researching each element in more depth instead of sticking with the overviews. it gives you more context for everything the #teacher is saying #like now knowing how important flux is. #anyways dont buy stained glass flux just get the lead free stuff from the hardware store. its the same chemicals for less money #ish #the hardware store varieties arnt diluted as much because they're meant to work for plumbing and such. so they're a lot stronger #but also a lot more likely to fuck you up if you dont work in a ventilated area and let the flux sit on your skin for any length of time #im lucky i dont have any like scaring from the time i got chemical burns down the entire length of my forarm because i #rested my arm on the fluxed window while i was soldering it #like theres a noticable texture difference and ive had a massive and Bad eczema patch there ever since but no scars #my arms are hairy enough you cant see it too much though so thats nice. #bfsg

[masterbaiting]

screaming sobbing shaking my fist at britain that you people could just catch a train to london to see the ttoi scripts book but i have to catch a plane or boat to the mainland and sneak into the fucking unimelb library

#now that i think about it trains across long lengths of britain can be quite expensive but it just feels so much easier when theres not a #fucking ocean there. anyway i should never have gotten a job ill start doing silly shit like impulse buying tickets to naarm to see a #fucking scripts book for a 2000s british political satire #i was there in march and saw everything i should really want to see (ned kelly armour mcr hellenic museum) #sorry im joking i have ten million friends there. im JOKING also i can always go to all the museums another hundred times #bro okay. shut the fuck up challenge #shut up ulrike

[todayisafridaynight]

some heretic put the idea in my head that gaiden might be a dynasty warriors game and that.................

#snap chats #'snap i thought you were hanging with your bro' dude in a SECOND #but yeah i dont even know what that'd do to me #i mean ive played DW games before- ok ive played both hyrule warriors and thats it BUT STILL #the games can be fun if you just turn your brain of or if youre playing with a friend #im not 100% on the concept im like at 20% only because the size of the crowd in the trailer is suspicious #cause whenever youd have a crowd in past games it's very sparse and there's npcs to act as walls #but from the clips it just looks like only enemies in crowds that are much bigger than before #because back then at max you'd have to fight maybe five enemies but this one it's like. 20 or so on the screen #plus... what exactly ARE the daigo/majima/saejima dlcs.... #at first i thought they were for coliseum fights- whether you fought them or they were allies idk #but with a dynasty angle....... no...... surely they wouldnt make daigo playable..... #in that event maybe i WILL get gaiden... #ngl i feel like im not AS jazzed for gaiden as i should be but this might convince me.... #guess i wont pre order it ill just wait for it to come out #oh yeah theres not gonna be a physical release for it ????? that sucks dick #i havent been able to physically buy the games tbf but still. i hate digital-media-only shit it makes me insane #ANYWAYS im going fr now BYE

[irregodless]

the answer is yeah winston probably deserved all that but not everyone else

#people try to analyze the book as like life in the party MADE him like that! #and its like maybe but weve never seen him in a favorable light #even as a kid he stole chocolate from his brother and money to buy a toy #i THINK its been a minute since i read it too but its somewhere abouts what he did #and yeah children make mistakes but from what i remember he didnt even necessarily feel bad about it until much later i think #so like the book gives us a protagonist were forced to want to win for sheer virtue of how unfathomably worse the opposition is #because theres no way the party is more innocent than him #but i just sit there reading about him fantasizing about raping and killing some random woman and its like #sorry maybe im being a hashtag anti or too sensitive but i just like. dont see positive qualities there. i dont strive to see him thrive #and winstons not the only one who can take down the party nor the only one whos tried like the revolution #doesnt end with him the end of the book isnt game over #and i get it i really do get that im way oversimplifying what is meant to be a complex and controversial narrative choice here #but like hes just a pathetic piece of shit even at his most quote unquote heroic #its not like oh no they got to winston theres no hope for ANYONE

[lesbianraskolnikov]

i cannot stand the convo on goth clothing here sometimes for so many reasons but, and while i can understand it in some contexts, i like the goth isnt actually expensive talk. Goth is primarily focused in music and  the range of styles is massive- If you want that victorian  / lolita style then yeah that, will be expensive. Goth is more than Trad Goth?!

Actually thinking about it any time this comes up goth is always paired with punk and like, while theirs similarities theres also. Differences. Punk is DIY some goth fashion like trad is DIY but obviously sometimes it will be pricier.

#I also have yet to meet a goth obsessed with Brand but i dont know. #floyd.txt #i kind of dont care if someone buys from a store thats not like Fucked/ known to be Fucked bc sometimes u r just led there and theres good #deals + #Bc so much secondhand stores has primarily fastfashion secondhands anyway. like i dont care #you CAN find good stuff secondhand but like for me #every secondhand store i physically go to never has anything i could even diy some stuff is nice but not for me and the other stuff is one #million shien clothings #people can resale online for crazies as well #I say this as someone who primarily does trad goth fashion but id love to do victorian type of shit but its pricy!!! #this is rreminding me of the time i tried to take some old good condition clothes to a nearby secondhand store #that is filled to the fucking brim with Shein and they said no sorry we cant accept this :( #But you can take clothes that will fall apart in a year. otay #SORRY.

[etherical-angel]

oh yea in 3 days its gonna be my 1 month anniversary of being in japan???? it literally has barely felt like a weak wtf(<- going thru the horrors)

#def forming some..new alters from this lol #been journalling abt my delusions most of the time just to stay sane(which is what i'd do at home anyway) #i always say shit like 'yea i cant talk to my alters' which im coming to terms with not entirely being true #its just not as much as it used to be. but the more isolated i am the more i notice it #(i was supperrrrr isolated during that og period which is why it got the way it did) #but i think it just comes with getting used to it. its more mixed n blurry when 2 alters are fronting so it makes it less distinct #but there is dialog happening. whether it just be back and forth or a helper coming in to get me thru the night. #'me' being whoevers fronting obv #like. i am in a small room that only fits a bed n a small desk n fridge. the air conditioner kills me stimulation wise. but i need it on. #outside its 29 degrees(hot) at NIGHT but i fight thru it just so i can go on my nightly sanity swings. i cant see the stars. #theres been a cold going around for weeks and i cant do anything about it. #at least the anticipation anxiety for my potential apartment has died down a bit..not entirely but its easier now #idk. even tho i know i'll probably only get the apartment for like 4 months(IF i get it) i have to tell myself its for my benifit #its not a fix all forever home. its a place to finally chill for a bit. to go to the beach. to go on hikes in the forest. #to have a bigger enclosure all to myself #godddd i need to buy a water filter i hate having to go BUY WATER everyday(<- doesnt trust the tap water. per usual.)

[fieryvoid-scout]

-

#im getting real sick and tired of the yearly ao3 debate #theres reasons they do what they do #and them asking for donations to keep their shit running REALLY isnt fucking much #they arent forcing you to buy a damn subscription so just quit your fucking crying #is there fucked up shit on there? yes #just don’t read it #just move on and don’t read it or engage with it #like grow the fuck up and manage your damn boundaries you are a grown ass adult #its so damn pathetic im sick of it honestly #im just gonna start blocking and not even bother trying to get these ppl to understand the history on why they do what they do #and like im not against better options!! but they dont ever give better options #like hmm #i wonder why that is

[valla-chan]

grgrrggrhgkrhkaukerhgjherkajg/..... GRRGRGRGRRGTFHFHFFHGGTFTFTGFGFG

#bothered with life right now #my life is so fucking boring #there is fuck all to do around here #2 of my favorite local food places shut down months ago #the park here is garbage #the only nice thing in it is trees #big fucking whoop give me swings #the people here are boring and dress ugly #i have no more physical hobbies i can access #i had to cancel my card because of detected fraud and i dont have a bank out here so i cant even buy shit rn #gf has been off her meds cause of the adderal shortage so #she's just been being really annoying to me all day for the past few weeks like slamming shit and getting pissed off #i fell out of game dev and have no inspiration to work on it cause i dont have much else to spark joy #been losing subscribers on my youtube #already ate out a fuck ton of times the past week so i cant justify it now #i cant even walk to any big retail outlets from here and my gf doesnt even like to shop she is always just wanting to get in then out #so every day i just do fucking nothing #i dont have any friends here #theres nothing beautiful around here unless you go drive to see it #theres no birds or nice bugs or anything wandering around #im fucking boreddddd #im fucking boredddddddddddddddd #im so fucking sick of this shitty place and my boring shitty routine #everything here is boring and shitty and i dont have the money to do fuck all about it #i cant even make good videos or content anymore because i am not fucking inspired #im sooooo fuckinnngggggg boredddddddddd

[earlyspringtranscendence]

i wish betting on wrestling was like a thing because while i would never win if i bet on anything else (am bad at recognising patterns that actually mean anything) i would cash in soooooo much because i can ALWAYS tell when a jericho feud’s gonna run way too long again 😌

#hello hi . im stressed out this fair sunday evening #feel like im failing at school already its been like a month and yet #one of my teachers v much implied i'd fail her assignment if i didnt do a bunch of extra shit and like #theres reasons for it that i can see from her side but theres also just the issue that i told her about of like #i just dont know how to work with that many materials and slash or i cant go out and buy all these things right now #and then she's like well go down to xyz and ask them to do it for you and its like honey i dont know why you think we've got such a like #mutually beneficial relationship going on between all the applied and fine arts in this school like #thats a fiction that lives in your head ... especially after we just didn't exist in this school for a whole year #and anyway. i went ahead and tried some different materials and its just like. you cant make up what an insane failure thats been #and its not that i didnt try my best its just that like idk what she wants from me #cause anyway theres a reason i picked the materials that i did the first time round #changing those just kinda changes the meaning of the thing in general... which is something SHE teaches us #anyway. and tomorrow i have class w someone who i'm Difficult with (as in like i have a hard time around her im not purposefully difficult) #(its just that she makes me feel that way cause of the 'tism and cause of the fact she thinks she knows how to handle the 'tism) #(she doesnt) #and again i did a lot of work for her im just sure she's gonna expect me to have done more #but in my defense. i need to go to the doctor and see if they can prescribe me some form of ritalin bc my exhaustion was so bad last wk #and has been bad for a hot second lately #and theres really only so much i can do with the spoons at hand #anyway. and im also Sad Right Now because ive been ignored and interrupted while saying things a little too frequently recently #and im not laughing. im having a Time. #i didnt even have that bad of a week all things considered but goddd i need a break

[tinyspringtrap]

I'm pretty sure there's a cat wandering around outside because Pepper keeps trying to slap the shit out of the windows in the middle of the night and is spicy as hell lately...

and ofc she has severe anxiety and feline aggression issues so... she's not very pleasant atm :/

I am honestly just so tired of ppls outdoor cats coming to my house and harassing mine. this is causing her unnecessary stress and I really don't like medicating her if I don't have to because it just causes her even more stress.

and I can’t just keep her out of the windows or close them either bc any time we try to she literally will try to tear down the blinds and I don’t need her hurting herself - also, she shouldn’t have to miss out on being able to look out the window because some asshole can’t be bothered to keep their cat indoors.

outdoor cat culture needs to honestly die in a fire. Keep ur pet indoors like a responsible pet owner instead of letting them be a nuisance to your neighbors and a potential meal for a hungry predator

#sassy says #hnfdhnhgf every summer i s2g theres another new cat making mine stressed #ive done all i can to minimize her interactions with other cats #and it still isnt enough because other people cant just be responsible for their own instead of letting them roam about #there are foxes and coyotes in this area why the fuck are people letting their pets roam #stop putting ur pet in harms way #'but they want to go outside!' #and my cat would love nothing more than to eat beef - but she's allergic #and its MY job to make sure she doesnt do stupid shit that can cause her harm #just like its YOUR job to make sure of the same for yours #stop excusing your lazy pet ownership by putting the blame on your cat instead of just doing what you need to do to make them safe #buy a catio if your cat wants to go outside #then they can do so safely and without shitting in peoples gardens or harassing other animals #some people just want the fun of a pet without a single lick of the responsibility #does shovelling cat litter suck? sure fuckin does #but guess what im gonna do it because its my fucking job to care for this fuzzy bitch i adopted #and part of that is being responsible for her needs regardless of how much i enjoy it #the price of having a pet is taking care of it properly #rant #personal bullshit

[etherealspacejelly]

this is your gentle reminder to stop fighting against your adhd and instead structure your life around it

buy a pack of chapsticks and put one in the pocket of all of your coats and jackets because you always forget to bring one and chapped lips is sensory hell

leave important things where you can see them. if they go in a box or a drawer you will forget they exist

put any appointments or deadlines in your phone calendar As Soon As you get them. set a reminder for a week before, a day before, an hour before, as many as you need as often as you need them.

when that little voice in your head says "i dont need to write that down, ill remember it" that is the devil talking!!! write it down anyway!!

plan for down time. have a few hours at the end of every day to just do fun stuff like engage in your hyperfixations. even if you didnt get all of your work done that day, have the rest anyway. you probably spent the whole day beating yourself up for not doing what you Should be doing, so you still need the break.

if you never eat vegetables because its too much effort to chop and cook them, get the frozen or canned shit. it doesnt go off for ages and you just have to microwave it. theres no point buying fresh vegetables if they just keep going off and being left to rot in the bottom of your fridge

if you struggle to decide what to have for dinner every day, take the decision out of it. choose a set of meals and eat those on rotation until you get sick of them, then choose some new ones and do it again.

its not stupid if it works! our brains literally have a chemical deficiency. you are allowed to accommodate yourself. go forth and stop making your life more difficult than it has to be because "this shouldn't be this hard". it is hard, so make it easier.

#adhd #actually adhd #adhd tips

[shimshamshimsham]

I'm just a little girl and I'm so so tired

#feeling like shit rn #being trans at this age is really fucking me up #because in some of my most formative years im outcast and shamed just for existing #even in more supportive communities theres such a pertinent disconnect between me and my cis peers #and in less supportive ones im harrassed daily #if not worse #and just in general i have to deal with all the bullshit that comes with being trans #Except with none of the control #im lucky enough to where this isnt the case but like #if my parents decided i cant be on estrogen or blockers #or i cant buy girl clothes #or i cant change my voice #or that my birth name and pronouns are all i can use #theres not much i can do about that without having to actively hide all of it #even disregarding my parents theres still so many other people that get to decide whether or not im allowed to transition #and i fucking hate it #my gender #my indentity #my transition #is completely out of my control #i have no say in how it progresses #and god i hate that #shit didnt mean to have a super venty rant in the tags #guh #tw transphobia #transphobia

[oflgtfol]

attempting to make at least one bracelet for every coworker you’re somewhat close to is a bit of a pain when you work two jobs and each workplace has 20 something employees

#GAH #brot posts #i wanna add teo more michaels coworkers but i dont know their colors #so i at least have an excuse for not being on time for christmas #and this genuinely was a spur of the moment thing so i didnt have any time to plan #im inspired cuz my FM made everyone these like fabric little shrimp guys 😭😭 theyre so cute #she had kept it a secret for a while so i only knew she was getting me a christmas gift #so i was just gonna make her two bracelets #but then she gave me my shrimp and then i saw it was a full scale store effort and it was like. oh #it would in fact be cute to make everyone bracelets #esp cuz theres a whole group here of people like me obsessed with bracelet making and we’re always buying beads and shit #so i thought itd be cute to also make them bracelets as well as my FM #but then like im close to other people who Arent into the bracelet stuff but itd still be cute to make them one !!! #and now here i am!!! #AND i asked all my other job coworkers if theyd like a bracelet each and they pretty much all said yes #and they All wanted the adjustable bracelets and that shit is so laborious 😭😭 #but i have wiggle room so i can take my time with those cuz i only see x amount of people certain days and they all know its not gonna be #till after christmas #lke theyve been Informed that im doing this so theyre ok #but my #michaels coworkers this is a surprise so :( it must be on time :( #but the other two coworkers are gonna have to have it not be a surprise #but i’ll act like they were originally in my plan just thati dont know their fave colors so i couldnt make them bracelets in time for today #lol. lol ;__;

[cerasum-chrysanthes]

Changed the bedsheets and took a shower... fuck yeah, best feeling in the world to lay in bed with all clean and new.

#i definitely need more bed linen tho #maybe i can actually afford some now #just need to get the measurements tomorrow and then i will buy some #i cleaned up the apartment today a bit. not much cuz i didn't have the energy for a lot #but i destroyed a big cardboard box that has been laying around for ... half a year probably #so i got some room again!!! and then vacuumed esp under the bed #there was a spoon under there #if i had the energy to do this every day... maybe i could actually live less like a hoarder #its pretty messy and i wish it wasn't but i have very little energy #most of it is used up from school/training and tbh even if i didn't do that I couldn't do much more #i might be able to do 1 more thing then #i wish it felt as satisfying to clean my own shit as it feels to watch people clean up hoarder homes #theres this lady on yt who does that for free for people and she is having so much fun???? doing that??? #i mean i also enjoy it much more doing it for others!!! maybe i should think of my home as someone else's... i need to find a trick #rant over i guess lol