#they could chill in a house on the hills and leon could read him to sleep and it be all soft

[baekuras]

Thinking about Luis surviving & recovering while Leon gets to sit at his bedside or wherever reading Don Quixote to him <3

#txts #re4 #re4make #serennedy #does luis have it memorized? probably #but look you told me he has a fav book and this is the most basic 1st thought coming to me #for extra angst you can see recovering as the whole he's in a coma but can hear leon reading to him deal #bc of fucking course-thats always good #but both are good #i am mostly focused on the reading to bit in this tbh #they could chill in a house on the hills and leon could read him to sleep and it be all soft #and i'd be here for it 100% #just.....soft pls #i also checked the spelling for don quixote just to be sure #and apparently shits spelled w/ a j in german #and i am now....mostly confused because...why #dont do this to my brain

[uas-fics]

Title: Hop and Gloria to the Rescue!

Rating: G

Summary: Gloria and Hop are finally home for a visit after their stays in the far-off Crown Tundra and the Isle of Armor, respectively. But what's this? Someone is breaking into Hop's house!? And Leon's there alone? They have to save him!

Ships: Leon x Piers

Content Warnings: Mild spoilers for the SwSh post games and DLCs

Read on AO3

-----

"Anything but curry. Let's agree to that."

"Oh, definitely!"

Hop rubbed his stomach. "If I ever see another Max Mushroom curry in my life, it'll be too soon."

"At least the Dojo has a snack machine!" Gloria bumped into his shoulder with her own. "You know what I got to eat? Camp curry and carrots."

"So that means you got the best eyesight now, don't it?" Hop teased.

Gloria wrinkled up her nose. She moved to push Hop forward, but he dodged. She snorted. A smile played on her face.

For the last few months, the Galar continent separated the best friends, with Gloria exploring the Crown Tundra and Hop studying in the Isle of Armor. They kept in touch, of course, texting, calling,and sending pictures of interesting pokemon they saw, but none of that compared to walking and chatting with each other on their journey home to Postwick.

Both trainers had so much to tell everyone and each other.

Notebooks weighted down Hop's pack. Each one filled with notes, sketches, and photographs about the pokemon he'd been studying on the Isle of Armor. One, in particular, had a blurry photo of a black and pink bird pokemon that sped by the front of the Dojo one afternoon.

Hop already knew exactly how he would convince Gloria to help him track it down.

Gloria's pack, on the other hand, held a folder with all the notes she'd taken from her own journeys around The Crown Tundra with Peony. If the pictures of the Legendary pokemon didn't leave Hop gobsmacked, then seeing them registered in her Pokedex would!

Of course, once he knew she was tracking down Moltres somewhere in the Isle of Armor, he would have to join her.

But all that could wait until after a few days rest with their families.

Patchy clouds darkened the sun as the two crested the final hill to Postwick. Far in the distance, over the Slumbering Weald, the heavy clouds poured down. The travelers missed the deluge by less than an hour.

Gloria took a deep breath, enjoying air that didn't fill her lungs with an icy chill. Coming home a day earlier than she'd told her mum turned out to be the right idea.

Not just their families would be elated to see them. Gloria had message after message from Marnie: how she was improving her gym and the new boutique that opened near the Spikemuth pokemon center--and about The Big Secret.

Marnie had taunted her with the huge, life changing secret that was too sensitive to tell over the phone for weeks now. If Gloria wanted to know what the secret was, she would have to come to Spikmuth and hear it from Marnie face to face.

Hop ran over to a wooden fence.

"I didn't know how much I'd missed wooloo." He laughed and gestured to a herd of grazing wooloo.

One of the wooloo raised its head at the sound of his voice. It baa'ed at the two before trotting over. It butted its head against Hop's palm. Soon the rest of the herd crowded the fence line, baa-ing in delight at the attention Hop readily gave out.

"Remind me to let Dubwool out after we get home so he can talk to all his old wooloo friends. He's grown even stronger since the last time they all saw him. Master Mustard said he thinks Dubwool is getting stronger faster than even Lee’s Charizard did."

Hop scratched a wooloo under the chin. It bleated in delight.

Gloria leaned her arms on the fence. "Speaking of Leon, will he be home too? My pokemon are itching for a battle with him." She fingered the pokeballs at her belt.

If Cinderace didn't get a chance to battle Leon's Charizard, he would give Gloria the silent treatment for a week. After all the rememensing about the amazing championship battle Gloria and Leon had, Calyrex, too, wanted a good look at the former champion. Not to mention the rest of her team wanted to test their strength against the toughest trainer they knew.

Hop jumped back from the fence, much to the sorrow of the wooloo herd. "He should be. Lee told me he's been helping Mum and my grandparents around the house the last week or so."

"Well, if he's not home," Gloria punched her fist into her palm, "I'll go drag him back to Postwick myself."

Hop chuckled as he spun around towards Postwick. He wished he could see that: Tiny Gloria carrying his big brother over her head all the way through the Wild Area and back home. It was almost too bad Lee wouldn't miss a chance to see his little brother after so long apart.

He opened his mouth to tell Gloria as much when something caught his eye. He shielded his eyes from the sun and squinted.

"What's that?" He pointed.

Gloria followed his finger to see a figure in black with a hood pulled up walk through the gate to Hop's house. The figure shut the gate behind them before passing a large tree and leaving her sight.

"I dunno, but it gives me a bad feeling." Gloria grabbed Hop's wrist. "C'mon! Let's investigate!"

They hurried down the road until they came to the edge of the stone wall that surrounded Hop's home.

"Do you think we should go inside? What if that's a burglar? Should we call the police?" Hop asked. His fingers brushed his rotomphone in his pocket.

"Not yet. Let's see if we can tell what's going on first."

Gloria dropped her bag. With a leap, she effortlessly cleared the wall. She rushed past the tree and to the shed beside the house. Hop shouldered off his heavy pack and mimicked her until both their backs pressed against the worn paint of the shed.

"There's a window 'round the side of the shed. It looks into the kitchen." Hop jerked his head towards the house. "Let's see if we can see anything."

At the edge of the shed, Gloria and Hop exchanged looks. They nodded at each other then dropped to their stomachs in the wet grass. The smell of soggy earth filled their noses. They army crawled to the side of the house.

Hop's grandfather, or maybe even Leon, had recently cleared the leaf litter from around the shed into a tidy pile beside the house. The pile blocked their path like a sodded brown mountain.

Gloria started to ask, "Should we go arou--" when the kitchen window opened.

Hop slapped a hand over her mouth and pulled her until they were right next to the leaf litter pile.

A voice floated out the window.

"...won't be back until tonight."

Hop stiffened.

Leon! That was Leon's voice! So he was home. What about the burglar? The figure who walked through the gate. Did that person know Leon was home too? Did Leon know he wasn't alone?

Leon stuck his head out the window and gazed at the sky. "Rain's well past," he said before pulling his head back in.

Gloria held Hop against the wall to stop him from jumping out of their hiding place and dragging Leon out of the window by his shoulders.

She put a finger to her lips. "We don't know if anyone is in there with him yet," She hissed into his ear. "We don't want to scare him over nothing."

Hop swallowed the lump of worry in his throat. Gloria was right, of course. Maybe the figure was just cutting through his yard. People did that all the time, didn't they?

A hand with skin much too pale to be Leon's came from the window. It turned, palm to the sky, before returning to the house. The window shut with a click.

Hop and Gloria's eyes met.

There was someone in the house, someone beside Leon.

Without another word, the two crawled around the leaf pile and to the window. They waited a few heart-pounding moments before, carefully, peeking into the kitchen.

The figure in black, hood still up, had their back to Hop and Gloria. A sharp knife stuck out from their sleeves.

The figure started to turn towards the window. Hop and Gloria ducked down. Their hearts threatened to tear right out of their chests.

"Oh, Arceus." Hop sucked in a breath, going to his knees.

She put her hands on Hop's shoulders and shook him once. "Do you know what this means? It's not a burglar! It's a murderer!"

"But why? Who would want to hurt Leon? He is the greatest Champion Galar's ever had!" He paused a beat then added, "Ah, I mean--"

Gloria cut him off with a wave of her hand. "That's probably why! He must know something someone doesn't want him to. He has to have some top secret information about the League or someone very powerful."

"So they sent an assassin!" Hop interjected.

"Maybe more than one!"

Then, like a feedback loop of movie cliches, the mysterious figure walking through Hop's gate turned into a burglar, then murderer, then one of a team of well trained ninja assassins from Kanto coming to either kidnap Leon to extort information out of him or kill him to keep him from talking.

Midway through Hop's edition of a secret underground society of pokemon psychics, a scream pierced the air from inside the house.

"Lee!" Hop jumped to his feet.

He ran to the front of the house, weaving around the set of metal chairs and table near the kitchen door, and skidded to a stop, sending mud and wet grass up into the air.

He took a pokeball from his belt. "Dubwool, come out!"

In a flash of light, Hop's dubwool appeared. He shook out his fleece. For a moment, excitement rose on Dubwool's face upon being home. It disappeared when he looked at Hop's terrified expression.

Gloria let out her Cinderace. Cinderace took a breath for an delighted shout but Gloria shushed him with a hand over his mouth.

"There is an assassin in Hop's house trying to kidnap Leon," She explained quickly to the pokemon. "They probably have the door blocked, so we need to break it in then take out the assassin, got it?"

Dubwool and Cinderace nodded without a second’s hesitation. Their trainers knew exactly what was going on, and the pokemon always trusted their judgement.

Hop picked up one of the metal garden chairs and Gloria the other. They weren't much for weapons or protection, but they were better than nothing.

Another scream made all four jump.

"Let's go! Dubwool, use slam on the door!" Hop ordered, throwing out his arm.

Dubwool bleated. He pawed at the dirt once, twice, then rammed, horns first, into the door. The door flew from the hinges and crashed into the stairs across the hall. Photos rattled and fell to the floor with a shattering glass. Shards of glass scattered across fleece as Dubwool righted himself.

With a war cry, Hop, Gloria, and Cinderace raced through the door.

Cinderace jumped onto the broken door and used it as a springboard to leap across the living room.

"What in the world?" Leon jumped up from the couch in time for Cinderace's foot to plant firmly on his chest. His hat flew off his head as he landed, pinned between the wall and Cinderace's foot.

Gloria raised the chair above her head and threw it as another head came up from the couch.

The assassin ducked in time to miss the metal chair, but not the Dubwool who jumped over the couch to land on them with a victorious bleat.

The shelf above Leon swung down by one nail, disturbed by the chair hitting the wall. A trophy rolled and landed square on Leon's head with a bell-like ring.

Hop darted around the chaos towards his brother, his chair forgotten by the mess near the broken door.

"Lee!" Hop pushed a shocked Cinderace away and crouched next to Leon.

"H...Hop?" Leon squinted. "What are you doing here?" He winced, holding his head. A nice sized lump began to grow where the trophy collided with Leon’s skull.

Before Hop could answer, Gloria took a pillow from the couch and began beating the only part of the assassin's body that wasn't under a mass of thick wool--their thrashing legs.

"How do you like it, huh? You're not killing any champions on my watch! Bam! Ha! Boom! Take that, assassin!" She cried, repeatedly slamming the pillow against the assassin's ankles.

Leon gasped. "S-stop! Gloria, stop!" He tried to stand, but could barely lift himself up without falling back.

Hop wrapped his arms around Leon's shoulders protectively. Why in the world would he want them to stop? That assassin was trying to kidnap him, take him to their underground base, and torture him for information!

"Get the 'ell offa me!" The assassin yelled. With a grunt of effort, they pushed Dubwool off.

The sheep pokemon rolled onto his back, hooves waving in the air. Gloria quickly changed her angle and slammed the pillow into the assassin's face.

I hope I broke this jerk's nose! Gloria thought, though she didn't hear any cartilage crunching against her attack.

A pale hand gripped the pillow and tore it from her hands.

"What was all that for?" A familiar person demanded, throwing the pillowing back at Gloria. It hit her face and landed in a sad lump on the ground.

"Piers?"

Piers narrowed his eyes. A chill worse than anything she felt in the Crown Tundra ran up her spine at his icy glare.

"Did you throw a chair at me?" He demanded.

"I, I, uh..." Gloria floundered.

What was going on? Why was Piers, of all people, here? He wasn't a gym leader anymore, so he didn't need to talk to Leon about the League. Gloria couldn't think of a single reason the two would ever be in the same place together.

Unless something was wrong with Marnie. Was that The Big Secret she wanted to tell her? Had Marnie broken some sort of huge rule? Did something bad happen? Was her best gal friend in trouble?

Leon groaned again. Piers moved his gaze from Gloria and towards Leon. He jumped to his feet and hurried over.

"Leon? Are you alright?" He winced, seeing the blooming bruise on his forehead.

Hop tightened his grip on his brother. His head spun. Had his and Gloria's grand plan to save Leon been for nothing? No way they were wrong about the danger Leon had been in.

"I'm ffffffine," Leon slurred, "propsably."

Piers held up three fingers. "How many fingers I got up?"

Leon stared into the middle distance for a few beats longer than he should before squinting at Piers' fingers.

"Six."

Piers groaned, throwing his head back dramatically and slumping his shoulders. "I think you two gave him a concussion."

"Concussion?!" Hop nearly choked on the word. "But, we didn't mean to!"

Cinderace took a few steps around Gloria. He lowered himself to hide behind her, ashamed of the damage he'd caused. She reached back and patted him reassuringly. It wasn’t his fault. If Piers had been an assassin ninja, Cinderace would have just saved Leon from a dagger to the neck.

Piers disentangled Hop from Leon. He put his arm under Leon's and around his back before hoisting him up. Leon tried to take a step on his own, but wobbled back against Piers.

"Let's get you to a doctor. That's a nasty lump." Piers' voice came out softer than Gloria or Hop had ever heard it. To Hop, he asked, "Do we got to go all the way to the next town or is there a doctor in Postwick."

Hop's mouth gaped before he shook himself. "There's not, but if I call the one in Wedgehurt, he can be here in a jiffy." He already had his rotomphone out before he finished speaking.

Gloria, feeling useless standing there like a slowpoke on a stone, went to roll Dubwool back to his hooves. She dusted some of the wood chips and glass shards from his fleece. A few chips hit the cracked screen of a laptop on the floor.

She had a feeling she would be paying for that, and for everything else...

Leon rested his weight against Piers' side.

"Surry," He muttered. "This didn't go alls well 't all."

Piers shrugged as he carefully helped Leon through the broken mess on the floor.

"Believe it or not, this still isn’t the worst date I've ever been on."

Hop dropped the rotomphone and Gloria fell over herself, landing on the other side of Dubwool.

"Date?"

------

Piers shook the rain off his coat.

“Walk more,” they said.

“It's good for you,” they said.

“The weather is great today,” they said.

Bull crap!

That's the last time he takes his gym trainers' advice on the weather--no, not his gym trainers. They were Marnie's now. He hadn’t been a gym leader in a few months, but sometimes that fact still slipped his mind.

He should have gotten a taxi to Postwick. That way he wouldn't have gotten caught in the rain.

He hurried down the road to Leon's house. He opened the gate, surprised it didn't screech in protest. Well, Leon did say he'd been doing handiwork around his family's house recently. He probably oiled the gate.

Or maybe Piers just wasn't used to gates that didn't squeak from years of rust.

He shut the gate behind him as he wondered if he could talk Leon into helping him around Spikemuth's gym. Marnie might be the gym leader, but that didn't mean Piers couldn't still keep the gym up to snuff.

Leon opened the door after the second knock. He wore a floral themed apron with his sleeves rolled past his elbows and hair pulled back at the nape of his neck.

He covered a chuckle.

"Spooky. Are you the grim reaper today?" He gestured at the long black coat and hood.

Piers rolled his eyes and pushed the hood back. How he fit all of his hair in the hood, Leon couldn't fathom a guess.

Leon gestured for him to follow him to the kitchen. Piers peeled off his coat and draped it over a kitchen chair. Leon reached back to untie the apron.

"I lost track of time," he explained, hanging the apron on a hook. "I promised Mum I'd get the kitchen spick and span for tomorrow."

"How kind."

Hop came back tomorrow from the Isle of Armor. Piers' knew that well at this point. It seemed every other conversation lately had been about how excited Leon was about his little brother's return.

Leon couldn't wait to hear what kind of research Hop was doing and what kind of pokemon he'd met and all about how everything at the Dojo was.

Of course, Gloria was supposed to come back too. Neither Leon nor Piers had ever been to the Crown Tundra, but they knew the rumors of the incredibly strong pokemon that live in the barren, frozen north of Galar.

Both of them knew they would need to battle the current champ to see just how strong she'd become before she left to continue her explorations.

Piers peered around the kitchen. As far as he could tell, it looked fine. All the counters were clean and the cobwebs dusted from the corners, but he still asked, "D’you need help?" anyway.

Leon shook his head. "No. It's just a few dishes I have to do." He jerked his head to the sink.

In fact, Leon started cleaning all the nooks and crannies of the kitchen right after breakfast. He intended to finish well before Piers showed up, but only having a few pieces of silverware left wasn't that bad.

Piers took a dish towel from beside the sink and dropped it. Using his foot, he mopped up the puddle he and his coat created on the tiled floor. With one quick movement, he hooked the towel with his toe and kicked it up into his waiting hand.

"You're welcome." He tossed the towel next to the sink.

Leon snorted a laugh. "Thanks."

"When is your family 'ppose to be back? The movie isn't that long, but..." Piers trailed off, rolling his wrist to finish the comment.

Leon didn't need him to finish to know what he was talking about. They were a little secret, for the time being. Only the bare minimum of people knew they were dating, and Leon had been putting off explaining the situation to his family until after Hop and Gloria’s homecoming.

"My grandparents are visiting friends in Ballonlea. My and Gloria's mums are in Hammerlock, so, they," Leon opened the window over the sink, "won't be back until tonight."

Leaning over the sink, he poked his head out and looked up. The dark rain clouds moved on, leaving Postwick humid, but drying. A weather Piers didn’t seem to mind, though Leon couldn’t wrap his head around the idea of humidity being better than a sunny afternoon.

"Rain's well past."

Piers strode next to him and stuck his hand out the window. He turned his palm up, half expecting more rain, before pulling it back in. He shut the window.

"Too bad," he smiled slyly, "a scary movie is always better with some thunder and lightnin' in the background."

"I wouldn't want Hop treading home through mud," Leon replied, only half joking.

Piers took his coat from the chair and draped it over Leon's shoulders. He chuckled and patted his warm cheek.

"It's cute you care so much about your bro like that."

A faint blush crossed Leon's cheeks. Their faces were so close. It wouldn't take much to close the gap and--

"We should start the movie soon." Piers stole a step away. "We're doing this in the living room, yeah?"

Before he could get any farther, Leon took hold of his wrist and gently pulled him back. He placed a kiss on his cheek.

"I have to empty the sink first, so don't miss me too much."

Although he knew it was unlikely, Leon wished his impromptu romantic gesture would leave the formidable dark-type trainer flustered. It didn't, of course. Leon had only ever gotten him blushing and gobsmacked once, when he first proposed the idea of a date between the two.

Piers shook his head with a smile then pulled the hood over Leon's head.

"Smooth as a druddigon."

He paused, mentally storing that line away. It could make a good lyric someday. Smooth as a druddigon, loving as a gorbis? Bisharp?

He'd work on it later.

With Piers out of the kitchen, Leon sighed in defeat. Maybe next time he'd get him.

Instead of taking off Piers' coat, he put his arms through the sleeves. Piers was taller than him by a half a head, so the sleeves fell past his hands

Leon took the last fork and spoons from the sink and set them aside. Careful of the blade, he took a knife out. Mum used the knife to chop vegetables for dinner the night before, so it was a relatively easy clean.

Leon shuddered. The coat wasn't even that warm. Did Piers only wear it for the style? He turned away from the sink, knife still in hand and lifted an arm. At least the material seemed to dry fast after being caught in the rain. Maybe that's why Piers wore it?

As he turned back to the sink, something moved out of the corner of his eye. He frowned. Did a rookidee fly down from the tree in the yard just then? Setting the knife aside, he reached to open the window again when a blood curdling scream made him jump.

With his hand to his pounding heart, he hurried to the living room.

"What was that?"

Piers nodded to the laptop set up in front of him on the coffee table.

Leon craned his neck towards the laptop screen. The fakest monster costume he had ever seen loomed over a frightened woman on the title screen.

"Night Of the Living Nightmare" the title read in a dripping green and purple font.

When Piers said he had a classic of Galar indie horror to show him, Leon expected a movie with thrilling psychological horror and innovative use of pokemon moves for special effects, not a repainted rubber gyarados mask with extra teeth glued in.

"How old is this movie?" Leon asked, taking off Piers' fashionable, but impractical, coat.

"Would you believe me if I told you it was made only eight years ago?" Piers took the coat from Leon and tossed it in the corner of the couch.

"Really?" He sat next to Peers.

Piers scooted over and pressed against his side. Leon always felt warm, which was part of the reason Piers took his less than warm coat with him. A good excuse to get close as they watched the movie. At least one of them was actually smooth.

He hummed the affirmative.

'The Night Of The Living Nightmare' was a terribly cheesy movie. The fake blood wasn't thick enough, the teeth on the mask fell off half way through, the editing made scenes drag on much too long, and the actors either over exaggerated their lines or delivered them with as much life as a dead magikarp.

All together, 'The Night Of The Living Nightmare' made for a good date movie in Piers' opinion.

"Ready?" Piers already hit play before Leon could answer.

The movie started with a scene of a woman rising up out of a pool. The camera lingered on her chest and stomach and legs before it panned back towards the water. A ripple skittered across the pool water.

The scales on the wishiwashi making the waves gleamed in the harsh set lighting.

The woman dried her hair with a bright pink beach towel. She hummed a pop song that Leon remembered being popular when he was a teenager, but couldn’t recall the name off.

A set of rubber fins slapped against the pool tile. The music grew frantic with each wet slap as the monster neared the woman.

A three clawed hand reached out towards the woman. She spun, screamed in terror and--

"Is that a boom mic?" Leon paused the movie and pointed to the mic in the corner of the screen.

"There are at least seven hangin' around in different shots," Piers confirmed. "You think you can find 'em all?"

Now with a goal of finding all the hidden mics, Leon went to hit play again. Before his fingers brushed the space bar, something let out a loud "Baaaa!"

He bolted up in time to see the front door fly off its hinges, followed by a dubwool.The door and dubwool slammed into the steps. Picture frames crashed to the ground. Glass scattered across the floor.

Outside, several people screamed, then a cinderace then leapt over the dubwool.

It ricocheted off the busted door and aimed a well placed kick into Leon's chest.

----

"...And that's what happened before you brusted in." Leon adjusted the ice pack against his head.

The doctor from Wedgehurts said Leon got lucky that Cinderace's attack only left him with some bruises, bumps, and a mild concussion and not broken bones. When he left, the doctor tutted at the broken door and muttered about kids these days.

Piers set a glass of water on the table in front of Leon and two pain pills beside it.

From across the kitchen table, Hop and Gloria avoided looking at the older trainers. How could they let their imagination get away from them like that? Gloria was the Galar champion and Hop was a professor in training, and yet they really believed assassins had broken in.

How foolish! Leon was a champion, too. Of course he could take care of a few assassin's without their help!

"We're really sorry, Lee," Hop muttered then added quickly, "and Piers."

Gloria added in, "We just wanted to help."

"It's not the first time I've been hit by a pokemon, and it probably won't be the last," Leon reassured after he downed the pain killers.

Piers took a seat. He steepled his fingers and looked over Hop and Gloria with a hard, steady gaze. The two squirmed. Should they apologize again? Get on their knees and beg for forgiveness?

"This wasn't how this was s’pposed to go." Piers sighed, turning to look away and releasing the kids from his stare.

Leon nodded in agreement, only to flinch. He blinked hard until the kitchen finally stopped spinning. The doctor told him not to do anything that required much mental or physical exertion, but he didn't particularly have a choice in this case.

The thought of explaining the door, the wall, the shelf, his head, not to mention Piers, made his head pound in anticipation of the confrontation. Mum would be upset about the door, worried about him, and annoyed about Piers being kept a secret from her.

"I don't get," Hop frowned, "why you two keep this a secret from everyone? What's the big deal?"

Leon scratched his cheek with his finger. "Well, ah, that's because--"

"We were breakin’ rules," Piers cut in.

"Rules? What rules?" Hop wrinkled his brow.

Leon was a grown up now, so the rules Mum set up for dating when he was a teenager didn't apply anymore. Or, Hop thought they didn't. Had Leon broken his curfew to spend time with Piers? Did he leave for a date without telling Mum how long he’d be out?

"The Pokemon League rules. Members of The League aren't allowed to date each other. Conflict of interest and all that," Peers explained. "I was still a gym leader and he was still champion when this started." He nodded towards Leon.

Now Hop felt really confused. He couldn't imagine his big brother breaking a rule like that. Then again, he couldn't imagine Leon breaking curfew either, at least not without a really good reason.

Gloria crossed her arms. This was news to her. What a dumb rule. Who cared if a gym leader wanted to date another leader. What if she wanted to go out with a gym leader? The League could try and stop her!

"I don't think we'll get in too much trouble now, but we figured we'd wait it out before saying anything to anyone." Leon switched the hand holding the ice pack. He wanted this conversation over so he could go lay down and stare at the ceiling for a bit.

A thought crossed Gloria's mind just then. Could it be this The Big Secret Marnie had to tell her in person?

"Does Marnie know?"

"That you two nearly suffocated her brother under a hundred kilo of unknit sweater? She will when I get home." Piers glanced at the side of the kitchen where the pokemon were. Dubwool lowered his gaze. Cinderace coughed into his paws and turned to stare out the window.

"No, did Marnie know about you two?"

Piers raised an eyebrow. "Yeah. She knew."

Gloria's eyes gleamed. Now Marnie owed her a new secret, since Gloria knew this one. It was only fair after all! Maybe this whole ordeal was worth it to learn Marnie’s crushes!

Hop asked, "Is there anything we can do to make this up to you two? We messed up, and we deserve it."

Piers and Leon exchanged looks. Piers shrugged. He could always find them something to do at Spikemuth: the less artistic graffiti needed to be washed off walls, trash picked up, or moss scraped off buildings.

Leon, though, was the one who had actually been hurt so he let the punishment for the kids’ transgression be under his discretion.

"I can think of one thing," Leon said. He gestured for Piers to lean towards him. He covered the side of his mouth and whispered into Piers' ear.

Piers cackled and sent Hop and Gloria a smirk.

"Brilliant. Just brilliant." He clasped Leon on the upper arm and squeezed.

Leon set the ice pack on the table. He reached across and put a firm hand on one of Hop's and one of Gloria's shoulders.

He half smiled. "Someone has to tell Mum what happened to the door, and I don't think it will be me."

---

---

AN: I haven't written a fanfiction in like more than a year. But last year was 2020 so can you blame me?

#pokemon #piers #leon #hop #gloria #piersxleon #one-shot #fanfiction

[alolanrain]

Fangshipping nobody knows how’s ash

I’m gonna guess that you ment to say ‘who’ instead. I also turned this into a little fic things as well ^_^

—————————

Raihan bounces on the top of his feet. Eagerly bouncing around his home as well. It was all cleaned and spiffed you for once, cute fairy lights he finally bought for his living room and kitchen all stocked and cleaned for the incoming week and a half. Arceus he’s so excited!

Checking the time on his Rotom phone one more time Raihan grabbed his wallet and house keys before going to the mud room and slipping on his shoes. He just about pulled the door back and was greeted by Leon with his hand raised to knock on Raihans front door. Piers and Gordie were standing behind him.

“Raihan!” Leon beamed happily.

“Leon,” Raihan smiled a little less happy then before, “Piers, Gordie. What are you guys doing here?”

“Bar hopping.” Pier grunted out. Crossing his arms. “We came to see if you want’ta join us?”

Raihan took a sharp inhale of breath. Smile falling as he watched Leon wilt just a little at his reaction. “Sorry mates,” Raihan scratched at the back of his head while stepping out of the door way and shutting the door, “I’m actually headed to the airport to meet up with someone.”

“Really?” Gordie spoke up, giving Raihan an incredulous look.

“Really.” Raihan smiles a bit brighter this time. “Now if you’ll excuse me mates, I got someone to meet.” And just like that he was down the porch steps, across the large barren garden, and out the gates closing his property in and onto the gravel path that lead to Hammerlocke city. Pulling out his phone and the CorviCab app.

“We’re following,” Piers spoke up after a few minutes as he stared at Leon’s face, “aren’t we?”

Leon didn’t even say a word as he bounded down the step and onto the gravel road in seconds. Leaving Piers and Gordie to scramble after him, yelling at Leon to wait.

————

Raihan was near vibrating in his skin. Watching as People slowly walked past him into the ticket lines. He signed a few things here or there for passing fans and was mobbed once and a while for pictures. It was all fine since the plane he was waiting for is actually a tiny bit behind schedule. It gave him half an hour just to chill hack and people watch for once, even though he was nervous as all fuck. He didn’t even notice the three very familiar people watching him from a cafe table just across from him.

Piers had his hair tired up. Dressed more comfy and he was glad that he brought a warmer sweater, Airports are always cold for him. Gordie didn’t even try but switch out his shades for a darker pair and messed his hair up just a tad. It still worked for him and Leon was a bit jealous. Leon himself had his hair tied up to. Cap and glasses obscured his face.

“He’s just... standing there!” Leon whines and let his head rest against the table. Board out of his mind and waning curiosity getting to him.

“That’s what you do when you wait for someone, idiot.” Piers snarled around the straw he was drinking from.

“Hey.” The Champion weakly objected but said nothing more of.

“Oh,” Gordie finally spoke up, making the other two immediately look over to Raihan, “he spotted someone.”

True to Gordie words, Raihan looked like a damn near wiggling Yamper. Eyes tracking something until a Pikachu came bounding out of a crowd of passing people and jumping straight into his arms.

“Pikachu!” Raihan cried out happily and easily rubbing his cheeks back into the frantic mouse Pokémon, “I know, I know! I miss you too.”

“Raihan! There you are!” A voice spoke up.

Raihan couldn’t help but nearly melt into the ground when his bright blue eyes met warm hazels.

Leon watched in renewed curiosity as a very short, to Galar standards, male came jogging up to the Gym Leader. Black fluffy hair that looked sinfully soft and the warmest of hazel eyes he’s ever seen.

“Ash!” Raihan greeted happily. Pikachu climbing up into his head so he could use both his arms to fully wrap Ash into a hug, making Ash drop his luggage bag and lifting the tiny Kantonian off the ground.

“Raihan!” Ash squealed his name again, wiggling his feet in the air. “Set me down please.”

The dragon tamer did just that. Hands lingering on Ash’s shoulders before fully dropping back down to his side. “So...” he drawled nervously.

“So?” Ash asked. Bending down to grab his luggage again and offering an arm out to Pikachu who happily chattered and purred on top of Raihans head. Very clearly not moving and content where he is.

“You must be tired.” Raihan broke out of what her haze he was shortly in. Hands flying back up to nervously hover around Ash’s body. “You look absolutely exhausted! Look at those bags under your eyes. Have you been sleeping well?” Raihan gently pulled at the skin under one of ash’s eyes.

“I haven’t slept the past three days.” Aah happily learned into the hand before jerking awake and pulling back sheepishly. “Never could really sleep on planes.”

Leon continued to watch in wrapped fascination as Raihan fluttered around this ‘Ash’. The boys Pikachu’s tail gently tapped the back of Raihans head and soon enough Raihan grabbed Ash’s luggage out of the boys hand and started hearding him out of the airport. Babbling on and on about something Leon didn’t understand and could no longer hear.

“Sonia and Nessa are gonna flip when they see this.” Piers started tapping away at his own Rotom phone. Leon wondered when he pulled that out but didn’t object. “Nessa is understandable yelling in the chat but Sonia is being unusually quiet.”

Leon was happy he had his phone shut off and on do not disturbed. Something he recently learned how to do so that Oleana and Rose couldn’t bother him on his days off.

“Oh!” Piers raised a critical eyebrow as he read something that must have popped up on his screen. “Sonia just saw and she’s livid.”

Leon nodded, already standing up after handing the waitress their check with money and telling her to keep the change, he grabbed at Gordie again. Making the man squawk with surprise and struggle to set the drink down before it got pulled away with him as well.

Piers sighed and got up after them. “I really do hate all this walking.” He bemoaned loudly even though Leon highly probably couldn’t hear him with Gordie whining in his ear.

————

Nessa and Sonia met up with them at the small rolling hills just besides Raihans house. The perfect view in the front and back yard.

“If the Paparazzi find this spot, Raihan’s basically trapped in his own house.” Piers grumbled. Head leaning down onto the cool night grass. The other four didn’t say anything to the Gym Leader. More focus in coming up with a way to get Raihan to spill about who ever this ‘Ash’ person is.

“Oh look!” Piers spike up a bit louder when he noticed the sliding back door opening.

Everyone turned their head to see what Piers was and it got real quite afterwards.

“Everyone come on out!” The tiny raven haired trainer yelled happily. Throwing his Poké balls up into the air.

“Is that Ash?” Nessa spoke up. Leaning into Leon’s side that Sonia wasn’t taking up. The Champion hymn in confirmation. “He’s cute.”

“He is!” Sonia agreed readily. Eyes widening as the Pokémon materialized in Raihans large back yard. “Holy shit!” She hissed. Flattening her body more into the hill side.

“You must be Melmetal!” Raihan padded off the back porch and reached over to the giant glimmering Pokémon. “Ash kept spamming me pictures of you when you were just a Meltant.”

“Raihan!” Ash cries out in embarrassment as his Incineroar caught him in a near bone crushing hug.

“Lycanroc!” Lycanroc barked. Happily padding around Raihan and licking the palm of his hand. Settling down by his feet and watched as Ash pried himself from Incineroar’s hug.

“Hey buddy.” Raihan mumbled. “It’s good to see you too.”

Rowlet cooed above from a branch it settled down. Opening its wings the grass peel Pokémon gently floated down to Raihans waiting arms. The gym leader scooping the grass type form the air and hugging it close. The three watched Ash interact with Incineroar and Melmetal.

Pikachu opted to stay inside, curled up with Raihans Flygon on a pile of blankets by the gas fireplace, then to meet his Alolan team mates.

“Watch’cha thinking about?” Ash asked. Padding over with Incineroar close on his heels. He took Rowlet from Raihans arms and watched happily as Raihan greeted the fire Pokémon. Incineroar purred loudly as it rocked its face more and more into Raihans hands that were petting its cheeks.

“Just ho amazing my boyfriend is!” Raihan teased.

“Ah!” Ash whined wordlessly. Face blooming red in embarrassment. “Raihan!” He grumbled once more.

“Just spitting straight truth!” The large Gyn Leader crowed happily.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Ash groaned grabbing a everyone’s Poké balls, “return everyone!”

“Aw!” Raihan whined jokingly, “and we were just about to have some fun to.”

Ash rolled his eyes but couldn’t help the smile that filtered into his lips. “I would like some fun with my boyfriend to, you know.”

“Oh?” Raihan asked. Pupils already blowing up. “And what kind of ‘fun’ do you want to have?”

Ash didn’t answer. Only using his fingers to beckon Raihan to bend down. He curled his arms and kissed his boyfriends. Arching with a gasp as Raihan slid his hands from the back of Ash’s shoulder blades down to his ass to squeeze it.

Ash was picked up so that Raihan didn’t need to keep bending over to kiss him. Legs curling around Raihans lower stomach as he held on tight.

“I like this kind of fun,” Raihan growled happily against Ash’s lips, making the Champion shutter in expectation, “but I think we’ll have even better fun if we do this in the bedroom.”!

“Take me away then,” Ash giggles when Raihan dove back for a smaller and chaste kiss, “my dear Dragon.”

————

“Well damn.” Piers spoke up. Watching with raised eyebrows as Raihan carried Ash inside. Presumably to go have sex in bed.

“I was...” Nessa’s face scrunched up in thoughtfulness and disgust at the implications of Raihans words hit her, “not expecting that.”

Sonia and Leon didn’t say anything. Their own cheeks a little bit red as they pressed their shoulders more into the grass.

“Welp!” Gordie’s hands hit the grass lightly before pushing himself up. “I’m going home now that we figured this out. Night!”

#wolfy answers #ash ketchum #gym leader raihan #champion leon #piers #gordie #nessa #sonia #fangshipping #little fic my ass #this grew #im not sorry

[detroit-become-magic]

Leo Manfred: Green Witch

So continuing on with my magic headcanons in a sci-fi video games, a weird few headcanons came in the form of Leo Manfred. For purposes of this AU, he is not a complete wreck. Without much ado, let’s go!

Leo always had a green thumb. Magic has always had the tendency of presenting young. He’s found out he likes playing mud and gardening ever since he was introduced in the great outdoors. 

Even if the great painter Carl Manfred is recognised as his dad, he feels like Carl doesn’t acknowledge as his dad. He retreats himself to his plats, talking to them like people. 

This of course concerns his mother who tries her best. She pushes him to get friends. They’re pretty cool and all to Leo but he likes plants more. 

Leo meets a woman at the local gardening store for his seventh birthday to pick up a new plant. It’s the first time he feels connected to someone. He can smell rich pine and the clean air of the forest around her. 

The woman leaves her card for him to contact. Blaire, botanist, environmentalist, and, apparently, green witch.

Blaire and Leo’s mom become fast friends and eventually girlfriends. It works out in the end because Leo now has a green witch in the house that can guide him. 

Because Leo has stable parental figures in his life, Carl’s absence doesn’t affect him as much as it does in canon. So he’s more emotionally mature. (Still an idiot sometimes, but everybody is an idiot sometimes)

Leo, because he’s a green witch, cares very much for the environment. Which  is why he doesn’t appreciate the progressions of technology harming the environment and recycles appropriately. 

Leo’s ten when he loses his sight. It’s a mishap at a swimming pool on a school excursion. Only a few were harmed but Leo was blinded. He’s had some surgery (paid generously by daddy dearest who is never there) so he can perceive some light but his optical nerves were seriously damaged. 

Learning how to cope with being blind is fun (unless you can’t tell, I’m being sarcastic here). Leo’s hooked up with a braille tutor, has to change his entire lifestyle and has to be that extra touch careful. 

But strangely he can talk to plants in a way. The green witch in him can use plants as a sort of radar to help him walk around. Leo retreats even further into gardening.

It’s not a good idea to bother the blind kid who happens to be a witch. His classmates didn’t know about the witch part though. Attitudes to the supernatural range from fearful to downright snide by the mundane. A few kids thought it’d be funny to steal his lunch and play piggy in the middle with it. 

Unlucky for them, Leo was resting against an old oak tree, slowly dying because the polluted soil it was planted on. The tree roots lurch, rising up as if it was starting to move and the branch slither around. It’s only meant to scare and it does, leaving the kids running for the hills. 

Leo goes back to reading his book, (printed in braille)

It’s around when he’s sixteen that he enters his ‘punk’ faze. It’s not really a punk faze. He just starts listening to a lot of angry music, gets taken to underground concerts by friends that are both human and magical.

When Leo enters college, that’s when Leo starts making bad decisions. Namely, drugs. 

College is the phase where you start experimenting and, hey, since everybody was getting doped up, why couldn’t Leo? He could do everything they could do. 

Cocaine, red ice, meth, cannabis, he does it all. But thanks to his weird witch biology, he always detoxes and the high never lasts. But being good at gardening, he starts growing a few illicit plants. 

In his second year, he creates a prototype of a new drug that’s like red ice. It affects supernatural creatures more than humans. A few of his ‘friends’ want to refine the substance and promise to give Leo a cut of the profits if he gives them the formula. 

And hey, it’s money, why not? (Leo, you stupid idiot.)

Leo is a common sight at environment sort of protests and has at some point used his powers to attack development projects. The police never find out it’s him doing that, since there are so many other people and Leo can get lost in a crowd. Also Leo is not above pulling the blind card. 

Meetings with his father are always stilted and awkward. It’s enough for Leo to get an impression that his dad is disappointed in him. Carl knows about the whole witch thing but he’s never taken magic seriously since it’s not common anymore and more of a fairy tale these days. 

Kamski on the other hand is very interested in the witch thing. It’s not his first brush with the supernatural. In fact, he has a half-brother that’s a werewolf (*cough, cough* Gavin *cough, cough*). But Leo is not a big fan of what Kamski represents which is further destruction of the environment with the development of androids and harvesting of thirium so half the time he crosses Kamski, he’s either picking a fight or ignoring him. 

Remember the stupid drug deal Leo made a few points back? It comes back to haunt him. 

His friends want a new formula with a little ‘added insurance’.

Carl doesn’t enjoy the same protection given to Leo’s mother from the supernautral and is basically a sitting duck. So a few guys break into his mansion, hold him hostage and wait for Leo to come back.

During this time, Carl is severely roughed up to the point his spine is damaged. 

When Leo comes back, he is pissed. You see, Carl has plants in every room and they tend to react to Leo’s mood. So when he’s pissed, the plants are influence by his rogue power breaking free of their constraints and growing monstrous in form, wrapping around the intruders in vines. 

Leo is this close to killing them when his father calls out for help. Leo does what he can to stabilise the damage done to his father, using what little healing magic he knows to reduce the swelling and directing his father’s cells on where they need to go, all the while rapidly muttering sorry’s, please forgive me’s over and over again.

Leo’s case is taken up by the Pa.In Bureau (short for Paranormal Investigation Bureau, because the guys who founded it thought it’d be funny to call the overarching law enforcement agency for the paranormal ‘pain’.)

Leo’s facing 7 years in Drakennoff for environmental terrorism, gross misuse of supernatural powers and creating and distributing unregulated magical substances. Leo manages to get a reduced sentence in a deal where he gave names and information and handed over his illegally acquired funds. 

His parents, all 3 of them, are not happy. Leo knows this. He knows he did a stupid thing that ended up seriously hurting a lot of people including his father. So Leo does the grown up thing and face the consequences. 

Leo does go to jail for 2 years before released out. 

Carl has been through the motions, coming to terms with his paraplegia, depression and anger at his son. He and Leo don’t talk anymore. 

Leo’s moms are mad. They understand that yes Leo has screwed up and wants to make up for it but goddammit they taught him the difference between right and wrong and he did something massively wrong! But they do try and make it work. 

The supernatural community is usually cool with ex-cons and criminals. They’re a pretty underground society with most of them having done something wrong in their lives. Meaning, it’s not hard for blind guy Leo with a prior for drugs to get a job. 

Leo actually changes his name after he gets out of prison. This is more for security so nothing is traced back to his family. He changes it to Leon Adair, not much of an extreme change but it’s there. 

He manages to get a job at an apothecary/cafe that caters to the supernatural and human. (The humans that end up are hipsters and health nuts). Leo is an unofficial doctors, specialising in blends, tisanes, poisons and, of course, plants. 

Some people do ask how he’s able to do what he does being blind. Leo says it’s years of practice and plants. 

Leo lives on the other side of Detroit, far, far, far from Carl Manfred and he figures he’ll never see him again like this. Well, hear him, since Leo can’t really do the seeing part well. 

He meets Markus by total accident. Leo is on the way to work and since the Bellini Paint Markus usually goes to is out of commission for remodelling, he had to go to the other branch store which is near why Leo works. 

Long story short, Markus is stopped by some anti-android protesters and is getting roughed by. He is that close to deviating when Leo steps in. Leo has no idea about Markus, All he knows is somebody is beating up an android and they’re in the way, he needs to get to work and get started working on the blends or otherwise he’ll be so overworked, he’ll cause an accident.  

So he pretends to be the struggling blind person who’s lost and they can’t find their helper android who he pretends is Markus. And these protesters, they’re not that much of an asshole (at least some of them) and let them through with apologies for causing trouble. 

“Thank you,” Markus says. 

“Shut the fuck up. You reek of thirium. It’s sickening.”

“You’re Leo Manfred, aren’t you?”

“No, I’m not.” Leo walks away, slams the door to his apothecary. He knows the no androids sign is there, keeping the plastic outside. 

Unfortunately, the android now collects paints from the Bellini near where Leo works. Meaning Leo has to suffer weekly crossing with Markus who keeps talking to him for some reason. 

It’s not long until Carl shows up. It’s been a few years with no contact whatsoever. Carl’s in a different place now. He’s chill, he’s sorted through his stuff and he wants to reconnect with his son. 

So he shows up where Leo works. At first, Leo doesn’t know (being blind). Carl’s just watching him, not saying anything. It isn’t until Leo’s co-worker points out that an old man has been coming in with an android (that’s definitely not allowed) that he knows his dad’s there. 

And Leo just straight up acts like he can’t see him. Because he can’t. He pretends his dad isn’t there and keeps on working as he usually does. 

It’s until Carl’s had enough and punches Leo in the gut just as he’s closing up that Leo even acknowledges the man. 

“What was that for?!” Leo spits out. “Wait, no, don’t answer that. I already know.”

“Well, then you should apologise.”

Carl is scarily forgiving of Leo (as I said before, he’s had years to deal with his anger) but Leo is still a little hesitant because he knows what it’s like for be seriously physically damaged and caused that to another person. 

Markus is actually fascinated with Leo, well, his magic to be more precise. It’s just really cool. This is a thing with androids where they just really like magic. It’s a contrast to what they are and it can’t be explained. 

Imma just end it here. If you have requests for magic in Detroit or anything else, feel free to leave an ask in my box!

#detroit become human #leo manfred #markus #carl manfred #dbh #headcannons #green witch leo au #tw: drugs

[joneswilliam72]

The 405 curated streaming queue #1A, March 2019 – totally free streaming choices.

The world of streaming is getting more and more dense with more and more options for the average viewer among more and more outlets to choose from.

Indeed, the sheer volume of content is daunting. But this climate also offers a tremendous amount of quality choices. If one knows where to look.

Toward that end, at The 405 I will be sharing a snapshot every month of my entire streaming queue across Hulu, Amazon, Tubi TV, PlutoTV, Sony Crackle, Netflix, MUBI and Vudu – all of which have apps for one’s smart TV in addition to the usual mobile fare. We will be adding entries for other free services like IMDb Freedive, and other paid services like The Criterion Channel, as they expand their smart TV capability. I have taken into account truly great films in most every genre in making this list and will continue to do so.

Tubi TV, Sony Crackle, and PlutoTV are all free all time (with adds), Vudu has a tremendous amount of free content but also pay content (all entries on this list for Vudu are free with ads). Hulu, Amazon, and Netflix are of course pay options.

Towards that end, entries over the free services will be in this article and entries in the paid services will be coming a little later this month. This template will be repeated from month to month as the platforms rotate new titles in.

The options below are on their respective outlets as of March 11, 2019. As I am in the US, they may not be accessible to viewers who are not. I cannot guarantee that one way or the other.

This is also just a snapshot. To list my entire queue would make this article unbearably long. What I have included below are the choices in my queue that I consider to be the most essential, must-see, and the highest quality. Links to each film at the respective service are embedded in each bold title below, along with the film’s trailer after the description.

Stay tuned for “The 405 curated streaming queue #1B, March 2019 – paid edition” for the best of my queue on the paid services, Hulu, Netflix, and Amazon.

I. Vudu

Still from Darren Aronofsky’s first film PI (1998). Source:Nerdist.

Tootsie

The classic starring Dustin Hoffman as a down-on-his-luck actor who cross dresses to gain a part on a TV show is always a fun watch and really essential if you have not seen it. Tootsie was directed by the one and only Sydney Pollack (Out of Africa) too.

The Last Witness

The Last Witness is a WWII murder mystery about a very real massacre of 22,000 Poles by Stalin and the Red Army. Catch my interview with director Piotr Szkopiak here.

A Scanner Darkly

Based on the Philip K. Dick novel, A Scanner Darkly is a dark, dystopian wonder with a lot to say on the human condition.

Pi

Pi is Darren Aronofsky’s first feature length film. It tells the story of a migraneur mathematician obsessed with the Bible Code and the people chasing him. In its monochrome, frenetic, and sublimely beautiful style, Pi is a cannot-miss.

Bully

From Kids director Larry Clark, Bully is a gritty look at teenagers and a murder plot involving their bully in 1990s California. It is a visceral gut punch of a movie that anyone who appreciates great cinema will love.

Irreversible

Gaspar Noé brings us a vicious, incredible, seemingly-random story of violence in Paris in a way only he can. Irreversible was the follow-up feature to his I Stand Alone, which was terrifyingly brutal in its own right. While both films are hard to watch, this is very intentional considering the subject matter and should not deter the viewer as Noé’s horrifying elegance is one-of-a-kind among directors.

Last Man Standing (NOT the Tim Allen TV show)

Bruce Willis is a mob hit man getting in gun fights in a Texas ghost town – which is a setting not often seen in mob movies. Last Man Standing is an action flick with a story the one and only Akira Kurosawa contributed to the story of – Last Man Standing (like Sergio Leone’s Fistful of Dollars in 1964) is a retelling of Kurosawa’s 1961 classic Yojimbo which is itself based on “The Maltese Falcon” author Dashiell Hammett’s novel “Red Harvest”. The Coen Brothers”– and Frances McDormand’s – incredible 1984 film debut Blood Simple. also got its title from a quote in “Red Harvest”.

Amityville II: The Possession

One of the best in the Amityville franchise and starring the incomparable ‘80s sex symbol, actress Diane Franklin who started the teen heartthrob curly-haired revolution. My interview with Diane can be read here.

The Machinist

Christian Bale stars as an insomniac machinist with a very dark secret. Bale lost an incredible amount of weight to play the part – dropping around 60 pounds, he is damn near unrecognizable in it – and his acting does not disappoint. Come to think of it, neither does the writing or filmmaking of this black as night neo-noir. The Machinist is truly a must-see.

Delicatessen

Delicatessen is a darkly funny, brilliantly-surrealist, post-apocalyptic fantasy. This is one you have to see to believe.

II. PlutoTV – Note that PlutoTV does not have a search function that I could see. You have to scroll through the relevant section for a title. Therefore, I have noted which section I found each title in next to its listing. While the site’s features and navigation frankly suck something awful, PlutoTV does offer an exceedingly wide breadth of great films and overlooked gems.

Still from TEETH (2007). Source:Bloody Good Horror.

The Evil Dead (horror)

Sam Raimi’s The Evil Dead tops more than a few “essential horror cinema” lists for good reason.

Night of the Living Dead (classic movies)

More essential horror, this time from the master George Romero. Night of the Living Dead is still scaring many an audience after nearly 51 years.

Hellraiser (horror)

A third entry for essential horror, this time from the great Clive Barker who both wrote the “Hellraiser” novels and directed the film.

Bronson (thriller)

Bronson is a loosely-true, biographical film of “the most violent prisoner in England”(an electric Tom Hardy) from The Neon Demon and Drive (look for Drive under the Sony Crackle section lower down this page) director Nicolas Winding Refn. NWR also runs a streaming site that is pretty incredible in its own right: bynwr.com specializes in restoring, then streaming, old cult classics and great movies that fly below the radar. Restorations are personally supervised by NWR and the site is always free to watch and read the treasure trove of information it shares on each film. The paid MUBI service streams these films on the larger mobile and smart TV ecosystem.

Children of the Corn (horror)

The feature length horror classic from Stephen King all about a couple whose car breaks down in a tiny Nebraska town with homicidal child religious zealots. Children of the Corn did a lot to define Stephen King’s horror on the big screen in the 1980s.

Bug (indies)

Bug is an overlooked gem of psychological horror starring Ashley Judd and directed by cinematic legend William Friedkin of The Exorcist, Wages of Fear, and The French Connection.

Donnie Darko (indies)

One of the most significant head-trips I’ve ever experienced at the movies – Jake Gyllenhaal is sublimely terrifying as the titular character who just so happens to have a homicidal rabbit named Frank as his hallucinatory friend. Donnie Darko messes with your sense of time and reality in incredible ways that no fan of serious, cerebral horror should miss.

Freakonomics: The Movie (documentaries)

An exceptional movie after an exceptional book (which I also highly recommend). Freakonomics will teach you to think counter-intuitively and reason like the rogue economist who wrote it.

Teeth (horror)

Teeth is a blood-chilling feminist horror film about a woman with literal vagina dentata (look it up) that became much more relevant in the #MeToo era. Read my interview with Teeth’s lead star Jess Weixler here.

The Merchant of Venice (drama)

Al Pacino stars in 1984 director Michael Radford’s 2004 take on Shakespeare’s play. Watch for the incredible realism here: for instance, the prostitutes are topless in the beginning scene not because Radford wanted a racier movie, but because it was the law in Venice, where authorities thought it would stomp out homosexuality. My interview with Radford can be read here.

Melancholia (indies)

Melancholia is Lars von Trier’s surreal story about two sisters (Kirsten Dunst, Charlotte Gainsbourg) who find their already strained relationship at its breaking point as a mysterious planet is colliding with Earth. While far from von Trier’s best (that, in my opinion, goes to the profoundly nihilistic Antichrist), Melancholia is well worth a watch.

A Star is Born (classic movies)

The 1937 original with Frederic March and Janet Gaynor.

Suddenly (classic movies)

A thriller with Frank Sinatra as the baddie along with Sterling Hayden? Count me in.

His Girl Friday (classic movies)

Cary Grant is always a great watch with his one-of-a-kind humor and goofiness. The great Howard Hawks (the original 1932 Scarface, The Big Sleep, Bringing Up Baby) directs.

House on Haunted Hill (classic movies)

The original 1959 horror classic based on the book by Shirley Jackson and starring the immortal Vincent Price, this is essential modern gothic horror.

D.O.A. (classic movies)

Edmond O’Brien is California businessman Frank Bigelow who is poisoned when he heads to San Francisco. Can Bigelow find his own murderer before the poison acts? D.O.A. is a fantastic, frenetic film noir directed by prolific cinematographer Rudolph Maté who worked on classics from The Passion of Joan of Arc to Hitchcock’s Foreign Correspondent.

Algiers (classic movies)

Hedy Lamarr and Gaslight’s Charles Boyer star in this locational love story that did quite a lot to convince the studios of Casablanca’s merits four years after Algiers came out.

He Walked By Night (classic movies)

Richard Basehart is a cold blooded killer in this noir that acted as a forerunner to TV’s Dragnet.

Indiscreet (classic movies)

Indiscreet is one of screen legend Gloria Swanson’s first talkies. Wanna see what the experience behind her immortal portrayal of Norma Desmond in Billy Wilder’s Sunset Boulevard (1950) looks like? Indiscreet is a definitive entry in the canon of a powerful actress that helped build that indelible foundation as Norma Desmond in Wilder’s movie.

Maniac (classic movies)

A fascinating example of early grindhouse cinema (from 1934) in its violent, disturbing style, Maniac (originally titled “Sex Maniac”) tells the story of a former vaudevillian who is skilled as an impersonator as he aids a mad scientist in re-animating the dead.

They Made Me a Criminal (classic movies)

An essential early noir starring the great John Garfield (The original Postman Always Rings Twice).

The Strange Love of Martha Ivers (classic movies)

More essential noir and Kirk Douglas’s film debut. Barbara Stanwyck also delivers knock-out performance.

Goya’s Ghosts (drama)

Goya’s Ghosts is an incredible look at a scandal involving the mistress (Natalie Portman) of legendary Spanish painter Francisco de Goya (Javier Bardem). Milos Forman (Amadeus) directed and co-wrote this fantastic, based-on-a-true-story historical piece.

III. Sony Crackle.

Ryan Gosling in DRIVE (2011). Source:Japan Times.

Sexy Beast

Sir Ben Kingsley earned an Oscar nomination for the role of brutal British gangster Don Logan in this Jonathan Glazer-directed crime thriller.

The Haunting

Catherine Zeta-Jones and Liam Neeson star in this more modern take on Shirley Jackson’s “The Haunting of Hill House.”

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels is Guy Ritchie’s breakout London crime comedy that is always a treat to watch. Check out my interview with Rocketman director and actor Dexter Fletcher who plays Soap in Lock, by heading here.

Arlington Road

Jeff Bridges plays a college professor who suspects his new neighbor (Tim Robbins) may be an alt-right domestic terrorist. It is sad how timely a thriller Arlington Road still is (it is 20 this year) – but even if it wasn’t, Arlington Road is still a taut and very well-executed.

Drive

Nicolas Winding Refn directs this neo-noir with Ryan Gosling as a stuntman who moonlights as a getaway driver with a conscience. The visual palette of Drive is absolutely incredible with its neon-drenched, realist, California scenes – made all the more incredible because Winding Refn is actually color blind in that he is physically unable to see midtones. If you like movies like Nightcrawler, you’ll really like Drive.

Lords of Dogtown

Heath Ledger, John Robinson, and Emile Hirsch star in this look at the skateboarding trends that developed in the 1970s in Venice, CA. Catherine Hardwicke (Twilight, Miss Bala) directs Lords of Dogtown.

IV. Tubi TV

Still from CARNIVAL OF SOULS (1962). Source:The Criterion Collection.

Memento

Christopher Nolan’s epic 2000 neo-noir murder mystery told in reverse chronology. Starring Guy Pearce and Carrie-Anne Moss, Memento is undoubtedly one of the best and most influential neo-noirs of the early 2000s.

Mulholland Dr.

David Lynch’s surreal magnum opus is a movie I’ve written about extensively at The 405 – read my original analysis of it here. Mulholland Dr. is essential cinema for the modern world. Check out my interview with Oscar-nominee Robert Forster, who was in Mulholland Dr., here.

True Grit

The Coen Brothers version of the classic western from 1969, with Jeff Bridges in John Wayne’s part of Rooster Cogburn. True Grit was nominated for 10 Academy Awards.

Hugo

Martin Scorsese’s multi-Oscar winning love letter to classic cinema. Hugo (with its PG rating) also functions really well as a family film that has substance and can teach your kids a thing or two about the great Georges Méliès who directed one of the first great movies in the early 1900s: A Trip to the Moon.

The Bird With the Crystal Plumage

The 1970 giallo classic from Dario Argento. The Bird With the Crystal Plumage is a defining film for giallo as a style in its reluctant detective story about an American who witnesses a murder at an art gallery in Rome and tries to piece his recollections together for the carbineri.  .

The 50 Worst Movies Ever Made

An entertaining, self-explanatory documentary. Every cineaste should know about The 50 Worst Movies Ever Made.

Multiple Maniacs

Multiple Maniacs is the definitive John Waters classic. Read The 405 interview with him here.

Reefer Madness (In Color and Restored)

While it isn’t the monochrome original from 1936, Reefer Madness is an essential watch to understand the racist and hype-driven roots of America’s Drug War. It is definitive in that area and even birthed terms like “voodoo pharmacology.”

The Goode Family

Another brilliant satirical show from Beavis and Butt-Head creator Mike Judge. The Goode Family is a scathing sendup of modern leftism and was beloved by many regular leftists when it was on for one season in 2009 because it shows a regular family. Think King of the Hill with weird vegan hippies and not Texans and you’ll understand this half hour show. Alas, petulant, safe-space-hiding critics hated The Goode Family and crucified it till the plug was pulled. Still, the lower than average ratings also didn’t help the shows ultimate destiny. But don’t let that deceive you: this is quality – and very funny – satire. See the pilot below.

The Little Shop of Horrors

A fantastic little piece of comedic horror from 1960, Roger Corman directs The Little Shop of Horrors.

The Hitch-Hiker

The Hitch-Hiker was the first Hollywood film noir directed by a woman: the incomparable actress and filmmaker Ida Lupino. Edmond O’Brien stars.

Carnival of Souls

A remarkable low budget but high-concept, psychologically-driven horror flick made by Herk Harvey, a Kansas filmmaker who specialized in industrial films in 1962. The film’s entire budget was sourced over the course of one weekend in Lawrence, Kansas. Carnival of Souls is a must-see that bombed when it first came out but is now viewed as a standard-bearer of superb psychological horror.

Suspiria

The Dario Argento horror classic which was recently remade by Luca Guadagnino.

1984

Director Michael Radford’s superb take (the 1956 version, done almost 25 years before this one, was essentially panned by Orwell’s widow for neutering the more brutal lessons Orwell intended in the novel) on George Orwell’s powerful and timely novel of an authoritarian future. Read my interview with actress Suzanna Hamilton who played Julia in 1984, by going here.

Dial M For Murder

Dial M is the Alfred Hitchcock suspense classic starring Ray Milland and Grace Kelly. Warner Brothers insisted the film be shot in 3D, which Hitchcock did not want. The craze was fading but Hitchcock gave in to their wishes. Still, like all his movies, Dial M is nerve-shredding.

The Naked Kiss

A 1964 crime drama about a prostitute working out her psychological demons. Prolific auteur Samuel Fuller (The Big Red One, Shock Corridor) is the mind behind The Naked Kiss.

Five Minutes to Live

Johnny Cash stars as hood Johnny Cabot in this 1961 crime flick directed by Bill Karn. Five Minutes to Live was the only feature length film the Man in Black acted in in the ‘60s, he would go on to do more in the intervening decades before his death in 2003.

Kansas City Confidential

Kansas City Confidential is a rather under-rated film noir with John Payne as an ex con trying to go straight who is framed for an armed car robbery and must go to Mexico to seek justice and the truth.

Gothic

Gothic is the great Ken Russell's take on the infamous story of what happened the night Mary Shelley wrote “Frankenstein” with Gabriel Byrne as Lord Byron and Natasha Richardson as Mary Shelley. Russell’s work is always bold and boundary-pushing: if you like Gothic, you owe it to yourself to see his 1971 film The Devils too, although you’ve probably already seen The Who’s Tommy – probably Russell’s best known directorial effort.

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