#to keep this sad i dont think john went and made a deal to bring sam back. so sam stays dead | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dylansslutt · 3 years

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daddy issues 2/ r.c

part two of daddy issues!!!

this was highly requested along with taking forever to be posted. life’s been crazy, went to mystic falls (covington, georgia) tons of stuff of tvd coming! along with seeing Harry in concert.

also this will have a third part, this will be steaming but only..

WARNINGS: THIS CHAPTER IS VERY INTENSE AND ROUGH. DEALING WITH ABUSE OF (LUKE) ALONG WITH ABUSE OF NEAR RAPE EXPERIENCE !!!! ALSO DEALS WITH COCAINE AND HURTFUL WORDS ECT.

IF YOU HAVE ANY TRIGGERS TO THESE DO NOT READ! FOR OTHERS there is another chapter

lmk if you think it should lead to rough/sad ending , or steamy sexy ending. i cant decide.

if you enjoy leave some love :) NONE OF MY WORK SHOULD BE REWRITTEN! ALL WORK IS MINE. DONT STEAL PLS!!!

___

“If anything goes south you can always call me. What utter bullshit.” Selene mumbles to herself. Of course, rafe would play the nice guy. after the fact that he just got jj fucking arrested.

He beat the shit out of Pope, while delivering groceries the day he was at work. Him and topper hit him with golf clubs, literally jumped the poor kid.

So pope and JJ sink toppers boat, and Jj takes the blame. I bit my lip as I watched my brother come out the door with my dad. With everything going on I got stuck back with Luke.

I would’ve left by now, but not making much money for a apartment, and leaving jay stuck by himself. No thanks, that would be awful. i want to get a second job, prove i can support myself along with jj... maybe john b too if i could; he has enough shit on his plate.

I sink back into my seat as the arrive closer to the truck, knowing it’s best to be quiet. Luke sat there for a second before throwing a punch towards jj.

“Dad!” I lean forward grabbing his arm, ��stop!” his elbow swings back slamming into my nose. Blood immediately pours from it. i grip my nose, as jj blood splatters against the window.

“Do you know how much y’a fuckin’ costed me?” Another swing. Tears fell down my cheeks, searing pain radiates through my face. i glance around through my blurred vision, grabbing the biggest thing near me.

i swung it, luke thrown forward by the blow of the binder in my hand.

“ENOUGH!”

jj is cowered in the corner, i try to move back as his eyes lifted; making direct contact with mine. he glared, without a blink swung his fist back towards me. my ears rang as my head flew towards the right. catching myself against the back car window.

ringing was all i heard, the motion of the car bringing me to reality. i tried to keep quiet but the pain was unbearable.

Everything was quiet, or maybe it’s just the ringing in my ears. I struggle to keep my vision straight. He almost knocked me the fuck out.

I know by now that what I just did was the stupidest thing alive, but I had to get him off jay’s back. I leaned against the window, holding my groans in.

The pain was unbearable.

i sat quietly in the back, trying to stop my nose from bleeding. i knew once we got home it was a ‘pack our shit- and dip’ type of shit. i catch jay’s eyes in the rearview mirror a few times; i tried my best to avoid his gaze.

it hurt me, a lot. i was the oldest, im the one supposed to take care of this; of us. to watch my own father beat my brother, swing on me. it hurt. i dont have the physical strength to handle my fathers drunken rage.

i have to get us out of here, i need to find a second job asap. help take care of my family. i ignored my fathers remarks on the way back to the house, knowing silence was the best of option.

jj quickly rushed in avoiding my father. i trailed after him, slipping into my room. i allow myself to cry softly as i stare at my image in the mirror. i was 19 years old, and i looked weak and pathetic.

the music and yells from the living room made me divert my eyes, landing on my lit up phone.

i quickly picked it up, a message from jay.

are u coming with me to john b’s

i bit my lip, no debate there honestly.

yes.

ill be out in the front, gimme like 5 mins

—

I sat on the hammock outside, enjoying time to myself. Everyone knew to let me be alone, when I needed it.

The soft breeze cooled my skin from the summer heat. I could almost fall asleep out here.

My phone buzzes making my eyebrows furrow, I glance at the message

rafe

no text ? Ouch.

I rolled my eyes, not even bothering to answer. I already smoked tonight. The alcohol i drank not even doing anything i wished for.

You knew who Barry was, your dads dealer. You’ve dealt with him a few times when you and your friends use to get stuff.

And now I really wanted some. I wanted to end this miserable night with something fun.

I find Barry’s number through my endless contacts. Asking if I can swing by in 15 mins.

I sat up going inside, I ignore the laughs from the group as I grab some cash and my bag.

I stopped awkwardly at the hall, “hey guys. Madison and Luke broke up, girl code gonna go help.” I mention w girl I used to hang out with as a excuse.

Kie gives me soft eyes, “ugh that sucks!” jj nods and everyone else goes back to what they were doing.

It’s scary how good I can lie, just like that. No questions.

i made way down the road, praying my dad didn’t randomly decide to pop up. eventually, i made way up the front of barry’s place. your dads truck wasn’t here so you knew you were in the clear

already texted barry my arrival, i made way into the house. the mix of cigarette’s and weed filled my nostrils. my eyes scan the area, particularly landing on a certain someone.

the one that caused everything today.

rafe cameron.

i ignore his presence, not even wondering why he’s here, or what he’s here for. barry not so far from the boy, chuckled. i kept my hair in front of my face, already knowing i have a black eye.

“lil maybank, what you doin’ here?” his voice rang out. i shrug my shoulders, “oh you know...”

he smirked, “oh i do know.” i glare at him, “just like yo’ daddy.”

i ignore the other gaze i get from rafe, rolling my eyes. “shut up barry, you don’t like when i speak up. remember?”

barry eyes shoot daggers into mine, but he fell short. his gaze softens at my appearance but neverless; he turned the other way; making me mentally thank him.

“how much?”

i pull out $50, “fuck with me for $50.” barry scales up the white powder. the one i desperately missed the most. he hands me the baggie, “here, you wanna try a bump first. make sure you like it?”

i knew he was only being nice because he felt bad. we used to be really cool with each other a few years ago, but after one night everything changed.

i sit down beside rafe, still not even acknowledging he’s here. barry looked between us, “you ain’t met country club?”

i nod, “yeah, he’s the one who got my brother sent to jail.” i spat, not even giving him a chance to speak up, before lifting the cut up straw, snorting the line laid out in front of me. i forgot how my nose was still bruised, it had a dull ache after that. then it began to feel numb.

barry bust out laughing, “no fuckin’ way, bro. you fucked up for that.”

i ignore him, hitting the second line with the other nostril. i love the feeling of both sides being numb. i sit back, wiping the tip of my nose, cautiously. rafe still sat quiet next to me, which started making me feel uneasy.

“i ugh- i gotta go, thanks b. i’ll catch ya’ around later.” i quickly grab my stuff, walking out the door. footsteps trailed behind me. already knowing who’s following.

“selene, wait!”

i continue walking until i’m pulled back. “wait a second, fuck.”

i look up at him, eyes furrowed with anger. “no, im not gonna fuckin’ wait! you wanna play all fucking nice guy to me and literally fuck my brother over, you fucked me over.”

“i-i it wasn-”

“fucking save the bullshit rafe, you jumped pope. jj took the blame because unlike you.” my finger pokes his chest. “he knew pope has a future ahead of him. he’s not a strung out, immature, pathetic little boy with daddy issues.”

rafes eyes glare down into mine, his body almost shaking. i quickly step back, the words process through my head. oh my god, i know im angry but fuck.

rafe chuckles, “it wasn’t me. it was topper, but yeah i did beat up pope. you may say he has a future, but pogues dont have futures, selene.”

he steps closer, as i gulp frozen in place.

“you have no future, your just like your daddy. didn’t think i heard the rumors. no wonder you are a fucking attention seeker, because you, selene, have daddy issues.” he spat. “i mean fuck- look at you! like literally look at you right now.”

i felt my eyes began to water, going to make a remark but he cut me off again.

“your fucking pathetic.”

"fuck you.” i slap him clear across his cheek. not even caring if he’d try anything back, i storm off in the other direction. fuck, what the fuck just happened?

—

i walk down the road, it was dark; street lamps giving the only source of light. i sniffle, tears fell down my cheeks as i hear his voice replay in my head.

i follow the trail off to my old spot, once in view i sit down on the park bench. i take my phone case off, setting it down on my lap. i get everything crushed and lined up before snorting a few lines.

i put everything back up before heading back towards the road, john b’s couch calling my name. i rub my nose, making sure no evidence could be left. i pull out my phone checking my appearance.

god the sight made me wanna throw up, my nose and eyes were bruised. my eyes swollen, red. i really need to get my shit together.

i continue down the road before a engine rumbles down the road. i swear to fucking god, if this is rafe tryna pull the same shit.

my eyes squinted as i try to look at the vehicle. that’s not rafe’s truck. i fumble with my bag, the knife grasped firmly in my hand. i continue straight, not daring to look back.

i could hear the truck come up behind me. they start to slow near me, “selene maybank?”

my eyes flicker up to the vehicle, a truck with two men. “mannnnn... is it good to see you!”

i start walking quicker, not even bothering to answer. i need to get the fuck out of here. the truck doors slam shut, footsteps pick up.

“hey! i was fuckin’ talkin’ to ya!” the mans voiced called out. i took off into sprint, the grip of my knife turning my knuckles white.

i’m in full go mode as I pull my phone out. dialing the first number i saw, continuing down the pavement.

“selene?” rafe’s voice rang out. fuck i didn’t know it would be him.

my breathing is uneven as i try to speak, “please help, im near the place- from last time- two me-.” i stumble over the cracked pavement.

My knees were cut up ,but I luckily caught myself with my hands. I ignore the pain, focusing on my surroundings.

i turn back seeing the men hot on my tail, i rush up, swooping to grab my phone. i hit my knee hard as fuck; its slowing me down. i wince, trying to keep on moving.

“selene!?” i hear from my hand. i bring the phone back up to my ear, “please hurry. im sca- agh!” hands lift me up from the ground. everything was dropped, i left my knife. my phone was on the ground.

a sob escaped my lips as i felt my body hit the ground hard. “god damnit girl.”

i sit up quickly, ignoring the pain radiating down my back. i hold my hands up in defense. “plea-please, i don’t know you! wha-what do you want?” i hiccup.

the taller man that i assumed yeeted me to the floor, laughed. “your daddy owes us a lot of money.”

somehow through all of this i manage to roll my eyes, “get in line, he owes everyone.” i scan my surroundings, i’m not under light. we are in a dark area. somewhere hard to see me in need of help.

“baby girl.” he leaned down to my level his hand on my knee, i kick him away. his hand reached around grabbing my hair, a squeak left my lips.

“since, i don’t have any money. i need some’ else.” i literally thought i could throw up right now. why in the fuck am i put in this situation, my dad’s such a fuck up. i might be raped, kidnapped, killed.

“plea-please don’t.” i whimper and the other guy laughs. “i fuckin’ love when they beg.”

i began to kick and scream, but the guy closest covered my mouth trying to drown my desperation out. i bit his hand, making him back hand me. my left ear rang, not even noticing that the guy farthest from us fell.

“get the fuck off ‘er.” the body was thrown off me. i laid there shaking, hands found my arms; my body instinctively reacting, pushing and pulling.

“he-hey. no, no-no selene. you’re good. it’s me, it’s me.“ my eyes found rafe’s and i began bawling.

“shhh. it’s okay, i got you.” after that last word i push him away.

“no yo-you dont. you don’t ‘got me’.” i glare at him through my tears. “im fucking pathetic to you, just like my daddy right?” my emotions were so high right now i started laughing.

“bro..” barry’s voice rings through my ears. “hope your fucking happy. since my daddy almost got me killed.” i stumbled up on my feet.

“selene, i’m sorry. look let me take you home.” he sighed out, he was desperate to help you at this point. i gave him a pointed look,“i didn’t mean to call you- i just. i clicked the first number. thank you.”

with that i turned and walked off, i don’t know what the fuck is going on with me, with this. i just almost gotten raped. or worse kidnapped and killed. rafe just saved me.

rafe called me fucking pathetic.

rafe saved me.

everything was on repeat, my heart felt like it was going to explode. i couldn’t even hear the fact of anyone following me.

“selene.” his voice called out softly, bringing me out my thoughts. “you want to be left alone? fine. but after all this shit tonight, there is no way in hell. im letting you walk back to wherever, by yourself.”

i turned around staring at him. “i have no where to go.” my eyes filled with tears. “i have no one. you’re right, i am fucking pathetic.”

his eyes soften, “ i fucked up, i should’ve never said that about you.” he stepped forward making me step back. I shake my head, everything was too much.

I felt dizzy, really dizzy. The world span from under me and I felt myself go limp.

#rafe cameron imagine #rafe x y/n #obx rafe #rafe cameron #outerbanks rafe #rafe cameron x reader #obx imagine #outer banks fic #outer banks imagine #outer banks #rafe fluff #jj maybank x reader #john b imagine #sarah cameron #barry outer banks

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conspiraships · 6 years

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🌹 SRY I CANT THINK OF A F/O

🌹 - Beauty and the Beast AU

was originally gonna write Gale/Andy but then i remembered stupit bitch Krycek exists and that’s what’s gonna happen. ill write Gale/Andy l8r … but for now… Mercy/Krycek … this is rlly long … oopsie (4,962 words)

“there’s a monster in the woods, Alex” his mother used to say. “it lurks, waiting for disobedient little boys who won’t go to bed on time”

“like, it’s just sitting in the woods, waiting?”

“oh for fucks sake, Alex. just go to bed please. im begging you.”

“i want milk”

“fine”

of course no one believes the stories about the monster in the woods. it’s just because their town is surrounded by thick, tight woods with very few paths in and out of it. but there’s nothing but wolves, moose, wild animals living there. it’s dark, deep, unwelcoming, but there’s no monsters.

and even when his mother went missing when he was 13, Alexei Krycek refused to believe it was anything like a monster. her horse went missing too, and he knew for a fact that it meant the wolves got them. (that didn’t ease the hurt. his mother was gone, and he was only 13. he didn’t know how to live without her at 13. but it wasnt a monster in the woods who took her from him.)

he still doesnt believe in monsters even when the Man Who Smokes Too Much takes him in, and the Man Who Smokes Too Much’s eldest son is absolutely CONVINCED that there ARE monsters in the woods who WILL come for everyone in the town unless they’re all very kind to nature.

Alex finds a reprieve in Jeffrey, the youngest Spender son. they grow close, and when the Man Who Smokes Too Much dies, Jeffrey and Alex are the ones who start to find work while Fox spends his time buried in books, studying, and reading about the mind and mythical

“Jeffrey you can’t go now,” Fox says one day. they’re all well into their twenties and Fox can’t hold a job he likes because everyone knows him as the boy with his nose in his books, the boy who used to leave out picnic baskets for the Monsters even though there was a food shortage.

“Fox.” Jeffrey and Alex say it in the same tone and Fox grins at them both but he sobers up when Jeffrey keeps packing. “i have to go,” Jeffrey says. “if i dont, we could lose the house. and out of all of us, Fox, you need this house the most”

“Jeffrey … there have been several cases of missing persons between us and-”

“if they arent traveling right, they are going to attract wolves,” Alex says. “we learned that from your father.”

“i’m still pretty sure the monster in the woods took him,” Fox says disdainfully

“grow up,” says Jeffrey. “you want me to bring back anything specific from the city?”

“actually,” Fox says before Alex can say anything, “remember those roses he brought us…”

“the day your mother died?” Jeffrey and Fox exchange a sad smile and Alex is reminded that he doesnt fit in with them. hes not part of them. he’s not a Spender or a Mulder. he’s a Krycek. his father never smoked more than enough for three people and his mother used to tell him fairy tales that would make Fox explode with happiness.

Jeffrey leaves, and Fox goes back to psychoanalyzing everyone in the town and keeping up with as many detective cases as he can. Alex works.

Alex works, and works, and works until Jeffrey doesn’t come home. it’s not the monster, he tells himself as he packs up supplies to go search for Jeffrey (or, more realistically, his body and his horse probably half eaten by wolves). the monster was a bedtime story for everyone in the town. (Fox disagreed, and gave him a spray bottle of something that smelled of lemon and onions to ‘keep the monster away’)

Alex takes his horse to go look for Jeffrey. halfway between Foxhunt and the city, he finds Jeffrey’s horse with her reins snagged on a tree. she makes a break for it as soon as Alex sets her free, but he has hope. maybe Jeffrey is alive after all. he follows a small broken path next to the tree he found Jeffrey’s horse trapped on, but the deeper into the woods he goes, the darker and colder it gets.

wolves howl. but he knows its wolves, and not monsters.

“God dammit Fox,” Alex snarls, directing his horse down the path, toward the wolf howls.

when he breaks into a clearing, his lips are blue. but in the clearing is… not a house, but a mansion. it’s not even close to being a castle, but it’s too large to be a simple house. no lights are on but the door is open. if anything, it’s a place to warm up if it’s abandoned

(it’s not. and Alex hates himself for a while after he walks in there. he finds Jeffrey, gets him out, but gets knocked out before he can join Jeffrey. he hates himself when he wakes up in a room lushly decorated. silk curtains, a thick plush carpet, soft cotton sheets and an ornate comforter. he hates himself for enjoying the rest for once, not having to share a room with Jeffrey, sleeping on a twin bed that’s too old and uncomfortable. he hates himself)

Mercy is irritated.

not one, but two people have invaded their home in the last 48 hours. they let the first one, Jeffrey, go. but Alex? he actually came into their house. he didn’t rob their garden, that they can forgive. they’re roses. their mother loved roses, and their mother probably would have forgiven someone for taking her roses after a few days. but Alex… Alexei… he walked into their home without permission. they don’t like that very much at all.

“you should really let him go…”

“Monica,” Mercy warns.

“it’s going a bit far,” says Monica. “maybe just… i dont know, make him pay you or something? but locking him up?”

“i gave him Mom’s room. the door doesn’t lock, so he’s not exactly a prisoner.”

“if he feels like one, it’s the same thing,” John points out.

“I hate both of you please get the fuck out of my living room.”

they don’t raise their voice, but the cutting glare they send them and the way they bare their teeth, fangs glinting in the firelight, send John and Monica from the room. Mercy pretends they can’t hear their whispering and heads upstairs to deal with their… Guest

he screams when they walk in, and Mercy can’t help but look over themself. they hven’t looked in a mirror in years (Monica covered them up long ago) but Monica brushes their hair. and their fur. and makes them take baths regularly. but they are wearing some of John’s clothing. maybe that’s what’s alarming.

“what the FUCK are you?!” Alex shouts, putting the bed between the two of them.

wow. wow. just wow. so Mercy grins, baring their teeth. their fangs, prominent and long, make Alex recoil. “I’m the Monster in the Woods,” they say with a dangerous growl. “and you have trespassed onto my property.”

(they hate themself for taking pride in the fear and disbelief that seem to cross his face. he recoils further, and he can’t look at them for days. he doesn’t leave their mother’s room, and John tells them that he eats only the bread and drinks only the water they give him. they hate themself for loving the power they have over people. and they hate the disappointed look Monica gives them whenever they revel in frightening him)

“Monster.”

“I have a name, darling.”

“I’m leaving, Monster. and if I never come back, it would be too soon.”

“cute that you think you can escape me.”

(he doesn’t leave. they’re human enough that sometimes he’s not scared of them, but there are times where their fur stands on end and their hair swirls in the air around them and their eyes take on a terrifying yellow color and their fangs seem to grow, and Alex Krycek cannot move past them when that happens. and they always seem to stake out the door whenever he wants to leave)

(”Mercy,” Monica says in disappointment.

“he’s not free yet. he doesn’t know how violated he made me feel.”

“maybe you like having him around,” Monica offers, flinching when Mercy’s hair starts to swirl around them and their eyes turn yellow.

“why would i enjoy the presence of a human, Monica? why would i keep him around? let him stay? he is being punished.”

“your mother was a human.”

“and humans killed her. and now i am this.”

Monica can’t argue that.)

“Doggett,” begins Alex as John sets down a tray of food. “why do you stay here?”

John looks surprised, and sits on the bed beside Alex. “Eat,” he orders. “Mercy is…”

“Mercy?” Alex asks sharply.

“the Monster. Their name is Mercy. they are… lonely. we stay because we love them. and Monica and i know deep loneliness. when we found Mercy, they were halfway between human and beast, curled up in the rose garden. we were drawn off the trails by their sobs. they lost their mother when they were very young to hunters who mistook their foraging mother for some kind of animal.” Alex looks stricken, but John continues speaking. “Mercy … attacked him, as best we can figure. they didn’t kill them, but the hunters went back to their town with injuries.”

Alex dips his bread in his soup and asks, “why are they a monster now?”

“if you didn’t believe in monsters, Alex, i don’t know if you will believe they were cursed.” Alex snorts. “exactly. but one of the hunters had married a witch who cursed them. she cursed them to become the beast the hunters thought their mother was, and to be the beast they seemed to attack like.”

“a curse,” Alex repeats in disbelief.

John shrugs and stands from the bed. “believe it or not, but you cannot deny the face of the beast that keeps you from leaving, Krycek.”

“you have a rose garden.” it’s a statement, not a question, and Mercy laughs aloud, their eyes bright with amusement.

“do i?” they tease.

“i want to see it.”

“and i want my home to return to a private dwelling with no trespassers.” they return their gaze to her book. “we can’t have what we want, Krycek.” they’re not going to show the man who only calls them ‘monster’ and not their name their most sacred spot. he doesnt deserve it if he cant acknowledge them.

“show me the rose garden, Mercy.”

they stand behind him stiffly, and he notes that they don’t look at the roses. their gaze is firmly toward the sky. Alex could make a break for it, but the roses…

for a … monster who won’t look at the roses, they are tended to quite well.

“why is this bush missing roses?” he asks. a shudder runs through him at their disgusted scoff.

“perhaps you should have asked why i was being so cruel to Jeffrey.”

“actually,” Fox says before Alex can say anything, “remember those roses he brought us…”

“the day your mother died?” Jeffrey and Fox exchange a sad smile

“ah.”

Alex ran his fingers over the stems that were missing roses. was Fox’s mother worth this? his mother … Mercy’s mother… perhaps they both were, in their ways. if Alex’s mother had loved roses, he would understand the sacrifice Jeffrey was making for his brother.

“they’ll grow back.” Alex flinches at the sudden proximity of Mercy’s voice. to his credit, he doesnt hiss when one of the rose thorns snags his palm but he does grimace at the blood. “let me see.” his body tenses when Mercy’s … hand… definitely a hand, even though they are covered in fur like a wolf with claws to boot, comes up behind his to hold his fingers open.

“it’s a cut,” he says flatly.

“come inside. we’ll get it cleaned up and wrapped.”

“you will do that for me?”

“please. I’m not a monster.”

he may keep the cut open longer than strictly healthy. but Mercy’s hands that look so monstrous bandage him so gentle and their eyes glow yellow in concentration, their tongue sticking out of their not-quite-mouth-not-quite-muzzle in a way that Alex wouldn’t call… cute, but it’s cute.

they tell him stories of their childhood after re-wrapping his hand. they speak with a fond sadness that Alex knows all too well. he lost his mother when he was young as well, and he has something of a found family too.

Mercy tells him how their mother taught them about plants, for survival, for food, and just for knowing.they tell him how their mother took them into the forest to help her forage and how once they encountered an elk so tall they thought he was a monster at first, and how he stared at them with eyes too wise, knowing they wouldn’t hurt him.

he learns about the constellations from them. they tell him how their mother showed them the stars, and that night Mercy takes him to the roof of the mansion and shows him the stars the way their mother did.

they show him some of the techniques their mother had for woodworking and they build a small bird house together.

when Alex’s hand is healed and no longer needs bandaged, Alex tells them about his own mother. they snort derisively over his mother’s stories of the monster in the woods (but for different reasons), but Mercy is enthralled with his mother’s other stories. Alex tells them which herbs his mother favored in her cooking, and how much he misses that. he tells them how he used to brush her hair and how she would run her fingers through his and sing him to sleep.

they both remember their mothers with a fond sadness.

and Alex no longer fears them, because he knows she isn’t the monster in the woods.

“come with me.”

“excuse me?”

“did i stutter, Krycek?” Mercy demands. he tenses, ready for their fur to stand on end or their hair to swirl around them but it doesn’t. they just look… impatient. not mad, just impatient. Alex heaves a great sigh and climbs out of his bed. he wasn’t doing anything, but having them treat him like a dog can become grating.

“where are we going?” he asks when they lead him from the room. they don’t answer, but lead him through the mansion to a room he’d never been to before. (in all fairness he’d never been to many rooms in the mansion.)

“here” Mercy says with a smirk. they push open both of the double doors dramatically and Alex rolls his eyes, stepping into the room after them. “it’s … it was mine and my mother’s. she was an avid book collector. so… was i.”

Alex stills as he looks around the room. it’s not as massive as a public library or a rich prince’s personal library might be, but there are several floor-to-ceiling shelves stocked with books. crammed is a more accurate descriptor. its… amazing. Fox would be jealous, and thats all the motivation Alex needs to approach the nearest bookshelf.

“you can come here whenever you want. i…” Mercy hesitates when Alex looks away from the shelves and to them. “i understand that it’s quite boring here. i… would let you go but because it’s winter… i don’t want you getting hurt on the road.”

a sneer crosses Alex’s face. “its not like i have anything to get back on.”

Mercy’s fingers twitch and whatever openness they’d shown him vanished, a darkness settling in their eyes and a scowl spreading over their not-quite-muzzle. “John has been taking care of your horse in the stables. when the snow melts, i’ll have John and Monica pack you supplies and send you off.”

“…wait. what?” Alex tracks them as they walk over to a bookshelf and piles a few books in their arms.

“you can leave when the weather is better. John and Monica will take care of you.” they give Alex a cruel look. “you don’t have to deal with a monster anymore.”

they leave while Alex is still processing what they said

(when he asks after them, John and Monica can only shrug. not even they’ve seen the monster… Mercy. they’re eating. John tells Alex that they take the meals they leave for them, but they don’t leave their room as far as they can tell.)

Alex spends most of his time in the library. Mercy’s collection isn’t as big as the town’s library, but it’s incredibly diverse, and he’s only found about ten books that overlap with what he’s already read.

he’s so involved in studying psychology books that Fox would salivate over that he doesn’t realize the time or that he’s exhausted. but he wakes up with a pillow instead of a book under his head an a thick blanket wrapped around him, his books off to the side with clear bookmarks.

John and Monica swear up and down that they didn’t go into the library after Monica took his dishes from dinner away.

(Alex thinks the blanket might smell like Mercy, but he doesn’t know what smells like them and what just smells like the house.)

he sees them once before the snow melts, and it’s from the library window that looks out over part of the rose garden. some of the roses started dying, but Alex was no botanist, so he wouldn’t be able to offer to help Mercy even if they were speaking to him.

Mercy stood in knee high snow, no coat but seemingly unfazed by the cold. their head was bowed as they held a rose in their hands. the bush was completely empty except for the one Mercy stood over so reverently. Alex watched them until they moved away from the rose, leaving it swaying in the wind.

the day the snow melts, Alex pretends to be asleep all day. he listens as John and Monica discuss what else he’d need as they packed up his few belongings (mainly borrowed clothes from John he insisted he didn’t need anyway).

Mercy didn’t come through at all. the next day, it rained and Alex used it as an excuse not to go. he went out and brushed his horse but didn’t leave.

the third day after the snow melted, Jeffrey shows up with Fox in tow.

they pound on Mercy’s front door, but they don’t show their face. Jeffrey yells at Monica and John, and Fox asks an absurd amount of questions that his host’s family can’t keep up with.

“Jeffrey said there is a monster,” Fox says when he sees Alex. Alex clutches his pack tightly, the psychology book he’d stowed away pressing into his stomach.

“it was enormous,” Jeffrey agrees. “with fangs like a wolf’s… claws! not quite a muzzle but not a human nose either! covered head to toe in fur!”

Alex snorts. “it’s not like you, Jeffrey,” he says. “to buy into Fox’s shit.”

“it’s not shit,” Fox snaps.

“and you know i’m right,” Jeffrey spits. “i saw it when i left this place. you’ve been here all winter, and you’re telling me you haven’t seen it?”

John shifts, a scowl on his face. Monica’s expression is carefully blank but three months in their company taught Alex how to spot how Monica felt. and she is angry. (had she been so angry when Alex first met them? he didn’t know.)

“ive only seen these two.” Alex gestures to the humans next to him and raises a brow when Jeffrey opens his mouth to argue. “why would i lie about something like this? if there was a monster, i would have seen it by now. but i’ve only seen people.”

he misses the dubious looks John and Monica exchange, but doesn’t miss the looks Fox and Jeffrey exchange. any further pushing gets the same results from Alex. a willing silence, secretive and cold.

“he protected you”

“he still left.”

“but he didn’t let those men try to hurt you.”

“he still left.”

“Mercy.”

“he left! he’s gone and he’s not coming back. get out! get out get out get out get out get out!”

“Alex, come inside. you’ll catch cold.”

“that’s fine.”

“you’ve been out here since dinner. Fox and i are worried about you. you come out here every goddamn night, ever since we came back. Alex, what the hell is going on?”

Alex points at the sky and traces his finger along a particular path. “Corona Borealis,” he says.

“what the ever loving hell are you talking about, Krycek?”

“it’s a constellation, Spender. created when, after Dionysus fell in love with Ariadne, Ariadne threw her wedding crown into the sky. the jewels of the crown are said to be the stars of Corona Borealis.”

Jeffrey scowled at him. “you sound like Fox.”

“leave me alone, Jeffrey.”

mid spring, about a month after the snow melted, a caravan comes through, absolutely demolished. they claim to have been assaulted by a monster in the woods.

with an ‘I-Told-You-So’ expression on his face, Jeffrey uses this as an opportunity to prove that he was right and arranges a hunting party to find and kill this monster in the woods.

Alex can’t deny it when he sees the wagon destroyed and several people injured, one person even missing an arm. there is a monster in the woods, and he thinks he knows who it is.

(he’s unaware of Fox following him when he sneaks out that night, somehow oblivious to the second set of horse hoof beats an horse snuffling)

“Alex Krycek,” greets John when he opens the door to cease Alex’s pounding.

“where are they?” Alex demands. John sighs, but doesn’t try to play dumb.

“in the rose garden.”

Alex storms out of the mansion, still oblivious to Fox entering the clearing. he doesn’t see Fox and John speaking, too focused on finding Mercy. the monster.

he believes the caravan and her people when he sees Mercy watering their roses. the not-muzzle has elongated into a full and proper muzzle and their lower half has become wolf-like. an impossibly terrifying bipedal wolf-human beast, watering roses.

“why?” he spits at them.

they still, ears that have grown to a furry point twitching at his voice.

“the roses need watered,” they say, not looking at him.

“that’s not what i’m talking about and you know it!”

this time they do look at him. their eyes are still human. still brown. Alex can remember the kind concentration when they bandaged his hand. remembers the sadness when they spoke of their mother. the excitement sharing the stars and the earth with him.

“my darling,” they say, voice thick with some unidentifiable emotion but dripping sarcastic sweetness, “i have no idea what you’re talking about.”

suddenly, words threaten to spill out that Alex bites back like bile. ‘why can’t i forget what you smell like? why can’t i forget how your hands felt around mine? why can’t i forget how warm it was to sit next to you? or how your eyes lit up when you looked at the stars? why can’t i forget the sweet sound of your voice? or how you sound when you sing? why can’t i forget how i hurt you that day in the library? why can’t i forget you?’

Mercy stops watering and cocks a hand on their hip.

“Krycek,” they snap.

“Why did you attack all of those people?” he shouts suddenly, unbidden. a bird shrieks and takes flight from one of the bushes. Mercy’s eyes widen and he watches them flicker as they take in his question.

then they laugh. throws their head back and laughs until it becomes a series of barks and they’re hunched in half to catch their breath.

“i’ve attacked people before,” they say when they can breathe again. “but that was years ago. when i found the men who killed my mother. i haven’t harmed anyone since.”

not physically, Alex wants to yell, his heart aching an racing in his chest. “a caravan came through this forest. they were utterly demolished. explain that, monster.”

their eyes harden and turn yellow as they stare at him. their hair begins to swirl around them. their lips curl and their fangs are bared.

“i have never harmed an innocent person,” Mercy, the Monster in the Woods, snarls at him. their watering can falls from their grip and they advance on Alexei Krycek who seems frozen in place. “i have harmed, my dearest Krycek, but only once, and for revenge. for my mother.” they stop mere inches from him and lean in, arms holding him still. “how dare you accuse me of this heinous act, when you know what i’ve been through. who do you think you are? get the fuck off of my property and never come back.”

he’s released with a shove, only saved from falling when Fox catches him. Fox…

“they’re beautiful,” Fox whispers to him as he helps Alex stand. Mercy’s ears twitch but they don’t look back at them, instead picking up their watering can and resuming the watering process. “is she telling the truth?”

Alex Krycek swallows. “yes,” he says, barely audible.

Fox releases him and steps forward. “what’s your name?” he asks Mercy. they snort.

“they call me the Monster.” their voice drips with bitter hatred, and Alex flinches.

“but you must have a name?” Fox presses. they don’t answer. “Alex believes you. but that means someone or something else in this forest attacked that caravan. and until we can figure out who it was… everyone will think it was you.”

“only three people outside of my home know i exist,” Mercy snips.

“And Jeffrey Spender is leading a hunting party to put you down.”

both Fox and Alex flinch when the watering can handle shatters in Mercy’s grip.

“when?”

“before sunset,” Alex supplies.

Mercy flies into a frenzy. they rush to the mansion and starts packing up everything. Alex, Fox, John, an Monica trail behind them as they tear through the mansion. the last thing they do before they speak to them is seal the library.

“take John and Monica far from here,” Mercy says to Fox, handing John and Monica the two bags they’d been packing.

“what?!” exclaims Monica, dropping the bag to grasp Mercy’s arm. they don’t look away from Fox, and Alex has to clamp down on the envy he feels.

“do you understand me?” they snarl. “get them to safety.” only when Fox nods do they look away. with gentle hands, Mercy puts the bag back in Monica’s hand. “go with them.”

“no!” protests Monica.

“please,” Mercy whispers. “please go with them. you can’t be caught in this. i can’t let you die. Monica… please go.”

“and leave you to die on your own?” demands John.

Mercy bares their teeth in what Alex thinks is supposed to be a grin. “A fitting death for a violent monster.”

they’re alone. the sun is low in the sky, nearly set, and Mercy is alone. if Jeffrey is going to kill them, this is how it should be. they find themself in the rose garden, standing before the bush with only one rose.

“i’ll see you soon, Mother,” they say to the rose, dropping to their knees before the bush. they bow their head.

John and Monica have each other. they’ll be alright without them. they might be in pain, but they’ll make it through.

Mercy once thought that when they died, no one would be left alive to mourn them. and only six months ago they were sure that John and Monica would be the only ones to mourn them. and a day ago they thought Alex hated them. four hours ago they thought he hated them. and now they know they’re leaving behind three people to mourn them.

“i’m so sorry,” they say, digging their claws into the dirt. they squeeze their eyes shut and tears leak out into their fur. they don’t move when they hear hoof beats. they won’t give the hunting party the satisfaction of killing a beast. they’ll have to kill Mercy as Mercy pays respects to their mother and mourns for those in their life.

he can’t be too late. please don’t be too late. please please please please please.

his heartbeat pounds in his ears an his legs are trembling with how tightly he’s squeezing his horse. his knuckles are bleached white and his fingers are cold as he grips the reins.

he can’t be too late. he can’t be too late.

he’ll never forgive himself if he’s too late to keep Jeffrey away from them. he’ll never forgive himself if he’s too late to tell them. to save them. to be near them one more time, even if they can’t forgive him for the things he’s said.

his horse bursts into the clearing of Mercy’s home but Alex doesn’t slow to a walk. they sprint across the yard, alert for any other sounds. he hears nothing and his horse whips around the side of the house. Alex pulls the reins and jumps down before he even comes to a full stop.

“mercy?” he gasps out, stumbling into the garden.

“why are you here?”

he faces them sharply.

“well?” Mercy bites, glaring up at him from their place on the ground.

Alex stares at them for a few long, silent moments.

“i will not leave you alone. i will not let you die for a crime you did not commit.” he drops to his knees beside them and presses his forehead against their shoulder. “i won’t let you be alone.”

Mercy’s tense, he can feel it. their words come out even more tense than he’d imagined. “monsters deserve to be alone.”

“then,” Alex Krycek says to Mercy, the monster in the woods, the creature, the person he loves, “it’s a good thing you’re not a monster.”

#selfship #self ship #selfshipping #self shipping #self insert #ask #bytundering #stardust.txt #otp: i hate you darling #writing tag #WOW

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