#tomorrows the funeral and not only that but like

[writing-is-a-martial-art]

Going to be branching out into more uquiz poems after the labyrinth (shameless plug moment), and I'm thinking of a pretty big project where as a result of a quiz you get a piece of creative writing structured as rules/instructions for something (I coincidentally already have rules for dancing with the devil and rules for attending your own funeral)

So, time to run some polls!

I might end up writing out all or none or some of these regardless, but the poll results will definitely have some influence on the choice.

#oleg's writing rambles

[ectonurites]

tomorrow is gonna suck so bad

#tomorrows the funeral and not only that but like #its a very real possibility my dad could show up to the wake . because he was friends with my uncle before he even met my mom #and its like. no i do not want to see him again under any circumstances but also he has a right to grieve his friend too #just. tomorrow is gonna be so hard #for so many reasons #grandpa max is god? i go to church now

[bruhstation]

man who enjoys every single second he's dedicated to hating to the point it pisses everyone except him off

#thomas the tank engine #thomas and friends #ttte hiro #ttte spencer #ttte gordon #casa tidmouth #senjart #as put by edwards-exploit: #''hater spencer is so funny he tried to kill hiro and for what. ofc dead family jokes is on the table for him'' #hes literally in that grindset. hating everyone while still maintaining his status as the specialest most priveleged guy on sodor #it's a living to him #bringing back the headcanon that spencer attends his cousins' funerals only to gorge himself with the food there. truly a genius. #I love him so much. he should get worse because it's so entertaining. how did he end up like this #thinking about the hero of the rails arc of casa tidmouth and grimaced #okay last art post before I post the 1000 milestone poll tomorrow. TRUST

[rainymoodlet]

kiss me in komorebi's info page is now complete! 🌸

this page includes all of my gameplay rules, the base rules of the challenge, my entire filming schedule, and a "brief" summary of daniel's history along with some fun facts about him! feel free to check out his full biography and more facts here! 🌸

— more posts coming soon! 🌸 thank you all for watching!

#txt #;kmik extras #i will be getting to my askbox and actually spreading some of the love given to me tomorrow dflkdf #i went to a funeral the other day (my fiance's grandfather) and it was soooo draining #being a nonreligious person in the south is just... #like why are we talking about everyone but the man we're here for #my drug test is monday and i've only just started getting negatives so fingers fcking croooossed #i love you all!! here's a cookie fresh from mama's kitchen 🍪🍪🍪

[thedeadthree]

🌿 YELENA VORONIN (fo3) in the commonwealth, thrilled to at last have all her friends in one place to have the holiday party she’s always wanted!!!!!

🚄 MIKA MINEGISHI (bullet train) thrilled now that the man who stole her birthright has bit the dust.. now she’s spending all of his money! good for her!

🕰 EDELGARD VANDERWEYDEN (fernweh saga) visiting her family in germany for the holidays with reese! and still very adamant she is not head over heels. <3

🧥 ISIDORA VARGAS née dalí (call of duty) can’t stand holiday parties but her and alejandro invited the besties and her and her spouse have a contest for who’s the better gift giver and she will win.

TAGGED BY the darlings @risingsh0t, @jacobseed, @chuckhansen, @echo3-1, @shellibisshe, @leviiackrman and @jendoe to do the dears in this cutest meiker! ty ty! <3

TAGGING: @feystepped, @griffin-wood, @kingsroad, @aartyom, @unholymilf, @denerims, @arklay, @morvaris, @queennymeria, @adelaidedrubman, @marivenah, @florbelles, @phillipsgraves, @confidentandgood, @leondaltons, @thee-morrigan, @yennas, @jackiesarch, @veisshaupt and you!

#only if you want to! 🤍🕊 #oc: yelena voronin #oc: mika minegishi #oc: isidora khalida dali #there she is! introducing bullet train dearie! she needs a cute operator name (I’m open to suggestions skjzjxh) but! she! #im a bit tardy so please feel free to pass if you’ve done this already!!!! ✨🤧🌿☺️ #TOMORROW IS EDDIES BIRTHDAY HAPPY EARLY DAY M’DEAR 🤍🤍😖 so i had to include her in honor of that! #u deserve all of the cute danish pastries eddie m’love ✨😖 #its like a whole contest every year between isi and ale sjjzhzh and she will! win! #its also likely the first holiday as well with the gang that she can bring ale to so the stakes are HIGH kssjhx #she thinks holiday parties are pretentious aksjxhxh queenie! #i will have the asoiaf babies in the next one i have 🤍😖🕯 featured the non fantasy babies for this onee!! #YOU STILL HAVENT FOOLED NOT A SOUL MY LOVE Kajzhxhx i mean the nonstop heart eyes at the funeral??? REMEMBER THAT EDDIE? ✨🤡🤍🥴 my baby! #mika THRIVING knowing that her plan worked (though not like she hoped she was looking to zero him herself but! it’s fine!) #and u know what! good for her! as she should! 🤍🤍☺️ #i have a couple people in mind to set up with her hehe <3 (we can already assume one from the 🍊 aesthetics she has <3) #YELENAA babieeee! i miss her so much! her and the d*ragon a*ge dears ✨😖 #this could also be so cute for no wasteland!yelena as well? a doctor helping people just like her dad in her canon and au 🤍🤍🥹🌿 YOU ANGEL YOU #leg.tagged #leg.ocs #t: picrews #OH THIS WAS SO CUUTE AHH ✨🥺 ty ty! totally not considering returning to this with like a modern au for the asoiaf babies u know? ✨👀🤍🥹 #IM MOVING AT A SNAILS PACE CATCHING UP BUT AHH GRATEFUL FOR ALL OF U ✨🤧

[pierregaslays]

i miss my mum

#it doesn’t even seem real like no matter how many times i tell myself she isn’t coming home i still think she’s gonna call #i still think she’s gonna tell us the hospital are letting her out #and then i remember that’s never going to happen and oh boy do i want 2 die #and tomorrow i have to be the bravest girl ever and go and tell the funeral director what she wanted for her funeral bc i’m the only one who #knows #and then i think well why did she only tell me #anyway i miss you mum idk how i made it through the last two weeks but forever to go ig #tw grief

[flufflecat]

Really not feelin it this week. Tag rant incoming

#it's just been a slew of horrible things this week and idk how to handle any of it #we had to take my childhood cat to the vet on Monday bc she's very sick and very skinny #and we thought we'd have to put her down #I'm so thankful bc she still has a bit of time and really all I want is for her to be comfortable again before she dies #but shes in such bad shape #and I hate seeing her like that. I found her when she was just a few weeks old #and now she's 15 and she just got old out of nowhere #and I'm not gonna be able to see her anymore soon #I'm going to a funeral Saturday for one of my aunts #I wasn't close to her since I was a kid but my family more or less abandoned her #and now she's dead and I never went to see her when she was alone #and today my other aunt died. and I was close to her. #I haven't seen her in years either though bc of more family drama. #and I never visited her either. idek if she was alone or if she had people. #I should have visited her when we found out she was sick but I just didn't #idk what to do. it's all just piling up #I feel worse rn than I have in years #and more bad things just keep happening #I was excited this week bc I got some work done on my college application #but now my motivation is just gone #I just wanna sleep and wake up and find out that my aunt is actually alive and someone just got it wrong somehow #but I can't fall asleep and that won't happen so waking up won't even be worth that #I would call off work tomorrow but I don't wanna be alone and my coworkers are the only people I know in town #at least they're all nice people #this all sucks so fucking bad #personal #negative

[da-proti-toku-grem]

feeling like a total asshole today 👍

#an aunt's mom passed away yesterday night #i didn't really know her that much just spoke to her a few times for the typical merry christmas & happy new year you know #so when my mom told me i felt bad for my aunt bc i knew they were really close but i don't feel SAD #but my parents seemed to be like so shocked and sad and my little brother even started crying #and i felt absolutely nothing #idek what my mom saw in my face but she went like 'don't you feel anything?' and like wtf am i supposed to feel #like. i'm sorry for my aunt and everything but i just????? #that already made me feel like an absolute asshole but now we have to go there (like 2hours away by car) #and because i am an adult now i *have* to go to the funeral home (?) today and to the funeral tomorrow #and i REALLY don't want to and thought it's making me so fucking anxious bc i haven't been there since my grandma passed away 2 years ago #i really don't want that feeling that i felt back then to come back #not right now #not when i've been starting to feel a bit better this past week #but i'm already failing at that because they started to come back the moment i was told i have to go #and i feel like a fucking asshole because my aunt's mom literally passed away and she (and her whole family) must be heartbroken right now #and all i can think about is that i'm anxious #i'm anxious to go back there. i'm anxious just thinking that i'll have to express my condolences to people that i don't even know #i'm anxious because i'll have to TALK to people and at least try to look a bit SAD but i can't just fake it #bc if i don't look sad my brain tells me that i'm an asshole that doesn't have feelings like apparently everyone around me has #but if i fake it my brain tells me that i'm an asshole bc why tf do i have to fake my fucking personality #why can't i just express my fucking feelings like normal people do and the only thing that i know how to do is fucking complain #like. i know i rant a lot here but it's literally the only place where i talk about my feelings #i NEVER talk about my feelings with anyone because idk HOW to do it #i have like a million things in my mind that i want to tell my mom or my therapy for example but when i finally convince myself to do it #i just CAN'T. the thoughts won't leave my mouth because i don't know how to phrase them properly #so nothing ever leaves my mind unless i make a post here bc apparently writing my thoughts in english (my 2nd language) #is easier than talking in spanish #and at least if i write them here they don't just stay bottled up in my mind #but i'm too tired of myself and my stupid brain that tells me that i do everything wrong :/ #i'm gonna shut up now bc i once again reached the tag limit

[lesbianlotties]

a power outage kept me from liveblogging my rewatch of eps 5 & 6 but i took notes and i'm about to be soooo annoying tomorrow <3

#i think i've never posted so much in a single week omg #do u guys still like me #it's 7 & 8 tomorrow and then recovering on thursday to watch the finale #my funeral on saturday <3 #ONLY my funeral. bc none of the yj ladies are dying okay?! okay

[ljussangen]

I need to add the last few months of pictures I took to my queue but I am so tired. I am constantly sleeping. Lol.

#I have to go to a funeral tomorrow but I don't know how I will stay awake lol #i'm going to be so hungry and so tired #but if I do sleep I only sleep like 1-1.5 hrs and then wake up...

[hella1975]

forever wishing sam fender would unrelease dead boys

#it’s like the moment I get a glimmer of hope for my hometown it reminds me of how awful it is #I feel like I’m screaming underwater at people like there’s something actually insidious about that town #and I’ve BEEN saying it and it keeps getting written off as youthful angst #bc of COURSE you hate your hometown! everyone hates their hometown! #but now I’m going to another funeral for a boy in my year and it’s another suicide and I don’t even know him #i havent seen him since primary school I have no right to be so upset by this #but I’m just trawling his ig bc he looks the same #he looks the exact same and he hung himself. he was twenty #and ofc he’s connected to my family bc everyone is in that fucking town hes like a v distant cousin #so we know the news first like so many of his friends are out having a nice night rn #and I’m here with this knowledge despite not knowing him. like tomorrow someone is going to find out their best mate killed himself #the police are literally still at his house and my mum is telling me she loves me because it’s ALWAYS the boys in my year group #like off the top of my head alone bc i KNOW it’s more ive already lost six boys in my year and I’m 20 #how many kids have to die before my hometown stops being such a shithole #sorry for the vent post i dont even know why this has gutted me so much #maybe bc the only memory i have of this boy is between the ages of 5-11 so I literally ONLY know him as a child #like he was so happy I can only remember him smiling and just. what went so wrong after that? he had spiky hair and gap teeth #and now I’ve been told that he hung himself and I just #god. i don’t even know anymore #I’ll never forgive that town #hella goes home

[chewablepebbles]

I've literally been going to at least one funeral of someone close to me every year since 2016 this is unsustainable! Do I make friends so quickly because I fear they'll leave so soon? I have like five hundred pounds of stuff from people that died and I can't get rid of it because I can't get new stuff with them. I'm so tired of being used to grief. When do I get to grieve for myself!

#i feel like im still waiting to bury the old body i had but the holes i dig keep getting filled with other people #can i not have a year without mourning #or at least a year where the only one i mourn is myself? #ive had to stop taking time off for it because id never get back #the funeral is saturday and im literally leaving a party before it and going back afterwards #im so tired! #its been a year since i finished therapy and it feels like forever and yesterday #who knew this was going to keep happening! #i cant go back because my therapist left when i did #im not even sure that its therapy i need and not just the ear of someone who isnt in grief #every year theres some horrific thing that only ever happens to other people but its my other people #and i leave and i cook and clean and get bloodstains out of the bag of clothing the hospital sends back #god i guess this is where all these weeks went. into here. #this sucks #the only thing i was able to make was a painting of the vulture that i brought in to the clinic #and im supposed to be doing an oil portrait for the funeral #i already gave them my easels and frames to display the pictures #tomorrow im spending all day making his favorite cookies before i leave for the party friday #im so sick of being the one to handle it #all of ny grieving is on a two month delay so everyone else has someone they can rely on #its not fair #im not supposed to lose this many people already

[perfectlullabies]

god hates me

#i woke up feeling so sick i feel like i'm abt to throw up so i can't make any sudden movements #i definitely had too much going on in the last 10 days. i'm exhausted #three months at home only going out to run funeral errands + cemetery and suddenly i'm back at uni #hanging out with people all days talking w everyone #having therapy sessions #cars breaking down #job starting in two days #going to the hospital to work with ill patients tomorrow and on tuesday i think i'm gonna puke for real. #too much too much i didn't think it would be #but it is #i always overestimate my condition and energy levels #i just fool myself everyday #god i am so stupid #and then my body just gives up on me like this and ??

[raideo]

STONE OCEAN STONE OCEAN STONE OCEAN

ALL STAR BATTLE ALL STAR BATTLE ALL STAR BATTLE

#THESE TWO THINGS ARE LIKE KEEPING ME THE FUCK ALIVE THIS WEEK #GOT OVER HORRIFIC FOOD POISONING LAST WEEK JUST IN TIME TO HAVE TO VOLUNTEER FOR AN ENTIRE DAY #THEN FOUND OUT THE MORNING OF MY VOLUNTEER WORK THAT MY GRANDPA DIED #AND WE ARE TOO SHORT STAFFED AT WORK FOR ME TO ASK FOR TIME OFF TO GO TO THE FUNERAL #DURING MY FUCKING SHIFT TOMORROW #AND IVE BEEN ABSOLUTELY FUCKED UP ABOUT IT #THIS IS LIKE THE ONLY SHIT IM STAYING ALIVE FOR IT MIGHT SOUND STUPID BUT THANK YOU JOJOS #AND IF ANYONE IS READING THIS YES MY WORK SITUATION IS KINDOF FUCKED UP RN

[paleode-ology]

god I need school to be over I hate it here literally growing so concerned for my health

#ode by ode #gonna tag vent bc idk exactly what tw applies here #but uh heads up for like eating and body issues #anyway I’ve been so stressed that I’ve lost nearly all my appetite #so for the last few months I’ve been eating way less than I need to #and I’ve definitely lost weight and I can start feeling it in my body #like I’m getting colder faster #and my muscles hurt #and it’s so fucking scary but like idk what I can do besides try to power through the next two weeks #bc it’s been entirely brought on by school #and we’re almost done #but god I hate this so much #screaming for reallllllll #like I’m not so concerned about it long term #but it’s freaking me out and like I just want to leave right now #but I only have a week left and I need a transcript from this term if I want any hope of #either continuing at this school or transferring somewhere halfway decent if I decide to leave instead #but god it’s scaring me a lot I hate feeling like this #literally went to a funeral in the spring for an old classmate of mine who died from an eating disorder #and that’s not what this is but we’re approaching a similar result and I just need to get out and go home oh my GOD #anyway 😗✌️ #maybe I will call my mom tomorrow idk

[wallflowerglitter]

Oh man I do not even know what to say at this point.

#just got off the phone with my dad and I am mad and sad and frustrated #my mom is not off work yet so I can’t rant to her #I just don’t understand I mean I KNOW it’s my dad but I SPECIFICALLY told him to find this information out and he only told me now the day #before because I CALLED HIM #again I know it’s MY dad but I ask him for so fucking little and I just need him to be my dad and tell me important things like my grandma #is sick that my grandma is having surgery that my grandma is in a nursing home that my grandma is actively dying when the funeral is #and now that the ground has thawed apparently they are burying her ashes tomorrow and he didn’t fucking tell me #despite the fact that I specifically requested he find out months ago #also he wasn’t planning on going #i’m so fucking tired #sorry if you read that #Ik it’s a lot #i just want to scream #rn so