#tumblr stop destroying the image quality I’m tired | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

myjunkisyuzuruhanyu · 4 years

Photo

[ICE JEWELS VOL. 12 SPECIAL INTERVIEW - YUZURU HANYU

Translation by Juro (juroscorner.blogspot.com)

Please click on the link in the reblog to read the full interview (I put left out parts in brackets [...]) and the Yuzuru related part from Satomi Ito’s interview about her costumes! (Tumblr is acting up with a direct link in the post)

Towards a “me” who surpasses myself

The World Championship (“WC”) was cancelled, drawing the 2019-20 season to a sudden conclusion. This season, he won a title that he hasn't conquered before. The victory at 4 Continents Championship (“4CC”) established Hanyu Yuzuru’s Super Slam as he entered glorious records and memories. His reflection on this season and resolution towards the upcoming season is told as follows.

On the victory at the 4CC

Do you think of the victory at 4CC as a special memory? - I really did win that competition, so I was happy. The last titles to obtain would probably be World Champion or Olympic Champion, but in this season, so far I’ve fulfilled tasks like winning competitions (which I haven’t won until then) like Skate Canada. Rather than any competition, this very one (4CC), is where I competed and won a silver medal at 16, but from then on, I couldn’t win it for a while. It’s good that I can finally win it. We heard that after Japan National, there was a period when you couldn’t get back on your feet. How did you spend that period? Was there any specific feeling? Then, how did you recover? Please let us know some details. - I went through 3 consecutive competitions. (After JN), for I while I thought that Ahh, I’m quite tired out. I’ve been living placing pressure on myself and there was no time to recharge both my physical strength and emotion, so I let myself do whatever I felt like doing. I didn’t really pay attention to anything, so I don’t remember (what I did) clearly…

Just for now, “SEIMEI” and “Ballade no. 1”

[....about change of programs...]

You gave us a brilliant performance of “Ballade no. 1” at 4CC. It’s been previously said that you skated in absolute harmony with the pianist or as if you became the sound of the keyboard. What was your feeling this time? - This time, it seemed like my body’s movement synchronized with the music playing in my head. Every single sound and melody thoroughly soaked into my body, and I let my body be in charge of the performance. Although I was nervous when doing jumps or difficult parts and there were plenty of matters to focus on, I left more than 80% of myself in the program to the music’s guidance rather than my consciousness. About the FP, what did you have to be cautious about when editing the music, to avoid destroying the world of “SEIMEI” now that the music needs to be 30s shorter? - I found it compelling not to spoil the flow of the music or the program, so I avoided omitting any iconic part. There were parts where the tempo was quickened in the interest of time. However, even when the tempo was faster, for me, there was a certain meaning in skating [“SEIMEI”], and I had to be careful not to let the unique rhythm of my own fall apart. If the rhythm was changed too much, the true meaning of skating this program would be substantially different. Do you have any intention with SEIMEI’s new layout? To be specific, in the first 1 minute, you include 4 jumps. There was no run-up in between, only a mere turn from 3A to 3F. Please let us know how you came to engendering such a layout, something that can’t be done by anyone but Hanyu Yuzuru. - Firstly, I wanted to cherish the music cuts which make up the program as much as possible. Then, there was editing to do. I didn’t want to change the flow of the first half, so the solution was to have 3 jumps with [1.1x] bonus in the 2nd half, I must find some way to insert one more jump in the 1st half, and I came up with placing 3F there. It could be either 3Lo or 3F, but I chose 3F since it did not to disrupt the music and rhythm. I showed Shae [my idea] right after she finished shaping the whole program, but she was also pleased by it, so we went with that layout.

Is there any experience from skating “Otonal” and “Origin” that you can utilize? - “Otonal” is a piano piece but there’s also an orchestra. With the piano’s sound as the core, I was trying to express the completion of the music, and [skate] while gathering picking up various shades of music. When skating “Ballade no. 1”, because I have [experienced] expressing an orchestra, I’ve come to feel the purity and transparent quality of the piano’s echo, and the expansion of sound even more deeply. I skated “Origin” while channeling the power surging up from deep inside and I always performed it taking my own self as a (candle’s) wick. Throughout the performance, that energy became the nuclear*. In “SEIMEI”, even when receiving those energy and power, it’s important to adjust so everything is kept under control. Rather than letting the overflowing energy run loose, I want to embody floaty, airy image and philosophical insights, even with my feet on the ground.

On this season’s achievements and next season’s goals You adopted the strategy of changing jump layouts according to the competition. You also competed in the GPS, GPF, and JN. What did you achieve? - I think not getting injured is my biggest achievement.When I forcefully try to push myself from poor to peak condition, my body can’t catch up. I went through a long time with no serenity even in my heart, but this season, I think I was able to adjust well. Would you let us know how your training, for injury prevention and such, is coming along? - I think I know the where within myself the “line” (limit) at which I should stop pushing ahead is. However, I’m aware that if I can’t overcome that boundary, I can’t improve, so I think cautiously about the days when I can push beyond the limit and days when I shouldn’t.

The WC was cancelled, but how was the result of your training after 4CC, and how that will connect to next season? - I feel like I was even more attentive to practicing skating basics and jumps. I wouldn’t say everything is completed, but if I train earnestly now, I can detect what goes wrong, and that’s how the result will connect to next season in my opinion. Did the novel coronavirus affect your training and daily life in Canada? Also, what are the precautions you’re practicing? - I’ve been washing my hands and gaggling my throat. Besides, whenever I come home from practice, I disinfect various things. I think there isn’t much impact on my training. From now on, it’s off-season. Do you have any training you want to do in mind? - I want to spend time on practicing 4A, for it’s extremely difficult to train for a new jump mid-season. My home rink was already closed, so it’ll be tough from now on (Interviewer: By 3/16, Ontario had been locked down to reduce the spread of coronavirus). However, I can still make use of other methods like on-land training, etc. I think it’s helpful to build a good foundation. Please let us know your vision of next season’s program, image of music and such, to an extent that you find acceptable. - I want to do new programs. I don’t know for sure how long it would take to incorporate 4A, but that’s also my goal to work hard for next season. I haven’t had any tangible image of the programs or music for now. However, I hope to do something that is meaningful to myself.

We’ll ask you about the 4A. At GPF, you’ve given us a glimpse it for the first time. What do you think about the atmosphere in the arena at that time after you showcased the jump? - I was nervous, but because I was jumping in front of everybody, I kind of hoped I would succeed. I really enjoy the taste of climbing over the hindering wall.

[...about state of 4A...]

Finally, please let us know your resolutions for next season and send a message to fans. - I’m really thankful that you keep supporting me to the end in this season as well. I think everyone is all going through a hard time because of the novel coronavirus right now. Please be careful. For me, from now on I will keep on accumulating the training towards next season, including the 4A.

[...Bonus: Yuzu-related parts in Satomi Ito’s special interview ...] [Juro’s explanation on use of words and message by Juro]

#yuzuru hanyu #fstranslation #figure skating #yuzu

99 notes · View notes

not-poignant · 7 years

Text

Cancer / Thelma & Louise update:

(Everyone’s calling it cancer now - i.e. the endocrinologists and neurosurgeons and stuff, so I am too). (Also I’m cutting and pasting from my Facebook update because I’m too tired to rewrite for Tumblr, apologies!) .

Yesterday I saw the neurosurgeon, and things went about as well as I expected them to go. It wasn't a total worst case scenario, which is if they couldn't do surgery at all, so that's something.

But everything else is kind of shitty, so let's talk about that.

Firstly, you know what's crazy? They still can't tell me how fast the tumours are growing. This is partly because if you get a scan at a different place that isn't Charlies, they only keep that scan in their system for two weeks, and then it's deleted. None of the specialists like it, and they've all complained about it, but the hospital IT won't change the policy. This means that my best images, which were from Joondalup PRC two months ago, aren't something the surgeons can see. So I need to get a copy of that from them, and start bringing it with me to appointments.

Secondly, you know what's also crazy? This surgery. This surgery is crazy. When a very seasoned neurosurgeon says to you: 'by my standards, the surgery to remove this cancer is major, *major* surgery, and I recommend observing until you start to become symptomatic' - you know it's a big deal.

You know it's an even bigger deal when he tacks on: 'and by symptomatic, I mean compression on the brain.' Like, big-deal life-ruining serious 'I don't want to do anything anymore' symptoms.

And that's kind of because the surgery itself stands a really high chance of doing that to me anyway, even if I'm lucky to survive it.

The problem with that pesky Glomus Vagale Paraganglioma (Thelma), is that in order to just *get* to her, they'll need to expose four of the main cranial nerves - specifically, cranial nerves 9, 10, 11 and 12. They already know they can't save cranial nerve 10, this is the Vagus Nerve, and the tumour is growing in the sheath that protects it.

Just exposing the nerves and removing the tumour while the nerves are exposed risks destroying every other one. Now, I'm not going to launch into a huge discussion about what that could ruin, but you can Wikipedia 'cranial nerve' and look up each one if you really want to know how life-ruining it can be to have these nerves destroyed. (No, they can't be re-attached). Suffice to say that the surgery could permanently remove the ability for me to move my head, my shoulder, my neck, my tongue, my throat, the ability to talk, swallow and eat. I have mirroring nerves on the other side, but the surgeon was blunt that nerve risks compared to other risks weren't really his biggest issue with the surgery anyway.

And that won't cure the disease, and that won't necessarily stop the tumours from growing back in the exact same spot either. Paragangliomas *really* like to grow in the head/neck.

And anyway, that's to say nothing of the partial skull removal, surgery in the very vulnerable-to-strokes carotid space, and of course the arterial vein graft they'd want to do, and the whole 'temporarily switching off your brain' part of the surgery.

When you hear from surgeon number one: 'I won’t do this surgery without a good neurosurgeon that's willing to do it' and from surgeon number two (who is the neurosurgeon): 'I'm not willing to do this surgery until you are *significantly symptomatic* from the cancer' - and you have heard similar from the Clinical Professor Endocrinologist, and you expect to hear the same from the ENT surgeon (they'll be the ones to expose the nerves in the first place, even the base of skull neurosurgeon refuses to do that), you know that the surgery itself is...

The surgery is not safe. And it can't be done any time soon. Not if I value my quality of life as it is now - which I do. I really do. I want to take advantage of living the life I have now. It's not an easy life. I have many other chronic illnesses and I wake up in pain every day, and have fatigue all the time, but this is the best it's likely ever going to get, and I want to savour that for what it is, for as long as I can. Because it's still a beautiful life, and the specialists want me to look after it.

This means essentially, that the most viable choice right now is to live with the cancer until I don't think I can really stand it anymore, re: impact on quality of life, and then have a surgery that... ah, well... yeah.

We're hoping the tumours are slow growing, because this means that surgery could be two or three years away. But we don't actually *know* yet, and they could decide to metastasise at any time, they could decide to do lots of other things at any point, they may decide to grow quickly, or start secreting toxins into the body (something these tumours are famous for, I'm *very* lucky that my tumours are currently 'non-functional') or whatever else there is...

So I am getting my PET scan soon, seeing the ENT people, seeing Walsh again, seeing the neurosurgeon again in two months, and from there, we will look into radiotherapy (the side effects of radiation to this section of the head/neck is not great), and I'm going to start looking into things like Gamma Knife 'surgery' and so on.

But the surgeons think it would be best if I learned how to live with this cancer until such point as its making my life so miserable I can choose to have a surgery that is honestly, both kind of spectacular in terms of what they're wanting to do, and would certainly be an adventure, but could make my entire life afterwards - if I'm lucky enough to survive it - a very different animal indeed. To say nothing of the fact that the tumours could come back at any point, and if they come back to places where I've previously had surgery like this, there may be nothing they can do.

Believe it or not, *that* was not my worst case scenario, lol. But nor was it the best. In fact that was pretty far away from the best. I cried into my gelato at Gusto yesterday after the appointment, I hope the shopkeeper didn't mind, lol.

I've also decided I had best make a bucket list, just in case. I think the first thing I'll put on it is 'have gelato at Gusto and not cry all over it.'

I am, all things being equal, going well. I am not happy about what's happening - who would be? But I genuinely feel I have very good, competent care, and surgeons who won't rush me into a potentially life-destroying decision. I feel like it could absolutely be a lot worse, given my tumours are non-functional and mostly they're just dormant hitchhikers right now that make my neck sore sometimes. And I have very good people in my life, both offline and on. I am very blessed by the good will of friends and strangers, and I love the home I live in, and our garden, and the cats, and Glen, and our mind-blowing collection of books and DVDs (because I am a huge fan of escapism right now, lol).

But yeah that's...where I'm at. As always, all questions welcome! I will answer as best as I can. I can never fit everything I've learned into these posts, they're long enough as it is!

#personal #carotid body paraganglioma #glomus jugulare paraganglioma #hereditary pgl pcc #cancer #also i'm probably going to be flying to the #International Symposium on Paragangliomas and Pheochromocytomas #in Sydney #in late August / early September #heh i wrote Augus instead of August #that's so awesome #anyway now i'm going to bed #honestly it's been a very tiring two weeks #so glad i've been able to get some writing up #i'm loving writing right now #you folks are the best

62 notes · View notes

carnivorousdarkness · 7 years

Text

Time for a post. A personal, controversial post by a gay white boy, so if that's not your thing, scroll on by. But it's an important post. It's time to start seeing how the image of equality is degrading, how forgotten the core values of it have been, and replaced by some kind of twisted reversed image of life 10 years ago.

There's an obvious rift growing between the two sides, growing more and more at arms, but in ways becoming less disparate and more comparable. The truth of this is that they both present similar qualities, and one of those is the scapegoat.

This may come off as a pity post, and maybe it is. But maybe a pity post is long over due, a long time of putting up with too much and saying nothing in defense. If nothing else, I'm sick. I'm sick of being 'the privilaged gender' or 'the privilaged race'. Why do I have to be everyone's enemy and everyone's scapegoat because I have similar bodyparts to actually horrible people. Why is it culturally okay to bully us, when the same exact thing elicits a proper response. Why do I need to be pushed to dark thoughts of self harm to get away from that growing stigma. I always grew up knowing very well, and as someone of my sexual orientation have always had to deal with, that everyone needs to be treated equally, that no one needs to be made to feel bad, that even tiny transgressions can have deep impacts, and that was a property shared by everyone.

Women and people of color are being killed today, by racists and sexists, and are being treated as second class citizens, and that's not okay. But why does one party have to be punished for another to find equality. Why do people, who have not directly done anything wrong, who are only privileged by the structure of society and not by their own spite or choice, have to be treated as the great enemy of all, the Plague to the Planet, lumped into the same category as the worst because they share lineage.

Isn't it what we're trying to do to make everyone equal to stop people from being judged for who they are, treated differently for the way they were born? For their voice unheard, their pain uncredited, their kind unwelcome? The fact that it only extends as far as a few, destroys that very movement.

I can't be sorry for typing this, for how can I be sorry when I have done nothing wrong. There's a lot of controversy in the world, a lot of things people say that will come out as to offend everyone, but if my defense is offensive then there's something very wrong. It's time for me to be a little controversial. I'm speaking out now to clarify what it means to really be equal. There is an unspoken cost to the privilege of being a white male, and that cost is being the direct enemy of every other race and gender. Being a white male comes with favor among the majority, among other white males, but with a disfavor among everyone else. One is expected to be racist, or expected to act entitled, and it's either a surprise or a lie when one tries for themselves to move passed it all and help everyone else, to try and help make a better world.

And for those of my kind, we're stuck in a constant limbo of being on neither side, for to try and seek out acceptance for one's sexuality is to court demonization for other arbitrary, superficial qualities, for privilege no one asked for, for things we cannot change about ourselves, and even as much as we would try to change society the end is all the same. Coming to Tumblr to try and find acceptance is a thing of the past. It was once that if you wanted to be gay as ever you could come here and find gay empowerment. Now it's a diamond in the rough, with empowerment turning into role-reversal. It's great to see all the minorities starting to rise, those long prejudiced against by straight white males and in many places still today, to see that acceptance for them is growing. And none of this is to say that it must stop. If anything, progression MUST continue moving forward. But what that means is not the idea we have today. Words are quickly turning into violence. People are once more becoming a straw target. For things they cannot control or change alone. That is not fair, no matter who you are or what you're trying to do. The future where anyone is treated unfairly for reasons they cannot control is the bad future.

The message of equality is eroding. We're forgetting what it means, pretending it means there is one enemy to scapegoat, in essence recreating the image of the last century with different names. It can be denied, and it likely will, but it's a haunting reality and a likely one if we can't change what we're doing for the better. For everyone's benefit, not just a few. That's a privilege on it's own, that some are sympathized more than others.

I'm very tired. This is likely one of my last posts, for reasons that I don't feel safe on this website anymore, and can no longer use empowerment as an excuse to stay. If I do, it's because I for some reason found hope once more in this websites ability to make a change. And if I do, I would hope I do not come to these thoughts again, that I am the enemy, for no other reason than I look the part and people I've never met and share my looks are prejudiced.

2 notes · View notes