#tw.drinking

[croimilis]

private show

title: private show

characters: peter parker x stark!avenger!reader

rating: 18+

words: 8k

theme: smut, porn with minor plot, a little sweet moment between reader, shang-chi and america

warning: smut, filthy smut, alcohol. titty job, oral (m and f receiving),hair pulling, praise, thigh riding, fingering, nipple play, reader has nipple piercings, p in v sex, unprotected sex (please assume some type of other contraception is used), multiple orgasms (both m and f), cum swallowing, peters a bit of  perv, mentions of birth control, creampie, dom!peter, confident!peter, cum eating, cum play, peter calls reader ‘princess’ maybe a little too much, soft!peter, aftercare, a little bit of subdrop

summary:  “turn down the lights and watch my private show”

you notice peter has an obsession with your tits, so you offer to give him a private show

tags: @xoxabs88xox​

a/n: all characters are 18+ (specifically 21 as there is drinking mentioned), this was meant to be short and sweet, but i’m slowly learning i cannot do anything in moderation and it is most definitely the most filthy smut i have ever written

He was staring again, his eyes following you throughout the room from the moment you entered. You could feel them burning into your skin as you walked, greeting various benefactors and members of the Avengers with you arm wrapped around Tony’s, to be specific you could feel them burning into the skin of the cleavage you had exposed in your deep cut dress where the ‘v’ almost reached your belly button.

It wasn’t the first time you had noticed Peter staring at your boobs, it was one of many over the last couple of months and you were sure he was staring long before it came to your attention and you don’t know how you didn’t notice sooner. After all, Peter Parker was not discreet in any way shape or form outside of his role as Spiderman.

When you first noticed it was soon after you had gotten your nipples pierced, much to your fathers horror and everyone else's amusement as Tony freaked out about his ‘sweet innocent little angel falling into temptations’ despite knowing you had not been innocent since the age of 16 when you asked him to go on birth control specifying why (he looked like he was ready to drop dead at that very second while Peper just looked on with an amused smile).

Given the pain of the piercings, you were reluctant to wear a bra for the first few days and instead floated about in loose tank tops and camis that were just tight enough to show your new piercings but not enough that it would hurt. This particular day, you were sitting at the kitchen island of the compound just scrolling on your phone as you waited for Tony and Bruce to be finished in the lab because you were supposed to be heading out to lunch with your dad.

As Peter walks into the kitchen, you flash him a smile and give a small “”hey” in greeting before turning your eyes back to your phone. Peter on the other hand could not keep his eyes off you no matter how hard he tried. In general, Peter thought you were stunning, this complete otherworldly creature that he could only describe as heavenly and he was completely and utterly infatuated from the moment he saw you all those years ago when he first joined the Avengers at the young of age of 16, that was 5 years ago now and he was still completely enamoured with you. Probably even more so now that he actually knew you as a person.

But recently Peter has become completely obsessed with a particular part of your body, he just couldn’t help himself. It seemed that every time you were around his eyes would drift towards your chest and stay there for much longer than was deemed polite, though he was sure that by even looking he was way past the point of politeness, and today was no different.

Especially with the way the bars of your new piercings were pushing against the fabric of your shirt, as if inviting him to have a look and he couldn’t look away, not as you greeted him, not as he leaned against the kitchen counter while eating the apple he had lifted, not as you tell him about the newest article about Spiderman and (hero name) and how there’s rumours the two are sleeping together or romantically involved and snort at some of the comments being made about the two of you, and not as Tony walks into the room to take you for your lunch. He prays to every god that could exist, including Thor and Loki, that you don’t notice the way his eyes suddenly snap up to your face as you give him a goodbye, like all the other times he stares he hopes you don’t notice.

But unlike all the other times before, you notice this time. You had actually looked up from your phone for a split second to try and read Peter’s expression as you tell him about the news article you were reading and had noticed that while he was listening, he was focused on something other than your voice and he was not being discreet about it with the way his eyes lingered and a light flush dusted his cheeks a lovely shade of pink.

Instead of questioning him, you simply smirk and look back down to your phone, a small blush spreading across your cheeks at the attention. After all, similar to Peter, you harboured an attraction to him from the first time you met at 16 years old but never thought it was reciprocated in any way but now you knew you were going to have fun with it.

After that you started noticing him staring more often.Like that one time after training with Natasha when you were in nothing but a sports bra and pair of athletic shorts, he seemed to be watching the way the sweat that had gathered on your body was dripping down between your cleavage with such intensity you could almost feel his gaze burning into our skin. That day you had to suppress a smirk and pretend like you were just getting a headache as Nat turned to you with a weird look and asked what was up, after all just because you knew didn’t mean everyone else had to know.

Or that time you were at an Avengers themed Halloween party some fraternity at your college was throwing and you had gone as Black Widow, taking one of Nats old cat suits and adjusting it to your body measurements to do so. Still, even with adjustments the suit was tight around your chest and squeezed your breasts together in a way that made sure they would be hard to miss. You had meet up with Peter (obviously dressed as Spiderman) and MJ (who refused to participate but still wore an Avengers t-shirt) at the party and immediately noticed how Peter’s eyes drifted to your chest before they bounced back to your eyes, a flush spreading across his cheeks as he stuttered out a greeting and practically choked on his own spit causing MJ to turn to him with a ‘wtf’ look and a “dude are you okay?”

You simply batted your eyelashes at him, inwardly grinning to yourself, and asked in your most innocent voice, “Yeah, Pete. You okay?” Peter swore he was going to die that very second had it not been for Flash (who was dressed up as Spiderman as well, though he claimed his looked more authentic despite the fact that Peter was simply wearing one of his old costumes) coming up and stealing your attention from Peter with a “(Y/N)! You’re looking great.”

---

There were moments like that scattered throughout the few months since you had noticed him staring for the first time, all of them leading up to this night and your choice of dress. Natasha and Wanda had helped you pick it out, a gorgeous black that hugged close to your figure and showed off all your curves beautifully with a deep deep ‘v’ neckline that showed of your tits like they were pieces of art to be shown off, Tony had nearly had heart failure when he had seen you in it for the first time a week earlier as he walked in on Pepper adjusting the length for you. Which to you, meant it was absolutely perfect for what you wanted it for.

Your eyes roam  around the room for a bit, your arms wrapped around Tonys as talks to another benefactor and Admiral Simpson or something like that, you had stopped caring three Admirals ago, looking for Peter. When your eyes finally meet his, you smile and excuse yourself from the conversation to go and join him at the large window showing off the lights of New York below.

Peter is standing by himself, occasionally bringing the beer in his hand to his mouth to take a sip. These events weren’t really his scene, while Peter loved a good party he hated the formality around the Avengers events and so he usually kept to himself and relegated himself to a corner of the room where he could nurse a beer the whole night and just watch as the party slipped by him. Sometimes you joined him in his corner, bringing cheesy jokes and conversations that kept his mind busy, other times the two of you would escape and he would take you swinging around the city and you would end up sitting on some random rooftop his suit jacket wrapped around your shoulders to fight of the cold as you ate some of the best pizza greasy New York had to offer.

It seemed this night you decided to just join him, lifting a champagne flute from the tray of a waiter as they passed you by and downing its contents in second leaving a red residue behind from your lipstick. You stand in front of him, a small smile on your face as you do so and greet him with a gentle “hey” that he reciprocated, though you have to stop your smile from turning into a smirk as his eyes moved down your face and across your body, fully taking you in, lingering a little too long on your chest.

As Peter greets you, eyes quickly snapping up to meet yours, you let out a small chuckle and reach a hand out, wrapping it gently around his wrist and slowly moving it up her arm as you lean close to his ear, your chest pressing against his lightly as you do so.

“If you like staring at my tits so much, why don’t I give you a private show?” You smirk to yourself and bite down on your bottom lip, you were so close you could feel the heat radiating off his cheeks as the blush spread across his face rapidly.

You remove your hand from his bicep, slowly trailing it up his shoulder as you walk behind Peter, your chest now very flush with his back, you keep going your hand now gently wrapped around Peter’s neck as you tilt his head upwards so he’s looking at ceiling and you lips are right beside his ear, “Meet me in my room in 30 minutes”

You would go now, but the party had only started and as the daughter of the host it would be rude of you to not make the rounds, have at least 1 drink and socialise a bit with the other avengers, and maybe just maybe you wanted to torment the poor soul just a little. You remove your hand from Peter's neck and fully turn away from him, instead facing the bar and you smile at Natasha, who was behind the bar as usual much preferring to work at these events than have to socialise and who was already preparing a (preferred drink) for you.

As you approach, she cocks and eyebrow and gives you a sly but questioning look as if she knew exactly what you were up to., placing the drink down on the counter in front of you. “What are you doing that poor boy?”

You simply roll your eyes and lift the drinking, bringing it to your lips, eyes ghosting over to where Peter now stood in shock with a bright blush spreading across his cheeks and his head whipping from side to side to make sure no one else had seen what had happened. “I have no idea what you’re talking about Nat.”

“Uh-uh, as if you couldn’t cut the sexual tension between the two of you with a butterknife.” You snort at her comment, leaning your back against the bar and placing your elbows on it as well for extra stability in your heels as Nat leans on the bar at your side, arms crossed over the counter and her head tilted towards you, “Just make safe choices, we don’t need any little Iron Spiderlings running around.”

This time you roll your eyes at her comment and down the rest of your drink, your eyes finding a very nervous looking Shang-chi and America being hounded by a bunch of benefactors who want to know simply everything about the pair, well more specifically about what they could do. You push yourself of the bar and turn to Nat to place a kiss to her cheek, “I always make safe choices Nat,” Natasha rolls her eyes at you as she leans into the kiss and you give her a cheeky smile as you make your way over to the nervous pair and the five or six benefactors surrounding them.

“Okay, why don’t we give them some space to breathe?” The benefactors all turn to look at you at the sound of your voice, your eyes are narrowed into a glare, your face hardened and arms crossed over your chest, even if they didn’t know what exactly you were capable off and the fact that you could kill them all twice over in just a few seconds they would still be intimidated from your look alone, after all your glare could rival Medusas and turned most people into living statues as they stared at you in fear, a skill you have to thank Natasha for. They all gulp down their fear, shuffling away from Shang-Chi and America with nervous looks on their face and all muttering some form of “of course Miss. Stark” or “sorry Miss.Stark.”, preferring to use your real name over your hero name as if refusing to address you as your hero name gave them some sort of power over you.

You kept the glare on your face until the last of them disappeared out of your sight, instead going to bother some other members of the Avengers (probably Sam and Bucky) who would have no problem either entertaining them or telling them to fuck right off. As the last one disappears, you drop the glare and turn to Shang-Chi and America with a soft smile and nothing but kindness in your eyes. “You guys okay?”

America says nothing and just nods her head as she wrings her hands together nervously and Shang-chi gulps down his nerves and answers you, “Yeah..we’re…we’re good.” With a chuckle you realise they were scared of you and you reach out a hand to take Americas, rubbing soft circles against her skin as you do so to try and ease her nerves, “Relax, that look is reserved for those vultures and the press.”

Shang-Chi nods his head and you can see the tension leave his shoulders slightly, though not completely, and you can feel some of the tension leave America as she winds her fingers in with yours as a form of comfort. “Other then those guys, how are you guys?”

A shaky breath leaves Shang-Chi lips, “Nervous,” you nod along to him and hum softly in response, “Your first event is always the hardest, but you get used to them after a while and you learn how to tell those dicks to fuck off without feeling guilty about it.” America lets out a giggle at your words and you smile at her, she’s a sweet girl and being around the age you were when you first joined the Avengers you felt a sisterly need to look after her.

You spend the next 20 minutes just talking to the pair, calming their nerves and reassuring them that they were going to be fine. Every Avenger in the room had their backs and all it would take is one word and they would handle anyone giving them bother, especially Stephen Strange who had formed an attachment to America.

Once their nerves were calmed she started to get to know each other a little more, you talked about your mothers and how much you adored and missed them, Shang-Chi told you about Ta Lo and America told you about the Utopian parallel universe she was from and you spoke about the small cottage in the middle of nowhere your mother raised you in, surrounded by nothing but woods and nature, it was your perfect little corner of the world untouched by anyone else until she got sick. It was nice to talk about, most people you spoke to about your mother always showed sympathy and seemed to focus on the the loss rather than who she was as a person, but Shang-Chi and America wanted to know about her, about your life with her, not the grief, not the loss, but the good moments, the memories you shared with her and the love.

The conversation shifts quickly as Shang-Chi and America start to discuss some movie they had both seen that weekend, and you take that moment to excuse yourself from the pair as you notice Peter slip out of the room. You make your way towards the back of the room, skirting the edges and disappearing into the shadows as you do making it easy for you to slip out of the room without being noticed by most people, the only ones that do are Natasha and Bucky and they share a knowing look and small smirk before they turn back to their conversation.

---

As quickly as you slip into your room, you’re slammed against the cool metal of the door as it slides closed behind you with a hand roughly grabbing at your hips and another slamming against the door at the side of your face effectively trapping you against it. Your eyes instantly snap up to meet with Peter’s, his pupils blown wide and full of lust, you simply smirk up at him and bite down on your lip.

He’s so close, pressing his body against yours and you can feel the bulge that is barely contained by his dress pants pressing against you, can feel the rippling muscles of his abdomen as they press against your chest and his hot breath against your face as he leans in towards yu, yet still you want him impossibly closer to you. The desire that has been boiling away inside you these past few months finally bubbling over and igniting every nerve ending in your body, leaving you consumed by want, by need.

Your own breath starts to come out heavy and laboured as the desire begins to pull in your stomach, especially as Peter squeezes at your hips and slowly starts to move his hand upwards, ghosting over your torso and going higher and higher until his palm is barely touching the side of your breast while his fingers gently dug into your rips.

“I believe you owe me a show princess.”

You were used to the term ‘princess’ being thrown around when discussing you, usually by the press or by the people who thought you got everything handed to you by Tony since you were introduced to the world as his daughter at your 18 birthday. The people who called you princess used the word like a knife in an attempt to cut into you and see you bleed so they could inject their venom directly into your blood and turn you into the bitchy socialite they wanted you to be, that way they would be justified in their horribleness towards you.

But Peter’s tone did not hold any venom it, his voice had not be sharpened into a knife edge meant to dig into your skin, Instead it was honey rich and smooth and slipped off his tongue almost like a prayer, warming you from the inside and sending another pang of desire rolling through your bones.

Peter steps back from you, his arms moving from your side and waist but despite the absence you can still feel their lingering warmth through the fabric of your dress, and he sits himself down on the edge of your bed with his forearms against his thighs as he leans forward slightly and regards you with an intense, almost predatory gaze.

It sends a shiver down your spines and warmth to your core and the intensity of the look causes your hands to shake as you reach to the back of your dress and slowly pull down the zipper. You were deliberate with your speed, wanting to tease Peter just a little while longer and maybe a part of you was hoping he would jump to his feet and rip the zipper down himself. But he doesn’t.

Instead, as the slipper slowly moves down your back,you notice the vein in his jaw jump as he clenches it tighter and tighter. As the zip finally reaches the bottom, just above your ass, you let the sleeves of the dress fall from your arms which allows the fabric to pool at your feet, leaving you in only your heels. You stand there for a second, watching as Peter’s eyes widen at your bare form, after all the tightness of your dress did not leave room for panties or bra lines. His reaction causes a smirk to rise on your lips.

“You’re fucking stunning princess.”

You step out of the fabric at your feet, your heels clicking against the ground as you stalk towards him. As you reach him, his hands wrap around your bare thighs and he gives them a gentle squeeze as he stares up at you before leaning forward and placing a gentle kiss against your hip. You cup your hands around his jaw, rubbing your thumb against his cheek as you bend down to place a gentle kiss against his lips.

The kiss starts soft but quickly turns heated as Peter grips at your thigh and causes a small gasp to leave your lips, which Peter uses to shove his tongue into your mouth. You moan into Peter’s mouth as he twirls his tongue around yours before pulling it back and biting down gently on your lip, one of his hands moves from your thigh and trails ever closer to where you need him most and he smirks into the kiss as he feels your wetness seeping down your  thigh, the effect he has on you fueling his ego.

Peter pulls away from the kiss and pulls his hand away from your thigh, a light residue from the wetness on your thigh coating his fingers, “This all for me baby?”

You nod, not knowing where this confident side of Peter had come from but loving it all the same, “Yes Peter, all for you.” He lets out a hum and sucks his fingers into his mouth, savouring the lingering taste of you as he looks up at your flushed cheeks through his long lashes. You gulp at the sight, moving your hands from his jaw line and down onto his shoulders, trailing down his arms as you lower yourself down onto your knees in front of him.

You rest your hands over his clothed thigh and look up at Peter with lightly veiled innocence, your big doe eyes lust blown to the point that the [colour] of your irises were almost completely gone, eclipsed by the blackness of your pupils, and slightly parted lips now imprinted in Peter's mind and locked away somewhere safe for those lonely nights in the future where he will most definitely be touching himself thinking about this night.  “Let me take care of you Peter, please?”

When you look at him like that and ask in that almost begging tone, who was he to tell you no, “Go ahead baby.”

With his permission, you’re moving your hand from his thigh and to the zipper of his pants pulling it down and then pulling down both his pants and boxers in on go, Peter lifting his hips slightly to make it easier for you, letting them pool around his ankles and you lick your lips at the sight of his cock bouncing against his stomach once its released from his boxers.

You keep your hands on high thighs and lean forward, your tongue making contact with the base of Peter’s cock and causing a groan to fall from Peter’s lip that only amplifies as you lick up to the tip and suck the tip into your mouth, swirling your tongue around it. The moan Peter lets out is like music to your ears and encourages you to do it again, running your tongue over the slit as you do, before starting to bob up and down on his length.

You do your best to take him all in your mouth, but you struggle to do so, gagging as he hits the back of your throat. Your inability to take all of him in your mouth sparks an idea in your mind, one you're sure Peter is going to love. Pushing yourself up on your knees so you’re just that little bit higher, you lean forward and slot Peter’s cock into the valley of your breasts and Peter nearly faints at the sight.

Your pretty lips all swollen from the kiss and from sucking his cock, your pretty little boobs wrapped around his cock, its another image seared into his mind and stored away for later use. As you press your hands into the side of your boobs, tightening their hold on his cock, and start moving them up and down, the moan Peter lets out can only be described as unholy and it adds fuel to the already raging fire inside you as you clench and unclench around nothing and rub your thighs together for just a little bit of friction or relief, though it offers none.

You continue your ministrations with your tits, watching through heavy lashes as Peter’s face contorts in pleasure and he struggles to hold in the moans and groans that are falling intermittently from his lips, between words of praise about how good you’re making him feel and being such a good girl for him, you would admit it to no one (not even Peter) but his words went straight to your core and caused you to clench even harder around nothing.

You reach your tongue out, giving kitten licks to the mushroom tip and over his slit as often as you could between the thrust of yours boobs, causing Peter to throw his head back and pleasure and reach a hand out to grab at the hair at the back of your head, “Shit , princess… you’re killing me here.”

That’s all the encouragement you need to keep going, darting your tongue out and swiping across Peters head almost every time it gets close to your mouth, licking up the precum leaking out of the tip, and squeezing your boobs even tighter around his cock as you do so, another groan forces itself out of Peters mouth as his hand tightens in your hair, causing a moan to fall from your own lips. “I’m so close, you gonna let me cum all over those pretty tits of yours princess?”

“Yes Peter, please cum all over my tits”

The desperation in your voice, the almost begging tone lacing it causes Peter to lose his composure and control as he shoots rope after rope of cum over your chest as you continue to move your boobs over him, the cum spreading down the valley and up onto your chest with some even landing in your mouth on your waiting tongue that you had stuck out when he started to cum.

Peter pants as you let go of your boobs and sit back, his hand leaves your hair and instead cups your jaw gently in a stark contrast with how hard he had been gripping at the roots where he runs a finger across your chin to swipe up the cum that had hit against it. He taps his thumb against your lips and you open, sucking his thumb into your mouth and moaning at the sensuality of it. It’s another image Peter will have seared in the back of his brain for the rest of his life.

As Peter focuses on the image of you, on your knees sucking on his thumb covered in his cum, you swipe some of the cum of your chest letting it cover your fingers before you pull back of his thumb and instead suck your own fingers into your mouth, swirling your tongue around them to get as much cum off them as you can. Your eyes are staring up at Peter’s through your eyelashes, watching as the irises almost completely disappear, existing as the smallest rings around the pitch blackness of the blown out pupil, when you pull your fingers from your mouth with a ‘pop’ Peter is quick to pull you into a rough kiss, instantly shoving his tongue into your mouth.

You moan at the sensation of his tongue massaging yours, reaching your hands up and wrapping them around his neck, rising back up so Peter’s not having to bend over as much, tangling your hands a little bit less than gently in his hair and giving it a gentle tug, which causes Peter to let put a deep almost animalistic growl that has you clenching your thighs together even tighter, the movement of which Peter notices and he’s pulls away from you, a cocky smirk on his face.

“You took such good care of me princess…” His hand ghosts across your thigh until he’s hovering over your core, so close you can feel the heat emanating from it, and then ever so slowly he runs a finger through your folds, pressing against your clit with the slightest pressure as he does so and causing a whine to fall from your lips because god was it the most heavenly thing you’ve felt recently but it just was not enough, “Now let me take care of you.”

He takes your arms in his hands, guiding you to standing before he strips himself of his blazer and dress shirt, throwing them to the ground somewhere in your room. He lets you go and sits back down on the bed, patting his thigh as an invitation for you to sit. It's one you take almost immediately, throwing on leg over and lowering yourself down so that the fabric of his trousers make contact with your bare cunt and rubbing so deliciously on your clit as you do, ripping a moan from your throat as you do. "You have such pretty moans, pretty girl."

Peter grips onto your hips, fingers digging in a way that was painful to the point you were sure they were going to leave bruises but also amplified the pleasure coursing through your veins. Peter starts to move you up and down his thigh, the friction of the fabric rubbing on your clit at a brutal pace sending shockwaves through you and causing you to throw your head back as moans continually fall from your lips.

“Does that feel good?” You nod your head and Peter tenses his thigh underneath you, bouncing his knee alongside it pulling another loud moan from your lips at pleasure overwhelms your senses, “Come on princess, you gotta use your words.”

You let out a whine at the sensation, the motion of the bounce putting delicious pressure and friction against your clit that has you almost seeing stars, “Fe-feels s’good Peter.” Your words slur together as pleasure overwhelms your senses. Peter’s grip tightens at your words as he moves you even quicker against his thigh, the coil in your stomach that had already been wound tight, tightens even further and can feel the cliff edge of your orgasm approaching so very quickly.

“Yeah baby? You gonna cum all over my thigh?” You nod your head, reaching your hand up to grip at Peter’s shoulders so tightly that you're sure you’ll leave behind crescent shapes from your nails or even draw blood. Peter groans at the sensation, his cock already semi-hard again from watching you unravel on his thigh, he never thought he would be in pain (he experience enough of it on a daily basis) but yet here you are proving him wrong with the way your hands had previously tugged at his hair and the way your nails are currently biting into his skin and causing his cock to twitch at the sensations.

“Go on then princess, cum for me.” There he goes again with that stupid pet name that you should hate but instead has you melting into him even further, your clit throbbing as it rolls of his tongue like liquid gold honey that seeps deep into your bones. Peter tenses his thigh once again and you feel every ridge of hard muscle under the cloth of his trousers and it sends you spiralling off the cliff edge you had been teetering on as your orgasm sends shockwaves through your body.

Peter watches your face as it contorts in pleasure from your orgasm wracking through your body, ignoring the wetness that had now gone through his pants and was coating his thigh, and he swears you’ve never looked more beautiful and another image is forever ingrained in his mind. His cock was now fully hard once again and twitching against his stomach begging for some kind of attention or friction, which he grants it by removing his hand from it and giving it a few pumps but it wasn’t enough, no, Peter was feeling greedy now. He already felt the bliss of your mouth and tits wrapped around him and now he wanted more, no he needed more. Needed to feel your pretty little pussy wrapped around him and squeezing him.

Peter makes a quick decision while you’re still coming down from your orgasm and wraps the hand still holding onto you around your waist and twists you both around so that you were now lying on the bed with your legs hanging of bed with your butt just on the edge and he was now kneeling down in front of you with both hands on your knees, holding your legs apart as he eyes up your soaking wet cunt.

It almost makes you feel self-conscious, almost has you trying to squeeze your legs closed but Peter's firm grip and his superhuman strength stops you no matter how hard you strain against him, you simply cannot win against Peter in a battle of pure strength. The self consciousness erodes away and the words of discontent that were forming on your tongue are replaced by a porn-staresque moan as Peter dives in and licks a stripe up your cunt and latches his mouth onto your clit. `The sound causes Peters dick to twitch against his abdomen.

He hums against your clit, the vibrations adding to the immense pleasure you were feeling, and slowly pushes a single digit into your weeping hole to start prepping you to take his cock. He pumps in and out of you, finger curling in and pressing against your gummy walls as he does, you moan at the combined movement and sensation of Peter sucking on your clit and feel the coil in your stomach already start to tighten once again.

Peters free hand trails up your abdomen with a featherlight touch that you barely feel over the pressure of him fucking his finger into you, you really only become aware of his other hand when he pinches at your nipple and pulls at the metal of the piercing, the pain melding in with the pleasure in such a way that your eyes are rolling to the back of your skull and you miss the way Peter stretched you out by entering a second and third finger into you.

The coil in your stomach is impossibly tight, tighter that it ever has been and yet you doesn’t snap as Peter releases your clit with a ‘pop’ but he continues the ministrations with his fingers, rubbing against your most sensitive spot with every thrust, “God princess, you taste absolutely amazing and feel so amazing clenching down on my fingers, I can’t wait to feel you clenching on my cock.”

The praise falling from Peter’s lips goes straight to your head and causes you to clench around his fingers even harder, he presses harder into your g-spot and pulls on your nipples once again causing a wanton moan to fall from your lips, the coil in your stomach starting to reach it’s breaking point. “You gonna cum again baby? Go on, cum all over my fingers and face.” Suddenly Peter’s sucking on your clit once again and your eyes are rolling back in pleasure as it overwhelms you and you see nothing but stars as your orgasm overwhelms your senses.

As you cum all over him, your juices squirting over his fingers and rolling down to his wrist, he removes his fingers and instead starts to lap up everything you have to give him, moving the hand on your nipple down to hold your waist against the bed as you begin to write in overstimulation of Peter tonguing your entrance.

The sound of a whine finally pulls Peter away from your pussy and he stands from where he was kneeling, your juices now coating his mouth from your explosive organism, you look angelic with your hair spread out in a halo around you and a blissed out expression on your face, eyes wide and chest rising up and down rapidly as you try and catch your breath. In between your breaths, you reach out to Peter and he gladly leans in, allowing you to wrap your arms around his shoulders and pull him down into a passionate kiss that is all teeth and tongue as you try and get as much of Peter as you can.

Peter is the first to pull away from the kiss and starts to trail kisses down your neck, stopping occasionally to bite and suck on your skin leaving a trail of hickeys in his wake. The sensations have you whining, desperate for more as your needy cunt clenches around nothing, “Peter…” Peter smirks into your skin and places a gentle kiss on your collarbone before he rises and stares down at you with a raised eyebrow, “Need you…”

“Need me where princess? Come on baby use your words, tell me what you want”

“Please Peter…I need to feel you inside of me… please please fuck me” Your tone is begging, a whine falling from your lips at the end of the sentence, and who was Peter to deny you when you sounded so pretty begging for him inside you. Peter grips the base of his cock and rubs himself along your fold, coating himself in all your wonderful wetness as a lubricant, as the tip of his cock catches on your clit you let out another whine and Peter smirks at the sound. “Peter…please…enough teasing.”

Peter lines himself up with your entrance and looks up at you for confirmation and as you nod your head he slowly slides himself in, letting out a low groan at the sensation of you stretching and clenching around his cock. It's a groan that is drowned out completely by the moan you let out. Peter moves so slowly you can feel every part of his cock as it rubs inside of you, all the veins and ridges all piling onto the pleasure you’re experiencing and as he bottoms out inside you you let out a small, pleasurable whine.

You have never felt so full before in your life, no other partner you had filled you up just as much as Peter does, and it felt absolutely amazing. With Peter spending time prepping you to take him, you barely feel any pain and it takes only a second of Peter being fully sheathed inside you before you start beginning him to move, it’s a request he’s glad to fulfil as he slowly pulls out before slamming back into you and starting an almost brutal pace.

As Peter thrusts in and out of you at a rapid pace, you wrap your arms around his shoulder and dig your nails into the flesh, the pain of which combines with the pleasure of your cunt squeezing his cock and pulls a deep moan from Peter that has you dragging your nails down his back leaving red marks in your wake to hear it again and again. Your own moans join in with Peters as his cock hits against either your g-spot or your cervix with every thrust, driving you absolutely insane with pleasure to the point that black dots began to gather in your vision as another orgasm rocks through you unexpectedly, a result of combining the after effects of your previous orgasm and the pleasure currently coursing through every nerve in your body.

Peter lets out a deep groan as you clench around him, eyes moving to watch his cock piston in and out of you and at the white ring of your cum that had gathered around the base, “Fuck princess you feel so fucking amazing on my cock, squeezing me so good.” You try and form words, anything to show Peter just how amazing he’s making you feel, but you can’t. The words die in the back of your throat and are instead replaced simply by whines and moans but they’re still sounds that make Peter’s cock twitch inside of you.

Peter continues his assault on your pussy, chasing his own high, the pattern of his thrusts becoming irregular and scattered as he rapidly approaches his own orgasm. “Fuck…princes I’m going to cum” He was going to pull out and cum on your pussy and stomach, never had any intention of cumming inside of you until your soft voice quietly calls out an “inside.”

His eyes snapped up to meet yours and something feral reflected in them, “You want me to cum inside you princess? Want me to fill you up?” You nod your head as best you can and Peter slows down his thrust

“Oh God, yes Peter…please fill me with your cum.”

Peter speeds up his thrusts once again, hips slamming hard against your pelvis and balls slamming against your ass, the squelching sound of your pussy and the slapping of skin fills the air and joins the erotic symphony of your combined moans as Peter chases his high, the only thought in his head being how pretty you’re going to look with his cum dripping out of your pussy. It doesn’t take long until Peter trusts become sloppy and he sheathes himself completely inside you, tip of his cock pressed right against your cervix as he shoots rope after rope of hot cum inside of you with a loud groan.

Peter almost collapses on top of you, but he stops himself by placing his forearms by your head and using them to support his weight as his eyes move over your face, watching intently as you catch your breath and slowly come back to reality after three orgasms. He gently brushes one hand across your face in an attempt to ground you and as he cups your cheek to rub a thumb across the skin, you reach for his hand and cup your own around it. “You okay?”

You nod and turn your head to place gentle kisses on the palm of Peter’s hand, which has him smiling down at you gently and placing his own soft kisses against your forehead, “I’m going to pull out, okay?” You nod again, eyelids fluttering slightly and a small whine leaving your lips as Peter removes his cock from inside you, the stimulation a little too much. Peter whispers a gentle “sorry” and places more comforting kisses against your face and shoulders, the hand on your cheek continuing to rub against your skin to try and comfort you.

Peter places a gentle and loving kiss against your lips, the tenderness acting as such a juxtaposition to how deeply and roughly he had been fucking you moments before. You smile into the kiss, hand curling around the back of Peter’s neck to play with the baby hairs at the base. Peter pulls back from the kiss with a smile and pecks your nose gently, the cloudiness that had previously been in your eyes fading slightly as the skin to skin contact you have with him grounds you back to earth.

“Do you need anything? A shower, a bath, snacks?” You take a deep breath, pulling Peter down so he’s even closer and nuzzling into his neck, inhaling his scent as deep as you can and placing a light kiss against the skin, “A bath would be nice.” Your voice comes out soft and just above a whisper, had Peter not been deliberately paying attention he would have missed it.

“Okay princess, let’s run you a bath.” Peter goes to lift of you, but you keep him tight in your grip and wrap your legs around his waist, further restricting him from moving and going to draw you a bath. You let out a noise of discontent as he tries to pull away once again and Peter chuckles slightly at the sound. If you weren’t willing to let him go, then he was just going to have to carry you, which he did as he wrapped and arm around your waist for extra support and stood with you in his arms.

“Don’t worry princess, I’ll take good care of you”

---

Tony approaches Natasha at the bar, wanting a drink but also a little curious as to where you had disappeared too. You were on his arm when you both entered the party, though you quickly separated from him to go and socialise with people your own age after you had greeted all the necessary benefactors and he remembers seeing you with Parker briefly and then with America and Shang-Chi, it was their first Avengers formal event so he assumed you were reassuring them, but he hadn’t seen you since and he was getting just a little worried.

Nat, having seen Tony on his way towards her, places a glass of scotch, neat, on the bar top and smirks to herself as he grabs the glass and downs it in on go before he starts questioning her. “Have you seen my daughter?”

Natasha lets out a small hum and leans forward on the bar, using her forearms to support her weight as she does so, “I might have.” Tony rolls his eyes at the Widow and lets out a huff of air, placing his empty glass down with a little more force than necessary.  Natahsa’s smirk grows into a knowing smile as she glances to the door that both you and a certain spiderling had disappeared out of about 2 hours earlier and had yet to return from. Tony follows her gaze and he feels his heart tightening at the thought you had left with someone, “She left with someone?”

Natasha nods her head, “‘Bout 2 hours ago.” Horror slowly fills Tony, you would only be away for that long for one reason and one reason only and it was not one he was ready to consider for you. Despite being 21 years old, you were still hes sweet, little girl and the thought of you being sexually active was horrifying. Not only that, most people here that weren’t members of the Avengers were his age and older and he did not want you mixed up with them and there were very few members of the Avengers around your age, well specifically one and as the thought crossed his mind Tony started to glare at nothing, his jaw clenching and unclenching as he did so, “Parker”

Natasha laughed at Tony, a full belly laugh that had her throwing her head back as she did. After she settled down her laughter enough, she was able to grab onto Tony's shoulder to stop him from storming into your bedroom and seeing something he really did not want to see, “Oh come on. They’re young, let them have their fun.” Tony huffed out once again, as Pepper's voice filled his ears. He hadn’t even noticed her coming up beside him and taking his hand in hers to calm him down, though his temper flares again as Natasha speaks up once again.

“At least it’s not Barnes she’s running off with.”

#august.writes #marvel x reader #marvel x yn #marvel smut #peter parker x reader #peter parker x yn #peter parker x stark!reader #peter parker x avengers!reader #peter parker smut #spiderman x reader #spiderman x yn #spiderman x stark!reader #spiderman x avengers!reader #spiderman smut #tw.smut #tw.oral (m+f) #tw.drinking #tw.boob job #tw.cum play #tw.nipple play #tw.fingering #tw.multiple orgasms #tw.thigh riding #tw.cum eating #tw.penetration #tw.pervy behaviour

[classic-caldwell-moment]

Drunk Aiden x Lawan shenanigans? Yes, it's time for that folks! Oh dear...

Title: "Hair Dye + Aiden = ?"

Category: Fluff.

Warnings: Drinking.

Summary: After a small game of drunken "What I Like About You", Lawan and Aiden get a terrible idea.

"I've always liked- Yur- Your smile.", Aiden tilted his head curiously and poked the sides of his mouth with a drunken giggle, "This one?" he asked, Lawan nodded and brushed hair from her eyes, reaching a hand out to playfully pull at the corners of his mouty, "That one- Sooo...Cut- Cute!" she slurred, kissing the tip of his nose and chuckling, "M'kay- Your turn...What do yo- You like about me?" she asked as she pulled away; propping herself up on her elbows slightly in their bed, eyeing the pilgrim happily.

The drunk man seemed lost in thought, there were many things he liked about Lawan, "Uh...That- That's a haaard one." Aiden muttered, sitting up and rubbing the back of his neck, clearly thinking far too hard about this, "S- Is it really that h- Hard to find somethin' you like about me?" Lawan teased, patting his shoulder and bringing him away from 'Aiden Brain Land', he blinked and grinned, "Your...Hands.", Lawan snorted and burst out laughing, holding her hands up to his face, "They're g- Gross!" she retorted, cupping Aiden's cheeks and looking him over as if in disbelief of his answer.

"N- Nah! I like the, uh, way they feeeel!" he hummed, face smushed up in Lawan's palms as she prodded his cheeks and nose, "Nice...Texture-" he continued, "Texture Shmexture!" Lawan giggled, kissing his forehead and pushing him back down onto the mattress, "Ok- Okay! My turn- Um...I like- Your...Big eyes." she huffed, Aiden raised a brow and rubbed his eyes, "Are they- That big?" he asked, seeming almost hurt, Lawan chuckled and combed through his hair, "No- N- No. No. They're like- Uh, big with life, j- Joy- Y'know?", "Ohh! Makes sense..." the pilgrim murmured, clumsy smile spreading across his face.

The two seemed to forget what game they were playing for a brief moment, staring at nothing in particular, before Lawan blinked and grinned back at him, "Uh- Your turn! Remember?" she asked, Aiden's eyebrows furrowed and he nodded quickly, "Oh- Ye- Yeah! Yeah...Hm. Okay." he absently looked Lawan over, touching the sides of her face like she had done to him moments ago, before settling his hands in her hair, "Ohh! Y- Yes. Ye- I like thisss." Aiden said with a cheesy grin, "PSH- What?", "Your hhhair. It's- So pretty- I've always wanted...Pretty hair." he murmured, playing with strands of Lawan's thick hair; she seemed confused, cheeks warm and flushed, before a thought crossed her mind.

"I can- Give you pretty hair.", the pilgrim tilted his head once again, his eyes bubbling with curiosity, "How- How can you...Do that...?" he spoke with a soft tone, still playing with Lawan's hair between his fingers like it was a brand new toy, "Hair Dye." she responded in a matter of fact tone, gesturing to the purple streaks in her hair with a sloppy smile, Aiden's eyes widened and he grinned excitedly, "Re- Really? Can- Uh. Can you?" he asked, pulling his fingers from her hair to cup her warm face and squeeze her cheeks together, a bit too roughly if Lawan had to be honest, but she wasn't gonna discourage him from displaying affection, "Uh- Yeaah!" she snorted.

And that's where it left them, Lawan clumsily positioning Aiden in front of the cracked bathroom mirror, in the low light of UV lamps, trying to figure out drunkenly if the hair dye she owned was expired or not, "Are y- You gonna or...?" the man asked impatiently, drumming his fingers against the sink and giggling when Lawan jabbed his ribs in annoyance, "H- Hold on. Gimmie a second!" she huffed, sticking her tongue out at him in the purple tinted mirror, he returned the gesture in kind, almost spitting into the sink and coughing loudly, "M'kay. M'kay. I think- It's uh, good. You ready?" Lawan shook the hair dye from the box and tilted the bottle to the side, Aiden was still busy coughing up his left lung but, he offered her a shaky thumbs up.

"Psh- M'kay! You're gonna...Be so ridiculously handsome-" she giggled as she poured the hair dye into her gloved hand, staring at the glove when she realised there was a huge tear in it, "Uhhh. Um- Anyway, ready?", Aiden nodded, finally having stopped hacking up his entire organs and will to live, "I th- Thought I was...Already handsome!" he teased, grinning at her through the mirror, Lawan huffed and began to cautiously apply purple dye to his short hair with her fingers, "Yooou know what I meant!" she rolled her eyes and poked the sides of his head playfully, "Ow!", "Don't- Be a dick and then I won't pppoke your fuckin' brain out!" she snickered; peering at his hair curiously and wondering what the plan here was.

Around an hour passed with the two of them in that small bathroom, they now sat by the bathtub, waiting for the dye to take to Aiden's hair, speaking of him, he had repeatedly tried to eat the left over hair dye since they sat down, "Sttttop-" Lawan kicked the bottle away and shoved his face with a chuckle, "Probably- Tttastes fine." he licked her hand and grinned, "EW. YOU- YOU'RE FU- FUCKIN- GROSS!" Lawan hiccuped, furiously wiping her gloveless hand on her shirt and flipping him off, "My fuckin'...Head itches..." as always, Aiden had drifted from one topic to the next, "S' probably done then. Gonna have to wash your hair now." Lawan hummed, checking his scalp and sighing, "We don't- Have water- Pipes are...Frozen.", the woman checking his head groaned loudly and kissed his temple, "I fucking- Know- I knnnowww. My goooddd- I'll fucking get my water bottle or something-" she tossed her hands up with a huff.

"Mm...Yeah, sure, fuckin' waterboard me mommy-" Aiden muttered in a mocking tone, flipping her off and bursting out laughing when he saw the confused and annoyed expression on his partners face, "It's fuckin' tempting at this point-" Lawan scoffed and was just about to rise to her feet when somebody knocked on the bathroom door, "Hey- You two okay? Been on a drinking binge or something? Without me?", Lawan stared awkwardly at the door and Aiden looked just as supriaed, Hakon pushed open the door and peered in, large smile falling when he saw the purple hair dye across the floor, down Lawan's shirt, and...on Aiden's head, "Pour l'amour de la merde...Y'know, this is why I don't fucking let you two drink together." he sighed, softly headbutting the door frame, "Out, now." the frenchman gestured to the corridor behind him.

"I've got to fix whatever you've done to our poor fucking pilgrim.".

#postinginsilence #writinginsilence #dying light #dying light 2 #dl2 #dying light fandom #aiden caldwell #dl2 aiden #dying light 2 aiden #dl2 lawan #dying light 2 hakon #dl2 hakon #dying light 2 lawan #lawan x aiden #lawan x aiden x hakon #post apocalyptic polycule #slight hakon x aiden #tw.drinking #tw.alcohol #🌼him.txt

[masuchist]

TOUCH IT, MY TAIL 02

Genshin Impact . . Kaeya Alberich, Razor, Venti, Xiao, Xingqiu, Zhongli

Good girls get rewards.

fem reader, yandere, dubious content, breeding, collars, erotic humiliation, omorashi, degradation, begging, size differences, praising, overstimulation, dacryphilia, some choking, alcohol, use of ‘master’, implied somnophilia

Kaeya Alberich, and the Dependent Cat.

─ He’s always wanted a pretty pet. Better yet, one that can actually look after themselves when needed. Kaeya is a busy man, he can’t afford to stay with them all the time, so one independent brat will do wonders for this stale life. His schedule is usually packed to the brim, courtesy of being the right hand man of the acting grandmaster - surely you’ll come to understand the constant absence in his own home. This is to ensure your life is full of luxury, to keep himself busy, entertained. With that in mind, work will more than often be prioritized, leaving you deprived of his bittersweet affection. To come home after five days straight and be greeted by an unusually cuddly cat cuddling up to his leg is perhaps the best way to end a trip, getting the both of best worlds.

─ Everything you could ever want is at your disposal. Well, not without a tiny price. Nothing is free in this world, sooner or later you will know that. The catch is that you’ll have to indulge in his dark desires, let him have his way with you whenever he wants - nothing too out of the ordinary. Not finding out these dubious intentions until you are tied up all in baby blue silky ribbons one night, confused as to why you are in some strange dark basement when you recall dozing peacefully in the warmth of a fluffy bed. Not... whatever this is, catching a glimpse of Kaeya of what little light the fire aluminates from the melting candle.

Funny... you don’t seem to mind.

─ Compared to most, staying with him shouldn’t be as frustrating. Want to roam outside without supervision? Go ahead, he’s not even home most of the time to supervise. You’re practically a free woman, except, you’re not when depending on his income, his earnings in order to stay under a roof. You’ve no family that is alive, or close friends. Not that there was a chance to accumulate some. It was just you in this life, and now Kaeya. He was so generous to accept some stranger into his lovely abode. He was generous enough to regard you as family. Will you betray that spared kindness?

07. But A Taste

“Tell me what you want.”

He’s touching everywhere but there. Warm fingertips tracing the crooks and crannies of your body gently, shivering at his dubious touch. You are shamefully bare to a one-man audience and for some reason, that seemed all the more embarrassing. Not even safe in expensive undergarments as they are strewn about the floor - leaving you naked and vulnerable for the taking. Of course not just for anyone’s taking.

Only him, naturally.

“Y-You’re... s-so mean.” You hiccuped in what seems like apparent fear, showing him that precious, ruined face. One he’s tempted on capturing a picture of, and framing it for his office desk for motivational support on a hard day.

Foolish girl. 

Don’t you know you’re only pushing him to do more? He does all these horrible things for these types of reactions, you know. They’re addicting to elicit, hooked on the rush of power as a heated breath leaves his throat, delirious for more. 

“Ah, but... you don’t dislike it, do you?” Kaeya purrs rather madly, withdrawing his hands making you squirm. “You’re soaking wet already and I haven’t even touched you properly... How cute.”

How pathetic.

Not that there’s any problem. You’re best like this, needy, honest for once. Sometimes you need to be put in your place.

“Be honest and speak. We both know what you truly want.” 

You glance at him, then everywhere else.

Confused - conflicted on this matter because it is not like you were asking for this...

“I am waiting,” he murmurs lowly. 

Yet he was not wrong.

You’re getting colder the longer this spiel went on, not sure if it was his vision’s doing or the absence of your clothes in this freezing dungeon. Whatever the case may be, you wanted some form of heat. Fast.

Defeated, eyes glued to the ground you’d beg,

"P-Please... touch my p-pussy... M-Master...”

Razor, and the Perfect Bunny.

─ Aren’t you the perfect match - a wolf and its terrified prey. Not an unusual duo, except this time he’s found a way to coexist with you without wanting to devour you from head-to-toe… yet. He’s aware of the way his family stares back at you in hunger, hiding in the shadows waiting for a slim chance to strike. No matter how many times they are informed that you are his, they still crave a small bite. That cannot be blamed but, they won’t ever get an opportunity to. Only Razor is allowed such divinity, always wanting to leave a mark on your exposed skin every chance he gets.

─ Your new home is a shallow cave hidden within Wolvendome, decorated with basic furniture crafted in pine wood. There’s not anything fancy besides maybe a bed and a scruffy couch. Be free to add somethings if it is not to your taste. He doesn’t care about the appearance as much as the function. It’s a home meant to provide shelter at best, guests shouldn’t be expected and catered to... Unless you are referring to the future kids you will bring. Then yes, renovating would be a nice idea when the time arrives. As of now, this place will do just fine.

Oh? You’ve never heard of this?

─ But of course, children are a must! The beauty of life shines brilliantly between universes. Mother nature blessing him and his partner with liters of kids to care for is simply a huge honor. You two might be fairly young for the responsibility of children, just coming into your early twenties. Nevertheless, that doesn’t stop him from trying to knock you up. Even if a tiny ounce of cum seeps out, he will just make sure to give you thrice of much to make up for the loss. Can’t be too careful now. And to his benefit, you’ve already probably blacked out by the tenth round. His stamina does not falter, not when there’s a hole waiting to be ravaged.

08. Instinct

His untrimmed nails claw deeply onto your round hips as he burrows himself further into your tight walls. Thrusting in without restraint, losing himself in this immense pleasure he’s all too familiar with. It’s like your cunt is sucking him in, refusing to lose the vice grip hold until the insides are painted white - full of him. Full of untamed love.

You must want this. You have to.

A sweaty hand is smacked square onto your blubbering mouth to keep erotic sounds from slipping loose, muffling all your moans, whines, cries for mercy so no one else can hear these melodies. They are all his to horde and indulge.

But if that part were true, then why has Razor decided to take you here out of all places?

This is a public area, public. Anyone can freely roam in this territory for it belongs to no one, anyone can stumble upon this passionate affair by chance and the thought terrifies you down to the core. You would never show your face to the world ever again if that transpired, and Razor would’ve liked that result. 

Although, it’s not like you can prevent this from happening.

You’ve collapsed. Unable to stay balanced and secure on your bruised, sore knees, doing your best to stay conscious during this brutal session on your arms. Razor is ignorant to a fault. He’s so focused on pleasuring himself, using your body as an outlet for sinful desires, a way to let out all the pent up stress society has caused him over the past years. 

“[Name]…” he grunts to himself.

The thought of your stomach swollen with his kids give him all the more reason to impregnate you.

Venti, and the Kitty - Achew!

─ What was it… The Kätzleins? They’ve been around for a while, doing their own thing in Mondstadt like anyone else. Who knew there was another member of the feline family, one who only comes out of hiding when the moon resurfaces for you are nocturnal, and a tad anxious around lots of people. You are typically seen at Cat’s Tail, serving moderate drinks that can’t compare to Diona’s specialties but they’re smooth enough to kick off the night. Your stature is that of a child; short, small, and a baby face to pull it together. Nobody would guess that you were twenty two, but nobody takes the time to listen either which leaves you pouting all the more - adding fuel to these misconceptions.

─ Hanging out at the usual tavern seemed dull this night. There was a craving for something different, interesting, and he figures Cat’s Tail will do alright despite the unpleasant name. Apparently, the cocktails there are beyond spectacular. Suspiciously so. If that part turns out to be true, then sneezing all day long would be worth some fine quality alcohol - the best of the best. Maybe there will be some new regulars to get to know. And all in all, there are actually no cats in there besides.. cat hybrids. You’re the only one on shift, tending to a few customers - pulling a few cool tricks here and there when mixing cocktails left and right. The atmosphere here is much more vibrant and lively than Angel’s Share, leaving a strong taste on his tongue. He will be coming here more often.

Furthermore, what intrigues him particularly is the lack of allergies.

─ His face isn’t swollen, his throat hardly itches, and his nose isn’t running. He doesn’t feel like dying and that’s the most important part that will dictate your entire future. You’re the only cat he isn’t reacting negatively to so far. How crazy is that! This is a phenomenon that needs to be thoroughly researched, he needs to get to the very bottom of this discrepancy because you might be the answer to removing the damned barrier between him and felines. Venti would appreciate the help if you complied. Funny enough, that goal would soon change as he gets to know you.

Your innocence is an appealing factor of yours, having the desire to tear you up.

09. Corruption

Tonight, you are at Angel’s share, the competition. A surprise for Diluc. The bard was as nice to invite you for a couple of drinks, his treat, as a small thanks for your service. For everything, really. Business was starting to get really busy from the sudden rise in customers and you figured drinking with a buddy for the first time should recharge the batteries that died out.

Sounds like a blast.

“Wh.. What are you d-doing?”

Everything was spinning. The room is, his face is and it’s making you giggle uncontrollably to yourself like a giddy schoolgirl.

He’s made sure to not get hammered which wasn’t too hard. Your physique made things a breeze, two, three glasses of dandelion wine already has your vision blurring into the warm background, losing focus on what topic crossed your mind in an instance. It is clear that someone needs to take care of you. Else you’d fall into the wrong pair of hands, and no one wants that. Of course, you can count on Venti. He’s escorting you up the stairs like a gentleman would do, hand hovering your own as he leads you to a dreary room with a bed and some dust collecting. 

It hasn’t been used in a while, but the owner was as nice to let the two of you occupy that space. For free. 

How can he complain when you are at his mercy?

“Your body is starting to feel really hot, kitty. I don’t think you’d want to sweat in your sleep, right?” Venti chirps happily, “I’m doing you a favor. Have some trust in your friend.”

His reasoning had some sense. That, or you’re just really messed up to truly understand.

You’d stretch out your arms in a similar fashion as your cousin, yawning as he’d pull off the clothes that confined your beauty without any hesitation, leaving the cute undergarments untouched, unpicked. Assisting you, who stumbled across the floorboards entirely, getting the pretty oblivious cat settled in the surprisingly comfortable mattress.

Seems like you’d knock out the moment your head touches the pillows.

Oh, a mistake. He cannot wait any longer.

“Goodnight, I’ll be sure to wake you up once the sun rises. I promise.”

He’ll murmur suavely as his fingers slip hastily into your panties. 

Xiao, and a Hopeless Dog.

─ You are still human; a mere mortal in puppy clothing, a pathetic little thing he’d vow to protect like you are his only redemption. The power between you two is beyond imbalanced, but you do not seem to care as you are lost in your own stupid world, chasing after crystal flies and skittering squirrels for temporary entertainment. To think that Xiao would come to favor someone now makes him snicker, especially one who’s head is always in the clouds - dreaming over such moronic things. Is it human desires, or your own? Both are meaningless to him and will not change his stance because there is some sort of fondness for you and that, you will remain at his side until death tear you apart.

─ Looking after you is now a duty he holds with riveting impatience. Too much energy is being exerted, unsurprisingly, and he’s forced to be a saint for once - which he isn’t executing quite well... What he can say however with confidence is that his patience is being strengthened on the long run. Slightly, but surely.

— Most of the time you are confined in a home. There really isn’t a need to worry over you... right? No one knows where that location is besides Zhongli, naturally. Xiao is just paranoid. And stingy. To Hell you would be near a region where civilization currently thrives, he’d take you somewhere far, far away. A stranded island, an undiscovered one to be more specific. Albeit, given his perpetual duties, that would be a major issue. Do him a favor, won’t you, and just be an obedient little pet. There’s already so many things he has to worry about. 

10. Salvation

You were just playing.

It’s in your nature; to beg for attention, to be annoying as humanly possible as a sign of trust, a token of abundant affection for the owner. You’d often show fondness by playfully tugging on his shirt, trying to get him to join you on your efforts in messing with some unassuming individuals for entertainment. But they’re always harmless! Cute even might we add. They always share a laugh or two for the sudden mood lifter, patting your soft ears as an appreciation. 

That never fails to make you happy.

Praise! Yay!

On the other hand, Xiao is far from amused. 

Let’s be honest, when was he ever?

That ruse, or whatever nonsense you want to call it isn’t funny. Pursing his lips in disdain, scoffing for you to hurry up and finish what you originally came here for and to not chitter chatter.

You are wasting his time.

If it was such a peeve, he could just let you wander into towns on your own if he hated crowds that much... No. That’s forbidden. Who knows what could happen? You could get seriously injured... or perish if he isn’t too careful. 

So why did you decided that wandering off, alone, was a good idea. 

You’re bright. Full of vigorous hope, love, plenty affection - things that are absent in his life.

He hopes it’ll still remain after he’s done with you.

With his claw-like fingers swiftly clasping around your frail neck in a blinding fury, tightening, further restricting the airflow to your brain, you start seeing things that aren’t supposed to be there.

Xiao seethes, 

“I am going to ruin you.”

Xingqiu, and the Willing Puppy.

─ Your dog-like features are only a plus. What really has him sold is your domestic nature. His household has taken you in as another member of the affluent family, and as a result, Xingqiu has directed all of his attention onto you out of boredom. You’re completely dependent; can’t seem to amuse yourself or let roam alone without causing havoc in the hallways, always in need of someone to entertain you, shower you in all types of suffocating affection. To say the least, he has start to see you as a plaything, a pet right below his feet - one he can mess with and not suffer the consequences.

You will take it, it is your duty.

─ He still has his nice moments, don’t get this situation entirely wrong. They’re just so sparse which makes it all the more cherishing. You’re supposed to be suspicious when he’s forgiving. Question his intentions at least, raise an eyebrow or two in doubt... but you don't. Your tail wags delightfully in oblivion reveling in the rare praise - hearts beating rampantly in your eyes. If it isn’t obvious by now, you’re just too trusting… What is there to dislike?

─ His favorite thing to do is manipulate situations that makes you highly uncomfortable. Think of it as a huge help to his studies. When composing a fictional novel, there is still a need for it to be somewhat accurate - which is why such trouble requires lots of time and research. You’ll do good as the actor of his play. You always listen. As for the book(s) that is currently in the works, it’s probably best if you don’t figure out what the content contains.

11. Pet

You’re more quiet than usual on a walk through Liyue Harbor. Not the hyperactive little sport checking out every stall seen, chasing after the flock of poor birds looking for peace, drooling over the overwhelming scent of lotus crisps that wafts through the air. It’s uncanny in a sense. He can’t get used to you treading silently behind him like a lost pup in desperate need for its mother. 

This is not entertaining. Not at all.

Has Xingqiu finally managed to crawl under your skin? Are you rebelling for the first time ever because you are sick of his games? What has you acting like this?

And it’s not until someone tugs at his sleeve, interrupting these frustrating thoughts. Glancing towards his right to see what could possibly be the problem this time, assuming it to be another bothersome stranger asking about his family.

“Xingqiu... need to, I...” your grip weakens along with your voice, squeezing your thighs tight in order to prolong the urge.

“Ah...” 

So that’s what it was.

Doesn’t take much thinking to understand, even a hilichurl could tell what’s going on. The fact that you’d turn to him instead of excusing yourself and finding one on your own is fascinating. You were given no instructions for this, no protocols, no rules. Yet here you are glancing up at him in discomfort. In need of some sort of relief, direction.

Lovely.

“...Restroom.”

You’ll nod desperately, satisfied the message came across without having to explain. Your master is smart, you love him so, so much!

Hm... 

For making him overthink, maybe he should try something a little dubious.

Bending down slightly till your ears are of reach, he whispers things that’ll surely make you want to cower.

“I wonder what all these other people would think if they see you carelessly wet the floor. Disgusted...? Flustered, even. Should we test this out?”

You’re whimpering at his words, shaking your head no, no, no - how can he say such vulgar stuff like that so openly?

This is all too easy. 

Well, his puppy is too easy to play with.

“Jesting, jesting, my dear. Let’s head to a secluded area, shall we? I’ve been messing with you too long.” 

Lips pursed, you’d sigh in relief - a smile making an appearance, skipping to the destination Xingqiu leads you to - completely obvious to what he has in mind.

He’s not expecting you to use a washroom like any other person.

You’re a dog, you must learn to adapt to doing your business outside.

Zhongli, and the Spoiled Cat.

─ Aren’t you just asking to be taken care of? Those glistening, starry eyes, so ever interested in things that are unknown, faulty. Attracted to situations that only calls for trouble, it is merely an instinct of yours, a cat’s instinct. That is why you are in need of someone to keep you grounded, someone to keep you away from such dangers, and Zhongli is the perfect guardian, the only one who is able to take care of you. He’s able to coax you into his welcoming arms effortlessly, promising to offer you the entirety of this world if you’ll surrender, and become his. The propose is tempting enough for even a stray kitty like you to concave. Having a home to come to, plenty food and clean clothing, there is no reason for you to not accept his overwhelming generosity.

─ But after a few weeks of getting situated into his estate, really, all you do is lounge around in the living room near the warm fire-place, sprawled up along the sand-bearer wooden planks stretching your petite form with a small yawn. Sometimes you’re curl up along his comforting lap in the study, drifting to a peaceful slumber as he reads you another story with his soothing, velvet voice. Declaring this as your personal Heaven is an understatement. Dreamland is a more fitting name, things that’ll realistically never come true if you hadn’t bumped into him on one of your nightly walks alone a stony path, waiting for someone to take you away.

─ Looks like you’ve warmed up to this comfortable lifestyle, cute. But don’t be too hasty, there are still a list of complicated rules to be followed now that you are under his care. His house, his supervision, his guidelines. That is why you’ll listen wordlessly without protests. You’ve no power to. One of your favorite things to do is to bask under the sunlight, curl up in soft grass, feel the authentic warmth from the Sun. You can’t do this without him present. It’s not that there isn’t trust, he just doesn’t trust everything else around you. You’ll understand, won’t you? Rules are present for a reason; your existence is proof enough.

12. Difference Apparent

“I can’t... can’t take anymore... t-too much for me...”

Salty tears squeezed out from the corner of your eyes with your cute whimpers. The sheer size of his cock slowly forcing its way into you has your carefully trimmed claws digging into your tiny palms. It’s so painful, brutal, a length like his shouldn’t possibly be able to stuff itself in your tight little cunt no matter how good it may feel for him. You weren’t made for this. Cat girls weren’t made to be bred by their owners because of their smaller stature, but it doesn’t stop those very few from trying.

He is confident.

You were made for him, and you will take all of him.

“... A couple more inches, you’re almost there.” 

Zhongli’s gentle reassuring does but a dent on your worries. He’s not even half way in yet, determined to hit the back of your womb at the very least. One more push and surely you’ll begin to break, body and mind, but the thought of being ravished by the person you cherish most is very tempting... Especially when some part of you wants to become his completely.

He is someone you care deeply for, after all.

.. That is, until reality hits.

Wait, no no no- you’re panicking, it’s scribbled all over your face, there’s no way he can fit all of that inside. That’s not gonna work-

Trying to wiggle yourself out of this predicament, off of him, and not being able to because you’ve came undone so many times on his experienced fingers - because you are hindered with intense pleasure from earlier.

He notices the little escape attempt.

“How disappointing,” he murmurs lowly, large hands grabbing onto the curve of your hips possessively, pushing himself impossibly deeper making you choke further on your own cries.

It’s so uncomfortable.

You’re huffing, digging your nails into your hand to try and distract yourself from the dull pain that pulsates as your frail body tries to accommodate the sudden stretch, clenching his cock even tighter - making him groan lowly.

“Good girl... See, I knew you could do it. You just have to trust me, dear.”

That’s all you have to do in life.

His hands, ever so gentle, dives down to pet your hair forcing an instinctive purr out of your swollen throat. Telling you how amazing you feel, how good you’re taking him - anything that’ll get you to stop tensing up and to relax.

But… that fullness in your stomach, like you’re being impaled on a spear feels so strange. The more you breathed in the more you can feel him through your guts, leaving you to hold your breath.

Oh darling, he still has yet to move.

#yandere #yandere genshin impact #ch.kaeya #ch.razor #ch.venti #ch.xiao #ch.xingqiu #ch.zhongli #tw.nsfw #tw.dubcon #tw.master/pet dynamics #tw.breeding #tw.drinking #tw.choking #sub!reader #lord.hcs #timt! series

[nhebi]

sebastian (sdv) | rider! au | f!reader

synopsis : you come to Pelican Town to take over your late grandfather's farm and become a part-time assistant teacher with Penny to teach both Jas and Vincent. But, what will happen when you catch the attention from certain raven haired programmer? What kind of secret that he holds for you to find out?

warning : major spoiler, afab reader, mention of cigarette, fist fight, illegal trading, mention of weeds, dysfunctional family, drinking behavior

prologue

chapter i

©osanoya : all rights reserved. do not edit, modify, repost, translate, plagiarise, discredit or claim my works as your own.

#stardew valley #stardew valley fic #sebastian stardew #sebastian stardew valley #sebastian x reader #sebastian x farmer #sebastian x y/n #sebastian fluff #sebastian angst #sebastian smut #tw.cigarette #tw.illegal trade #tw.fish fight #tw.weed usage #tw.dysfunctional family #tw.drinking #vonnoeth fics

[charliemulgrave]

location: holy spirits

status: open ( @providencepeakstarters​ )

It was a busy night at the bar. Charlie had shown up with the aim of tucking himself away in the corner, hoping to avoid running into any of his students, but the lack of space made that impossible. Reluctant to leave without first having at least one drink, he managed to bag a seat at the bar and settled in. It had been a long week. He drained his whiskey in a matter of minutes, but when he moved to signal the bartender for another one he felt somebody knock into him slightly from behind.

“Hey, do you mind?” he said, turning to look at them. “Personal space here.”

#providence.starter #.openstarter #tw.drinking #tw.alcohol mention

[czurchy1x1]

Matthew had gone most of his life on the one concept of always keeping sex away from your feelings. He had done such a good job at it that he was now in his forties and could say with all confidence that he had never had a real relationship. Then Perrie happened. He gorgeous looks and then her even more beautiful personality. Sex with her wasn’t just sex, especially that last time and that scared him. So that was how he found himself on his couch, drunk in his feelings. Perrie had gone out with friends and it had been the first time he was by himself since. With another glass of Scotch in hand, he gulped it down as he stared up at the ceiling not knowing what was even real at this point.

@pezwardsaudere​

#tw.drinking #c:perrie.e

[croimilis]

If the World was Ending

title: if the world was ending

character: jake ‘hangman’ seresin x ex!reader (he calls them peach/peaches)

rating:  13+ 

words:  10k + 

themes: angst, hurt-comfort

warnings: hangmans an asshole (with good intentions), cursing, alcohol, drunkneness, crying, heartbreak, soft hangman,  discussions of depressive episode, minor snooping?

summary: “would you love me for the hell of it? all our fears would be irrelevant” 

Despite breaking up 5 years ago, you are the one person Jake would turn to if the world was ending, which it might be given he thought the only time he would see you again would be the end of the world. The worst part, he didn’t even mean to call you. Didn’t even know your cell number was still in service, or that you were in the same city as him and yet here you are, ushering him gently into your car and taking him home. 

a/n: this is part of the ‘fly me to the moon’ universe. parts of this are rushed and not great as i wanted to get it out, never the less, i hope you enjoy.

tags:  @xoxabs88xox​

Jake was absolutely fucked, the room was spinning and he could barely stand by himself and had to be supported by Coyote, who was currently helping him out of the bar. They were the last two standing from the group of Rooster’s groomsmen who had gone out for an unofficial bachelor party and Coyote only really stayed to make sure Hangman didn’t hurt himself or drown himself in his sorrows completely. 

Coyote leans his best friend against the brick wall of the bar and looks him up and down with a sigh. Hangman was usually so good at holding his liquor, was good at making sure he didn’t overdo it and yet here he was, as if he was a barely legal college student experiencing the freedom of legally drinking once again. He was a mess and Coyote didn’t know what to do with him.

Coyote crossed his arms and gave his friend a stern look, “Stay here.” He goes only a foot or so away to make a call, his eyes lingering on Jake to make sure he did as he was told. As the person on the other side of the phone answers with a soft hello, Coyote turns away for a few seconds. 

In that time, Jake clumsily fishes his phone out of his pocket and struggles to unlock it, entering the passcode in wrong twice before face id kicked in and it unlocked automatically. He smiled wistfully at the image on his home screen, it was years old but it was still one of his favourites that he transferred between phones.  In his inebriated state, he only wanted one person and he scrolled through his contacts until he reached the one he wanted in the ‘L’ section labelled as ‘love of my life’. 

He presses the call button, like he had done a million times before but unlike the times before it doesn’t ring out. Instead, after a few rings, there's an answer and a soft and muffled ‘hello?’ is spoken from the other side. Jake's eyes widened slightly and his head rolled back against the brick of the bar. He wasn’t expecting you to pick up, certainly wasn’t expecting to hear your voice again after 5 years and the sound made him dizzy.

Another ‘hello?’ comes through the line, this time followed by a gentle “Jake?” He smiles at the sound, having missed it all these years, and melts a little on the inside the same way he used to when you were his. “Miss ya peaches.” His words slur together and, combined with the southern twang of his accent now fully presenting itself, you struggle to understand what he’s saying, your eyebrows creasing together as you slowly sit up in your bed, 

“Why are you calling me at 3am?” Your voice is soft, but still holds a firmness in it that you usually used when you were cross at him. Despite the crossness in your tone, he still relished in the sound and closed his eyes to memorise your voice once again. A few seconds of silence roll by and Jake hears shuffling on your side, you’re moving to swing your legs off your bed, shoving your feet into the running shoes you always kept by your bed.

“Jake.” He hums in response, and you roll your eyes on the other side. You knew rightly that he was drunk beyond belief, it was the only time the cocky pilot was ever this quiet and not firing off some flirty remark. “Where are you?” 

His eyes look at the signboard outside the bar, the writing was blurry and unfocused and if only the goddamn thing would stop spinning he would be able to tell you for certain where he was, “The Fo…Frog and the…” He squints his eyes to see if that would help, it didn’t really, “meal..smart” 

Your eyebrows pinch together in confusion and you let out a small sigh, the gears in your mind grinding to try and make sense of what he was saying when it finally hit you, “You mean the Dog and the Metal Smith in San Diego?” 

“That’s the one.” You can hear the grin in his voice through the speaker and you just sigh as you lift yourself from your bed, grabbing an old jumper that was on your vanity as you walked past, “Stay there, I’m coming for you”. 

You hang up your phone and Hangman lets a goofy smile spread across his face, one that has Coyote concerned as he turns back to his friend, his own conversation over.  Jake looked like the cat that ate the canary the way his lips spread in a cheshire cat grin and so Coyote approached him apprehensively. 

“Hangman…” He places a hand on his friend's shoulder, leaning down slightly so he could look Jake’s slouched form in the eyes, “Phoenix is gonna be here in 15 to bring us home.” 

A giggle passes through Hangman’s lips and Coyote almost flinches back, it was a sound he hadn’t heard from Jake before. It was foreign and a far cry from the confident man he knew, more so verging on a sound made by a lovesick school girl when discussing their crush, and suddenly Coyote’s concern level rises. 

“Jake….dude are you okay?” Jake looks at Coyote, and he looks almost as love sick as he sounded, “(Y/N)’s coming to get me Javy”. 

Coyote lets out a small sigh, eyes trailing over his friend with sympathy. 5 years later and he still wasn’t over you. “(Y/N)’s not coming buddy.” 

Another giggle passes through Hangman’s lips as he thrusts his phone toward Coyote, the device still unlocked, and Coyote takes it from his hands with a questioning glance before he looks at it. It was on the recent call screen and there it was, “Love of my life….5:00”. Coyote still didn’t believe it. The number could have been reassigned to someone new and Hangman was probably just mumbling incoherent nonsense to some poor stranger on the other line. Coyote was going to break the news to Hangman, but one look at his friend's face and he stopped. He looked hopeful, almost childlike with glee, and Coyote couldn’t take that away from him. 

It had been obvious since Rooster had announced his engagement to Angel that something was off with Hangman, the other’s didn’t notice it but having known the Texan for so long Coyote noticed. Though he smiled and congratulated the couple, it didn’t really reach his eyes. Instead, there was a lingering sadness in his eyes and maybe a look of regret. And usually, Jake was the life of the party but the night of the announcement, and even tonight, Jake was quiet and reserved. Keeping to himself for most of the night, simply observing the rest of the pilots as they celebrated with eyes glazed over as though his mind was a million miles away.  

Coyote had his suspicions as to why, had managed to pull a small confession from the man after a few beers at his place, though it was like trying to pull teeth, in which Jake admitted to that it reminded him of the biggest mistake of his life. Coyote was then able to put the pieces together, he knew what Jake's biggest regret was, it was you. Well, not you as a person, not your relationship with him, god your relationship with him was probably the best thing that ever happened, what he regretted was leaving. 

Coyote let out a small sigh before leaning against the wall beside his friend, watching him from the corner of his eye as he simply stared up at the sky with a lovesick look and a goofy grin on his face. He was going to be heartbroken when he realises you weren’t actually coming. They stand for that for a little bit, Hangman simply staring up at the starless sky and Coyote watching him carefully to make sure he doesn’t tumble to the ground and hurt himself, or choke on his own vomit. 

The sound of a car pulling up causes Coyote to turn his eyes away from Jake for a few seconds to check if it was Phoenix who had pulled up, it shouldn’t have been because she had said she was going to be at least 15 minutes and it had only been about 10, and it isn’t. The car that pulls up is an old ford truck that Coyote instantly recognises from the bit of customised body work on the side of an apple tree with your family name through the bark. His eyes widen and his jaw goes slack as you climb out of the driver's side, having instantly spotted the inebriated blonde leaning against the wall.  

“(Y/N)” 

He tries, and fails, to hide the shock in his voice and his face as you give him a small smile. “Hey Coyote.”

He props himself up from the wall and gives you a hug, you were friends before everything went down and he missed you. “What are you doing here?” You return the hug and give him a small squeeze, you adored Coyote and had missed him as well. The two of you would frequently have wine nights together whenever he was in town while you and Jake were still together.

“I’ve come to take the cowboy home.” 

As you pull away from Coyote your eyes rake over Jake's figure slumped against the wall, he had yet to see you instead keeping his eyes on the night sky his mind somewhere other than the present moment. You had only seen Jake this drunk once before, it was at a frat party while you were in college (he had gotten some time away from the naval academy and had come to visit you) and he had got into a testosterone filled competition with one of the members and ended up doing a high number of mystery shots and a keg stand. The night ended with you dragging him back to your room at your sorority next door and Jake admitting to be in love with you. 

“Do you know where he lives?”

You look up at Coyote and shrugged your shoulders, “I don’t but I don’t live too far and was planning on bringing him to mine.”  Coyote nods slowly at your words, he had a small smile on his face and his eyes were soft. He was surprised you were here, mainly because he wasn’t convinced Jake had actually managed to get in contact with you but also because he knew Jake had broken your heart 5 years ago, your life had fallen apart because of the man and yet, here you were. You always were a caring soul, one that was prepared to drop everything for someone you loved and cared for no matter how long ago it was you loved them.

“It might be best to take him to his own place, that way he’s close to base if he gets called in suddenly, I can give you the address.” 

“Okay, let me get him into the truck first”

You approached Jake slowly, afraid to startle him with how drunk he is but he fails to notice you even as you stand directly in front of him. He was well and truly gone and you wondered if he would remember any of this in the morning. You reach out and gently touch his shoulder. 

“Jake?” Your voice is soft, again trying not to startle the man, and you could swear that the goofy smile he was wearing got bigger at the sound of your voice. Slowly his head dips forward from where it was leaning against the wall so that Jake is now looking at you.

“Peaches!” While your voice had been soft and quiet, Jake’s was loud and a little high-pitched as he called your name out in surprise, and you jump at it slightly since you weren’t expecting the volume. Jake clumsily pushes himself off the wall, standing to his full height while stumbling a little, and wraps his arms around your body to pull you into a tight hug. 

You let out a small grunt at the force he uses to pull you into him and though you wrap your arms around Jake, more so to steady the tall blonde than anything, you cringe at the smell. You were used to Jake smelling fresh, like clean linens and whatever aftershave or cologne he was wearing, but now he absolutely stunk of whiskey and cheap beer. You scrunch your nose up at the smell and Coyote chuckles at the sight, causing you to flip him off as you manage to pull back from Jake’s death grip. 

“Let’s get you home cowboy.” 

Jake hums and sways where he stands as you fully separate from him and take a step back expecting him to follow you, but he just stands there with the goofy, toothy grin still on his face as he watches you. You huff and cross your arms over your chest, looking over to Coyote for help, “Come on cowboy, I ain’t strong enough to carry ya.” 

Instead of replying, he just reaches his arms out to you wanting nothing more than to have you in them once again. You sigh again and Coyote lets out another chuckle, which gets a quick glare from you, but he steps forward and wraps his arms around his friend. “C’mon bud, let’s get you into the truck.” 

You mouth a quick ‘thank you’ to Coyote as you walk around and open the door of your truck as Jake stumbles behind you with the help of Coyote. “C’mon, in you get.”  

You step to the side of the door to allow Jake to climb in, which he struggles to do. He misses the step a few times, causing giggles to spill from his lips every time he misses and small ‘yes!’ to slip when he finally gets the step and manages to push himself into the truck. You affectionately roll your eyes at his antics and smile to yourself as you reach in and make sure his seatbelt is buckled. 

As you finish buckling him in, he reaches for your face and turns you toward him for a kiss but you swerve your head just in time so his lips land on your cheek instead. You close your eyes as you feel your heart clench at the action, and you hate yourself for it especially as you close the door and see the sad look in his eyes and pouting lips. But you have to ignore it, if you didn’t your resolve would break and you would be left heartbroken all over again. 

You join Coyote at the front of the car and lean against the hood with your arms crossed, matching his pose but your eyes are cast to the sky while his lingers on you. You sit in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the soft summer breeze and the presence of one another. You always felt safe with Coyote, like you could lay the very secrets of the universe at his feet and he wouldn’t tell a soul, his energy was calming. 

The quiet was broken by Coyote, who had been eying you up and down with his eyes lingering on the oversized jumper with a faded imprint of ‘Navy’ on your figure that obviously belonged to Jake at one point in time.

“I can’t believe you came.” You shifted from looking towards the sky to looking toward the ground as you let out a small sigh before looking up at Coyote. 

“Neither can I.” 

“Why did you?” 

You sigh once again, something you seem to be doing a lot tonight, and shrug your shoulders as you chew on your bottom lip. You didn’t even know why you came yourself, for all intents and purposes you should absolutely despise Jake Seresin. Should hate him with your entire being. Yet, you can’t. Something inside of you just refuses to let you hate him, probably that stupid part of your heart and mind that still clings onto the love you had for him. 

“I don’t know.” 

Coyote doesn’t question you further and the two of you fall into silence once again, one that Coyote once again breaks as he glances back at your car. “Can’t believe you're still driving this thing.” 

You snort and smile up at him, “Please, as if I was gonna let him into my jag like this.” 

Coyote lets out a low whistle as he raises an eyebrow, “A jag? Damn girl, have you gone all upper class on us?” You roll your eyes and push at his shoulder with a laugh. You had genuinely missed Coyote, missed the banter with him.

“How ya getting home, Javy?” 

“A friend, Phoenix..er.. Natasha is coming to get me.” 

You nod your head, a contentment settling inside you knowing that Javy was going to be safe seeing as your truck only fit you and Jake into it. Speaking off, you glance back into the car and see that Jake had his head thrown back against the headrest with his eyes closed. He looked like he was sleeping and part of you felt relieved that you wouldn’t have to try and converse with the drunk Texan while you brought him home. 

“Speaking off, here she is.” 

You look back ahead of you, seeing a brunette step out of a car with a bit of a sour look on her face, probably from being woken up at such an unreasonable hour to come pick up her idiot friends. Coyote turns to you as she approaches, telling you Jake's address and giving you a tight hug that you gladly return and whispering a quiet ‘take care of him’ as he pulls away. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll uh… I’ll stay the night. Make sure he doesn’t choke to death in his sleep, y’know.” Coyote chuckles at your comment and places a quick kiss to your forehead as you round him and head to the driver side door, hearing the brunette grumpily ask who you and why you have Jake in your van, smiling slightly as Javy simply says your an old friend before the conversation fades out as you close the door. 

---

For the most part, the drive back to Jake's place is relatively quiet. He had, in fact, fallen asleep in the five minutes you stood with Coyote and waited for his ride to arrive. The only sound is the rumbling of your engine alongside the soft snores and grumbling that fall from Jake’s lips until a rough speed ramp jolts him awake. 

Waking with a start, Jakes head whips from side to side as he tries to figure out where he was, if only the world around him would stop spinning for two seconds. He groans loudly, head falling forward as he closes his eyes to stop the spinning and the nausea starting to creep its way through his body.

“Sorry.” Your voice is gentle as you glance at him from the side of your eye, concern falling into place on your face as you watch the aviator try and right himself. Another small groan falls from Jake’s lips in response as he lifts his palms and digs them into his eyes, rubbing gently at them in a desperate attempt to prevent the spinning from happening again once he opens his eyes. 

“Here” You had reached down into the console beside you and lifted a bottle of water that you had grabbed from your fridge as you rushed out the door, the bottle was slightly slippery with the condensation that covered it. Jake's eyes opened, and though the world had stopped spinning like he was on a carousel it swayed gently and he was still seeing double, something that was evident as he reached for the bottle of water and missed. 

After a few tries, in which his face scrunches up in concentration, he finally gets it and gives a small mumbled ‘thank you’. You smile to yourself, biting down on your lip to suppress the giggle that was bubbling its way to the surface slowly, which became even more difficult as Jake struggled to open the bottle in his hands. 

Finally a small giggle slipped past your lips and Jake's look of concentration finally broke as he smiled at the sound, you always had the most beautiful laugh and he was so happy he got to hear it again in person. In the time since you’re break up, on nights he couldn’t sleep, he would watch old videos he had taken of you just to hear your laugh after he told some stupid joke. It was during the nights that Jake missed you the most, when he was at his most vulnerable and the adrenaline from the day faded, leaving him with little to distract him from his thoughts. 

Which was how he found himself with a new woman in his bed almost every night, his reputation as a playboy developing out of a habit of not wanting to be alone. Of wanting something, or someone there to distract him. But even then it didn’t help, when the fun was over and the women were asleep his mind still drifted, memories of you at the forefront of every thought and how no one would ever compare to you. 

Jake had regretted breaking up with you every day of his life since he left, but Jake Seresin was nothing if not a proud man and refused to acknowledge the regret, instead burying it so deep inside himself that he came of as callous or cruel whenever someone mentioned your name and he simply dismissed it, moving the conversation on in such a manner that it made it seem like he regretted the relationship itself, though that was such a far cry from the truth. Each day he craved and yearned for you, but he was too proud to admit it. 

Too proud to admit he had made a mistake. Too proud to let anyone know that every night he lay awake and thought about having you in his arms once again, thinking about what would have happened if he had stayed. Would you have settled down by now? Would you be living the picket-fence dream that you have had since you were a child? You and him and a couple of little rugrats running around one of your family farms? He imagined it all in those sleepless nights, how much different life would have been and how much happier he could have been if he had just stayed. 

Jake says nothing as he finally manages to unscrew the lid of the water bottle and downs the entire bottle, it doesn’t sober him up completely but it makes the room stop spinning a little and it settles the nausea climbing up his throat. He wants to speak, wants to say anything just to have a conversation with you but a little voice in the back of his mind tells him he’s better staying quiet. Better not ruining a moment he may never experience again. Better off just basking in your presence in the car next to him. 

The silence between the two of you isn’t awkward like one would expect, it’s calm and serene as if you were simply two friends, maybe two lovers on a midnight drive just watching the lights of San Diego whizz by as you drive. But it had been a long time since the two of your were lovers, an even longer time since you were just friends, and a voice in the back of your mind reminds you not to get comfortable that when morning comes you would leave before he ever wakes up and that he probably won’t even remember anything, so there was no point in trying, no matter how desperately your heart was screaming at you that this was your chance to rekindle the love you once had for Jake. The love you truthfully still had for him if you were to be honest with yourself, but you were rarely honest with yourself when it came to your emotions. It was hard to be after locking them away for so long.

You arrive in Fightertown quite quickly, the streets of San Diego almost completely empty and letting you drive without having to stop, and you’re quick to follow street signs until you reach the street Coyote told you slowing down the car and looking at the house numbers as you drove past to make sure you were stopping at the right one. Though, you ended up not needing to use the numbers recognizing Jake’s pride and joy sitting in the driveway, the same old truck he got in high school that he meticulously maintained to this very day. 

You smile to yourself, pulling into the space behind it before turning to Jake, who was already staring at you with a small smile on his face and a wistful look in his eyes. It was a look you were all too familiar with, one you wore yourself countless times whenever anyone brought Jake up or when you visited home and you passed by Jake’s family ranch, his parents always wanted to see you but you always claimed you were busy.

It would have broken your heart to see them, they had been like family to you growing up and even more so when you and Jake got together with his mom and nana always insisting that they knew you and their Jake were gonna get married one day.  You had seen them once since the breakup, at your brother's wedding a year after you broke up and they insisted that their Jakey was still in love with you, that he always wrote to them and always always asked about you and how you were doing but that just tore your heart to shreds again after you had just started to piece it back together again. So you hadn't seen them since, it was selfish and you knew that, knew they missed you because your momma always let you know that they were asking about you and when you were gonna come see them, but you couldn’t put yourself through that pain again. 

You’re shaken from your thoughts by Jake's soft voice calling out the all too familiar nickname he had given you in high school, “Peaches?” You let out a shaky breath and blink away the tears starting to form your eyes as Jake reaches out to wipe them away before they fall, and gods do you wanna reach over and pull him into you. 

Hold him tight to your chest and never let him go again, kiss him again and again until your lips are totally and completely bruised because even drunk out of his mind he was still the most handsome man you had ever seen and his hands on your cheeks almost burned from the heat radiating of them and the blush quickly rushing over your cheeks. 

It was actually the first time he had really touched you since you met him at the bar, had fleetingly touched you to try and kiss you when you buckled him in but this was different. This was tender and soft as he wiped at your lash line as tears continued to fill your eyes despite your best attempts to keep them down. It reminded you of all the times Jake had held you while you went through law school with every breakdown and exam and rejection. It reminded you of when he loved you and that thought almost ripped your heart out because he didn’t love you, not anymore. He made that clear the day that he left.  

Jerking your head away from his hands, you rub at your eyes as you quickly climb out of your truck and take a few deep breaths before making your way over to Jakes to open the door, prepared to help him out but he manages by himself, only stumbling slightly as he starts towards his door. You were avoiding looking at him, so you miss the frown that has settled on his face, miss the heartbreak in his eyes at the fact that you had pulled away from him.  

You close the door to the jeep, locking it as you walk towards Jake who is fighting with his front door, trying and failing to insert the key into the door. The frown that was on his face had been replaced by a look of frustration with his eyebrows knitted together revealing the furrows that had formed on his forehead over time. Gently you reach out, taking the key from him and insert into the door and turning until you feel it unlock. You open the door and step back, letting Jake step into his home with you following behind and slipping your shoes off at the door. 

“Okay cowboy, let’s get you to bed.” You watch as Jake stumbles about a little, leaning against the walls for support as he slowly makes his way through the halls of his home with you following behind to make sure he didn’t truly fall and injure himself. After about a 5 minute struggle of stumbling and having to stop every second for Jake to lean against the wall to gain his bearings, you finally make it to his room where he flops down on the bed face first. 

You let out a small sigh and poke him on the back a few times, “C’mon you, you can’t sleep in your jeans.” With his face buried into the blanket, Jakes words are muffled and you can’t quite make them out but you were sure he was arguing with you so you just turn away from him and scan the room looking for a dresser. When your eyes land on them, you walk over and begin rifling through them to find a set of sweats and a t-shirt that he could throw on. 

You quickly find a shirt and move onto the last drawer of the dresser, as you pull it out you notice a photo wedged in between all the sweat pants in the drawer (seriously why did one man need so many sweatpants?). Part of you wants to ignore it but another part is filled to the brim with curiosity and you have an internal battle with yourself as to whether or not you should reach in and have a look. 

Ultimately your curiosity wins out and you finally realise why the saying is curiosity killed the cat, the photo is of you and Jake a week before your breakup at your sister's wedding. You looking stunning in your bridesmaid dress and Jake handsome as ever in his fresh pressed suit but where Jake would usually be wearing his cowboy hat, you had it on instead and you both had the widest grins on your face. Your eyes scanned the photo with a sombre smile as your heart constricts as what should have been one of the best weeks of your life, celebrating your sister and her new husband, quickly became your worst. 

Quickly, you shove the photo back into its place and pull out a pair of sweats while wiping the tears from your eyes. With sweats and shirt in hand you walk back over to the bed and poke Jake in the back once again, “I’m going to get you some water and advil for the morning. You better be changed by the time I get back.”  

The tone of your voice is one you usually reserve for clients, or your niece and nephew when you have to be strict with them, its one that demands respect and obedience and Jake lifts his head just enough for you to head a slurred “yes ma’am” pass his lips. You nod your head at the response and leave the room, giving Jake privacy to get changed, and head to the kitchen you passed on the way in. 

It was a mess, takeout wrappers were lying all over the counter and there were empty beer bottles on the small island, dishes were piled up everywhere and it shocked you. Jake was a clean man, the navy had drilled a certain level of cleanliness into him and even before that you knew his momma had drilled it into him. 

You quickly shake the shock out of your system with a shake of your head, it was not your problem. With a quick look through the various cupboards you find a clean glass and fill it almost all the way to the top with water, and quickly find a small drawer full of various medicine including advil which you pop 2 out of the packaging. 

Once you have everything you need, you make your way back to the bedroom and see Jake has managed to get himself out of his clothes but was struggling to get his sweats on, hopping about on one leg as he struggled to get the second leg in. You cock your head to the side slightly, looking at him with an amused smile as he continues to hop around for a few seconds before finally managing to get both legs into the sweats and pulling them onto his hips. Which you were glad for, because you were not prepared to help him get dressed.  

Jake plops himself back into bed, this time on his back, as you place the water and advil beside his alarm clock, making sure to keep your back to Jake as you did not want to see that lovestruck look he seemed to have since you picked him up. You also knew that if you turned round and acknowledge him, he would try and convince you to get into bed with him. To stay the night cuddled up in his arms, and while you missed cuddling up with Jake, this was not the time or place for you to do that. No, you were gonna stay on the sofa and leave in the morning. 

Quickly you turn away from Jake and leave his room, missing the pout on his lips and the way his hands reach out to you for a hug, closing the door behind you just enough that you couldn’t see him but would be able to hear him if he were to fall during the night. With a sigh, you settle down onto the couch for the night, not needing a blanket as the June heat continues into the night. Eventually, after hours of staring at Jake's ceiling you fall asleep to thoughts of how much you missed the blonde. 

---

With a groan, Jake slowly blinks awake. The small amount of light that filtered through his blackout curtains was proving to be too bright as it caused a surge of pain through his head. Which, by the way, felt like there was someone was power drilling into it. Slowly, so as to not provoke his hangover any further, Jake sits himself up in bed with his back against the headboard as he reaches to rub up at his eyes and search his memories for how the hell he got home last night.

Truly he couldn’t remember much after the 4th shot he had taken with Fanboy and Payback, which had been after god knows how many beers and at least 3 whiskeys on the rocks, he could vaguely remember Coyote helping him out the door about 2 hours after the shot, it had been his last drink with Coyote swapping out anything he ordered with a water, but Jake had been none the wiser meaning he was slightly more sober when Coyote was helping him, though his memories were still fuzzy. 

He could remember calling someone, the screen of his phone fuzzy in his memory and the conversation that was had on it completely gone from his mind. He remembered a truck with an apple tree on it and a figure with (texture) (colour) hair, it was weird, he was almost certain it had been you but it most definitely could not have been. 

You weren’t even in San Diego and even if you were, he was sure the number he had for you had been disconnected as he had tried phoning you multiple times since the breakup.  It must have been Phoenix who had got him, though that didn’t seem right when he thought it over. 

Finally pulling his hands away from his eyes, Jake looks to his bedside locker to take in the time and he groans as the digital clock reads 14:00. God he had slept late, the first time since he was a kid, having grown up on the family ranch Jake was always up at 6am almost every morning since he was 10 years old and could go out and help his dad, a habitat which came in handy when adjusting to the military schedule. 

Eyes moving past the clock, Jake clocks a bottle of water and two advil sitting beside it, which didn’t exactly scream Phoenix to him. The girl would relish in the fact that Jake was massively hungover, so maybe Coyote had left it for him. Jake quickly takes the pain killers and downs the whole bottle of water, sitting for a minute with his eyes closed and leaning against the headboard to let the medicine start to take effect. 

Though he was trying to stay in bed until the medicine took effect, the sound of movement in his kitchen puts him on alert. Who would be in his home? Coyote? No, Coyote would have texted him that he was coming over. Rooster? Nah, he was 100% sleeping off his own hangover or spending the day with Angel. 

Gently, Jake slips from the bed and for the first time he notices he’s been changed into a pair of black sweats and an old t-shirt and he scrunches his eyebrows in confusion. He didn’t remember getting changed, still trying to fight to gain the memories of how he got home, and so he hoped that he did it himself not wanting to be embarrassed to find one of his friends had to strip him down out of his jeans and shirt.  

Moving on from his confusion, Jake slowly makes his way out of his room, trying his best to be quiet so as to not spook whoever was moving about the kitchen. As he steps into the kitchen, Jake comes to a standstill and he begins to think he was still drunk or maybe he was high, or just hallucinating due to a combination of sleep deprivation and his hangover. Because here you are, flitting about his kitchen, which was definitely cleaner than when he left the night before.

As you turn towards Jake, you jump and place a hand over your heart to try and stop the rapid beating because, despite it being his apartment, you were not expecting him to be standing behind you looking like he had seen a ghost. 

“Fucking christ Jake!” The shock of the scare finally settles, though the beating of your heart doesn’t. If anything it increased under the intensity of Jake's gaze. It had been a long time since anyone had made your heart beat like this, with such intensity and strength that it felt like it could break your ribs and rip itself out of your chest. In fact, there was only ever one person that made your heart beat like that and he was standing in front of you.  

From the look of confusion on Jake's face you gather that he didn’t remember much of last night, didn’t remember calling you or you picking him up to bring him home and you couldn’t really blame him for not remembering with the amount he had drank, according to the messages you had exchanged with Coyote on your old cell. 

Jake stares at you, his hangover pushed to the back of his mind, leaning against the counter of his kitchen with your arms crossed against your chest and your eyes cast to the ground, avoiding looking at Jake. Jake thought he would never see you again, that you had disappeared from his life forever when you broke up five years ago but here you are. What shocked him even more was the fact that it was you last night, you had come and picked him up and made sure he had gotten home safely, looked like you had stayed the night as well if the dishevelled sofa was any indication. Probably to make sure nothing happened to him in his sleep.  

“You came?” 

You finally look up at Jake, a soft smile on your face and he could melt into the ground at the softness in your eyes. You should hate him, should absolutely despise him, he wouldn’t blame you. He knows he gave you a million and one reasons too when he left, when he broke your heart and left you crying in the corner booth of the cafe. You should hate him, he broke your heart into a million pieces and left the country like a coward while you had to stay in your shared apartment, with your shared friends, in a city you saw yourself settling down with him in and piece yourself back together by yourself. He hated himself for that. 

---

He had asked you to meet him in the little café that was a 20 minute walk from your old highschool that had been opened by one of your highschool friends, you had promised to always drop in when you were in town and had been there quite a few times already since arriving only a week earlier. But he hadn’t been in it since that day, he was sure he would have hot coffee thrown in his face if he dared show his face. 

As usual, the two of you were nestled into the booth in the furthest corner of the cafe, just hidden enough that nobody could see the two of you but you could still see everybody bustling about. It was the perfect spot for people watching, which you usually did, pointing out people you once knew and discussing the latest in their lives (whether or not any of it was true was beside the point), but that day was different. Jake held a tension in his body, one you hadn’t seen before. One that quite frequently scared you, it put you on edge as if one wrong word and Jake would explode. It was like he was teetering on the edge. 

The silence was stiff and thick with the same tension Jake held in his body, it felt suffocating and the air around you felt like it was compressing your chest. Until it was shattered and suddenly it wasn’t the air stopping you from breathing properly but panic as Jake uttered the words you never wanted to hear. 

“I think we should break up.” 

You drop your cup on the table, thankfully it was nearly empty so there wasn’t much of a splash back as the ceramic collided with the table and shattered into thousands of pieces on the table. You were sure that if someone looked at your heart at the very moment, it would be in a similar state. Shattered beyond repair. 

“W-w-what?” You can hardly hear your own voice from the way your heart is thundering in your ears, can barely see the ceramic pieces that have fallen onto your lap as the tears begin to fill your lash line and threaten to ruin your mascara.  

You certainly can’t see the twitch of Jake's jaw and how his eyes are cast out the window of the café avoiding looking at you, afraid that if he did he wouldn’t be able to do this. You don’t see the way he picks at his nail beds or how his adam’s ` apple bobs as he tries to keep his composure and convince himself that this was for the best, that its better for you if he was out of your life. If he broke your heart so you would never think of him again, so you could let him go. 

You want to turn to face him, want to look into his eyes as he does this. But you can’t, your eyes are glued to the space in front of you, pupils wide and mouth open in shock. “I-is there someone else?” The thought absolutely destroyed you, that Jake was cheating on you that he found someone else. You close your eyes so tight that it hurts at the thought, preparing for the impact that yes there was someone else. But what came was so so much worse. 

“There’s no one else. I just don’t love you anymore.” A sob racks through your body and pushes through your lips as the tears that had gathered in your eyes finally springing free and streaking down your face rapidly. Jake closes his eyes at the sound and clenches his fists, each sob you let out breaking his resolve. He needed out. Needed to go before he fully broke. It was better this way. 

So he does. He gets up from the booth and leaves the cafe, not looking back at your shaking form as your friend approached having heard the shattering of the ceramic. It was better this way. Jake would rather you hate him for the rest of your life than you be left heartbroken because he was never coming home. 

---

“You called” 

Your voice is soft as you stop in front of him, your arms still crossed against your chest, and you look up at him through your eyelashes. Jake’s are filled with shock, as if he can’t believe you’re really standing in front of him. 

“Why?”

“I guess I’m just a sucker for torturing myself.” 

Jake wants to reach for you, to pull you into him and hold you for the first time in 5 years. Wants to wrap his arms around you and never let you go again. But he doesn’t, instead he stays glued to the spot, mouth opening and closing as he tries to form some kind of coherent thought or sentence. 

“H-How?” Jake mentally slaps himself, of course he knew how he had phoned you. But, the number he had for you was disconnected. He knew this because he sent you message after message only for them to not be delivered and he had called for it to go straight to voicemail, he shouldn’t have been able to reach you. 

“I broke my phone and had to pull out my old phone while it’s getting repaired. It was pure luck that it happened now.” 

Jake feels himself nodding along dumly, that made sense, if you had changed phones and left the other one to die and only be used as a backup then of course none of his messages went through, of course none of his calls went through. Jake clears his throat, the ability to think and speak finally returning to him as the shock of seeing you finally settles. 

“What are you still doing here?” 

You shrug your shoulders gently, eyes moving around the now spotless kitchen and the tidy living room, “Wanted to make sure you were okay. That you didn’t choke on your own tongue or anything. I woke up at about 11ish and was going to go home, but I…I couldn’t make myself do it. Was still worried about you so I kept myself busy as you can probably see.”

Jake's eyes move over the kitchen, you always had been an anxious cleaner and if the cleanliness of his kitchen was any indication you were plenty nervous. Though he wasn’t sure if you were anxious about being around him or because you were concerned for his well being.

“I should go now though, I have client meetings later.” 

You go to move around Jake, but he follows your movements and holds his hands up in front of him to stop you. 

“Let me get us lunch as a thank you for looking after me.”

You really shouldn’t, should get going so you can shower and get changed for heading into the office. Should leave and never look back. Shouldn’t let Jake Seresin back into your life. And yet, you just nod your head and tell him “okay”. 

 ---

You sit in a semi awkward silence as you wait for the lunch to arrive, the air is thick with tension and unanswered questions. Jake had a million and one he wanted to ask you about your life, about how much had changed in the past 5 years, about your family, about everything and anything under the sun just to talk to you. You had one question and one question only. 

“Why did you do it?” 

Your voice is soft as you play with the ends of your (Jake's) jumper, eyes cast down to look at what your hands were doing rather than what Jake was doing. 

“Do what?”  You can hear the genuine confusion in his voice and can imagine the way his eyebrows would be all scrunched up as he thought about all the things he did. 

“Tell me you didn’t love me anymore.” 

“It wasn’t true.” Your eyes snap to Jake, watching as he picks at his nail bed and avoids looking at you, and you scrunch your eyebrows up in confusion. “What?”

“It wasn’t true. What I said that day.” Jake clears his throat as the words get caught, “I-I lied. I thought it would be easier.” 

You can feel anger rising in you now, disbelief settling in as you raise your eyebrows at Jake. “Fucking easier?” Jake flinches at the harshness in your voice, sinking back against his sofa, as you stand and cross your arms over your chest, scoffing at his comment that it was easier.  

“You broke me Jake. I was depressed for months, had to take time off work because I just could not function enough to get myself out of bed. Desi and Cori were so concerned about me that they alternated staying with me because they were scared for my well being. I stopped eating and ended up in hospital. You think it was fucking easier to tell me you didn’t love me?” 

Jake looks up at you shocked, eyes wide and mouth hanging open slightly, he didn’t realise how much you suffered when he broke up. You were always so strong that he expected you to pick yourself up and go on with life, never realising just how broken he had made you. He gulps down his shock, instead opting to finally tell you the truth as to why he left. 

“I thought it would be easier for you to hate me. I watched wives and partners destroyed with the news that their husbands weren’t coming home and I was being sent away on a mission where there was no guarantee that I would come home. I didn’t want that for you. I didn’t want you to have to bury me.” 

 The anger inside you fades away slowly as you take in his words. He didn’t want you to bury him. You had never thought of that, sure you worried when he went on missions but you stressed about his safety but never once did you consider that he might not come home. Maybe that was idealistic of you, maybe some part of you refused to acknowledge the fact that Jake might not come home to keep you safe, to protect your heart. 

But still a part of the anger remains as you grit your teeth together, “That was not your decision to make Seresin.” 

Jake flinches at your use of his last name and sighs lightly and rubs at his face lightly, “I know I know…I…” He lets out a sigh and reaches out to take your hands into his, rubbing his fingers over his knuckles. “I was stupid and naïve. I thought it would be easier for us both if I just left. You could hate me for the rest of time and I would eventually get over you.” 

Your gaze is harsh, eyes narrowed into a small glare that was slowly softening at every word. 

“But god are you hard to get over, I still think of you…Like every day. I think, hey (Y/N) would love this when I see something I know you’d like. I think about telling you about my day, about how you’re doing and if you ever got that promotion. I dream about settling down with you. About taking over my farm or the orchard with you. About having a family with you. When I’m flying, I think about you. About your smile, about how your eyes light up when you’re talking about something you're passionate about. It grounds me, keeps me level headed because some part of my mind is still telling me I need to make it back alive…that I need to make it back to you.” 

Tears start to gather in your eyes at the confession, and you bite down on your lip as you take a second to compose your own thoughts. You thought about him too, all the time, even when you shouldn’t be. 

“It was stupid.” Jake chuckles at your bluntness but as he looks into your eyes he sees no malice or cruelty behind the words, the glare you previously wore not gone from your gaze. Instead there was a lingering sadness, a pain that seeped into his bones as you stared at him. 

“And it was mean and callous and cruel, and I should hate you Jake Serein. With every fibre in my body I should despise you. But…I…I just can’t.” You let out a shaky breath, a few tears now falling from your eyes, “God I wish I could hate you. It would make my life so much easier, would make it so much easier to just move on with my life. But…but part of me still loves you. Still wants you. Still thinks about you, every goddamn day.” 

Jake stands, he wants to pull you into him and kiss you until the sun goes down and he would have, had the front door not gone with the delivery driver standing outside with your lunch. Instead, Jake hangs his head and lets out a sigh before lifting your hand to his and pressing a soft kiss to the back of it. 

---

Lunch is quickly eaten and, needing some air, you suggest going for a walk in the neighbourhood after you cancelled all your afternoon appointments citing you were feeling unwell and didn’t want to pass it on, as partner no one really questioned you. The walk is nice and you feel nostalgic. Though the warning bells are going off in your mind telling you to walk away, that nothing good can come out of this. That, despite the fact you had forgiven Jake for what happened, you didn’t know if you were ready for this again. But those warning bells are drowned out by the sound of your beating heart rushing in your ears, encouraging you to give in to your desires for once, to give in to the feeling of once again being loved by Jake. 

You walk for hours, the confessions earlier in the day opening you up to talking like old friends would, the vulnerability you both showed letting you open up to once another once again. Catching up on the intricacies of each others lives that you had missed, you let Jake know you were now an aunt to a darling little niece called Adeline and a menace of a nephew Carson who wanted nothing more than to help his mom and dad in the orchard and loved to climb trees to do this, almost giving your sister a heart attack in the process, and Jake lets you know that his baby sister is engaged to her high school sweetheart who was now teaching at the school with a wedding due in September time so they avoid the scorching summer heats. 

You tell him about making partner at your firm and being relocated to run the San Diego office and he is so so proud of you and how far you’ve come. He tells you all about the dagger squad and how much he’s loving being in San Diego but misses home and can’t wait to get home in a few weeks time for the wedding, which he has a plus one for by the way. 

It’s like old times, you fall into the conversation with such ease it was like you were never separated. Like you were never angry at him. 

By the time sunset arrives, you and Jake are standing side by side on the beach admiring the changing of colours in the sky when suddenly the colours of the sky are blocked out by the figure of the tall blonde. Both your confessions from earlier still hang in the air, seeing as you were interrupted by the delivery driver at the door and you avoided the conversation your entire walk, finding something new to talk about whenever a silence fell between the two of you to avoid it coming. 

Because, frankly, you were terrified. It had been such a long time since you had let yourself be so emotionally vulnerable and that was scary, you were scared of Jake was going to react, despite practically ripping his heart out and placing it in your hands himself.  

You raise an eyebrow as your heart begins to pound in your heart, Jake looked serious and his adam’s apple bobbed in his throat as he tried to think of what he wanted to say, didn’t know how much more he could say after spilling his heart out. 

“Can we- can we try again?” Though that wasn’t exactly the words Jake wanted, the words having been already spoken earlier, his voice is soft as he reaches out to you, hand moving gently up your neck to cup your jaw with his thumb rubbing soft circles on your cheeks. You lean into the touch, against your better judgement, and let your eyes flutter close your own hands reaching out to touch Jake.  

You wanted to, god did you want to give Jake another chance, but again the alarm bells were firing of in your head and this time they were hard to ignore. They were reminding you that Jake was still enlisted, he could be shipped off again to god knows where and you wouldn’t be able to follow, he might not come home, he might not come home and you didn’t know if you could survive that. 

“I’m scared Jake.” You let out a shuddering breath, eyes opening to look into Jake’s. There was nothing but gentleness and love reflected back at you, and god how you missed looking into his eyes. Missed the tender moments where you would just hold one another and bask in each other’s presence, enjoying gentle caresses and fleeting touches used to ground one another. “I…can’t…I can’t do that again. I can’t go back to that dark place” Your eyes fall to where your hands are placed on Jakes chest, the temptation to draw them back and retreat flowing through your mind. 

Your voice is rough and breaking as your eyes gloss over with tears at the thought of him breaking your heart again, at the thought of him leaving, of him dying, and he couldn’t blame your mistrust. Couldn’t blame your fear. A second hand is quickly up and cupping your jaw, fingers now wiping away the tears forming in your eyes. 

“You won’t have to. I’m permanently stationed at top gun, training as part of the dagger squad and instructing.” You sniffle a little and look back up at Jakes face, “And if it means getting to be with you again I will give up dagger squad. I’ll go to instructing full time. I’ll stop flying.” 

You roll your eyes at him, “You could never give up flying Jake, it’s your life.” 

“I would give it up for you (Y/N).” You can see the sincerity in his eyes, the truthfulness there. He would genuinely give up flying if you asked him, and though you never would, knowing he was that dedicated to having you back ebbed your fears a little, though they were never fully away. It would take a while for that to happen. But you could feel your resolve break, every fibre in your being that was screaming for you to say no drowned out by the beating of your heart that was screaming at you to say yes. 

“Okay. One date.” 

Jake’s lips stretch into a cheshire cat grin and you roll your eyes at him once again, shoving him gently away from your body, “One Seresin, and we’ll see where we go from there.” 

“Oh Peaches, one date is all I need.”  

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