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not-close-to-straight · 4 years

Text

Lost and Found (Twelve)

*dramatic music* and also RhodeyTony softness because Besties deserve it.

MASTERLIST HERE

**************

“Rhodey.” Tony paused when he came into the lab and found the colonel sprawled out across the couch, phone in one hand and a clearly stolen-from- Tony’s-desk bag of chips in the other. “Hey. I didn’t know you were coming by.”

“Didn’t know I had to announce when I was coming by, thought there was an open door policy in this place.” Rhodey tipped the bag up into his mouth and crunched loudly at the crumbs, remained silent while Tony gave the lab a quick once over, and then told him, “Don’t worry. JARVIS hid everything away when I opened the doors, I didn’t see any of your super secret boy band stuff.”

Tony made an attempt to not look so relieved, but Rhodey caught it anyway and rolled his eyes. “Damn Tones, used to be you didn’t keep anything from me. You can trust me, you know. Just tell me you’re getting N’Sync back together and that’s why all the cabinets over there now have locks on them and I’ll quit bugging you about it.”

“N’Sync?” Tony rummaged through his desk until he found an unopened un-pilfered bag of chips and tossed it at Rhodey, dropped down onto the couch and scooted close to his best friend. “You know damn well I’m a Backstreet Boy. N’Sync. More like N’Wack.”

“Yeah, that joke wasn’t funny when you told it six years ago and it’s not funny now.” The colonel popped the new bag of chips and offered Tony the first handful. “Are you gonna ask me what I found out about the Monaco Whip Fetish guy, or are we going to have to karaoke duel it out to figure out who’s the best band?”

“Always Backstreet.” Tony crammed in several bites of chips and said around a spray of crumbs, “Is Monaco Whip Fetish Guy the official name? Because I could be on board with that. Just spicy enough to sell headlines, just awkward enough to ruin the moment at social gatherings.”

“You seem chipper today.” Rhodey commented instead of answering straight away. “And by chipper I mean obnoxious. What’s going on?”

“I thought you missed my patented brand of hilarity?” Tony nudged Rhodey’s foot and ignored the gratifying twinge in his core from James at the Monaco hotel. He was running on three hours of sleep and the left over high of being fucked to the point of near incoherence and it was nice. It was nice and all the questions were sort of ruining his buzz which was a bummer because he really needed it to last all the way through Pierce’s stupid party and then hopefully carry over into--

“Where the hell did you just go?” Rhodey snapped his fingers in front of Tony’s eyes and the brunette jumped. “What was that, you zoned completely. Earth to Tones.”

“Yeah, yeah I’m here. Solidly on Earth and chipper as hell.” Tony waved the hand away. “Eat some more chips and tell me about Whip Fetish Guy.”

James’s look was thoroughly unimpressed and unconvinced, and Tony’s returning glance was equally unconcerned and more than a little impatient so the Colonel cleared his throat and reached for the file next to him on the couch.

“Alright. Whip Fetish Guy’s real name is Ivan Antonovich Vanko. Forty years old and some change best as we can tell, his passport and ID are all fake so it’s sort of a guessing game.” Rhodey pulled out a photo and handed it to Tony. “You recognize this guy at all? Anton Vanko worked with Stark Industries and specifically with your dad on the arc reactor. Those two were bosom buddies right up until Vanko was accused of espionage and then convicted of selling weapons grade plutonium to Pakistan. They gave him almost two decades in Kopiesk before he fell off the map.”

“JARVIS?” Tony held up the picture and a light burst from the ceiling to scan the photo and upload it to his servers. “I’ve never even heard this guy’s name. You sure he worked with Dad?”

“How else do you explain the arc reactor, Tony?” James asked flatly. “We both have reviewed the Senate footage of the other attempts to replicate your armor and nothing comes close. not even in the developed countries. Then a guy from the butt end of Siberia who says your dads worked together has a perfectly working model. That can’t be a coincidence.”

“It’s not--” Tony ground his teeth together and pursed his lips. “It’s not perfectly working, but yeah pretty damn close. So what, you think old man Vanko hated Howard for getting him deported and encouraged his son to take revenge over some plutonium? I don’t think terrorists are allowed to upset about being outed as terrorists.”

There was that left over bitter than Tony had never quite managed to hide after Afghanistan, the left over anger after what had been done to him at the hands of the Ten Rings, what he’d seen done to villages full of innocents after his company sold the baddies the means to wage war.

“Nope.” he decided. “Being outed as a piece of shit selling our weapons to the bad guys isn’t a valid reason for revenge. Ask Obadiah. Oh wait, you can’t because we disintegrated him when the reactor core blew.”

“Easy easy.” Rhodey murmured when Tony’s hands balled up tight. “Nobody’s saying Obadiah or the Ten Rings were justified in anything they did. Not to you, not to all the people they hurt--”

“--not to Yinsen!” Tony burst out and the colonel nodded, “Not to Yinsen. And I’m not saying Anton Vanko didn’t deserve to be locked up but it might not have gone down the way we think.”

“What does that mean?”

“You didn’t hear this from me.” Rhodey handed Tony another piece of paper, the report filed by Howard naming Vanko as a spy. “But there wasn't a whole lot of proof, Tony. Not a whole lot of proof of anything until the charge comes in for selling the plutonium. Vanko’s name is all over all the early plans of the reactor, then they get something finalized, a few days later he’s deported as a spy and if you look at the timeline it sure seems like first he was accused and thrown out, then he turned to selling weapons.”

“It’s not an excuse.” he said slowly. “But Tony, I’ve read these reports a hundred times. It sort of looks like they got everything finalized and everything went to hell. Either Howard discovered some concrete proof of espionage and decided not to share it with the class--”

“--Or Dad sold the guy upstream so Stark Industries would completely own the patent on a piece of technology that would change the world.” Tony raised his eyebrows skeptically. “That’s a reach, even for Howard.”

“It’s a reach.” Rhodey allowed. “But it’s not unheard of. Remember Project Paperclip after the war? We imported all the best minds from Germany, used them up and threw them in jail or sent them back home to be tried as war criminals. Using intellect and getting rid of the person attached is capitalism at it’s finest, and especially back when everyone was worried about Communists and turning on their neighbors to report them... it’s not really a reach at all. One business partner getting rid of another with a frame up job isn’t unheard of. And the 'bad guy’ moniker is so easy to slap on someone who talks with an accent. You know that. You’ve seen Die Hard.”

“One hundred and twenty seven times, yeah.” Tony picked up the file and flipped through it himself. “Well what do you want me to do about it? No matter what Howard did or Anton thought he did-- Ivan walked down the middle of the Grand Prix slicing up cars and not caring who he killed. If he was after me for revenge, how did he even know I was racing? I didn’t plan that at all. How did he know? Is there a security leak I should be worried about?”

“Well, I don’t trust your new hunky boyfriend and I sure as hell don’t trust your new super hot secretary.” Rhodey took the papers back and reassembled the file. “But I don’t think Ivan knew you were racing. I think his original plan was to show up and murder a room full of people until he got to you, and you deciding to be a full tilt moron and go racing just changed things. Sure made it easier for Vanko to find you, and probably saved a bunch of lives keeping the fight out on the road.”

“Oh good, I’m glad my trauma and what will certainly be re-occuring nightmares made things easier on the maniac.” Tony slumped back into the couch and closed his eyes, a coming headache from lack of sleep and a couple days of high stress pushing at the edge of his vision. “Don’t bother updating me on the situation, alright? So long as he’s not out causing more mayhem, I don’t want to know what’s happening. Can’t take the stress.”

“Uh huh.” Rhodey nudged at him. “You’re not jealous that he has cool whips and you’re still shooting stuff out your palm like a dummy?”

“Keep talking like that and I’ll pop you in the face with a repulsor, see which one of us is the dummy then.”

Silence in the lab, comfortable and years in the making of content, Rhodey crunching away on chips while Tony tried to relax and drifted towards sleep. Monaco had only been yesterday morning and the flight home had taken the entire night. A few hours of sleep had been all Tony managed before the restlessness drove him downstairs to find Rhodey and he only had a few hours before he had to get presentable and the promised appropriate for Pierce’s party.

He was suddenly exhausted, the buzz from Monaco draining away and leaving him worn out but Rhodey was familiar and warm and despite the secrets piling up between them, Tony breathed out a sigh of relief and snuggled closer. “Remember college?” he mumbled. “When we’d fall asleep studying?”

“I remember your ass running on unfiltered caffeine and Satan’s own spite to get through finals.” Rhodey countered, settling an arm around Tony’s shoulders. “I remember you shrieking about freedom after the last exam and then coming to find me and falling asleep wherever I was. The table in the cafeteria, the front quad, the library.”

“Yeah.” Tony yawned. “Good memories, right? Treasured times.”

“Not half as treasured as you think.” Rhodey frowned when Tony’s shirt gapped and he caught a glimpse at black lines around the reactor, and his frown deepened when he saw a spot that looked like a bruise at Tony’s neck. “What’s with the extra dark lines right there, Tony? You okay?”

Tony was not okay and Rhodey knew it, but he still gave his friend the chance to lie to him come clean. “Everything still good?”

“Everything’s fine.” Tony closed up his shirt without opening his eyes. “Normal stuff behind the arc reactor after extended use of the suit and stress.”

“And your neck?”

“Probably a hickey.” Tony grinned to himself when Rhodey muttered a curse about ‘too much goddamn information’. “Yeah, sort of surprised I don’t look worse. James is energetic.”

“I will push you off this couch if you keep talking like that.” Rhodey stated, and Tony zipped his lip over a quiet laugh. “So what, you two are getting serious?”

“If by serious you mean we’ve progressed to the dance with no pants--”

“--Tony!”

“--then sure, I guess you could say serious.” Tony shrugged, yawned and stretched until he was fit snugger at the colonels side. “It’s fun. Never thought I’d be the one to say things like ‘get deeper’ but--ooph!”

Tony gasped when Rhodey unceremoniously-- and honestly sort of rudely-- pushed him off the couch and right onto the floor. “Honeybear! How could you?”

“Try again.” Rhodey stretched all the way out on the couch so there was no room for Tony. “And keep it G-rated.”

“Spoilsport.”

“Brat.”

Rhodey gave in and hauled Tony back up, tucking the smaller brunette in at his side and frowning all over again when he felt how thin Tony was beneath his shirt, the way Tony trembled just a little bit in his arms. “Tony--”

“James treats me good.” Tony changed the subject and Rhodey took the hint for what it was. “I waited twenty five years after Tiberius to try something like this again and I gotta say, it’s working out really well.”

“So he’s uh--” Damn, Rhodey hated having this conversations but he’d been having them with Tony since MIT so there was no reason to stop now. “-- he’s being good to you? Listening to you and all that? You guys are being safe?”

“I’m in my forties, Rhodey.” Tony jabbed at his side. “You don’t need to have the birds and bees talk with me.”

“I’m pretty sure this talk is just bees and bees.” The colonel replied dryly. “Seriously though, Tones. You aren’t letting him break your heart are you?”

“Not sure I have a heart left to break, Platypus.” Tony mumbled.

“Come on now, we all know that’s a lie.” Rhodey couldn’t shake the feeling that Tony was fragile just now, so he budged forward and gave him a gentle kiss on the forehead. “Want me to stay here so you can sleep a little bit before Pierce’s thing?”

Tony didn’t answer because he was already asleep, lulled under by the sound of Rhodey’s voice in his ear and the steady beat of his heart.

“Wacky kid.” The Colonel tried for affectionate, but it just came out miserable as he got an up close look at the bags under Tony’s eyes and the stress lines etched into his face. “What the hell is going on with you?”

“If I may, Colonel?”

“Yes, JARVIS.”

“The shelter Mr. James stayed at requires a full health panel to be run on any of their residents. At the request of Ms. Potts I accessed the information and can assure you that James was given a clean bill of health. Almost astonishingly clean considering his time being homeless and former military service. There were several curious markers in his blood noted, but nothing that raised any red flags so they were simply pushed aside.”

“Curious markers?” Rhodey repeated. “Anything you could access?”

“I fear the shelters system is not as equipped as I am to deal with unknowns, so once it was established there was nothing untoward in his system, transmitted or otherwise, the rest was ignored.”

“Okay, well thanks for letting me know.” Rhodey ran a careful hand through Tony’s hair and sighed. “Damn near fifty years old and I still gotta make sure your partners aren’t skeevy? Come on, Tones you’re killing me.”

“Shall I turn the lights down, Colonel Rhodes?”

“Put on that one song too, the one his Mama always played on the piano. That always helps him sleep.”

“Of course, Colonel.”

The first strains of Try to Remember floated through the lab, and Rhodey pulled one of the blankets down from the back of the couch to cover Tony, set his alarm for ten am so Tony would have time to shower and change before the party and settled in for a quick nap.

Sometime soon he’d have to sit James down and give him the old shovel talk, but for right now…

“Thanks for staying, Rhodey.”

“It’s no problem, bud.”

...for right now, this was fine.

**************

“I thought the party was at eleven?” James asked as he followed Tony out of the limo at just past twelve thirty. “We’re late?”

“It’s called making an entrance.” Tony was still tired-- would that ever go away?-- but after a nap with Rhodey he was feeling better so he managed an almost real smile for the cameras that immediately began flashing in his face. “Trust me, we’re not even the latest ones here. The richer people are, the later they will show up to an event.”

“Seems rude.” James remarked and Tony chuckled, “Yeah, so are rich people. Come on, I’ll introduce you to a whole bunch you definitely won’t like.”

“You said this would be fun!” James was only mock complaining, but he did have to put his hands in his pocket so he wouldn’t try and hold onto Tony when the pretty brunette grinned at him. Snuggling close on the plane had been one thing, sharing a quick kiss before going to their separate rooms at the Malibu house had been another. But the Inauguration and Promotion party for the new Secretary of Defense was not the best time to announce their...relationship?... to the entire world and even though James didn’t understand a whole lot about Tony’s life, he remembered enough of his own hidden memories to not be angry about keeping things under wraps a little longer.

No problem.

“I said there would be lots of suits and uptight small talk.” Tony corrected. “I never promised fun.”

“Okay okay.” James held up his hands peacefully. “But I also remember you saying something about tiny snacks too, so lead me to those and I’ll be fine. S’not rude to eat trays at a time, right? Or is that only rich people rude?”

“You’re um--” Tony peered over his glasses at James curiously. “You’re fun today. Not that you aren’t usually fun but this is-- I like it. Teasing and sort of flirty? Is this you you?”

“Think so.” James nodded once, then again. “It feels real to be like this, not like I’m pretending or following what other people do so I come across as normal.”

“I hear that.” Tony’s glasses went right back up when someone approached, and he cheesed through a few faux pleasantries before coming back to the conversation. “I spend most of my time acting the way people expect me to act, it’s nice sometimes to just be me.”

“When are ya just you?” A hint of Brooklyn in his words, natural and unintended and James smiled when Tony blushed a tiny bit. “With Ms. Potts? At home?”

“Lately?” Tony waved to someone and then glanced at James, glanced away when the pink on his cheeks darkened. “Just with you, I think.”

“Tony Stark!” someone interrupted their quiet conversation, an older woman in a tailored suit and the sort of tasteful jewelry that spoke of both money and a personal stylist and James took a step away purely out of habit, purely so he could observe from something of a distance.

These people were fascinating, most of them lying through their cosmetically enhanced to each other, laughing at unfunny jokes and doling out compliments that were only thinly veiled insults. Even Tony at his fakest and most camera ready behavior didn’t compare with how plastic the entire even felt. Plastic smiles, plastic bodies, plastic conversation. They were fascinating and there was far too much for James to catalogue and understand for him to pay attention to yet another inane conversation about--

“So! Taking a chance on something new are we?” James snapped back to attention when the woman’s gaze zeroed in on him, eyeing his left arm and silver fingers, lingering over his shoulders and long hair. “Who’s this?”

“This is James.” Tony motioned James forward. “I’ve been doing some work on his prostheses and he’s--”

“Gorgeous!” the woman interrupted. “He’s gorgeous! New flavor of the month? How long will this one last?”

“Wow.” Tony cleared his throat. “Listen, I uh--”

Thankfully-- and perhaps purposefully-- another voice called the woman away and she waved a cheerful, “Oh Secretary Pierce! Hello!” and granted Tony and James at least a moment of reprieve.

“Sorry about that.” Tony took two glasses off a passing tray and handed one to James. “Remember when I said rich people are rude? Somehow they’re even worse than the press because at least the press fears being sued for slander and libel. Gossip is exempt from all of those things and it thrives in parties like this.”

“Huh.” James took a sip of his drink and grimaced. Why didn’t they ever serve beer at these things? He liked beer right? ...right?

“So what’s the verdict?” he asked from behind his glass, and Tony cocked a confused eyebrow in his direction. “About me being the new flavor of the month, I mean.”

“Ah.” Tony took a sip of his own, but didn’t bother trying to hide his smile. “Well, you certainly are new aren’t you?”

“You’re fun today too.” James inched closer so just their elbows brushed. “Had a good time with Colonel Rhodes?”

“Believe it or not, Monaco wasn’t even all that bad.” Tony let his eyes sparkle almost devious and was rewarded when James tinted soft pink. “The hotel was excellent. Sturdy walls and soundproof-- Secretary of Defense Pierce!”

Conversation derailed by the same man that had stolen their too nosy companion away before, Tony switched topics mid sentence and raised his glass in a toast. “Hey! Congratulations on the appointment! We’re all rooting for you. Couldn’t go to a more deserving individual.”

Tony was lying and James noticed for only a split second before his attention was captured by the man in front of him.

“Tony Stark. And his new.... friend...”

Alexander Goodwin Pierce was a consummate politician-- deceptively easy going with quick smiles and warm hand shakes that contrasted with the severe lines of his suit and the sternness set into his features. His sharp gaze saw everything, sharper wit gleaned information from even the most reticent sources, and while he’d been known to de-escalate nuclear level tensions, there was a shark like quality to his gaze that spoke of searching for blood.

The man was intimidatingly smart, overly educated and weaponized a practiced act of humility, going so far as to turn down a Nobel Peace Prize while simultaneously leveraging the influence afforded him by the honor into an ever escalating ladder of success. He was an American hero, a life long patriot and the sort of individual that would do anything to ensure the success of an endeavor he deemed the right path.

Alexander Pierce was dangerous in the same way all smart men were dangerous, and while Howard had shaken his hand many a time and dined alongside Presidents and dignitaries while sharing private jokes, it had been Maria that never quite trusted Pierce’s particular brand of charm.

And Tony took after his Mama in more ways than one, so when he reached to shake Pierce’s hand and was left rebuffed for a few seconds while the Secretary blatantly stared at James, he didn’t ignore the wiggle of unease down his spine.

What is happening?

“This must be James.” Pierce said, smoothly, a hint of a smirk on his face as if he knew a secret neither Tony nor James knew, and Tony-- Tony hated that. Snake. “How on earth did you manage to find someone like this, Tony?”

“We were both having breakfast in a diner with really good pancakes.” Tony stepped a little bit in front of James as if his height in any way covered the soldier’s hulking frame. “I offered to build him a new prostheses, he said I had a nice smile. Tale as old as time.”

“Uh-huh.” Pierce had yet to look away from James, but his mouth turned up more at the corners, eyes sharpening as he looked James over. “I see. And tell me, how did a man like this happen to be in the exact diner where billionaire genius philanthropist Tony Stark would come in for pancakes? Was he living nearby?”

“Was staying at the shelter in D.C.” James answered shortly. Tony was practically radiating tension towards a guy that didn’t seem to be any more danger than a damn toaster, but if Tony was going to be uncomfortable, James was going to be uncomfortable too. Tony had said Pierce was a nice guy but right now, he seemed more like an enemy so James tipped his chin up and narrowed his eyes. “What’s it to ya?”

“What’s it to me.” Alexander laughed softly and lifted his glass up in a faux cheers. “An excellent sentence to be sure. How long was he at the shelter, Stark? Do you know why he chose D.C. as a landing point?”

“Um--” James blinked, thrown by the way the man kept talking about him but not to him and the way Tony kept winding tighter and tighter. Everything about this was wrong and Pierce was smiling like he knew something, like he knew James, but that didn’t make any sense.

Something was wrong.

“Tony.” Alexander kept watching James. “You’ve never done a hands on charitable deed in your life. What is so special about this particular ex soldier?”

“Sure, Stark Industries Charity Foundation does most of the good deeds, but I like to get my hands dirty every once in a while.” Tony retorted defensively. “How did you hear about James? Or his military service for that matter?”

“He’s got soldier written all over him.” Pierce said, and that was apparently funny to only him. “The way he walks, the way he stands there staring. The speech--” he tapped at his bottom lip. “That’s new. A new development--”

“Excuse me?”

“No, I just mean you’d expect someone so clearly military to keep some more of that stilted speech pattern.” Alexander was quick to explain his words, but the seemingly intentional damage was already done and Tony reached behind him when he felt James step away.

“Hey.” he said softly. “Hey, it’s okay. We can just leave if you want.”

“Talk to your friend.” It was a like a curtain fell in front of James’s eyes, leaving them blank and cold, his speech stilted. Something was wrong and everything was plastic and he needed to leave. “I’ll find something to eat and wait for you outside.”

Tony was safe, James knew that. The danger Pierce represented had nothing to do with Tony and something to do with James so he was just going to walk away. “I’ll be back in a little bit.”

“Oh no, don’t let him leave.” This was the shark Maria had hated so much, the eerily focused eyes and the teeth bared in a barely convincing smile. “I have so many questions. Tell me again how you two met?”

“It was a diner.” Tony turned long enough to make sure James made it out the door then turned back to Pierce and took one, two steps into his space, reaching to finally finish that shake they never really got to, and purposefully squeezing hard.

All his life he’d let the press and tabloids say what they wanted about him, he’d let Rhodey or Pepper deflect the meaner comments while he just laughed as if they didn’t wound him to his soul but now? Now Tony had a countdown and percent of nearly fifty and if he was crossing things off his bucket list, he might as well add finally telling pretentious politicians to shut the hell up to the tally, right?

...and if he was sort of irrationally angry that Secretary Pierce was being so rude to the first person to make Tony honestly happy in years….

….well that was something too, wasn’t it?

“Mr. Stark.” Alexander raised his eye brows when Tony invaded his space. “Something on your mind?”

“I don’t know what sort of game you’re playing, but no one is going to come along and purposefully make me and my date so uncomfortable.” Tony said calmly, quietly, clearly. “I don’t care who you are or how many President’s hands you’ve shaken, there is no excuse to talk about anyone the way you just talked about James and there’s certainly no excuse for the recently appointed Secretary of Defense to bring that sort of assholery to a former soldier.”

“Tony, I think you’re over-reacting.” Alexander protested lightly. “I was just curious about your date, I wasn’t aware that you and the Soldier-- er, any soldiers-- ran in the same circles. Is there something in your past--”

He emphasized the word. “--that draws you together? Perhaps he knew your dearly departed mother?”

“Mr. Secretary, I don’t know why the hell you’re acting like this, but I have had enough.” Tony bared his teeth in an equally frightening smile as his vision practically flickered red with a surge of anger. His Mama? Pierce wouldn’t dare. “I am far past the days of giving a single flying fuck what people think about me or my actions. I don’t care what your title is or how much people admire you for pretending to not want that Nobel Prize. Whatever game you’re playing right now? Cut it out, or I will ruin you, do you understand?

“Just so we’re clear…” Pierce glanced around the room then pulled Tony an inch closer, eyes flashing in defiance. “Is Iron Man threatening me? Coming after the Secretary of Defense and head of SHIELD?”

“No.” Tony shook his head. “This has nothing to do with Iron Man and everything to do with us. I personally will ruin you if you continue acting this way towards myself or anyone I bring around. Do you understand?”

It was a step too far, way too far in fact, threatening a high ranking official and powerfully connected man with danger just for insulting him was way too far but Tony didn’t want to stop. No one else was going to tear down the things that made him happy, no one else was going to step up and ruin what should be a good day. Tony didn’t have all that many days left and damn it, he was tired of them being spoiled all the time.

“Do you understand?” he asked again, pointed and focused and wishing half to hell he had finished the design on the stand alone gauntlet so he could whip it out and send Pierce through a wall. “No more.”

“You’re the boss, Mr. Stark.” Pierce relaxed in a half second, backing off and smiling broadly. “After all, I never would have made it this far in life without the support of good friends and faithful Americans who choose to let me continue doing what I believe is right.”

“Sure.” Tony’s head was suddenly throbbing and he tried not to visibly wince. “Whatever you say to make Washington like you. Now if you’ll excuse me--”

“Oh there’s just one more thing.” Pierce said and Tony ground his teeth together in frustration. “You never gave me James’s last name.”

“He’s got a pretty bad case of PTSD and some form of amnesia after his accident.” Tony said shortly. “We don’t know his last name, and trust me, I’ve looked.”

“If you ever want to call in one of the dozen or so favors I owe the Stark family, I’d be happy to look up any information I can find on your friend.” Pierce offered smoothly. “Any information at all. I’m sure with my resources we could have an answer sooner rather than later. Might even see about getting some of those memories back. Wouldn’t that be fun? To be able to remember the nineties again? Good times for all involved, right?”

“Mr. Secretary.” Tony pressed a hand to the arc reactor when his chest tightened with unexplained anxiety. “You’re clearly having a conversation that I am not privy too and since I don’t have time for political, societal bullshit anymore, I want you to know I mean this in the best way possible-- Congratulations on your promotion, but you can go fuck yourself.”

Tony was on his way out the door a minute later, visibly seething, visibly searching for James and anyone who doubted that perhaps Tony Stark was actively dating a man had their questions answered when the two reunited at the front steps and held hands down into the waiting limo.

My oh my, the gossip of the decade.

“Was that--” Brock Rumlow was head of Secretary Pierce’s security, and he paused just over his boss’s shoulder to ask, “With Stark. That was him, wasn’t it?”

“Somehow yes.” Pierce tossed back the rest of his drink. “We lost track of him in D.C. and it’s because Stark picked him up like a lost puppy and brought him all the way to Malibu. What are the odds of that?”

“Sorta weird that it's old man’s Stark work that helped create him.” Rumlow offered. “Should we be worried about interference from big and blond?”

“The most interesting thing about any member of the Stark family is that they have always thought they were ahead of the plot.” Pierce remarked slowly. “When in reality, they are so focused on their genius and their one project, they fail to see the rest unfolding around them. It was Howard’s issue, it was Maria’s issue and now it is Tony’s downfall. He is literally holding the piece to one of the greatest conspiracies of all time, and he has no idea.”

“Doesn’t know about his parents?”

“At this point, I’d say no.”

“Are we going to change that?”

“Not yet.” Alexander smiled graciously at a passing waitress. “No sense rushing things. The Soldier was wiped to the point of incoherence and he’s barely human as it is. Let’s wait and see what’s going to happen.”

“What happens if the Soldier comes back online?”

“Well, the last person on his list of targets was Stark.” the Secretary reminded him. “Then Stane stepped in and took care of Tony for us and we wiped the Asset before we realized Tony would escape. If he comes back online, he will revert to the last known objective and that will solve every headache and problem I’ve had since meeting Howard thirty years ago.”

“Huh.” Rumlow shot one last look at the departing limo. “If you say so, boss.”

“Oh, I think I’d prefer it if you called me Mr. Secretary.” Another smile for a party goer. “It has such a nice ring to it, don’t you think?

***************

It was later that night when Tony lay in bed staring up at the ceiling and wishing he had the nerve to go and crawl in close to James when the conversation with Pierce came back to him.

It was weird the way Pierce kept acting like he knew something about James, and not in the smarmy smirking way that homophobes acted around two men together, but in a more disturbing way, like he was laughing right in Tony’s face for just not knowing.... something.

“J?” he called to the ceiling. “You up?”

“For you sir, always.”

“Do me a favor and create a program that will connect Alexander Pierce with anyone like James. Former soldiers, PTSD patients, anything like that. Was he over seas in a time when James might have been, was he involved in any rehab program-- all that sort of thing.”

“Of course sir, I’ll begin right away. Would you like James’s opinion on the day’s events? My sensors show he is still awake as well.”

“Um--” Tony’s entire body heated thinking about James being awake. “Um-- no. I need some sleep.”

“The admission is a miracle in itself, sir. Ms. Potts will be thrilled you’ve finally come to recognize the very human need for REM sleep.”

“Snarky shit.” Tony muttered, and rolled over into his pillows. “Good night, J.”

“Good night sir. Sleep well.”

*****************

Chapter Notes:

I. LOVE. BOY. BANDS so my NCTS-verse Tony does too. Die mad about it.

‘Try to Remember’ is the song Maria is playing when Tony does the BARF demo in CACW.

I sort of enjoyed how fucking terrible Pierce was in this. Talking about James because he never once saw the WS as a person, just as a tool. Making references to Howard and Maria’s death to Tony’s face. MAKING TONY STARK THE WS’s OBJECTIVE JUST BEFORE TONY GOT KIDNAPPED IN AFGHANISTAN. HOLY PLOT LINE BATMAN THAT COULD BE A FIC ALL BY ITSELF

SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THE FIC!

*****************

@quietgayguy @bluedreamdino @akimi-youngblood @blackstar1602 @dixiehellcat @travellover1245 @capnstarkey @the-awkward-teenaged-one @thanossucks @peteryoulittleshit @tony-and-steeeb @striving-artist @roe-sesandthorns @coolsidedpillow @i-am-worth-it-25 @firelightmystic @maligatorthealigator @simsccsol @a-tardis-in-221b @happyendingrequired @everygoodoneistaken11 @pootie-and-the-snoots @megahuffledor @xkissmeimirishx @crystalskrull @hazelbeatsturtle @wecollectnightmares @endrega23 @saganarojanaolt @the-crazy-house @ravynfyre @yomama-umbridge @lovely--tony @gayspacesprinkles @elliotkaingrey @warmachinesocks @glitternotgold73

@ships-galore @ceealaina @izziebladez @cwar1864 @hausoffro @tonystarkisanangel @multishippinglife @girlnic @iam93percentstardust @paranormalmoonlight5 @igotloki @moosette05 @wayward-student-philosopher @kaz-brekkers-gloves @atomicfandombomb @1fuckingshitup69 @agentlokii @livewire28 @tulipsnbigcats @kimstark @alex-stark-rogers @bibbarnes @heeeyitskay @goindownshipping @justaniche @actual-demon-belial

#ncts fics #winteriron #tony stark #bucky barnes #iron man 2 #alexander pierce

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clevercatchphrase · 7 years

Text

You Monster Chpt. 28

Click Here to Read on AO3! Chapters: [First][Previous][Next] Notes: It’s finally here. I’ve done it. This chapter is 16 thousand words long. I can’t even.

Somewhere else entirely, several hours ago…

Alphys sat at her computer screen with her chin on her claws as she watched the curious little creature on the monitor before her. She had put down her pen and paper ages ago, no longer frantic to scribble down notes and observations every time they blinked or sneezed. After a couple hours of simply following the human through her screen she no longer felt like she was making brilliant scientific breakthroughs for all of monsterkind, but rather… keeping an eye on a small companion, checking up on an old friend.

Funny how just watching someone struggle through all sorts of obstacles could make root for them, or feel like a guardian angel.

Alphys blinks a couple of times. Huh, where was this protective feeling coming from all of the sudden? She shakes herself out of it and tries to refocus. They were a human and she was a scientist who needed to study them to help her people. She didn’t need to guard them. She wasn’t supposed to feel attached to them. She had only promised to make sure they didn’t get hurt in Waterfall was all, nothing more than that.

Her eyes drift up to the screen where the human jumps in puddles alongside her brother like every other monster child had done at their age.

And yet… she couldn’t help but think.

An alarm on her wristwatch chimes a reminder- it’s twelve o’clock. Lunchtime.

The royal scientist sighs and reluctantly leaves her computer. She knows she promised Sans to keep tabs on the human, but now they were busy conducting music with Shyren by the old statue in front of a gathering crowd. Surely they’d be fine a few minutes alone without her eyes on them when there were so many others there to do it for her.

Roughly an hour later, Alphys hefts the half-empty bag of dog chow over her shoulder as the elevator ascends. She realizes she’d have to go to the local pet store either today or tomorrow to get more. Oh, why did that amalgamutt- pardon, -amalgamate- have to eat so much? Well, if she could call it eating. The conglomerate of canines more or less inhaled its food through the sole orifice on its head, bowl and all. She’s glad the employees at the pet store don’t question how much kibble she buys on a weekly basis, but she’d rather not have to go to the store every other day and risk suspicion when she never once showed evidence that she owned a dog.

The elevator dings! and the royal scientist steps out onto the main floor of her laboratory, in a hurry to get back to her computer screen. She hadn’t been gone long, but she didn’t want Sans to think her indolent for having left them unattended longer than she had planned.

Her lab is dim, the lights usually turn off on their own when she’s not there to save on electricity, but when something goes bump in the gloom her scales instantly stand on end.

She’s not alone.

“H-hello?” She tentatively calls out in the murky hallway, but no one responds. Gingerly, the scientist tiptoes to her computer and waves a hand in front of a motion sensor to get the lights to come back on. None of her papers look disturbed and all her dirty dishes are in the exact place she’d left them. Nothing had changed.

‘Scaredy scales,’ Alphys chastises herself. ‘Jumping at shadows and getting worked up over nothing. Nobody’s here. The lights would have come on if there were, remember?’

And then, creeping into her field of vision, just out of the corner of her eye, something long and slithering coils around her sides, and-

“ALPHYS! DARLING!”

Alphys screams so loud, she’s pretty sure the King could have heard her. She jumps a mile in the air, choking the bag of dog food so tight that kibble goes flying out its open end.

“M-M-Mettaton?! W-w-what are you doing in here?!” the yellow lizard stutters as the rectangular robot embraces her in his long, slinky arms.

“Oh, just the usual, darling! I just wanted to drop by and get a quick status update on how my new body is doing! I know my fans are just dying for a little more pizazz in my show! (Not to mention I already promised my producers a new look for the new season to pull in the ratings!) So has any progress been made since my last visit?”

“Oh, uh, y-yes! Lots,” Alphys lies, wriggling free of Mettaton’s strangle hold to go back to her computer screen. “But, uh, I-I-I’ve had to put it on hold for the moment. Something more urgent h-has come up, regrettably.” Her monitor shows the same live feed in Waterfall of the statue in the rain tunnel, but now the scene is completely bare, no human or Undyne in sight.

Frowning, she begins to rotate through her other cameras. They couldn’t have gone far.

“Wonderful news! So do you think you can give me an ETA on that, or…?”

“Yeah, yeah, sure Mettaton…” Alphys mumbles as she changes through the channels. She finds her brother back in the Glowing Water Room struggling to carry something, and then Undyne on the bridges, but the human isn’t with her.

Alphys’ soul feels like it’s doing frantic back flips. Undyne without the human… That was disconcerting to say the least. She’d promised Sans she’d keep an eye on her! But Undyne didn’t seem to be carrying anything soul shaped, so maybe everything was alright? Oh, who was she kidding. She shouldn’t have let her eyes off them for a second! Fine guardian angel- er, some vigilant scientist she turned out to be!

Just as she starts going through all the absolute worst case scenarios in her head, Alphys flips to her cameras in the land fill sector and she finally gets lucky.

Ah! There they are! Walking through the junk yard (and following a ghost? Whatever it is, it’s making the live feed fuzzy, so it’s hard to tell). How did they get down there? Well, no time to worry about that now. They look a bit dazed for some reason, but at least they’re alive and unhurt.

Just then the human turns a bit, angling their body a bit more towards the camera, and now she can see that they’ve got one arm drawn up funny, which they hold close with their other hand. They’re doing their best not to bump into anything, but still their face goes tense when they accidentally jar their side against some obstructing pile of trash.

Uh-oh. Maybe they weren’t unhurt after all.

“My my, darling! What new show of yours is this?” Mettaton asks rolling up to her side. “Hm, that little human doesn’t look animated. Is this a movie, or an episode of some obscure reality TV series the humans watch? It has no audio. Is silent film finally making a comeback?”

“No, it’s live,” Alphys admits, too concentrated on the monitor to watch her tongue.

“LLLIIIVVVEEE?” Mettaton gasps overdramatically, drawing out the word with exaggerated phonation. “Good gracious, Alphys! But then that would mean there is a human in the Underground right this very moment! Stars above, somebody pinch me! I must be dreaming! This is exactly the kind of show stopping news my network has been looking for! I must call my producer immediately-!”

“WHAT?NO!DON’T!YOUCAN’T!” Alphys says without pause between the words. “I-I mean, they’re not coming to Hotland! Wait, no, I mean, uhh wh-what human? Pssh, that’s n-not a human, Mettaton! Don’t be silly!”

“Alphys. Darling.” Mettaton says frankly. “Do you think my robotic eyes were installed yesterday?”

“Um, yes? It says so right here in your hardware updates?”

“Irrelevant!” Mettaton wheels close to the scientist to drape one arm around her and pull her in close. “Alphys, for the first time in decades there is a human in the Underground and I simply must meet them and have them on my show! Think of the masses we could be informing! Think of the history we could be making! The people we could be inspiring! The demographics we could be exploiting! Oh where is the phone number for my entourage? I must get them escorted to my hotel this minute!”

“No, Mettaton! You can’t!” Alphys argues, pushing herself free. “It’s vital that the human doesn’t come to Hotland! For their safety and ours!”

Mettaton beeps displeasingly and crosses his arms. “My, my, Alphys. You seem rather protective of this human and keeping them a secret. Are they a friend of yours?”

“What?” Alphys replies, taken aback. She wasn’t trying to cover for them! Was she? “N-no, of course not!” She answers her own question. “I-in fact, I wanted to study them, but-”

“Then why are we even arguing, darling? I’ll call my valet and have them dropped off here, and then when you’re done with them, I can bring them on my show for all of monsterkind to meet!”

“Mettaton! For once in your life will you just listen to me and trust when I say it would be a very bad idea to show the human to the entire Underground?”

“And why ever not, darling?”

“Because-! Because the human doesn’t know that they’re human, Mettaton!”

“A human… who does not know they are human.” Mettaton repeats skeptically. “Alphys, as someone who is rather intimate with the realm entertainment, I must inform you that your take on comedy leaves a lot to be desired.”

“My take on-? I’m not joking, Mettaton.” Groaning, Alphys drags her claws down her cheeks, snagging some flaking scales in the process. Oh, great. Now she’s stress shedding. If Mettaton kept this up she’d start developing bald spots. “They think they’re a boss monster like Asgore, and Sans and I agree that telling them has the slightest chance of being a VERY catastrophic idea if they found out!”

“Oh, that doesn’t sound so bad! Our audience could use a little more excitement of the calamitous variety in their life, don’t you think?”

Alphys stares at him blankly. This robot sometimes, she swears. When it’s clear to her that there’s no changing Mettaton’s mind, she decides to switch angles. “Then how about this for thought; You show the human to the Underground and Asgore catches wind of it, then he demands you hand the human over? What will your show do then?”

“I-!” Mettaton starts, raising a finger in defiance before tapping his chassis thoughtfully the way one would tap their chin. Alphys could hear his hard drive whirring as he simulated the scenario in is processer.

“Oh. I do see how that could lead to a premature cancelation. I guess I’ll just have to brainstorm a work around...”

The screens on Mettaton’s front flash red and yellow in a checkerboard pattern before lighting up in the shape of an exclamation mark. A sound clip of a desk bell dings! from his speaker ports.

“I’ve got it! We’ll make it a candid camera reality sitcom!”

“What… are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about make a show in the format of one of those double-blind science-y things you do! We’ll play along with this little boss monster and introduce them to the life as a celebrity! But only those of us who are in the know will really see what’s going on! It will be the greatest inside joke of all history! Now that’s comedy!”

“I… d-don’t think that’s very wise, Mettaton-“

“But Alphys! Imagine the possibilities! While I interview them about their life as a boss monster, you could be gaining valuable research! You could disguise your questionnaires as quizzes, and your experiments as challenges on my game show! The audience at home won’t dare say a word. That would be cheating! And the human would be none the wiser!”

Alphys dares to exhale. It did sound plausible, and as long as she could keep Mettaton quiet with the secret, things would work out fine. Everything would be okay. She wouldn’t be messing up again.

“And who knows? Maybe once we’ve exhausted our ideas, we could have a special identity reveal at the end of the season!”

“Mettaton…” Alphys says lowly, her tone warning.

“Temper, darling! Watch your temper!” Mettaton teases, and begins rolling backwards towards the exit. “Anyway, I must be off now! I just had the most brilliant idea for the pilot and need to get the directors on board post haste! Do keep me posted on the progress of my new form, and call me when our little boss monster decides to visit Hotland, will you? Toodles!”

With that, the rectangular robot disappears through the automatic doors. Alphys feels like her knees have turned to jelly and she barely reaches her computer chair before she collapses into it.

Oh boy. It seemed like the human was destined to come to Hotland now whether they wanted to or not. Mettaton would make sure of that. Why did ensuring the safety of one living being have to be so hard?

Grabbing the edge of her desk, Alphys swivels back around to face her monitor. Her claws brush one of her earlier notebooks on her human observations in the process. Idly, she flips through it, rereading all her potential experiments and questions she wanted to ask them on the off chance they ever got to meet, which now she realized, was about to become reality. She felt a bit differently on some of the experiments now. Reading them again, they did sound the tiniest bit unethical, even if they were performed on a human.

Her eyes flick up to the screen. The human and Undyne and Kid have all rejoined now, and it looks like they’re racing snails at the local snail farm, like any other three friends would.

It’s a struggle, but Alphys forces herself to look away. She’s already too attached to them as it is, and that would only make it harder for her to study them when they finally met in person and harder to let go before she would inevitably send them to Asgore.

“Do your job as the Royal Scientist first, Alphys,” she sighs, opening up a fresh note book and turning to a clean page to resume taking notes like she should have been doing from the start. “Then we’ll talk about part time jobs as a guardian angel.”

You sleep, and the vision unfolds and you find yourself back on the highway of bridges over the dump. Premonition tickles the back of your mind. The scenery around you feels too clear, too real. That’s when you realize this is isn’t a dream.

It’s a memory.

The memory plays out against your will and your heart thumps in trepidation as your body begins to walk on autopilot. You need to get off these bridges. Something bad is about to happen. You know something bad is about to happen, but you can’t stop yourself from moving forward. The sense of already having lived this disorients you as the future overlays the present, not giving you enough space for warning as it plays out. The end of the bridge is coming up. You’re going to walk right off of it. You need to stop, but you can’t control your feet. They move on their own volition.

You try to yell, to shout, or order your body to obey with a voice that’s not there, but nothing works. The edge is inches away and you’re steadily getting closer. You strain, you flail, you fight with the tangibility you don’t have, knowing it’s futile but trying anyway because you must. But nothing happens, and the bottomless drop off yawns wider, ready to receive you. You brace for the worst.

But… then you come to a stop. You’re puzzled, relieved, heart filling with dread. You managed to not walk right off the edge, but that can only mean something even worse is going to happen. You can feel it. Something is warning you not to turn around.

You have to. You can’t help it. This is a memory and it’s already happened.

You turn, only just enough time to recognize the silhouette of the warrior and her wicked smile before her spears rain down and sever the wooden boards between you. Everything moves in slow motion as the world tilts and the ground rushes to the sky, leaving you behind. A stray spear hits your left shoulder which quickly brings you back to normal speed, and for a second you don’t know which feeling is stronger- the pain or the sensation of falling.

And you’re falling, falling, falling into something deeper than dreams.

You have to wake up! Wake up before you hit the ground! Wake up, your arm is being torn to shreds!

You jerk awake, and the feeling of falling quickly leaves you, but the pain in your shoulder screams louder than ever. You’ve fallen over in your sleep, right onto your bad arm. You thrash, blinded by pain as you roll over as fast as you can to get off your shoulder and end up spilling onto the floor.

The worst of the stinging goes away when your own weight is no longer pressing down on your arm. Hissing, you sit up and pull your collar to the side and try to look at it, only to find that even that’s now a challenge. The soreness of it all has started to spread up your neck and around your ribs. It hurts to move your whole left side but you manage to get a peek. The skin is angry and red and swollen. It’s hot to the touch, but your finger tips are cold and pale.

It hurts like hell, but you take small comfort in the fact that there is no puncture wound. At least that part of the memory was wrong.

Wait-

You freeze when you realize your own thoughts, and a bit of frenzied laughter escapes your lips, startling yourself when you put two and two together.

Ha ha, that’s right. That wasn’t a dream, it was a memory. Your eyes water, but you can’t tell if it’s from elation or shock. Ha ha, you can’t believe it. You remembered something. Ha, ha! This meant that you hadn’t forgotten again! This meant that-

Undyne cut the bridge.

The brief flame of joy in your heart is extinguished at once and your blood goes cold.

Why would she…? No. No, that had to be a mistake. You had to be misremembering, like with the spear-

You can’t help but recall your “sparring” session with Undyne yesterday, and how she wouldn’t stop attacking no matter how much you pleaded. Your stomach churns and you try to swallow a lump in your throat but it’s gone dry.

Oh God, she had wanted to- she was trying to-!

Geez, when did it get so stuffy in this room? Was it always this hot, or is it just you? It’s borderline suffocating. You… you need to get out of here, get some air, clear your head. Just… just for a minute. Just to think.

You cast one last glance over your shoulder at Kid still asleep on the couch. You won’t be long, you delude yourself.

As quietly as you can, you find your way to Gerson’s store front and slip outside to take a few deep breaths on the street. The air here is no cooler than the house. God, it feels so hard to breathe.

But why? The unanswerable question keeps jumping to the forefront of your mind as you try to calm yourself down. What did you do that would make Undyne want to… Was it something you said? Something you did? You thought you two were getting along at first. Where did it go so wrong?

You loiter outside the store awhile, massaging your sore arm and coming up with no good explanation. Still not ready to head back inside, you take stock of your surroundings since you didn’t have a good chance yesterday. The caves here are large and smooth and the floor is well-trodden. This must be a major road. Glowing runes catch your eye to the East. There are more plaques on the wall just further down the street. They look just like the ones you saw yesterday over the lake.

Maybe going for a short walk will help calm your nerves and get you tired again, you decide. You won’t go far, just to the plaques and back. Just to stretch your legs and take your mind of things.

“The Power to take their souls,” the first plaque reads when you got close enough to make out the words. “This is the power the humans feared.”

You walk as slowly as possible to give yourself a chance to read each word and to chew up time, following the line of inscriptions on the wall.

“This power has no counter. Indeed a human cannot take a monster’s soul. When a monster dies, its soul disappears. An incredible power would be needed to take the soul of a living monster.

“There is only one exception. The soul of a special species of monster called a “Boss Monster”. A Boss Monster’s soul is strong enough to persist after death, if only for a few moments. A human could absorb this soul, in theory, but this has never happened, and now it never will.

“The humans, afraid of our power, declared war on us. They attacked suddenly and without mercy.

“In the end, it could hardly be called a war. United, the humans were too powerful, and us monsters, too weak. Not a single soul was taken, and countless monsters were turned to dust.”

The road begins to grow unruly underfoot as weeds and grass crop up and snake into your path. You glance up and take in the entrance to a forest with trees twice as tall and twice as thick as the marble pillars that you have back in the ruins. The lowest branches of even the shortest tree are still far out of reach for even the tallest monster. They glow a weak bioluminescent blue on their undersides, and they’re so high you can’t see their tops. You wonder if they’re holding up the ceiling. After a moment of staring you turn back to the plaques.

“Hurt, beaten, and fearful for our lives, we surrendered to the humans. Seven of their greatest magicians sealed us underground with a magic spell. Anything can enter through the seal, but only beings with a powerful soul can leave.

“There is only one way to reverse this spell; if a huge power, equivalent to seven human souls, attacks the barrier, it will be destroyed.

“But this cursed place has no entrances or exits. There is no way a human could come here. We will remain trapped down here forever.

“However… there is a prophecy; The Angel, The One Who Has Seen The Surface, they will return and the Underground will go empty.”

The story ends here as far as you can tell, but your thoughts are still buzzing and impossible to order, and you can’t help but fidget and pace as you try to set them straight. The perpetual darkness of Waterfall gives you no way to tell the time like you could in the Ruins or in Snowdin, but the streets are noticeably empty and quiet, so you guess it’s a pretty safe bet it’s still the middle of the “night”.

What were supposed to do now? You can’t keep staying here; not out in the open or back there with Kid. Not if Undyne would keep trying to…

Perhaps you can just find the rest of the way on your own? That had been your plan from the start, after all. But it would be rude to just leave Kid behind and run off without thanking Gerson for his hospitality. Maybe you can just get Kid to just take you the rest of the way. The two of you made it so far together. But he looks up to Undyne so much… You doubt you’ll be able to convince him that she wants your dust.

Hm, maybe you could just keep standing outside in the middle of the street doing nothing. You’ve already got a great head start. You groan and shake your head. No, that wouldn’t work. Someone would find you here eventually. You had to make a choice here and now, despite all your bad options.

You guess you could go back to Snowdin. You know without a doubt Papyrus would welcome you back with open arms and you could stay with him and Sans for as long as you wanted. But you couldn’t stay with them forever, waiting each day by the door for someone who wasn’t going to answer. Heck, you don’t even know if you can find the way back to Snowdin at this point. You have to get to the capital one way or another. It’s your best choice. It’s your only choice.

You sigh and about-face, not looking forward to the walk back, but you only take two steps when you catch movement out of the corner of your eye.

A familiar gelatinous form inches past like a carefree accordion. You don’t believe your eyes. Is… is that who you think it is?

“Moldsmal?” you ask out loud. The gummy-like monster does not falter or stop and keeps squelching on its way. In a spilt second decision, you choose to pad after it, keenly aware that you are straying from the main road and into the forest.

“Moldsmal, wait! How did you get out of the ruins?”

The smaller monster pays you no heed as it slips over rocks and roots and fallen logs, around crystal outgrowths and mushroom clusters, deeper into the forest filled with the phosphorescent trees.

“Moldsmal, please! Is there a way to get back in past the doors?” You put on a burst of energy and sprint to close the distance between you and the other monster.

“Why are you running away? It’s me! I just need your help-” At last you catch up and reach out to it. It shutters and stiffens at the touch of your fingers- then rears back until it is twice your height and utters a deep, guttural sound. Spores of magic burst out like a halo around its body and it fixes you with a piercing stare from the one eye in the center of its jelly-like face.

And of all the things to think, your brain comes up with a brilliant deduction as you’re stumbling back in shock; This isn’t Moldsmal.

You trip over a rock and land hard on your bad arm. White spots flash across your eyes as you let out one short bark of pain.

The monster towers over you, its spores of magic closing in.

“I-I’m sorry,” you whisper between terrified huffs. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I-I thought you were someone else.”

The monster-who-is-not-Moldsmal leans in, its thistle-like magic creeping dangerously close as it studies you, apparently at a loss to what to do now that you’ve frozen in horror. It gurgles deep in its throat.

“P-please,” you beg, mouth dry, though you’re sweating. “I mean you no harm.” You still haven’t moved from your horizontal position on the ground, afraid the slightest movement might upset your adversary and wanting to appear as least-threatening as possible. For the second time since passing through the doors, all the warnings your mother had given you rush through your mind. All the dangers, all the threats, and here was one cornering you now, wearing the face of someone you thought you knew.

The monster’s eye is dangerously close to yours. It’s so close you could push it away if you really tried, if you fought back, defended yourself. Maybe stun it long enough to get away. You could. You could, but you can’t move. Terror locks you in place. This is how you’re going to die, scared stiff because of your stupid mistake.

Moldbygg inspects you for a long time, gurgling deep in its throat as it decides whether or not you are friend or foe. After a minute of motionlessness, it seems to understand you are no threat. The spores of magic dissipate, and Moldbygg slowly retracts, collapsing back into its jelly-like form.

You swear you hear it let out an annoyed snort as it inch-worms away. It’s only after you can’t hear its squelching sounds anymore, do you sit up and wipe the tears of panic from your eyes. It was foolish to come out this far at all. How could you possibly make it to the King all on your own when you can’t even walk down the street without screwing up? That’s it, you’re going to head back and try your hardest to sway Kid to show you the rest of the way through Waterfall.

You push yourself up on trembling knees, turn around, and start trudging North, back the way you came… or was it West? Wait, are you even facing North? You can’t tell in this extreme darkness.

You walk blindly, bumping into tree trunks and tripping over roots every-other step. You nearly jump out of your skin when your foot snaps a twig, but the noise gives you an idea.

Shuffling your feet, you kick up the dead pine needles until your foot catches on something stiff and you reach down for it, hopeful.

Ah, yes! You’ve found a branch, just like you were hoping. Holding the stick in your right hand, you attempt to snap your fingers with your left, but the sharp movement feels like bee-stings up your arm. You do a bit of juggling and pass the stick off to the other hand, squeezing it tight hurts your left shoulder, and you snap your right fingers as quick as you can with heated urgency.

Sparks fly and hit the leafless twigs, but the bark refuses to ignite. You snap frantically, feeling your grip tremble as your shoulder muscles cry out in torture.

Finally, a twig catches and you release your hold like you’re dropping a venomous snake, letting the branch fall into your hand on your good arm.

Carefully, you bring the smoldering end up to your face and breathe a bit of life onto it. The kindling brightens and dims with each puff until at last a tiny flame appears. It isn’t much, and it certainly doesn’t light up the whole forest, but the little light does help to chase away the immediate darkness and allows you to watch where you’re walking.

You hold the stick high, that way the flames have to work against gravity, eating their way down the branch and giving you more time to take advantage of the light before it burns at your fingertips. Not that you could get burned with your gloves on, anyway, but the slower the branch burns, the easier the fire will be to manage and the longer you could go without finding a new one.

You try to retrace your steps by searching for the Moldbygg’s slime trail, but all the grass here is naturally glossy, making it impossible for you to be able to tell what is a monster’s residue and what isn’t.

You debate calling for help, but decide against it, not wanting to be caught somewhere you shouldn’t be. Again.

Refusing to admit you’re lost, you march on, hoping with all your heart that you’ll somehow find the way back out and not end up walking in circles, but after passing a rather familiar crystal growth for what you think is the twentieth time, you have to admit you’re hopelessly turned around. Your stick has burned down to embers in your palm and you’re feet are sore from walking. Leaning back against the tree, you slump down and sigh.

Well… at least you managed to make yourself tired again. You might as well wait here until someone finds you and suffer the consequences that come.

Hugging your knees, you place your forehead on your arm and take a moment to reflect on your situation. Your throat starts getting tight and your eyes start to well as you think about the mess you’re in. You can feel another round of tears coming on and you don’t try very hard to hold them back.

You’re right in the middle of feeling sorry for yourself when you hear a rustling in the grass. Your sniffing is stopped at once; the fear of danger is enough to silence your crying as you hold your breath and wait for whatever aid or enemy to emerge from the shadows. The grass rustles again, and from it pops out the most curious monster you’ve seen yet.

At first you think it’s the small white dog again. The creature is the same height and color, but upon closer inspection its face is too flat and more cat-like than canine. It’s got dark grey hair on its head in addition to the white fur, and… four ears? You can’t tell if those are floppy ears on the side of its head or just growths of skin. Two more pointed ears peak out from the top of her head. She’s wearing a blue shirt.

“hOi!” she yips. “I’m Temmie!”

The tiny monster extends one foot and it stretches toward you, kinking at sharp right angles, giving the leg more joints than any limb should legally be allowed to have. Magical, extending legs? Maybe this thing is a dog after all.

It dawns on you that she’s expecting a handshake, and tentatively you reach your own arm out to grasp it. She seems friendly enough and you don’t get any threatening vibes from her. You open your mouth to greet her in turn, but your nose starts to tickle half way through the first word.

“Heh-aa-AA-ACHOO!” you sneeze, barely covering your mouth on time. “Hello. I-I’m Chara. Sorry for sneezing.”

Snuffling, you wipe your nose on your sleeve, then wipe your eyes, and then your eyes some more. (Why are they suddenly so itchy?)

“Is k.” Temmie says, brushing off your faux paus. “Temmie herd nother Tem crying and came as fast as she could! Tem always help other Tem in need!”

“Other tem- I’m not a, uh, Temmie,” you guess. It’s not unusual for groups of similar monsters to go by an all-encompassing name, like Froggit or Vegetoid do, and this one did speak in the third person… you think.

Temmie tips her head, bemused.

“Not a Tem? But you ware blue shirt!” she says poking you in the stomach.

“Well, yeah, but-”

“You hav white furr!” She says pointing at your gloves.

“Well, technically, but-”

“You have four ears!” she says lifting up one of the sides of your hat.

“Th-that’s true in a way, but-”

“You are a Tem!” Temmie nods triumphantly. Case closed.

You open your mouth to say something, but get seized by another sneeze.

Ugh. Now your nose is all blocked up and your ears feel like they’re being stuffed with cotton. Head spinning, you decide not to argue anymore.

“Okay, okay, I am a Tem,” you forfeit when an idea suddenly strikes you. “And if Temmies always help other Temmies in need, then can you show me the way back to the main road?”

“Yeah, Yah!! Follow Temmie!” the small dog… cat… thing skips off and you obediently follow, trekking deeper into the pitch black forest.

Keeping Temmie in your sight is hard when it’s so dark you can barely see your own hand an arm’s length from your face, and you don’t think you’d be able to keep track of her if her fur wasn’t so startlingly white. Not to mention that your eyes are watering, and you find yourself constantly stumbling over hidden rocks and roots in your path. Temmie expertly jumps over each invisible obstacle as she prances through the trees. Her pace is not slow, but you still can’t help but wonder why it’s taking so long to get back to the main road. Surely you hadn’t deviated that far from it?

“Hear!” Temmie announces when the trees suddenly break away to a bare rock face. You stop short. This is definitely not the main road. Have you been heading the wrong way the whole time?

“Where are we?” You ask, stupefied. “This isn’t the main street.”

“This is TEM VILLAGE, duh!” Temmie snorts. “It’s a home for all tems!” And with a sharp turn to the right, she disappears from sight. You gasp in astonishment when Temmie vanishes into thin air and hurry over to where she winked away only to find a crack in the wall well hidden from your previous point of view.

Not wanting to be alone in the open, you squeeze through the fissure after her. The walls get uncomfortably tight pressing against your bad shoulder as the corridor gets narrower and narrower. Just when you begin to panic that you’re permanently stuck, the crack widens and you pop out into a large hollow cave.

You trip and stagger, but manage not to fall, and you can’t believe what you see when you look up.

The cavern is fairly large. Dozens of identical Temmies stroll about, chatting with friends or lounging on the floor. The air is filled with joyous greetings of “hOis!” whenever two Temmies happen to collide, and cheerful “bOis!” when they part ways again. A giant stone statue of a Temmie stands proudly in the center of town, and smaller tunnels branch off in the walls leading off to hidden homes and hideaways. The air is happy and peaceful and it brings a tear to your eye.

Wait. No, your eyes and nose are running like the rivers in the glowing water room but you don’t think it’s because you’re being overwhelmed with emotion. Now that you think about it, this is exactly what happens when it’s pollen season in the ruins, or when you go too long not sweeping the dander build up out of your room; you’re having an allergic reaction.

Oh no.

You need to get out of here. Oh geez, you can already feel a migraine coming on. You spin on your heels, ready to crawl back through the crack when you suddenly remember- you still not know the way back to Gerson’s shop.

For a minute you just stand there, head hanging in defeat as you reflect on all your life’s choices that have led you to this moment, sneezing and suffering. Of all the decisions you make, how is it that you keep picking the wrong ones?

You’re stuck at an impasse; Dare you chance finding the way back on your own, completely blind and lost and risk running into more monsters like Moldbygg (or worse, Undyne), or will you suck up your allergies and endure the Temmies who are helpful and nice since they think you are one of their own? Sure, your Temmie had led you astray, but maybe it was a mistake?

Groaning, you turn back around. The Temmie that brought you here has vanished into the sea of other Temmies, but you don’t think she would have been much help anyway. Picking a Temmie at random, you start asking around.

“Um, excuse me.”

“hOi! I’m Temmie!” Greets the Temmie nearest you.

“Uh, hello. Do you know the way to Gerson or Hotland by any chance?”

“Hmmmm… Nop! Try asking my friend!”

“hOi!” Says the Temmie next to Temmie. “I’m Temmie! And this is my friend Temmie!”

“Hi there,” you nod patiently although your sinuses are pounding. “Do you know who Gerson is, and how to get to him?”

“Nu…” Temmie frowns, her ears sagging. Then she perks up again. “But my friend mite! Ask her!”

“hOi!” Says the first Temmie, apparently having already forgotten the two of you have met. “I’m Temmie!”

“And I’m leaving!” you say sarcastically before breaking away from the madness.

None of the other Temmies are any more help as you work your way through the entire town, and only stop when you reach the back of the cavern. You’ve got a throbbing headache and you’re not sure if it’s solely because of your allergies.

Rubbing your temples, you lean against a sign and try to clear your head. When the pounding stops you can take in the lettering more clearly. Once you get past the grammatical errors, you find that you can actually read the words written on it;

“hOi! U shud check out… TEM SHOP!”

A shop? Hope flutters in your chest. Shops might sell maps, or at the very least be run by a capable store owner who should know some basic directions to the other stores in the Underground. It was your best bet, and really, at this point what else did you have to lose? Taking a chance, you head down the corridor.

Like most of the other establishments you’ve encountered in the Waterfall, the store has no door- just a short tunnel to the counter. The room is dimly lit and curiously decorated with odd mismatched trinkets and doodads and worthless bits of trash on the shelves around you that look less like wares for sale and more like the hoard of a packrat. The register sits in the middle of the room (or, uh, cardboard box in this case?) but no one seems to be manning it. Curious, you approach the box, only to step on something round and rubbery, and you practically jump out of your skin when it lets out a shill shriek.

Looking down, you find a squeaky dog toy taped to the floor. Several, in fact, all placed in front of the cardboard counter top, as if they were intentionally put there to be stepped on like a replacement for a desk bell.

The box in front of you rustles, and a head pops up, flinging foam peanuts into the air. It’s, unsurprisingly, another Temmie.

“Hoi! Welcom to… da TEM SHOP!” she greets you. “How kan i help u?”

“Hi, do you by any chance have a map of the Underground, or at least of Waterfall?” You ask quickly, feeling a familiar tickle in your nose that indicated you were about to sneeze.

“Yeah, yeah!!! Tem has… lots a maps! Tems R excellent cartographers!”

“Thank you so much. I’ve been walking in circles for ages. You don’t know how much I need this,” you sigh in relief, and reach into your pocket for your spare change. “Can I have one?”

“Yeah, yeha!¡!” The Temmie dives back down in the box, leaving only her little bobbed tail sticking out. You watch it circle around in the packing peanuts like a periscope for a while until the Temmie pops up again with a piece of folded paper in her mouth. “One map is... one thousand gold!!!”

Your jaw drops. A thousand gold?!

“B-but I’ve only got a hundred forty-five!” you stammer.

“Sry!” Temmie says firmly, keeping her paw on the folded piece of paper. “Tem has to save for colleg. Tuition… not cheap!” She turns up her nose.

Despair threatens to overwhelm you. You can’t tell if you’re crying or if your eyes are just watering so bad from being in close contact with all these Temmies.

“W-wait, are you willing to barter?” You ask desperately.

Temmie opens one eye a tiny sliver. You dig into your pockets, searching for anything of value you could trade, but all you come up with is rocks. You angrily pull one out and place it on the counter to get it out of your way while you look for something better.

Temmie’s eyes go wide as saucers when you present the geode.

“WOAH!” She gasps. “U hav… ROCKS? Tem’s always wanted rocks, but tem has to save for col leg. Hnng! But Tem really gotta have dat rock! Temmie will pay u… a hundred g!”

You pause.

“Really? But Kid told me these things were-” you cut yourself off, a realization dawning on you as something about Temmie behavior suddenly makes a lot more sense. This could be your only way to buy the map, but a hundred gold for each rock wasn’t going to cut it. You only had eight.

“Hmm, I dunno…” you play along as you tap your chin, considering the offer. “This rock wasn’t easy to come by. It has a lot of sentimental value too.”

“P… plz!!!” Temmie sweats. “One-fifty g! Final offers!!”

“Well… I guess I can bear to part with this rock for a hundred-fifty. Deal.”

You pass the rock to Temmie and she dips into the glass jar, which you guess is her till, to fishes out a handful of gold coins to match her price.

“Thanks u!” Temmie sings, proudly placing the stone on a shelf of the knick-knacks and dryer lint behind her.

“My pleasure. I sure will miss that rock, but I’m glad to see it will go to a good home.”

“Yea, Yeah! Tem will take good care of it!”

“Say Temmie…” You trail off and pull out another rock from your pocket. Temmie’s eyes bug as she shifts her pupils from the rock to you. She’s sweating profusely. “Would you like another?”

Six more rocks sold later and you have enough money for the map and still have one rock left over. Temmie seemed absolutely shocked when you placed the grand of gold on the counter and rejoiced that she would now be able to go to “cool leg”. You congratulated her, deciding to refrain from telling her that all the money was hers to begin with, and that you’re walking away with more gold than when you entered.

You grab the map and leave, ready to put this whole ordeal behind you.

Back in the main square, you take a moment to kneel on the ground and unfold the piece of paper. It’s harder to do than you think with only one arm, and when you finally smooth out all the edges, you behold the map to find…

Crayon scribbles.

The paper is covered in crisscrossing lines with no order or direction. There are no land marks, or compass or key, and half the paper is taken up by a huge, crudely drawn self portrait of Temmie.

You flip the paper over, thinking maybe the real map is on the other side and this is just a doodle, a mistake. The other side is blank.

“No… no, no, no, no!” You moan. Two minutes ago you thought you were being crafty in swindling a salesman. Oh how badly you have been played.

Frustrated, you crumple up the map and throw the ball as far as you can. It goes an unsatisfying distance of a couple of feet, but you don’t care as you storm off towards the entrance. Guess you’ll just have to wing it after all.

“Pardon me,” A voice, deep and eloquent, interrupts before you can leave. “I do believe you’ve dropped this.”

You spin around in alarm at the authority of the tone, only to look down in surprise. It’s… another Temmie?

“This belongs to you, does it not?” The Tem holds up the paper ball of your crumpled “map” in one limb that’s thrice as long as the others to reach your height. You swallow and nod, taking the trash from its paw. The leg contracts like a tape measure.

“Ah, good. It is nice to see children taking responsibility for their items. We do not approve of littering here in Temmie Village, but seeing as you are clearly a visitor, I will let you off with a gentle reminder. No sense in punishing those who never learned the rules.”

You stare at the Temmie completely dumbfounded. It smiles up at you, humming mirthfully with a twinkle in its eye.

“Cat got your tongue, young one?”

“You talk… really good,” you say stupidly.

The Temmie’s eyes crinkle as it tries to hide its amusement. “The correct phrasing would be ‘Talk very well’, but adverbs and adjectives can be tricky even for the most fluent speakers. Thank you, young one. I do pride myself on my, shall I say, above average linguistic achievements for my species. Though flaunting such talent is unbecoming of one’s personal image. Dignity and grace are best appreciated when expressed silently.”

Your mouth opens and closes without any sound coming out. You aren’t sure how to respond to that.

“Where are my manners?” The Temmie continues. “I have been conversing with you all this time without even introducing myself. I am Bob.”

“C-Chara,” you reply, crouching down to shake Bob’s tiny paw, despite your better judgement. You sneeze.

“Gesundheit,” Bob says. “And a pleasure to meet you. Though I must ask, what brings you to Temmie Village, young one?”

“I got… lost,” you confess. “I’ve been trying to get directions back to the main road but… no one’s been particularly… helpful.”

“Say no more, young one,” Bob nods knowingly. “I can assist you.”

“You can show me the way?” you ask, your spirits soaring.

“Oh yes. Though I as much as I wish to guide you, I assume being in my presence will just cause you physical discomfort, will it not?”

You reluctantly nod and hand your head in shame. “Sorry.”

“No need to apologize, young one. We cannot control what we are allergic to. Listen close and I will describe to you the route you need.

“When you leave this place, take the first left you come across and follow it as far as you can go. The turn should be about twenty paces from our cavern entrance. Then turn right and head straight until you reach a dead end. Take one more right followed by two immediate lefts, and you’ll be back amongst civilization. Understood?”

“I think so,” you nod, your eyes burning from all the fur in the air. Left, straight, right, straight, right, left, left. It shouldn’t be too hard to memorize.

“Then you’d best be off, small one! Quick before your eyes and nose permanently turn against you!” Bob says, turning to go on his way. “I wish you luck, and may we both see the day our paths cross again!”

You wave farewell and make for the exit, ready to put this nightmare of a detour behind you. Your eyes and nostrils start to un-swell almost immediately when you squeeze back out through the fissure and you breathe deep, never more thankful in your life to have clear sinuses.

Right. Now to get back on track. You don’t see any other useful sticks on the ground that you could use as a torch. Guess you’re going in blind like the first time.

The first step in Bob’s directions was to take twenty steps and turn left. You start walking, straining your eyes as hard as you can to look for pathways in the pitch-black darkness. When you’ve mentally counted to twenty, you turn and began to feel around for the trail. With a hand sticking straight out in front of you, all you come across is more underbrush, too thick to push through, and your anxiety begins to resurface.

You didn’t mess up Bob’s directions, had you? Maybe you were supposed to turn right instead of left? You spin around a hundred and eighty degrees and poke about the other side of the road to see if you come across the correct path, but this side is just as dense a tangle of grass and bushes as the left side. You try not to double guess yourself. No, Bob had definitely said to go left first, and then straight. Right? Right. Twenty paces. Oh wait, what if those paces had been in Temmie proportions? You would have passed the turn ages ago if that were the case.

You remind yourself not to panic and start to back track. There was no need to get worked up. You walked in a straight line, so you could easily find your way back to Temmie Village and start over if you needed to. You could even go back in, find Bob again and have them repeat the directions to you. No need to freak out yet.

You walk blindly in the dark with your arm stretched out, waiting to hit the rock wall that marked your starting point. You mentally count back from twenty to recount your steps, but when you start getting into the negative numbers, alarm bells start to ring.

This isn’t right. You should have hit the wall by now. There were no other paths to take or accidentally turn down. How could you mess up something as simple as just walking in a straight line? Wait, did you remember to turn left or right when you started to back track? You had been facing the right side of the road instead of the left, so that meant you should have turned right one more time to make sure you had correctly lined yourself up again. Had you turned left and walked even further from Temmie Village?

Completely turned around, you keep walking in a vain attempt to stop yourself from having a break down. If you froze now, you would just completely shut down again and put yourself back at square one. Just keep walking until you hit something and you could orient yourself from there.

The path ends when you run smack dab into a tree, shaking loose a few barely-glowing pine needles that rain down on your head. Okay. A tree. You’ll use this as a starting point. The path here bends sharply right and it looks like the only way to go. You decide to follow it and stay right at every turn until you either stumble out of the forest or reach another dead end. It seemed as full-proof a plan as any.

You turn right and walk, and before long you find yourself at another bend that turns right again. That’s good. Bob’s directions said you’d have to make two right turns in a row. Maybe you accidentally found the right path after all.

You walk as far as you can, keeping an eye out for any signs of the foliage thinning or any hints of life beyond the trees, but find none. At least this path only seems one way. It would be very hard to get turned around on a road so narrow. When the path bends right for a third time, though, you start to get worried that you’re walking in a circle, or box rather. Aw geez, you weren’t going to end up back where you started at the tree, were you?

The trail is short and turns sharply left before you could find out. You keep following it as it’s the only way to go, and your hopes rise when you think you see light building around the next corner and hear a faint hum of quiet conversation. Could it be? People and magic? You pick your pace and round the curve in excitement, only to stop short in awe.

Before you lays a field of echo flowers, each as tall as you, glowing a bright cyan blue, and whispering softly to one another. Standing on top of a slight ridge, you can see they all grow so tightly packed together that they look more like an ocean than a meadow. You think you’d be disappointed you’re still lost if you weren’t so captivated by the surreal beauty of it all.

It occurs to you that this is far from the correct way back to Gerson’s shop, but it’s simultaneously further into Waterfall than you’ve been yet. And from your slight vantage point you think you spy the slightest trace of a warm red glow at the other end of the field reflecting off the tiny waterfalls flowing around the cavern’s edges.

It could just be your eyes playing tricks on you, you remind yourself. Your brain desperately looking for something it wants to see. Or maybe, just maybe, it was a beacon to light the way out.

Once again you find yourself at a crossroads. Literally. Still standing on your little ridge, you debate which path to take. Turn back now and figure out the way back to Gerson’s shop? Or bumble along blindly through the echo flowers to what might be Hotland. You weight the pros and cons of both options. Going forward you can’t get lost; you could just leave an audible trail for you to follow back through the flowers. But if that dim light at the other end of the tunnel isn’t Hotland, what would you do then? Wonder around even longer, getting even MORE off track? Your other choice was to turn back now, find your way back to the main road and have Kid guide you. It would definitely guarantee you wouldn’t get lost again, and assure you had a trusted guide to Hotland, but it would also mean having to be in close proximity to Undyne…

On reflection you don’t know why you thought this would be a hard choice.

You forge head into the flowers without even glancing back.

Undyne wakes up early out of sheer force of habit. Normally the first thing she does in the morning is go for one or two or twenty laps around Waterfall, maybe do twelve dozen pushups or perhaps a couple hundred chin up and a few thousand crunches just to get herself warmed up.

Not today, though. Today she was stuck with babysitting duty.

Sleeping in her armor was uncomfortable, but she had no other choice having worn nothing casual or appropriate to compensate for the heat she generated in her suit underneath the metal exterior.

Groaning, Undyne stretches and yawns. If she acted quickly, she could sprint back home and change into something more suitable for Hotland’s extreme temperatures before she took the punk to their doctor’s appointment. Hell, she’d pretty much have to if she didn’t want to faint from heat stroke as soon as she crossed over into the volcanic region.

Hmm, while she was at home, she might as well grab breakfast. No doubt Gerson would offer to feed her, but she couldn’t impose-

“Undyne!” Kid shouts and frantically raps on her door. “Undyne get up quick! It’s an emergency!”

Undyne is out of bed in less than a second at the sound of Kid’s panicked tone. She opens the door so fast she almost rips it off the hinges.

“What’s wrong? Where’s the danger? Did someone fall down?”

“M-my friend!” Kid hyperventilates, close to tears. “Th-they’re gone!”

“Gone?” Undyne echoes in confusion.

“I-I woke up because I h-had to go to the bathroom, a-and noticed they w-weren’t on the couch!” Kid stammers. “I ch-checked the whole house, b-but they’re not here!”

Shit. Fuck. The ONE time she lets her guard down and looks the other way, the brat goes AWOL on her. After all those crocodile tears they shed last night? She should have known it was all a ruse! She should have guessed it was all a trick!

“Undyne,” Kid says solemnly as she searches for her helmet. “They were really upset yesterday after Napstablook told them their mom wasn’t coming. They became completely detached, a-and I couldn’t help but think of my sister because she gets that way sometimes too when she’s really upset.”

He looks at her, serious, worried. Undyne’s anger drains away to actual dread.

“Wh-what if they ran away to-”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence,” Undyne orders. “We’ll find them, okay? They don’t know their way around Waterfall. They can’t have gone far.”

“But they could have been gone for hours by now! A-and it’s not really hard to find a way to… disappear in Waterfall…”

Kid had a point. The punk may not know Waterfall very well but they did know how to get to the dump where bottomless drop offs could sweep you away without a trace. Kid drawing a parallel to Alphys hits too close to home for her, and for a moment she put her in their shoes. Nobody, human or monster, should ever be forced to conclude the only solution to a problem like that is to remove themselves from the equation.

“Kid, go wake Gerson,” Undyne orders as she adjusts the fit of her boots. “Tell him what you told me. I’m gonna call your sister to check if she’s seen anything then I’ll go check the dump.”

“Got it!” Kid nods and runs off down the hall.

Alphys almost doesn’t pick up when Undyne calls her from Gerson’s phone. It was an unholy hour in the morning to be calling someone, so she should have figured, but on her fourth redial Undyne finally gets through.

“Hello?” the lizard answers groggily, her voice slurring like a drunk.

“Alphys! It’s me!”

“Oh, Undyne!” Alphys perks up, suddenly sounding a lot more sober. “What a surprise! I n-never expected you to call so early.”

“Yeah, I kinda figured. But that’s not important right now! The punk ran away again last night! I need your help to find them.”

“W-w-what?! They’re gone!? But why? D-do you think it was a ploy? Do you think they sleep walk? Gosh, I decide to take one little nap and I miss something big! Oh why did I think resting my eyes was a good idea!”

“Alphys, focus! I need you to look back through your security tapes to tell me which way they could have gone.”

“C-can do, Undyne! B-but it might take me a while-”

“That’s okay. I’m gonna circle the dump a couple of times then come back to Gerson’s to check again, but if you find out anything, call back here right away, got it?”

“Uh, o-okay? I don’t see what good it will do calling back if you’re not here, b-but will do, Undyne! Bye!”

The line goes dead and Undyne hangs up the receiver just as Kid makes his way back into the room.

“Yo! I told Gerson like you asked! He said he’d go check the neighborhood.”

“Good job, Kid. I’m heading out now. I’ll be back in a few.”

“Wait!” Kid interrupts her before she could leave. “What about me? What am I supposed to do?”

“You ,” Undyne says, lightly poking him in the chest. “Are gonna wait here and listen for any phone calls. I asked your sister to look through the security footage of last night. If she finds any clues that can tell us where the punk went, she’s gonna call back here and I need someone here to answer her.”

“But-! They’re my friend, Undyne! I can’t just sit around here waiting! I should be out there searching with you! I want to help too!”

“You will be helping, Kid! When your sister calls back here, come find me and tell me immediately, okay? In the meantime, I can’t have two children getting lost on my watch. Got it?”

Frowning, Kid averts his eyes, but stays silent. It was clear to Undyne he didn’t like being left behind, but he reluctantly did what he was told.

“Kid, I’ll probably be back before your sister even gets a chance to call me. And when I do come back, we can go look for them together, alright?”

Kid nods halfheartedly and stays put. Undyne watches him for a second before turning out the door. She didn’t have time to linger. She had a human to find.

Kid watches Undyne hurry out the door. Gerson wasn’t far behind, though his pace was much less urgent. He hobbled like he had all the time in the world, wearing lazy smile on his face like he was going for an early morning stroll instead of looking for a lost person.

Kid wouldn’t deny he was the least bit annoyed. His friend was lost and maybe scared and definitely hurting in more ways than one, and yet the old tortoise was moving like a… well, like a tortoise!

Kid pouts. He couldn’t stay here tapping his tail and waiting for news to come to him! He had to be out there! Searching like the others! Not all monsters in Waterfall were as friendly as Gerson or Undyne. He had to find them before they got hurt! Or worse, before they hurt themselves.

The phone rings. Kid jumps to his feet immediately and answers before the first chime even finishes.

“Sis?”

“K-kid? W-what are you doing at Gerson’s shop? Do Mom and Dad know you’re there?”

“I spent the night here! But that’s not important. Did you find my friend?”

“I… Yes-! Well, yes and no-, I mean- I know which way they went but I don’t know where they are n-now.”

“Well tell me what you do know,” Kid asks, his tail thumping in irritation. “Undyne told me to relay any news to her so we can find them as fast as we can!”

“My tapes s-say they left the shop around three a.m. this morning, and they went East into E-echo Flower Forest. They still must be in there, though. I don’t have any cameras in the forest bec-cause it’s too dark, but they didn’t come back out and I haven’t seen them cross over into Hotland yet.”

Kid goes silent on the line. Echo Flower Forest was just down the road! He could catch up to them within minutes!

“Kid? You still there?”

“I’m still here,” Kid answers distantly. “Thanks for all your help, sis. I’m gonna go after them.”

“Kid! No! Stay where you are! Let Undyne take care of it!”

“I can’t, Alphys! They’re my friend and they need me! And I’m gonna be there for them!” Kid argues fervently before calming his temper. “Don’t worry, sis. I know Waterfall inside and out! I’ll be okay, and we’ll both be in Hotland before you know it! Alright?”

“Kid! Don’t-!” But Kid never heard his sister finish her sentence as he put the phone on the receiver and scampered out the door.

Two laps around the junk yard and Undyne returns to Gerson’s shop with nothing to show for it.

The fact that she didn’t have any proof that the punk had gone to the garbage dump should have been reassuring for her, but sadly it wasn’t. Just because she didn’t find anything, didn’t prove that the kid hadn’t gone that way. If anything, it only proved that they had left no trace behind.

The phone is ringing when she steps into the back room and Undyne is quick to answer.

”-pick up this time, please pick up this time, please pick up this time, please-”

“Alphys?” Undyne speaks up over the scientist’s nervous mantra.

“Undyne! Oh thank God you answered! I feel like I’ve been trying to get through for ages!”

“Sorry about that,” Undyne apologizes. Where the hell was Kid? She thought he’d agree to answer the phone for her. Ugh! She knew she should have made him promise to stay out!

”Undyne, listen, I know which way the human went, but you need to catch up to them quick!”

“Why? Which way did they go?”

”East. Very deliberately it seems, but they haven’t reached your arena yet. My brother ran after them.”

East. Undyne mentally exhales in relief. That was towards Hotland, and the exact opposite direction of the dump and it’s many bottomless drop offs.

“We did tell them they have a doctor’s appointment with you today. You think they’re on their way to you?”

”I… well, I don’t know about that, but Mettaton knows there in the Underground now, and if the human does get as far as Hotland without you, things are probably going to go south real quick. I told him not to tell the rest of the Underground, but you know how he can’t keep a secret!”

“Right. I’m on it. I’ll catch up to them and keep that robotic nuisance at bay.”

The warrior hangs up the receiver, retreats from the shop, and jogs into the forest.

Echo flowers, as it turns out, do not make good trail markers.

The flowers grow so close together, that if you tried to whisper a message in one, it wasn’t long before the little plant shared its tidbit with the twenty flowers around it. How would you be able to follow your path back if every flower in the marsh said the same thing?

You tried to find a work around; whispering extra softly, speaking to only the most secluded flowers, but each blossom turned out to be a terrible gossip, swaying and bending as if weighed down by the secret spoken to it and just itching to pass it on.

You give up rather quickly when you realize this won’t work and instead try to focus on memorizing the snippets of conversation the flowers already carried. And while you’re positive that the flowers must have distorted some of the dialog over time, you can’t help but feel like some of their messages are a bit… ominous.

“Be… ware…” Whispers one flower, bowing to your ear.

Your hair stands on end. Beware of what? Pssh, no, there’s nothing to beware of here. There’s only flowers around you as far as you can see.

”Watch… out…” Another flower sighs.

A shiver runs down your spine, and your palms start to sweat. You remind yourself it’s just old, repeated words the plants are saying, nothing to be afraid of. Still, you find yourself glancing over your shoulder. You swear you saw something move out of the corner of your eye…

”It’s… coming!” A third flower warns and you think you hear a twig snap. You spin around, slapping yourself in the face with the ears of your hat in the process. The grass rustles up ahead. Your heart is pounding. Something’s out there.

“H-hello?” You call out, your voice shockingly loud compared to the muted voices of the flowers.

”Hello?” “Hello?” “Hello?” the flowers echo back.

The shifting grass stops. Maybe it was just a breeze. Or maybe the other person heard you and doesn’t want you to know that they’re there.

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you begin to back away… as slowly… as carefully… as you can, never taking your eyes off the last place you saw the flower stalks bend and sway. All around you, the flowers feel like they’ve gone silent.

You take a step… and then another… and then another… and then your back hits something solid.

You scream and jump. The solid thing screams and jumps. You whip around and find-!

“Kid?” you blurt out, gasping as the startled lizard picks himself up off the floor. He blinks at you a bit, his pupils wide in surprise.

“Y-yo! Hey! I found you!” His face breaks out into an enormous grin. “Dude, you’re alright! Oh, man, we were so worried!” He head-butts you on your good side. “I thought-! I thought you snuck out do go do something stupid… Why’d you run away, bro?”

“I… I didn’t mean to,” you say. “I had a… bad dream and went for a walk to take my mind off it, and ended up getting lost. Sorry for making you worry.”

“It’s alright, dude! I’m just glad to know you’re safe. C’mon, we can head back to Undyne and-“

“No!” you shout reflexively. “I… I can’t go back to Undyne, Kid. She’s dangerous.”

“Well, of course she’s dangerous. She’s the Captain of the Royal Guard! That’s why we should stick with her through the rest of Waterfall, and-“

“No, Kid,” you try to explain. “She’s dangerous to me. Yesterday on the bridges… and when we were sparring… I don’t know why, but I think she was trying to hurt me. I know she was.”

Kid’s face goes from curious to concerned.

“But… why would she want to do that? You’re a kid like me, not a criminal. In fact, she’s out looking for you right now!”

You can feel your face visibly blanch at the thought of Undyne hunting you down. Kid sees it too.

“I dunno, but… do you think you could just show me the rest of the way to Hotland? We’re already pretty far, right? We can do it without Undyne’s help, can’t we?”

“Y-yeah…” Kid says slowly. “It’s just two more rooms after this. Follow me.”

“Thank you,” you say, relieved, and fall in line with Kid as he guides you through the flowers.

Undyne summons a spear to light her way. The glowing green javelin casts long shadows in the forest and illuminates the eyes of the night creatures hidden in the thicket, watching her with care.

She combs the woods but comes up with neither the human nor the royal scientist’s little brother. After deeming the area clear, she turns towards the meadow, home to the namesake of Echo Flower Forest.

Standing on the rise, she scans over the flowers’ tops, searching for any sign of movement. Even from up here she can hear the eerie sounds of the flowers’ chatter.

Ugh. She hated this room. She always had. Detached voices talking to no one wasn’t cool, it was creepy. The flowers sounded more like wailing spirits who failed to pass on rather than recordings of people she knew. She could never understand the other kids’ fascination with them.

Cautiously, the warrior begins to pick her way down into marsh. Her feet sink into the bog, swamp water sucking at her heavy metal boots like drowning hands trying to drag her down with them. When she steps into a particularly soggy patch of bog, Undyne has to stop to yank her foot free, all the while the flowers whine and moan around her.

”Where are you? Where are you?” a flower asks on repeat when she lurches her foot free. Sweat beads on her brow. The voice sounded like a kid, but warped by time, the words sounded haunting.

”I’m over here,” another flower responds, as Undyne tries to circumvent the plants and their spooky game of telephone.

”Come find me!” a third flower teases a ways off. Undyne makes a point not head towards it, and instead approaches a quieter patch to calm her rapid pulse.

”Ssshhhhh!” several flowers hiss at her at once when she bumps into them. Startled, the warrior flinches and staggers back, right into a cluster that explodes with laughter when she stumbles.

Panting, Undyne’s one eye darted around. Throat dry and scales clammy, she found she couldn’t calm her nerves. This was starting to be a bit too much. These freaky flowers needed to shut up quick before she decided to some weed whacking with her lance.

There’s a scream off in the distance and Undyne almost launches clean out of her armor. That scream wasn’t from a flower, though. It was real, it was close, and it sounded familiar.

Straining her ears, Undyne pin points the source. It’s half way across the field. Putting her feelings about the unsettling flowers aside, Undyne charges fourth towards the noise, summoning a spear at the ready. When she catches a flash of Kid’s yellow scales, she puts on a burst of speed and practically explodes from the flowers before him.

“Kid!” She shouts, her voice quaking with alarm. She quickly toughens her tone to hide her fear, not wanting to look weak in front of anybody, especially him. “I thought I told you to wait at Gerson’s for me! Don’t you know how dangerous it is to wonder off!”

“U-undyne!” Kid startles, tripping over himself as he turns around. It’s then Undyne notices the human cowering by his side, trying to appear as inconspicuous as possible. “I-I’m sorry, but I couldn’t stand waiting around doing nothing! I had to-!”

“YOU!” the royal guard interrupts and turns on the human. “What were you thinking running away last night?!”

“I-I wasn’t-“

“Damn right you weren’t!” Undyne cuts them off. “Do you know how dangerous that was? How worried you made everyone?”

“I’m sorry,” they whimper. “I didn’t mean to.”

“So why’dja do it then?!”

“I-“

Undyne catches the punk’s eyes flick from hers to her spear and she notices something that wasn’t there a before; a new sort of wariness, a new type of caution. Now why would that be there if the punk had accidentally got lost?

“I had a nightmare and accidentally wandered into the woods,” they say, not looking at her. Undyne narrows her eye suspiciously.

They’re lying.

“Well your little stunt certainly wasted most of my morning.” Undyne scoffs. “Might as well keep going to Hotland since we’re already eighty percent there.”

“Sorry,” the brat apologizes again, and starts to move to the back of the line.

“Oh, no you don’t, punk. You should walk in front. That way I can make sure you don’t get lost again.”

The human swallows, the apprehension clear on their face, but they move to the front without arguing. Kid joins them to lead the way.

The air is tense between the three of them as they march in silence, fueled by the glares Undyne sends out that boar into the back of the human’s skull. She doesn’t notice her own blatant staring, though, too lost in her thoughts trying to puzzle together the punk’s behavior.

They were lying about having a nightmare and roaming off. So did that mean she was initially right? Had they intentionally tried to sneak away? Was it all a big act? Undyne grinds her teeth together. There still wasn’t enough proof, but her misgivings were growing. She needed to expose them once and for all, and she needed to do it quick.

Kid tries to make conversation to lighten the mood.

“Oh man! I can’t wait for you to meet my sister! She’s the smartest monster in the Underground and a doctor! I bet she’ll be able to make you better in ten seconds flat!” he boasts, puffing out his chest with pride.

“Do you really think your sister can fix my shoulder?” the brat asks.

“Of course she can, squirt!” Undyne pipes up from her daze, insulted that anyone would dare doubt Alphys and ready to defend her honor. “Alphys can do anything she sets her mind to! That’s why she’s the royal scientist! She’s the best!”

Kid smirks and gives the punk a “can you believe this?” kind of look.

“Yeah, you and my sister are really close, aren’t you Undyne?” he asks. “What else is she good at?”

“Everything!” Undyne answers definitively. “Alphys is, like, the third most knowledgeable person on humans in all the Underground, plus she’s responsible for bring us the UnderNet connection and hooking up every monster with cell phone by building them out the spare parts she finds in the dump! She’s taught me everything I need to know when encountering humans.”

“Sounds like you really like her,” the brat says carefully, testing the waters for safe places to tread.

“Well, DUH! Who wouldn’t like Alphys? She’s wicked smart and passionate about her work! She has dedication and drive! I’m surprised she’s not constantly having to step over monsters who come to bask in her glory!”

“Wow, have you told her any of this?” Kid says. “Imagine how cool it would be to see the captain of the Royal Guard date my sister! You’d be like, my in-law! That would be SO COOL!”

At that, Undyne blushes and falters. “Ha, ha! Y-yeah, Kid. Wouldn’t that be something. Unfortunately I’m probably not what Alphys is looking for.”

“What makes you say that?” the brat asks, genuinely curious.

“Alphys is just so…! Out of my league! She probably wants to date someone who has a quadruple digit IQ like her, or someone who can reverse engineer a particle accelerator or something. She’s probably looking for someone more her speed if she’s looking at all.”

“Well, let’s just ask her what she’s looking for when we get to Hotland.” Kid suggests, skipping ahead a few paces as the forest thins back into bare caverns. “I bet you two have some common interests.”

“Yeah, of course we do!” Undyne exclaims indignantly as the trio exit the field of flowers and onto a rickety old bridge spanning across a chasm.

“Really? Like what?”

“Like anime!” The warrior scoffs and raises her head high. “It’s the epitome of human behavior and Alphys has all the best kinds! She’s let me watch them all and everything I’ve learned about human culture I’ve learned from those documentaries!”

“Oh, that’s neat,” The punk says as Undyne’s training arena comes into view. Hotland isn’t even visible yet she already feels like she’s being cooked alive. “I’ve never heard of anime before. Maybe you can show me one before I go back home with the King?”

“Right!”

Wait. The King? That’s right, this punk was on their way to infiltrate the King’s castle and she had almost lead them right to the front door! RAUGH! How could she have been so stupid?! Yet again this human found a way to weasel past her defenses and mess with her mind! And by getting her to go on about Alphys of all things!

This was the third time they’ve gotten into her head! There was no way she could let this thing go to Hotland where she couldn’t follow! She couldn’t let them reach Asgore!

“No.”

Kid and the brat are half way across the bridge when she utters the word, low and cold.

Kid stops first when he notices Undyne has stopped following.

“Undyne?” he cocks his head. “Is something the matter?”

Instead of a response, Undyne charges, calling forth a long spear to catapult over Kid and onto the bridge. The wooden planks buck and shudder and the human and Kid are knocked off their feet.

The punk instinctively throws out their arms to catch themselves and yelp when they hit their bad side. Tears prick the corners of their eyes.

“You’ve distracted me for the last time, punk.”

“U-Undyne?”

“Don’t move. I’m not letting you progress any farther, especially not to Asgore.”

Behind her, Kid blinks in a daze and rolls over to push himself up. Unaware of his surroundings, one foot slips off the edge of the bridge. He inhales sharply and lets out a strangled cry as his lower half slides off the edge, his feet kicking but finding no purchase.

“H-help! Dude! Undyne! I-I’m slipping!”

The brat’s head snaps down to Kid and their face goes white as snow.

“Undyne. Kid’s falling. Quick, you’re closer; you’ve got to help him!”

“Like I’d turn my back on you!” Undyne growls. “You can’t trick me anymore! We settle this here and now!”

“Undyne, I don’t know what you’re talking about!” They plead, desperate and angry.

Kid’s struggling becomes more frantic as his torso gives away, leaving him hanging on his chin.

“D-dudes! Help! I can’t hold on much longer!”

“I’ll be with you in a second, Kid! I have to deal with them first!” Undyne calls over her shoulder, without taking her eye off her target. She readies her stance. “So what’s it gonna be, punk? Fight or flee?”

“Neither!” The human shouts at her. “Undyne what are you doing!? Kid’s going to fall!”

Undyne narrows her eye, calculating her opponent. Now that she’s separated them from their living shield the brat had only two options; fight here or run away. And judging by their posture they looked ready to sprint. Undyne bites back a smile. The second they’d move, she’d let their spear fly.

“I-I’m losing my grip!” Kid cries.

The punk meets her gaze one final time, and just like she predicted, the kid bolts, and Undyne unleashes her spear.

Except, the brat didn’t run away like she hoped. They ran toward her.

The miscalculation means Undyne’s spear completely misses its mark and harmlessly sails over the human’s head as they dive between her legs like a base runner.

“HEEELP!”

Without thinking, they lurch their left arm forward and manage to snag Kid’s sweater just as his hold on the edge gives away.

All of his weight drops down on their bad arm at once. There’s a sickening pop! heard by all three, and the human shouts, short and sharp before biting down on their tongue and their pupils shrink to pin points.

Tears running down their cheeks, the punk grabs a fist full of Kid’s shirt with their other hand, braces their left foot against the wood, and reels themselves backwards, hauling kid back up in the process.

For several heartbeats nobody moves or says anything. Undyne stares in shock as the two kids take a moment to do nothing but breathe.

“You… saved my skin,” Kid pants, still trembling form the ordeal. “That sound your shoulder made wasn’t pretty. You okay, dude?”

The human nods, not looking up from their hands and knees. After what feels like an eternity, they manage to raise their head and look over at Undyne. Their expression makes her freeze.

Undyne is used to monsters looking upon her like she’s the sun itself. She’s also used to monsters looking at her with hatred or fear.

But she can’t recall someone ever looking at her completely disgusted.

The punk seethes and stands up to their full height, not breaking eye contact with her for a second. Was it finally happening? The battle the brat had strived to avoid? Where they now finally going to give in and fight? Finally done running away and hiding behind shields were they?

Raw magic crackled at the warrior’s finger tips, waiting to be shaped. The human inhaled.

“Undyne,” The human says clear and commanding, no longer a trace of fear in their voice. The magic thickened in Undyne’s palm. Here it comes.

“I’m sorry, alright?”

Wait- what.

“Whatever I did to make you hate me, I apologize, okay?”

What? No, this isn’t what was supposed to happen. They were supposed to charger her, lash out, and fight her with their true strength. What are they doing? Another ruse? Another scheme?

“I know I can’t make everyone like me,” the punk goes on, their fingers curling into fists. “I kept trying to get on your good side, but I can see now you’re not gonna let that happen no matter what I do. So, fine! Go ahead and hate me then! But don’t let other people get hurt because of whatever you have against me!”

They stare each other down for a bit, but as hard as Undyne searches, she can’t find even the smallest hint of an ulterior motive in their gaze. The punk was exposing themselves here and now with all they had, completely honest for all to see.

Their hands are shaking when they finish their speech, and they clench and unclench their fingers in distress. Kid tiptoes up to their side and tentatively nudges their arm. The touch is enough to make the tension leave their shoulders and they exhale, bushed.

“Undyne, thank you for getting me this far to Hotland, but I think Kid and I can make it from here. C’mon, Kid. Let’s go.”

The human passes Undyne without so much as a second glance while Kid looks over his shoulder with a mixture of pity and disbelief. He turns away when he catches her staring and hangs his head.

She can’t understand. Why wouldn’t they retaliate? The punk had the perfect time to strike, but instead they’re acting like… like...!

Like how a monster would act…

And all the while she kept attacking first the way the humans had.

“Punk… wait,” Undyne calls after them, reaching out a hand to grab them by the shoulder. The human stops, eyeing her skeptically. They don’t say anything, waiting for her to speak.

“I’m… I’m sorry too,” Undyne admits. “All this time I thought you were lying about who you were… pretending to be someone else. I can see now that was never the case and I misjudged you. Can you… can you forgive me?”

The punk looks away, their lips drawn into a thin line, as their fists curl and uncurl, and Undyne realizes that they have to actually think about their answer.

“How about… a truce instead?” they offer after the silence dragged on to uncomfortable levels. “I’ll stay out of your way if you stay out of mine. I’ll go to the King and back to the Ruins and you’ll never have to see or hear from me again. Would that make you happy?”

Undyne looks down, crestfallen. They weren’t exactly forgiving her, but she guessed she deserved it.

“Deal,” she sighs halfheartedly.

“Thank you… for the apology.” They tell her. “And I’m sorry we couldn’t be better friends. Maybe we’ll get it right next time.”

“Yeah…” Undyne exhales and gets to her feet. Geez, even from here she can feel the heat from Hotland. She can’t go any farther than this without roasting alive in this tin can she calls armor. She’d better start heading back home before she became an actual fish stick.

Undyne lingers back as the two friends head off through her arena and into the next district. Sans should be waiting at his station to meet them like he said he would, but knowing him Undyne figures she’d better call ahead just in case.

Gerson is there to greet her when she returns to his shop.

“So! Any luck?” he asks, not particularly waiting on the edge of his seat.

“Yeah…” Undyne says.

“Well you could have fooled me! That’s not exactly the tone of someone who successfully found a lost person. How’d it go?”

“I… They’re on their way to Hotland.”

“What’s that?” Gerson teases, cupping his hand to his ear. “Did you say that you, the renowned Undyne, let her quarry get away?”

“No, I intentionally let them go. Sans was right.” Undyne says moving closer to the phone. She takes the receiver but hesitates to call the number. “Gerson, do you think I made the right choice?” She asks her old mentor.

“Hm, let me answer your question with another question,” Gerson says. “What makes you doubt you made a wrong one?”

“Well, for starters I watched them risk their life save another monster that they barely knew for two days, and then, even though I know they were scared, they stood up to me for not doing anything.” She gives the old tortoise a sheepish look. “They were more upset that someone else almost got hurt than they were worried about themselves getting hurt. How many other monsters do you know who are like that?”

The warrior sighs and rubs her neck. “The way they looked at me after they saved Kid… They knew I was out to get them in the end. They may not have known why, but they knew I was, and in the end when they had the choice fight they decided to speak. When they had the option to run, they chose to stay and help… When they looked at me, for a second I didn’t know who the real bad guy was.”

“Well, it sounds like to me you made the right choice then,” Gerson says sympathetically.

“But Gerson, they’re the last piece we need to set all of monsterkind free! Is it right to deny the emancipation of thousands solely because one human turns out to be good? Did I just damn us all to be trapped in the Underground even longer because I saw something that resonated with me in the eyes of one child?”

“Do you feel damned, Undyne?”

“What? No... I don’t think so.”

“Well, then neither will anyone else once they all get to know this kid, so you needn’t worry.”

“I do feel guilty, though,” Undyne confesses.

“What for?”

“For almost killing someone who’s a better monster than I am.”

The old tortoise nods knowingly and lets the conversation drop. Undyne turns towards the wall and dials her sentry’s number.

Sans almost didn’t hear his phone ring underneath all the barking. Struggling to get out of the five leads, he frees up his hand and pulls out his cell from his coat pocket. The phone almost falls up into the snow but he manages to catch it in time. Once free of the muffling fabric, the ringtone sang loud and clear.

♫A turtle lives in water, a tortoise lives on land, a turtle's not tortoise, it’s not hard to understand♪

Oh that’s weird. Why is Gerson calling?

Bringing the phone up to his skull, Sans thumbs the screen and hits “accept call”.

“Yeah?”

”I couldn’t do it.”

Sans isn’t sure if it’s the fact that Undyne answered or if it’s her word choice that makes him say; “Come again?”

”The kid. The human. You were right. They don’t have a clue about who they are. You won.”

“That’s what Paps and I have been trying to say this whole time,” Sans says, following up with a muffled (“Hey! You! Cut it out! Leave the mail carrier alone!”) If Undyne had heard she didn’t say so.

”Anyway, Kid and the punk are headed to your station. You should see them in a couple of minutes. Make sure they get to Alphys in one piece, okay?”

“Gee, I’d love to Undyne, really, but -ngfh!- I’m not at my post right now.”

”What? What do you mean you’re not at your post?! Being a sentry is your fucking job!”

“I know, I know, but I, uh, really screwed the pooch yesterday when I forgot I made a certain promise and then got some visitors at my station. And instead of letting sleeping dogs lie, they made me hightail it back to Snowdin and now I’m a little tied up compensating with some overdue quality time with the canine guard unit.”

”SANS, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT, BUT I CAN TELL WHEN YOU’RE MAKING PUNS, SO YOU’D BETTER CUT IT OUT RIGHT NOW OR YOU’RE FIRED!” Undyne rages. “Just… when do you think you’ll be able to return to your station?”

“That depends. How long does it take to walk five dogs? That’s not a set up for a joke, by the way. I’ve been on this walk for hours. Please, send help.” Sans can practically hear Undyne rubbing her temples as she exhales into the receiver.

“I’ll be over there in a few. Just give me a minute to grab some squeaky toys.”

“Sounds good. I’ll be… hanging around.”

”That better have not been a visual gag. I can’t even see you right now.”

“…”

”Oh my God, it was, wasn’t it?”

“Maybe.”

”Sans! If I arrive in Snowdin and find you LITERALLY TIED UP, I will terminate you on the spot!”

“Oh, come on, Undyne. Haven’t you barked up the wrong tree enough for one day?”

“YOU’RE THREATENING TO MAKE PAPYRUS AN ONLY CHILD, SANS!”

“I kid, I kid,” Sans chuckles. “See you in a few, Undyne.”

With that, Sans ends the call. He turns his head to focus on the five dogs intently circling the base of a tree, upside down in his field of view. Their leashes have tangled into one giant knot, with Sans hanging off one of the low branches, wrapped up tight like one of Muffet’s customers. It’s a good thing he doesn’t have any blood that could have rushed to his head, or else he would have a major headache from hanging upside down so long in this tether-cocoon the dogs have twisted him up into. The events leading up to this moment had not been quite as funny as the final outcome, but he had tried to make light of it anyway.

“Hey, guys,” Sans whistles to get their attention. “I think that squirrel you all went after is long gone. Mind helping me down now?”

#my writing #you monster #undertale #fan fiction

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