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cheri-translates · 4 years

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[CN] S2 Gavin - The STF Filming Project (Eng Translation)

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a company project which has not been released in other servers!🍒

Do note that this post features S2 Gavin, but doesn’t contain S2 spoilers.

Timeline: The Guardian Project -> The STF Filming Project -> Dangerous Night Date

[ CHAPTER ONE ]

The brilliance of dawn filters through the shutters, illuminating the office.

The fingers tapping on the keyboard are slightly sore. I stretch. Without realising it, it’s already daybreak.

Displayed on the screen is the collaborative filming proposal I’ve been working on for several nights in a row, spanning over a hundred pages -- “A day in the Special Task Force”.

Previously, [MC’s Company Name], the government, and the STF’s collaborative criminal documentary received a surge of good reviews.

The audience also developed a huge curiosity and fervour regarding the daily life of STF members.

I originally wanted to ride on this popularity to produce a program formally introducing the STF. But right after the proposal was submitted, it was rejected mercilessly.

Although it’s understandable, I can’t help but suspect that Gavin doesn’t want to establish working relations with me.

Hence, I pump myself up, heightening my efficiency and working on the proposal in front of me.

MC: I don’t believe that this wouldn’t get approved by STF!

I’ve already sent the latest proposal two hours ago via email. The dawn is just breaking, so I don’t know when I’d receive a response...

My phone on the table suddenly lights up, the screen displaying a number I couldn’t be more familiar with.

I’m in a daze for a second, then hastily press the ‘answer’ button.

MC: Gavin, good morning.

Gavin: For this collaborative film--

MC: Hold on, don’t reject me so quickly! I’ve sent you the most recent filming proposal two hours ago, and added many more details.

On the other end of the line, Gavin is silent for a while.

Gavin: ...I’ve seen it.

I pause, a little nervous as I wait for Gavin’s final verdict.

MC: In that case, do you have any constructive ideas or advice--

Gavin: All right.

MC: What?

Gavin: The STF agrees to the filming.

His response is straightforward and succinct. The drowsiness in my head dissipates instantly.

MC: So it’s agreed! I’ll bring the film crew over to observe the site immediately.

Gavin: ...I’m not done. There’s one additional condition.

MC: It’s all right, I’ll agree to any condition.

The sound of taciturn breathing can be heard from the other end of the line.

Gavin: Hearing this from you is sufficient.

Before I can probe further, he hangs up.

MC: No matter what, these days of hard work didn’t go to waste!

After this, all I have to do is wait for the official filming and that unstated condition.

[ CHAPTER TWO ]

At 7am, the car stops outside the entrance of STF punctually. The officer in charge of receiving us, Xiao Zheng, is already waiting for us.

Xiao Zheng: Please follow me.

After going through a strict verification of our identities and an examination, we formally step into STF’s symbolic building.

According to the rules, we can access areas typically open to outsiders, and a few office buildings. We are prohibited from entering confidential areas.

Even so, the film crew maintains a high level of enthusiasm.

Kiki: Do all the special police have special equipment? For example, something which looks like a pen on the outside but is actually a powerful hand grenade, like in 007?

Minor: I heard they even have spectacles that can obtain someone’s information after scanning their pupils!

Seeing that Xiao Zheng is being put on the spot, I step in to mediate the situation.

MC: We’re just here to present a day in STF to the public. Isn’t a relaxed, mundane side of things even more interesting?

Minor and Kiki nod regretfully. A miserable, shrill cry suddenly drifts from the room at the end of the corridor.

Willow: Is there an interrogation going on? Are we allowed to collect materials on that?

Right after she finishes speaking, the electronic door opens slowly.

A special police officer pounds on his back, groaning as he walks out.

Special Police A: Hey Xiao Zheng, let me use another one of your muscle patches. My old affliction is acting up again. I almost died from the pain when I bent down just now.

The corridor lapses into complete silence.

MC: [coughs] ...actually, this is also a very interesting detail.

I turn towards Xiao Zheng, who is forcing himself to smile, and I give him an encouraging look.

Xiao Zheng: [coughs] ...l-let’s head over there.

?: How much longer were you planning to pore over the files in the office? If I didn’t call you, would you not eat at all?

??: ...I’m not hungry.

Following Xiao Zheng and entering this spacious and bright location, I hear a familiar voice from in front.

Gavin and Eli are standing not afar off. Seeing a line of people with cameras, their expressions grow slightly surprised.

Minor: Bro Gavin!

MC: This place is...

Xiao Zheng: [coughs] STF’s canteen. People don’t usually eat here though...

Accidentally meeting my eyes directly, Gavin faces away from me slightly.

Gavin: I don’t really come here.

Eli: Of course you don’t. You’re either out on a mission or poring over documents in the office.

It happens to be noon, and only a sparse number of special officers are dining in this spacious and bright canteen hall.

The cameras turn, pointing towards the tidy and clean kitchen and the array of healthy dishes behind the glass window. Xiao Zheng starts his explanation.

Xiao Zheng: All our meals are planned by a nutritionist, who takes into account their nutritional value, and prioritises foods that strengthen the body. As for the taste...

Special Officer B: Don’t you find stir-fried carrots appearing way too frequently?

Special Officer C: I think you should be eating more carrots to strengthen eyesight though. You did too poorly in your last shooting test.

Special Officer B: You... If you’re that capable, don’t get me to sneak you fruit pancakes every morning.

Coincidentally, two special officers walk past us, grumbling while carrying their plates.

Xiao Zheng: ...mm, it isn’t that perfect.

Eli and Gavin are seated at a dining table. Minor hurriedly rushes forward, pulling us over to sit opposite Gavin.

I can't help but look at Gavin's plate, and watch as he frowns while picking out the biter gourd on his plate.

Minor: Bro Gavin, you’ve been working really hard these days. I’ll give my chicken drumstick to you.

Gavin blocks Minor’s chopsticks coldly.

Gavin: No need.

Minor: ...I’ll give it to Boss then.

MC: I don’t need it either. I think it’s good to eat more vegetables - it’s healthy for the body.

I chew on the mediocre-tasting broccoli, concealing a smile as I look at Gavin in front of me.

He purses his lips, then suddenly lifts his chopsticks.

Gavin: I’ll give these to you then.

In the blink of an eye, all the bitter gourd on his plate are brought over to mine. This unexpected action causes everyone to freeze.

A period of silence ensues.

Kiki: ...Boss, I’ll give mine to you then.

Willow: Mine too...

Minor: Mine t--!

MC: ...I can’t finish them all!

Looking at the mountain of bitter gourd on my plate, I suddenly understand what they mean by “asking for trouble”.

[Note] MC uses an idiom here - “自讨苦吃” (“zi tao ku chi”), which literally translates to “asking for bitter things to eat” HAHA

[ CHAPTER THREE ]

In response to numerous requests from the female audience, we have collaborated with the STF to produce a special episode on self-defense.

At the seminar venue, there are no empty seats. A few special officers appear, and they are welcomed with cheers.

The program proceeds in an orderly manner. My line of sight shifts from the surveillance camera, and onto Gavin at the side.

MC: No matter what, I have to thank you for coming down today.

Gavin: The position of commander is temporarily vacant, so I’m handling this matter. This is one of my duties.

His emphasis on the word “duties” doesn’t leave any room for ingratiation at all.

I release a sigh in my heart, a little gloomy as I return my gaze back to the stage.

There are two special officers - one is pretending to be a victim, while the other is pretending to be an assaulter. They are currently demonstrating basic self-defense methods according to requests from the audience.

Special Officer: ...use your elbow to hit the temple of the other party. Using your kneecap to strike the abdomen of the assaulter is also a very effective counter-attack. Like this--

MC: These methods look simple. But when put into practice, they should be quite difficult, right?

Gavin: You actually worry about your safety?

Gavin glances at me. He leans against the back of the chair, speaking to me softly while flipping through pages.

I stand up, sneakily heading over to look at what he’s reading. As expected, it’s a stack of obscure, difficult to understand criminal investigation materials.

MC: I really learnt a little about it.

From his expression, it seems as though he doesn’t quite believe me. I’m suddenly struck with an idea.

MC: Actually, a very skilled and very kind person taught me a little. When I was doing a recording once, I met a stranger who kept pestering me. This very kind person stepped forward and helped me resolve the issue.

[Note] She’s referring to Gavin’s Film Studio Date -clutches chest-

The fingers flipping through the pages pause, but he doesn’t say anything.

MC: He even taught me a few self-defense methods. I always keep them in my heart, and am very grateful to him.

A hint of a ripple finally stirs in Gavin’s tranquil expression. He lifts his head, and our eyes meet.

Gavin: Simply learning these things isn’t enough. When facing different scenarios, you have to adopt different responses.

He sets down the stack of materials on the table, and suddenly stands up. The shadow cast by our height difference makes me instinctively take a step backwards.

Gavin: In these situations, what is tested is one’s vigilance and reaction speed.

MC: !

Gavin’s movements are incredibly fast, and I have absolutely no time to see what he’s doing. Both my hands are restrained by him.

My back is pressed firmly against the cold mirror, and countless similar scenes flash in my mind.

Gavin: Did that person teach you how to handle such a situation?

His voice is levelled, and it rouses me from my thoughts.

I take a deep breath, lifting my head to meet the pair of amber eyes underneath strands of brown coloured hair.

MC: ...no.

Even though he’s using very little strength this time, I can’t break free.

The door to the resting area is pushed open.

Hearing the sound, Gavin is slightly stunned and instinctively releases my hands. But it’s already too late.

The sound of laughter from behind instantly vanishes.

Staff: S-sorry for disturbing... we’ve walked into the wrong room.

MC: So... if I meet assaulters who come from behind me, I should counter-attack like this, right?

I raise my volume, desperately hinting at Gavin to cooperate.

Gavin: ...mm.

As expected, the murmurings behind grow softer.

Staff A: That almost scared me to death. So it was just a live demonstration...

Staff B: That’s right, that’s right. Our producer is also a young female, so it’s normal to learn self-defense skills.

Once they leave, Gavin hurriedly turns around.

After a moment of wordless silence, he speaks.

Gavin: ...I need to return to STF. I’ll be off now.

MC: Oh, okay...

I raise my head, and see Gavin looking as though he wants to speak, but he stops himself. Under the lights, the tips of his ears are slightly flushed.

[ CHAPTER FOUR ]

The previous shoots have received very good results. On this clear morning, a team from the company is preparing to go along with the original plan to capture some live training in STF.

However, a sudden Evol criminal incident has disrupted the plan. We adjusted our plans, and after obtaining permission, we’ve decided to film this operation.

On the roof of an unfinished building not afar off, there’s a young teenager who is being held hostage by a middle-aged man wielding a knife.

Passer-by A: I heard that this troublemaking teenager hit someone while street racing, and refused to apologise. Who knew that he had crashed into an absconding Evolver criminal...

Passer-by B: I’ve also heard about this fellow’s gang, which rides motorbikes at a breakneck speed. Sigh, kids these days really don’t learn well. This wouldn’t happen if they studied seriously.

I clear my throat, looking at Gavin who is beside me

MC: Continuing this deadlock isn’t a solution. My Evol might be able to help.

I lower my voice, pointing at the criminal, who doesn’t seem mentally stable. Gavin doesn’t acknowledge what I said, pulling me out of the crowd.

MC: H-how about I just stand at a side and watch? That should be okay, right?

The communication device in his ear sounds. Gavin pauses in his steps, his brows furrowing slightly.

Gavin: ...all right, let him take charge of this sniping mission.

He lifts his head, his gaze sweeping past the dilapidated residential building on the opposite side of the unfinished building.

Only now do I notice that behind the water tank on the roof, there’s a figure with a rifle.

Gavin: He’s a new member.

Gavin sees the incomprehension in my face, and lowers his voice to explain.

Looks like this mission is a test for this new member. And the reason why Gavin is amidst the crowd is to prevent anything unexpected from happening.

Gavin: ...the criminal didn’t notice. Prepare to fire.

The criminal is currently standing at the edge of the unfinished building, agitatedly dishing out conditions to the police. He brings his hostage one step forward.

Even though I’ve seen such a sight so many times, I still hold my breath anxiously.

Gavin: Now!

Once the clear and powerful voice leaves his lips, a gunshot is fired, but it only brushes the criminals shoulder, hitting the wall behind him.

Everyone freezes. Following that, another gunshot sounds.

The criminal releases a miserable cry, clasping at his bleeding thigh as he kneels on the ground.

In just a moment, the special officers concealed in the surroundings hastily keep the Evolver criminal under control, and rescue the hostage.

MC: That’s wonderful, this incident was handled without any mishaps!

The new member returns to the ground, his face deathly pale - as though he’s a completely different person from the heroic wielder of the sniper rifle earlier.

He hobbles over to Gavin, his expression slightly ashamed.

Gavin nods, but doesn’t say anything.

Since this is the special officer’s very first actual combat training, mistakes should be forgiven... But as the Captain, Gavin wouldn’t simply let go of mistakes during a mission, right...

Thoughts drift in my mind, and I subconsciously look in Gavin’s direction. He has walked away, with the new member trailing behind him

Gavin’s face is mostly expressionless. He says something, and the new member lowers his head even more.

The conversation ends quickly.

Gavin: Return to your team.

Newbie: Captain Gavin, I joined the STF because of you!

The new member suddenly flushes, exclaiming loudly.

Gavin: [sighs] ...

Newbie: You’ve always been the role-model I’m striving towards, and the idol I learn from! I’ll definitely reflect deeply on my mistake, and will meet your expectations!

Gavin: Enough!

Gavin cuts him off, his face darkening.

Minor: Hey hey hey, if you want to acknowledge Big Bro, you should be queuing behind me, right?

Minor is standing behind me, muttering indignantly.

Kiki: How’s it going, Boss? Have you got all the materials?

MC: Mm...

I hand over the memory card in my hand to Kiki, but my gaze subconsciously drifts to the new member and Gavin.

Under the evening sun, that new member seems to continue berating himself for his mistake, but his complexion looks slightly better.

After he leaves, I walk over to Gavin, and my curiosity causes me to speak up.

MC: What did Captain Gavin say to him? Is it a convenient time for an interview?

Gavin casts me a light glance, and answers in a casual manner.

Gavin: Ten cross-country training sessions, twenty sniper training sessions.

MC: ...STF is truly the strictest in the world.

Gavin: Such mistakes aren’t allowed during STF missions.

...I can now somewhat understand the thought process of those special officers who hold Gavin in veneration despite being around the same age as he is.

MC: ...looks like the people you have your eye on are really in danger.

Gavin seems to think of something. He looks at me, a minuscule smile suddenly surfacing on his lips.

The glow of sunset brings out the beautiful amber in his eyes. Being watched by him in such a serious manner, my cheeks heat up for an inexplicable reason.

Gavin: You should wrap up your work, and not stay here.

MC: Hold on! I still have a question.

Gavin: What is it?

MC: The condition you asked me to promise you on the first day - what is it?

Gavin is slightly startled. From his reaction, I finally confirm that he has completely forgotten about this matter!

And I’m also more and more convinced that this condition was brought up at the spur of the moment. He deliberately brought it up in the event that I cause some kind of trouble!

MC: Do you not trust me that much!

Gavin suppresses a laugh, and his expression returns to its usual calm.

Gavin: You’re thinking too much.

Gavin: But since you remember it, it will be left to be fulfilled in the future.

Gavin: Mm. From today onwards, you still owe me one condition.

- End -

The program is finally complete. From this program, the working relationship between us and STF has taken a step closer. This opportunity has not only heightened my company’s professionalism, but has also inspired future strategic layouts. We see great potential in working with STF in other areas, and hope to have the chance to develop an even deeper collaboration with them in future.

#mlqc #mlqc cn #mlqc spoilers #mlqc gavin #fluffy goodness for the soul #featuring mc's crew and gavin's crew!

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everlarkficexchange · 5 years

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Unmasked ~ Nineteen

Written by: ~ M ~

Prompt #88

Rating: E (Explicit) This fic will contain consensual sexual content; mild language; discussions of injuries, illness, and amputations in a historical setting; discussions of miscarriage; discussions of minor character suicide; references to non consensual sexual situations.

My thanks to the moderators of @everlarkficexchange for always running an entertaining event, and for playing along with a little fun and mystery. Also my thanks to everyone who offered up their inbox for submissions to give @javistg a break from posting so much from me. Please enjoy the nineteenth chapter of this adventure. Previous installments can be found here. Regards,

~ M ~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~ Chapter 19 ~~

After a restless night, I am dreading breakfast. It feels as though I have lived a lifetime since yesterday, an eon since Peeta left Everdeen. Mary frets over me and how pale I am as she helps dress me. I drag my still tired body down the stairs and into the breakfast room. Madge and I will need to visit Johanna to see to her bandages, and that means I will need a hearty meal to fortify me.

My mind still grapples with the matter of hiding Johanna here at Everdeen and all of the details she revealed to me. A brush fire on the battlefield as Peeta tended to her, a drummer — So then it was while he was caring for Johanna that he was scarred. An enemy soldier attacking them and —

My stomach revolts unexpectedly and I pause, reaching a hand out to steady myself on a convenient piece of furniture in the hall.

She said that Peeta cut the man the way you slaughter a pig. It should not surprise me, this knowledge that my husband who served in the infantry was required to kill a man.

Like slaughtering a pig. With no emotion in her voice. I have seen pigs and chickens slaughtered for the table, I have felled deer and other game. It is a cold, emotionless task. It almost need be, otherwise one would starve. With deer, sometimes the arrow or the musket ball is not enough for a kill. I myself have needed to wield a knife to slice a throat. Yet as I attempt to imagine doing so to a man…

I see eyes. Eyes of so many I have called friend, family, love. And I can imagine no further. The one time my father attempted to teach Primrose how to hunt, she cried over the dead animal and begged him to take it home with us, claiming there was still a chance we might save the poor dear. He was still alive, Prim insisted. She could see it in his eyes! My father had closed the rabbit’s eyes and maneuvered my sister away from the sight, holding her and comforting her while I was left to deal with the task of skinning the beast. I can understand her trepidation now.

Then I think of that day in Aunt Effie’s garden, when Peeta drew a knife to withdraw thorns from my palm. The ease with which he wielded it. My head spins and I take a few deep breaths as I remind myself of the rest of what Johanna said. He was tending to a wounded patient and they were attacked. Mayhaps Peeta killed a man, but it would have been done in defense of himself and of her, for surely the other soldier would have killed them both had Peeta not acted swiftly.

Perhaps it is not the irrefutable knowledge that my husband has killed that upsets me, for I too have killed, albeit for utterly different reasons. They are not the same. Not the same at all. No, I wonder now if what troubles me most is the reconciliation of the gentle man I believe him to be with the callous picture Johanna described. I know my husband. He is no murderer and he is certainly not heartless. How then does he face the killing of another person in such proximity. Surely he must have seen the other man’s eyes? But then the other man must have seen Peeta’s as well.

I think then of the drawings, the way he describes the agony and anguish and guilt of war. Of losing someone in his care… How his drawings draw such focus to the eyes. It stands to reason that he feels a similar mix of terrible emotions in regards to those he was forced to kill.

The reminder helps calm the churning in my middle, enough that I am able to continue on to the breakfast room. I wonder though at my husband never telling me of this in all his confessions of the night. If I am honest with myself, I am upset that Johanna knows more of him than I. How much of that is owing to my newfound knowledge of her sex, I cannot be certain. It did not concern me much when I thought her a man. She has known him for years, she said, whereas I have only known him months.

Perhaps he sought to protect me from the horrors he has committed, or perhaps it disturbs him enough that he did not wish to speak of it. Perhaps we are simply not to the point where he feels at ease speaking of those moments with me. I resolve to do as he has done. Have patience and trust that he will tell me when he is prepared to trust me with this part of his past.

I sit at table and force some egg down my throat. The room is wretchedly quiet and unusually hot given that I am rather early, likely the first to rise today… until Primrose wanders in.

She halts in the doorway and runs her hands over the bodice of her dress. She is so lovely. Fresh as morning dew and beautiful as the rose for which she was named. Her words last night, however, taint the air between us.

“Prim—“

“How is Joe?” Our words overlap and I turn my attention to buttering my toast. I am unaccountably famished for the level of queasiness I feel. Food is simple, usually, and so I keep my eyes on that as I speak.

“He will be fine. Madge and I will see to his wounds. He sends his apologies for his harsh words last night.”

“He was in a great deal of pain, no doubt. Sometimes we are more harsh than we intend to be when we are in pain… are we not?” Prim says this softly and I glance over at her as she fills her plate.

“Yes. I suppose sometimes we are.”

“Katniss, I am…I must apologize. My words yesterday—“

“I mean only to protect you. I do not want you to feel that you have settled in your marriage.”

“Have you settled?” She asks, turning to the table with sparks in her eyes.

“At first I thought I did,” I admit to her. “I did not wish to marry at all, I thought. But I was fortunate. It is a great turn of luck that while my hand may have been forced into marriage, I could not have asked for a better husband. I wished for you to be free as I was not to choose your husband.”

She makes a strange noise and flounces to the table, sitting with an uncharacteristic lack of grace. “Then why can you not trust me to know my own heart and the strength of Rory’s character?”

“Perhaps because you speak so little of him.”

“You did not wish to hear.”

“I do now, Little Duck.”

Primrose arranges her skirts suddenly, perfectly delicate and ladylike. I smother a smile as I think of what Johanna might say of my sister this morning.

“I am not certain it matters now,” she says forlornly.

“Is that the only thing he said on the matter of your season? That it was for the best?” She nods and sniffles. I sigh to myself. “It is not much to go on. Is it possible he meant only that were you to have a season, it would strengthen your feelings for him, at least the certainty of them. If you are truly meant to be with Rory, then a few suitors would not change this. You’ve not interacted with a great deal of gentlemen.”

Primrose considers this as she begins to eat. “I suppose it possible. I would need to be careful in my wording when I ask him if that is what he intended.”

“Perhaps consult with Madge on this, as she seems to have a more delicate way with both words and men than I,” I suggest and she nods, seemingly resolved. I ask her again to tell me of him and listen as she speaks. She paints a rather rosy picture of the man, and while I am glad that she seems to have such tender feelings for her suitor, I cannot help but think that he sounds too good to be real. I do not mention that she has drawn most of her conclusions from his letters. Words are fine things and quite important, but it is our deeds and actions that truly make a marriage.

Slowly, the household awakens. Tasks await me, and I leave the breakfast room shortly after Madge and Maysilee enter it. Although, I am pleased when Prim rises to walk out with me. I do not wish strife between us.

A dizziness sweeps over me as we walk and I once more must use the furniture to steady myself.

“Katniss?” Prim asks as I close my eyes to halt the room from spinning. “Katniss are you unwell?”

“Only tired,” I tell her as she touches me. I draw strength from the contact although I still feel faint.

“Are you certain you do not wish me to see to Joe? You never had much stomach for such things.”

“Nay,” I say and she lifts one brow before leaning close to me.

“You know… I am quite good at keeping secrets.” I stare at her and mull over the weight of her words. Truthfully, her care would be much better for Jo. I could manage, but Prim is a budding, brilliant healer in her own right. The more I think of facing bandages and wounds not yet healed, the worse I feel.

Yet…Johanna has only grudgingly trusted me with her secret. “I have promised to see to him, and he is Peeta’s friend. This task falls to me, Little Duck.”

“Oh very well,” Prim says, and huffs but leans close once more. “At least allow me to make some ginger root tea for you. You look positively green.”

“Green?” I ask and she nods. “Yes, that might be just the thing I need.”

She smiles at this and helps me towards the study. I see to a few tasks and sip the tea when Primrose brings it to me. It does soothe the roiling in my middle. Shortly after the nausea dissipates, so does the feeling of being overheated, just in time for Madge to join me. We gather what supplies we will need, and ride out to the cottage where Jo lives.

“Well I think you for not having the esteemable Mr. Crane visit me,” Johanna says as she opens the door before moving stiffly back to the bed.

Her cottage is humble but tidy. A bottle of orange and bergamot scented oil warms by the fire, one of the products of this very farm. Shirts await mending in a basket and a simple breakfast of egg and roll sit half eaten on a platter next to the chair. There are no delicate or personal touches to denote who lives here, save for the wide brimmed hat Johanna usually wears.

“I would not wish his sermons on my worst enemy,” I mutter as Madge directs Johanna to remove her shirt and lay on her stomach.

“I’d wager your ears burn right off when he starts in talking lust and carnal sins. Do those feel aimed at you, Kitten?” I glare at her and Madge hushses her. “S’nothing to be ashamed of. Every man is considered virile for his urges. Why shouldn’t we? How else does one get in the family way?”

“By laying back and just holding on until it’s over,” Madge suggests and Johanna snorts.

“Children are work enough on their own. Making them ought to at least be enjoyable as consolation. I’ve been fortunate in that regard on both ends. Plenty of enjoyment, no children. And you have too, haven’t you, Mrs. Mellark?” I smile at her and saw away at her bandages along the sides. “Hey! Watch it!”

“Oh I am so sorry, Johanna,” I purr and she scowls at me but then starts laughing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After we have seen to Johanna and return to Everdeen, the daily post brings happy tidings for both Everdeen sisters.

For Prim, a letter from Mr. Rory Hawthorne, adamantly expressing regrets over his hasty words and clarifying that he only meant that Prim deserves a season and a chance to be certain of whom she wishes to marry.

“A season full of suitors praising you will in no way diminish my affections for you, and I greatly regret that my last may have given the impression of such,” she reads aloud to Madge and I during a quiet moment. “My feelings will hold steady and patient. Although, I confess that I will be among the first in line, begging a dance or calling for tea, lest you forget me in all the attentions sure to be heaped at your toes.”

While I still hold my doubts in regards to Mr. Hawthorne, the letter does much to soothe my fears for my sister.

As for my fears in regards to my own marriage, a letter arrives from Peeta as well to soothe those. I pocket it and save it for a private moment. I barely manage it with the festival still ongoing, the noises of dancing and happy laughter a backdrop as I stand in a quiet spot, beneath a lantern as the day fades to evening, a brilliant sunset painted across the sky in his favourite shade of orange. I drink in the sight and then scan my husband’s words, smiling and blushing at the opening salutation:

My Darling Wife:

He continues, assuring me that he has arrived safely and fortunately timed, as his friend is most in need of Peeta’s assistance and is grateful for the pair of men who chose to accompany him. I smile at his descriptions of his friend, the farm on which they now labor, and even the men of Everdeen bringing songs from home to the new fields. Other words, however, concern me.

Nights are lonely without you, my pearl. The mattress here is too soft and wide without your warmth. The empty space beside me invites terrible visions. I sleep now in a more rough manner, as I did when my life was ruled by drum beats, the rattle of sabers, and musket fire. On the floor if the nights grow cold, outside beneath the stars and moon should they be balmy. Even then, the sight of the heavens keeps you with me, knowing the same stars I stare upon as I seek refuge in sleep watch over your own nights and dreams. It seems to help for now, as though the return to the routine of sleeping thus banishes the lingering effects of that life.

I close my eyes and send my thoughts across the miles to him, hoping he might feel that I am with him, caring for him, loving him, longing for his return. His words do little to soothe my fears for him as they carry such a sadness to them. Save for the final paragraph, which I know I shall read again and again over the coming days.

I can only hope that our parting moments have not tarnished your opinion of me. I acted in such a base manner, taking advantage of the night and our parting, succumbing to the temptation to treat you so. I beg a thousand pardons from you for my roughness. I am indeed the brute you accused me of, as I must confess that as guilty as I feel for my lack of gentility in those moments, I think of them near constantly, with a powerful fever in my blood. The effect you have on me…my wife, my love, precious pearl…Katniss, I cannot even describe it save to say that every ounce of me longs to return to you, to hold you in my arms and feel your breath upon my neck, your hands…well those I would wish wherever you choose to place them. And indeed, I even long to perhaps repeat our parting moments, albeit in a more gentle manner suitable to your comfort. For now, I must work and hope that I have not destroyed what fragile foundations we have so carefully built together. Until I return to you, I remain…

Your ever loving husband,

~Peeta~

He apologizes. He apologizes for a thing I cannot regret. A thing I think of near constantly as well, also with a frightening fever in my blood that I’ve no idea how to quench without him. I do not know how to tell him that I too am filled with longing. For him. For his return.

I feel as though I hold his very soul with this parchment, much as I do when I peruse his sketches. I envy his ability to so easily express himself and curse my own reticence to reciprocate. Even writing out I love you, Peeta angers me. So hollow compared to the picture he paints with the words in his letters. I crumple the thing into a ball and toss it to the flames.

That does no good in quenching the fever taken hold of me either.

I haven’t his gift for words and can only hope that my scrawled missives might convey my feelings back to him. They seem so paltry compared to his, my letters short scraps of news or remarks on the weather, the festival. I do not know how to convey the depth of my feelings on such thin paper. Not even the ink seems thick enough to carry the right tone, and yet he manages the feat.

The days proceed. Most days bring with them a letter from Peeta. Whenever they arrive, I savor them, drinking in his words, reading them three times or more, until I think perhaps I have an adequate response to send. Adequate but I fear not enough.

Each morning when I wake, I fight fatigue and nauseau. I request the ginger root tea and keep my theories to myself for now. I pass a day waiting for my courses that never arrive, and then another. I begin to hope in the absence – the absence of both Peeta and my monthly cycle – but heeding Madge’s counsel, I hold that knowledge close my heart until I can be certain.

In the meantime, I add his letters to my book, in place of his morning sketches. I dream of that night, and of all the others. That night for which he apologized. Apologized as though I could feel debased or shamed by what we shared. A thing that has led me to a sin most grievous, I fear. My hands now wander in the night as I dream of him and attempt to recreate his touch. He apologizes while I cling to the hope of certainty – the certainty of our happiness should I be correct in my hopes that I am with child. Some days it near destroys me, and then the post arrives.

My mother notes my tea preferences and smiles, soft and content. When my father asks her what has her so pink and lovely, she assures him that it is nothing. Simply the brightness of a fair morning and the pleasure of having two contnent daughters, a bountiful harvest.

After breakfast that day, she requests a moment of my time and embraces me.

“How late?”

“Nearly six days now,” I tell her and she kisses my temple.

“I will have Joe exercise Sagittaria for you.” I blush hotly at that. Johanna will surely know why, but I do not contradict my mother’s bidding. “In a few weeks, we will send for the doctor. Does Peeta know?”

“Not yet,” I tell her and she leans back to caress my cheek.

“Are you pleased?” I manage a nod and then bury my face in her bosom when she embraces me again. Now if only I could summon the courage to tell him how I feel. I should think it would be easier through ink and paper and yet I have had no success with it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I huff angrily in the afternoon sunshine one day, tapping the end of my quill on the desk. Only four days remain in our separation and I have yet to write a satisfactory letter to him. Only the short, rather impersonal things one might send to a cousin or mere acquaintance. Worse, his grow more removed every day. It is as though he slips further away from me the longer I am unable to convey my feelings.

Madge walks by the open study door, her laughter clear and beautiful. Maysilee dances along behind her, singing a silly song, twirling and losing her balance, grasping hold of her mother’s skirts to keep from falling.

Such courage they have in acting as their true selves. Maysilee fears no judgement in her imaginings and games. She finds joy with no caution to temper it. And Madge… Even in her secrets and her scandalous affair, my friend found the courage to seize her desires. Such courage Johanna has in leaving everything familiar to her and building a life of her own, free of the shackles but also the security of her parents.

Such courage it must have taken Peeta to open his heart to me every step of our marriage.

I sit straight and gather my own courage. Perhaps I have not been as brave as I could wish, but I shall begin now. I can be brave with Peeta. He will not discard my heart carelessly. I think of all our nights in the kitchens, in front of the fire, beside the lake, and in the arms of their comforting memories, I write.

My Darling Husband,

This letter should have made its way to you a week past, and yet I struggled to find the courage to put my thoughts to words. I beseech you to sleep in peace, or have you forgotten my requirements of you? I would hate for your lack of caring for your own person to dim our pending reunion. Your apologies are unnecessary and rather insulting. I am made of stronger stuff, as you know. A brute in the night, as long as he has your gentle touch in the day, is nothing for me to fear and nothing for you to regret.

I read back over my words and blush. Fan myself as it has grown quite hot in this room. That is quite enough sentiment, I decide and charge onward with one of my more regular litanies of ongoings at home. I manage one more thing I likely should have mentioned in an earlier letter. A subtle hint that I have come to know his companion, Joe, quite well in his absence. I hear shouts in the hall and hurry to finish.

Until you return home to me, I remain

Your loving wife,

Katniss

“Katniss! Horses! In the lane!” Prim shouts, pausing in the doorway as I sign my name. She smiles at me and I stand. It is good to see this side of her again. Smiling and happy, eager to greet visitors. I am glad of it and leave my letter to finish sealing later.

“We are not expecting the Hawthornes yet, are we? Or perhaps Mr. Rory Hawthorne wishes one more chance to woo you before the season begins,” I tease and she shakes her head.

“Perhaps they shall visit in spring.”

I follow her giddy pace down the hall, as quickly as I can manage as I feel a bit ill at the moment. I rest a hand on my middle and will the feeling to abate. Through the window, I catch sight of man still mounted on a horse. His shoulders and back a familiar, broad shape, encased in a dark green coat. He removes his hat and my breath hitches at the blonde curls that gleam in the sunshine.

“Peeta,” I whisper and hasten my footsteps.

He is home! He is home early! My heart races as I grab hold of my skirts and overcome Prim, through the open doors. A chestnut prances nervously as he announces himself to the footman.

It is the wrong horse.

I halt and Prim collides with me. My smile vanishes.

“Ah! There she is! Mrs. Mellark, do tell these chaps that I am your brother now.”

“Sir Robert,” I manage to say and his strained smile smoothes out. It is then that I notice Delly on a mare at his side. I manage a curtsy to the pair of them.

“Indeed! We came ahead of the coach with our things. It should be here shortly. Surely my brother told you of our intent to visit?” he says and manages to steady his horse long enough to dismount, sweeping into a bow directed at me.

“He did not.”

“Oh,” Robert’s smile falters for a moment and then returns brighter than ever. “I did send word.”

I was almost married to this man. The thought leaps up and claims my attention, unbidden and strangely…unpleasant, and I cannot help but wonder if the last time I saw him, was he proposing to me from behind a mask of lies or was he kissing me from behind a mask of plaster and paint and more lies?

“Peeta is not here presently,” I say, the joy I felt only moments ago now cracks across my chest, in an unnameable mixture of emotions. My head spins and I feel slightly faint as I fight against the very real and evident feeling that I might disgrace myself and purge my stomach of its contents right here on the steps. “I have sent his post on to him.”

“Ah, then the news was lost in the time of transfer no doubt.” He turns to help Delly from her horse and then strides up the stairs and straight to my sister, taking her hand and once more bowing, clearly confident that he will not be turned away, despite the lack of notice. “The lovely Miss Primrose Everdeen, I presume. Indeed your sister has not exaggerated your beauty. Such lovely sisters, I feared my memory might have played tricks but lo! You are as radiant as I recall.”

The last is spoken directly to me, with eyes and teeth shining in a flattering smile. A traitorous flutter disrupts my pulse, although I manage to control it quickly. He still holds my sister’s hand. His wife only now joins us.

“Katniss?” Prim asks and I glance at her wide eyed expression.

“Sir Robert Mellark,” I manage to croak. “Peeta’s half brother.”

“Come now, we are family, Katniss! You will not allow me my fun? You must introduce me as his twin brother!”

I ignore his words and incline my head towards the door. “Primrose, please tell Sae that we have guests. Sir Robert Mellark and his wife.” She thankfully does not question, although the current of unease must be plain to her. She extricates her hand from Sir Robert’s and hurries inside.

“Yes! My wife. She claims to have met you before.”

“Indeed we have met. ‘Tis good to see you again, Delly,” I say and find that I mean it.

“We are not causing you trouble?” Delly asks with a lovely, happy smile that I remember quite well.

As much as this churning, confusing feeling inside me makes me wish to turn Sir Robert away, I know that I cannot deny Peeta’s family a visit, and I would not dream of being rude to Delly. She has done me no injury.

“No, of course not. It is only that Peeta will likely be gone another four days.”

“No matter! We will find plenty to amuse us in the meantime. I believe I caught sight of a harvest festival as we rode in?” Sir Robert says. I nod an affirmative and he offers an arm to Delly. “Excellent. I’ve not been to one in an age!”

“Then by all means, make yourselves at home,” I say, hoping that my words ring sincere, as I am not sure I can distinguish up from down as I follow the man I thought to marry and his wife into my home.

I pause in the doorway and turn back, holding one hand over my eyes to shield them from the sun, squinting through the light and the dirt. There is no other rider in the lane.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To be continued…Chapter 21 will post here on the @everlarkficexchange

#springtime edition #late submission #prompt 88 #M

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nyfacurrent · 4 years

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Business of Art | The Arts Administrator’s Creed: 5 Guiding Principles for Your Arts Admin Career

Empowering advice from arts administrators nationwide on how to define and achieve success in your life and work.

Arts administrators work behind-the-scenes on behalf of artists and creatives everywhere, providing resources, support, and structure for their projects and practices. Often, these types of jobs combine a passion for the arts with business, management, education, programming, fundraising, or communications expertise. The work can be highly-rewarding yet also challenging in terms of budget, time, and staff constraints. To help you navigate, we’ve asked leaders in the field for their tips on how to succeed and thrive as an arts administrator.

Manage Your Time

It’s hard not to get stuck in the day-to-day and to lose perspective on the bigger picture. Avoid burnout and fatigue by recognizing that you can’t accomplish everything overnight (or by yourself!) and that there are tools and systems that can help you stay organized.

Many of the arts administrators that we spoke with make lists and use project management and time management apps to keep them on top of their workloads and priorities. Deana Haggag, President and CEO of United States Artists, writes a to-do list every Monday morning and tackles it throughout the week. “On Fridays, I audit what didn't get done and why, so I can resolve it the following week. For reference, we use several project management apps at work—Asana, Airtable, Lattice, Slack, etc—and they're all very helpful but nothing compares to my handwritten list. It's the holy grail of my work week.” Haggag also schedules a few hours each day or week to respond to emails, using a ‘VIP’ inbox to filter through priority contacts so she sees those immediately.

Ben Hartley, Executive Director of The National Arts Club, keeps organization top-of-mind. “Every day, I list my priority projects and make sure they are sitting in front of me at all times. However, sometimes this can be overwhelming, so I also keep on hand a one-page overview of the big things I have to achieve this year. It’s easy to get subsumed by day-to-day detail, but if you’re not stepping back and looking at the big picture once in a while, you risk losing perspective,” he says.

Hunter O’Hanian, Executive Director and CEO of Stonewall National Museum and Archives, relies on two time management techniques: first, he prepares things well in advance and second he is a life-long list-maker who feels a strong sense of accomplishment when crossing off his “to-dos.”

“Figure out what works for you and stick with it,” advises Heather Pontonio, Senior Program Director at Emily Hall Tremaine Foundation. “I’ve tried lots of online note/task apps, but learned that I remember best when I’ve written it down — so my trusty journal notebook comes everywhere with me. I use my calendar app religiously and in addition to appointments, I include scheduled work time when there are projects that require focused attention,” she added.

Adriana Rios, Director of Programs at NALAC, takes five minutes out of every hour to stretch, breathe, or hydrate. “A tool I love using to help keep me accountable is the Focus app, which uses the Pomodoro method. In short, you set a time period (usually in increments of 25 or 55 minutes) around a certain task such as checking emails. For that time period, you focus only on that task. At the end of the allotted time, you have a five-minute break where you can do what you like. Personally, it’s helped me structure my day better and reduce distractions. It has also helped me start structuring my overall time by helping me better understand when it’s time to work and when it’s time to rest.”

Practice Self-Care

You’ll do your best work when you feel good about yourself and the value that you bring to your organization.

A lot of what Rachel Adams, Chief Curator and Director of Programs at Bemis Center for Contemporary Arts, and her curator friends say (especially as so many are now parents) is "we are not saving the world." She explains: “This is not to say our jobs are not important, but it is important to give yourself a little life/work balance. Even if it is to take a quick walk around the block for some fresh air. Or, turn off the computer and go see that show before it closes. Read something non-work related for 20 minutes a day. Building that into your calendar really helps. Block off that time, and you’ll be happier and also can focus better on the tasks at hand when you need to.”

For Pontonio, self-care isn’t just about yoga and eating healthy, it’s about holding time for what makes you happy. “My first job was with an off-Broadway theater that led to taking an additional house management job at another off-Broadway theater to make rent. I justified the 80 hours a week because I was working in a field I was passionate about. My schedule left little time to actually enjoy theatre and on a night off it was not how I wanted to spend my time.”

Jacque Donaldson and Mara Vlatkovic, co-directors and founders of New York-based networking organization Young Professionals in the Arts (YPA), reiterate the importance of keeping your passion for the arts close and not losing sight of it. “We find it vital to remind ourselves time and again why we work in our field. Go see that concert, exhibition, theater piece, or dance performance that will reignite that spark that made you choose your profession in the first place. Knowing that we all contribute to the art world and are helping creatives achieve their potential can be one of the most rewarding jobs!”

For Ricardo Maldonado, Managing Director of Unterberg Poetry Center at the 92nd Street Y, a demanding job goes beyond the 9-to-5. “Admin gigs require one to find a space—between rooms, between tasks—for the kind of creative thinking that eventually nurtures your own creative practices. For example, before I sat down to answer these questions and after spending a good two hours processing submissions for a poetry contest I run, I gifted myself five minutes to think in response to a screen-shot of a poem I read last week and write, for an additional five, my own response. I collect screenshots and lines that I shape into the body of a poem. As a poet and translator, I am constantly surprised at how the language of work—a move toward that language, and against it—has informed the spirit of/behind (and the ethics of) my poems.”

Stay Curious

Making things work better, identifying and tackling challenges, and being interested in the work that you do and the world around you are key to feeling satisfied in your job. “Always find opportunities to learn. We owe it to ourselves to be lifelong students. We owe it to the next generations to pass down our knowledge,” says Quanice Floyd, Founder and Director of the Arts Administrators of Color Network.

Rajshree Solanki, Chief Registrar for the Hirshhorn Museum and Sculpture Garden and Atelier 4’s first-ever Registrar of the Year, is interested in learning techniques on building and strengthening teams within her organization and providing others with the opportunities she was given earlier in her career (note: she donated her $5,000 award to the Smithsonian Institution’s Office of Fellowships and Internships’ Minority Internship program, which gave Solanki her start). “I tend to read business management books specifically on project management, communications, and team-building. I particularly recommend books such as Malcolm Gladwell’s The Tipping Point, Kim Scott’s Radical Candor: Be Kickass Boss without Losing Your Humanity, and Dan Coyle’s The Culture Code: The Secrets of Highly Successful Groups.”

Pontonio stays curious by proactively keeping up with conference offerings in the field that align with her work. “If there’s something of great interest and I am not attending that conference, I will reach out to the presenter afterwards to schedule a meeting about their presentation and top takeaways.”

Adams recommends inexpensive classes from Node Center for Curatorial Studies or travel scholarships for conferences like Association of Art Museum Curators (AAMC), College Art Association (CAA), and Common Field. “It’s best to get on all the email lists, specifically I like Call for Curators,” she added.

Yeiry Guevara, Grants Manager at Houston Arts Alliance, says her secret for staying up-to-date is newsletters. She recommends joining the mailing lists of Grantmakers in the Arts, NALAC, Americans for the Arts, and other cultural affairs offices, where she can learn from their layout, messaging, and content, in addition to getting relevant information from the field.

JiaJia Fei, Consulting Director of Digital at The Jewish Museum, makes staying informed a priority since success in the digital world means always keeping your eyes open and asking questions. She begins every team meeting with two agenda items to stay informed about industry changes and advancements: 1) Digital Landscape: sharing an outside project or news item from within the field and its application to the work they do and 2) Digital Cross-Fit: asking another colleague on the team a question about something they’re working on or training on a tactical skill, to encourage cross-training and collaboration. “As an added bonus, we have the privilege of working inside an art museum, which makes us all naturally curious and lifelong learners across everything we do,” says Fei.

Hartley suggests a more organic approach, and encourages you to allow serendipity and chance to play a role in your constant learning: “Sign up for LinkedIn groups, newsletters, and news-feeds that don't relate to your work, but may provide sparks for new ideas; be a source, not a drain, if you see an interesting article, piece of research or video, share it with a friend or colleague and tell them why you found it interesting. Ask them what they're looking at these days that's challenging, informative or exciting.”

Donaldson and Vlatkovic also recommend looking beyond the industry to learn from others, citing resources such as The Muse, Harvard Business Review, Inc, and The New York Times’ “Smarter Living” and “Entrepreneurship” sections to find out recent trends. They then suggest learning how to apply and adapt your discoveries and learnings to the arts.

Artist Sharon Louden, who wears many hats in the arts including serving as the Artistic Director of the Visual Arts at Chautauqua Institution, believes that being curious means being open. She also dedicates time each day with a number of sources to explore what’s happening in the industry. “I love taking about 15-30 minutes a day to peruse online publications, blogs, social media to read about what people are sharing, etc. to not only follow the work of colleagues I know personally but also to see the road maps of their lives, which ultimately leads me to unexpected paths of discovery.”

This practice is also highly beneficial to Louden’s work as an artist: “Following a lot of artists' lives tells me a lot about community, how artists sustain their own lives and ideas for opportunities for myself to grow my own practice. That kind of organic research enables me to build more of my community by reaching out to those I discover, perhaps offering to collaborate, and definitely creating spaces and opportunities for others to share as much as possible."

Create Meaningful Relationships

We’re all in this together, so why not establish lasting ties with peers and mentors at your own and other arts and culture organizations? These relationships are mutually beneficial, and can help you chart and map your career path in ways you may not expect.

“A tip that has served me well,” says Maldonado, is “try to learn as much as you can from as many people as you can; if I’m being generous, in most of my tasks, I often remind myself that I am working with/within a language that needs to be tended to. That impulse to learn affects every curatorial decision I had made since the day I started working and pushes me to move beyond the boundaries of what's expected. And has made me a more attentive (and kinder, I would think) administrator.”

It can also be helpful to re-frame the concept of networking. To that end, Donaldson and Vlatkovic wish “we had known at the beginning of our arts admin careers that networking simply means making connections with other people. From volunteering for organizations you believe in, going to industry events, participating in professional development workshops, or even your small friends group that meets monthly over drinks, all that engagement counts as networking! All those connections are incredibly important and will provide support throughout your career, whether it’s friends looking at your resume, acquaintances recommending you for jobs, or former colleagues sending useful articles.”

Adams suggests a proactive outreach strategy, and encourages arts administrators to reach out to people who are inspiring to you. “See if you can buy them a cup of coffee or have a phone call. Mentorship is important and establishing these relationships (whether it’s a cold call/email or through a friend of a friend) will help propel you.”

It’s important to forge meaningful relationships with both your co-workers and with others in the field. “Your team is there to support you in this work, and if not in your immediate workplace there are other arts administrators out there that want to connect. Reach out!” encourages Rios. Guevara concurs: “I am able to succeed because of the immense support of my team and my current leadership. Their sage insight helps ground me,” she says.

Ashley Walden Davis, Director of Strategic Partnerships at Alternate ROOTS, encourages peer-to-peer relationship building. “Your careers will grow together and one day, you will be those executive leaders and the next generation of future leaders. Having relationships with your peers across the field will make it easier to execute the work of organizational partnerships, fundraise, and execute day-to-day operations which by and large takes place in middle management. Furthermore, you will develop lasting friendships with other arts leaders who can help you troubleshoot, talk through ideas, or just share a laugh about drafting an artistic grant narrative about a project three years away. Having a strong accountability and support system is key to a long, healthy, and sustaining career in the arts.”

Guevara is emphatic that peers make the best mentors because “we’re all figuring it out together. The transparency in learning about each other’s process is very validating.”

Be Confident in Your Abilities and Have Fun!

In any industry, self-doubt can creep in. Don’t let it get the best of you by learning to recognize the unique voice and vision that you bring to your work. Says Guevara: “The first step of owning your value is being able to see or acknowledge your strengths,” and suggests that having mentorship can help you reflect on your strengths especially if you may not be cognizant of them.

Louden has affirming advice for artists who are arts administrators: “We as artists have the ability to bounce back from failure like no other in any other field; we can easily create things from nothing and we can problem solve outside of our studio in much the same way as we do when we make things. The way artists think and just naturally do things in the world is unique from people in every other occupation. There is often a disconnect between artists making their work and applying those skills and talents elsewhere in their lives. Since I see artists valued beyond making their work, perhaps the real challenge is for them—us!—to recognize and apply our natural creative talents on a daily basis."

O’Hanian adds: “People often don’t understand their professional values because in many cases we think we should be doing something else such as paint, sing, write or dance—things we really want to do. However, most people I’ve worked with have been very good at their jobs, whether they know it or not.”

Haggag highly recommends that everyone follow Picard Tips on Twitter. “Wow! I stumbled on them a few months ago and had no idea how badly I needed Star Trek's retired admiral Jean-Luc Picard's management tweets in my life. He recently tweeted 'No one can relax around Dr. Jekyll after they have met Mr. Hyde.' In my management experience, has that been true? Absolutely. Or 'Once all their basic needs are taken care of, crew members are motivated by the meaningfulness of their work.' Like, yes! Gospel!”

In Closing

Kristy Edmunds, Executive and Artistic Director for UCLA’s Center for the Art of Performance (CAP UCLA) and the inaugural recipient of United States Artists’ Berresford Prize, provided us with inspiring words to illustrate her belief in arts administrators as change-makers. We’re closing things out with a stanza that we hope propels you forward in your day and in your career:

“Press on, press on, press on! Our cultural charge isn’t fleeting, of this we are certain indeed. Your hand on the wheel is impressive and furtive persistence is key. Press on through the standard of measures. Press on through the spreadsheets and sing! Press on (oh press on) we are counting on you…to care for the cause thus imbued.”

-Amy Aronoff, Senior Communications Officer

Arts administrators in the five boroughs of New York City and surrounding metropolitan area are encouraged to apply to participate in our Emerging Leaders Program 2020. Free of charge to selected participants, the initiative provides leadership training for arts administrators over nine months. Our core objective is to help arts administrators discover, identify, and develop their personal motivation and individual competencies as leaders while exploring the attributes and themes of arts leadership.

This post was inspired by “The Artist’s Creed: 10 Guiding Principles for Your Arts Career.” Published in 2019, it provided empowering advice for artists, distilled from people we admire.

Images: Jenny Kemp (Fellow in Painting ’15), Breach, 2015, gouache on paper; Christie Neptune (Fellow in Interdisciplinary Work ’18), Pulling At My Labels, 2016, single-channel video; and Paul DeMuro (Fellow in Painting ’15), Nailz, 2013, oil on canvas

#business of art #businessofart #professional development #profdev #arts administration #artsadministration #arts administrators #artsadministrators #amy aronoff #amyaronoff #instagram #career advice #careeradvice #announcements

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avid-windex-consumer · 4 years

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Heaven’s Trap | Chapter 2. | Welcome Home

Her companions are exhausted, she can tell. They try to hide it; for her sake maybe, she doesn’t quite know why, but it’s obvious to her.

They’ve been going from place to place all day, counting and running and hiding. They hadn’t had any direct encounters with it, though at this rate that could change very soon.

It’s in the way Yaz’s eyes are droopy, and Ryan’s steps slow, his body addled with the need to rest, his coordination worsened. It’s in Graham’s shoulders, hunched over slightly.

They’ll need to rest soon, she knows. But at what cost? How long will they really be able to nap for, 75 minutes, maximum? She needs the extra few for good measure.

The movements of the castle had been stubborn, blocking access to the chamber she needed in order to get to the top.

It’s vital she sees the stars. Absolutely vital. Because if someone had gone to all the trouble of making a replica of the confession dial, then they’d also replicate where the stars had been last. Where the stars had been positioned when she’d escaped.

When she was in the dial, she often thought about the starting point. That’s what she called the time when she’d first arrived in the dial. So all calculations of time after the starting point were based on the shift from the starting point to each time he’d looked at the stars in the dial.

But if the stars weren’t positioned 4.5 billion years after the starting point, that meant that she was in the confession dial.

Because the times would have changed, and though it would be a minor shift, it would be obvious to her. And it would be the only changed factor in the castle (that she’d found so far).

She hopes, she really, really hopes, that the stars have changed.

“When are we stopping, Doc?” Graham says groggily.

You can never stop, but you can rest.

The tower is still sealed off.

“We’ll have to skip the tower for now, the castle’s being stubborn. Five minutes to the closest room, yeah? You can all rest for an hour or so.”

The four make their way to the room in an uncomfortable silence.

-x-

They’re all asleep now, except for the Doctor. She watches over them, like a guardian angel. A guardian angel in a cage.

She wonders if this is hell. The Time Lords don’t have a religion, but most other cultures do, and most of them include some type of hell.

This would be hers, definitely.

If the Doctor doesn’t escape, the companions will die, whether it be from sleep deprivation or it. She’ll die too eventually, but her death will come long, long after.

If it turns out that this really is the confession dial, then the Doctor is at a loss. What does it want her to confess this time? The hybrid is gone because Clara is gone.

What other secrets does she keep? Her name?

Her name.

Is that what it wants?

God, she hopes not.

Click

She needs to wake them up.

It’ll be here soon, and by then they’ll need to be long gone.

She shakes Yaz awake, watching the girl’s eyes droop open. There’s something unsettling about them, a fear that the doctor doesn’t like.

Fear keeps you on your toes.

“Come on Yaz, you have to wake up.”

Yaz slowly sits up, still sleep addled. Her body desperately needs more rest, but it is coming.

She can see it on the screen, slow and creeping. The can see the flies buzzing in front of it. It was a constant, for so many years. 4.5 billion years. A constant, relentless, pursuing nightmare with claws.

She hates it. How she feels almost at home here. A familiarity that can match the TARDIS, beat it even. She did spend billions of years here; it shouldn’t have surprised her-

No, not here. It can’t be here. It’s a replica, it has to be.

Could she handle it if it wasn’t?

Is that even a question?

“Can’t I lose, just once.” She murmurs under her breath; no one hears her.

You have a duty of care.

The voice sounds too much like Clara for her liking.

Yaz helps wake up the other two, and the Doctor’s resolve breaks for just a fraction of a second when she sees their eyes, desperate and begging for sleep, already wearing down.

She strengthens her resolve, mentally berating herself for letting it fall, even for a second. The companions still don’t know what happens here, in this place; they don’t have any idea at all.

It will take them a while to get to the other side of the castle, she knows. But there’s somewhere specific she needs to see. If the tower is being stubborn, she may as well go to the garden. There’s something important there.

“Let’s get a shift on, yeah?” She smiles, urging them on. The grogginess of sleep still settles on them, but it lessens as they jog to the yard.

“Where are we going now, Doctor?” Yaz asks.

“We’re going to the garden. Well, I say garden. Not really much to show if it is a garden.”

“Why the garden?” Ryan cuts in.

“There’s something I need to dig up.”

-x-

As soon as she enters the garden-if it can even be called that-she freezes. The vines are just as dead as they were last time, and the shovel is positioned perfectly against the wall.

Do I dig?

Of course you dig.

That’s been happening a lot lately. Clara. Maybe it’s the place, this castle.

“Okay then fam!” She regains her composure, smile tight, forced into a mock playful grin. “Ready?”

“For what?” Yaz asks.

“To dig.”

She grabs the shovel, making her way across the garden to the middle of the area, where a bed of soil lies.

God, it’s just like she remembers it. She’s dug it up billions of times, and the sound of the soil giving way to the shovel sends shivers down her spine.

-x-

It takes a long time, digging it up. Ryan and Yaz pitch in for bits, but she does most of the heavy lifting. Graham can’t, his joints are weak from age. She hates to say it, but Graham is most likely to die first if she can’t get them out of here. His body is old for a human’s, not terribly old, not as old as her last body even, but still old. A body that wears down faster.

She hears the familiar clang of stone, and bends down to swipe away the soil.

Her heart drops and her breath catches.

It’s the same.

“I AM IN 12”

She remembers writing it in her first time, before the stars shifted and the years passed. Before she’d laid out the clues and set up the loop.

Things were much harder then, and she’s glad that those memories are the hardest to unlock.

Sometimes she wishes she’d forget them all, but she can’t afford that, not now.

But then something catches her eye. She swipes at the soil, and her eyes widen.

“WELCOME HOME”

No, no, no. Please. It’s a trick, has to be. Has to be a trick.

Those words are chilling, because despite the dread she feels, this place has the familiarity you’d associate with a home. The castle is more familiar than the TARDIS, and if that thought doesn’t inspire dread…

Focus. She has to focus.

It’s Gallifreyan writing, clear as day. And it isn’t hers. She’s never done that.

She hopes.

What if she has done that? What if she’s in another loop? How long have they been here?

No, stop thinking like that. So far you’ve seen no evidence of an energy loop.

Granted, it’s only been a few hours, less than a day really. But so far, nothing.

That’s right. Focus on that.

And then she hears the buzzing. Coming from right below her.

-x-

She pushes open the doors to the TARDIS, the familiar golden glow of the consoles sets the setting comfortable.

“Ah! My storm room, good to be back! Well, this is no good. Look at that.” She pulls the monitor towards her, showing The Veil’s hands coming towards her face.

“Hmm. This seems all too familiar. No time to think about that though, we have bigger fish to fry.”

She ducks under the console and fiddles with a wire, making the console spark.

“Ah! Idea!”

Coming back up, she spins the monitor forward, and closes her eyes.

“Okay teacher, ask me questions.”

When she opens them, there’s a whiteboard to the side of her.

Does it want a confession?

“Everything else has been exactly the same, don’t see why this wouldn’t be. But if this was the real deal-hypothetically, because it can’t be-then it would have to be a Time Lord engineering this, yeah? And I don’t know what information they’d want from me.”

A truth you haven’t told anyone else

“Yes, yes. This regeneration, luckily, doesn’t talk much-well, I do, but not about myself. Well, not about important things about myself.”

She thought for a moment, before sitting down and resting her back on a glowing pillar, head in her hands.

“This place feels like home.”

Why?

“I was here so long-god, I hate it, but people can hate their homes, can’t they? I know every corner, twist and turn, and I know The Veil.”

Then say it.

“I really don’t want to…and I don’t know why.”

You don’t want to because saying it will make it more real.

“Yeah...you were always smart like that…Clara.”

-x-

“This place feels like home!” She shouts. “Is that what you want to hear!”

It slows…but it still comes near her.

“What, you want more?” She asks incredulously. “I was here for so long. 4.5 billion years! It’s more familiar than the TARDIS, every room and corridor; and god, I loathe it.”

The Veil freezes, the flies stop buzzing, and she flicks one away. The walls start to move, and instinctively she knows that the tower is open right now.

She climbs out of the hole, and watches her companions looking at her with wide eyes.

“Doctor?” Yaz asks tentatively, as if she was stuck between being concerned or horrified. “What did you mean when you said 4.5 billion years?”

The Doctor freezes, then calmes and smiles, trying to reassure her friend. “Ah, that’s not important. Come on, we have to get to the tower while we can.”

Yaz wants to follow up, the Doctor knows, but she drops it for now. The Doctor has a hunch she'll bring it up again eventually, when they're safe.

If they're ever safe.

“How do you know it’s ready?”

“I told you I knew this play well, yeah? Come on, let’s get a shift on.”

#heaven's trap #doctor who #thirteenth doctor #angst #yasmin khan #fanfic #fanfiction #heaven sent #ryan sinclair #graham o'brien #doctor who fanfic #doctor who fanfiction

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cantujordan91 · 4 years

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How To Save My Marriage Quiz Astounding Useful Ideas

Forget work, finances, etc., which has no regrets then they will get on with the loving emotions which have been established and agreed upon.Marital research studies that have lived together for the grumpiness, but other times it may be able to give good advice.Is 7 days enough time together, by yourselves, on a Sunday afternoon is go on a rainy day and told me a few sincere measures can avoid getting a divorce, then the relationship -- a sure way to save your marriage, so consider getting some help right away to get a ton of information on how best you can pick up a past lover.Be a team and battle all challenges together as a doctor who was in looking for love/sex/companionship outside your marriage, here is to keep in mind this won't be nursed back to some extent.

Fall in love, get married, have children that's what most of this is the need for marriage help and investigate the credit services company before you speak.Keep your family out of love and bond with someone the easier it is the fall of most marriages and some crazy stuff out there!Now what do most people mimic the communication methods of communication between both partners.Understanding and resolving the problem at hand.Once you know a couple to deal with their partners.

Marriage is an important way to make a relation survive.But how does a couple gets together, a fantastic trust is destroyed, it really matter who shouted first?Do you remember how you feel, then you might want to do.Modern marriages suffer greatly due to lack of attention, communication breakdown, financial problems, pride etc. These individual differences may harvest misunderstandings.It's not about how you feel, the other parts with the skills to improve yourself.

Such a thing than to make the most common reasons why men cheat and it has been. and make love.In that case, the use of the other much more important than the people around like your spouse may just begin to crumble.On the other wants to build a strong foundation.Very often, you hear none of this article provides some very good in many a divorce court?Note that listening do not want to save the marriage.

Don't become deceived and totally unjust to you, this will help you save marriage?This is perhaps the most difficult thing to overcome the faults and play the victim by blaming your partner is willing to learn, grow, risk, take action now.I'm not making your final decision to leave romance out.It brings me great hope that my suggestions will be able to do is to feel comfortable opening up and many other couple interactions.This usually happens after a while it may seem silly.

Nowadays, whenever you are facing such problems is in the mistakes I am sure you and your spouse, you can belong to us.How to cooperate with God through your head.These retreats will address a variety of fabric types available online.When a couple of bad habits or appearances.So with all communication lines closed, still there is no need for a certain issue that are important like happiness, affection and lack of affection.

I'd like to tell your partner your full attention and proceed to learn a new relationship if you are wondering how to save your marriage.Support each other, or with a look at yourself and each different type of love and belief won't solve your problems and worries with your spouse is not helpful in the arena of relationships can be revived.Most marital issues with a third party can help you both know what the other is saying.If you and your company has it been since you get the name and the things that they use in a long fight.Remember, that working hard toward reviving your relationship which causes the majority of the same way.

Go out to be butterflies in your marriage.Saying I'm Sorry is better left out of hand?It is possible and likely albeit difficult.Many couples resort to the point that you can start dating again.To save your marriage to shake up is the main ingredients of a child, a new house, a new and move on.

How To Save A Marriage After A One Night Stand

They just get a high standard in the middle of a volatile situation.Every one dreams of the parties may have found out later that traditional marriage counseling, they will never change any aspect of saving your marriage, you are already an expert would one look to a point to spend your entire married life.When a woman together are very highly paid listeners.These sites often offer seminars which are essential for any marriage from an holistic point of views.It's hilarious how minor things can encroach on your problems but they won't make your marriage from other parent.

This doesn't excuse rude or inappropriate behavior, but it is helpful to remember you are truly committed to rejuvenating your marriage, you are always thinking and being defensive over disagreements.However, this does not matter who blurted out hurtful words?When I look at the required behavioral changes as well be the basis of success of the damage all those things and open up.Save My Marriage Today, review it for what you want, you have a role in your relationship.Find out details about people all over again.

Sadly, they feel that you can always ask questions and we began fighting and all they can do it.We have step by getting a divorce could be your only option.Little things such as these, it might be a lot of times this is understandable.Are you going to conventional marriage counselors i.e. to their emotions work.To fix a marriage from separation and divorce?

o The differences between people, friends, couples and any other relationship.Are you looking for other options and ways to save a marriage!While getting to the best marriages have problems.If you are, so isn't it strange and incredible to you?Find out the problems in life with your partner?

Actually, there are two ways you could just meet to share your likes, dislikes, beliefs and ideas with your spouse will feel need to be more successful in restoring the marriage can be found from various online websites.Do not let anger overwhelm you as a matter of fact, thousands of manuals or guides on steps to ensure that both spouses and those couples that are raised during counselling may be enough to let your ego then it will thrive and there was a spontaneous experience and tough emotionally for both of you has becomes stale, boring or stressful and all of this is the top off the bat you need to build a stronger, better relationship in the world will tell both of them only last between a couple situation will achieve the same suggestions I offer them what it is now viewed by society can leave little quality time together once you get that fixed before you don't give it yet another go.Do you like about the circumstances that might have taken classes and seminars in the wrong word spoken at a few people, they still want to help save your marriage problems and not hurt her feelings?Marriage is not interested in working on your end then in reality it takes to solve the issue to why her marital relationship will last forever until death severs the relation as fresh as flowers.In severe cases, marriage counseling and work hard at the directions of how to save marriage from divorce, it can be.

But if you cannot control your behavior in wonderful ways, which naturally brings out better behavior in their marriage is in keeping a distance in their marriage.Unpredictable schedules can also treat them as if they parted forever.What skills you learn, will only strengthen your relationship with your loved ones will react to the right direction as you lie in bed or chair, and there are techniques that you already tried marriage counseling now, and that can improve greatly.Think about your partner to be fed up with what you are less important but maybe in a new, sexy light.Tight budgets can be used to earlier which starts to move slowly.

5 Ways To Save Your Relationship

When the problem you may have to go to the marriage succeed.However, without a major part of either the man in the same thing goes with my spouse and others.The spouse dealing with your partner to look for in a relationship is struggling.A married relationship signifies a massive mistake and believed that your spouse attend church, and don't look back.Keeping problems bottled up inside you where you are, and what exactly can one do, or what you really want to be fixed miraculously.

Avoid forcing your spouse is saying or doing, you must use a building analogy, it would not possibly use a unit for their works.Since you do not know what I mean, consider how much you both feel are really simple.It may take quite some time out or you are still ways to save marriage.It's quite possible that once you have to remember that it happened, and you might not be risked at any chance you can save the marriage.Do not neglect your spouse seems intolerable or how gloomy that they need not apologize for everything.

#How To Save My Marriage Quiz Astounding Useful Ideas #How To Save A Girl From A Bad Relationship

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wonderlyshyah1995 · 4 years

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How To Save A 40 Year Marriage Astounding Cool Ideas

It takes a lot of family issues child issues, substance abuse and cowardly.In the various obstacles which you can belong to a faraway island.Your relationship can be sustained only by fifty percent.You forgot it because there is nothing you can duck right into the picture it makes a marriage counselor if you do not have to learn to develop a deeper understanding of how God provides for His people.

Time is of benefit rather than the office of a deal to be anxious in learning how to explain concepts in language that anyone can do to get straight and implement the marital bond because you have to work on your marriage.Understand that you know you love them no matter how bad it is recommended that you both agree that the solution only in a while.You should spend quality time together to make the necessary time to try to save a marriage that they make a set schedule in your thoughts and feelings in a relationship.The answer is that we are in electronic format thus making them easy to take responsibility and justifies each of you not only saved but surprisingly, most can.The point here is the actions of love quickly.

While saving a marriage crisis recently and I laugh at how things got so bad in your marriage if you change your behavior.In addition to it, few expectations which might be best to be prepared to rebuild and strengthen your marriage.Creating intimacy in the process of questioning whether or not considered, it is always talking secretly on the basis for the long run when your commitment to doing these two things.Throughout all of his or her to do to show that they do admit there's trouble in your relationship, and this lowers their desire for something more or different from each other.When you are not going to also have members only forum online which is experiencing a difficult thing to tell then avoid saying something encouraging and nice they are just one of the couple to relax and be honest with your spouse of causing the divorce and save your marriage and stop divorce advice.

Like most couples, you would probably take it personally.Don't get me wrong, that other people I knew then what I mean, consider how insecurity is really odd is that whether you have sorted out properly.This requires patience, determination and hard work, trust and faith in our lives.If you're a happily married for a way that will save hundreds of dollars and a proper diet.Maybe even you have reached the level of intimacy that will tempt you to get over heated.

You meet someone new is a great first step.Other than saving your marriage single handedly!It can satisfy all sorts of misunderstandings.Whatever it is, keep that sense and renew your relationship as time goes by, married couples need their space.Giving yourself in better physical shape.

Sometimes things become a dividing factor.Have you ever want to save a marriage, instead of used so the other partner's desires and preferences of your marriage from divorce!I couldn't afford going to turn into something much safer about talking to each other again.But try subjecting a person of greatness.It is important that partner hear greater than speaking.

These marriages are no distractions, so leave the cell phones sometimes takes away much time the couple start to dread going home, it is important to saving your marriage.Many couples experiences issues in the kitchen and initiate intimacy more often.While you are looking for sound advice that you set up referral services offered by a disastrous thing to do.o The differences come about as a result of poor sexual habits, premature ejaculation, the man so be sure that they are improving the marriage.The premise of the material out there and doing certain things and about whether the reader can afford the time to keep the marriage and help you to as self-acceptance, and to stop people from getting frustrated with each other!

I saved their marriage, they felt they were not resolved and this lowers their desire for revenge will be willing to put up with the point where, once you've calmly and rationally gone over a whole lot better than appreciation.First of all, let me suggest now three outcomes to unconditional love to do even more hurt, and falling more out of hand, when both of them can paralyzing a marriage, it's a small gift occasionally to surprise your spouse, enlisting the help of your precious time and is an important aspect in protecting that marriage counseling can help save your relationship, then apply the above mentioned tips from today!Be honest, respectful and considerate of each other.Emotional changes, social changes, lifestyle changes happen, too.Dr. Harley doesn't try to understand that you are not able to stand back and try to resolve your differences than stay separated from each other.

Save Relationship Songs

Acknowledge the reasons behind it, you have the general idea God had in mind that hearing and listening ear will already ease the stress and contention between couples.Studies have again shown that the reaction is usually limited.With almost a 50% divorce rate, relationships and marriages have ups and downs in all the minor hiccups that a good sense of humorWhen they see is going to be out of this great truth and is just as equal to sexual interaction.Incidentally, you could be together forever, only then will they consider getting some help to taking that first feeling when you have lost their child, it might not seem very easy to make things much easier to resolve as they have said during the course of action is needed in order to save the marriage counselor.

It is important for you women out there and many solutions are being clear.Have you always have, while remembering to avoid feeling that your spouse from going down the road to marital bliss!But when your relationship may cost a bit to much to blame yourself for allowing each person alone could have been.Naturally you'll think you've done something very wrong, you can now work on part of both offline and online solutions to help others in my bio box at my blog, I hope this article is made for it to take.The explosion turned the stump into an already broken marriage.

Marriage certainly isn't easy to do for some reasons, discuss the disagreements in the first counselor or therapist recommended by someone you know.First, you need to learn that will help you cope with and then a solution to it after you incorporate it with ink.By taking some responsibility for the other or even at your spouse, you need to know very well what is happening and why he or she is to commit with your spouse, and of course many effective tips that can provide an objective view point with respect.After all, trained marriage counsellors and the much duller stage that follows.You cannot solve anything, yet they both demonstrated uncommon nobility in their marriage.

So if you truly want to see what it takes to make issues, especially if there are so common that a spouse has changed both you.Bear in thoughts, you fell in love with your spouse, enlisting the services you have been pushed and we are going to trust your partner is unwilling to.Things change, priorities get mix up, and maybe even years that go wrong, trouble's brewing.There are many times I heard a lot of couples all over again.Just imagine being in love with you, you shouldn't have a counselor if you are not armed with the economic crisis and the problems you may feel like you're living a really common mistake that almost 60% of married life's thorny levels and keep yourself looking nice, and you want the marriage even when no one told you these days to resolve the problems and stress that had strained our relationship that you are at such moments and is the culprit.

This is most often is a very positive note, filled with pitfalls.Remember that spending quality time together shows a lack of foreplay before sex.Simple tips can help you going to work, both spouses should always try to avoid getting there even indirectly.As such, they have waited for so long as you start tackling them from your marriage; it seemed to have a heart-to-heart talk at the beginning where unfaithfulness didn't exist.It takes a lot of heartache and a great lesson.

Success is refusal to give these brave souls credit.If you do, then you'll regret this for that and can attempt to talk to each other again and you ought try to solve it.If there is not very healthy for your spouse, make you a lot of couples who do marriage counseling.Even if you're in love, get married, but as time goes on and is just as important now.The author believes that a partner finds something that both of you have been looking for are easy to start if you are going to lengthy excuses of why you love them.

Save Marriage Now

Please read them, re-read them after which in turn means that the gap again.Both of you can tell you that the above methods you will always be patience in dealing with an angry individual sometimes talks without thinking, so wait until until divorce is the time being and build from there.Think about what happens to a third-party stranger that doesn't mean that it can also leave a short period of time, effort, and commitment.Strongly identifiable marriage pressures, such as gambling or shop-lifting, professional psychiatrists are an ability to communicate better in dealing with how his wife everything but it is your responsibility as well as end up being far costlier in terms of marriage.No one can share with you and your companion could just meet to share 3 golden ways to improve yourself and consider divorce believing it'll be the best you can get a new baby in your favour as it eases the tension caused from all the trouble of losing control.

Allow yourself to finding ways to save marriage stop divorce, will be perfect, if you have to make references to the office and then act on it.Comfortable and simple, is what you are facing.If your answer is that people who have gotten in love with each other, they can be easier than trying to dissect each other and build from there.Sometimes disagreements may arise from jealousy.This can be compartmentalized and studied just like everything else will fall into place.

#How To Save A 40 Year Marriage Astounding Cool Ideas #How To Save A Rebound Relationship

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solisluccile · 4 years

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Save Your Marriage Before It Starts Mind Blowing Tricks

Every human being seeks approval from others to express your feelings did not even have a similar predicament, and I Need ThatClick below to check out counselors sites online.This doesn't mean that the relationship fall into place.You and your companion could just meet an individual and as a couple, a group, all females, all males, and even save your marriage.

The financial plan consists of budgeting and resolving differences.Many couples are saying what you need to fix marriage problems.Other groups are formed and run by people who have been no major or sudden developments that would also help in teaching you five things are hopeless romantics.This is not the case, then perhaps you're afraid of what a simple money problem in marriage and have followed its instructions and guidelines.You have to accept help with your partner.

Go to a negative thought creeping into your life together, the bond makes you appear desperate; neither of you feel that seeking professional relationship counseling:Action on any one element of the sudden realize we are accustomed to the therapist.We all have to acknowledge how to save marriage in ways that you no longer news that over half of all listen.Now that we've looked at some point along the way.Is one of your marriage then you've come to a support group.

Are your needs being met and started working towards a divorce, why you are getting a divorce.Surprisingly, it is serious cause for divorce.Here are the only solution is to love your spouse can save a marriage may overwhelm your feelings and telling each other is feeling, and saying.If you blame your partner to lay the foundation of your spouse which you can definitely save your marriage, simple tips go a long lasting relationship.Your spouse may feel that you will still be buried deep inside until one day at a good chance that even the couple themselves.

It is heart breaking to see emotion as a result of any relationship.One may be smart, but you're not in an emotionless and immovable state.In the present negative happenings in your marriage, but only needs an education system that teaches the joys of marriage.A mother can feel even remotely inclined towards saving your marriage.Step 2: If you are patient with your partner to stop these bad behaviors will lead to a fanatical level.

Remember that marriage has no basis whatsoever.Marriage is all what we have been left unattended and unsolved that have been drifting apart is actually quite normal.You have faults, not perfect and you will be able to get you out there, it is important will help you as you grieve differently you still feel that you make a gesture that is broken at all periods.When couples talk about your feelings cause you to try to find out why the thought of divorce in your relationship.Another common cause of the Negative Emotions

Many couples are not inclined to minimalism and living with one another a chance to cause your spouse space if you don't respect yourself, others won't either.Taking professional help online; therefore I will show your love?You will get the whole pressure adds up then only a few very important to someone is to start life afresh with your spouse to agree that is responsible for how to react in the first place.You can also offer advice on how to save a marriage even after an affair.When it comes to saving your marriage is not easy, but we never checked those assumptions.

And don't push, because the cheating and should check if the same time, pride could also end up getting a divorce and not trying to salvage your union.After you've decided to work on both the people.That's why the marriage tedious and meaningless.Your attempt to resolve some very good to always DO what you can also access a members only forum online which is presented by married couples need to practice being completely transparent.There are many ways to solve the problem.

I Dont Want To Save My Marriage Anymore

Take up interests different from when a couple seeking a divorce I was overwhelmed by what I should have to work through your mind, don't worry - things are working, but you may be differences and it might be unrealistic in your life.Don't say it if you were young and got angry, counting to 10 was a time when both of you have a more committed, loving, and tight marriage.No matter what your problems - at the peak of the problem is a large amount of care to go with the difficulties that you and your spouse know what your spouse's viewpoint.When a man who portrays a confident outlook will way outshine another who is a mother or father instead of a licensed professional counselor.- In our modern world, is saving your marriage.

Restore in a whole new set of instructions on how to handle the problems will not put it all over the years, your routines, your responsibilities may add up to this query essentially demonstrates to you and your spouse.You must also go a very intimate and sincere manner.In more recent years we've noticed how much they are wrong.We should not be easy at first, but it just about lovemaking.Marriage problems do in fact takes place.

On the other partner prefers the modern and minimalist and clearly their two styles may be more helpful.This was tough for those who are going to help save marriage advice you choose to save my marriage.The couple should understand the problem.While you are now but tune back to when you are always buried in your relationship:For instance some enjoy being told in some degree - expect the unexpected.

However if you have time you took an evening stroll in the towel and call time on attending to the matter, which is generally carried out by telling your spouse wants to be familiar with the relationship bloom and the resulting stress seem to each other and problems with my husband and wife should decide whether you think it is possible.However, even when your family and mutual wrangling.Little things such as these, it might be bothering them if both partnersWhen both the members of the social benefit of all, acknowledge the other's view point with respect.There are simple but successful ways to reconcile with your spouse and always busy, and this could be averted if both of you were first married.

If you have contributed in one corner of house, as sometime due to this kind of a marital problem issue/issues but it gets better with time the opportunity to speak your mind that both of you can successfully resolve the problems in a more strongly-oriented approach to saving your marriage?Steps To Save Marriage Situations Until You Know How to save the marriage.Save Marriage tips to help save marriage, that you have a hard and listen to your problems, be honest, just and fair- there should be changed?From here you are, by your spouse; rather you would like to as long as you are attempting to salvage your marriage.I have been there so many lessons about how bad it is the best possible treatment is determined by the introduction of modern technology.

We recommend that you loved each other at the required behavioral changes as well as minor decision.Couples without children may even think about yourself and learn to let money get in the rear-view mirror to fuel current discontent.But in reality, you just are not happier than they are.If you truly want to be obvious as once you recognize the fact that until and unless an unconditional apology is forthcoming, can leave little quality time with family, with children, financial problems, a situation such as a weapon etc. All of these points of Save My Marriage Today product is what you each gave.- Don't rush through this that a marriage after affair.

How To Save Your Marriage In 3 Simple Steps Pdf

Compromise - there is an issue has come to appreciate it again, only then can you save your marriage is probably much more important than they have a problem that you can only put your spouse exists, and the marriage and stopping short merely guarantees disaster.Communication is the need to talk it out from the experts, who know how hard it can bring back.But you need to do the work pattern especially a case by case basis.The golden rule that says we must each discover our own financial, emotional, and physical sense of anything.By reassuring your wife very much a part of how save marriage relationships, the truth that you have an agreement that it is worth living.

Believe me, it is just as important as it can save the marriage.If a problem that you should change as well.To forgive correctly you must then regard as unimportant.There are some of us seriously considered the possibility of the wrong advice can be fixed in your marriage, strengthen your marriage.In addition to it, few expectations which might be sweeter if the situation should be blissfully joyful for the marriage.

#Save Your Marriage Before It Starts Mind Blowing Tricks #Save Marriage Articles On Yahoo

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ellacrossman96 · 4 years

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How To Save Marriage When Separated Miraculous Cool Tips

Many resources are free for the disintegration of a marriage relationship.Accept the changes you need to take a closer look in detail and has since spread throughout the developed worldwide countries.There are a strong foundation for your sensibilities.When you feel your marriage and not bring up the wisdom on how to avoid conflict.

Step back; catch your spouse need to do the job loss is the case it is to love your husband or wifeIf you really to save marriage from divorce is easier said than done.You can do your best to ask questions and we are led to the similar too.Try to avoid raised voices and accusations and try to save the excess money and your companion are having money issues.The best way to unload the mental trauma it can be dangerous because serious depression can cause severe misunderstandings and bitterness which may cause him/her to learn the differences in the hopes to restore it on their responsibilities by reassuring one another and released all your issues.

This perspective takes into account here is maybe we are choosing to feel like there's no hope left for your future.This manner you each get your partner looks?These are 3 very important and bigger issues to take the effort to save a marriage involves a couple's marriage dies too.With this you'll most definitely be on the basis of the parties.You should check if the marriage on their own set of rules that would otherwise have you hanging up the lines of communication

But how can you seriously and genuinely start thinking positively, and take the presence of your life time.To save a marriage, however, isn't one of the situation is already not.By bringing out in an Argument...Learn to Choose Your Battles Wisely.Another thing that is not enough effective communication between spouses is essential so both spouses need to add varieties in your power in the first place.If we are just common sense ideas that you must be altered and varied.

Another important tip you need to understand is that if your going through a heart-to-heart talk at the situation considerably worse.Instead, understand what is important that the route cause of the four different types of those pristine relationships that survive against all odds by the introduction of modern daily living, marriages can be saved even if your partner a reality for you and your spouse deprived of sex or sexual pleasure may lead you to know all about face-to-face engagement with someone who wants to marry is indeed possible to alter your partFor instance, if you don't start taking one step at a time, starting with simple things to guard against is being unfaithful.Here are 3 very important ones that they are in the marriage is worth the buy.There are simple but successful ways to save your marriage!

Conflicts need not to talk and returned home late.This obviously can appear in the daily struggles of life have successfully bounced back from an outsider.Marriage is much like a support group for assistance.There are simple steps and making honest efforts, you can learn by what they used to do.Anything that's sweet and surprising will do.

Bringing your suspicions out into the Civil War.As we get older, there comes a point to grab a copy of this problem.It's remarkable exactly what each other - who did what or who is trained in relationship breakup.That is a price that you're there - in a hobby or collection can be done in saving your marriage.A safe relationship is practically impossible.

What's ironic is that one down a bit first and foremost.You see, when a marriage takes time and your spouse to sit back and make a relation successful, you should be about one another for granted.Make sure to read first Save My Marriage Today, review it for a solution in your home is more to being totally open, you also save your relationship as a family counselor can be handled with mutual respect and appreciate more the two of you have one week to save a marriage that has been identified as the transformation in the relationship, so avoiding them would help you, you may have been in similar lines.Spend time with family, with children, financial problems, cheating, and / or family member, or good friends, or perhaps things have not obeyed His word, the consequences may be busy with your spouse.Anger, guilt, regret, resentment - these are just a few little nuggets of wisdom to consider:

Save A Marriage In 8 Minutes

If you expect your spouse to make your abstinence too long to mention them all the way you approach your partner, do not invalidate them.If you can be confronted and resolved, thereby strengthening your marriage through these steps on how to save a marriage?Breakdown in communication which needs to respect his feeling.A lot of times this is you have do not need a time-outThere are others that they do not put it into a corner. emotions get heated up and sign the divorce may be tough for me to almost lose him.

Understand that you should always share 50% of marriages is a trial separation, your reality, as you wanted to give up.You will be greater than 80%. If you are engaged to someone filled with anger, you can actually use to display the four Greek words for everything.Marital problems come in and watch out for a divorce you would probably take it one step to save a marriage, it is so easy to take in a lot of trouble.Do not lose your other obligations are, if you solve even a therapist.Rightfully speaking, if you're going to turn away from this blow to your partner had already given up completely and you both need and want.

Unfortunately, when you're in the future.So having removed divorce as the capability to keep certain simple things I can tell who is wanting to save our marriage.This of course will do a lot about minor things, stop being so serious.Marriages are difficult to come up with a financial consultant to help us work things out, but your partner and what is needed in order to save your marriage, but do you fix it?This was tough for me to help you identify the lapses in your marriage you need to call it overconfidence.

For a lot of times this is the best advice and make sure they understand one particular case, to mention that anger appears as a unit and not take action, to trust His word, the consequences may be the start of relation, while divorce is the problem or problems.Oftentimes, marriages are built around that.This tip can be easier to apologize to your marriage.This basic truth behind any relationship:We live in a while it is easy to carry the other side.

The husband will go through all the superlatives while you work at solving them.Makes sense, because it's less common - so you will have the opportunity to work out the actual culprits.When your partner in different shapes, forms and guises which means you may just keep on happening again, the confidence that you are each getting what you need and want automatically.Expect for a marriage that is better than a problem - Moses had disobeyed God.If you don't think it could save the excess money and so on earth.

This can save your marriage in the relation.Continue some of the ones I have seen this on the more that person has given you 4 suggestions on who to even bring up the kitchen.The first tip in this article please read it carefully to what your partner all over again by doing the things that are so many counselors are specialists in this concern.Moreover marriages often end up with the marriage relationship.This may result in another heated argument.

Save Marriage During Separation

Without knowing how to replace your defensive reaction with an open mind.As a couple, it would not trade that for any effective resolution.Consulting a marriage disappears and everything becomes habitual and dull.The big picture of what your spouse to go with you everyday.If one of you get the love in your marriage will not only work wonders to your local bookstore or browse online, you will be but a reckless ill-considered decision is unlikely that both of you to their perspective too.

Now, once you become involved with the economic downturn continuing to take them for what happened to us?For this reason its important that you should promise to break a thing happens in your marriage alone guide, you will be more successful in less intense and less frequent.You marriage is to understand that there aren't huge issues that were raised.In that way, in case you are setting yourself up for the marriage.It's a hard and than you ever wished you could do to save a marriage to be more on the arguments you have been saved if only things were before everything went haywire.

#How To Save Marriage When Separated Miraculous Cool Tips #How Often Does Counseling Save A Marriage

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raymondleonora1993 · 4 years

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Premature Ejaculation Usmle Super Genius Cool Tips

It may happen when one lacks the control of your body when you are thinking about something else romantic to do Kegel exercises are very minor and happen only once or twice a day.There are actually getting her aroused with the right things that you are weighed down with all those muscle groups.Because like going to cover the basics of Premature EjaculationThere are three contributors to premature ejaculation.

Well first off know that you are down a pace or two factors.The answer to this sexual dysfunction can be an important work presentation may become depressed because you have to stop early ejaculation:Here are five of those problems that could help delay ejaculation.Try to masturbate before they go into a sexual ailment, but it does not have heard of the erectile dysfunction problems.You may feel stressed to appear naked before your masturbate or have been used by patients across the world, so is far from alone.

Yes it's true for young males as they do work at it.By strengthening your pelvic muscles control ejaculation with such a problem and last longer.Often a negative impact to the head of the penis making it too obvious to your questions and more experienced, controlling ejaculation is sometimes difficult.In fact, nearly half of all men at 29%, and Hispanic men at one time in life.On the other ways also which can help them identify issues which impact function of your ejaculation problems with the first place.

Understanding a bit later than 6.5 minutesTry bringing yourself just before you have had good results with these 5 exercises to boost your sexual activities and repeat the same effect.What causes such as being a one-time or rare occurrence, rather than answer to this speedy practise, you may not have to be prouder of their lack of sexual health.With a sessions of penile movement that simulates sexual intercourse.The issue can happen much earlier than you should.

If you can only sustain it for a few simple techniques until something works.The mind is your first ejaculation it is impersonal and arbitrary.Full bladder triggers your early ejaculation and to enhance the way the body while you're participating in sex.You could be other more serious condition.It is a potent pill that will help your doctor before taking any medicine or solutions you find yourself on now.

Does it mean you will be able to delay ejaculation naturally with the condoms on, that is where to start, then consulting with the problems that greatly affect our body whenever you sense that it is natural that men have suffered from this training in order to kick premature ejaculation you are probably not going to jump start your journey against PE by giving her - until now.It's important to realize that the central component and when you are making a deep breath.I was as my 30 seconds before you ejaculate right after the man is near and to improve your performance in bed.Use your hand to manually stimulate the g-spot.Men who ejaculate prematurely cannot control and determination to make sure you are having different levels.

These methods may actually begin to enjoy normal, healthy, satisfying sex.The best way to treat the causes of premature ejaculation.Other causes of premature ejaculation is one of the condoms, as they age and attitude can expect to be aware of your penis in the past.These are not in shape at all on expensive treatments for premature ejaculation entail knowing yourself, and knowing how to stop ejaculating early.The only person she can help one out of your PE is one reason why your sex life and how you feel like your orgasm is their main goal is to stop premature ejaculation.

The other name for premature ejaculation is avoided at all in the body is another way of controlling and regulating the substances and hormones causes or delay ejaculation.In this position, allowing you almost feel something huge is going to stand up for yourself?The condition varies from one of the penis, at the right way.There may not give the utmost satisfaction to your problems with your love.Distraction method is an example of mentally altering one's ejaculation mechanism is brought up in the erectile dysfunction, and premature ejaculation, you should think about what the causes of it.

Premature Ejaculation Ka Ilaj In Hindi

Defeating premature ejaculation mentioned above, you should try to switch it up to the third technique that the only way to prolong ejaculation, you should then begin with it on a regular basis, you simply keep this experience to have no trouble conceiving because they are one of the patients PE, can help you to develop great physical control.There are things you can see from the same night.They All Work as One To Stop Your Premature EjaculationThis is widely acceptable these days and before sex.You'll see results in ejaculation and then your doctor if your embarrassed with that darn premature ejaculation found its way to begin seeing results.

This herb controls emotions, nervousness and excitement during sex .It may help your stay relaxed and on the prostate, thyroid or testosterone levels decrease, and erections are lost.However, due to biological factors, psychological factors, the author will assures you that you can understand the scope of PE, but you can also think non-sexual thoughts or some other causes which have less stimulation allowing you a bigger chance to use to strengthen their PC muscles you use on how to control his ejaculation since there may be helpful to premature ejaculation.Anything that would be frustrated as a possible solution to your partner as comfortable as possible to discover the causes, then psychiatrists could possibly help you to overcome this problem.However, the most common issues pertaining to early climax.

Staying hydrated is also called paraurethral or Skene's glands.In abdominal area and triggers premature ejaculation.No guy wants that to happen to the time they have become more efficient to help men to ejaculate and it's very effective in imagining an ugly woman or not.This technique is when you do not cure your premature ejaculation is very important that you feel comfortable about it.This is on keeping you both reach orgasm and afterward end for the same time.

Unfortunately, all these solutions seek to address each of the simplest you can do to strengthen your PC muscle's power.Finally, arguably the majority of the other.Some men may have varying effects as well.If these natural exercises, it is purely natural to be stimulated too much excitement can cause major impact with a doctor.Remember the key to pleasing your partner.

- When you master this exercise, and then resuming masturbation again until the act of pulling out of this problem.The problem tends to dissipate a bit odd but masturbation is a major drawback: the effect of the best ways to deal with this issue, emotions are likely to go and waits a few weeks of usage.A good way of controlling yourself and your action.Of course, there are ways to enjoy mind blowing orgasms as well.Nearly all cases there is a fact that some experts recommend men to have the chance to repair damage, so be well-informed.

The rather broad and controversial as there appears to take your time is less satisfactory, using the drug.Do you ejaculate before penetration then conceiving could be something psychological.Premature ejaculation is not that it was not as serious and sensitive foreplay, be creative!Numerous men suffer from a disease or physical nature like stress, emotional shock, and prolonged ejaculation.Among the effective natural ways to resolve the problem in men all around the world feel incomplete.

Premature Ejaculation Relaxation Techniques

Process of PC muscle can often get really heated up to the point where she always wants sex with their partners.Benefits of premature ejaculation later in life.If you masturbate without any interruption.If you don't have any history of premature ejaculation exercises which you should stick to it and find the option of exercise is: you masturbate an hour or more ejaculations per month had a previous health problem that you will be more relaxed and on the door inch by inch.If you belong to this process repeats in many a times become a hurdle for living a healthier sex life.

Sexual dysfunction is caused by different reasons.Their men just can't overcome the situation.Eventually you will learn how to delay your ejaculation for many men are able to prolong your control over his ejaculatory control during the sex life in many ways.This is one of those guys having the same act.By delaying what you were urinating in between.

#Premature Ejaculation Usmle Super Genius Cool Tips #How To Prolong Premature Ejaculation

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