#vinslakte

[kitvinslakte]

One day, a frog decides to take a genealogy test. They do the whole cheek swab thing, mail it in, and wait a few weeks. And you know what they find out?

They're a tadpolish.

Lmfao good job. Thank you.

#literally lol #vinslakte #asks

[kits-weirdass-dream-journal]

This dream has an unreliable narrator who has weird memory blocks, which I wrote then redacted. This is the dream from the character's POV, if you want the unabridged omniscient POV this is the link.

I am running, and then I am falling. I didn't expect to start falling, but explosions will do that to people. Make them fall, I mean. Among other things. Well, at least I'm not on the rooftops anymore. I don't have a problem with heights, but I was starting to run out of places to -well, run.

I don't think they meant to make me fall that far though, they want me alive, for... Something.

Anyway, I'm falling, and then I hit something... Soft? That's a surprise, but then I'm rolling and the ground is hard again.

I look up, expecting to see the goons chasing me lining the rooftop, and I do see that but I also see eyes. There is a boy, my age, laying on his back and looking up at me in surprise.

Oh.

Soft.

I look back up but they're not following me yet. They need to wait for... For my... For someone. For their boss? Yes, yes their boss. He's a mob boss, and they are his mob.

I'm about to run again when I feel a soft hand on my arm. Warm.

"I know somewhere to hide."

---

He runs fast, his blonde hair shining in the dim sunlight. He's more nimble than I would have expected for just having been knocked over onto hard cement pavement. He brings me around a few corners- just out of sight of my pursuers- until we reach a... Bookstore? It has a lot of books, anyway. All of the buildings around are the same, flat beige brutalist design, and though this one is much the same above the first floor, its frontage has a recessed enterance between two large glass displays, all surrounded and set into a rich, dark, carved wood façade. Through the window is only a single desk with a lamp, backed by a tapestry and enshrined in a multitude of densely packed bookshelves that lead back into hallways of even more books on even denser shelves. He held my arm lightly- guidance, not restraint,and pulled me in to the front doors.

A small bell rang as we entered, and as we moved to hide further into the shelves of books a young person with dyed purple-green hair came out from a curtain behind the desk. The boy I was with made a quick gesture, and the person immediately turned serious. They nodded once and turned their sharp gaze on the window, jaw setting as if just that easy they knew what was happening.

We turned a corner, losing sight of the desk and the windows alike, and were surrounded by nearly endless aisles of bookshelves. We didn't move for much longer before we were stopped by someone- a friend of the boy, i'm sure, with how his shoulders relaxed at the sight of her.

She had long brown hair with dyed pink highlights pulled up into a bun. Yellow glasses (that matched her yellow blouse) rested on her nose, and she pushed them further up her face as she spoke.

"Veisi sent out a code three. What's happening."

"We're being chased- well, she's being chased."

"So you brought her here?"

"Its safe," the boy said, almost defensively.

"Is it?" she eyed me carefully. My white shirt and leggings had not been white since I... Since, ████... ██████. █ ███ ███? ████ ████ █ ████, █████████. My feet were bare and dirty, my hair was shoulder length and chaotic. I don't know what she thought of me. █ ███'█ ████ ████ ██ █████ ██ ██████ ██████.

"Come along." she said finally, and led the way further into the shelves.

We reached a narrow stairwell, and on the next level we met two more people- all about the same age as the boy I had met, ███ ██████ I think. They are probably all about 16 or 17? 18 or 19 at the oldest, if anyone looked young. They caught up with us and tagged along behind, whispering with the boy as I followed the pink haired girl.

I wasn't listening very close. There was still an urgency to how I was being herded along, but I wasnt being chased anymore, not in the manner I had been. It was a relief, and my mind started fading into thoughtlessness as I let go of some of the pressure that had been keeping me moving until now. I didn't notice how little energy I'd had left until then.

As we travelled, the books somehow got even denser, piling onto to floor and crowding the already hazardously narrow walkway. When, eventually, we reached a place that wasn't all narrow winding maze, the pink-haired girl leading the way turned and leveled her gaze on me. The soft hand on my arm never wavered.

She spoke with a calmness that was mirrored by the other people gathering around us. Everyone had at least one color in their hair, even the boy had white feathering that nearly blended in with his pale blonde hair.

"We pride █████████ in offering ████ ██ █████ ███ ████ ██, but we need ██ ██████████ more ██ ███ █████████. ███ ███ ███ █████ ██████ █ ███ ███"

I opened my mouth to speak, but could not. ████ █ ████ ██████ ███████ ██ █ ████ ████ ████ ███ ████ I know how, █ ████ ████ ██ █████████ █ ███ ██████

█████ ███ ██████ ████████ ██ ██████ ███ ████████ █ ███ █████ Can I answer her?

████████ ████ ██████████ █ █████████ ██ █████ █████ ███ ██████ █ ███ ██████ ██ ████ ████████ ████ ████████ ███████ I don't ██████ ██ █████ ███████ ████████████ ███ ████████ ██ know██

███████ █████ ███ ██ ██ █████ ███████ ██ ████████ ████ the █████████ █ ███ █ secret ████ ████ ███ ██████ ████

███ ███ ██ ███████ ███ ████████

████████ ███████ █████████ ██ ███ ███████ █████ █████ █████ ████ ██████ ██ ████ █████

████████ ██████ ██████████ ████ █████████ ██ ███

██ ████

█████ ███████ ███ █ ████████ I'm a ████████ ████ ████ ███ █████ ██ █ false █████████ █ ███ █████ ██ █████████ ███ ████ ████ █ ███████ ██████ ███ ████ ███ █ ███████ ████ ███████ ██████ ██ ███████ █ ████ ██ ███ promise ██ ███████ ███

████ █████ ████ ██ █████████ ████ ███████ ███ █ ████ ████████ ███████ ██ ████ ███ █ ██████ ████████ ████ ████ ███ ███████ █ ████ ████ ███ ████ ███ █████ ████ ███ ████████ ████ ████ ██████ ██ ███ ███ █████ ██████ ██ ███ █████ ███ █ ████ ██ ███ ███ ████ ████ ████████ ██ ███ ██

"Look." Says the boy.

I open my eyes and see warm lights, and warm faces, and a pair of warm eyes looking down at me.

What was I just saying? I.. Forget. I must have fallen asleep. I am so very sore, made of bruises and the painful exaustion of overused muscles. But here I feel safe, in these soft arms. "It's going to be okay."

I believe him.

#vinslakte #my writing #my dream

[blargh-chicka-honk-honk]

Apologies for the spam yall... I have, apparently, finally, reached the new queue limit.

#i wasn't *trying* to find the new limit #i just... use my queue... a lot #vinslakte

[humansarespaceaussies]

Hey everyone. Just a quick anouncement! I've decided to sort of broaden the scope of the blog, and I'll get a lot less formal about it. I'll still share anything space-orc related here, but I'll probably also include some other stuff. Things that are great about living on earth, cool facts, cool pictures. I'm hoping this'll make it easier for me to share things more consistently here. I might change up the theme and pfp a bit too, but I plan on keeping the url the same.

#i might also just reblog a bunch of stuff from one of my sideblogs. its already basically an earthly appreciation blog. #vinslakte #not space aussies #off topic

[tragic-hibiscus]

Blood Stone Chronicles- rewrite

part one, chapter one, 1/?

Theo kicked a pebble, bouncing it off the bark of the old oak tree. Jasper was late. Again.

The sound of the schoolyard dimmed, as more and more children drifted home by bus or car. Theo sighed, and considered leaving. It’s not like Theo didn’t have somewhere to be. He’s only here because Jasper likes hanging out in the woods, and Jasper is his friend. We’ll, one of his friends. Theo groaned, rolling his head back and watching they heavy clouds. Okay, if it rains, he’s definitely leaving.

Why am I here again?

A noise startled him out of his head, and he swung around to see Jasper, only a few feet away. Theo released a breath he hadn’t known he had held, just shy of having jumped.

“I spooked you” Jasper snickered, “again.”

“No! You didn’t I was just…”

“Yep. I know that face. I wasn’t even trying to be quiet; you know how many dead leaves I stepped on? And I still spooked you.”

“Did not!”

“Did so!”

Theo threw the first half-hearted punch, and Jasper dodged easily, expecting it with a smile. He stuck his hands in his pockets and danced back, further into the forest, taunting Theo to follow.

“c’mon, I know you can catch me this time!” he dodged again, “First to the bog without falling in?”

“Jas, get back here!”

“No can do, Theo, you tried to hit me, don’t you know my feelings are hurt?”

“Bastard!”

“You know it!” Jasper exclaimed playfully, turning his back and starting to run. Theo gave chase with a smile, despite himself.

---

The forest here was dense and maze-like, but this path was well worn, their destination familiar. Through the trees, down the hill, turn left at the ruins, to the damp space next to the creek. They called it “the bog” but neither of them actually knows what the difference between a bog, a swamp, or a wetland is. Nobody ever comes here. The trees are too dense for most recreational activities, and the soil too damp to travel safely. The locals say that only the desperate and the foolish know the forests depths, but since when have children ever heeded such warnings? They are both out of breath when the reach their finish line, a small raised area of dry land that hosts a single tree, marking the boundary between the harsh soil of the forest and the deep mud of the bog. Jasper swung himself into the branches of the old linden tree, while Theo slide to a stop just shy of the mud.

“I,” Jasper panted, “win.”

“No, you, didn’t,” said Theo, equally winded. Jasper smiled at him, and Theo looked away.

The sound of babbling water drifted through the trees as their panting breathes evened out. The air here was even colder than it was by the school, but Jasper didn’t seem to notice. With his breath caught, Jasper had started climbing higher. Theo watched on, uneager to follow and a bit peeved that his friend didn’t seem to notice the chill. Theo rested his hand on a convenient branch, gripped as if to start climbing, then relaxed his grip. He stared at his hand for a moment. He should follow Jasper. He always follows Jasper.

He stared up, watching his friend disappear between the branches. Something felt weird, today. Nothing was different, but…

Theo shook his head, dislodging misplaced anxiety, and lifted himself up into the branches of the towering old tree in a shower of yellow leaves.

By the time Theo met up with Jasper, he was already at the highest point they could reach before the branches got too thin. The world swayed in the wind as they stared out through the treetops. Jasper’s eyes were far away, a slight grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. Theo watched him for several minutes before Jasper even seemed to register his presence, a silent moment where Theo felt warmth deep in his bones despite the cruel wind whipping through their too thin jackets. Then, all too soon, it passed and Jasper gave him that trouble making grin again. The sun was lowering itself all to quickly, and Theo knew it was only going to get colder, but these moments, running and climbing and teasing with Jasper always made him feel like nothing could hurt him.

#tbsc #my writing #my ocs #original characters #original fiction #part one #vinslakte

[vinslakte]

he/they/it. white. usa. scan my barcode pride flag to get a great deal on arbitrary gender-envy!

#vinslakte

[clutterpunk-collecting]

^^^ the only reason im using this blog rn

#i think i have a problem #vinslakte

[kitvinslakte]

Im going to the beach today! I was *so* excited to go to the beach today that i had to have a fucking dream about evading the US military, carrying russian warheads, and trying not to drown.

#somewhat less enthused about the beach and debating not going at all... #vinslakte

[kitvinslakte]

Wea need.to normalizea dunking a bottlea of water on yourself on hot days. Uncivilized my ass civilization is over rated. Your FACE is unprofessional. Fuck off. Its hot.

#vinslakte #can u guess what my current weather situation is? #hint: BAD

[kitvinslakte]

I used to like drinking byt not like being drunk, now im the other way around and go straiht to whiskey wen ih feel like itm

Funny sensations. Spinny but still. Sinking but weightless. Like Dissociating Extra™.

#work sucks i think i deserev to get drunk and eat food and do my laundry sometimes. shouldnt need to work 10hrs aday 5 days aweek 4 it :( #i deserve easy life. i deserce. desetve. desert. i deserve dessert yes exactly. #vinslakte

[kitvinslakte]

.

#vinslakte #i feel like im being deepfried #hhhhhh #every thought is like im swimming tgrough a bog fir dry land but keep getting algea in my everything #also theres no dry land its just algea #maybe exacutive function is just algea

[kitvinslakte]

just personal thoughts i want to get written out

i feel like i'm being sabotaged by myself. my living conditions are not great and ive been unsure how much of that is my *situation* or *me* bc like. i leave trash around (because theres nowhere to put it) and i leave food out (because the kitchen doesnt feel safe) and i dont do my laundry or clean up my room anytime (because its overwhelming, because i dont have the time or energy, because much of the mess isnt mine to move and so it'll never be *better* enough to let me breath so why bother...) and i don't know how much of that is my adhd, my laziness, my outside stress?

but this week and the next i'm housesitting at my parents, and i figured- it's not like a controlled experiment but i wanted to see if i could operate like a human for this period of time. I would work my usual hours, but instead of having a 45 minute drive home to a house that didn't feel right to me, i'm driving 15 minutes to something clean and all mine (for now). And i made the decision- every day i would make at least one meal that constitutes "real food" to me. I would keep the trash where it belongs, i would do chores and laundry and be responsible. and that worked great for exactly one day, because then i got sick and it's been 3 days of this. i haven't been working (obviously) but im also leaving trash everywhere (tissues, like anyone does when the're sick, right?) and i haven't cleaned up after myslef at all... i feel like if i weren't sick i would probably be fine but the whole point was to test myself and! I'm failing! and i can't decide if the sickness excuses my failure or if being out of work should make up for the lack of energy. I look at the mess i've made already and it feels like with this little cold i've signed my death warrent. It's not the situation or the commute or anything. it's just me, being broken and lazy and useless and i'll never ever change so why should i try?

If this cold had waited just another few days i think maybe i wouldve handled it better, if i'd kept on track of what id set out to do until then. but because i failed the test i set for myself- something i thought would be easy!- i feel like i have the answer to my question now. that theres no way out. no matter where i move or what job i have or how hard i try... if i have my own space or not... if i am comfortable or not... i will always be a useless slob. and i know! I know what to say. it's my depression talking. i dont want to stop trying, not really. i think. im just. tired. i guess.

i want to be better.

i want to be able to handle shit like a person.

maybe i should just go to bed and hope i can prove myself wrong. ill get better soon. then i'll show myself i can clean up after my messes. i can work, and feed myself, and keep my space clean... ill be fine. i just need to give myself another chance

#yeah‚ i dont really believe that last bit but. i'll keep saying it until it works‚ right? #vinslakte #rambling #personal #on a scale of 1 to 10‚ how much do i want to stop existing?

[kitvinslakte]

Its funny. I soften struggle to feed myself, let alone make real food or healthy food. But i also dont live in the most comfortable place; the kitchen is always dirty and cluttered, the pans are slowly shedding their antistick lining, the dishes are half-clean and stored in likewise half-clean cabinets, and even everything outside the kitchen is pilled high with other peoples stuff. Which is fine, i mean, its not my house. But that doesnt help either, having that constant feeling that none of these spaces were meant for me, not even my own room. But i didn't think those things were strongly affecting my diet...

Well. Im house sitting elsewhere for a couple weeks and today is day 2. I already made more 'real' food than i have in months prior. I made soup! And eggs! And sandwiches and tea, and i ate an apple.... I think maybe part of it is my brain being stimulated by a new environment or something, but. It feels good, to have this kind of freedom.

Anyway. Heres hoping i have the best 2 weeks of food.

#vinslakte #food mention #ed tw #? ig? i dont think i have an eating disorder but my behavior on highstress-lowspoon days are v similar

[kitvinslakte]

Im doing great why do you ask

Second image is just to make it a shorter post.

#vinslakte #uhhh depression and suicidal ideation tws #not looking for feedback just. yaknow. #venting

[kitvinslakte]

time feels like its playing tricks on me.

semi personal stream of consciousness follows.

I saw a post here that was "for people in their twenties" and I got sad. like, oh, I guess that's not for me anymore. I scrolled down three more posts before remembering that I am in fact twenty four. and then I realized I'm not twenty four, actually, I haven't been for a while, and will in fact be twenty seven quite soon. I don't feel my age... I'm either younger or older, or both, but right now its just... its like nothing fits quite right. physically i feel like I'm 38, but i look 22. emotionally I feel about right, I guess. I'm too desperate to be much older but too mellow to be younger, right? but mentally I feel like I'm still playing catch-up to everyone around me, even to the newly hired teenagers working the same entry level job I've been at for three years. why can't I just. exist at a pace that doesn't leave me dragging along. can't I do anything?

I've always felt like I just need to get away from this town, away from the comfort of this dead end life I've been living and then I'll learn the things I've been afraid to know. how to move on, to let go, to forget.

Ah, see, there's the rub. I have been forgetting. I forget all the time. I can't remember anything important. maybe I feel this way, feel like the walls are closing in around me, feel like I'm running out of time to escape because a part of me is afraid I'll forget how to. maybe I'll just exist in this nowhere place forever, until some part of this fragile system I've tied myself to collapses, and I drown, dragged down by the weights I once needed to stay afloat.I don't want this life to be all I know. People always say "running away doesn't fix anything" and "the grass wont be greener, it just looks that way" and I can't say they're wrong I just can't stop feeling like I'm drowning and what else can I do I am stuck, stuck in this fucking job and this fucking town and I can't breath I cant

I keep thinking "I want to go home."

I want to go home.

I think this even when I'm in the place I consider home, now. I just. I don't know what I'm missing. …oh.

i… don't consider it home, do i.

That’s what I was missing, right?

It wont fix the job and the drowning and the fear and the memory but. If I can figure out why my… why where I live isn't my home, maybe I can fix that, at least.

But I don't want to leave.

It's not my home, but… I love the person I have there, and If I left I wouldn't take them with me. And I don't think I can change much about the space itself to *make* it a home, not really. its small and dirty and full of someone elses stuff, someone elses life. even if I could… fixing that wont fix anything else. I still feel sick when I think about having to go to my job. "I like my job!" I say, to myself, every day, every day, I don't know when I last truly believed it. Belief in belief, right? If I believe hard enough that I like my job, maybe this gnawing nausea will recede, maybe my nightmares will go away, maybe ill stop seeing imaginary flies buzzing around my head all day.

I had a truly disgusting dream, a few weeks ago. I can feel echoes of it in my waking life, now. I feel like I'm rotting from the inside out, and one day ill collapse in a cloud of black rot and spores.

What is this feeling. This feeling of not enough- too much- all wrong- inside out sickness that permeates my life now. Every waking moment and most of my dreaming ones too. Why can't I just be okay enough.

I hate this. I hate everything about this.

I just want to go home.

I just want to go home.

#vinslakte #im...tired #i do wish the nausea would go away though #well. i didn't get nauseous for the first 26 years of my life... maybe it's making up for lost time? #oh god i hate that #personal #oh and to be clear im fine w ppl reading and responding to these sorts of things. #not that i would recommend reading this shit. #i mark it personal so people know they aren't obligated to read or care about this

[kitvinslakte]

Miraaanda

#vinslakte #my cats #miranda