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#watching tv and playing a video game and my brain is still fixating and spinning out of control this isnt fairrr
gaystardykeco · 10 months
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cant imagine what ppl who arent constantly ruminating on everything do with all that brain power like what do u mean ur brain isnt a bottomless pit of obsession and u can actually think normally about stuff
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gyrfa-gariadus · 3 years
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I've never age regressed or pet regressed and I've been trying for a month now and i still cant and I need help so can you help me I will accept anything
Hi I’d love to try to help but please keep in mind I’m not a professional.
This may be hard to do because there may be many reasons that you can’t regress at all.But my biggest recommendation is to dip into a bit of age dreaming rather than regression.
this is when It’s when someone acts like a child and may do childish things, but never really mentally switches to a younger mindset. It’s similar to age regression.
Be patient. Especially when using this as a coping mechanism because these things take time to build up and actually use.
Listen to your body and Brain. This may just be something you’re not able to do. Personally as an alter I can’t age regress because it would trigger out a little in our system. Some people may not able to because it would bring up trauma they’re not ready to deal with.
The reason I’m recommending age dreaming however is because I’m assuming you’re struggling to get into the regression mindset Regression is a safety mindset and if you're not feeling safe, it's not going to happen easily. Yes, sometimes we regress cuz we're feeling bad, but the regression is acting as an equaliser; to help return you to a feeling of safety. The best way I can describe this is like ‘dreaming’ or pretending to be an age.This way the headspace can be controlled by the dreamer and can last as long as needed.
Some things that may help you is :
•things that make you feel nostalgic
•food from your childhood
•kids shows
•colouring or drawing in a very free or childish manner
•child appropriate music that makes you feel happy
•you can try an age dreaming/regression journal
•if your comfortable it may help to have friends who regress or someone who wants to/ or is willing to talk about it with you
•watching YouTubers or tv shows from your childhood
•maybe reading kids books
•trying a hobby you have in a more childish manner
•try playing with toys
•Surround yourself with cuddly toys , blankets, and other objects you love
•Chew on a teether or a stim toy
•play calming video games like animal crossing
•Download kids games on your phone
•try to get into hobbies you had as a kid
As for pet regression I’d have to wait to ask J for more information.
I can say though that you may find that a lot of your natural behaviors are similar to a certain animal/pet you feel drawn too or really love.
For example, maybe you identify as a pet cat because you tend to fixate on bells and other jingly items, as well as moving objects (especially if they’re spinning)
From there looking through the tags for that animal. so for a fox you could look up #foxre,#fox regression # fox regressor. If you’re comfortable connecting with and talking to other pet regressors about their experiences. Often in the tags people will mention things they do to help regress. This is usually different for each animal so would be a lot for me to but in this but looking though the tags will hopefully help.
Here’s some links that may help:
Tips to get out of big space
Things to feel more little
What to do while regressed
How to start feeling small
Things that help to regress
15 things to help you feel small
How to get little on your own
Gentle reminder to those who can't "let go" when they try to regress
Things to help with puppy regression
More puppy regression
Things to do in Bunny regression
Things to do in kitten/cat regression
Wolf regression 1
Wold regression 2
Wolf regression 3
Fox regression blog
Fox regression blog 2
Pet regression blog
Dog regression blog
Ferret regression blog
Pet core/regression blog
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duelistkingdom · 4 years
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part ii
atem has a nightmare. beta’ed by @millenniumpuzzle​
(also on ao3)
Atem’s nightmares generally were hard to explain. Some of them he was stumbling around through darkness and calling out for Yugi with no reply. Sometimes it felt like he was being watched, but every time he turned around, there was nothing but more darkness. Other times it was like he was trapped in his last day alive... ever since getting his memories back, it was like his mind wanted to fixate on that death. Out of all the memories he had to fixate on, that was the one that came through the clearest, and perhaps it had just been driven home by the shadow RPG he’d been forced to play. He dreamt of betrayal and being stabbed in the gut by someone he trusted the most. Sometimes the face would change. However, the worst of all were the ones that started with smoke
The fire blazed around and the puzzle was shattered... Atem was shattered. Helpless to do anything, helpless to help. He would hear Yugi’s voice, hissing as he put each piece of the puzzle back together in a burning room. He was aware of what was happening. He was aware and there was nothing he could do about it. Suddenly, the dream deviated from what happened that day. This time, there was no light, no sounds of Jonouchi and Honda attempting to free the puzzle, nothing. Everything was dark and Atem could feel in his gut something horrible happened. If Yugi had never come to have the puzzle, then Yugi would still be here. Yugi’s hands would be undamaged. This was all his fault.
Something happened while he was chained to the puzzle, unable to help. In fact, he was starting to lose grip on reality entirely. He suddenly couldn’t remember anything but darkness. He deserved this, really. It was his fault, after all. It was slipping away, twisting up and then it shifted again. He was standing in front of Pandora but something was very wrong. Something wasn’t right. He realized what was wrong: he was losing and he was losing bad. Nothing in his hand could turn this around. And he realized, with horror, that Yugi was going to die as a result of his failure. The blades would sink into Yugi’s legs and Yugi would bleed out here on this floor in this basement far away from their friends. The Eye of Horus burnt into Yugi’s palm stared up at him judgmentally – a reminder of another time he had failed to protect Yugi. He stared deep into the Eye, begging for answers to help save Yugi. He didn’t care if he died, so long as Yugi would be fine. This was all his fault.
The dream shifted once more and he was sinking. The ocean was all around him and he could do nothing to save Jonouchi nor Yugi. They were both going to die and it was his fault. The burns on Yugi’s hands never faded from view despite the darkening of the ocean around them. This was all his fault.
It didn’t let him, twisting around as he stood on the green seal and realized it was there because he played it. Yugi was gone, gone, and he feared it was forever. It was his fault. Yugi had told him not to play it and he did anyway. He hadn’t known that he was risking Yugi’s soul and by the gods, he wished he could take it back. No amount of begging changed it, nothing brought Yugi back to him. It was all his fault. This was all his fault.
And suddenly, he awoke with a start and realized that there were tears that were threatening to spill. He sat up, surprised to see that he had been dreaming. Really, dreaming was a foreign concept to Atem after spending three thousand years unable to sleep at all. Even when Yugi’s soul had been temporarily gone from their shared body, Atem didn’t dream when he “slept” and it could even be argued that he wasn’t really sleeping when he was using Yugi’s body full-time. It had been hard to explain to their friends exactly the inner workings, but it was more like when he had “slept” as a ghost in Yugi’s body, it was more like he was simply allowing the body itself to rest. Ergo, having his own body that actually did dream and did allow him to sleep was entirely new. So far, he did not like it.
For a minute, he considered Yugi’s room. For him, this had been home for the past four years and with the memories Yugi had shared with him, he knew this room far better than his own ancient bedroom. He knew the games that sat on the bookshelf and which ones were missing pieces. He knew the books on there as well. He even knew the small TV and video game consoles were Christmas gifts from his mother when Yugi was eight. Examining the room as a reminder of the fact that he was alive and in his own body helped calm his rapid heartbeat. Next to him, Yugi shifted in his sleep to rest on his side and curl up on the pillow.
Yugi insisted he didn’t snore. However, right now, with Yugi’s gentle snoring, Atem could only smile. He’d known for the past four years that Yugi snored, but it was the first time it meant that he’d have a little bit of a hard time falling back asleep. So, he didn’t. Instead he merely watched Yugi, his hand reaching to lightly touch Yugi’s cheek. Being able to touch Yugi and feel his warmth would never get old, Atem decided. Earlier tonight, Atem had helped Yugi to undress for bed. It wasn’t as easy as when he would just take over Yugi’s body and do it for him, but he tried anyway. It was interesting to see the blush appear on Yugi’s cheeks when Atem had unbuttoned Yugi’s shirt... the hitch in his breath when Atem’s fingers had undid his pants... a lovely memory, Atem decided. Why his brain never conjured up those kinds of memories when he was sleeping, he’d never know.
He traced out the details of Yugi’s face, admiring the way his skin felt so smooth under his fingertips. He tried to avoid looking at the puckered skin and the unsettling appearance of skin still gashed open from flames. Instead, he focused on anywhere else but Yugi’s hands. He focused on how soft Yugi’s cheeks felt when he pressed his hand against his cheek. He focused on the soft snores coming from Yugi and wondered what Yugi was dreaming about. He knew now that Yugi had nightmares too and he wished he could make them stop. If there was anyone on this Earth who deserved nothing but the best, it was Yugi... at least, in his opinion.
Underneath him, Yugi stirred and his eyes opened slowly to stare into Atem’s eyes. “Sorry,” Atem whispered, cautious of the others that lived in the house with them. “Did I wake you?”
Yugi shook his head before moving to press a soft kiss to Atem’s lips, his arms more than eagerly wrapping around Atem. This surprised Atem but he was more than happy to take it. Being able to actually physically touch Yugi was a sensation he’d never get enough of. To actually feel the heat radiating from Yugi, to actually hold Yugi close to him, to taste his lips... all of it was overwhelming at times. It made his head feel rather light, actually. Yugi pulled away before whispering, “Any reason you’re awake, other me?”
Now that was a question that Atem did not want to answer. He wanted to go back to kissing Yugi... maybe even doing a little more than kissing with Yugi. Unfortunately, he couldn’t bring himself to ignore the question. “I... had a nightmare,” Atem admitted, not exactly relishing in the way Yugi’s eyes seemed to slightly narrow with concern. “It was... nothing, really. Just the standard nightmare.”
A month ago, Yugi had admitted to Atem that he was having nightmares about Atem having to leave. He had no idea that Atem was facing a similar problem when he tried to sleep. Then again... it made sense now. Every time Yugi woke in the middle of the night, Atem was almost always either awake himself or not far behind in terms of waking up. He had just assumed that Atem needed less sleep but now he realized that was a foolish belief. “Standard,” Yugi asked as he moved to gently cup Atem’s cheek, “You mean you’ve been having nightmares before? Why didn’t you tell me?”
Atem gave Yugi a wry smile before noting, “You didn’t exactly tell me you were having nightmares until very recently either, aibou,” he pointed out. “Besides... it’s… nothing, really.”
Yugi flushed at that before shaking his head. “You shouldn’t have to go through this alone,” he insisted, pressing a quick kiss against Atem’s neck. “Please... tell me what it was about.”
Atem stiffened despite himself. No matter how loving Yugi’s touches were, the image of Yugi’s burned hands flashed in his head. Those were his fault. And if he reminded Yugi of every reason to not stay... he couldn’t bring himself to finish the thought. It was an unfair thought. Not only that, it was selfish. Then again, Atem had already been so selfish in staying with Yugi, damn the consequences. “Fire,” he finally said, quietly, his hands moving to grab both of Yugi’s and hold them close to his chest. “And... how many times you were almost lost to me. How it was my fault. Aibou, I am so sorry -”
“Don’t you dare apologize,” Yugi cut him off, a fierce look in his eyes. Atem was startled, his grip loosening, but Yugi covered Atem’s hands again. Atem gazed down at Yugi’s hold on him, frowning as he noted the scars that were all his fault. “It’s not your fault my hands are scarred, other me. I chose to stay in that fire to save you because I could not stand the idea of losing you. I was terrified in that blaze, yes, but not for my own safety. For you. I stayed for you and I don’t regret it. These scars are symbols of my devotion to you, other me.”
With that, Atem gazed up into Yugi’s eyes and the look was still fierce but now Atem could fully understand what was in them: love. Pure, unadulterated love. For him. It made Atem’s head spin. Once again, he wondered how he got so lucky to have someone as wonderful as Yugi actually love him. Not only that... all he could focus on was how Yugi viewed the scars upon his hands. Not as proof of a failure to be protected by him, but as proof of devotion. Atem simply couldn’t regard them in the same way that Yugi did. No matter what, all he’d ever see was a time he failed to protect Yugi from harm. He had taken it upon himself to protect Yugi, yes, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t take that role seriously.
Not only that, it was unfair. Atem’s body held no such similar scars, no such sign of how he was willing to give his life to protect Yugi. He had nothing to show for the time he shared a body with Yugi. Any scar he’d discovered on his body was a scar from when he had been pharaoh. Any scar he might’ve gotten from protecting Yugi was... on Yugi’s body. He knew Yugi’s body better than his own. After all, he’d spent four years using it as his own when he did not have a flesh and blood body. He could point out every scar on Yugi’s body and know exactly where Yugi got it from. Even the ones that had nothing to do with him.
Still, gazing into Yugi’s eyes, he knew better than to argue. Yugi had always told him that if they were a team, then Yugi had a duty to protect him as well. This was something that he never found a counter-argument for and so he simply considered the matter closed. Still, he wondered if Yugi resented him for the lack of scars upon his body due to the journey they had went through together. “Aibou... it’s not just the fire I dream of,” he said. “I’ve... I’ve got so many regrets. I’m the reason you even have nightmares to begin with. How many times were you threatened because of me? And... not only that... I failed so many times at keeping you safe. I let the dark win once and you were lost because of it and I can’t even begin...”
“That was my choice too,” Yugi said, well aware what he was referring to. He sometimes had nightmares of the seal too. Of watching Atem be corrupted by its dark influence and refusing to listen to him. Of going against Yugi’s wishes. That had terrified him, but what scared him even more was the idea of Atem never coming back from the seal’s dark influence. “I chose to be taken by the seal to save you. Because even then, I loved you. I still love you, other me. I’m just grateful that the seal’s influence over you didn’t stick.”
It wasn’t the first time Yugi had ever told Atem that he loved him, but it still never failed to make Atem breathless when he heard Yugi say those words. It was something to relish, after all. Yugi loved him and for that, he was grateful. For that, he would never stop being grateful. Being loved by Yugi made Atem feel like he could be a better person. That he could be worthy of bathing in the light. He wasn’t sure why Yugi bothered with him still. “Aibou,” he whispered, desperate to explain himself. He couldn’t begin to explain his love for Yugi. It was thanks to Yugi that he was even alive and whole. He would’ve been left to wander the darkness if it hadn’t been for Yugi.
Yugi didn’t need Atem to say anything, however. Yugi pressed in, granting Atem yet another kiss. Atem let himself drown in it, and he didn’t care if he ever surfaced again. Every single kiss felt like it was granted by the Gods themselves, a taste of heaven. In fact, at this point, Atem was certain that no heaven would ever be complete without Yugi’s gentle, loving kiss. He could never get enough. Yugi had smirked up against Atem’s lips before flipping them around, pinning Atem beneath him. And when Yugi’s lips pressed to his jawline, he knew that for the rest of the night, neither of them would be thinking about nightmares.
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yanderenctstan · 4 years
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Rotting
Second random imagine, another kind of gross one but I like it a lot. As you can probably tell, dark fiction is most definitely my forte, though I do have cute ones as well written up in my head~
Word Count: 1683
Warnings: F! OC, cannibalism, mentions of blood
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Naomi shuffled into the small apartment that Renjun invited her to. It was messier than she expected. Stains dropped from the off-white walls, the blue fabricated couch torn in certain spots on the cushions, the floor broken up, and the giant flatscreen in the wall littered with wires swirling around and tangling into one dark spot inside the wall which she figured was the cable box and Ethernet cords. Renjun hurried ahead of her, setting his hat and jacket on the tattered couch and making way for the cluttered kitchen.
“Hungry for anything babe?” her boyfriend asked nonchalantly. A shudder ran down her body at the sound of the pet name he gave her. Something about the place she was in now unsettled her. She hadn’t noticed her arms wrapped around her chest or her legs tensing from standing so firmly. She craned her neck up to look at him.
“Uh… no, not exactly. I had lunch a few hours ago.” she lied. Naomi was hungry, she was just nervous for whatever he’d cook for her. On the outside, Renjun was nothing like this. He was sweet, well-groomed, and intelligent. His apartment made him look like a psychopath who had nothing better to do other than sit around and eat and maybe play a video game here and there. It needed some serious attention paid to it. Naomi was slightly surprised his past girlfriends hadn’t said anything to him about it. He’d had several that she knew of, though it didn't bother her much. Why hadn’t any of them bothered to say anything about it?
Renjun made a face at her, the dim lighting shadowing his features.
“Well, would you mind staying for dinner then?” a smile formed over his face, brightening him slightly. Something in Naomi told her to say no to him. To leave as soon as possible. Though she couldn’t find it in her heart to tell him so. He hadn’t exactly given her a reason and simply judging from his apartment was a bit rude.
“I guess, as long as it isn’t too too late…” she replied, finding a seat on the torn couch. Her bottom sank deeply, feeling nothing but spring beneath her. It wasn’t comfortable at all. Now, to her right, she had a better look at the kitchen.
Dirty and rusted pots and pans stood stacked on top of each other against the food encrusted walls. Dishes pile in the sink and even on the floor. The fridge donned a singular brown-reddish mark running down the side of the door from the freezer. Something about it made Naomi’s stomach churn. She knew it was probably just rust, but she had the eerie feeling hanging over her head at the sight. She felt her body begin to tremble slightly. Her mind immediately finding every bad thing and shoveling it to the front. It was so specific. An odd thing in an even odder place. 
“Everything okay Naomi?” Renjun snapped her out of her thoughts, her head whirling around to meet his eyes. Those deep, brown eyes. Most of the time she could find comfort in them. Something this time, however, made her feel uneasy.
“I- uh… yeah… I’m fine. You should clean your fridge, there’s rust running from the freezer…” she mumbled. Renjun twitched. She had taken him off guard. His eyes scanned over the fridge door where the single line of rust dripped down. He took a deep breath.
“Yes,” he replied softly, “yes I should...” he moved away from her. The disturbing aura around him didn’t calm her anxiety in the slightest. What was it about that drip? It couldn’t have been blood, could it? Why would there be blood in the freezer?
Renjun grabbed a reddened washcloth that hung over the sink. Dark red. The faucet squeaked in protest as he turned the handle, yellow-orange water rushing over the rag. As Renjun wiped the drip the cloth left a red streak behind it which he hurriedly rid of as well. Once he was done he tossed the cloth back into the sink. Naomi licked her lips nervously, which quickly dried again due to the cold a/c of the room. Renjun came by once again, smiling sinking himself into the cushion beside Naomi. His arm draped over her shoulder and it took everything in her not to jerk away. She didn’t want to be touched or even looked at by him as of that moment. She couldn’t place her finger on it, but something was just off.
“I’m going to the restroom.” she surged energy into her legs, up and forward, quickly making way through the house to what she thought would be the bathroom. She swung the door open and closed within an instant, letting her body fall forward onto the partially broken sink. She didn’t notice herself hyperventilating until she looked in the shattered mirror in front of her. Pieces of her face scattered along the glass. She could barely make out the fear in her own features. Naomi rested her back against the porcelain and stared around the room. More rust leaking from the bath faucet and the hole where the shower head was supposed to be. The light above her head flickered vigorously as a fly buzzed in her ear, the sound making her head spin. Blue-ish green nauseated her brain as it closed in on her. She had to leave.
Now.
Gulping, she waited another two or so minutes before flushing the toilet to make it seem like she had actually gone. She quieted her footsteps, padding to the bathroom door to sit back down with Renjun and try to convince him to take her home. The door didn’t creak as it opened, slowly, carefully. Naomi shut the light off with a flick of her finger and closed the door behind her. For some reason, she held her breath in her chest. What if he told her no? Could she make it out by herself and just walk home? Before any of these questions could be answered, she was already moving. But not to Renjun. Her feet took her to the kitchen.
Her eyes were locked onto the living room. Renjun hadn’t even seemed to notice her leave the bathroom, invested in whatever the tv was showing him. Another quiet gulp and she continued. She refused to turn her back on him, watching for the dishes and pans on the floor to make sure she didn’t trip. For the most part though her eyes remained fixated on him. His fingers tapped nervously against the back of the couch. He was waiting for her to hurry out to see her again.
A cold hard surface softly came into contact with her back. Naomi aligned herself with the wall, tearing her eyes from Renjun to the freezer. A faint streak of red still painted on the white fridge. A foul odor overtook her nose. She could almost taste it. Something like rotting meat that had been left for days. She wasn’t that surprised considering his living situation, but could the man at least throw out bad meat when he smelled it? There was absolutely no way he was insensitive to this.
Her small hand wrapped around the handle of the freezer. It wobbled, probably from being forced open and from old age. Naomi pinched her nostrils shut with her fingers before tugging on the handle. The suction from the inside held it closed. She pulled harder, finally yanking it open. A quiet hum resounded in her ears and the stench spilled out even stronger. Naomi nearly vomited right then and there, gagging to herself. She moved away from the wall, checking to see if Renjun had noticed anything yet. He was still there, on the couch. Watching.
Finally Naomi couldn’t take it anymore and forced herself to open the freezer wider. Horror shook her body to its core. The hand protecting her nose from the god awful stink moved to cover her mouth to stop herself from screaming. Indeed the meat was rotting, but the meat was human. Three arms with the hands cut off, a liver in a plastic bag, someone’s intestines in a red-stained tupperware container, different colored meat slabs on a plate, and a heart with some arteries still attached, flaring at her with an almost angry red. Bleeding over the freezer door. New.
Her knuckles were white from gripping the handle so tightly. She didn’t know what to do. How to react. Should she run back into the bathroom and call the police? Should she confront him? Attack him? Should she just leave and say nothing? She was too shocked to cry let alone move. Her head snapped back to where he was in the living room. He wasn’t watching the tv anymore. He was watching her.
“Find anything you like baby?” he cooed, smiling as if the sight in front of her were just some frozen vegetables and popsicles. She told her body to run, but instead she sank onto the floor against the wall as the hum of the freezer sang louder in her ears, a heap of sobbing, unmoving, terror on the linoleum flooring. It consumed all of her, compelling her to stay in her place. Footsteps started making way towards her, though she stayed where she was. Renjun stood in the archway of the kitchen, hands on his hips and gazing down at her.
“Aw it’s not so bad. You’ll come to like it, just tastes like chicken like the movies say.” he laughed at his own joke. Naomi couldn’t even bring herself to meet his eyes anymore, too much swirling and clouding her brain to comprehend what to do. She still couldn’t bring herself to move away.
Get up, god, please, get up...
She didn’t move.
“There there, Naomi, I won’t hurt you. I like you better than the rest, so you get to stay with me! Sound good?” he crouched down, holding her body close to his. She didn’t respond, instead opting to stay curled against him, a trembling, bawling mess.
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