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raguna-blade · 4 years

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Revolutionary Girl Utena 4-7

Hm...Not quite as clean as last time, but hey. Less stewing, for better or worse. And God, shit just keeps happening.

Episode 4

Opening 10000@ chunked full of meaning. Similarly, lacking context for any of it right now, so that's s for later, .

Still trying to get over the bit where the two are in armor and look like they're about to come to blows before going in the same direction though.

Express the eternal beauty huh.

Also, Nanami you trfling what are you....

Woman can put her logic on a man huh...? Odd, but ok.

It's kinda amazing how much folks be putting on Anthy and not people who are actually, you know, who are actually to blame. Gotta get that Rose Bride who does....uh...Something. Girlfriend(?), Muse, Key to reVOLUTION???? Little talk o anthy. For literally everyone so far.

Though Miki at least seems to acknowledge her a bit.

When's Nanami's turn to fight.

Shadow Girls gonna make us feel mad dumb later. Feelin it.

Nanami jesus christ chill the fuck out. The most trifling bullshit I swear. Petty bullshit. Mind, Middle schooler so.

Ok, hey, that's a FUCK ton of snails. Like goddamn. Named them...? Uh... Uhhhhhhhh.

THAT IS A WHOLE ASS SNAKE WHOA HEY WAIT A MINUTE. Garter Snake but.

Makin the maxuse of those repeat frames and text.

Also, all night for the snake...?

An...Octopus....?

AN OCTOPUS? WHAT THE FUCK. YES NANAMI

A ballooon?

Miki, you literally know nothing about her.

Nanami soul crushed. Chuchu just..Trollin.

Seriously though, Anthy and animals that a thing?

Nananmi actually asking a relevant question. Why DOES everyone like Anthy so much out of nowhere? She's cute, but she's kinda reclusive so...?

Where'd Anthy learn that song? Didn't Miki write it...? Also, homeboy's sister? Found your shining thing huh?

Ending Also Clearly has some meaning that I'm not quite getting. Rose Bride Utena is...Kinda weird. Feels wrong? Gotta sit down with the lyrics for op and ending though. But yeah, both them rose brides feels...Odd. And it seems to be mirroring? So that's strange.

Do it for Miki's sake? Right and not for hers...?

Episode 5

Huh. Shadow Girls share VA with the teaming masses of school girls. Also, the budget for these fight scenes.

Why is it always the same three girls btw?

Does the Entire senior Student council just talk in riddles? Saionji was pretty straightforward but he's a dumbass apparently.

Awkward Confusing smiles abound. And this damn monkey again. I don't even dislike him he's just there. And those eyes.....

Wrote a famous song...? Uhhhhh. Sibs huh.

Destroyed the garden own hands? Miki did you do something to your sister? Oh hey caged bird little girl? Sure it's nothing.

And he left her (of no choice of his own cause fucking measles) sis got traumatized, and now idolizing that memory and his sister?

Is she dead or something? Have you talked with her? Also, where the hell...

WHAT ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH MIKI?

Utena: Please be a person Anthy I fucking beg you. This duel bullshit is dumb.

Anthy: Ok, but I'm your bride. I am down with this system my girl.

SHELL BREAKING. Wait a second, does this elevator thing happen right before every duel or revelation?

Are there only- hold up, dissolve the student council. Hey good on you Miki.

Miki: Aint this gonna fuck something up for people.

Touga: Aight, but hey if you feel it fuck the system kid.

Miki, just ignoring his sis and...what's with the dishevelment. Was she...? Piano room's not for HOLY SHIT WAS SHE FUCKING TOUGA

Sis looks just like you, But you're cuter. Uhhhhhhhhhhh

Touga, Only the winner get's to do what they want. And I banged your sister who you seem to hate, y u mad.

Miki: My sis used to look cute as an angel. You look like an angel btw

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Anthy: *BLANK EMPTY LOOK” OF COURSE I'LL STOP IF SHE TELLS ME I AM THE ROSE BRIDE

Touga: INCREASINGLY NUDE: Hey, REMEMBER THE ROSE BRIDE SHIT I JUST TOLD YOU. YOU GOTTA BE BUFF TO HAVE THE BRIDE BRUH

Two Steps: Miki I will Trash the System Touga Interrupt Fuck, I guess I gotta fight Utena in this barbaric bullshit. Due Time.

SHADOW GALS APPROVE PIRACY. Also, What do you want.

Dat Absolute Destiny Yeahhhhhhhh Settin the Mood. Someone's about to get Some kind of REVELATION. From DIOS. Or some such. Actually, Dios is pretty close to god (I may be super wrong here) but the possibly flipping nature of it all is I guess, some kind of truth thing since if it were pure skill, as suggested with Juri losing to Miki somehow, utena deffo wouldn't have beaten Saionji. So, Whoever has the better understanding of things get's the power of Dios? Thus the power to change the world? Seems straightforward enough. Though why Anthy has that power.

NEW DUEL THEME. DOPE SONGS What's the meaning cause man, they're apparently different per duel, as per (?????) which seems so so far.

Miki: I want the Bride!

Utena: YOU SURE THIS IS HOW YOU WANT IT?

Miki, SHE WANTS THE FREE

Anthy: SOULLESS EYES. For real, she needs to emote.more regular like. Seemingly likes Utena so....

Utena Wins, Defloration Complete. Beat, like that, one stroke.

Miki's Sis: I freaked out on stage and was never good. People thought I was though

Miki: I'M GONNA GO ALL OUT ON THIS DUEL SHIT YOU WATCH.

Utena: DO YOU NOT GET IT BRUH?

Episode 6

Ah, the good ole days when you could repeat frames like that.

Nanami almost dies, weird faceless stalker and car driver, mk

Nanami: SOMEONE IS TRYING TO KILL ME, LEMME JUST HOP ON THIS TABLE TO PROVE THE POINT.

Touga: I have Important s THOT s student council work.

Oh shit that hit her square in the face..

Utena: Trying to Kill Nanami Clearly.

That ball is lodged in her dome damn.

Utena: TOGAS A THOT, FACT

Touga: KILL THEM. KILL THE VERMIN

Anthy: Life is life. Leave it be.

Nanami: MY BROTHER WANTS ME DEAD. ANTHY IS BEHIND THIS. THAT WITCH SEDUCING HIM

Why does everyone think he'd kill his sister. Damn Nanami. What's your relationship that people buy it immediately.

A whole ass horse and...chickens?

Prince Appeared. Mitsuru Tsuwabuki....?????????? Watch for the name I guess.

Why...Why do they assume all these dudes are her type off hand? Like...

Oh hey he has a face and is a small boy ok. Uh...Hey, Are you prpositioning a child. Um.

Shadow Gals what he fuck does curry have to do with it. Are y'all trollin.

Also, hey Nanami. Uh. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

ACTUALLY DATING A KID? TO JEALOUS YOUR BROTHER? WAT

A Brocon. And a drama queen. Everyone is baffled.

What the fuck is he doing in the locker. Just...snapped her fingers. Under her desk. Man slave boy. Uh

uhhhhhh.

WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU COME FROM SAIONJI. Hidden Love

Hard Ignore.

Nanami: Who are you three idiots. WHERE DID THE BOY COME FROM.

Y'all about to throw down with a kid. And he's...He won, damn. PUT HIS BODY IN THE LAKE JESUS.

Nanami: Mitsuru is my boyfriend. I can treat him how I like.

Mitsuru: ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A BOYFRIEND

Is this...Is this a rosebride thing? Like a kinda fucky mirror jam?

Also, did Touga 1v1 a Bull and win? What the fuck? I agree Mitsuru, he's pretty cool yeah.

Be a Big Bro, not a boyfriend. No choice but to put her in danger again in order to get her to be what I want.

Where did that equipment come from.

WHAT IS WITH THIS SCHOOL. A KANGAROO? WERE THEY GONNA BOX THIS ASSHOLE?

So, Mitsuru as rosebride, Gotta Protec, get’s wrecked. So...Uh..Anthy....?

Boy fucked up that kangaroo. 1V1 me YOU PUSSY DO IT COWARD.

Nanami: Don't be an idiot jesus fucking christ. I CAN'T JUST LET SOMEONE USEFUL DIE FOR ME GOD.

Was...Was Touga the one fighting the Kangaroo...For Real? Why...Why was he...One PUNCH.

Mitsuru: Lemme be your bro please.

Episode 7

Ohp, Serious time out the gate ok. Guess 6 was a palette cleanser.

Juri: Dominant. Sure I'm buff but what for? God.

Juri Arisugawa? Alice Refs...? Seen that name used that way before. I'll watch for it.

Huh, the immediate mirroring with Utena is...odd?

Juri: Fuck Off Vice Principal.

Wait, was he hitting on...her...? Oh that's not.

Chuchu always with Utena? Huh.

Also Juri, Dominant as fuck, offing students left and right.

Oh, she's explaining things. Rosebride gives power to revolution.

Utena: Oh cool, super powers. Dope. Seems MAD FUCKING STUPID.

Juri: Yeah. Seems dumb right.

Ok, juri uh...Has EVERYONE Slapped Anthy thus far? Like...Ok? Does Everyone Get a Turn? Is...Is this a thing? It's kinda.

SHELL TIME. DUEL? DUELL?

End of the World: DUEL TIME

Is touga trying to kill Miki. What's with knives man? Miki. HOW MANY KNIVES. BLINDFOLDS

Juri: I don't believe any of this shit. I'll prove it's bs.

Old love. It's 1000000% not this dude. Don't you. Play me.

ORANGE ROSE AT CROTCH LEVEL WHAT? And she got denied I guess...?

SHES IN LOVE WITH SOMOENE AND ITS NOT YOU.

There was some love triangle shit, and girl is perpetrating.

MUSIC GONE. SHITS REAL

Jesus this show is just full of bullshit.

Ok, we had a moment with why utena is the way is she is, Juri Does not approve. Miracles are Bullshit, I will dunk you in the the fucking OCEAN.

Rabbits Dance all around huh. OK.

SHADOW GALS. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.

ABSOLUTE DESTINY TIME. TIME FOR SOMEONES IDEALS TO GET BUSTED I GUESS.

Also, like how the various wings on the garden go from vaguely angelic to kinda ominous. I mean the whole deal is sketchy as fuck, you don't just start singing about the apocalypse and ignore it. DARKNESS OF LIGHT DAWG. DARKNESS DARKNESS EVERYWHERE. KINGDOM HEARTS WISHES!

Also is that castle CG? It feels it but...

Juri: MIRACLES ARE BS BUT IF THEY'RE REAL SHOW ME THE TRUFACTS

Utena: NOT SURE ABOUT MIRACLES BUT WHATEVER I DON'T NEED THAT SHIT.

FIGHT. Oh boy new song.

Lucifers light...? Uh...All of this is ominous as fuck. Then a bunch of night and darkness gods.

Certainty of Death, Namely Light.

Sword Falls Just so to cut the Rose. Uh. Miracle....?

Uh...Juri Was Robbed.

Consistently though, the stronger convictions won. Juri was legit robbed, but she hesitated, so she lost.

Juri: MIRACLES ARE BULLSHIT AND MY GAY LOVE WAS NOT RESPECTED GOD

Also, Juri=Lucifer? For...The Student Council...? She does seem to be the one who least believes in this shit. She didn’t even duel utena for the rose bride like literally everyone else. She just wanted to prove Utena’s ideals wrong.

#Revolutionary Girl Utena #Liveblog #This Show is all up in the symbols like goddamn #Can't even have a doofy filler episode without QUESTIONABLE SEMIOTICS #Anthy Slides Further Into the Uncanny Valley.

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bronzeflower · 5 years

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Who The Fuck Writes A Ten-Page Rant?????

Chapter 21: The Rappest Conversation

Also on ao3

It was your self-imposed day off, so you started the day by sleeping until afternoon. After making yourself breakfast and eating it, you played Slime Rancher for about two hours because it was a nice relaxing game that Roxy bought you for Gristmas last year.

Everything was peaceful. Nothing could possibly ruin this.

Oh look. John was pestering you. You hadn't talked to him in while, even though he was your best bro. You guessed both of you have been pretty busy lately.

-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

EB: hey, dave! EB: we haven’t spoken in ages!

TG: yeah man its been entirely too long TG: ive turned to dust while you were gone TG: ive become one with the desert and sand TG: im the sand on the beach that gets stuck inside an oyster TG: and the oyster is like what the hell are you doing here you dumbass motherfucking sand TG: im here to ruin your life oyster TG: thats basically my job TG: why are you doing this you tiny bit of sand TG: i already answered that question TG: okay fine be that way says the oyster TG: ill just turn you into a pearl so that youre no longer stabbing me everywhere TG: and then i was transformed into a dope ass pearl TG: the prettiest goddamn pearl in all the land TG: im turned into one of a pair of earrings that are sold for more that your life is worth TG: im bought by a rich woman looking for jewelry to show off TG: its passed down through the generations until the wealth they had dwindles and runs out TG: so now the earrings are sold for a dollar just to get the money for food that night TG: its a tragic tale TG: anyway TG: how are you doing

EB: dave, did you copy and paste an entire act of a play into this chat?

TG: what no TG: it is all natural and organic typing from scratch going on here TG: absolutely no foul play involved and to even imply such is an insult to my craft

EB: alright, fine! EB: i will not insult your “masterpiece” anymore. EB: if you can even call it that.

TG: oh wow sick burn TG: but like seriously speaking how is your stuff going TG: like the comedy stuff TG: have you yet to release an hour long special containing your hilarious jokes TG: and like half of the time is taken up by people laughing at them so its not even a true hour long special its more like a half hour long special and you didnt even manage to make it through all the material you had prepared TG: you know like you did in school where you accidentally prepared too much for a presentation and then get cut off because your time is up TG: and you still have like an hour and half left of material that youve collected that ended up just being a pile of wasted effort

EB: maybe not to that extreme. EB: :P EB: i haven't gotten my show up on netflix yet, but i am certainly planning on it! EB: watch out for it!

TG: do you still have that one person booing you at a bunch of your shows

EB: yeah, it is getting pretty annoying at this point, but i don't really want to do something like call security to remove someone for booing at my show. EB: that just seems as little bit over kill.

TG: i thought you were going to do a comedy sketch about them

EB: oh yeah! EB: i forgot about that.

TG: who are you jade harley

EB: what! EB: jade is great at remembering things!

TG: shes really not she just has a really fucking good system for making certain she remembers things TG: she has to build a physical barrier to her door so that she doesnt forget her keys TG: and she has so many keys to her house they are literally everywhere

EB: huh. EB: i guess i havent really visited jade in a while, have i?

TG: i would highly recommend going to her place at some point TG: and just hanging out with her in general TG: although youd probably have to plan a whole trip for it TG: just like TG: drop by or whatever next time youre where shes currently living

EB: messaging her might be a little bit more practical.

TG: yeah probably TG: anyway you really should get on writing that sketch about the lady I booing you

EB: yeah probably.

TG: yeah man how else are you going to get back at her TG: also when you finally do perform it please tell me what happened TG: or send me a recording of it TG: jk ill buy the recording TG: i always buy the recordings of your shows TG: but youll have to tell me which recording its in so that i can prepare myself

EB: maybe i won’t tell you which recording it’s in just so you're surprised by it. EB: like a schrodinger’s recording.

TG: does that mean you might be dead in one of them

EB: i hate to tell you this now dave, but i’m actually a ghost.

TG: shit ive been friends with a ghost this whole time thats actually pretty fucking dope TG: how do you do comedy sketches as a ghost TG: with the whole intangible thing TG: also with the people not being able to see you thing TG: wait TG: i wouldnt be able to message you if you were completely intangible TG: you must be a poltergeist or something TG: is there anything i can do to help you pass on

EB: yeah, you have to burn my body. EB: that’s what they do in all of the supernatural movies and shows where there’s a ghost.

TG: alright i am fully prepared to do that TG: i however have absolutely no idea where your grave is

EB: i know where your grave is.

TG: well thats not ominous at all TG: i dont even have a grave

EB: as far as you know.

TG: are you telling me that im dead TG: am i also a ghost

EB: i’m sorry i didn’t tell you sooner! EB: but yes we’re both ghosts. EB: i was supposed to wait for you to figure it out yourself, but it’s taking so long, so i guess i got a little impatient. EB: :B

TG: yeah but i still dont remember anything about dying or anything like that

EB: maybe you'll remember someday. EB: i’ve got to go right about now though. EB: i compromised my mission, and now i have to go through remedial training.

TG: ill wish you luck

EB: who needs luck when you have skill?

TG: okay then no good luck from me TG: i take it back TG: youve got this handled due to the sheer amount of awesomeness you have

-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

TG: oh no they got you TG: i know i said i didnt wish you good luck but i actually did TG: you cant give back a good luck TG: you can never give back a good luck TG: the blessing is yours now forever and ever TG: or however long you live i guess TG: thats going to take a butt load of time TG: anyway TG: i should probably get going too TG: instead of just having a conversation by myself after you left TG: and like go and have a conversation with someone else TG: maybe with jade TG: i havent talked to jade in a while TG: wonder how her pumpkins are doing TG: i wonder if shes harvested them yet TG: or if its even time for that TG: i swear i do actually listen when she talks about gardening TG: but i dont remember what half the harvest times for a bunch of the vegetables she grows TG: dont tell her that TG: or do TG: she probably already knows TG: shes always had a tendency to know things that other people would have absolutely no clue of knowing about TG: anyway TG: ill pester you again at some point eventually TG: ill go pester jade instead now TG: see ya

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

TG: yo jade how are your pumpkins doing TG: is it about time to harvest them or anything TG: or has that already happened TG: when do people harvest pumpkins again

GG: ive harvested them!

TG: awesome were they tasty

GG: of course they were!!! GG: i made pumpkin pie and roasted pumpkin seeds GG: and then i sold all the leftover pumpkins

TG: yeah what kind of profit did that turn

GG: quite a bit, actually! GG: especially with the fact that pumpkins are basically weeds GG: because they grow back no matter what you do GG: no GG: matter GG: what GG: but people fucking love pumpkins during the fall seasons

TG: yeah everyone goes batshit for that kind of stuff TG: got that pumpkin spice everywhere TG: and colorful trees and sweater weather TG: unless you live in the south TG: then there are just two seasons TG: summer and cooler summer

GG: those were basically the seasons on the island i grew up on too GG: im so glad i get to see snow where i live now!!! GG: i always wanted to play in it growing up!!!

TG: tbh we should coordinate and try to play in the snow together at some point

GG: yes!!! GG: but, no GG: :( GG: itd be way too difficult to coordinate that kind of thing

TG: yeah probably TG: but maybe one day if we happened to be in the same area and it happened to snow TG: we could get together and play in the snow and build snowpeople and snow angles

GG: dont you mean snow angels?

TG: i meant what i said TG: were gonna be drawing angles in the snow TG: forty five degrees sixty degrees one hundred and eighty degrees TG: well have all the angles right there written in the snow because no one can tell us what to do

GG: i still think id rather make snow angels though

TG: fair enough TG: you stick with your boring old snow angels TG: and ill have a fantastic time making all my fucking snow angles

GG: :/ GG: you do that, i guess GG: i still think making snow angels will be more fun!

TG: suit yourself TG: anyway im being messaged by someone else so ive gotta bounce

GG: alrighty, see ya!

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

GC: D4V3

TG: terezi

GC: H4V3 YOU S33N TH1S?? GC: F1L3.COM

TG: well it would seem that im being framed for murder and no one told me

GC: NO GC: 1N C4S3 TH4T H4PP3N3D 1 WOULD S3RV3 4S YOUR PROS3CUT3R

TG: wouldnt you be unable to participate in the trial because you have a bias because were friends

GC: Y3S BUT TH4T 1S B3S1D3 TH3 PO1NT GC: W41T GC: 1S 1T B3S1D3 THE PO1NT OR B3S1D3S TH3 PO1NT??

TG: no idea TG: does it matter

GC: 1 GU3SS NOT GC: JUST LOOK 4T TH3 GODD4MN M3M3

TG: nice

GC: H3H3H3H3H3H3

-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

CG: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

TG: so what stuck itself up your ass

CG: DID TEREZI SEND YOU THAT MEME?

TG: what meme i have no idea what meme your talking about

TG: i dont even know what a meme is TG: you could hear me say that but i pronounced meme as me me TG: because thats how little i know about memes TG: ive never even seen one in my life TG: you dont have any proof that tz showed me the meme that you are talking about like less than five minutes ago about the ten page rant that you sent to complain about my channel

CG: THAT’S REALLY SPECIFIC, AND IT MAKES ME SUSPICIOUS AND PRIVY TO THE IDEA THAT YOU ACTUALLY DO KNOW WHAT A MEME IS.

TG: please spare me i have a family

CG: I WASN’T AWARE THAT YOU HAD KIDS.

TG: youre right i dont have kids TG: not in reality TG: imaginary kids TG: all running around and being great and fantastic and not fucked up at all TG: thats the fucking dream

CG: DAVE, WE’RE NOT HERE TO DISCUSS YOUR INSECURITIES DEALING WITH THE POSSIBILITY OF HAVING KIDS OR WORKING WITH KIDS. CG: WE’RE HERE TO TALK ABOUT THE MEME TEREZI SENT YOU.

TG: why do you even care so much about a meme TG: its a meme and its harmless fun TG: even if it does include a picture of you topless

CG: EXACTLY. CG: I’M GOING TO NEED YOU TO DELETE ANY EVIDENCE OF THAT PICTURE, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU WANT TO KEEP IT.

TG: why would i want to keep it TG: maybe i already deleted it TG: maybe i didnt even save it TG: also why do you want me to delete so bad TG: its not much in the way of blackmail TG: who could possibly use it against you

CG: PEOPLE.

TG: thats specific

CG: I’M NOT REALLY IN THE MOOD FOR GOING INTO TOO MUCH DETAIL ABOUT THIS, SO COULD YOU PLEASE JUST TAKE MY WORD FOR IT AND DELETE THAT PHOTO?

TG: k

CG: REALLY? CG: JUST LIKE THAT?

TG: sure if it really matters to you that much ill make sure to get rid of it TG: you can tell me why at another time TG: i get if its too personal to talk about or whatever TG: sometimes that kind of thing happens TG: there we go TG: deleted photo

CG: THANKS

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

-- arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

AC: :33< *ac prowls up to the unsuspecting crow* AC: :33< *she asks meow the crow is doing!*

TG: *the crow says hes doing well and asks the same of the cat*

AC: :33< im fine! AC: :33< im meowstly just double checking the date and time we agr33d on for tea

TG: yeah im still on that day TG: just cant believe it in like a month and a half TG: seems like an almost unnecessary time to plan in advance

AC: :33< but it is a really meowfurlous tea place! AC: :33< its just a little exclawsive, so youve got to make reservations a bit in advance

TG: yeah i get that but the main question here is the dress code TG: can i show up in my jeans and hoodie or do ive got to pull out the singular suit i have TG: its bright red so i cant exactly wear it to black tie events

AC: :33< it s33ms more like mew should wear brunch attire

TG: khakis and a polo shirt got it

AC: ://< i guess thats brunch attire AC: :33< i would wear something a little nicer though

TG: so more like colorful khakis with a button down shirt that can hold cufflinks

AC: :33< yeah thats s33ms more appropriate AC: :33< mew could always ask kanya~a for advice on what to wear

TG: yeah im probably going to do that TG: also that cat pun in her name that you did was the best think ive heard all day ten out of ten would use again

AC: :33< thank mew! AC: :33< i like to give all meow furends cat pun names! AC: :33< its kind of hard to come up with them for some people though

TG: yeah im not sure how you can make a cat pun from dave TG: its pretty much impossible but if you do manage to do it i will be supremely impressed

AC: :33< meowbe a rhyming thing? AC: :33< like cavedave or something? AC: :33< but that makes you sound like some sort of caveman AC: :((< and thats not really cute

TG: maybe adding a hobby of mine of some sort to my name TG: like rapping TG: like rapnap dave or something TG: cause it sounds kind of like catnap

AC: :33< that certainly is a lot cuter! AC: :33< ill consider it! AC: :33< but ive got to go meow so we can talk later

TG: cool

-- arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

Since you were clearly talking to all your friends today, you might as well see if Aradia’s online as well. You’re pretty sure she was, and since you probably won’t get to contact her for a while, you might as well message her now.

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering apocalypseArisen [AA] --

TG: have you finally figured out how im going to die TG: or divined that kind of shit yet TG: saw it in the clouds or something TG: my hot as hell dead body floating in the water staining the fluid and polluting the river and making it muddy with red TG: taking a stabbing and falling and dying before i could ask if it was something i said TG: choking to death, clubbing to death TG: hit through the chest with some white magic TG: bleeding and crying as they take their last breath TG: its all just so horrible and tragic TG: having every single one of these dreams TG: but i think i know that theyre memories TG: had these nightmares since i was a kid TG: always wondered if it was something i did TG: cause they made me scared of clowns swords and puppets TG: made me too scared to watch even the muppets TG: but they’re not just mine cause it’s not always my body TG: lying on the ground looking super fucking shoddy TG: and all i can feel is the oppression and fear TG: of letting go of all we hold dear TG: stabbed with a sword we did abhor TG: all the death and the violence and blood TG: overwhelmed us like a flood TG: but try as we might we had no chance TG: we were always meant to lose this dance TG: alright im done that was a dope ass fucking rap thanks folks for listening to how awesome that was

AA: you will die on the twentieth day of april in the year of 2069 from drug overdose

TG: nice

AA: also your rap was both cool and concerning

TG: yeah im not sure if i actually thought at all about what i just said in that rap TG: so basically i forgot everything that i just wrote

AA: thats the beauty of a messaging platform AA: you can just scroll up and reread what you wrote

TG: im sorry im suddenly unable to read

AA: wow AA: youre really going to do this

TG: yes and i have no regrets TG: hi im jared im nineteen and i never fucking learned how to read

AA: your name is dave

TG: shit TG: caught in the lie TG: what time will i have to spend in jail officer

AA: well since im not a cop AA: none! AA: but im still curious about whatever the hell was going on with that rap

TG: maybe you should respond with the stuff thats bothering you in rap form TG: do a little rap battle TG: but like TG: with feelings and shit TG: you can talk about whats bothering you and then i can elaborate on the fuckery in my rap

AA: alright i dont see why not AA: it will probably help us both AA: my heart and my brains been pulled taught AA: stuck between work and the one that i love AA: cant help my job fits me like a glove AA: but i cant stop thinking about my matesprit AA: how hes gonna face it AA: cause he says he supports me AA: and he says that he agrees AA: with putting my job first and foremost AA: while he sits in one place and holds post AA: i didnt mind too much before AA: we had all i could adore AA: but since he proposed were going to be married AA: i just dont know if that life should be carried

TG: well that sounds like something you should talk about TG: because not doing so might leave you in a drought TG: in your relationship where miscommunications TG: might lead to decimation TG: or more likely just breaking up TG: but you dont want that to burn up TG: so just have a talk with him about your concern TG: and then your love will continue to burn

AA: did you just rhyme up with up

TG: dont judge me im trying to help

AA: your advice was good but i can still judge you for your lack of slam poetry skills

TG: hey ill have you know im the best in the business

AA: must be a very small business

TG: wow TG: i cant believe my own moirail would do this to me

AA: you know i had to do it to em

TG: i hate you and everything that you stand for

AA: likewise AA: aside from that AA: do you want to talk about those dreams you mentioned at the start of this conversation

TG: i will only answer that if you ask me in a rap

AA: what the fuck was up with those dreams AA: you seem to be tearing at the seems AA: with all the death and the dying AA: and it might seems like im lying AA: but ive had those too AA: hit in the face and bid me adieu AA: except im a ghost and dead AA: dont know how but i bled AA: then im a frog for some reason AA: it has something to do with treason AA: then a robot that i hated AA: someones kinks that were stated AA: then i blow up again and again AA: wake up in pajamas the color of cayenne AA: and thats when i know that im alive AA: and i know for a fact that i will thrive

TG: always thought that i was alone in this TG: but i guess im not so now ill remiss TG: on all these nightmares ive had TG: that were all really bad TG: i always thought it was because of my childhood TG: never thought that i would be old enough to get to my knighthood TG: thought i was going to die alone TG: thought they wouldnt even find a bone TG: thought no would care if i was gone TG: always felt like i didnt belong TG: i thought the dreams were a message, an order TG: to finally get rid of the disorder TG: that was me theyd promised id be free TG: but i still desperately wanted to be TG: alive and awake and active and happy TG: excuse me if this starts to get a bit sappy TG: but i wanted love TG: i wanted to be above TG: my bro who so obviously hated me TG: and everyone i know would agree TG: so no matter how much i wanted to die TG: there was always something just keeping me alive TG: a wish or a kiss or a day that gets better TG: a time when i get to open a letter TG: theres something to live for something to survive for TG: going and traveling and taking a tour TG: listening to music when i feel depressed TG: going outside when i feel repressed TG: reminding myself its gonna be alright TG: in order to tell myself not to go towards the light

AA: feeling alive is good

TG: yeah TG: it is TG: thanks for listening

AA: thank you for listening! AA: thats what being moirails is all about AA: listening to each other and doing our best to comfort each other AA: although i guess thats what friendship is about too AA: moirail is more of a formal title

TG: i get that TG: someones messaging me now though so i guess this is where we can end our convo

AA: dont be a stranger!

TG: not planning to be one TG: <>

`AA: <>

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering apocalypseArisen [AA] --

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

TT: Hello.

TG: yes just come up and start a chat using the most generic fucking greeting in the entire goddamn world TG: thats exactly how you start a conversation with someone youve known for years TG: start conversations by calling your friends a bitch like the rest of us

TT: I’m pretty sure I would like to have a little more class than that.

TG: ill bring you down to my level one day

TT: I will do my best to resist going down that low.

TG: listen TG: im pretty sure you dont have to go that far

TT: Wow. TT: Rude.

TG: thats a more appropriate way to talk to your brother

TT: I’ll be certain to use more crass language when greeting you next time I make the decision to start a conversation with you.

TG: anyway what did you want to talk to me about

TT: I would like to invite you to my party celebrating the release of my new book. TT: It takes place in a month at my house.

TG: you mean your big ass mansion

TT: Yes, I suppose that is an apt description of the location where I reside. TT: I suggest you dress formally for the occasion. TT: You can wear the suit that you had recently tailored for you.

TG: oh yeah the one kanaya made that feels like the softest goddamn plush toy in the childrens aisle

TT: Yes, please wear that one.

TG: alrighty sounds good to me

TT: Not going to argue about wearing jeans and a T-shirt instead?

TG: nah TG: not this time at least TG: im kind of excited to wear the one kanaya made anyway TG: especially since its the first suit that i actually kind of like

TT: Well, I look forward to seeing you at my party in a suit. TT: For now, I must go and give a few others personal invitations.

TG: k you do that

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

You proceeded to play videos games for the rest of the day because it was, in fact, your day off. You had to spend some of it by yourself after all.

#homestuck #hs #dave strider #rose lalonde #jade harley #john egbert #aradia megido #pale aradave #aradave

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auburnfamilynews · 4 years

Link

Something tells me that if you clicked on this, you need a laugh. I know I need something to laugh at to keep from crying, and probably when I do start laughing, I will be crying.

AAAAANYWHO, I have always thought, if Auburn is going to lose, let it be a night game. If they lose an 11 am game, I have all day to drink. If its at night, I will just want to go to bed and my liver is all the better for it. Thus was this week. So let’s dive in to the hilarity that was Week Whatever (Week 2 SEC)

PAGING LEON LOTT

For all you youngz (Ryan), Leon Lott was a defensive lineman for the Dallas Cowboys. During one of the Cowboys Super Bowl games with the Bills, Lott scooped a fumble and was Primetiming it to the endzone when Don Beebee came up from behind and knocked the ball out of his hands and through the endzone for a touchback.

One would think that this would end such practices from ever taking place again, BUT OH CONTRARE MONFRARE!!

LET’S GO (not so) LIVE TO WEST POINT!!

Albilene Christian RB tosses up a Tyreek Hill peace sign to the defense then proceeds to get tackled (Thx @DSpig26) pic.twitter.com/4lsxPhIwGF

— Freezing Cold Takes (@OldTakesExposed) October 3, 2020

That’s a double taunt on Abilene Christian as, not only was he copying a previous ‘tail lights’ play, but also, he’s saying peace to our Armed Forces cadets! SHAME ON YOU! YOU KNOW ‘MERICA ALWAYS CHASES YOU DOWN!

From there we go to our very own back yard, Lexington, Kentucky where the Lane Train pulled in for a visit to Mark Stoops and the bluegrass boys.

This one to me is a bit funnier because he thought (and it damn sure looked like) he was gonna out run the defense. But at the last second a Rebel/Black Bear/Shark/Freshwaterer comes from behind to hog tie him! To make things even worse for Kentucky, Ole Miss nipped the Cats 42-41 in OT, as the dark horse SEC East champs are now 0-2.

YOU MUST BE SOUND IN THE KICKING…RECEIVING GAME!!

We’ve heard it since we were little kids, to win ball games, you must be sound in the kicking game. That’s all fine and good, but no one ever told me you needed to be sound in the Receiving game too!

pic.twitter.com/4T5DT7ZU5s

— no context college football (@nocontextcfb) October 3, 2020

Wow….if that doesn’t bring up this image in your head, you are college footballing wrong my friend.

Ahh, what a simpler time, when Florida was garbage and one more puzzle piece was back in its rightful place.

TROLLIN, TROLLIN, TROLLIN! COM’ON!

Whether you want to admit it or not, Saturday was a huge day for upsets.

Texas lost, Oklahoma lost (AGAIN!), Pitt lost, Texas A&M had…whatever you want to call that…happen to them. And then there were two other losses that happened that we care about in this moment.

Tulsa, who we last saw having a very spirited pillow fight with Oklahoma State earlier this year, went up against the 11th ranked UCF Knights in Orlando. You have already surmised that yup, the Golden Hurricane drenched the Knights in the unenviable waters of a loss. However, it was the team’s twitter that kicked the last bit of dirt on the grave…

pic.twitter.com/TkYGR9uP2n

— Tulsa Football (@TulsaFootball) October 4, 2020

For context, UCF refers to Brighthouse Stadium as the ‘Bounce House’. Well played and a fantastic move Tulsa.

Also! So…Ok. Remember last week, when Moo State went and beat LSU like a drum and LSU continued to play man when it was OBVIOUS that they couldn’t keep up with the State receivers? Yeah? Well, Arkansas was watching too, and said, we ain’t doing that! AND DID THIS INSTEAD!

And that is their first SEC win in 2+ years folks! So congrats to the Hawgs and Sam Pittman. I mention the coach because HOT DAMN DID THEY MAKE SURE YOU KNEW WHO HE WAS!

ARRRGHKANSAS pic.twitter.com/ZXmm840bkX

— Arkansas Razorback Football (@RazorbackFB) October 4, 2020

BAM! THAT’S RIGHT! THEY WENT THERE! AND I LOVE EVERY SECOND OF IT!!!

What did I miss? Anything? Feel free to mention it below!

from College and Magnolia - All Posts https://www.collegeandmagnolia.com/2020/10/5/21501110/boom-roasted-week-whatever-its-week-2

#IFTTT #Blogger #auburn #auburn fast #wareagle #AuburnFamilyNews #war eagle #sec #football news #aubu

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zanybohbot · 4 years

Text

Fancy-Fancy’s RAGE! - Fancy-Fancy plays Life Is Hard w/ Top Cat

(Episode 1) Fancy-Fancy plays Life Is Hard w/ Top Cat

Published: 01-24-20 - Updated: 01-24-20

A Top Cat Fanfiction

Based on a video called: KSIOlajidebt Plays | Life Is Hard

Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=boCgCrXXabc

Rated R for Strong Language

Enjoy!

Fancy: ♬You know what it is. Black And White. Black And White. Black And White. Black And White. (claps) Yeah. Uh-huh. You know what it is. Uh. Uh. Uh.♬ (ends song) Song over. So today, we are playing some stupid-ass game called, Life Is Hard. With T.C. here.

T.C.: Yolo.

Fancy: According to this, he said it isn't as bad as the other platform games.

T.C.: Wait, when did I say that?

Fancy: Earlier. Remember?

T.C.: Well, I don't remember saying anything like that!

Fancy: (looks at him concernedly) Well, I hope you did!

T.C.: (looking nervous) Uhhh...yeah, I did. (blushes)

Fancy: Wait...why are ya lookin' like that? Never mind. (Turns back around) I played so many crappy games so I'm sure I'll understand this would be like as I just wasted $7 on this. So, if you press jump, you don't jump. If you go here, you don't go there and you will pick the wrong opposite because… (claps) ...that's how all these games roll. I've got it under my sleeve, I've got it all brand.

T.C.: Yes! We are so live. We do it live.

Fancy: So it's all done, easy. Let's go. Uh! (starts game) ♬No. No. No. No. No. No-no. No. No. No. No-no. No. This sucks so much ass. Uh! Let's go. Dun-nun-nun. Dun-nun-dun-dun. Dun-nun-nun. Duh-nun-nun. Dun-nun-dun.♬ (tries to jump up to get the coins but fails) Wait, what? (tries it again) ♬Dun-nun...♬ (again) ♬Dun-nun...♬ (again) ♬Dun-nun...♬ Okay, what's the point of that? How can you-how can you get those? (tries to collect the coins 3 more times but suddenly give up) Oh! Sorry I forgot! It's these kind of games! So, there's no point of them! You can't even count them! There's not even a counter which says how many coins you've collected! There's no point so why am I even trying to go for it? I can do this. I've got this sorted. But, Jesus Christ, this guy's a bit slippery when he moves. (Top Cat laughs) Flippin' heck. Why does he look like one of the guys from Minecraft?

T.C.: Does he? (looks closer)

Fancy: He looks like y'know the guy who keeps on digging. Like the guy...y'know, the main character just...any character from Minecraft! That's what he looks like. (Jumps on a huge mushroom) Wait, how come you can jump on that? (attempts to jump up to the coins again) Ahhh...you still can't jump to...aight. (keeps walking forward until he falls down the cliff then the game starts back to the beginning after it says "NO!" as it makes Fancy look even confused) What? Is that it? What the hell? It just gives you a no! Is that it? It just says "NO!"

T.C.: "No!" (laughs)

Fancy: It just says "NO!" and you start again! Aww, what the hell?!

T.C.: "No!"

Fancy: (laughs) "No! No! That's wrong! No! Do it again! No! No!" (jumps to the ground as the character glitched by 0.1 seconds which made Fancy jump a little)

T.C.: What?

Fancy: Did ya see a little bit of the glitchiness? So, I'm guessing that- (keeps walking forward until he falls down the cliff then the game starts back to the beginning after it says "NO!" again) Oh, for God- "No! No! No!" I think...Okay, so we're not meant to go over the cliff, okay, I think I've understood that. Okay, the cliff...the cliff- (laughs)

T.C.: "No!" (laughs)

Fancy: I can tell from the...from the "no"s! From the constant "no"s and the exclamation mark, I can definitely tell that...uhhh...you're not meant to do that. (looks down) Okay, let's put this down, frickin' pissin' me off. (looks back up to continue the game) Aight. (the character jump up to the last block and dies, a mushroom comes out of the block and falls onto the character, as it makes him bigger, then he falls down to his death as the cliff collapse.) What the hell? (the game ends with "LIFE IS HARD STARRING SCOTT MOORE") Life. Is. Hard. Star...what is...WAT!?

(awkward silence)

T.C.: Wait, carry on.

Fancy: (still looks dumbfounded) It...is this it? What's going on? What the hell? I died and then it said "Life Is Hard Starring Scott Moore". Why isn't it doing anything? (clicks the mouse 5 times) I'm dead, so what the hell?

T.C.: (helps Fancy check the game is still continuing) Yep, that's it.

Fancy: Is that it!?

T.C.: I think that's the message they're trying to portray, Life Is Hard. How disappointing.

(another awkward silence as Fancy still looks dumbfounded)

Fancy: (getting angry) Disappointing is not a word, nigga! Disappointing is not a word of this! What kind of f*cked up game is that!? Is that it!?

T.C.: Well, duh. It took you 7 minutes to do it.

Fancy: What the...no...way! Are you freakin'...are you freakin' serious, mate!? That...no! No! That is not it! That ain’t the end of the game! (presses every keyboard to check if the game is already over) That's it!?

T.C.: Yeah.

Fancy: No!

T.C.: Yeah.

Fancy: No!

T.C.: Yeah.

Fancy: (getting furious) NO!

T.C.: Yes!

Fancy: I AIN’T TAKIN’ IT! That's not...NO! I'VE BEEN ROBBED! I'VE BEEN ROBBED! I'VE BEEN ROBBED! NO! You can't end it that quickly! (fiddles with a keyboard in anger) What the hell? You-YOU CAN'T SAY STARRING SCOTT MOORE! IT'S NOT OVER! YOU BARELY EVEN STARTED YET! (looks back at Top Cat) That's not the end of it! (T.C. nods) That's...no! No, it's not! (T.C. nods again) Why are you...stop being a dick! (T.C. laughs) No! Tell me! Is that it!?

T.C.: Yeah!

Fancy: Wha...? WHAT A F*CKIN' WASTE OF TIME!

T.C.: Well, it is a good game, isn't it? It's teaching y'know kids that life is hard when they get older.

Fancy: (clicks the mouse in frustration) No. Piss off! Piss off, nigga! Nigga! Are you freakin' serious!? Is that it!?

T.C.: Yeah.

Fancy: Is that it!?

T.C.: Yeah.

Fancy: I'm so...I can't… (facepalms) I just...it doesn't make any sense! How can a game is never that… I just...what? So I completed the game!?

T.C.: Yeah.

Fancy: No!

T.C.: Yep! (claps) Do the hallelujah song!

(Fancy looks at him lividly and turns red)

T.C.: That's it, you completed the game!

Fancy: (punches Top Cat in the arm) F*ckin' trollin' me! (T.C. laughs) Son of a...I can't believe that! Wow! F*ckin' really!?

T.C.: Yeah!

Fancy: No!

T.C.: Yeah!

Fancy: No!

T.C.: Yeah!

Fancy: NO!

T.C. Yes!

Fancy: That's… (facepalms again & sighs)

T.C.: Wanna play another game?

Fancy: I know you said it was easy but, goddamn it, bruh! That's a bit of a bitch!

T.C.: Yeah and that's what I meant like easy...as in "short". Get it?

Fancy: That's...I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I feel molested! I literally feel molested right now! I feel like a grown man has taken my virginity away!

T.C.: Calm the f*ck down, man. You just played a game with your fingers.

Fancy: Yeah, but still! I feel-I feel violated! I don't understand! I can't-This can't be the end! (Fiddles with a mouse and a keyboard so aggressively) That's too quick, IT'S TOO EASY!

T.C.: Relax, Fancy! (laughs) Calm dafuq down, aight? It’s just a dumb game. Okay, let's play a different game if you wanna, how about dat? No?

Fancy: Are you frea… No, wait. We're restarting this. Restart. (restarts the game) No, I'm ain’t takin' that. I ain’t takin' that!

Fancy: Mate! I don't hella know what that is! What kind of house is that!? It looks like a penis! (T.C. laughs) What the hell, what kind of house is that!? Jesus. No. I'm not takin' that, I ain’t takin' that! That can't be the end! No. No. What the hell? (Attempts to get the coins the 3rd time but still fails again) You can't even...what's the point of that!? You can't even get the goddamn coins! You can't get any of the coins! Why!?

T.C.: That's the best they can portray, Life Is Hard.

Fancy: So, what do you do!? SO YOU CAN'T JUMP DOWN THERE AND WHEN YOU JUMP UP TO THE VERY LAST GODDAMN BLOCK, YOU DIE! (character jumps up to the block and dies gets a mushroom from the block) AND THEN YOU GET A MUSHROOM AND IT MAKES YOU GET BIGGER, BUT YOU FALL OFF A CLIFF! (character falls off the cliff and the game ends with the same name as before) AND THEN IT SAYS LIFE...IS...FFFFF*CKIN' HARD! (pants aggressively) NO!

T.C.: Starring Scott Moore! (laughs)

Fancy: NIGGA! Starring Scott… NO! (he jumps out of the chair as he was about to attack Top Cat but suddenly has an angry seizure) That doesn't...like what!? (calms down) What!?

T.C.: Yeah, that's it.

Fancy: No, I… (facepalms again) Are you serious!?

T.C.: Yeah. (he suddenly spins around on his chair) Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Fancy: Okay, let me ask the folks in the comment section if is that it. 'Coz I don't trust you, T.C. Is That It!? Lads, is that it!?

(Both Fancy and Top Cat read the comments)

T.C.: (claps) Yes! Thank you! It is!

Fancy: (looking shocked) So, I just wasted $7 for nothing?

T.C.: Mmm-hmm. Don't worry, Fancy. We can choose another game if you like. (continues to spin around)

(awkward silence)

Fancy: What!? What was the point of that!? That was like...Dude, not only did I just waste my time but I just wasted money for this! So, that's it, he just wanted to portray that stupid-ass message!? (he looks at Top Cat, still spinning around) WHY ARE YA SPINNIN' AROUND LIKE A DICK!? (Top Cat ignores him, and continued to spin. Fancy later tackles him with T.C.'s tail)

T.C.: OWWW! WHAT THE F-!

THE END

Hope you enjoyed this! Peace!

P.S. I hope Goku-Cooper would love this!

#hanna barbera #top cat #fancy-fancy

0 notes

rfsak2 · 6 years

Text

Cactus, Part VI

I hope you like this! If you are leave me a like so I know people are reading and enjoying this! Thanks so much guys!!

Cactus, Part VI Summary: They had expected this after all. Harry/Jamie Warnings: Not really

It wasn’t, strictly speaking, unusual to see paparazzi outside of a recording studio in LA. Usually Jamie could just skirt the crowd and make it to her Jeep without too much of a fuss. It was only really inconvenient when they blocked the parking lot.

So when Jamie saw the accumulating vultures, she sighed, said a prayer for the poor sap they were waiting for, slipped her sunglasses on against the hot LA sun and tried to plan the best way around them.

She pushed the door open and cheated to the left, making for the parking lot with unhurried, ultimately unworried steps.

After all they weren’t there for her.

“Hey!”

She kept walking. Maybe someone got wind of the newest teeny-bopper working in the studio. Sometimes said teeny-bopper’s media team was astute enough to start the buzz early.

“Hey!”

“Are you Jamie Schwartz?”

She almost stopped, but something in her told her to keep walking, to pretend like she hadn’t heard them.

A hand grabbed her arm and she spun with the jumpiness that living in LA ingrained in you. “What?”

“Are you Jamie Schwartz?”

That same intuitive voice, who was beginning to sound like Harry, told her to say ‘no,’ so she shrugged, feeling conspicuously nonchalant. “No.”

The pap didn’t seem too impressed with her and bought the lie with ease.

“Shit! Did she leave already?”

She shrugged again. “You sure she works at Columbia?”

The man shrugged helplessly.

Then she turned and left, forcing herself to be calm, to resist the urge to peel out of the parking lot like a mad woman. She stowed her guitar safely away in the back seat and calmly walked around the car.

She backed out, slowly and calmly, thanking the powers that be that she had never let her mom put a monogram sticker on her car. As she shifted into drive, she waved cheerily at the paps who were still waiting and left, driving to the restaurant where Harry and the tour band were going to be getting dinner before going to rehearsal.

She pulled in next to Harry’s Range Rover and peeked around her car as she was getting out, making sure that she hadn’t been followed.

Satisfied that her little cloak and dagger game had worked, she smiled and made her way into the restaurant.

She set her sunglasses on her head and smiled at the hostess. “Hey, I’m with a party-“

“Mr. Styles told us to expect you, Ms. Schwartz. This way, ma’am.”

She nodded and followed the girl through the restaurant to a private, back dining room where the whole band and the roadies were waiting on her.

“Sorry, I’m late.” She popped Mitch lightly on the back of the head and dropped a kiss on Harry’s hair.

“It’s fine, love. How was the studio? I went ahead and ordered for you.” Harry grinned and reached over to pull out her seat.

“Perfect.” She hung her purse on her seat and scooted the chair under the table, accepting Harry’s chaste kiss. “Studio was fine.” She smiled. “The girl’s got talent. Be interested to see how it turns out.”

Clara smiled and sipped at her water. “What are you working on?”

“Columbia wanted me to help write some guitar parts for a new talent’s demo. I delivered them today.” She smiled at the waiter when she set a cocktail in front of her. “Now I am free and clear for the tour!”

She waited until the food got there to lean over to Harry. “So… I had my first experience with the paparazzi today.”

Harry stiffened. “What?”

She smiled. “They were waiting for me outside of the studio, but I don’t think they really recognized me. One of them asked if I was Jamie Schwartz.”

“What did you say?”

She shrugged. “No.”

He grinned. “And they bought it?”

“Yep. I kept expecting one of them to follow me but the didn’t.” She laughed.

“Well done you.” He wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Just started and already trollin’ the media.”

She kissed his cheek.

She nodded at Mitch. “Kiwi is yours and Carolina. I’ve got Woman and Only Angel.”

Mitch nodded, scribbling some notes on a piece of paper. You wanna split the covers?”

“Yeah, that’s good. Do you have a preference?”

“I’ll take The Chain and Stockholm.”

She grinned. “We’ll have to fight over The Chain. That leaves me with That’s What Makes You Beautiful and Just a Little Bit of Your Heart.” She looked over a copy of the setlist and filled in names next to each song. “Sign of the Times? Should we just switch off? It’s the finale after all.”

Mitch smiled. “Whoever doesn’t do The Chain gets Sign of the Times.”

“Oh! Yeah that works. I’ll take Ever Since New York and Two Ghosts. Then, if you’re cool with it, take Sweet Creature and Meet Me in the Hallway and I’ll take From the Dining Table since you’ll probably end up doing Kiwi at least twice a night. Sound Good?” Mitch nodded and she scribbled it in, smiling as she felt Harry sidle up behind her. He set her mug in front of her, having been cleaned of the remnants of the three cups of tea she had drinking over the course of the rehearsal. “Hello, dear. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He chuckled and reached under her arm to turn the setlist so he could read it. “Your handwriting is ‘orrible.”

“You’re dismissed, Mr. Styles, thank you.”

He pressed a kiss to her shoulder, laughing. “I love that yeh decided to wait to like a day before the first show to decide this.”

Mitch grinned. “We waited to finalize it, but this is what we’ve been doing anyway.”

“Does it meet with your approval, boss man?”

He nodded. “If that’s what yeh two want, then that’s fine with me.”

“Then it is finalized. The instruments are packed, The equipment is stowed, the setlist is finalized, the wardrobe is packed…” She turned and slid her arms around Harry’s waist. “Seems like we’re ready to go.”

He grinned, reaching out to pull Mitch into the hug as well. “It’s happening! We’re goin’ on tour!”

He laid a smacking kiss on Mitch’s temple and leant down to kiss her. “Thank yeh both. This wouldn’t be happenin’ without yeh.”

She grinned up at him, arms tight around his waist. “Nah, it would, Haz, it would. It just wouldn’t sound as good.”

Mitch chuckled and high-fived her. “Jamie-Wamie for the win!”

Harry laughed. “Whatever the case may be, thank yeh. I love yeh both.”

They both hugged him, the three of them rocking each other gently back and forth.

“Shall we then?” She yawned, still leaning against Harry. “I need some sleep if you want me to wake up well at that ungodly time in the morning.” She put her papers in her purse and swung it over her shoulder.

Harry shook his head. “Love, I know yeh. There is no waking up well.” He pulled her against his side and together they started their way to the front of the practice venue.

“Ain’t that the truth. You’re like a living fairy tale, Jamie-Wamie.”

She frowned. “How so?”

“Evil, angry little monster in the morning and-”

“A beautiful, princess in the morning and the whole rest of the day!” Harry beamed.

Mitch made a face. “I wasn’t going to go that far. I was thinking ‘passably tolerable human being’.”

She mimicked his face. “Look here, Bitchy-Mitchy, you’re no peach either. They should make you into a bloody Snickers commercial.”

“Bite me, Jamie.”

“Children.” Harry made a placating gesture. “I’m gonna make you a get-along shirt.”

“Yes, Dad.” Mitch pushed the door open, with a grin, and waved. “Anyways, I’ll see you in the morning, lovebirds.”

“See ya.” She stuck her tongue out at Mitch and went to follow him out of the door.

Harry grinned, hand low on her back. “Did you want me to wake you up early enough that you have enough time to wake up? Or would you rather I just let you sleep on the plane?”

Hand on the door, she turned back to Harry. “I’ll have you know that I’m an ad-” She pushed open the door and gaped, letting it close again. “Harry?”

“Shit.” He paused and looked back, motioning for one of his security guards. “Love, yer stayin’ at mine tonight?”

She nodded and watched as yet more people rushed the doors, shouting for Harry.

Harry grabbed her hand gently and turned her toward him. “Would it be okay with yeh if I have one of my guys drive yer car to mine? Yeh can ride with me. I don’t want yeh driving through all this alone. Feel better if yer in me car wi’ me.”

She nodded. “Yeah, that’s probably for the best.” She dug her keys out and passed them to the closest guard. “Be careful with my baby.”

The security guard grinned and nodded. “Will do, ma’am.”

Harry kissed her hair. “We knew it was going to happen eventually.”

She reached up and pulled him down for a kiss she was sure they were photographing on the other side of the glass. “Yeah, we did.” She smiled. “It’ll be okay. We can handle this.”

He nodded and pushed open the door, his other hand squeezing hers. He glanced back at her. “I love yeh, monster.”

“I love you too, baby.” She threaded their fingers together. “Let’s do this shit.”

“Who is Jamie Schwartz?”

She paused and looked up at Harry who was frowning, eyebrows down over his eyes as he passed another shirt over to Lou.

“‘Scuse me, Lou.”

Lou nodded and followed Harry and Jamie as they made their way into the living area of their suite.

The tv had been set to the local news, now a grainy paparazzi picture of her, complete with sunglasses and a jacket she hadn’t worn for at least six months, dominated the screen.

“Back in July, at the London premiere of Dunkirk, Harry Styles, singer and former One Direction heartthrob, revealed that he had a girlfriend, rather cryptically referring to her simply as ‘My Girlfriend,’ despite repeated questions from the Press. Last week it was revealed that the mystery blonde woman seen at the premiere, was the same woman who’d been gracing the stage as one of the guitarists in the singer’s band. The question now is: Who is Jamie Schwartz, how’d she meet Hazza and how long have they been dating?”

The picture faded out and the camera panned over a small panel of entertainment news ‘correspondents’. A blonde woman smiled at the camera. “Here’s what we know: Jamie Schwartz is an twenty-two-year-old studio guitarist with Columbia records from San Antonio, Texas. Her work has been featured in the works of artists as varied as Daft Punk and Willie Nelson to John Legend and John Mayer. She is also the lead guitarist of a indie country-rock band called Spike and Devil and one of two harmonic guitarists in Styles’ tour band.”

Another ‘correspondent’ smiled. “That’s rather impressive.”

The original woman smiled and nodded. “I agree. She is rumoured to be rather well-known amongst the music industry in LA and Nashville and is apparently an in-demand talent.”

“This isn’t too bad…”

Harry sat and pulled Jamie into his lap. “Let’s wait til the end, love. These things have a tendency to get a bit out of control.”

“She is listed among the writers on Styles’ new self-titled album, apparently co-writing guitar parts with Mitchell Rowland. Since we know that most of the album was written in Jamaica, we can assume that the couple met there. We know that despite playing guitar at every one of Styles’ promotional performances in the Spring, no one seemed to put two and two together when she was photographed at dinner and kissing the singer in June.”

One of the panel members, a brunette woman, laughed. “Who dropped that ball, am I right? Like how do you miss that a curlyheaded, tattooed blonde woman seems to be everywhere that Harry Styles is especially when there are pictures of Harry effin’ Styles kissing a curlyheaded, tattooed blonde woman. Someone done messed up.”

Harry grinned against her shoulder. “I did always wonder how they didn’t figure that out.”

“They weren’t there to look at us, they were there to look at you.” She kissed his forehead. “That they didn’t notice me means I was doin’ my job and not distracting anyone from you.”

“We also know that she is going to be a media troll. Watch this video, taken last week in LA by paparazzi:

‘Are you Jamie Schwartz?’ ‘No.’ ‘Shit! Did she leave already?’ ‘You sure she works for Columbia?’

Harry laughed against her shoulder as the brunette on the show hit the table in front of her. “I don’t blame Harry for wanting to date this girl. I want to date her. That was the living embodiment of that ‘deal with it’ meme.”

“When confronted by the same paparazzi and asked why she lied, she apparently shrugged and said ‘Do you blame me?’ What we don’t know is how long the couple have been dating. They very easily could’ve started dating in Jamaica, which would mean that they are nearing their first anniversary, or at any time since. They were, of course, seen getting cozy in a Tex-Mex restaurant in LA in June, good on Haz for embracing his lady-love’s culture. Any thoughts?”

The man on the panel, the only who hadn’t spoken yet, decided to give his opinion, a vaguely sour look on his face. “I just don’t get it. He could have anyone he wanted. He’s dated models and probably had sex with some of the most attractive women on the planet and he’s dating edgy alt-Taylor Swift?”

The brunette frowned. “What are you? An idiot?”

Harry nodded. “Yes, he is.”

“Oh I’m sorry! Short, fat alt-Taylor.” The man shrugged. “She must be good in bed.”

“Why does anyone want to spend their time talking about this shit?” She turned to face Harry. “Who wakes up in the morning and says to themselves, ‘I think it’s a good day to opine on the lives of people I’ve never met and then sit and criticize them? I don’t understand.”

“I don’t even know.” He kissed her softly. “Don’t listen to it. Yer beautiful and I love yeh…” He tried for a grin, trying to cheer her up, make her smile. “Yeh are good in bed, I won’t argue with that but that’s not why I’m with yeh and I know yeh know that.”

She kissed his forehead. “I know, baby. I love you, too. I’m just a bit shocked, is all. I expected something like this but...fuck.” She leaned against him, her chin against his hair. “I hate that you had to go through all of this alone.”

“Alone, love?”

She nodded. “I have you, so this is unpleasant but I have you and I can handle it. I just can’t imagine.”

“Yeh are a fantastic human being.” Harry kissed her. “I am so in love with yeh. Truly. I’m sorry he’s a dickhead, love.”

“It’s not your fault. I want to find that man and punch him.”

“I want to help yeh.”

“So it begins,” she whispered to Mitch as she checked her connections and made sure her pedals were in easy reach.

Mitch chuckled, doing the same, and then grinned at her. “Nervous?”

She shrugged. “I don’t want anything to distract from this. I’m worried that all this shit about our relationship will.. will- I don’t want people to come here expecting some sort of relationship side-show. I want them to be here because they love Harry and they love his music. I don’t want to be a distraction or for it to seem like this relationship is some media plow on either of our parts.”

Mitch reached over and squeezed her shoulder. “No one who really knows either of you or has ever been in the same room with you two, can possibly think that. It doesn’t make sense. You two are some of the most genuine people I have ever met and anyone can see how much you love each other. It won’t be a distraction. There will be some fans who bring that stuff in here but he has an established fanbase and they were coming whether he was in a relationship or not. Just do good work and it’ll be fine.”

She nodded. “Thanks, Mitch. Love ya.”

“How many times have you said that exact same sentence to me?” Mitch shrugged. “‘Just do good work and it’ll be fine.’ ‘Don’t worry, Mitchy-moo, just do good work.’ ‘You can do it. Just do good work.’ I’m just reminding you of your own advice, Jamie-Wamie. Also love ya too.”

She smiled and got set, eyes on Harry’s back as he took his spot on the stage. This is really happening.

Harry turned and blew her a kiss and she caught it before returning it. “I’d say break a leg but you’d take it seriously and you’ve got eighty-something tour dates to keep.”

He laughed, hand over his mic. He mouthed ‘I love you’ and she mouthed it back.

He turned and counted off quietly. They started Ever Since New York and the lights lit him up against the screen and they could hear the crowd go wild. She smiled against the riot of emotion and pride and sheer love she had for the man at the microphone. The screen fell and the crowd exploded.

They performed the first few songs and then Harry took a break to chat with his fans. Her and Mitch shuffled around, changing guitars.

“What is #TeamHarmie?”

She ignored it, grabbing a hollow body electric for Sweet Creature while Mitch picked up his electric.

“Monster!”

She turned suddenly, staring at Harry confused, and leaned into her mic. “Yes, baby?”

The crowd aww’d and she blushed, having forgotten what exactly was happening.

Harry smiled, still at his mic. “What do yeh think Team Harmie is?”

She shrugged, adjusting her guitar on her shoulder. “Dunno. What is it?”

“Harmie is our couple name apparently.” He grinned. “And Team Harmie are the people who ship us, I think it’s called.”

She chuckled. “Okay. I dig it.”

He grinned. “I love that. I also want to put forward #TeamJarry, because of equality, and #TeamShoeObsession, because she’s as bad as me and don’t let her lie to yeh.”

Part V Part VII

#harry styles #harry styles/reader #harry styles/oc #harry styles fanfiction

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chelsanitys · 7 years

Text

anon post

for all 3 of my fans

i live for ur wit and sass

thx n same

Dont fuck with the best! Kate works hard to get the craziest anons to post in her yard, and I've got nothing but respect. There's no fan in the fandom as genuine and earnest as she is. Wishing her and her cats a long and healthy life!

lmao yall need to quit

you've probably answered this already but what do you think will give vm the best shot at the OG?

a good short dance + a good free dance + gui missing the catch-foot on his twizzle again

Are you taking the bar exam this summer?

no i just finished my first yr

I will cry if T&S end up together, They would be a horrible match. Surely I'm not the only one who sees this??

i am ashamed that this is the level of trollin i get. step up ur game!!

"i hope tessa marries semple so i can see all the shippers cry tbh" Poor Alex! Marrying him would probably restore his self confidence and prompt a return to the cfl! Still holding out hope!

honestly alex was the hottest of all her bfs. fedor is balding, has a dad bod n is wearing khakis on the beach now. and semple was always fug. also rl talk i didnt know canada had its own football league until this guy came around. thats so cute for canada

"i hope tessa marries semple so i can see all the shippers cry tbh" I want her with the Bitove guy. His family looks like the type that will post tons about them on sm afterward.

lmao yall know his grandfather started the toronto raptors?? i knew this brodie’s last name sounded familiar. also apparenty he and his fam golf at trump’s resort @ mar-a-lago VOM. tessa is 500% going to end up with a smarmy, filthy rich trust fund kid like him like its not even a question

Hey now. I want shippers to get overthemselves, too, but Tessa marrying Semple, god no. Basically, Tessa, open your eyes and save yourself.

lol i actually wish she was still dating him so all this mindless speculation rn would stop

Bitter and hateful is what I come here for. Anons should just fuck off and go to the Disney website if that's what they want.

vm fans are so damn soft n sensitive about everything lol, i rly wish some of yall would stop taking everything i say so seriously

Please come back, without your snark the fandom is controlled by the most delusional shippers.

i’ll post more when there r actually things 2 talk about. being around here when nothing is happening and ur all screaming into a vacuum about the same things over and over is like being institutionalized in a loony bin

why are you always up so late?

nhf for this east coast bias, it is a perfectly reasonable time in california

Which of the current/rising juniors do you see making tbe most impact next quad?

carreira/ponomarenko are going to win a olympic medal in 2022. even if the shibs, h/d and bock don’t retire, i see them easily rising through the pack - they just have the Look and aren’t without talent. i’m iffy on the rest - mcnamara/carpenter are too creepy and weird, parsons have no height difference and are siblings, both are coached by an unproven staff, everyone else are varying levels of mediocre. hawayek/baker will go to worlds 2018 if they’re lucky and prob never again if no one else retires.

i wouldn't take h/d's music choices as an indicator of what vm will have. they are the c team and vm are the a team in that camp. look at last season... h/d got stuck with marie-france's lame ass idea of the evolution of music and vm got prince.

true..... altho i think personal taste is important too. tessa would die b4 she ever approved an ‘evolution of dance’ sd

I want Tessa to steal Fedor back from Meryl. All that drama would be hilarious. Fedor lost his looks and is butt ugly now so he is exactly Tessa's type, even more so than in 2009.

i nvr thought he was that cute but he literally looks like he goes door to door selling pool cleaner now

I noticed that when Tessa shakes hands or kisses someone on the cheek (like during medal ceremony or interviews) Scott often puts a hand on her lower back even though there had not been any physical contact between the two of them before said handshake or kiss. It just always surprises me and I'm not sure I understand why he'd do this. What's your take on it ?

lmao ik u want me 2 say its bc his subconscious is screaming out in jealousy and he wants to covertly claim her and show the world she still belongs to him but i rly think they r just touchy ppl who like to touch. or hes makin sure she doesnt lose balance and fall off the podium as she’s leanin over

moulin rouge would've been a much cooler choice in 11/12 for their musical fd instead of funny face, but i don't see them doing it for their olympic fd. it's a bit tacky and overdone. i figure they'd want to do something that's a little bit more special and unique then that.

ia it wouldnt have been a bad filler fd for an off year. i just dont see it doing it for their Last Ever and for the olympics. its such a warhorse - what could they possibly say with it thats original? and its such a character piece - they r such overly emo, earnest ppl, i dont think they’d want to do something that different from themselves for their Last Ever.

huh what, vm don't stand a chance against moonlight sonata?? Pls... that would be a flop, such an overused piece of music everywhere, it's like Für Elise - hearing the first notes of it makes me vomit in my mouth a little

ya bc no one’s ever won a gold medal skating to a warhorse before

it sounds more believable to me than vm and moulin rouge tho

What interpretation? PC will just float around. They can do that in any key and judges will eat it up.

true, gui gui is a demon

No way. The judges will think they're watching Gordeeva/Grinkov again and just hand the gold to them immediately.

remember when pc said they didnt even know who torvill and dean and g/g were lmao

If scott doesn't cut his disgusting gutter frat boy hair I'm renouncing my Canadian citizenship and moving 2 Peru

was legit lookin @ pics from autumn classic n skate canada and i cant believe how short his hair was then, i can not believe i was complainin so much. i am honestly such a whiny bitch lmao this is my punishment

i have mixed feelings because Prince is the best short dance of VM's career so far but then Latch was one of the worst lol. It dragged in a lot of areas, especially the middle, and it never felt complete. I don't hate it by any means but considering we only had 2 free dances left and that was one of them... :| so I'm torn between trusting MF, and then thinking she's one misguided song choice away from ruining VM's swan song.

the thought of mf picking out the music for vm’s last ever fd makes me kind of sad. like yall have no ideas? at all?? ur relying on instagram suggestions and mf’s adult lite fm spotify playlists for inspiration? im surprised n disappointed tbh, like they arent kids anymore, i thought they would take more ownership of their careers.

but idk we’ll see. whenever i complain a lot, i usually like their material later lol

why do i feel like vm are gonna come out in their sd with despacito... the justin bieber version...

ok who is this person who keeps sending me despacito questions?? you sound like you want it to happen more than anyone else and are trying to will it into existence

It's funny because Tessa is SO cautious about everything she/they say, that she comes off/is rehearsed--I don't understand why she cares so much. They are not politicians or even super famous. Plus most people who watch (excluding Tumblr fans bc they're all extra) watch during high times like Worlds and Olympics. Most people don't watch interviews and press conferences. If they do watch one, it's usually only the fun "game" interviews or the mainstream ones like etalk which they are not tons of

idk what this is in reference to but ok lol. it prob matters to her bc its her life and she cares bc its happening to her? just spitballin here

Oh no what has Max Trankov said I'm scared to know now. If he's a Trump fan I might have to #nopeout lol he’s russian and a male chauvinist pig. he once said he wouldnt do a quad with tati until she had a baby for him...”and then maybe we try”

still gonna stan his trash ass to the end of time tho

Speaking of bad music cuts I could not stand the way HD's music was cut this year. Like I like all the songs they used individually but it just felt so weirdly put together like the songs didn't flow well into the next. The only part I liked was the last part with earned it.

really? i thought earned it was the part that seemed completely out of step with the first 2 pieces of music. the transition was way off and the tempo was so much faster than the other 2

The Facebook q&a is the first time I felt vm are actually compatible enough to be a couple.

should’ve published this steaming hot take when u sent it a month ago bc i have no idea what this is in reference to now

what do you look like?

tired mostly

haha funny how we went from vm are in a relationship to they hate each other.

dont ‘we’ me bitch i have nothing to do with this fandom’s daily emotional yo-yo-ing

Can you explain the Tessa/Kaitlyn Weaver friendship? Are they really friends? Kaitlyn seems like the kind of girl Tessa would make fun of behind her back.

more like kaitlyn weaver is tracy flick and is trying to bring down everyone in her path tbh

I get a bit of a superiority, cold vibe with Tessa, don't you?

no but i dont have self esteem issues

I think people who find Tessa cold and snobby do not get her at all. Yes, she is far from perfect and her feminism is all (...) but to call her cold and unfeeling means you haven't been paying attention at all. Like get off her dick and/or stop following her career.

i dont think shes cold either. standoffish maybe, but i dont feel like thats from superiority or aloofness. some ppl just want to mind their own business and chill?? not everyone’s a chatty cathy like scott

Music stresses me out. The only thing I've gathered from all of the various discussions is they should be exciting but not too exciting because it's an Olympic season. But they shouldn't also be too safe. Like I know you have mentioned various choices that would be good but what would be in your mind the ideal program, both SD and FD. It's their third Olympics, so how do they build on the past while still being fresh but also them. Or do they just not and give the audience what they want?

something original thats not a warhorse but is also audience friendly and is instantly musically palatable to a lot of ppl

so basically mahler

Which songs from moulin rouge should they use?

if they were doing mr (which i doubt), the orchestral score is 500x better than the cheesy ass nonsense from the soundtrack. like come what may with nicole kidman’s tremulous bird vocals and ewan mcgregor literally straining not to pop a vein would almost be too dramatic and Too Much. i think that kind of thing only works for a v specific kitschy, performative kind of team (a la russians) and wouldnt vibe with vm’s super earnest approach at all. but the orchestral score is genuinely moving and effective in a less garish way

but i dont think they’re doing moulin rouge lol

"the movies honestly made it hard 4 me to interpret hermione’s undying loyalty and devotion to harry as anything other than latent sexual attraction tbh lmao" Hahaha, pretty much. Plus, the whole Harry and Ginny thing, even more so in the movies, seemed to come out of nowhere and was cliche as fuck.

is bonnie wright still acting? i’ve seen dead fish more alive than her on screen

LMAO someone posted a clip from VM's show when they were having dinner with WP and they were talking about how WP live together and they ask VM how they deal with one another and LOL I stg I started loling cause their reactions were #priceless. S literally just had a WTF look on his face while he said something hella awkward & T looked like she wanted to slap him. Her follow up that she doesn't think they could ever spend all their time together just cements why they'll never date for me.

lmao that whole scene is so stupid. kaitlyn n andrew r such good friends i swear

Thanks for setting that anon straight. Set some boundaries so that they don't egg on shippers?? WTF. They're fine with doing what they're doing, and if they're dating others, those others are obviously fine with it too. Besides, it's not like they're filming porn or something. If you can't handle it, stop watching them.

idek what these r in reference to anymore but it sounds dumb as hell lmao

Wow I cannot believe that people actually think VM owe fans any explanation for their relationship/partnership. Like we don't know them, we're never going to know them or be friends with them? Why the fuck do they owe fans a detailed explanation of their personal business? I stg these shippers have lost their damn minds. As long as VM continue to put out good programs and do well I couldn't care less what they're doing off ice. Whatever it is it's clearly working for them. You do you VM.

the entitlement of some fans is insane. its STILL happening now with tessa’s ig now too. why dont yall just let her live n let her white-girl post to her hearts content. she is literally doing nothing differently to what every other skater does, idg this absurd criticism

Fr tho both of them have such nice teeth and I've never seen pics of them with braces, like how??!?!

tessa’s r so nice i cant believe she’s never had braces. and they r such a natural white? like u can tell w most skaters that they get it professionally whitened but hers dont have that artificial look at all

Are you in college? Your bio says 23 but it said that last year too.

i actually turned 24 a while ago im just 2 lazy to change it. im in law school currently

I just read an ancient interview with vm where they said Mahler was about getting married or something... WHAT

ya i cant remember if it was them that said or marina that said it tho. i remember a story about a guy who wrote them saying he and his gf were watching mahler at the olympics and once it was over, he was so moved he got down on one knee and proposed to her and marina was like ‘thats what that program is meant to do’ lol

Do you think Zach is a good skater and partner? I keep changing my mind on him.....

he is such a bland, wet noodle - no taste, no flavor, just empty white carbs. its up to madi to add any spark to the team bc she’s the real star, he just stands there and is tall and can lift her

Why the fuck are so many people freaking out because Tessa did not attend a wedding with Scott. 1. They are not dating so there are no reason for Scott to bring her. 2. She has people visiting 3. I bet they don't even hang out off ice 4. I think Scott has a secret girl in Ilderton. 5. TS not dating. I wish people would claim down.

this is so far back in my inbox i have no idea whats happening

I love it that whenever Tessa posts an IG story the fandom goes crazy analyzing and speculating about Scott what there even when he is clearly not Then there there are talks about TS wedding. WTF Soon it will be TS having babies. I am wondering if maybe the fandom (new fans) are mixing reality with those fanfics.

honestly no clue

I know this has been discussed before but I don't get how Scott and Jess even communicated. Jess could barely seem to understand English back then and Scott couldn't speak French. I wonder if them not being able to speak to each other is part of why they lasted so long actually

lol bryce davison actually learned french so he could communicate w/ her. not scott tho lol

I don't think T cares too much about fs friendships the way other skaters do. Of course she's friendly with a lot of them but she's not really close with anyone except her partner, which doesn't really count lol. She has her own friend group outside of skating and that's what she seems to stick to. It's funny you mention Meryl, Brooke, Tanith, and Lauren because they're all still really good friends.

honestly i think skating stressed (stresses?) her out so much back then that she really hated being in that world for too long. i dont blame her for wanting to disconnect and not having to hang out with skaters who just talk about other skaters and skating 24/7

I don't mean this in a mean way. Watching Avatar. If you paint Meryl's face blue she could be in the movie

it kills me when ppl say she looks like a disney princess? ya the ant queen from a bugs life maybe

I think Tessa sometimes forget that Scott is a huge part of why they are successful and she wouldn't have all of these deals w amazing brands if they weren't so strong+didn't win everything. it's easy to put her on the pedestal bc she's gorg and can dance, but he should get/deserves just as much credit-- i mean he is the one lifting her and she could not do any of this by herself. sometimes i get the vibe that she thinks she's too good for him. maybe he's not as fancy, but he has a heart of gold

i’ve literally never gotten that she thinks she’s too good for him...? they go out of their way to pay each other compliments all the time and dont even jokingly diss on each other. its actually kind of weird that after knowing each other so long their relationship isnt just one long roast section where they talk shit about each other bc thats what my relationship w/ all my lifelong friends r like....but then again im a flinty bitch and they’re super earnest and emo like all the time. like i bet they both cry during sex

i find it kinda gross, disturbing and a bit pathetic that so many people feel the need to write erotic fan fiction about Tessa and Scott--like they are real people not characters, and it's kinda creepy that people spend so much time writing and reading them. Also, i would pay a million dollars to have someone show TS what people write about them--they would literally die and so would i--some fans are kinda extreme crazy

u know how on graham norton when he’s always showing celebs really erotic fanfic and fanart of themselves and they’re just dying of embarrassment?? i would literally pay everything in my bank account (so like....twenty dollars) for someone to do that to vm

omg it's gonna be so awk when tessa and scott have to see klawes...poor klawes, she just could not hold a candle to tessa. still don't know why klawes still follows tessa's insta--like i would unfollow and would not wanna see some of the pics t posts of TS giving each other lovey looks/touchy regardless of whether ts are together or not. also, it's never like t and klawes would actually be friends bc they're polar opposites

v disappointed that the olympic summit did not deliver on this #drama

tessa and kl were real friends tho, i think its sweet. and its nice they still keep in touch even tho scott is a dog

Are you a fan of tessa's style? She wears so much expensive yet ugly shit in my opinion.

lmao no. i think some of her casual wear is cute, but she wears some of the most hideous high fashion shit ever when she’s going out. like that blue carpet jumpsuit? yall know wht im talking about. those hideous trousers??? also she wears an unbelievable amount of boring black dresses

also gf needs to do smth with her hair. tired of her high bun and slick pony. she looks way cuter w/ her hair down imo

Do you think Tessa pays for all the Adidas stuff she wears?

no she def gets it for free. i was a walk-on my freshman yr of college for half a second and even i got a bunch of free shit from nike

How do u as an ed sheeran unstanner feel about ts doing these songs their obviously using him for the sd next season and i wouldnt be suprised if they use him for the fd as well

reading this made my cholesterol go up

really hope they're exhausting all the ed sheeran options now so they won't actually use it for comps lol

ngl i do kind of dig that embarrassing white boy rapping galway girl song but that cld prob just be my girl saorise ronan hypnotizing me like she always does

Minus the horrific man bun, do you think Scott's hot? Also, do you think Tessa finds him attractive?

no and probably yes now that hes so fug

Do you think Scott's attractive?? Also, do you think Tessa being told she's beautiful constantly on sm has made her get a big head--she often comes across as a bit cold and stuck up prancing around in her $1000 + outfits? Love her and she's gorgeous but...

some of yall need to stop projecting your shit onto tessa for real

Power plays of the figure skating journalists. Inside Skating does a very literal interview and article with P/C which blows up and then they go to Jackie Wong so he can basically write up a damage control press release. Kind of fascinating to see both journalists doing their thing with the same content. Hard to believe Inside Skating didn't think their article would create a storm. Interesting.

speaking of jackie, skaters r really going to him for their exclusives now huh? dying that ashley gave him her big la la land fluff piece instead of tsl. pays 2 be nice and kiss ass

Doesn't look like KH/JLB will have much of a chance to advance cuzis so crowded with the current seniors not retiring and juniors moving up. KH/JLB needs to work on their twizzles, thier lines, skating skills, chemistry looks promising. Some of those junior and senior teams should consider representingif they want a chance at aCanada doesn't have any promising teams once VM-WP retire. I feel like CB, SS, HD ain't retiring till they win Wch or OG which may never with PC around.

hawayek/baker could prob skate for gb because jean-luc has citizenship and carreira/ponomarenko could prob skate for canada bc she’s from montreal but i doubt the us fed is letting either of them go. they’ve invested way too much at this point. i don’t think c/p need to move tho, i think they’re talented to rise organically through the ranks. i think they’re more likely to be us #1 instead of not tbh

I don't understand the whole David and Tessa affair; like some people say it happened after he was separated and others talk like it was a full blown affair. The only thing I do know is that her being called a "homewrecker" or anything else of that nature makes me want to punch something because it's disgusting, and it's society go-to response. Be cruel to the woman and basically give the man a free pass. But maybe he received shit, too? I just never heard about it.

i think he was basically separated but not divorced when it happened

Do you think if TS and Cappelini and Lanotte switched partners they would be a good team?

lol no. anna’s not a great skater and luca looks like he’s shorter than tessa

Wait is that Tessa's ex Semple in that photo you posted of her pre and post nose job? Cause if so damn does she lowball herself. Like she could have such better looking guys I do not understand. Girl is very pretty she needs someone to help her pick better guys.

~we accept the love we think we deserve~~

I think T is cringeworthy as a speaker bc she's sooo gd rehearsed. Not a things she says comes across like she didn't practice it in the bathroom mirror 75 times that morning. She would be pretty good if she could lose even half the pretension in her delivery and tossed out the eye rolly words she keeps littering the sentences with like privilege and journey.

they honestly both suck. she’s worse than he is, but they’re both super stiff. and they always do this forced banter bit at the start which just seems so awkward lol

That one anon pointing that some have denied the nose surgery - this is exactly what annoys me about those shipper blogs, not that they are shippers (you can want them two to be together- that by itself doesn't bother me), but their ways and how they always have to insist on vm's perfect image - they all get so upset and aggressive when you point some issue out, like why would you deny Tessa has done a nose job... so out of touch! vm are interesting exactly cause they're real people with flaws

i can not believe ppl r denying her nose job. like yo its right there. it does lend credence to my theory that all shipprs r just hallucinating n seeing things that arent there tho

If Tessa and Scott did hook up while officially with SOs I have a feeling they wouldn't consider it cheating.

ok lmao??? im sure something extremely profound i said provoked this

how rich do u think scott and tessa are???

prob millionaires by the time 2018 comes around if they get their sponsorships

i might do part 2 later if i can be bothered... but nothing really makes sense out of context lol, its like watching charlie kaufman do slam poetry

#Anonymous #vm #fs

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seattlish · 7 years

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They see Mike trollin’, they hatiiiiiiiin’.

Well well well. Mike McGinn, former Mayor of Seattle and Guy Who Was Right About The Tunnel, gave everyone a heart attack this morning with his announcement that he’d be running for Mayor again.

McGinn’s legacy is a bit murky; faced with a hostile Council made of largely of crispy white folks and a weird economic time for the City (because like 2009 was kiiiiiind of rough around here), lots of casual observers blamed many of the City’s troubles on him.

However, he also gave us prepaid parking to reduce drunk driving, a library levy that extended service, and a healthy revenue stream for infrastructure, arts, and neighborhoods. He capped towing fees (which were previously outrageously unregulated), opened the Office of Immigrant & Refugee Affairs, is responsible for both the Rainier Beach Community Center and 12th Ave. Arts, and he invested oodles of cash in school road safety improvements.

Plus, he fought hard for later bar close hours, municipal internet, and to extend the Broadway/First Hill street car.

So yeah, he did get quite a bit of stuff done. And people liked him a lot. And he might have been able to do a lot more with more allies on the Council than just Mike O’Brien.

However, his first race against Murray was difficult; Murray made a lot of promises to powerful communities (like the nightlife crew) to sway votes, and collected big revenue from Comcast to fund his campaign.

Now that Murray is looking less bulletproof, McGinn is back in the race. We’re not sure if that means he’s just trying to open the door for someone else or if he really, really wants the job again, but it’ll be interesting to see what kind of a tone he takes. His campaign slogan is...not ideal...

Image: McGinn’s slogan, “Keep Seattle,” which feels...a little icky

...But there’s room to grow. We’re going to try to make it up to the press conference today to see what we can find out. The race is certainly more interesting now!

#seattle #seaelex

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abnormal-angel · 7 years

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If they're not together do you have a theory or your PR friend know why normans letting this go on he must know what she's doing,why would he put himself in the situation of being seen with her after the denial the backlash from Barcelona was bad enough now pda in NY he must no how bad that video made him look it was totally out of character for him. He lets her troll his fans on IG the skull photo was taken in his apartment. jmo I can't see him putting up with this if he wasn't seeing her

Honestly even id he was seeing her I don’t think he would put up with it. Honestly we have to remember this JUST happened. I honestly think he was just drunk and got taken advantage of a little bit in the eye of the papps. I dont know if he has seen her IG stuff. I know someone said Norman did not like the skull photo at all though. So either 1. He is angry about it or 2. He doesnt know? Norman seems like a pretty non confrontational guy I think it would be hard for him to say ya know back off alittle? Seems to me she is trying really hard to be in his life when he is more just like meh. I wish I had an answer anon but I do think that if they were official in any capacity that he would post something to his fans. This happened what wed or thursday? And then the very next day he had jimmy plus probably getting bitched at by his pr for that video. I think he is just kind of in regroup mode rn and trying to figure out what to do next. I don’t follow her on IG but I have not seen that she has posted anything else like the skull thing but I do hear she is trolling the fans here and there. Honestly, until I hear differently is that she is just a celeb fangirl who is trying really hard to get on him 😂😂😂 trying everything. She is used to getting her way with men but Norman is Norman… Honey he’s got beautiful women throwing themselves at him all the time, gotta bring more to the table then that. But yeah this is what I think. Be kind to Norman I feel like it was taking advantage a little, he looked really wasted way more than her. Stay classy and keep trollin the fans DK 😂😂😂Honestly this all just shows her true colors even more. Norman I think is just trying to forget about the whole thing and move on. I do not think he would be radio silent if they were officially together now. That is not him. Thanks anon!

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newfreakintown-blog · 7 years

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Rosalind Robertson (the DIY Couturier) Lots of fashion, too many cats, some mental health and occasionally politics. I've got a rare genetic disease (EDS - Ehlers Danlos Syndrome) that makes me a medical hot mess of severe pain and joint instability. I spend my sick-time DIYing accessories... ABOUT ASK ME ANYTHING ARCHIVE 21 Tips to Keep Your Shit Together When You’re Depressed. A while ago, I penned a fairly angry response to something circulating on the internet – the 21 Habits of Happy People. It pissed me off beyond belief, that there was an inference that if you weren’t Happy, you simply weren’t doing the right things. I’ve had depression for as long as I can remember. It’s manifested in different ways. I did therapy. I did prozac. I did more therapy. My baseline is melancholic. I’d just made peace with it when I moved, unintentionally, to a place that had markedly less sunshine in the winter. I got seasonal depression. I got that under control. Then I got really, really sick. Turns out it’s a permanent, painful genetic disorder. My last pain-free day was four years ago. So, this Cult of Happy article just set me off. Just… anger. Rage. Depression is serious – debilitating, often dangerous, and it’s got an enormous stigma. It leaves people to fend for themselves. It’s bad enough without people ramming Happy Tips at you through facebook. There is no miracle behaviour change that will flip that switch for you. I know, I’ve tried. A friend of mine suggested that I write something from my point of view because, surprisingly, I manage to give an outwards impression of having my shit together. I was shocked to hear this. And I find this comical, but I see her point. I’m functioning. I’ve adapted. I’m surprisingly okay. I think the medical term is “resilient”. So, here it is. My 21 Tips on Keeping Your Shit Together During Depression 1) Know that you’re not alone. Know that we are a silent legion, who, every day face the solipsism and judgement of Happy People Who Think We Just Aren’t Trying. There are people who are depressed, people who have been depressed, and people who just haven’t been hit with it yet. 2) Understand that the Happy People are usually acting out of some genuine (albeit misguided) concern for you, that it’s coming from a good place, even if the advice feels like you’re being blamed for your disease. Telling you these things makes them feel better, even if it makes you feel like shit. (If they insist on keeping it up, see #12.) 3) Enlist the help of a professional. See your doctor. You need to talk about the ugly shit, and there are people paid to listen and help you find your way to the light at the end of the tunnel. 4) Understand that antidepressants will only do so much. They’re useful, they’ll level you out and give you the time you need to figure out your own path to getting well. They can be helpful. There are lots to choose from. They may not be for you, and even if they are, they take some time to kick in. Conversely, they may not be for you. Work with your doctor. 5) Pick up a paintbrush, a pencil, an activity you got joy from in the past and re-explore that. Or, sign up for the thing you always wanted to try. There is a long history and link between depression and creativity. It’s a bright light of this condition, so utilize it to your best advantage. 6) Eat nutritionally sound, regular small meals. If you’re having trouble eating, try to focus on what you’d like to eat. I went through a whole six week episode of tomatoes and cream cheese on a bagel twice a day. Not great, but it was something – helpful context, I’m a recovered anorexic. Conversely, if all you want to do is scarf down crap, try to off-ramp it by downing a V-8 and doing #9 for 15 minutes, and see how you feel. Chucking your blood sugar all over hell’s half acre is going to make you feel worse. 7) While you’re doing #3, get some bloodwork done. If you’re low on iron or vitamin D, or if your hormone levels are doing the Macarena… these can all contribute to zapping your energy or switching your mood to Bleak As Hell. 8) If you’re in bed and the “insomnia hamsters”, as I like to call them, are on the wheel of your head, watch Nightly Business News on PBS. This has the effect of Nyquil. Swap out your coffee for herbal tea. If you just cannot sleep, try the next tip…. 9) Learn how to meditate. Start by focusing on your breathing. Not sleep, not thoughts. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Meditation is focusing on being present in your body, not careening around in your brain. It may not be as good as sleep but it will give you some rest and recharge you. 10) Face a window as often as you can – at work, at home. Look out into the world. Watch. Observe. Try to find something you find pretty or interesting to focus on. And, handily remember that one in five of those people out there feel the way you do. 11) Cry. Better out than in. Sometimes it’s not convenient or career-enhancing to cry, so find a private place as best you can and let the tears go. Carry Kleenex and face wipes and extra concealer if you wear makeup. You can always claim allergies. 12) Any “friend” who resolutely believes that your depression is because you’re lazy, because you’re not trying hard enough, who blames you for not bootstrapping out of it- that friend needs to be cut off. Polite (#2) is one thing, but there is a limit. You don’t have to explain, you can just not respond. You feel badly enough, you don’t need their “assistance”. 13) Limit your time with people who drain you. You know who they are. Often you don’t have a choice- but you can put the meter on. And, subsequently, be aware of what you’re asking of those close to you. 14) Everyone has shit they’ve got to deal with. What you have been saddled with is your shit. Recognize, just as you’re not alone, you’re also not unique. The grass may look greener, you may be jealous or envious of others who don’t have to deal with depression, but you likely do not know everything that’s going on with them. 15) Let go or be dragged. This is an old Buddhist saying. It’s a very useful way to frame aspects of depression. Betrayal, anger, fear… letting go is a process – often a painful and difficult process - but it’s ultimately going to show you the path out of this terrible place. Repeating the mantra can help when you’re feeling gripped by these feelings. 16) Wear clothes that make you feel confident. It takes as much time to put on nice clothes as it does to put on sweatpants. You will want to wear the sweatpants. Fight the urge. The whole “look good/feel better” campaign isn’t limited to cancer and chemotherapy. Or women. 17) Avoid fictional drama and tragedy like the plague. No Grey’s Anatomy, no to The Notebook, or anything that won a Pulitzer prize. You’ve got enough going on In Real Life. Comedy only. Or trashy stuff. Old episodes of WonderWoman? I’ve got the box set. Mindless drivel, like the latest CGI blockbuster. Or clever, funny books. David Sedaris. Jenny Lawson. Fiction exists to elicit emotion, and the emotion you need to express most right now is laughter. 18) Simple exercise, if you can. It can be something as simple as taking the stairs up a flight, or walking around the block. It doesn’t have to be elaborate, it doesn’t have to involve climbing a mountain or running a marathon. Baby steps. 19) Depression will lie to you. Depression will try to tell you what others are thinking. That you are unloved and unworthy, that others think little of you or don’t care – or even wish you harm. You are not a psychic. Keep repeating that. “I am not a psychic”. Repeat. The only way to know what another person is thinking is to up and ask them. 20) If you are well and truly losing this battle, reach out to someone. I’ve been the random friendly-but-not-close person who has fielded the occasional outreach. I like to think I’m not judgemental and generally resourceful, and others have thought the same, so they called and asked. You know someone like me. And they will help you. 21) Forgive yourself. I’m writing out all these tips, and I can’t always muster the strength to even stick my nose outside, or walk up the stairs, or eat my vegetables. Today, I got outside for ten minutes. I will try again tomorrow. And I will try again the day after that. This list will not cure you. This list will not flip on the happy switch. God, I wish it were that easy. The theme here is to not to unknowingly sabotage yourself. All these little things? Like your blood sugar, or watching nonstop episodes of House, or endless Try Harder lectures from your Perpetually Perky sister? They all make dealing with depression just a tiny bit harder than it needs to be. And it’s hard enough, all on its own. (New: Downloadable, printable, nonsweary version of the 21 tips here.) UPDATE: Wow, guys. Thank you. The feedback has been wonderful - all I wanted to set out to do was something helpful. For those of you who want to see the original rant, Here it is.. www.diycouturier.com/post/41923259437/to-the-person-who-wrote-21-habits-… And here’s the response to my response (?) - basically, after posting my retort, the happy people came at me with torches all over the interwebs. www.diycouturier.com/post/42465364887/trollin-trollin-trollin#_=_ Also, a few people have mentioned that having a critter is a great thing to keep you on track, that taking care of something and having something rely on you keeps you going. I went back and forth on including that, but for some, it’s just not feasible to have a cat or a dog… but my cat is my Prozac. And, I wrote this in Canada, where we have universal health care. It breaks my heart that people don’t have access to professional support. You can sometimes find a community health centre, or sometimes your work benefits will have an employee support or assistance plan as part of your insurance. If you’re without benefits and hitting desperation, phone someone. Friend, family - even your local distress centre. Stay well, my melancholic interweb friends…xoRR ANOTHER UPDATE six weeks or so later… This - um, wow. I dropped off for a while - stuff, life, illness management boring blah blah - and this sucker is *still* flying around. I googled this, and it’s all over hell’s half acre, which is amazing, and I still can’t quite believe it… I’m STILL getting lovely emails and messages - thank you so much. I’m just awed by your response. On the Funny Note - a lot of people reposting this seem to think I’m male, which is wildly entertaining… because I work in sex and gender health policy issues… but I don’t really care how you gender me, so long as we’re talking. Nov 15 2013 - Update again. THANK YOU. NOTE: This work is under a creative common copyright. Feel free to discuss, but someone recently blogged her own “words” to each point without crediting me. I’ve put them out there under this type of copyright so they can be shared because I want to help, but please, don’t alter my work.

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failinginvestigativejournalist · 7 years

Text

Dont freak out, itss just writing

i grew up fast (so fast) (too quick nigga) (wish i went through when i was just a bit bigger) can you tell me who the parent is uh ya the first time i drove a whip i was a fuckin kid, (96 suburban nigga) (yo yo, did you tell em why) oh ya shit my fault my mom was bleeding from her chin i dont know what from or what about, scared to death i took that drive to the ER (Medical SHIIIT) (mom got too drunk again and feel out) (wheres dad? in his room his doors locked, figures i dont expect, as i try to knock (no answer nigga) i dont blame em he removes himself from the sitiation so he dont hit her) ya i fucking grew quick, ya i fucking tryed some shit, the first time i dropped out and took some shroomies i was age 6 plus 6, thats 12 for the illiterates, actually aas a matter a fact it was fuckin pleasant as fuck as i drew back the droe and took another hit. now that i think that was the day, older brother came and gave me cig i obliged no way to say nay, i was still trippin and it was a sensational feelin, it left me stumblin and dizzy a head rush like no other i was hooked for live to the day and i dont blame him, i dont think he knew what he had started, adding to the compilation of the monsxter inside that took refuge and started, poison in his mind, the drugs altered his brain activity but he was buckled up and commited to the ride.Shit i just said in third person let me apologize to yall sometimes the ideas flow together like two fortune five mergin, these feels of hate be strong ya im hurtin, i cant blame no one, i cant choose the family i was birthed in, started sniffin ups felt my blood surgin, gotta big head but my nemisis, the evil inside myself was bigger aboutt the size of a white sturgeon, like some northern ish that canadain shit like british columbia or somethin idk, alls i can say is that BC bud out that bitch is my fav to blow, the sour D, diesel to be exact for you niggas who waana try to nit pick or correct my personal facts, let me just speak at you, all the hatin niggas tryin bring me down, bad news, i do drugs like steve from fuckin blues clues, but my rents always on time when that xshits due, any ways i side tracked speaking of tracks just lined some shit up did with speed did with need i did it with tact, im dextrous and shit i always have a unique train of thought oh shit trains again trains derailed at this point hhaaha i crack myself up sometimes with the wit in my words leh-let you in on the pun so you can join in my fun, about the lines the lines are no more you didn arrive in time i promise these raps have rhythm they have rhyme i aint spittin to waste your time, i aint spittin to catch a dime, bag or bitch, it really dont matter, niether last long but they are still my niche, come here bitch come hit this shit, this time dont have a fit, mind over matter just stick yuh nose in these rails sit down for a bit, drink some wata, go to your happy place we are gettin to old for me to have tote on yuh just from hitten lines but i put up wit it, you got that 50 thou boat on yuh, not to mention your ride, that shit is so sweet i cant decidddee which id rather seed, as in inseminate with my seaman as i play the part as a seaman workin for seimans on a marine voyage i aint like you im a higher being, i dont know whatchu talkin whatch your eyes be seein i am a divine heathan i really cant fucking believe a niggas still breathin im a florida boy born and raised, i sit the fuck back drink my beer in the shade, high as i usually am a rinny tin tin rinscotts tale \down the rintin like a shark fin poatched by commercial fisherman thrown in a bin, no regard for life the human race is so greedy, people just aint my type, say what you want i know me best and i know im right. my creative talents on the other hand be outta sight, im my own worst enemy to cross the bridge pay the fee, trollin in the hood for that g, withdrawin, shakin i drop to my knee look up to the sky ask god if he sees. hear the sound of humming, huh must be bees, or im trippin out maybe its a flash back i dont remmember. whats th-this street, tremblin think my heat skipped a bit, or a couple shakinso bad my knes begin to buckle, anxiety can be dibilatated held me back from so much in life thers no debating. unfamiliar route. made it to this bar ordered a stout got to thinking, you may ask what about, this is why i like solitude to be on my own to answer to noone to depend on myself and live it to the fullest while im yung, my mind will reel, replaying all i know every single memory, that im capable of bringing back, i compare my brain to a file cabinet, i keep it hidden like in an office towards the back. A photographic memory is a gift and a curse, ill tell you whatat, if you dont keep it in check you will end up in a herse, sure you can remember the happy shit the good things in your life but you cant fucking forget the huge hits the fucking bad bitch the one who broke your heart? dounno how to forget you but i think i know where to start, i thought it was drugs, i numbed my body with chemicals little did i know with every shot the metaphorical shovel scooped out some more dirt from the inconcievable whole i fuckin dug. my life has been weird kinda like an opriental from a flee market an awkward rug, with no real spot in the house, was always the black sheep in the fam i tryed to tip toe as quiet as a mouse, some tom and jerry shit my mistakes and regrets cbhasing me around like tom the cat from that shit, I hide in my hidey whole, disconeected from any social environmeent i often found myself cryin, but self loathin is kinda like being a a gay with some dicks hes blowin, givin a ski job pitty is the lube hatred is the tube the vessel to carry out a deed the fags not sure about, hes experimentin comparable to some situations in my life cept wont catch me with two dudes in a shower, that was just a metaphor. you feel me? im sure the haters will hop all over that verse but just fuckinh hear me. I got my shades on and these bitches special, haters they block, they keep you no fun, sticklers out of sight out of mind like spf 75 sun block, that industrial shit, factory born hear the lunch bell on the horn, an hour passes the busy bees come back to the floor to join the others to join the masses; the hoard., here the hum of the worker bees at work as they sneek rum in there flasks stuck it in to the hive got it past the queen time to catch a buzz to make this pain stop while i avoid the fuzz the narks at work, cant control it even if they wanted to stop. i dont want to hurt. this was a metaphor for the endless rut of a reality ive become accustomed to; succomed too, the low of the low. comparable to a german trench on the frontlines., my life feels like a conveyer belt, makin the same product running the same direction never really goiong any where, now thats was an analagy, keeping up? yung unsensitive how many? 0 fucks, 0 fucks giveen, 0 blights forgiven, spiteful to death and mornful for noone, nothing left inside just another no-go, malfunctioning product family be like feeling “ i feel like they robbed us” of our brother our son and our friend , dont worry fam im still with you in your hearts up to the end. im tired of our society with all its malice and fallacy, thinking to my self how sad it must be, to be washed in the brain to be hypnotized, this shits so insane.you want that shit super sized? of course nigga watchu you sayin. A glutonous society obsessed with self indulgence people actually still believe good people are in abundance. Speaking of which, fuck the people for a tec, have you looked around lately, this earth is a wreck, mark my words we headin straight for destruction, We are not being good care takers, we fuckckin actin so careless what doesdo the opeople in power really expect?? just pass it on to the next generation “ohh, its not our life time we will leave it for you” Thats a big fuck you to the generations after you undeserving self entitled fucks finallyy croak. get the fuck outa here, tell me when you sold your sold, you heartlesxs bastards would give anything for xsome more of that paper thgat rules all, the pressure you have put on everyone, no one is an exception, to support ourselves and loved ones to provide for our own and multiple other peoples nees, the urge to make money looms over our heads like a pestiliant storm cloud of angst and uncertainty, boreing a fucking whole in our moral, making peoplpe desperaate rising crime rates because people get desperate, people need to survive and they will do dam near whatever it takess to make the money they need, for whatever purpose. ill whipe my ass with it throw in your cards i will win you better fold. i have freeedom, you ask what? anominity you fuckers, i can moldd my own life i have the freedomm of choosing, i certainly dont have to wait for legislation to pass a bill which you bribed for votes to do so anyways, to do something something much worse than im capabloe of ever doing, intentionally ruining the environment and turning our planet to mars just for paper with and idea (with a “hey, take our word for it, its worth something “””WE PROMISE”””” fucks) behind it not even gold bars, fuck you niggas mark my words illl bring all you mother fuckers down, ill run you fucks out of town, you hear that sound? its a train. its my passion and my determination to take you out, maybe ill use a fuckin plane? i mean its o.k. for the CIA to do it, right? Create this ridiculously elaborote ruse this plot, thyat fucking fooled all the ignorant and brainwashed americans you have already sucked in with your cancerous propaganda, kids lost to your bullshit through social media and the fucking criteria you make teachers teach young minds, we are taught from a very young age that “ huraaahh america is number one! Terrorists bad! Environmental destruction of a planet good!” how about we help some of the third woorld countries (which you know we wouldnt have to be gunning down women and children in the streets) we could just like give them the water they need? help them gentrify there communities teach them how to develop better skills, teach them more efficient ways to take advantage of their land, maybe bring some seeds to food sources that can be grown creating a bit of self sustainability that may not be indigenous but would grow in their country?? you greedy fucks just want oil, when we have enough in our reserves in alaska/canada to last north america 500 years falsey blame others, create an imaginary war “the war on terrorism, which infact is a fucking cover a false entity, to entice patriotism to loosely keep this crumbling empire together the last attempt, the only thread left in the button holding up the pants we call america, you forgot to tell the word all that shit is just whack [ simply a meticulously pplanned and executed ploy to spur interests in the middle east, control the oil and power will return back east, return to u, Cause god knows you tax the fuck out of us for EVERYTHING especially mnother fucking gas, so we can pay for wellfare and pay for fucking solar power for rich fucks who e==inherited wealth, people who hdont know what working a day means and never will be, never had a problem, never been broke “oh shit my fucking croket set is missingg a ball” lose the pretense fuckers, you cocksuckers, arrogant low lives.. Money makes you any better then the hard working man that cover your tax breaks pay like our fucking ppolice forces (who are a bunch of ROTC drop outs with a badge and sense of power nnow being unfair and crooked taking some kind of revenge on the idea of the kids who picked on them all through out school” Motherfucker its harder to become a plumber, the learning and process is longer/more rigorous then a 6 month police academy which is fucking my lil pony world ( ith ink there is a fantasy kids show for my lil pony with their own fantasy dimension/world)compared to a military bootcamp. A doctrine instilled to stop the spread of communisim wherever and whenever it may presenet itsxelf? when is the fighting going to stop in that area of our dying earth, thjey have been fighting eachother since lifes initial birth, what whoever was in power or in charge of trading the petroleumn to us wanted to charge an extra dollar 4 dollars aBARREL instead of 3??? whaa you fucking greedy cunts,? so we invade and take control put there people on dog collars?? for wshat a dollar difference in productionfreedom of speech as you mothers suck the livlyhood from our home like a blood sucking leech, so careless, you know exactly what your doing, you just dont care it aint your problem your headin towardcs the end your death is brewin, well im the reaper of death cloaked in black i always get my man like a cold inwe can hardly co-exist and efficiently function. We are on world one love bob marley shit im getting tired of going throught the motions im all fucked up inside and shit. Early development can be a lynch pin. to either set a strong first corner stone, ceremonial placement of the first corner stone, free mason shit, corn and vegetable oil, so many customs and traditions are goin down a fuckin hill catch em rollin. Early life is so fucking critical for a young kid, childrens minds are like a sponge they are looking up to their elders they are developing mentally they consume everything around them and retain more than you know, give your kids a healthy and stimulating environment and they will let there talents grow let there talents show let there brilliance flow let there inhibitions go, gone like dust in the wind, never catch em in trouble nothing, not one sin. They will begin to get older, be super organized, super focused for school, every class haxs a folder. As you watch them grow you will feel it in your heart you will fuckin kno, atleast you did this at least you used your parental guidance for good. when you die you know youll be missed, your kid dont throw fits, not one bit, hes such a chip off the old block that was cliche as fuck haha tuck em inh for bed his forhead you kiss. I just might fucking shed a tear, I cant fight this urge to drink a beer. I cant deny this fucking fear, I must look like just like headlights shinin onm a deer, jock strap aroun d my ankles, dumbfounded, look in my eyes, perplexed, look on my face as it hits, you get a certain taste in your mouth this race is coming to a close suddenly your filled with doubht, seriously you should be care free, yuou did your duty as a parent, im jealous wish that was me, chill the fuck out go drink some fucking relaxing tea or something, sobrietyy seems to be a good mixture along with love and rationality to make a family function like a well greased machine, like a mechanisim freshly whipped down with some white lithium grease. tuned and ready to go, temped to huff the fumes and left everything go, turn your car on shut the garage door, let death grip you, dont seem to care anymore, I cant change the past and i have no regreats, will i make it to thirty? “right over here people!” “place your bets!”, ill take my tickets to my Life Show and just scalp em make some extra cash, im already absent, so detatched;incapable of feeling. even if im there aint nothing going on emotionally in there (guarantee you im smilin an nodding i really dont give 2 fucks no more”, take that money right to the plug i promote fucking drugs not hugs, or why not both? why does the saying have to be one or the other when sxometimes its both you desire the most. Take the scalpin’ money from the tickets to the play of my life, go on down to the hood, pick up some bags mis amigos habla “Drogas” los hermanos tambien, this urge is hard to fight. Its a romance [a ritual of being, so0mething un explainable i wish i was never a part of, im always metaphorically bleeding. My poker face is strong, fuck showing weakness i alwayxs thought it was to show emotuion. wrong....... but its not, it can save your life, can \get you through, throw you a life jacket, get you out of that tide you fought, that frigid water no warmer than dry eyes.. Ive always been a loose cannon, I go with the flow, not lookin back, been chillin with the old heads they were suprisxed i could hang and, back to the point haha literally or figuratively is the question... im not gonna keep you waitin or leave yall hangin, i hate cliff hangers, make me wait 45 five minutes leave me jonesin’ its slow goin like grindin that ‘crete in the hangers polishin’ that baby out and coatin with some apoxy, its a process, i just get my drugs, whate=vers around and hit bangersz til i pass out, thatsx how my life has been goingg, i feel like im in the chambers just waiting to be gassed out. Flip the fuuckin switch you fuckin pussy end all this malcontent and hate, make itt black, eternal reest at loast.. dress me up real nice maybe a sharp vest, go through the processions and go through the motions fucking burn my body bitches, i want to be in the ocean ive always felt drawn to it, like an unexplainable,, unatainable unfakeable feeling or notion. im happiest sippin a coctail right by the ocean, thats where you put me to rest... ill be pissed as fuck dont treat me like a fucking ruck; i beenn aroound, age is but a number, my knowledge is vast and profound, ya thats right bitch im fuckin educated, know more tthan you will learn in your life time and im 20 years, old get what im sayin? i dont got a big heaad im actually humble, just at my breaking point. if i was a volcanoe you would feel the rumble; the pre-emptive signs of an eruption pre-determineed in the creator’s mind he took his divine time to find a wayy to grin away the time it took to find the book i bind when al i want is to be stress free and unwind but im the opposite wound up liike the grandfather clock i wish i could stop , the wheels are in motion the gears are set to full speed the feels keep comin i got this itch; this notion, this inkling to stop minglin, stop wastin my time with u useless fuccks. i think its time, its not the end my journey, just started this epic tale of sorrow, my feelings have departed, im fuckingg frozen over colder than ice, dry ice. cant touch me im full of hate and vice, addictive personality on a suicide mission like a ffucking missionary willing to die for his faithh,. i wish man willing to be a martyr for his religion.. ya bitch i smoke stoges in the hotel room just send the bill to him if it comes to me itll end up in the fucking rubbish bin with a looggie on top coughin up brown shit to young for that talk, to young for heart disease pack and a half a day to try to keep my miind at ease, the stress is buildin im like a tickin time bomb, im so wound up like a clock rigged to blow mount vesuvius, a test nuke... the alarm is soundinn off. A bright flash like a million lightning strikes, bout to pop off.. but atleast with style got my limited eddition nikes, listen to me i soound like them, listen to me bitching like a fucking fem, bottle it up, thats what society saays, male suicide is at an all time high like two polar opposites due to wed, its never gonna work im always going to be sad im always going to hurt, no fuck it, im a lock it up and throw away the key, im gonna forget about all this shit and be a fuckin G, be hardcore like the brothhers, leave bitches cryin in the street like aall our fuckin mothers, 32 degrees ferenhiet tatted on my left pec it signifies the tempture of my heart no longer warm and red, its frozen over, it hardly beats, that shit is smaler than the grinches, i turned into what they want me to be, a danger to society, getthe fuck outa myface before i shoo,t b, I got nothing to lose, living for nothing, nada, goose eggs nigga dont give a fuck reckless, no regard for life i dont give two fucks a partridge in a ghetto street, aint no merry christmas song, i like my biches thick and dirty wearin'n some fesh tomy thongs, i use em abuse and enthuse them then ruse thm excusse them fuckin confusethem "why you so distaant all of the suden" keep the vow of silence, like a monk on a holy missio, a friar on a divine quest, sending telepathic messages look into my eyes and see, get the fuck out i was never real these feelings meant nothing to me manipulator, manipulationist making up woprds never been a relationist, the masster of his craft a ventrilliquist or a puppet master you were to blind to see, mama was right just a socio path, ya bitch tell your 7 year old child that; see how long his chipper attitude lasts, im lower than nothing, not even a worm maybe i could bbe a fucking tick suckin blood, noting left of the kid i used to be, no more self worth, i cant love you when i cant love myself, how you expect me to support you when all i do is grab a spoon andd melt all the money thaat comes my way, a junkie, bum destined for an early death and you think yous my bride to be, sorry hun you reaad me wrong, i know its hard cause bitches never know whats goin on inside my head, as i lay in bea,d staring off to somewhere, anywhere but next toyou, staring off into space thinking about my drug abuse, asking myself why, but i know the answer ready to die, but i think ill get a lapper frm one more danceer, i wanna go out in style, not som lame shit maybe go up to a mountain and stand on a cliff, look down, see wher im destined to end up as i take the safety off, finger carressing the trigger, a cool wind blows as i prepare to leave my loved ones bitter, surprised they sstayed aound thislong only ever let em down ever since i was young, never good enough always disappointing this rap comes so easily writing it like noothing, to get this off my chest as theend comes near, i shaped my own destiny i chose to die, now i chose to die here, fuk your beliefs and your faith in gods plan i took my life intomy own fucking hands, i think we all know einstiens theory of insanity, i been doin the same shit fr so long now exspectin shit to change and, i guess im insane.. i took my brilliiant, my sharp mind and put it to waste. its time to pull the inevitable, the good die young idk in this case if thats viable, im scummy i did whatever it took to get my fix to kill that pitt in my tummy. i hurt people close, i stole from my famil.y.. its time to end it, like i caqme into the world, by myself always alone, soemthing that my father toldme that really stuck, its cynical as fuck, but he was right. he said stay out of the bullshit the groggy muck. Only lookout for yourself son, ive been arounnd awhile, [people dont give a fuck about anyone else they care only for themselves, in the end at the most critical time they will always choose them instead of some one else. We are alone in this wrld and its the hard truth jut learn not to ddepend on others while you are still in your youth, ive been fucked over to many times by people i thought i was very close to. now im out to get mines me and only me you and only you, get that fucking look on ur face sorry for beeing real and telling the truth, im trying to prepare your for whats ahead, im tryig to prevent you from depending on a brutus who will fill you with lead, stab you in the back for their own personnal gain, being to trustworthy is a heroic flaw like being egotistical, wanting to help your friends to much, being aragont ect. kryptonite to super man pease dont be batman and let it be yourr bane, bane as in the villian to let you know. im back, here are my words again not my dads, ji really do miss all the relationships i had, havent spoken to my dad in years tookk one for theteam stayed with mama dukese inj the ssplit to save faace, foir my innocent younger brothers. you know what shes also my motheer, shes not capable of surviving alone i didnt think i would abandon her ever i thought id never do that, i stuck with her out of evveryone, a family oof six she looked out for me in times of strife wish i could give her one last kiss, just shot my last 20 and i fucin missed, absesses dont matte any more i bet this 45 shoots true time for the finale, no way i can miss, as the curtains close on my young life one last thought people really took to me, like white on rice, women were drawn to me the mystery i had them enticced, June baby as a cancer i am hard to understand i met a chick once who had a spot in my liifes bnd, she knew me we had a connection so much love we were never disrespectin im glad i could atleast i could teach hersome shit before she ripped my beeating heart out of my chest and stepped on it. Loved hermore than life and i still do i promised her one day i would find her and marry her, walkher down that isle say the words ido, she felt what i felt i know its tru, wasnt ready fgor commitment baby i wil alwayslove yo never orget you if i can i connect with you, like a disease i infected you i aways broght you downi was just baggage extra wait holing you down dragging around im glad youo saw through my snake charming ways saw me for who i was a bumm who couldnt change noot in a short number of days, someone so crippled by pain and grief it was beyond belief, she was the only one i wore my heart on my sleeve for , she lef me sobbinig, crrying violently without end in the door the doorway to more pain. i know she had no choice she had to live her lifee i was just in he way, i was obscuring her focus. eye on the prize isthe only way to achieve your goals and tnt them fuckin boulders, in your way, today i die babe, long time comin bet yall thought i was here to stay. baby l dontshed a tear kno i died drinkin a beer haha but nah you were my last thoughts thinking about all the time we spent getting lost in eachothers eyes and gettin so close we read eachothers thougts, illl miss or idk if ill be concious or just nothjingness, i guess ill fnd out when i finally stop being a pussy and proced with this, see ya velma ill always be your shaggy thinka bout me and dont forget what i made you see, in your self im just another memory on our shelf but let it bbe one thaat sticks we had somethingthat made ssense just clicks somethin that felt so right im really gonn miss, everythinig abnout you im sorry you couldnt trust me but i dont doubt why. i know the truth ive never denied a thing in my life, dont getme wrong everybody tells a little white lie, but you know what its a sign of intelligence not to be afraid to say idk not to lie for the hll of it. Ill see you soon in the nxt life or two i hope reincarnatiuon has a possibility of being true, godbye cruel world th ride is over it was a hell of a whirl, i leave you with absolutely nohing conntributted i was just a part o the cancer people had to live with, butnever acknowledgedd, acted ignoant to ther surroundings as daddy paid for college, i burned bright and hot and had a lot of fun, i had alot of life experienc got alot of shit done, nothing productivee of course in ssocieties eyes but i did fullfill atleast some personal goals, important things in my eyes, the curtains are almost done descending as my pittiful life is ending, but keep your pitty mother fuckers i dont want shit from any of you i dont give yoou nothin dont be so self righteous you look like a bunch of fools, greive for me or celebrate my life i guess its on you how you chhoose to rfemmeber a nobody that nobody knew, a couple feet before the curtains drop, is that? myy eyes decieving? me? no i do see that a single rose descends from the skies, i stare intently at the work of art, a rose is soo beautiful, a representation of love, from the heart, so delicate with its velvet petals, easily ruined a boket wouldve been nice, but who am i fooling, thats a beautiful thing, that was really nice. the product bubbles as i take my last hit of ice, cant takemy eyes off that rose.. its so beautiful... the gun on my forhead now, looking at each individual pedals.. dew from the early mornin forming a small puddle around that naturral phenom, that iconic organic, spectaacular symbol of sometthing real, somethin that matters, something sensual.

As the bits of his brain splatter behid him, arms spread; with grace, almost angelic.he falls off the ciff a hundred feet now for falling, weird but there was a look of peace in his eyes; on his face, maybe he wll finally find happiness.. he fell with nobility and so much grace the floor he hit, his finall restingplace, what cuold be a better box then a natural setting, a beaauty of nature, crawling all around and he will return to the earth, the mother wll take him back just as she gave birth, i thinnk this shit is over now its not my story to tell, inside voices kids no reason to yell. shhhhhhhhhhh.

dont depend dont believe the [enter here]

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