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tentaipetto · 3 months

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Chapter 3

A long way from Longthorne and the throat dragons of the Brook family sat a small, very happy wizards assistant. This particular wizards assistant was very happy because its employer had just fallen off the cliff he was sitting atop into the swirling waters below and hadnt resurfaced in quite a long time. This may seem like a stange thing to be happy about, but in this part of the world, being a wizards assistant is a perilous and very low reward job that only people who are duped into it perform. This particular wizards assistant, whose name was Eija, had been tricked into servitude of the wizard Belben 6 years previously and had already lost an eye, 3 fingers and a good portion of his memory. Eija watched the water below him intently, wizards had a nasty habit of reappearing when you least wanted them to, but nothing had surfaced for a good 25 minutes, he licked his lips and let the smile his tongue felt spread across his face. His legs were dangling off the rock he was sitting on, like a child dangling its legs from a tree swing. Eija considered considering leaving but he knew that if he considered that, Belben would reappear from the waters like an evil spirit and float up to where he was sitting just to get on his nerves. He decided that he was going to enjoy the peace and quiet of his surroundings for a little longer before he considered himself a free man and found out he wasnt. The air was cool up here, not cold, not unpleasant, but cool. It smelt fresh, the sea air with wafts of seaweed and fish mingled with the grassy tones from behind him and swirled together in his nostrils, it was nice to be able to take the time to smell the air every once in a while. It had been a good 6 years since Eija had been able to sit still for this long without having to worry about rogue magical forces encroaching on his space. It was comforting to know that for the time being at least he was completely alone, except he wasnt, but he didnt know that, so he was happy and comforted. He took one last deep lung full of fresh, easy going, free air and stood himself up by sliding off the edge of his rock onto the cliff top it was resting on. "I am free at last!" he exclaimed with a tone of sarcasm. He expected his employer to rise quickly after this announcement, but Belben was in no mood to be rushed, he had watched his assistant enjoying himself and was not happy about it. Liberties had been taken.

Eija took a tentative peek over the cliff towards the crashing swirling waves and was a bit confused, he expected the wizard to have reappeared by now, the tantaslising idea that he might actually really be free flashed across his mind and lingered just long enough for him to allow himself to believe it, even if only a little, that was Belben decided to show himself. Eija sighed loudly and resigned himself to the fate he knew deep down was coming for him. He and he alone had signed up for this, whether he realised it or not, and now there was no getting away from it, no matter how much he wanted to.

Belbens face was a mixture of self satisfication at making Eija believe he could be free and watching his spirit be crushed once more and annoyance at the fact that Eija knew what was really going to happen and selfishly took the time to figuratively smell the roses while he was held in the depths of the ocean. It wasnt fitting of a wizard of his standing to be let down so badly by his assistant of this many years. Most assistants would have had a nasty fatal accident by now, this one had been well cared for and had only lost one or two little body parts, he should be grateful! Eija knew he would be in for it later, he'd get all the jobs Belben saved up for bad behaviour. Cleaning out the cauldrens, alphabetising the spell papers (of which there were at the very least thousands, if not millions, and Eija was certain he had seen some rodents or other swimming in the boxes at one time), maybe ever clearing out the accumulation of various mosses from the guttering of thier humble abode. Humble is probably the wrong word to use to describe the residence of Belben the wizard. In fact it is most definatley the wrong word, austentatious with a hint of egotistical maniac is probably slightly more appropriate. Belben had heard of people with small home, and even of those that chose not to have rooms so bedraped with rare furs it looked like the contents of a zoo had been tipped in through the ceiling, but he didnt hold with it, his approach to interior design was that of more is more, and even then, its probably safe to add a few more of everything. Eija on the other hand prefered the simple things in life, he wasnt adversed to beauty, he was even a little artistic having some drawings pinned to the walls of his small downstairs room, but simple was what kept him sane. In this house, this world full of complicated everything, he liked to just see the simple beauty in a flower, or a stone, or the swirl of a wave. It made him happy no end to smell freshly collected honey from the bees at Mrs Meddesons farmstead on the other side of the acres of Belbens land. He longed to hear the cheerful chirping of the morning chorus but he hadnt heard it for the past 3 years since Belben became agitated at the little creatures and created a spell to mute them if they were within the boundaries of his land. Eija was just grateful he hadnt muted them permenantly, or worse still killed them. But he knew that Belben, whilst petty, wasnt stupid, the birds kept the biting insects at bay and they were a bugger to kill, with magic or not.

Belbens home was situated on the Southern most Isle of the Western Isles Tejada, it was outside the largeish city of Hollowlake (I say largeish as really, it was a big village but the Western Isles has been ravaged by clan wars over the years and people tended not to clump together if they could help it). Hollowlake itself was about as picturesque as you can get this far south, it had the greenery of cities further north but also the intellect and economy of far flung places on the Northern Bank and even a few people from the Eastern Plains had settled here. River towns were always interesting places, but on Tejada, Hollowlake was the main attraction. It had a wonderful school, it had a market that was always bustling during the day and it even had a nightlife to speak of. Eija would have loved the oppurtunity to go and explore it, to take in the sights and sounds of everything it had to offer. Belben had his reasons for being so harsh (or lenient, whichever way you look at it) so Eija was just going to have to accept his fate.

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thatguy03 · 3 years

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Body swap serum - Male tf

"Temporarily swap bodies with someone!" Read the the bold text on a pop up add. The fact that he was looking for body swap porn at that exact time freaked him out a little bit, but it was still too intriguing to ignore. "Hookup with anyone online and you can swap bodies, as long as you meet in person", pretty self explanatory he thought as he read through the add. Adam was always a pretty gullible guy, but the more he read, the more hope he lost that this could be real. I mean it was a ridiculous idea in the first place, right?

He gave up on the idea, though he had enough faith in the add to at least save the email address just in case. Lucky for him, that would come in handy. The very thought of being able to swap bodies with anyone, even with all the doubt he carried, was enough to keep his mind racing all night. He noticed sun light shining through his window, it was already morning and he hadnt had one thought other than that stupid add. His list got the better of him as he sprang out of bed to his computer, immediately sending an email to that address he had seen on the add. After all, all he had to lose was 20 bucks and maybe a bit of his pride. Even the slightest chance of this not being a scam was worth it.

Adam kept checking his email every few seconds, excitement flowed through his body just waiting for that email to come. It didnt even take long either, although it felt like hours, it only took about 5 minutes for the reply. He was too excited to realize how sketchy that is. The email was simple and straight to the point. "Would you like to swap with a man or a woman", he answered man. Though the offer to be able to feel what it was like to be a woman, he was in for a different, much bigger reason. "A brief description of desired traits", Adam without a second thought typed in "tall, muscular, fat, and hairy". Adam has never really talked about his fetish with anyone, but this opportunity was too amazing to pass up, so he had typed that in with no hesitation. Just the thought of typing that in made him hard. That was all the info they needed, so he hit send.

It didnt take very long to get a match, as it turns out there are a lot of big hairy men that want to be twinks like Adam. This guy matched Adam's description perfectly, 6'3 300 pounds with gigantic arms and a massive hairy beach ball of a gut. That's all he needed to send "meet 1787 tanner st in 15 mins".

"Omw ;)"

Adam scrambled as he took all his clothes off except for his boxers, and cleared out his lounge where he had a mirror that covered to whole wall. Before he knew it, the doorbell rang. He nervously opens the door to find the behemoth of a man standing on his porch. "Hey, I'm Tony" the guy said in a surprisingly nice voice, it helped to break the pure terror that was running through Adam's head at the sight of Tony. "Adam" he said politely as he gestured to come in. Seeing as Adam was already in his pyjamas, Tony eagerly ripped his clothes and followed Adam to the giant mirror. Adam got hard to the fact Tony barely even fit in the mirror, he didnt even think they made bigger mirrors than that until he met Tony. Tony had signed up earlier than Adam so he had already gotten 2 doses of the serum that would swap their bodies. The instructions read to drink one portion each and make physical contact.

Adam was terrified but never has he felt this invigorated. He and Tony both downed their respective bottles and grabbed each others hands.

Adam immediately felt the effects of the serum, he felt a surge of energy along with mass of butterflies in his stomach. It started with his face, a double chin started to form but was quickly covered by the thick black beard that Tony had be sporting. His lucius wavy hair fell out leaving a tough looking buzz cut behind. He felt his lips plump up as his cheeks puffed out giving a tough weathered look to his previously perfect looking face. He watched in awe as his shoulders and chest widened, and his neck began to develop folds. He felt a surge shooting through his arms as they started to grow into two watermelon sized biceps, hes never felt better in his life. The high continued as his for arms grew bigger than his thighs, and grew out hair that seemed longer than the hair he now had on his head. His hands looked like they had just swollen to three times the size they were just a couple seconds ago, his fingers looked like sausages.

He was so distracted by his transformation that he didnt even notice how hard his dick was, though he noticed how good it felt. As he was in shock of the sight of his gigantic hands, his chest suddenly grew a tone of hair, almost to the point that you could see the pale skin under, thought this would last long. As soon as the hair grew in his skin got a perfectly bronze tan before his defined pecks blew up into strong but slightly saggy moobs, they were bigger than any girls tits he had ever seen. He even noticed how huge his nipples had gotten, they were probably at least 5 times bigger than they were before, and definitely 10 times more sensitive. As he was in a flood of euphoria from the feeling of his rough man hands touching his over sensitive nipples, his stomach began to rumble. This was going to be big. Suddenly his stomach seemed a little rounder, then it started looking like a basket ball. He grabbed his stomach in his giant hands, realizing how amazing it felt to rub his sausage finger through the ever growing layer of fur on his belly. His belly was now at least the size of a beach ball, he was now long past the point of being able to see his feet, let alone his 8 inch dick sticking straight out. It also gave a support for his previously sagging mobs causing then to slide towards the side if his paunch. His belly jiggled up and down as fat piled on, he now had to look at the mirror to see anything past his mountain of a belly.

He was admiring how perfectly round and hairy his stomach and set of man titties were when he realized how front heavy he had become. The weight of his oversized pot belly was dragging forward, but this would be a problem for long. He felt a tingle run down his spine, and he managed the strength to swing his stomach so he could see his back in the mirror. The hair from his ass spread up through his back making even hairier looking than the front. This just added the to the definition of his love handles as they stretched out from his hips, giving his body some curvyness that made Adam rethink wanting to switch back. The definition he used have on his upper back quickly covered in an avalanche of pudge and dark hairs, at this rate hed be surprised if he could fit through door frames with those love handles. Knowing what was next, Adam grabbed his already fat ass in anticipation. The feeling of his ass cheeks ballooning out of control gave him a rush, his cheeks were probably each quadruple the size yet still maintained a perfectly shaped. The feeling of his goliath hands grabbing the copious amounts of fat and thick hair on his ass caused a rush he couldnt describe, it felt so good he didnt even notice the precum leaking from his dick, he wasnt even jacking off and he knew he couldnt last that much longer. As he swung back to face the mirror, his newly found ball gut and love handles bounced, a sensation Adam never knew felt so good. He also noticed that his head was starting to reach the too of the mirror, he was nowhere near that height before.

Adam was slightly disappointed about the fact that he didnt think his titan of an 8 incher could get any bigger, but boy was he wrong. The feeling flowing through his dick was indescribable, he grabbed it out of instinct. His dick did feel smaller because of the fact that his hands were over 3 times the size, but the feeling didn't last as his dick shot up to an unimaginable 12 inches and at least doubled in girth, he now had the biggest hands he had ever seen and he still couldnt fit his hand around it. His dick was so big he could see it, despite the fact that his belly was so massive he couldn't even touch his fingers together when he wralled his arm around his stomach. He was so hard that his dick started riding on his under belly, a feeling he had never experienced. The rub from his jello like gut was enough to push him over the edge, he shot the biggest load he had ever seen in his life right on the mirror. He moaned at the ecstasy of that orgasm, but something was off. The moan was extremely deep, like Tony's voice was earlier. The deep voice really turned him on, He noticed something else changing, but he didnt know what, he lifted his furry gut to reveal the lump of fat that surrounded the base of his dick. It looked smaller but still significantly bigger than it had before his transformation. He could barely even see it through the jungle that covered it, but the feeling of the ball of fat rubbing against his weathered fingers was enough to confirm that there was more fat on his crotch then on his entire body before touching hands with Tony.

As a result of the 300 pound upper body Adam had developed, his legs had to keep up. The force of his thighs exploding with pure muscle and fat, causing him to feel as if he was floating, despite that fact he now was 6"6 weight well over 400 pounds. He weight so much the floor boards creaked under the shear weight of Adam's body. The massive amounts of thick black hair was now spreading to his hulking thighs, it felt like he was rubbing his hands through a carpet and he loved every bit of it. His calfs were next followed by his feet. He was a size 9 mens, and he noticed on the way in that Tony had size 16 mens. It was reasonable for his girthy stature but that big of a difference was gonna be interesting. For the first time tonight he had felt resistance, it felt weird and since coudlnt see his feet, he had to glance at the mirror to check. He had forgotten to take his slippers off. It didnt take long for his feet to rip right the slippers as his feet doubled in size. At least it gave him more balance.

The transformation finally slowed down, although he was still getting fatter here and there, the bulk of it was over. He finally got to enjoy his newfound bod. Thought something didnt seem right, he tried walking to the bathroom but didnt realize how much harder it was to walk when he was this obese. It felt like he had to stretch his legs as far as possible so his thighs wouldnt rub. He finally managed to wobble his way over to the bathroom, having to squeeze his way through the door. He stepped on the scale and it read 450 pounds. He knew something was off, Tony was 300 pounds and could definitely fit through this door when he got here.

He struggled his way through the doorframe and waddled back to the lounge where Tony was. He was shocked to see Tony thought, not because of the fact that he looked like Adam, but because he looked like Adam if he had but on 50 pounds directly to his belly. Adam was fit 160 pounds before the transformation and now Tony was 230 pounds with a pot belly bigger than a basketball. "I actually love the belly on you, maybe after we switch back I'll grow one out." Adam remarked. Though still shocked he checked the bottle and it turned out they took way to much serum which made them gain weight then they originally had.

Adam was very excited to explore every inch of his planet of a body. They spent hours just trying out random stuff, and staining a lot of things white. The even had sex a few times which seems weird but both of them were too enthralled with their own bodies to realize they were basically having sex with themselves. Adam enjoyed playing with his muscle belly which was muscly enough to keep its shape but fat enough that shook and jiggle at the slightest touch. He loved rubbing and squeezing his oversized man tits with CD sized over sensitive nipples. Every work that came out of his deep sexy voice turned him on even more, especially when moaning. And best of all, he loved so strong he could lift anything in the room, including Tony.

After they had had their fun they decided to call it quits and maybe do it another time. Figuring that the extra weight gain would affect them while they were in eachothers bodies, they thought they would just return to normal upon transformaing back. Though secretly Adam was really turned on by the idea of being as fat as Tony looked in his body, and wouldnt mind staying that way. The tranformation back was much quicker, but still felt amazing. Though when it was over with, something didnt feel right, he still felt heavy. Maybe I'm just feeling it still from when I was in Tony's body, he thought. But he was stunned when turned around to see he had out on some pudge, and by pudge he meant he looked bigger than those feedees he saw on grommr, well over 300 pounds. Not only did he keep his fat from when Tony was in his body, but he must have another 100 pounds. He had a triple chin, mobs that started to resemble tonys, and a beer gut that could easily fit a beach ball into it. On top of that he was now 6"1, 3 inches than before. He wanted to be worried but couldnt help but be horny as hell at the sight of obese body.

Once he snapped out of his trans of fat horniness, he suddenly remembered Tony, and how he must've reacted if Adam had gained so much, what about Tony. He turned, every bit of blubber on his body lagging behind. He was horrified to see Tony sitting on the floor, obviously unable to get up, he had to have been at least 600 pounds, had a doubled his weight the same as how Adam did, except for him Tony it was way more serious. His balloon of a belly played of his legs covering past his knees, thought it surprisingly kept it shape, it was still a solid round muscle belly, but now with some etrxa dropping heavily at his under belly. His thighs were spread out like they filled with water. He was somehow even harder than before, you could barely see his skin in some places. Even his 12 incher was over half covered by his fat pad, which now had an overhang of it's own. His under unsurprisingly ripped to shreds, non of Adams towels would even fit him, his towels will barely fit around him at this point.

They ordered the largest clothes they could find online so that Tony could actually leave the house. But first they ordered another double does of the body swap serum. They had to do something while waiting for their clothes to arrive, why not have some fun in the meantime.

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thisdreamplace · 3 years

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ashamed to say the 3D reflects our true inner reality, yes? my ENTIRE family has turned against me, after some atrocious conflicts in which they all ganged up on me nd judged me, name-calling, very hurtful things too, provoked me. i been dealing with some serious mental uh 'issues' on my own nd when this happend i was already on the verge of a breakdown nd the good news is while the conflict happened i kept telling myself theyre only reflecting me u can get thru it etc. Later i looked at the hard facts nd realised some of the hurtful things they said were my deep secret feelings abt myself. BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people? confronting one person vs whole family, why?! i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?

Part 2 is simply its been a week and theyve still been cold towards me as if I yelled AT THEM ABT THEIR PAINFUL 'tRuThS' in front of EVERYONE LMAOOO. At first if i was around we'd have dinner together while they'd all talk to each other like best friends aka sickeningly overly friendly while completely IGNORING me while i sat there. i could tolerate it. I WAS PISSED AT THEM TOO Now its too painful. They're having dinner without telling me, yesterday didnt leave enough food for me knowing i hadnt eaten, serve tea/snacks without my portion. i honestly feel so unspeakably trigered nd sad. worst is these things r reminding me of deep school memories when id feel excluded like this by other kids at parties or class activities nd its like im back there. anyway im glad i controled myself a bit nd didnt counter with horrid things abt them to THEM yet they think they can say the same to me. im so hurt rn i cant even tell u lol i was okay the whole week but now its too much,, ive been crying the whole day

thing is, ik this seems like 'im a victim oh noooo they ganged up on meee'. Nope its more like how do i change myself to change them?! u could say why not talk to them how they made u feel, except whenever ive defended myself in the past regarding hurtful things they/anyone in family did, the siblings/parents would say irritating things like: "oh so YOU'RE the one hurt? Oh thats right, its because YOU'RE right! yes, yes, you're always right. Forgive me for saying anything against the perfect person u are." Or one of them says: "You?! I hurt YOU? What about me? You don't care about me! So you think what ur doing is okay?" or "no, who do YOU think u are to tell ME what to do?" it just goes in circles like this! i dont deserve to hurt myself or do smth to myself even if they dont give a damn, even if years of silent suffering of the 'mEntAL pRoBlEms' (which my lovely parents have already told me is my fault years ago, hence why I NEVER show it to them, unless im crying too much then lol they just mock me, but idc abt THAT bcoz now ik i hav a right to let out my emotions)). i mean this is worse rjan usual. its kinda insane nd when guests come they start talking to me as if nothing's wrong then when they leave, they ignore me!

this whole twisted dynamics, feelijf left out nd helpless is ig some crazy assumptin from childhood of being alone nd unable to defend myself. plus when they argye with anyone, they become overly self-righteous nd over the years its clear they can only scream, blame the scapegoat and never talk abt serious matter like normal ppl. And yes, in the past when i bring this up, they like to reply with stuff like: "no YOU'RE the one who doesnt talk to US bla bla" like, when i do u just shut me down? have belittled my mental 'issues', mocked me when im at my worst, stabbed me with cruel silent treatments nd thinking its alright "bcoz of self-righteousness blegh". Or maybe i think its okay for them to punish me? or whatev? Like law says u get what u r. if these ~~~ keep doing this to me, im doubly ashamed to say this means im the one at fault?! i let this monster assunptin grow nd now idk what to do. the worst thing imo is how i failed to tell them,even if they ignored me in the past, how i feel when anything like this or a conflict happens nd none of them stand up for me, or at least are neutral to me. bcoz now if i do, they say nope, u dont care what we do, YOUR the shameless one :! so yeah they hav the advantage of 'numbwrs' while im too afraid to stand up for myself lol. btw they never apologize nd i suspect they expect ME to apologize to TYEM bcoz everything's already ruined bcoz of 'me'..... i give up on them, i really do, but my heart hurts. Either i harden my heart, nd save up to move out, OR i try to change my self or whatev assumptins i have. But how do i do that? i try afirming: "my familys so nice to me, im respected by them" but it feels so fake tears literally enter my eyes lol

firstly i want to say, thank you for coming here to vent and being open about your feelings. it’s so important sometimes to just let it all out, without holding back. so that way you can move forward more bravely, to create the life you truly want to experience. that being said, i am going to be completely honest with you here in hopes that perhaps it may inspire you and you will be ready to do what is needed for the life you truly want to experience.

“BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people?” -> “i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?” here is your question, and here is your answer. i think that being completely honest when venting your feelings can actually be so helpful, because if you read back what you have said, you will be able to clearly find the patterns that are creating your personal hell. FEELING IS THE SECRET. ASSUMPTIONS HARDEN INTO FACT. the true way you feel, becomes your experience. Feelings/assumptions/beliefs come first, and the experiences come second to confirm them. That’s all that’s happening here.

i am glad that you were able to keep your reactions to a minimum! that's wonderful and as many of us know, it can sometimes be hard to do in such hurtful circumstances. but you managed to do it, this shows just a small glimpse of the power you truly hold within. although emotionally you may feel out of control, there is still the choice to choose better for yourself which you demonstrated through your reaction to them. good for you!

the truth is, you acknowledge the victim mindset to seem like you’re not engulfed in it, but no, you’re still very clearly engulfed in it. as i have said before, you can’t be a VICTOR and feel bad about it. feeling bad about taking responsibility, about everyone is you pushed out, about any of these types of concepts automatically shows a victim mindset. talking to them won’t do anything, because there are no second causes. you could talk to them nicely, you could be the nicest person in the world. but you can’t pretend your way out of your inner world. your inner world is the one and only cause of your experiences. until you change the story you tell yourself, they will stay the same. this is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. and it can feel heavily, because it’s ultimately only you’re choice. they can’t change until you do. the heaviness of the situation may make it seem impossible to turn around, but that’s just an illusion. your emotional attachment to the situation makes it seem so real and hard to change, but no. that’s just an illusion too. however, it’s ultimately your choice. Do you want to take responsibility for your life, or do you want to keep being tossed around like your lost at sea, victim to the merciless angry waves? Because we always have a choice. No one chooses your inner world, you do. No one can go into your mind and decide things for you, that’s only your job.

you can harden your heart, but who would be the one who suffers more? It won’t be your family, i can assure you. it’ll only be you. by doing that, you keep that old story alive and therefore you keep experiencing it. you keep those stories alive that are desperately showing themselves to you, saying “LET US GO.” but you remain identified with those painful stories, so you grip onto them tight. you keep on thinking of possible reasons for their behavior, but you could just read your entire ask back to yourself and you’ll see every reason. your reactions, your beliefs about them, your emotional pain. its your refusal to let those things go, and focus on what you truly want that keeps you in this state and keeps them in this state. sure it’s painful to face the responsibility at first, but it’s not a blame game. thinking its about blame is just a misunderstanding of the teachings. it’s not about they’re so perfect and you’re so not, so you have to change your ways. it’s about this is how life works here. this is about... you can ONLY ever experience self. whatever is going on within, will be reflected in your outer world. it’s about how they can’t change, UNTIL YOU DO. so instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you have to decide to give yourself the gift of a wonderful life because you have that power too. you stop deciding they can be in control of your experience, and you decide your experience yourself.

to change your assumptions, stop trying to affirm over them and actually face what’s keeping you from believing in your desires. yeah, it’s going to be painful and uncomfortable. but you need to face the pain that you’re running away from, so that it can finally be released. you have to realize, it only stayed true because you believed it to be true. and if you are to live a life free from that story, and experience a more desirable story, then you must let the pain go. give yourself love and grace as you work through it, and know that there is a more beautiful side of life that awaits for you to accept it in.

No One To Change But Self

There is Nothing to Forgive

How to Sit with Your Triggers

give yourself the time you need, it's not race. the love that you wish to experience exists, allow it in. 💖

#eiypo

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sweater-daddiesdumbdork · 4 years

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Stay Safe (Early Years)

Summary- 3.7k Curtis Everett x Y/N. Curtis is appointed by McGregor as second and preparing for the McGregor Riots. Traumatic almost Non Con event described. Written by request for @that-damn-girl. Thank you so much for your love of Curtis babes. This is a complete rewrite, I have another version that I might post later as a “this could have been what happened between these two” lol.

Curtis sat among the men, his back braced against the wall, listening. They were collected to hurry to Gilliams, which could only mean one thing. McGregor got word somehow about the next part of the plan, for the revolt. The revolt they been planning for the past two years, Curtis had just been allowed to join McGregors inner circle, and now he leaned forward to see a map of the train cars and McGregor had his finger on one. "The water car. This here is where we gotta get past. From what this map says, there is only one water car.”

Curtis scanned the map, but it was so dirty and worn, it was hard to tell what else they were looking at. It seemed a good portion of the front end was sleeper cars, entertainment cars. The middle, working class. They were growing food, making goods, and what also looked like hospital cars. Then a few storage cars and finally water. It made no sense to Curtis why they would have the water car so far back, just before the prison. Shouldnt it be near the front?

“Okay, so we go take the water car, or get past it?” Another member asked, shrugging. “Its like 7 cars to get up to the water car. How much further do you want to go McGregor?” Absently McGregor scratched at his beard, thinking. “What do you think Gilliam, make it the goal to get up to at least these food cars? We need it, desperately. They been halving our rations for some time now.”

“Tactic to weaken us.” Gilliam sighed, rubbing his face and leaning forward slightly on his cane. “They know were gonna feed our children first. Weve already proven that ages ago.” The mans rheumy eyes glanced at Curtis, who looked away from the gaze.

Curtis’s placed his palm against his arm, easily feeling the scar through the fabric of his jacket. Most everyone... The guilt of his actions in the past flashed across his face momentarily before going back to his cold demeanor. Clearing his throat, he spoke up. “Where did you even get this intel anyways? Does anyone know if this map is accurate?”

“Its accurate, I paid dearly for this, and lets leave it at that.” McGregor gruffly stated, agitated that he would be questioned. Curtis quieted his questions as McGregor continued, laying out the rest of the plan. Which was simple enough. The ones in the first row would charge the meager amount of guards who did the daily head count, and get a hold of there weapons. Keep one alive, that was the important part. They needed his accessibility to open the doors. “Remember, Keep at least one alive, prefer two though. Just in case.” He stressed to all of them. “Not a word to anyone either. This will all stay hush until were finally ready.”

“When is that gonna be?” Curtis decided to question again, and Gilliam this time answered. “Its almost new years, and there will be more activity back here.” The whole group groaned. Every year Minister Mason brought the tail end boiled eggs, and did a long winded speech in several languages about how Wilford was the divine and merciful. “So after we cross the bridge and do the tail end mockery, we will start.” Gilliam rubbed at his face. “Okay, leave me now. I need to rest.”

With shuffles the people started to filter out, when McGregor stalled Curtis from leaving, leaving just the three men left in Gilliams space. “Curtis, we needed to speak with you specifically.” McGregor said, and Gilliam nodded in confirmation.

“What?” Curtis asked, his brows arching in question.

“Im tempted to keep you from going son, simply because if something happens to me, I need you to take up this cause.” McGregor tapped on the map. And Curtis shook his head in confusion as to what he is saying.

“I dont understand, nothing is going to happen, were going to make it to the food cars.” Curtis stated with conviction.

“We probably will, but we also need to be realistic here Curtis. If we dont get that far, there needs someone to take right over and keep this up with Gilliam. Getting the people out of this cage is the most important. I know your young son, but people already respect you. Your cool headed and smart, I know I will be leaving it in capable hands. And its just a precaution. Plan B.” McGregor explained. “And no one but Gilliam knows, so dont go mentioning it to anyone.”

Curtis nods, still trying to process, and he looks between the two men. “Im not sitting this out, I refuse to. Weve come to far to sit it out.” and the two other men shook there head.

“We already figured you refuse to sit out, but your not gonna be in the very front in that initial charge, your going to bring along the rest until we at least get enough weapons in hand.” Curtis was glowering already at this news and before he could say anything, Gilliam said sharply. “Curtis its already settled. You will do this cause Im asking you to.”

Blue eyes that were enraged shut down at those words, and he gave a nod. Turning, he ducked out, stuffing his hands in his jacket pockets, lost in his thoughts as he weaved around the people doing there usual activities. When a holler caught his attention, and lifting his gaze, he saw you with a whole pile of kids racing down the aisle. Grabbing one into a hug, your tickled him and he squealed, making all the kids twist back like a flock. They all tackled you, and you mocked scream, tumbling out of sight into a bunk with them. His worries temporarily set aside, he made his way down to where you all disappeared.

“Y/N, you still alive in there?” He ducked down enough to look in, and your hand shot out to grab ahold of his, which he pulled you out, your face flush with laughter, and you grab a hold of his coat to steady yourself. “With those little hellions? Never... they make me so proud, I raised them to be ruthless.” Giggling while you are still trying to catch your breath and you wag a finger in the bunk. “You all better be hidden when I come back.” Hooking your arm through Curtis’s, you pull him away, still brushing your hair from your face and smiling up at him.

“Where you been all day?” you questioned as the two of you walk away from the bunk, and the kids scramble out to go hide away from you, you glance over your shoulder to take notice where they are headed, not that there was many options for them to go. As long as they werent disturbing other people to much. Turning back to Curtis, you tilt your head to look up and study him, his face was clouded and agitated, you could see where he was tensing his jaw enough to tic, something was certainly on his mind.

Giving you a side ways glance, he gave just one word and then it all clicked for you. “Gilliams.” Of course, not that you were exactly privy to it, but you heard the whispers making there way through the train. It was like a match sparked being thrown on gasoline, snaking its way among the people, giving them all hope, and restlessness. Already you seen a spike in your parents clinic of people getting into mild fights. Dabbing away at the cuts and scrapped knuckles, warning them to keep clean as possible cause infections set in so easily.

It was a ignited fire that was only getting hotter with time.

You press your shoulder against his to drag more words out of him. “What else Curtis?” He looks like hes about to say more, working the words up from his chest, his eyes sharp in there resolve, and before he can open his mouth to fill you in, McGregor comes up from behind, and clasps Curtis’s shoulder in greeting. “Hey you two, coming up to the front soon? They are about to hand out protein bars.” A look, one that you very well caught, passed between them. An uneasy feeling sinking in your chest.

“Yea, we will be headed up soon.” Curtis snaps a bit at him, and you wrinkle your brow at the odd interaction. Curtis watched McGregors retreating back, and tugged you lightly off to a small cubby, you stumbling into the out of the way place between the pipework that crisscrossed in the space between some bunks. “Curtis? what is this about?”

“Listen to me Y/N, shits about to happen. And its gonna be just what youve been hearing. Im sure you and your folks will be part of clean up, but promise me you wont leave this car till weve made it through, okay?” Curtis’s eyes searched yours looking for confirmation, anything that you were going to listen to him. A slight nod is given, and you pick at your hands before reaching out, and fisting your hands in his jacket.

“Dont fucking get killed either Curtis, promise me that, okay? I know your going to insist on going.” So matter of fact, you knew your friend, he wouldnt be able to live with himself otherwise. You watched him for years punish himself for his desperate acts in the past. That fear that anyone would hold it against him, the way he grasp at his arm when he thought it was all to good for him. You knew, Curtis still hadnt forgiven himself.

“I wont, I promise...” Fake promises, he couldnt look you in the eyes when he said this, no one could never know if they will return once they leave this car, but your look made the man ache in his chest. How he wished he could bring back that smile you had on just minutes earlier. You shined, a softness in all this hellish darkness. You have been there for him since the beginning, you came right out of that darkness from where you were hiding with Mat and fell to your knees, trying to stop the bleeding where he tried to cut off his arm. Curtis didnt even know how to react that day, when you at 13 showed more compassion then any of the others did, then he did. Your eyes wide in your fear, and yet you refused to pull away from him “Its okay, you dont have to do this, see?” Your words still echoed through him.

It just continued, always you were piecing him back together again, seeking him out to wrap an arm around him when he missed human touch, making sure he felt you vibrate against him in your laughter when you leaned against him, your grin seeking his to flutter for a moment on his lips, teasing voice singing his name.The times your tears soaked on his shoulder, your hug rattling in his hold as your sadness penetrated the anger. When did it all really matter that much he held onto you like a life line? His life line. At some point for him, you crossed that line as just friend. And he felt it blossom through him with a heated desire he never felt before. What would it be like.... to have you as truly his? Forever his? You were just to good for the like of him. He would be a dark mark on you, scrubbing forever to rub out his stain.

Curtis didnt know how it happened, but in that moment, he had to know. Had to know if you were just as soft in his arms as you were strong, and his hands moved to cup your face, your cheeks fingers pressing back into your hair, and that was just what he imagined, silken tendrils wrapping around his fingers. You went wide eyed in those seconds, and yet never pulled away as if he was scaring you in any way. Your eyes softened for him, and when he pulled you in closer, your head tipped to meet him. That first touch, a soft press of lips was innocent sweetness, soft brushes of lips and breaths.

Your innocence certainly made him continue forward gently, a tilt of his head and soft nibbles on your lip, a press of his tongue made you open in surprise and he let that kiss deepen. You were clumsy in it, always a little behind, but Curtis led you with encouraging strokes, the whole sensation dragged out a moan from you, a flush of your body pressing into his. His hands tightened slightly in your hair, and breaking from you, his forehead leaning against yours with soft pants shared between you. No you werent his, but what he wouldnt give for you to be. He was still trying to calm the fire you laced through him in that kiss.

��I promise... I will come back Y/N” Crystal blue eyed promises now, and you accepted it far better this time, your lips still tingling from the contrast of soft kisses and brush of bristling beard, to his tongue filling your mouth, laying claim to you as his.

But havent you really been his for a while? Even when you didnt know it, he was your safety, your dark guardian.

Always looking out for you, protecting you.

Drawing your way out, you are sure to slide the curtain closed for your patients privacy, and start making another round to see to other people, chat with them, just see if they need anything in general. You dont notice the wandering eyes following you, weaving through the people till you got to a quieter part of the tail end. You didnt notice, not until its to late when an arm shoots out in front of you, making you pause momentarily as it blocked you. “What the... Eric, what do you want?” You try to duck under his arm, but the mans grasp on your arm pauses you. A glance his way showed a handsome young man, blond locks curling around green eyes, that glinted coldly at you, and he firmly without any choice of your own backed you against the wall. “See youve been playing little home nurse again Y/N”

“Just helping mom and dad, can you please let go?” You try tugging your arm from his grasp and his other hand came up to your face to trace the curve, obviously not ready to loosen his hold, for whatever reason you would clam up around him, your heart fluttering and your breath quickening. Some would think it was innocent attraction. But it was more fear of what he would eventually do to you if given the chance.

“When you going to let me kiss you huh? I dont see why you keep fighting me on this.” He hovered closer, his breath washing over your face and you wrinkle your nose at it. It was hot and sour to you, you tried to pull back but there was no where else to go, so the back of your head would thump against the cold metal wall.

“Im not, I dont want to and you cant change my mind.” You wriggle once more trying to get him to stop digging into your arm. “So how about you go find one of the other girls? I know there are plenty who want to be with you.”

“To easy, I rather like the one who denies me” His voice dropped deeper, making you panic sightly. His eyes, you hated the way he would stare at you, following you from wherever he was, like you were a prize to be had. "I figured it's about time I change your mind about it though." You strain out of his touch on your face and go to push against his chest to stumble him back.

"I said no! Fuck no would I ever be with you, let alone kiss you" you snap at him, turning to leave, put distance between you two, back in a crowd. Eric was to coward to try to anything with people around. He snarled though, wrapping an arm around you.

Effectively he pinned your arms helpless and your back against your chest, falling back harder then you expected, making you helpless, his hand clasped over your mouth, effectively muffling any protests you had. "What you think your to good for someone like me sweetheart. If your good enough to get Curtis's dick wet, think you can mine as well without this much of a fight." Your eyes widened at his words. I haven't, were not, stop!... Just friends, you think in as your panic is washing over you, and he manipulated your head to fall back to his shoulder, you try twisting out. Then he pressed his face in your neck, and bit you, what started as a sloppy kiss turned into a bruising bite, yelping at the shock of pain and you try kicking him hard enough in the leg behind you to drop him. The tread of your boot slid down the inside of his leg, and he pushed you away from him to crash you against the trains wall, hard enough to bounce you off, making you groan from the harsh impact.

Erics hand whipped you around, effectively pinning you with his body. No way to leverage a kick again, and hands pinned your arms down to keep from attacking. "Fucken shit head!" Your voice raised into yelling at him, where was everyone? It was eerily quiet and no one around, he smirked at your struggles, dawning on you when you saw how turned on, felt how turned on. That foreign bulge dug into your belly. "Keep struggling Y/N, just makes me hard for you, so cute thinking you don't want this."

"Your vile Eric, like those front end pigs" nothing but disgust dripping from your tone, trying to hide your fear. But he knows, it just widens his predatory grin knowing your words were masking the fear coursing through your veins. His lips hovered so close, mocking tone as he brushed them barely against yours, as you tried tilting your face away. “Come on Y/N, just one little kiss for me. Do it and I will let you go.”

You glare at him and spit, right in the fuckers face, it runs down his eyes and nose, and you smirk at him as he starts cussing and wiping his face on his sleeve. “You little fucking cunt whore! Nasty pig think you can get away with that shit?!” His hand releases you and goes to hit you when a grasp catches his wrist, wrenching it back. Both yours and Erics eyes go wide in surprise, and you see Curtis glowering behind him, firmly twisting Erics arm hard, then harder again he snarls out. “She sure as fuck is gonna get away with it. I think she told you no”

Curtis jerked Erics arm further and a crack was followed by Eric screaming and letting you go, you slid away from his grasp, Curtis jerking him forward to take where he had you pinned before. They were evenly matched in size, but Curtis had him crushed between his body and metal, his face distorted as you glanced up. It struck you in this moment just how opposite these two men were. Curtis never once raised his voice in the time youve known him,but he had to raise above Erics squealing out in pain and anger. “When a person tells you no, It fucking mean no. You owe Y/N an apology.” He pulled Eric off the wall, and kicked at the back of his knees to drop him in front of you.

Curtis loomed over him, his arm still firmly twisted up between his shoulder blades, and growled in the mans ear. “Say it, or Im going to wrench it right off your body.”

“Im sorry!” you could see the effort it took Eric to say it, but Curtis clearly wasnt satisfied.

“AGAIN!” This time he really roared, Eric cowering a bit, and remorseful, he started again.

“Im sorry Y/N, I promise to never touch you again!” Curtis glances at you and nods that its okay, he had him firmly and you stepped forward, grasping the mans hair, and tipping his head back.

“Touch me ever again, or ANYONE on this train, your dead, do you hear me Eric? I will have no problem watching you die, either by my hand or another. Am. I. Fucking. CLEAR?”

“Yes! god yes, just let me go, it wont happen again.” Eric pleads, and you step away from Eric, and circle around to Curtis’s side. Shoving him harshly away, Eric rolled to a stand and clutched his arm, racing away as fast as he could. The coward, would probably make up some lie to cover face when he made it to your father to reset the arm. You stood next to Curtis, still fuming. Your fear from earlier forgotten, now you were just enraged watching where the coward disappeared.

“Hey, he aint gonna try messing with you again.” Curtis let his hand rest against your shoulder, looking down at you.

And thats what Curtis always did, he never expected more from you, not a thank you, not any kind of favor. He simply needed you to be safe, that was all he ever asked for from you. It was something that you could give him, he so desperately needed.

You lick your lip, they are still swollen from the kiss, and you blush just a bit at the memory of his mouth on yours. He tipped his head, letting his thumb brush lightly on your cheek and he moved to kiss your forehead.

“Thank you for that Y/N.” and you shifted in closer to press your face against his chest, your arms sliding around his torso, just holding him, memorizing this feeling right here, cause your first kiss, shook the words right out of you.

You didnt know what would happen in the days to come, but you knew that right now, things between you two changed, having finally crossed that line.

Tags- @jtargaryen18 @what-is-your-plan-today @official-and-unstable-satan @p8tn0lish @stardancerluv @princess-evans-addict @patzammit @that-damn-girl @curtisbbq @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @thatweirdwalangpake

#curtis everett #curtis everett x y/n #snowpiercer #amber writes #sweater writes #soft #trauma #fanfic #chris evans #chris evans fanfiction #curtis everett fanfiction

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rqs902 · 4 years

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yang chaowen is really a sensitive kid... man he brings out renyu's song's feels and then brings up ylq to relate to the lyrics bc he knows his friend isnt getting as much appreciation as himself. (this makes even more sense after ylq said he had been crying before ycw went onstage and ycw was comforting him... and then after ycw came off the stage, it was time for ylq to comfort him from crying TT) Their friendship is really something. But then ycw saying he just gets ripped for getting screentime for crying all the time ouch but i dont get the feeling that hes doing it for attention but maybe im becoming partly biased towards chaowen :)

Lol the fact that they focus so much on xzx and how hes favored by gjm but feels like it's unfair to be treated uncomfortably by other trainees as a result... all i can say is, what do u expect, of course the other kids will be salty, their lives are on the line and theyre getting nothing close to the attention you are, so unfortunately u cant win everything :(

Lol I see why everyone on twitter is annoyed at gjm... Jackson is literally trying to say something meaningful and mentor-like to su er and gjm literally interrupts with his own opinion.... jackson is like unable to finish his thought. and then when Cheng xiao is actually trying to give ma haowen advice, gjm just goes WELL I DISAGREE, THIS IS RENYU'S FAULT and everyone's like wtffffff???? And then he starts saying people can help Xinhai with his terrible dance (ouch) but renyu didnt help haowen sing and Huang enyu MY CHILD just goes: but dancing and singing are different....... and I'm just smh.... gjm really shouldnt act like he knows everything when hes the only mentor with zero actual relevant experience :( Poor renyu literally looks like hes about to burst into tears, ma haowen looks so sorry and appalled renyu's getting yelled at and none of the other mentors seem to agree with gjm lol

lets appreciate renyu’s song, its really good!!!

Lol this whole mentor segment is a mess but man chaowen and renyu won a lotta votesss ayyy

I think xue en seeing hwh as a pro rapper shows him humbling himself, since hes technically a more seasoned and popular idol performer

Cheng xiao fangirling over xue en I mean SAME hahahahahahaha awwwwww yzx being soooo genuinely happy for xue en is the cutest!!! Aw cto friendship and xue en crying :’) actually one thing ive noticed i feel like yzx seems like a genuinely kind and cheerful friend, maybe people are bashing him bc he pushed off some leaderly responsibilities to lin mo in the last round but maybe hes just not someone to take on a strict leader role (looks at aj from afo...) and realized that since lin mo has such experience and is really good at it, it makes sense to respect his experience and skill and let him take on that role. of course its unfortunate that means lin mo worked extra for less recognition, but i think it seems like yzx really respected and admired him so im hopeful what happened wasnt due to mean intentions

watching chen junhao feeling lost oh man :/ maybe he hadnt fully prepared himself for the idol life when first coming on this show. its unfortunate reality that in this kind of idol survival show, the focus is more on stage presence and face and performance, rather than the music itself. Hopefully he really feels that hes found a path forward through this performance. This is a really real way to present him but I'm sad theres not as much focus on li chenxu when this is hissss song

Man both the self composed songs are really good!! Mann them making this song a dance song is really hard to watch for li chenxu bc its makes it hard for him to shine at his own song which is sad :( also lzx's rap is questionable lol but cjh's vocal part in the middle part is so emotional, I hope he felt like he was able to express himself fully there

Lol does gjm not realize they didnt have a choice to not dance. Lollllll cheng xiao literally said they had too much to do and tried very hard but he didnt listen.

Aww jackson teaching them about team work :') o gosh I have PTSD about jin fan getting classified as a vocal now after uuu..... also not surprised the entire segment was about sxl and even the judging portion lol....

Oof Jin fan's voiceeee I love

Man why does Jin fan always get stuck in not dance songs ><

more appreciation for xu zhaohao vocals pls!!! imo sxl has a poor attitude :/ he doesnt perform calmly under pressure and isnt doing well at making a good atmosphere for practice

LOL why do i feel like lin mo is always saying "song" things hahahah hes really a kid

but mannn yan an just walking into the elevator is so oof

Aw duan xuyu is too nice... but I guess this is the leader in him coming out

Aw yan an immediately encouraging xikan when he lost the center to him

Lolll xikans little “heheh” when he won

Mannnn ngl even tho yan an leaves the show, I kinda wish he had a bigger role in this perf bc it's literally like his jam.... chinese style influenced dance.... I wish he had at least 1 memorable dance move, like I feel like Luo Joe already had one in the last perf and he has one again here (and hes very talented and he deserves recognition!) but yan an has yet to really show anything and im scared hes gonna just disappear soon :/

They all did so well tho!!! Truly a group of dancers. Really made me want to rewatch the whole thing immediately. altho the beginning I cant unsee the lin mo meme LOL

and xikan did really well!! His stage presence is real. And hes put effort into his facial expressions

Luo Joe being cute is iconic

Aw yan an cheering on lin mo when revealing his votes!!

Aw I'm surprised 100 ways kids didnt get more votes.... lol ngl i feel like this show is just randomly adding vote bonuses in for random reasons not prespecified for kids they like.... cough gjm yet again

but oo the next ep looks fun hahahha im excited for a happier ep thats not as stressful.

Ycw keeping it real 2020: "im not good at controlling emotions.... i hope if you want to cry or laugh do it loudly, dont care about what other people think"

ok so maybe im liking more new kids than i expected, but i think thats a good thing that the show is making them likable and some kids are able to stand out! honestly i realized I kinda can see why they eliminated so many to begin with. It's sad but also kinda nice tbh (ouch, i know) bc if they really got rid of the ones who have less skill, it makes it easier for the others who dont have to teach from zero (cough lin mo) And then those with skill get to have at least 3(?) stages, unlike qcyn where jin fan got eliminated after only doing 1 silly stage lol The skill level of the stages is also raised, like there's multiple groups of almost all people who are well qualified. im sure the kids are happy that they get to do more stages, im sure that means a lot to them.

At least on snzm they attempt to give most trainees a positive light and give screentime to more than just the top 10 trainees. and they allow someee time for vocals, dancers and rappers to get appreciation (even tho dancers are still dominating lol)

but yea honestly I disliked the judging on pdc2019 too tho so at least the judges here can be supportive... at times. it is SUPER biased and gjm is very vocal despite his lack of knowledge tho lol

it's so bad bc I feel like my standards for shows are so low at this point. my standards get lowered with every show I watch. It's like I guess the snzm songs are okay bc I hated the ones on afo more so at least the stages aren't thattt bad lol At least the rules/general setup aren't as terrible as they were on afo..... at least the camera time isnt as biased as it was on qcyn.... sigh the show isnt doing great, and itd be best if the show would help the tygers get more popular, but I guess its prob better than just doing nothing at star master lol.

qcyn was just painful to watch from "spirit of the knight" onward bc momo literally was buried, mistreated, disrespected and taken advantage of. at least on snzm he gets some screentime and positive recognition.....

tbh i like snzm, maybe thats an unpopular opinion, but at least there have been some really great stages, where the kids really get to shine. at least i can confidently say that bc of snzm, i have met some new kids who i will be sure to follow for new music moving forward :)

#rants

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