#where i just reblogged the first half of this poem point blank with the tags | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cost-of-chaos · 5 years

Text

All You Need Is Love (Chapter Six)

Thank you to the lovely @xgoingdownx for helping me out! Sorry for the wait, hope you all like this chapter, if you do, please like and reblog! If you wanna be tagged or just give me feedback my ask box is always open xx

Roger Taylor x OC

Words: 2.9K

Warnings: A little angsty?

Previous Chapters: Chapter One / Chapter Two / Chapter Three / Chapter Four / Chapter Five

After only a few hours of sleep, I awoke to a cold, empty room. I had spent the majority of the night tossing and turning and lost in my own depressing thoughts. I got out of the bed, I felt the effects of the restless night on my body. I had woken up sore all over, my eyes were dry and felt like sandpaper from the countless tears I’d shed, my throat was sore and my limbs ached. There were only a few things that made me feel better when I felt like this, I needed to get out of this stuffy room. I needed to feel fresh air on my skin, breathe in the cold air into my lungs and listen to leaves rustle in the wind, I needed to escape my mind and be one with nature. I bent over to slide some boots over my thick socks, and as I reached down I felt my back pop and crack all the way down my spine, if only it was that easy to release the discomfort in my heart.

I dug through my suitcase for the warmest thing I had packed and retrieved my cream cable knit sweater that I had accidentally stolen from my roommate from Ealing. I smiled to myself remembering the conversation that had taken place with Freddie when he saw me in it the first time.

“Veronica, darling, I’m not one to begrudge someone for expressing their own personal style… but you look like a sheep.” He had exclaimed before turning his back on me and rummaging through my wardrobe to find something more stylish to wear to the band practise he had invited me to. It had been only been a short time after I had met Roger that night in the bar and normally I wouldn’t have been so eager to accept the proposal to spend time with a guy I’d had a one night stand with. But after an afternoon of full of witty, flirtatious banter with Roger, we had a date planned for the next day and the rest was history.

When Roger finally saw the jumper, it was a rainy Sunday morning after we had moved into the flat together. I was making was a full fry up, dancing around to the record playing and he had walked in and told me I was the sexiest woman in the whole of London standing there wearing nothing but this jumper, a pair of knickers, rainbow socks and a paintbrush in my hair restraining my curls from cascading into my face. He had strode into the room and picked me up over his shoulder, walking me back to the bedroom with a giggle as I hit his back with a spatula. My ineffectual cries about our breakfast quickly faded away and it was the first of many meals that were burnt due to our infatuation with each other.

I blushed at the memory and felt a pang of hurt as I thought back to one of the wonderful times we had together. Freddie had been right, of course, the jumper was far too large for me, it went half way down my thighs and I had to roll the sleeves up so I could use my hands, but it was warm and cosy and still smelt like home so I didn’t really care if I looked like a farm animal today.

Before leaving the room, I scribbled a note for Freddie on the hotel branded stationery and threw my coat on, slinging my bag over my shoulder. I hastily walking out of the room that held such bad memories, memories that were repeating over and over in my head.

Once I made it to the bay of elevators, a panic swept me. What if I saw Roger? What if I saw any of the band? I didn’t want to talk to anyone, I didn’t want to see anyone, I just wanted to lose myself in a foreign country where no one knew me. I hesitantly pushed the down button and checked my wrist for the time, it was only seven, the feeling of panic which had been growing by the second instantly eased as I realised none of the boys would be up yet.

As soon as I walked out into the busy streets of Japan I felt better. Walking into the brisk cold morning air had woken me up, and as always, seeing the beauty of the world and observing everyone else running around in their busy morning routines made my problems seem less significant. Sure, I was single again and was about to be homeless but I’m still young, I have my whole life ahead of me, this will just be one of the turbulent moments that make life a bit interesting.

After half an hour of exploring small laneways with funky buildings lining them and petting cats that walked into my path, I found myself sitting on a metal bench along a river bank watching the world pass by, completely oblivious to my presence. I mentally kicked myself for not bringing my camera with me, but I had the next best thing to capture the scene unfolding in front of me. I dug around my handbag for my sketchbook and charcoal and finally found them tucked away, long forgotten in the business that has been my life recently.

While flipping through the pages to find a blank page, one page stuck out in a sea of sketches of people and scenery. I flipped back to the page that caught my eye and found messy biro notes scribbled all over the page. It was Rogers writing, he must have left me a note in here before I left for the US.

He had filled the page with words dedicated to me, love notes, notes saying how lucky we were and how much he’d miss me, he’d even penned a very long description about how much our fur baby, Lenny was going to miss me. Tears were pooling in my eyes and suddenly my new found self-assurance was dwindling. One particular poem wedged between a love heart and a messy drawing of a cat captivated my attention.

You’re my love, my life

The air that I breathe

You’re my soul, my happiness

The all that I need

You’re my world, my galaxy,

Even if we’re worlds apart,

We will never be far from the love we share,

the memories make

and the exciting future to come.

Ronnie, you’re my everything.

My eyes welled up once again. The words he had hastily scribbled on a blank page on my journal was the most beautiful thing I’d ever read, most heartfelt and meaningful. I just wished I had seen this before this whole mess. I wished it didn’t carry the tang of bitterness from the lies and unfaithfulness.

I ripped the page out of my journal and folded it neatly before throwing it into an inner pocket in my bag. I tried to bury the feeling which had started bubbling again as I looked up at the busy and diverse road, bustling in front of me and I began a quick sketch. As I sat there, with my charcoal floating across the paper in quick strokes I felt myself slowly become centred again. As I was putting the final details onto the page, my stomach let out a loud rumble. I checked my watch and was shocked to see it had been two hours since I left the hotel. I needed some food, I snapped my journal closed on the page. Stuffing it back into my bag before starting to make my way back to the hotel. Regretting my choice to race to the hotel last night instead of taking the time to change my money to Yen as I walked the surprisingly long walk back to the hotel, with smells of amazing, foreign and exotic foods filling my nose.

By the time I made it through the doors to the reception of the hotel, I was ravenous and too hungry to wait for room service. I decided to cut my losses and risk going to the buffet. As soon as I walked into the grand room, with gold chandeliers, antique mirrors and intricate red wallpaper I felt horribly underdressed.

“Veronica!” I heard from a group of people sat at the largest table in the room. I scanned the table and saw Brians unmistakable head of hair before spotting Deaky who was sitting beside him, he had the attention of everyone at the table. Deaky had obviously been the one who yelled my name alerting the whole room of my presence. Freddie turned around, with a sympathetic smile on his face,

“Ronnie, why don’t you have breakfast with us? We have plenty of room here!” He said, waving his arms around, pointing at all the seats that were free.

“I was just going to get a plate of food so I could go pack.” I said, quietly as I walked to the table, feeling uncomfortable with the amount of attention on me from the rest of the breakfast goers.

“You’re packing?” He said, much louder than he needed to with me standing so close next to him, I noticed a certain head of blonde hair whip around to face our direction, to listen to what was being said.

“I’m going back home Fred, thanks for letting me sleep in your bed last night, I’ll be out of your hair soon.” I said, almost whispering to him now, not that it mattered because he responded in the same volume as before,

“Darling if you’re going back home then you must have breakfast with us!” I half expected him to broadcast it so I was already watching Roger in my peripheral vision and watched as his mouth dropped with the news. Everything felt more real now my plans weren’t a secret, he knew now that I was leaving, that it was over.

“I...I’ll just get some food.” I said, already walking away from the table, I was no longer feeling very hungry but I couldn’t just go back to my room now. However much I loved Fred, I really wished he’d keep his head out of things that weren’t his business.

As I watched my bread slowly turn to toast as it crept along a conveyor belt under a bright orange light I felt a hand rest lightly against my back. I looked up to find Brian, looking very uncomfortable, he’d obviously heard about what happened last night.

“Ronnie… I”

“Bri, I’m really not in the mood for talking” I said forcibly, cutting him off. I picked my toast off of the conveyor belt before it had even dropped to the plate below and walked across the buffet to get butter and a knife.

I heard a frustrated sigh from Brian as he began walking back to the table and I felt a little guilty at my harshness, it wasn’t his fault, I didn’t have any right to be rude to him. I jogged to catch up to him before getting back to the table and whispered that I was sorry before shooting him a small smile. I found the perfect spot at the table, wedging myself between Freddie and Brian, but as far from Roger as I could sit. As I sat down on the plush antique chair, I glanced up the table towards Roger and noticed Roger shooting daggers down this end of the table. Typical, he’s the one that fucked up but he’s turned it on me.

As I cradled my coffee cup in my hands, and I chewed the last bite of my soggy toast and the boys around me chatted away happily. I couldn’t help but look at Roger one more time, one last time. His long blonde hair was sticking in all directions, mostly concealing his face as he stared at his bowl, swirling his cereal around in the milk aimlessly, without eating it.

He must have felt my eyes on him because he lifted his head, and looked straight to me, it was then when I noticed that his brow furrowed and his eyes glassy and bloodshot with large dark bags under them. By the looks of it, he hadn’t gotten any sleep after last night. Good. I knew it was spiteful and petty but it made me feel better seeing how bad he looked.

Time seemed to stop as I stared into his eyes across the table. Both of us were unblinking, with dancing eyes as we thought of the thousands of things we wanted to say to each other. A big part of me wanted to run over to him and stroke his face, brush his hair and tell him we were going to work it out. But I didn’t, I just sat there, glued to my chair as I imagined what I would be doing if I didn’t have quite as strong of a backbone.

“Excuse me, I need to go pack, have a good tour.” I said, unable to stop staring at Roger. I ripped my eyes off him once I finally managed to stand up, I gave the rest of the boys tight hugs. I hoped this wouldn’t be the last time we all spent time together, but I knew it probably would be. Sure Freddie and I would probably still see each other, but Brian and Deaky? We only became friends because of all the time I spent with Roger, and I knew the same thing would happen that happened after every other relationship I’ve had. I knew I’d lose all the friends that I made these past few years, they’d take their mates side in the breakup, leaving me not only mourning my partner but also friends and a whole life I’d built up.

As I walked away from the table, I heard a fight erupt from the table I’d just left. Voices raised, and I could hear Rogers accent grow thicker as his voice raised above the rest of them, putting a damper on the argument.

After a long flight delay and many glasses of gin at an airport bar, and one book by some American named Stephen King I’d picked up in New York and I finally touched down back down in London. After standing in the pouring rain for a cab for 10 minutes my clothes were soaked through, wonderful, the last thing I needed was to get sick on top of everything else.

I finally made it to the flat after a long cab ride and walk up the stairs to our top floor apartment. As soon as I opened the front door, I was blasted by cold air from the uninhabited rooms and felt my teeth start chattering. Memories of the warm and comforting flat are gone as I walked into the empty apartment, feeling more empty and alone than ever. I peeled my wet top off of my body and searched our coat rack, hoping that I hadn’t just left all my coats in the bedroom like I normally do, but I found it empty except for one jacket. Rogers fur coat draped over a coat hook at the front door. As I slipped the coat on, I buried my face into the soft brown fur collar and inhaled Rogers scent.

I raced around the tiny flat turning the radiators on before filling the kettle for a much-needed cuppa while the heating kicked in. After pouring the boiling water into my mug, I ran downstairs to our neighbour below us, Mrs Lancaster, hoping she wasn’t at bingo. I knocked on the door and I heard faint footsteps behind the door.

“Oh hello dear, you’re back! How was your time away?” She asked, with a sweet smile. She had been my favourite neighbour ever since we moved in and she baked us freshly baked banana bread as a moving in gift.

“Oh it was great!” I said, lying through my teeth. “Just don’t have any milk and I’m in need for a proper brew!” I held up my mug of black tea for emphasis, forcing a large smile on my face, I didn’t want to have to explain anything to her, I just needed a dash of milk.

After a few minutes of pleasantries, I was on my way back to my flat, my smile disappearing just as quickly as it arrived. As I got back to my flat, I was pleasantly surprised to feel the heating was already working. Walking into the living room, I sat cross-legged on the couch, reaching behind me for the thick blanket which was always draped over the back for late night cuddling. I sat on the couch, bundled up in a cocoon, sipping on my tea for what felt like hours. I gazed at the wall opposite me, at all the photos and drawings we had hung up over the years of our life together, remembering all of the good times we’d shared. The way the sun was poking through the clouds and coming through the window made the room look magical, the way dust particles floated in the golden light looked like fairy dust and I was captivated. Gold turned to pink and soon the only light that was coming into the room was from the streetlights.

Taglist: @perriwiinkle @hiyadarlingirl @asquiresofftime

#roger taylor x oc #roger taylor x reader #roger taylor #ben hardy as roger taylor #ben hardy! roger taylor #ben hardy!roger x reader #queen #fanfic #roger taylor fanfic #queen fanfiction #angst #heartbreak #japan #freddie mercury #brian may #john deacon

35 notes · View notes