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#which ill too prob finish tomorrow

evaxoxoblog · 2 months

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16/2/24

Hello literally non existent people (i'm pretty sure no one is seeing these posts which is quite comforting tbh). I just had the weirdest experience with my bsf. We haven't spoken in a few months because she has been ill. she has also been a bit possessive over various kpop groups we both like (its dumb ik, but she was just constantly trying to one-up me in everything, whether it was pinterest boards, comments on insta posts, etc, (this didn't really bother me, but the next bit did) and recently she unfollowed me on literally every social media platform you could think of.) it was really fking weird. we met up today to talk about it and I kind of (?) have all my questions answered. i think we are on good terms and I think I handled it well. i won't go into the details because its personal, and I'm kind of scared she would see this even though she doesn't have tumblr lol, but I think I'm just gonna deal with it as it happens.

i'm meeting up with my other friends tomorrow and we are going to watch a horror film (that's what we always do together) and open the Christmas presents we got for each other, which we intended to give around xmas but we didn't make plans back then lmao. we also just gossip a lot bc we are all in different friendship groups so we can just dump everything to each other and it doesn't really matter. i love hanging out with them, though we only manage to meet up every two months haha.

another funny thing that happened was i got a voicemail notification from an unknown number. it was a recording of the felix 'wakey wakey' meme and I was actually terrified bc either my friend was pranking me or someone was stalking me haha. luckily it was the former option haha. she better prepare herself lol. i think I will send her a chan one bc he's her bias.

i have been listening to so much p1harmony recently, as well as skz. i love them both smmmmmm. i really want to get the Killin It album but I hate spending a lot of money at a time, so I'll wait a few months. currently watching the waterpark ep. of run bts rn which is banging as always. idk if I've already mentioned it but I really recommend guccitae.

back to school in three days, which I'm not mad about as I'm alright at school and I like seeing my friends. i started reading the book by Meiko Kawakami which is so good. I've almost finished my journal which feels weird too, but I'm excited. i got a new notebook for Christmas which will prob be my next one; exciting.

x eva

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itchybutts22 · 1 year

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Just when I had thought of a title, I forgot it. Then remembered but didn’t change it anyway.

Nothing new there. Same thing happened with the title of this blog. I had a great idea for a name and then just couldn't remember it. I didn't want to put off starting this until I remembered the name because who knows if I ever would. Anyway, back to sulking about how my life will never be amazing and I will never be anything amazing. It's such a dumb thing to be upset about. I mean yeah, it's because the things you want aren't reality, duh. Everyone else seems to get that and not be upset by it. I just wish I didn't always want more than what I have. Why isn't what I have enough? I seem to always frame it as "If I just had x,y,z, I would feel better. I would be a little better. If I had better clothes, I would feel better about myself." but I mean, honestly, none of that stuff matters. I mean, who cares what someone is wearing? (unless it's something like pasties and an ill-fitting thong or perhaps a birthday suit - just keep those inside pls). I just don't know a way to feel better about myself. I'll never have a beautiful face, or skin for that matter (I mean, I do have skin, it's just not nice) - it just isn't in the cards for me. That was out of my hands before I was ever made. Actually, that reminds me - my sister and I will be getting shirts for christmas that say "I exist without my consent" (oh, also, shit, that was the title I was forgetting!) and when I first saw that shirt I just thought damn literally no one ever has given consent to being born. Every single thing that's ever walked this Earth was just sloppily squished out into the world probably covered in poop and blood with a "yo try not to die" and that's that. I mean, I feel like that's kind of shitty. I should damn well hope that after all this is over, there's some kind of "yay, you made it "x" minutes/hours/days!" party but, probs not, with my luck. I'm still just struggling with how hard it is for me to start anything. Like, just Nike it up and go! But, I'm still afraid of failure or wasting time and resources... even though logically, I know the only way to get better or get anything done is to JUST DO IT, YA DINGUS. I had to add that last bit in so it didn't sound like a product endorsement. Anyway, I'm still trying. It's a weird process for me to start new things or change habits, it's so damn slow. Infuriatingly so. First, I won't think about it often at all. Then I start to remember once in a while. Then maybe every other day. Then every day. and then finally I might start it. But the whole process takes basically weeks to months, which I mean, just isn't helpful. I guess better late than never but jeeze, self. Come on. Anywhoo, I have some terrible studying to do for an exam tomorrow so I better get to it. I absolutely can't wait to be done with my degree because honestly, fuuuuuuck our current education system. Fuck it with a cactus covered in honey and fire ants, each ant also carrying tiny swords and maybe having chlamydia. It is all kinds of messed up and way, way too expensive. Plus it takes absolutely forever to finish (for me) because I can't handle as much as a "normie" lmao. I guess my brain is just over learning new things and I gotta whip it to try and get anything done. Until next time

#depression #anxiety #existence #existential depression

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june-again · 3 years

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HEYOOOO i'm back for a bit

im prob not going to be active this summer because i have a lot going on, but ill check in when i can!

i hope youre doing okay w the heat wave. i am absolutely dying rn, it was A HUNDRED DEGREES ASDFGHJKL. my fan has been on nonstop. the only reason im able to get through this is because i went camping during a heat wave once (like 90s all weekend) and our campsite didnt even have shade. so now all other heat waves pale in comparison to that time lol, im just grateful i get to stay inside w my fans. but it sucks not having an ac, we really need to get one soon.

do you have any summer plans?

i might travel to the east coast to visit my aunts family for a while, and im also taking this sports marketing course over the summer so i can get cte credits. im about to start act/sat prep too so thats going to be sooooo much fuuunnn (no its not, rip me). and i gotta start learning stuff for ib so im not completely lost when i start 10th grade lol.

also do you have any completed hq smau recommendations??

have you watched any new anime? i finally finished kuroko no basuke (its so good omg) and the promised neverland (it was good, but a lot of plot holes, imma read the manga to get the full story). now im watching banana fish (a lot of people are dying, im scared to get attached).

i went on a camping trip last weekend and they were playing volleyball, i apparently dont suck as much i thought i did. but i also learned that learning about sports from animes does not translate into being good at the sport lol. ik all about volleyball and basketball now and really want to play it but i have no skillz rip.

sorry for all the questions, idk when ill be back so i wanted to chat a lil.

sending the best vibes your way, darling <3

OKAY THAT'S FINE !! I'M SO HAPPY YOU TOOK THE TIME TO STOP BY YOU'RE WONDERFUL (and, yeah, same, life b things)

YEAHHH THE HEATWAVEEE it's going to be 41 C today whicH IS LIKE 105 F??? AND IT'LL BE HOTTER TOMORROW? anyways not vibing i can't survive over 20 C pls

ooh yeah the increased tolerence to hEAT AHHA hopefully i'll be better at surviving after this. but rn it is torture and we don't have an ac either pls we live in a place where we don't do heat here

SUMMER PLANS? well uh i'm being forced to help my mom move her mother out and into our house which is going to take up most of july -- OTHERWISE i would already have a job because your girl wants money and skills and experience. i also wanna take a course over the summer if the teACHER EVER EMAILS ME BACK??

bro yeah online courses (esp over the summer) are just PAIN because ?? motivation? we don't know her. UNLESS YOU'RE INTERESTED IN THEM. but somehow even then it's a drag.

oh yeah i don't read a lot of smaus because i find it to be sort of glitchy on my phone and i don't do a lot of reading from my laptop DSHWHAH IF I HAD I WOULD BE DUMPING THEM RIGHT HERE BUT NOTHING IS COMING TO MIND UGHJFg

pls i'm so bad at actually watchings things, BUT i just finished tpn too !! i really enjoyed it, it felt v fast paced and the characters and writing were great. it did feel a bit like there were things missing, though, yeah -- i don't plan to watch the newer seasons because A, they're not on netflix, and B, i'm lazy and can't finish shows :D

OH NO BANANA FISH I HAVEN'T SEEN IT BUT I THINK IT TRAUMATIZED MY FRIEND BECAUSE OF ALL THE PAIN SDHAHS

volleyball is genuinely so much fun, and i wish i didn't quit because i was intimidated by the commitment because it's just. a really cool sport. and i was, like, moderately good at it while i was on the team. or the other teams just sucked. klfsldfmalkfsd were you ever on any sports teams?

how to convey *clenches fists* how much i appreciate you coming and talking to me grrr ILY AND THANK YOUU YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL AND I HOPE YOUR SUMMER IS GOING WELL SO FAR

#☆— you & myself.#🐉— mocha

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dromaeo-sauridae · 3 years

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OFF anon o-o

sooo. ive entered the room... i do not like it. the whole bunch of teddy bears in the hallway scared me so bad i quit the game panicking (i didnt lose any progress dw) but it is. bad. in a good way. i ahate it but its cool as hell. i am so nervous but i can feel the ending coming n im super exited!!

also found out that zacharlie's permanently in zone 0? which. ive never gone back there before now so thats nice lol. and i fought sucre(?) in the basement there n it made me and zacharlie sad :(

(i feel extra bad bc i sort of cheesed it and just. kept on muting her so she couldnt fight back)

my only concern is that im on chapter 3 of the room and im messed up a few questions and they say "come back tomorrow"? do i have to wait for the date to change on my computer or is there a story thing i can do (if its the former ill prob just manually do it im having too much fun to wait)

hello mate!! 👀👀👀👀 you are so close to finishing im so excited for you!!!!! also damn nice it took me two tries to defeat her cuz i wasnt prepared the first time </3

i messed up one of the questions and i dont believe it hampers your progress at all, i think you can just keep going. o7 off anon, the room is so fucking confusing it made me want to punch the computer

#people talking to me #off anon #YOU ARE SO CLOSE!!! I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!!!

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beenjen · 4 years

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Back to my low! I’m actually surprised, because while I’m still fasting my 16/8 or 18/6 grind, I’ve gone back to eating 2 full meals a day. I was struggling on just a smoothie and dinner, I wasn’t satisfied, was moody, and I feel SO MUCH BETTER NOW. Then to lose weight as well is just encouraging that this is more what my body needs? So I’ve been loading it up with veg for my 50% and feel so full and sated.

I also updated my weight monitoring to a June calendar, so that my new goal of 150s is easier to track by end of month. I prob mixed up some weights and exercises, but this is the gist

The week finished off strong, in that it’s over? Work is still a pain in my behind, but you know what? I have a job. A good job. One I mostly enjoy, with great co-workers. Good benefits. Blah blah blah so this too shall pass. I do go in on the 30th for some training I believe I mentioned, and again to cover the clinic 7/1, and so many of my regulars are coming in, even though it’s technically a telephone clinic, to see me, have procedures, etc. It feels good to be able to offer these services again though I’m still leery about getting back to the grind. We will be required to wear a mask and face shield for in person encounters, and you really can’t do much more than that aside from washing your hands and changing your clothes when you get home - or in my situation, stripping down to the unmentionables in the garage and then running to the shower. Full return to work is still up in the air.

Too, we have pharmacy residents that specialize in our field that come work with us for 2 years and today was their last day. These chicks became such a part of my day to day, we instant messaged and texted, know what’s going on in our families, and I am so happy they are moving to the next chapter, but will miss them terribly. Those tricks bought me this mug and put it on my desk for my return, and I am in love with it and just so flattered 💚

Too, it’s an apt description if I ever saw one 😂😂

In other news, Lilith is still loving on kitty. Little Chihuahua has settled in and everyone is growing on each other - as in our dog and one of our cats now tolerate him

The biggest thing to happen, is that my youngest nephews wedding is this weekend. Chris is tapped for the photography and our plan was to leave the kids with the in-laws, do all the picture moments and leave when we could. Then my nephew messaged me ‘did you get the gray pants for Jamis?’ And I remembered, and I cannot believe I forgot this, but he asked if Jamis could be the Bible boy almost a year ago. So amazon prime order later and we have his duds, and if we are both going and Jamis is too, There’s no sense in separating Lilith.... sigh. So we have worked out an arrangement in which we will have the kids in and out in as little time as possible, get some family shots, then they will leave with my parents while Chris and I finish photos and then leave ourselves.

This is such a shit time for a wedding, and I completely understand wanting to go ahead, but I think I would personally just have a small ceremony then a big ass party later, but that’s just me. Not to mention my oldest nephews wife has fallen ill this week and was tested for Covid with her results inconclusive one way or the other, and they and their daughter have been quarantined for the next 2 weeks - out the best man and out the flower girl. Then mom compromised with her chemo, it’s just a scary time for a gathering - though it is a smaller wedding at least. I feel like we have to be there and it just kind of sucks. Too, there will be cake and I’m not sure how this ole gal will do faced with such temptation.... though one slice isn’t the end of the world....

Last news is best - wait for it..... tomorrow morning I get to go, in person, to a yoga class!!! It is outside, with ample spacing, masks in place until you’re seated, but it’s so exciting to have that chance and I’m VERY EXCITED. Also, it’s a 90 minute class and they have only been offering 60 min livestream, so I am amped for some deeper stretching and heat.

You win some you lose some? Xx

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tellmesomethinggg · 4 years

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****

linking this here bc it was technically a journal? i just don’t want it on my notes anymore and if i ever (likely not to) want to re-read for whatever reason. please note that i knew people would read this so things are censored and are the basic version. also there was a switch at one point from **** to chris because i didn’t want things to be read

(for later when i got time lmao)

Matt is a piece of shit that just wants to fuck -Chloe

well fuck

here goes nothing

the plan: don’t get drunk bc i got shit to do early next morning and ill tell him tomorrow when i do get drunk. spoiler alert that didn’t work

Gaby (coles gf) came too btw

so i had a smirnoff ice and said no more than two shots after so id be buzzed but not fully drunk (i ended up having three and was very much drunk)

me jon and gaby we’re talking about guys and i mentioned something about liking a guy or some shit and gaby looks at matt and then me and confirms it with me. then she tells me that apparently when she met me and a few other friends at the beach last quarter, that she predicted the two of us would end up together and told cole this. im like wtf how and she claims she’s psychic lol

later, Matt and i are on the sack and he looks at me and goes do you like me and im thinking well fuck so i say yes and he’s like well shit sorry but (and then i forgot exactly what he said) something along the lines of it’s not mutual or it’s not the right timing (i forgot okay) and then he gets up after a bit to go to the bathroom (I’m pretty sure cole went out too) and then me gaby and Jon have a chisme session and they think that he does like me but whatever

so the guys come back and at this point i really need to pee again so matt offers to take me and we start talking and he’s all, oh im sorry if i led you on and shit and im like it’s alright ill get over it, it just might be a bit awkward for me for a bit. but then on our way back from the bathroom he asks me , do you wanna at least kiss your crush at least one time and im like uhh yeah so he kisses me and then we start talking but i forgot about what and im kinda dizzy so he says, oh let’s sit on the couches for a bit before we go back, so we do and somehow we kiss again and then start making out

and at this point im like bitch there’s no way you don’t like me like why would you do that if you didn’t

so we finally go back and it’s been some time so the rest of em are obviously curious

matt goes with cole to the bathroom again and the three of us have a chisme session otra vez and they’re like yeah he fucking likes you he’s prob just scared bc of his last relationship

cole comes back in and basically backs up their side based on his convo he just had with matt

and so it’s decided that we’ll both sleep on the sack, Jon sleeps on his bed and the other two together in coles bed

he comes back and we all “go to sleep” but I push for him to hold me like he usually does whenever we sleep together and around like 2,3 am we both start making out again and just like uhhhh

also we’re both very much drunk but of course i tend to remember things whenever ive gotten drunk, however, he did not and so now we gotta talk and figure shit out and go from there

also im not telling Emilou or Hanna yet until we figure things out so

yeah

fuck

alrighty, so after last night, ive decided to do absolutely nothing about it and decided to just let things play out the way things do. i don’t wanna say something and ruin our friendship that we have bc i trust him a lot and like hanging out with him, so, i guess the end of this note for now, unless the situation changes anytime soon

Can Tim see what I write on this? -Chloe

Yes -Janet

Hi Tim!

-Chloe

Tim pls respond.

-Chloe

Hi Chloe! Sorry I have been busy at home LOL

He responded I’m so happy!

-Chloe

FYI im just going to add things at the top of the note so that its easiwr to see stuff when i add it bc then otherwise youd have to scroll a ton

and I’m dating shit so i know when I wrote stuff and my memory and yeahhh

FEB 15 1 pm

chillin in alp so lets get this chisme

alrighty so last night i stayed the night in pratts but it wasnt just me so calmate, it was me and jon bc long story short i was too lazy/dizzy to get up and jons roommate had her bf over. basically we both shared the bed, not a lot of physical contact but whateva

brb

anyways, there was also one point where he was watching a movie from his childhood and idk what tf it was but he was shocked that i havent seen those movies, so apparently now im gonna watch them so i told him for payback we gotta watch disney movies lmao

oh also! i fucking got back to my room and took a shower to get ready for class, and when hanna gets back from class shes all like oh you slept in HiS rOoM huh and i was like uhhh yeah and told her the truth like i was too lazy and dizzy to get up and then she didnt really say anything but uhhhh yikes

and then i mentioned this to emilou later when we were walking to class and shes like yeah idk why she did that that was weird and i was thinking like thank God she doesnt think the same as hanna bc shes also slept in his room on the bean bag a few times

FEB 14 2pm

heyyy its valentines day and guess whos still single and workinggg

so uhhh last night, around 1, both me and pratt finished our shit (hw and studying) and im wide awake so im like hey, brooklyn 99? (because i got him into the show and i love rewatching the show bc its sooo good) and hes down so we start watching in his room. were both on his bed but were sitting (for the tie being) and eventually i decide to lay down and use one of his pillows but its the flat pillow so i attempt to steal his other one, which he protests and we lowkey wrestle over it and eventually i fail ugh and i fall over in frustration and land my head on his knee and then just quit and stay there, but get this, he just deals with it and lays on top of me, like his head is on my side. granted we both also have pillows so like his pillow is in between me and him and same for me but like ughhh

and eventually i fall asleep for like an episode (?) and wake up right before 3 am, and then decide hey sleep sounds important bc i have an 8 am and so does he, so i sit up but im too lazy to get up right away so i sit and go through twitter and shit so chris just lays down with his head on my leg and i set my arm down on his chest and he falls asleep for a few minutes and then i finish going through my social media and every part of me doesnt wanna move, but im also in a position that would be uncomfortable to fall asleep in so i wake him up and then go back to my room

oh and the other thing i forgot was that for a good couple hours we were texting and joking around and yeahhh

i feel like im reading a lot into what happens but at the same time, like i doubt id be this comfortable doing shit with guys like this and idk about him, but like sometimes i wonder you know?

also, saturday night, as far as i know, its just me and him going to the basketball game bc idk who else is going (eye emoji insert here bc im on my computer lmao) so we'll see what happens

FEB 10 11am

okay soooo last night,

the plan was to get buzzed, just me and matt and watch Brooklyn 9-9 but then Anthony and emilou joined us so never mind. after a bit, Anthony leaves so he can answer a phone call and pratt offers me shot #1 and not emilou (she’s laying on the bean bag, I’m on his roommates bed chillin behind her so she can’t see what’s up)

we take two and im slightly buzzed but i think “hey lets see how much we can take before she notices” and he’s down so uhhh let’s get this

later we have to include Anthony and he’s down to see how much we can take and he just lets us continue, i get to 4 shots and he finishes the bottle so i can’t have a 5th

brb im gonna go eat with him

okay im back now...

anyways were both pretty out of it, emilou still hasnt noticed and anthony finds this all funny i assume and so do i , and eventually she finds out and then the two of them leave i guess around 2 am and the two of us are both on the bean bag and were both tired and drunk and drunk me like petting his hair and apparently holding his hand and well yeah i kinda hate drunk me bc if that wasnt obvious enough lmao :/

continuin, we basically end up cuddled together most of the night until we both kind of sober up hella early in the morning and kind of separate a bit

and so in the morning guess who brought it uppp and i at least have an excuse that i was drunk and not thinking and just kinda doing whatever drunk me wanted to do (but omggg his hair is so fucking nice to play with omg) anyways imma just die real quick bc idk what happens now

also since no one else was in the room literally no one else knows about this and i think were keeping it that way bc lets be honest if anyone found out about that i think id be screwed for secret keeping and then well yeah

FEB 8 1AM

i remembered:

sunday 2-3

i forgot this happened but before I ended up in chris’s room i was chillin upstairs watching tv and then he came out on the phone with some one and long story short he said something on the phone to his friend along the lines of “you’re gonna have me in your life for a long time” and when he was saying that i was looking at him bc soy chismosa and i was curious and he winked at me and I died

Monday 2-4

so the other thing that happened was I had lunch/dinner with him before my writing class and no recuerdo que decimos, but uhhhh yeah

i like hanging out with him

also, just got back from his room and am more convinced that he may not like me but actually just sees me as a friend but at the same time maybe he does but IDK

i hate feelings and it’d be so much easier if i didn’t have them sometimes lmaooo

FEB 7 5-7 PM

so im currently in the room rn so im gonna try to make this as chronological as possible

saturday 2-2

alrighty so mind you this is the day ive volunteered with ship and have spent the whole day there, (i dont remember why i thought this was relevant :/)

so saturday night, i go to work in his room around 8 (?) so i can work on my essay and finish my shit bc he has a bean bag thats hella comfy to work on

andd so later on, jocelyn comes in to watch anime with him and then after i finish we all decide to watch gabriel iglesias and ended up squishing together on the bean bag with me in the middle of the two of them

and so were all chillin there, laughing whatever and at one point chris fucking pratt puts his head on my shoulder for a little bit and i dIeDddd

and eventually i fall asleep when we start watching emperors new groove and mind you im fucking next to chris pratt like uhhhh my GOD

so i wake up once the movies over and then go to the bathroom and come back and by then he has taken over the whole bean bag and im sad that i cant just get back and go back to sleep so i go back to my room

(hanna doesnt know what time i get back i think and im pretty sure it was around4 am) (emilous also not here bc she went home for the weekend)

sunday 2-3

so i decide hey i was productive yesterday and decide to return to his room to work on shit and try to get as much done before work in theevening

i finish around 1/2? and then i tell him im bored and i wanna do something before work but idk what so he says lets go to the rec room and its just the two of us and its chillin and he puts me on his story playing pool lmao

and then i go to work :(

but then THEN later after work i go for a run and end up back in his room and theres a couple other people there and so were all chilling (mind you this is around midnight)

and somehow i end up falling asleep on the bean bag next to this girl jon from my hall and (this is a secret in a secret) but i hear her get up at one point and then chris pratt then joins me and during the night im tossing and turning and leaning on him a bit (ughhhh i died a shit ton)

monday 2-4

so in the morning around 720 or so i wake up pay dumb and am like oh whend you get here and he explains and then hes like yeah i dont really know the girl who slept in my bed (one of jons friends) and i figured since im more comfortable with you id just move here (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck me upppp) [please note that when i say fuck me up i dont mean that type of fuck]

alrighty thats what i remember that i havent told you, and then the other bit from the screen record was tuesday and now its thursday and here i am in guess whos room again

possibly staying the night lmao

but jons also here so its not like im staying the night staying the night

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dancingkirby · 5 years

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In which Bolin plays with toys and Eska fails at flirting

I’m going to have to think up a title for this story soon. I was thinking maybe “Into Open Waters.”

“How dare she? How dare she?”

Eska paced around the room, trying her hardest to keep her voice low so as not to disturb Kinalik. The stress of the previous sleepless night, their escape in the wee hours, the sheer physical effort required to waterbend all the way to Republic City with a toddler and luggage in tow, the energy required to interact with people in a strange place…all of it was consuming her.

She collapsed in a chair, her body shaking and angry tears streaming down her face, which made her feel all the worse; like she was no more mature than her daughter.

Did their courtiers think that the twins did not hear the snickers and whispers of “half breed?” And yesterday…they had all looked at Kinalik like she was a monster. They felt that their only option was to get her out of there.

“I was trying to explain, but she wouldn’t listen!” she moaned to her brother.

“Perhaps she felt the same about you,” Desna offered cautiously.

“Perhaps,” Eska muttered, making an enormous effort to control her crying. “I have no harsh feelings towards our cousin’s significant other; she is not nearly as uncouth as the others. I was just…trying so hard not to cry in front of them that I forgot to thank her. People only seem to care about what I do incorrectly; not what I do the appropriate way. Yes, I know you are an exception, brother,” she hastily added to ward off his protests. She furiously scrubbed the tears away.

“I recommend that we go to sleep right now and ponder the matter further in the morning,” Desna said.

“Yes…that would probably be wise.”

Eska was worried that she’d have problems falling asleep like she often did in locations that weren’t home. However, the rhythm of Kinalik’s breathing soothed her, and the trio was soon huddled together in a deep slumber.

When Eska woke up who-knows-how-late in the morning, her back was throbbing in pain. She supposed it was to be expected with all the exercise and lifting that she did yesterday. Even attempting to roll over caused her to moan. Thankfully, Desna had already awoken, and was ready with the bowl of water. He and Eska silently healed each other, then Eska also healed Kinalik, who was uninjured but wanted to do what the grownups were doing. It didn’t get rid of all the pain, but reduced it enough to allow her to perform the usual morning functions and help Kinalik with hers.

When they got downstairs to the breakfast room, Korra was sitting there alone. She had finished her own meal, but there was still a pot of tea and a plate of steamed buns filled with bean paste on the table. Eska was impressed to see that they’d remembered about Kinalik’s noodles, and that the child’s chair had a pile of cushions on it in lieu of a booster seat.

“Asami’s in the shower,” Korra said in response to their unspoken query. “She likes to fiddle around in her workshop first thing in the morning when she’s feeling upset.”

Even Eska could tell that the last few words were pointed. “Hm,” was all she could trust herself to say in response as she grabbed a bun.

“Does she eat anything else?” Korra asked, referring to Kinalik. That was a somewhat safer topic, at least.

“Rice. Eggs. Apples peeled and cut to slices exactly ¼ inch thick. Arctic hen. Some types of fish; she seems to change her mind about exactly which types by the day,” Eska answered. She stopped to think. What else was there?

“We have been having modest success in getting her to eat kelp,” Desna reminded.

“Oh yes. The first time she ate that was a triumphant occasion indeed. And before you ask, cousin, we do give her a daily multivitamin.”

“I wasn’t going to ask,” Korra said quickly. She took a sip of her tea and said, “I wonder if she’d like Narook’s? They have a kid’s menu.”

“Is it noisy?”

“Dinner can be…lunch is usually quieter.”

“We will consider it.”

They were spared from doing further chatting for the moment by Asami entering the room, fully dressed but with a towel wrapped around her head. Korra looked at Eska expectantly.

Eska supposed that this was her cue to apologize. Damn it. She’d never cared about the feelings of anyone outside of her family before.

“I’msorry,” she mumbled while looking down at her hands. This seemed to satisfy the requirements for now.

“It’s okay,” Asami said. “I know you must have been under a lot of stress. Now, is this enough food for you? We could have the cook make something hot…”

“This is sufficient,” Desna assured her.

Asami sat down as well and got her own breakfast, and apparently decided that it would be best to get right to the point.

“So…Korra said that you were concerned about Kinalik’s safety…”

“That is one way to phrase it.”

“So exactly how deep into hiding did you want to go?”

Good question.

“We hadn’t thought things through that far yet,” Desna admitted. “All we were hoping for was to buy a few days of time to strategize. That was why we chose not to stay at a hotel.”

“Simply arriving at this destination was the main objective. They will discover our location sooner or later, but I doubt that they would take our lives here. Nevertheless, we should take precautions,” Eska added.

Korra and Asami stopped to think, and then Korra said, “Well, you do have one thing going for you. You’re fairly obscure. Probably all that most people in Republic City know about you is that you’re those creepy twins.”

Eska clenched her jaw, and willed the angry words ready to spring from her back down her throat. She didn’t want another argument to start so quickly. Desna appeared to be having a similar struggle, but was able to state in an even tone, “We do like our privacy.”

While they had been talking, Kinalik had finished her noodles and was getting bored.

“Down!” she commanded. Eska rose to help her off the cushions, and sat back down with her daughter in her lap.

“And that’s another thing,” Asami said. “I didn’t even know of Kinalik’s existence until yesterday, and I don’t think Korra did either.”

“They may have mailed something,” Korra said. “But I was kind of distracted at the time.”

“We did air a birth announcement on the radio,” Eska remarked. Granted, it had run only once. At 6 AM. Neither the twins nor their advisors had wanted to call much attention to it.

“Well, anyway, if all that the general public knows about you is that you’re twins, we’d want to make you look as unalike as possible. Plus, the weather’s much too warm right now for your regular wardrobes. We’ll need to shop for new clothes, and one of you might have to cut your hair.”

Asami looked over at Desna, but Eska quickly said, “I’ll do it.” Desna had done so much for her; it was only fair that she should be the one to make this sacrifice.

“I have to go get the rest of my stuff this morning, but…hold on, let me write this down,” Korra said.” She retrieved a notebook and pencil from a side table.

“Asami, could you take them downtown this afternoon? I’ll probably want to rest, and you’re the one with the style sense. And um…I still can’t drive that well.”

“Sure, but maybe one at a time? Whoever is after them would be looking for twins.”

“No prob. Desna, you okay with waiting until tomorrow?”

“Whatever you think is best,” Desna answered, albeit apparently with some unease about them being separated. The twins squeezed hands under the table.

“Bolin might want to join us,” Asami remarked. “You know how he is about makeovers.”

“Oh, yeah, whoops, I forgot about Bolin. And we were going to do a proper introduction today.”

“I wonder…” Asami trailed off as Korra scribbled away.

“Hm?”

“I was just thinking about how to make all this more pleasant for Kinalik. I think I have an idea. You go over to Air Temple Island. I can take care of arranging things.”

“’Kay, love you.”

They kissed. Eska was relieved. All of the talking had been making her dizzy.

After Korra had finally departed, Asami got Eska, Desna, and Kinalik situated in the living room. Unlike the more formal parlor they’d seen on the tour yesterday, this room was stocked with comfortable furniture, which was a blessing for Eska’s back. It was decorated with plush carpeting, wooden paneling, several paintings, and a tall bookcase in the corner. Eska made a beeline for the latter and thumbed through the selection.

While Eska was busy with her browsing, Asami used one of the mansion’s many phones to call Bolin.

“So what do you think about coming over here shortly? Makeovers may be involved.”

Eska could hear Bolin’s shriek of joy from clear across the room. Asami had to hold the receiver at arm’s length until he calmed down.

“I take it that’s a yes? Okay, what time? Yeah, I think we can do that. So see you…oh? What is it?”

She listened for a few seconds, then said, “Well, I’ll ask them,” and covered the receiver with her hand.

“Eska, Desna, Bolin says that Opal wants to come meet you. Is that okay?”

Eska was intrigued in spite of herself. She wanted to see just what sort of powerful woman had managed to ensnare her ex’s heart.

“It is all right with me. Desna?”

“Me as well.”

“Great!” exclaimed Asami. She turned back to the receiver and said, “That’s a yes from both of them. See you in a few, then? All right. No, Pabu had better stay at your apartment this time. Bye.”

She hung up the phone, then left the room, saying vaguely that she had to “get things ready.”

Eska, in the meantime, had found several recent issues of Republic City Style. She had first encountered this publication in the storage room of the library back home, and knew that it was trash, but had been unable to stop reading these chronicles of uncivilized famous people and their clothing. And it definitely wasn’t because she was jealous of them and their hedonistic lives! No, if ever asked, she would claim that it was simply anthropological studies.

“All right, let’s see who Ginger is dating now,” she murmured as she sat down to look at the pictures with Kinalik.

“May I have one?” Desna asked.

“You may.”

They were deeply engrossed in their reading material, with occasional snorts of incredulity from the twins and squeals of “Pretty!” from Kinalik, when they heard something being hauled down the stairs and dragged into the living room.

“I found that box of t-o-y-s that I was telling you about yesterday!” Asami said as she beamed. She had removed her towel, and looked no worse for wear from the exertion. Eska wished that she could look that put-together.

“So I was thinking that Bolin could help Kinalik look through these, and that maybe she would warm up to him more if she associated him with a positive thing like that.”

Kinalik perked up at the mention of her name. Eska thought that this was actually a clever idea, and wished that she could have thought of that herself.

“Shall we see what is contained in here?” Eska asked Kinalik. Her daughter didn’t answer verbally, but appeared happy for the first time since they’d left the palace.

As Asami left to get some scissors with which to open the box, the doorbell rang. The door was opened shortly thereafter, presumably by the butler…what was his name again?

“We have arrived!” Bolin announced as he bounded into the living room, followed closely behind by Opal. “And…hey neat, what’s that?” He gestured at the box.

Asami explained her idea to him as Kinalik removed the first item from the box: a stuffed animal in the form of a cat-owl.

“Great, sounds great!” Bolin enthused as made to sit down right next to Kinalik, then caught himself in time and picked a spot a respectful couple of feet away.

Asami had certainly never been lacking in any amusement as a child; Eska felt a twinge when she remembered how her own toys had been taken away when she wasn’t too much older than Kinalik. There were stuffed animals of all sorts (yes, including a turtleduck and a koala otter), dolls, and Satomobile models. Thankfully, nothing was in that box that would pose a choking hazard; Eska presumed that Kinalik was smart enough not to put toys in her mouth, but one never knew for sure.

Kinalik was insistent on doing the unpacking herself, and kept most of the toys to herself, but every so often she would shyly offer one to Bolin.

“Thank you!” he exclaimed at her latest offering of a stuffed animal that was so worn that Eska couldn’t even tell what it was supposed to be. “Do you wanna know something, Kinalik? I don’t remember what toys I had when I was your age. I wish I did. So this is really as exciting for me as it is for you!”

Kinalik scrunched her nose, and either because she didn’t know how to respond or didn’t have the words, settled for “Okay.” But she did hand over a toy truck to him.

“Oh, she’s just adorable!” said Opal, which slightly startled Eska because she’d been so focused on the scene across the room. She was seated at the opposite end of the couch from the twins.

“Yes,” Eska answered. She and Desna switched places so that there would be no one between Eska and Opal. Then she remembered.

“I have on my possession a copy of Kinalik’s birth certificate,” Eska stated as she took the piece of paper out of her pocket. “It contains proof that Bolin was not being unfaithful to you. Not with me, at least.”

Opal didn’t move to take it.

“It’s okay, I believe you. Really,” she said.

It was just that easy? Eska had been anticipating a more frosty reception.

“So what do you think? Can we be friends?” Opal asked as she smiled gently. She extended her hand, and Eska forced herself to make eye contact while tentatively reaching her arm out as well. But she only had the nerve to brush Opal’s fingers with her own.

Just then, there was much excitement from the duo on the floor. Having removed all of the toys from the box, they had reached the best part…the packing paper. Kinalik reached for a particularly large piece and gleefully ripped it in half.

“That makes a cool sound, doesn’t it?” Bolin observed.

Kinalik studied the two halves in her hand, and then crumpled one up, walked over, and reached up to place it on Bolin’s head.

“Oh wow! A hat! Just what I always wanted!” Bolin said with all evidence of sincerity. He tossed his head ever so slightly, and the paper fell to the floor.

“OOPS! It fell off! How clumsy of me!”

Kinalik looked at him, then at the paper, then back at him. And she laughed.

This was something that even Eska herself rarely elicited from her daughter. She wished that she could telepathically transmit to Bolin the significance of this event. But as he glanced over it her, it seemed that he already knew to some extent.

Shortly thereafter, Korra returned, and while the servants transferred her things, Asami herded them all into the main dining room for lunch. Evidently, Korra had informed her partner of Kinalik’s preferences, because the meal was omelets…plain for Kinalik and with vegetables for everyone else. Kinalik actually ate most of hers, and even sampled a piece of mushroom from Eska’s plate without spitting it back out.

When that was concluded, Desna put Kinalik down for a nap while Eska ventured out into the great unknown.

For what felt like the millionth time, Eska felt the ends of her now shoulder-length hair. It felt exceedingly strange to not have it hanging halfway down her back.

Also, the hairdresser had insisted on using hair clips to pin her bangs back.

“You have such a perfectly-proportioned forehead!” the older woman had gushed. “And such delicate eyebrows. Why would you ever want to cover that up?”

At least it might work as a disguise. And Asami and Opal had wholeheartedly agreed with the stylist. They had tried to get Bolin’s opinion as well, but he held up his pointer finger for silence.

“Please don’t disturb me. I have attained manicure Nirvana,” he stated in an exaggerated whisper.

When Bolin had finally descended back down to Earth, they went clothes-shopping. First they got some everyday items. Eska was rather embarrassed that she had to wear clothing from the Juniors section due to her petite frame, but she managed to tolerate the shopping long enough to attain several new outfits. The store had a changing room in case one wanted to wear an outfit out of the store, so Eska had changed her regular tunic and leggings for a sky-blue shirt with cap sleeves, white pants that fell just below the knee, and white sandals. It was odd to have so much of her skin exposed in public, but it was amusing to imagine how the dreaded councilors back home would react.

She was taken aback when she realized that she would have to help carry her own belongings for the first time in her life, but decided not to argue.

Then Asami had remembered about Korra’s party, to which Eska hadn’t realized that she was invited, so they went to a more upscale boutique that specialized in Water Tribe inspired designs to find a dress. Of course, the one that caught Eska’s eye was too large for her, so she would have to come back later for fitting.

By the time that was over, all of them were loaded with shopping bags and getting tired, and Eska’s back was acting up again. She still didn’t understand why some girls and women did this for fun.

“There’s a bubble tea shop just down the street. Let’s stop there,” Asami suggested.

Eska was about to inquire what bubble tea was, but her thoughts slammed on the brakes as a horrific sound rose from the corner next to the tea shop.

“What. Is. That?” she demanded as she jammed her fingers inside her ears.

“That’s a trombone,” Opal answered. She and Asami rolled their eyes at Bolin, who was edging nervously closer toward the tea shop door.

Even leading such a sheltered life, Eska had heard of street musicians. But she had been under the impression that most did it for money. There was no tip box beside this man’s feet, so either he was just doing it for fun or wanted to cause all pedestrians an agonizing death. Probably the latter, she thought.

“I am going to ambulate over there right now and inform that man that he must cease and desist immediately,” she declared.

“Maybe…just going inside would be a better idea?” Bolin offered. “Come on quick, before he sees us!”

Bolin dashed inside, and the three women had no choice but to follow, Opal and Asami both making noises of disapproval.

They got their orders and sat down. Eska had assumed that the bubbles would be some form of carbonation, but they were actually solid spheres. She guessed that it was not called “sphere tea” because it didn’t roll off the tongue as easily. In any case, the spheres had a pleasantly chewy texture.

Meanwhile, Asami was still scolding Bolin.

“He’s a much better person now and you know it!” she said.

“He still scares me!”

“Well, I invited him to the party, so get used to him.”

“You what? Oh frick…here he comes.”

The door abruptly swung open as if accompanied by a musical cue, and Trombone Man walked in like he owned the place. To Eska’s relief, he had put away that torture device for the present. Wait…why was he making a beeline to their table?

“Hi, Tahno!” Asami said cheerfully as Opal waved. The latter elbowed Bolin, who squeaked out a “Hi!”

The name rang a bell. Eska tried to recall where she’d encountered it.

“Now who is this lady here?” Tahno the Trombone Man asked. “I don’t believe that I’ve seen you here with the Uh-vatar’s crowd before.”

Eska assumed that he was referring to Opal. But after several seconds, she realized that he was looking at her. Just in time, she remembered how she knew of him.

“I saw you in the magazines,” she said. “Except then you weren’t there anymore. And then you were, but not quite as often.”

“Guilty as charged.”

Was he flirting, or just making fun of her?

Eska rose from her seat and affixed her best glare.

“Your subpar pronounciation irritates my auditory receptacles. As does your so-called musical talent.”

The look she was giving him would have sent a whole room full of courtiers fleeing. But Trombone Man just laughed.

“Oh, did I offend you, Ice Queen?”

Did he know? At any rate, Eska realized that he towered over her by at least a foot, despite her drawing herself up to as full a height as her back would allow. This would not do.

“If I am the Ice Queen, then you are my subject. I demand that you swear fealty to me by kneeling.”

She heard three sharp intakes of breath. But kneel Tahno did, after only a brief pause. He kept his eyes and his smirk on Eska. Eska remained outwardly composed (at least she hoped so), but her heart was starting to pound…from anxiety or from something else?

“Of course…you do know what this means, Ice Queen? Now I must kiss your hand.”

Eska barely had time to process the words before Bolin leapt in between them.

“O-kaaaayyy!” he exclaimed louder than he had to. “I know we’re all having a wonderful time here, and it was great seeing you again, but look at the clock! We really have to be going now, so bye and see you at the party, I guess!”

He herded the trio of women out the door, drinks, bags, and all. Eska didn’t know whether she wanted to thank him or throttle him.

“That was interesting,” Eska mused as they walked back to the Satomobile. “However, I doubt he would show the submission required to be my husband.”

Bolin choked on his last sip of tea.

“Mental images, Eska! Mental! Images!” he gasped out.

At least he was starting to show his true self around her.

#legend of korra #fanfic #eska #boleska #now you know why I was looking up tahno a few days ago

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staysuki · 3 years

Note

AHAHAHHAHA SANAOL FLOOR 😭

btw CONGRATS ON GETTING A RAISE 🍕 ! (im currently on time out 😩)

ify 🍕 when i read stories i have so much stuff i want to comment later on but once i start typing out my ask, i forget abt it 😃👍

IVE READ THAT BEFORE AND I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT UgHhhhH her works are so good , i love her someone mend my broken heart the most. i felt it so much huhu

ill miss EHALOJ since after it ends, itd be a while before you update s2 :"> its fine tho, YHM will keep on coming hehe and omgg its almost 200 notes already 🤩🤩🤩 dcurb mo ean be

----------------squid game episode 3 replies to your reactions-------------------

ok first of all, mr detective is hot af 🥵 huhu and yeah btch shouldve informed someone like wtf lols and i agree, idk how in the world he didnt get caught 👁️👄👁️ ALI BEST GUY 💕 #212 is actually kinda smort for thinking of vaginal smuggling uWu and since your done watching that ep, press the link below. hahahahahhaha the "kid" is handsome lmao lol xd marupok na ba ako nito?!?!?!?!

https://ibb.co/QcSnykQ

----------------squid game episode 4 replies to your reactions-------------------

honestly, i only remembered the bathroom scene here. i was watching it at early morning so i was hiding lmao (my sister was sleeping in the same room) anyways i had it on speaker mode, with a weak volume ofc, and before that scene was them whispering right? i increased the vol since i couldnt here them then i was shocked af since it cut to a large ass aaaaaaaa AHHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHA 😭

-----------------------------how i interpreted the emojis---------------------------

- seungmin and y/n dancing - lmao y/n ditched our boy for ryujin and yuna - omg did they plan on ruining yeji that night?! - they prob captured video evidences to ruin yejis image before proceeding it to post online ???? - wat da fuq is this (UPDATE: THEY CLOWNED EACH OTEHR?? WUT) - wut du faq iz thouis ? (ANOTHER UPDATE: I THINK THIS MEANS THEY BANGED SOMEONES HEAD SMWHERE OUT OF ANGER OR SMTH) - uHH someone won the crown? im excited >:(

THE MOODBOARD iS absOlUTEly 😌👌 - bs

🎉🎉-for pizza anon

and honestly same, this is why i’m editing real-time comments on squid game so i don’t lose my train of thought esp. since it’s hour-length episodes 😭

it’s the first time i’ve read their work i think (i’m bad at remembering tumblr users and fics hence the new library blog) but it was really pretty :(((. i can’t find their masterlist though, i’d def want to see more of their work.

i’ll miss EHALOJ too 😭. and dw about it, with the way i spontaneously do updates, maybe it won’t be that long. who knows. i do plan to finish seungmin’s smau first though, so if i end up enjoying writing for YHAM then it’ll take longer :,)))) if not, it’s gonna be a small smau again (though i think a shorter series works for YHAM). once EHALOJ starts back up, that probably just means that I already have all of seungmin’s smau episodes up in queue 💅

medyo biased aq kay detective hwang bc i’m a hwang myself 💅🤧 mrs. hwang hyunjin jkjk parang qaqo lang eon. BEST GUY ALI, he’s gonna die isn’t he 😀 he’s too perfect and too good to be true. and if something is too good to be true, it probably is. imma give him like, 2 more episodes tops. and also what kid 😭

THE PICTURE OML BS 😭😭😭😭 but i felt that.

and honestly no.212 is so noisy, i hate her character trope sm but ig that’s normal for korean series’(???) like i remember Sweet Home had that noisy guy too.

THE INTERPRETATIONS- I CANNOT

the season climax written part comes out tomorrow :* tried and guess which emoji was which scene. once you read it it’s gonna be SUPER OBVIOUS (well, some parts, idk, my emoji game is bad). l

#anon: bub stop.#pizza anon #anon:🍕

0 notes

captain-oblivious · 7 years

Text

current thoughts:

(lots of whining and self-pity below, lmao. I’m feeling okay mood-wise, but I mention some heavy topics, be warned)

will the legg bounce ever stop for long enough for me to sleep tonight

what the fuck am I gonna do once I finish my PhD? (if I finish my PhD. if I finish my MSc)

people keep asking me if I’m gonna try for a PhD even after I’ve told them that I will several times; it’s hard to shake the feeling that they see me as incompetent

impostor syndrome for days. IMPOSTOR SYNDROME FOR ALL ETERNITY

it’s been one year of grad school and I have yet to make any friends; there’s just a bunch of acquaintances. why am I so socially useless

ugh I have to see my mother tomorrow

if I don’t answer my mother’s texts within a day then she starts assuming that I’ve gone and killed myself wtf

I literally haven’t been suicidal since I started on meds 4 years ago

weighing the pros and cons of moving far enough away to not have to visit my parents regularly. the big con is that I end up far from my friends

the world is complicated what are opinions

torn between the need to stay informed and the need to shield myself from excess nastiness in the news for the sake of what remains of my sanity

all my friends are settling into relationships and I’m just drifting here

relationships seem like too much of a hassle rn, but co-habitation is convenient and cost-saving

in general I can go for long periods of not really being interested in anyone yet I deeply envy friends of mine who are in good relationships

fun fact: I have literally never asked anyone out bc I’m a cowardly wimp apparently. I’ve been that pathetic pining dude who never had the guts to make a move that everyone makes fun of a fair number of times

also despite the fact that there were some ostensibly Good Moments, and that there was never any abuse, just a bit of insensitivity, I regret dating my ex, I wish it had never happened, and thinking about the fact that I dated him at all makes me feel slightly ill

so I’ve sorta had a mild crush on this one friend for ages but I’ve never said anything bc I don’t want to make things awkward or to start going out and then have a bad break-up or something

all my friends are also getting Real Jobs™ while I’m stuck in grad school

once I’m done with grad school, I’ll have to hurry up and get a job with insurance coverage for medication ASAP bc my meds cost as much per month as some people pay in rent T_T

unless some of my Weird Health Shit I Don’t Discuss In Detail clears up, which it may or may not

I could go work for a bank and make decent money but also hate my job and prob not have time to spend said money

having a job in general sounds like such a drag ugh

how could I handle not getting bored at a job, I can’t handle hobbies for more than a few weeks before I get bored

I literally can’t get good at any of my hobbies bc I can’t stick to them long enough to make any significant improvements

hobbies should be about fun, not about being better than other people, but I’m lowkey a competitive piece of shit so I get demoralized when everyone is better than me at shit

hyperfixation is such bullshit why can’t I stick to one thing and have that be My Thing forever

or I wish I could be immortal so that I’d finally have time to get good at all of my hobbies

I suck at being consistent with ANYTHING and it is AGONIZING

a friend of mine who has ostensibly worse ADHD than I do (she got diagnosed as a kid) is able to function without meds and hold down a well-paying job while I’ve gone through a whole gamut of meds of all sorts

types of brain meds I’ve been on: SSRIs, antipsychotics, NDRIs, benzodiazepines, atypical antidepressants, and now, stimulants

I’m torn between caring for my parents and wishing I could have nothing to do with them

phew, okay, I’ve managed to dump most of my brain here, and I’m feeling considerably more relaxed

#perry rambles #shut up perry #the struggle is real

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carrickbender · 7 years

Text

Hi I'm Geoff, here's 7 because it's Sunday.....

-So this week was a serious mess. We fished on monday, delivered and got ice on Tuesday, did bait up on wednesday, fished thursday....... and that's when I got hurt. Lemme preface this- I'm ok. I'm not missing any essential body parts, and I will be fine. So lemme set the stage- we left at around midnight because my boss was (is) antsy about getting his fish caught before he has heart surgery next month. So he says yeah, we are going to go to (insert place name here) in the AM, I'll pick you up around midnight. Now, the other deckhand and I know how to read the weather map and use weather software, and we know it's going to be borderline miserable/f-ing awful weather in the am, getting worse in the afternoon. We are AK guys, and if we say it's gonna suck, it's not nice for anybody. So fine, get picked up, cast off, do a few chores, NAP, then we get up around 5 to get ready and he says, "I'm sorry guys, I messed up, looks like it's going to blow 35 tomorrow, so it's just today for these fish". We already knew this, and we have him a pep talk because he's such a nice guy, honest about pay, that I hate seeing him get down. Got our gear in the water, and it was getting nasty. Had a bite, relaxed a bit, got the deck ready for the ensuing malay, and started to haul our first set back. And it kept getting worse, but there was gear in the water. So we got it hauled, 1300lbs of beautiful white bellied halibut. So far, so good. As we were in building seas, my boss looks at us and says, "this really is not my style of fishing". 2 thoughts popped into my head- 1. I've fished with him for 6 years, and he always gets the weather wrong a lot. So of course it's his style; and 2. There's thst scene from the hangover 2 where there in the elevator and somebody says, "does everything always end up in a standoff with you Chow?", to which he replies, "of course it does! I'm an international criminal, I met my wife at one of these things!". If only my boss would have see that..... so my injury? Oh yeah, sorry. Remember that bit from wide world of sports, where the announcer says, "and the agony of defeat!", and the skier pretty much kills himself and half of China wiping out a ski jump? So my big ass is pretty stable on deck, but combine being in a 10 ft trough and the deck being slick from herring and other fish oil, and I fell. I tried catching myself, but it did the splits, banging my right knee on the rail and I felt two rips in my thigh muscle and a pop in my lower back. Scarry part? I couldn't get up. I manouvered myself onto the bin boards, sat on top of them, and then I realized I couldn't stand up, and all I could say, and I'm quoting here, was: FUCKSHITASSBALLSPISS, because that's is what you say when you hurt, right? I hobbled like an old man into the cabin, got my raingear off, but I was done for the day(and unbenownst to me, the season). I could barely move. I propped myself up, and thank God my other deck mate is a rock star because I was done. I could barely walk, let alone anything else. They finished hauling gear a bit later, and my boss told me it was some of the worst crap he'd ever fished, but they got it done. And he felt horrible about me pretty much being cut down on deck. We hobbled back to towne, and it was so crappy we couldn't do more than 4 knots because we were pounding into the waves so hard. Got in at 2, and the next day I went to see a doctor. No breaks, but SEVERE sprains, and he put the kibosh on fishing for 2 weeks. Which, I understand. It's sunday, and I can't even bend over to pull up my pants effectively without being in pain. It's going to take time...... - I'm headed back to Washington on Wednesday to get started on getting my summer in order. But most importantly, family stuff. Mom is still ill, but after 2 cancer scares, that has been ruled out. Dad had his heart restarted in a pharmacologically way the other day to try and fix a rhythm issue, and it failed. This was time number 3, so being a retired medical person, he makes a joke about it. "Probably need a new wiring harness, check the points, and make sure the battery terminals are making good contact". My dad, turning cardiology into working on his El Camino. So, I think I need to stick around close this summer. Mom's will be good once she gets the damn puss pocket out(plus she's headed to Canada for the summer), but dad doesn't get this idea of taking it easy. So, one of his offspring has to help where my stepmom cant. - music- I have so much going on here. Too much. All over washington state. That being said, I hate dealing with managers and promoters who are only out for themselves. Why can't the business be kinder to musicians? Oh, and speaking of being kind to one another, how many of this tribe of followers are musicians who have a band shirt? Because I'd love to trade! I'm having some made up when I get back, and would love to swap one of ours for yours! @voxtacular, wanna be the first? - Speaking of music, Chris Cornell......I Honestly dont know what to say. I feel fortunate that I grew up in the northwest where the music known as grunge was "born"(more like sprang forth, like Athena from Zeus). Mind you, I grew up in Spokane, Seattle's developmentally delayed and much more socially conservative sister across the state, so we didn't have many places like the sit and spin, the ok hotel, the crocodile cafe to see soundgarden or mother love bone on any given weekend. But there was one place , the big dipper, that welcomed everybody. My introduction to the big dipper was as a 16 year old kid, whose 17 year old lead singer booked our group, the midnight poets, to a Sunday night gig supporting a group called seeking the elephant. They had this "green room" where all of the musicians hung out before they played, and it was expected that the musicians would sign their names on the walls. Fugazi, mother love bone, and a little seattle band called soundgarden were amongst the ones I remember. My band didn't last, but what did last is the memory of those bands playing a serious dive like the big dipper. Paying dues. As the "seattle sound" got bigger, I got to see Nirvana, Candlebox, Stone Temple pilots, Alice in Chains, The Melvins, Pearl Jam....but I never got to see soundgarden. I put fishing before a life, and I made a poor choice. Because while you can buy stuff, you cannot buy moments. And the number of moments in my life that are attached to either a audioslave, a soundgarden, or a Chris Cornell song are staggering. For A folkie, yeah. So stay tuned for a cover tomorrow. :-) -Speaking of summer, I've been talking to my non blood cousin who is like a little sister and we are planning a meet and greet in Montana this summer with her man and babies (!), her not brother brother (my actual cousin) and his small tribe, and my people. I'm so excited to even start to pull this off. Huckleberries, I'll bring salmon, music, their kids, family.....fingers crossed, I need this. -So because I'm going to be in the close proximity of both of my parents, I'm probs going to wait on a tug job till November to really give it a go. I'm going to do my first bit of necessary school right when I get back, then do flagger training so I can work till everything gets resolved with folks/music stuff gets done, and hopefully, I can come back up for 3 weeks in August to go pink salmon fishing here. Fingers crossed, this summer could be really amaxing..... -But enough of my crap! Seriously, I just want y'all to know that you guys are really great. I love reading about your lives, your triumphs over adversity (because you all are pretty tough and amazing people), your funny stuff, amazing playlists.....and sometimes I go a bit crazy with the hearts, and I'll admit it. But my theory is this- I'd rather you know that somebody appreciates you for who you are, where you are, instead of feeling alone. I've listened to my mom tell me how alone she is for the last month, and I just want y'all to know you are appreciated like bacon and tacos..... and that includes you too @tacosandsweettea (ps-that made her laugh. Hope it did you too!) Take care, and stay tuned!

#Me #this is my life #commercial fishing #deckhand #halibut #singer songwriter #fisherpoet #I hope I didn't make anybody uncomfortable #I don't swear that much #But getting hurt is getting hurt #speaking of stuff #anybody doing the Eclipse thing this summer #I wanna go on a road trip to see that #sexy sexy times in the back of a truck #Ok I'm rambling #Maybe I'm always rambling #roll it on home

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