#which. where have i heard that before. smells like racism. smells like misogyny.

[pocketsizedquasar]

TPOC-Prioritized writings on anti-transmasculinity / transandrophobia

transandrophobia / anti-transmasculinity are both theories that have been spearheaded primarily by trans poc, particularly Black transmascs and transfemmes.

unfortunately, as with Everything created by queer and trans poc, particularly Black queer ppl, white trans ppl (regardless of gender, and regardless of whether they "believe" in this form of oppression or not) have coopted these theories and dominated these conversations, such that both "sides" of the "discourse" are divorced entirely from the racial connotations in which these theories were created, and the ways in which they were created specifically as an intervention against white feminism, and to highlight the ways multiple marginalizations affect the marginalization of masculinity. these are theories that explicitly interact with and can only be understood in conjunction with transmisogyny, as well as other oppressions like racism and misogynoir.

*"anti-transmasculinity" as a term and theory was coined by Black trans folks (some of whom's writings are linked below), and is specifically a theory within the context of Black transfeminism antiBlackness, and transmisogynoir, and cannot be divorced from that context. i try be very intentional about my use of the terms 'anti-transmasculinity' and 'transandrophobia' in different places here, because i do not want to dilute the former’s very particular context.

anyway, here's a list of miscellaneous writings on the subjects, with a priority for collecting writing from trans poc (not all of the authors are tpoc, but this list was intended to prioritize tpoc voices). the intention of this is not to be a be-all end-all on the subject, nor exalt any one of these individuals or pieces as exclusively ~correct~ or whatever, but to combat the whitewashed nature of these discussions online, and raise awareness to the myriad of people speaking on this subject. (nor do i claim to speak for any of them, or claim that any of them speak for me. i tried to make sure i didn't platform blatant racists, zionists, transmisogynists, or other bigots, but i'm not pretending to be 100% accurate about that.)

they aren't in any particular order (except the first one, which i think is an extremely foundational text for anti-transmasculinity theory as delineated by its creators, within the context of antiblackness and transmisogyny, and necessary reading to understand anti-transmasculinity as a theory). I tried to group all the links from the same authors together.

This is a non-exhaustive list! I will likely come back and add more writings as I find them. please feel free to recommend to me any works to include (including your own! especially if you yourself are a Black trans person or a trans POC).

Now with an Archived Read-more Link!

Racial-Class Paternalism and the Trojan Horse of Anti-transmasculinity by Nsámbu Za Suékama. if you read nothing else from this list, read this.

“But even as TME struggles escape the mainstream imagination, they persist, and are often both fueling and being fueled by the war on trans women and transfeminine people. Nothing makes this clearer than in how a Western binary system triangulates that war with Anti-transmasculinity. This is why I say that Anti-transmasculinity is a Trojan horse for Transmisogyny. Like the wooden horse in the Greek myth, it might not seem like what it is, for its actual contents and character are invisible, but at the heart of it, there is a violent campaign going on that is key to how the West aims to lay seige to its civilizational "enemies." And, like the walls of the city of Troy, materialist transfeminism has fortified the opposition to Western domination, in such a way that to overcome the stronghold requires a new strategy for the Man, one that follows up the open and vicious attacks on TMA people with a different, more hidden form of warfare.”

“today’s gender paternalism frames any manhood and masculine embodiment outside of (western) cisheteronormativity as not just biologically illegitimate but also the result of a barbaric threat to civilization. And who typically figures as the face of that barbarism but the Black trans woman? Materialist transfeminism has to theorize Anti-transmasculinity.”

"Non-Men", maGes, and Black Masculinities by genderfugitive / disrupthehuman

One such argument, which is really a collection of arguments but can be consolidated into one, is that trans men are attempting to take a place alongside cis men in the hierarchy of patriarchy. In other words, while they may not have been so before naming themselves as trans men, they are aspiring to be oppressors. This employs a number of rhetorical devices that I have identified before including the idea that trans men are “betraying” cis womanhood and therefore should be seen as threats unless they act as footsoldiers for transmisogyny. The problem with this is that it treats trans manhoods as embodiments that exist as something which merely aspires to be cis manhood.

"For Those Seeking Fight or Flight: Black Trans*feminist Nihilism" / primer on transmisogynoir by genderfugitive / disrupthehuman (not about anti-transmaculinity specifically (though it does come up), but a very good + important read on Black transfeminism & transmisogynoir, so I'm including it)

anti-transmasculinity needs its own theorizing outside of general "transphobia" by genderfugitive / disrupthehuman

anti-transmasculinity & antiblackness inherently linked (& another) both by genderfugitive / disrupthehuman

There is a hidden epidemic of violence against transmasculine people by Orion Rodriguez

a thread master post linking to multiple threads about anti transmasculinity by Salem L. Void / thewarmvoid

a thread on anti-transmasculinity as an epistemic injustice (translated) originally by magicspeedwagon in French; English translation by Salem L. Void / thewarmvoid

Not transmasc invisibility, but erasure by Salem L. Void / thewarmvoid

Girlboy Boygirl Blues - antitransmasculinity as a denial of individual history & more by Salem L. Void / thewarmvoid

"irl we just kiss" - ‘transmasc vs transfem’ discourse & reactionary ‘boys vs girls’ politics in trans spaces by Salem L. Void / thewarmvoid

transmascs & being treated as predatory by Salem L. Void / thewarmvoid

transmasc mental health statistics by Salem L. Void / thewarmvoid

violent anti-transmasculine hate crimes by Salem L. Void / thewarmvoid

thread on examples of systemic anti-transmasculinity by magicspeedwagon

a thread on anti-transmasculinity and its erasure by storyjunkie

anti transmasculinity & transmisogyny and the degendering of Black people by afrodykee

anti transmasculinity & transmisogyny cannot be theorized in opposition to each other by afrodykee

white transfeminism's anti-transmasculinity by afrodykee

Black trans people & erasure of TPOC voices from the trans community by thatspookyagent

transmasculine nonwhite expereince by thatspookyagent

trans men being silenced by thatspookyagent

queer POC being pushed out of conversations by thatspookyagent

cis women's harm to trans men by novascotioducktoller w/ addition about TMOC by thatspookyagent

medical violence in anti transmasculinity by Caleb / sethpuertoluna

example of medical anti transmasculinity by Dominick / transguyenergy

response to inclusion of a trans man in an ad (thread) by Dominick / transguyenergy

anti-transmasculinity around periods by Dominick / transguyenergy

anti-transmasculinity towards pregnant trans men by Dominick / transguyenergy

transitioning as a transmasc of color by gendercriminals

white (cis) women & racist transandrophobia by dead-lavender-society

transandrophobia as an indigenous trans man by petrichorvoices

examples of transandrophobia by transvermin

the “lost lesbian” narrative & antitransmasculinity by vaguefiend

cis women & transandrophobia by vaguefiend

intersectionality & transandrophobia by visible-schizo-spectrum

more transandrophobia from cis women by cock-holliday

tl;dr : there’s LOTS of theory and discussions out there abt anti-transmasculinity, transandrophobia, how these things relate to other forms of transphobia, how it interacts with other marginalizations, most especially race, and the ways in which it affects transmascs. this information is everywhere. it’s out there. y’all (white ppl) are just refusing to engage with it.

#trans #lgbtq #queer #transphobia #transandrophobia #anti transmasculinity #transmisogyny #racism #long post #quasartalks #been compliling this for ages but i think it's finally at a point where i feel comfortable posting it #like i said though it is very much subject to change! i would love to add more things to this #it is extremely shitty that discussions on antitransmasculinity and transandrophobia have been dominated on here by racist yt ppl and their #token trans poc that they so clearly are just using as a shield against when ppl call them out on aforementioned racism. #anyway. dont bother clowning on this post i will just block <3 #so much of this 'discourse' boils down to: transmascs and trans men (esp transmascs of color) saying: 'hey i experience this thing' #and other ppl (esp white ppl!) going 'no you don't.' it's so blatant lmao #it's just the complete denial of our Authority to talk about our own experiences. we are not trusted to be authorities on our own lives. #which. where have i heard that before. smells like racism. smells like misogyny. #also bc ppl can't read: none of this means transmascs have it worse than transfemmes; that transfemmes oppress transmascs; or that these #-experiences ONLY happen to transmascs. those are all extremely bad faith readings of these discussions. #AND ALSO to the (especially white) transmascs who also can't read and take these discussions as excuses to be racist & transmisogynist: #we cannot combat transandrophobia & anti transmasculinity without combating transmisogyny. they are linked. #anyway. good night

[finalgirlfae]

Teenage Idol - Chapter One

For my sake, when Rosemary shifts she shifts to a reality where racism, misogyny, homophobia and all that bad stuff doesn’t exist. Doris is born in 1939 and Connie is born in 1940 for book purposes.

hey nonny ding dong, alang alang alang boom ba-doh, ba-doo ba-doodle-ay

“ROSIE!”

Rosemary woke up nearly frightened, low music played in the distance and the room smelled of tobacco and flowers. She looked down at the fancy sofa she had woken up on, now realizing it was not the queen size bed she had laid down on a nap for. 

“Where.. where am I?” Rosemary asked, looking around frantically and a bit panicked.

“Geez.. how hard did you hit your head?” The woman laughed. Rosemary looked at her with wide eyes, this was Doris fucking Day.

“Doris?”

Doris titled her head and laughed. “Rosie? You okay?”

This has to be a dream.

“There you two are! We go on in 5!” Another voice called out. A woman with short brown hair, fair skin and red lips rounded the corner. She wore an off the shoulder black dress that hugged her waist tightly and poofed a bit at the bottom.

(like this)

“Well I was just wakin up Rosie.” Doris said, standing up and smoothing out her identical dress. They both had white gloves on, Rosie looked down to see she was wearing the same thing.

“What year is it?”

Connie raised a brow, “Rosie stop goofing off. It’s 1958, you know that.”

Oh shit.

“Next up we have a few special ladies.” A voice from front stage spoke, Doris grabbed Rosie’s hand and pulled her up a bit harshly. She was then dragged to a curtain where she stood in the middle of the girls, confused as ever.

“Please welcome to the stage Rosie Valentine, Doris Day and Connie Francis with their new hit single, Be My Baby!”

The large audience clapped as the curtain was pulled revealing the three girls, they walked out to center stage. Rosie in the middle and Doris and Connie behind her like they were to sing backup.

What do I do?

Music began to play, the song sounded very familiar to Rosie but she couldn’t quite place a finger on it, in her conscious mind at least. Body moving before mind, Rosie gently took hold of the mic and began to sing.

The night we met I knew I needed you so And if I had the chance I'd never let you go So won't you say you love me I'll make you so proud of me We'll make 'em turn their heads every place we go

So won’t you please-

Doris and Connie began to sing back up, the three ladies moved in sync with each other to a little sway dance that went with the song.

(Be my, be my baby) Be my little baby (My one and only baby) Say you'll be my darlin' (Be my, be my baby) Be my baby now Wha-oh-oh-oh

I'll make you happy, baby, just wait and see For every kiss you give me, I'll give you three Oh, since the day I saw you I have been waiting for you You know I will adore you 'til eternity Rosie noticed how the faces in the crowd looked at her with adoration instead of hatred, and this was weird. Even the white men in the crowd seemed to enjoy themselves, some even having a bit of love in their eyes. So won't you, please (Be my, be my baby) Be my little baby (My one and only baby) Say you'll be my darlin' (Be my, be my baby) Be my baby now Wha-oh-oh-oh-oh So come on and please (Be my, be my baby) Be my little baby (My one and only baby) Say you'll be my darlin' (Be my, be my baby) Be my baby now Wha-oh-oh-oh (Be my, be my baby) Be my little baby (My one and only baby) Oh (Be my, be my baby) Oh Wha-oh-oh-oh-oh

When the song was over the crowd went wild which was even more confusing. Black and white alike, sitting in this theatre looking happy and clapping for the group. And even more strange, a black lead singer with two white women as backup?? This can’t be 1958.

A man walked on to the stage, Rosie instantly recognized him. He was Dick Clark, the host of the Saturday Night Beech-Nut Show otherwise known as The Dick Clark Show.

“Say, Rosie.” Dick said, coming over with a mic in one hand and wrapping his arm around the girl’s shoulder. “Was that song for any special someone in the crowd? Maybe a certain guy or gal?”

Rosie’s body again, moved without her mind. She smiled and shook her head no, “I’m not dropping any names, Dick.”

Dick laughed and let go of her, snapping his fingers. “Aw dang it, I was really hoping to see who had stolen the heart of our teenage idol. Anyways folks give it up one more time for Rosie Valentine, Doris Day, and Connie Francis for their new single; Be My Baby. You heard it first here folks.”

The girls all took a bow before walking backstage, Rosie was slowly starting to understand where she was but not why she was there. The last thing she remembered was listening to a crew cuts song on her laptop before falling asleep. The year was 2021, so how did she go back 63 years. Maybe this was just a realistic dream?

“You sounded great Rosie.” Doris complimented, removing the long black gloves she had on.

Connie’s smile turned into a sly smirk when she saw who was walking towards them. “Don’t look now girls, but David is coming our way.”

David,, as in David Nelson?

“Ladies,” David greeted, walking over to the three girls who smiled back at him. He hugged both Connie and Doris before turning to Rosie.

“Gee Rosie, I don’t believe we’ve met. My name is David, David Nelson.”

Rosie laughed a bit to hid how much she was freaking out on the inside. She binged his parent’s show on YouTube everyday. But this isn’t real right? 

“I know, I watch the show. Rosemary Valentine.” She spoke, shaking his hand.

He smiled at her, “Well the real reason I came over here was well one, to meet you and two, my brother is too afraid to.”

His brother,, as in Ricky mother fucking Nelson,, is afraid to meet me?

Connie giggled, “You think he knows that song is about him Rosie?” 

Rosie and Doris scoffed, both sending Connie glares. She faked coy with a hand over her mouth and giggled even more.

David raised an eyebrow, “So it is about Rick? Say, he should be coming back here right now, about time you’ve met.”

And just on que he rounded the corner to the backstage, sighing when he saw his brother.”

“Geez David, at least let a fella know before you go wandering off. You’re my ride back after all.”

“I’m sorry Rick, I was just talkin to Rosie.”

Ricky’s eyes travelled to Rosie who looked a bit dumbfounded, or at least felt. He broke into a soft smile at the dark skin girl who he had been geeked over since she made her debut last year.

“Rosemary Valentine, we meet at last, How do you do?”

Rosie could feel Connie and Doris’ eyes looking at the two of them and practically hear the giggles.

“Why, I’m alright. You?” She spoke, not knowing where her transatlantic accent suddenly came from. She stuck her hand out for a shake and Ricky took it gently.

“With you here? Never better.” He said softly, bringing her hand to his lips and kissing it gently.

oh my fucking god ricky nelson just kissed my hand

David laughed a bit at Rosie’s now flustered expression. “Say, would you ladies like to go get something to eat? I know a lovely place by Times Square. The girls looked at each other an nodded.

“We’ll change and meet you right here. Excuse us.” Doris said, giving her charming smile and leading her two friends to their dressing room for the night. When Doris closed the door Connie freaked.

“You have to dance with Rick!” She exclaimed, shuffling over to the rack of dresses as she tried to find the perfect one for Rosie.

“Wha- why?”

Doris shook her head, “Everyone knows when a guy and girl dance it’s the first step to going steady. I know where David is taking us, it’s a nice little diner with a jukebox and tiled floor perfect for dancing.”

Rosie took a deep breath, just last night she had been reading a fanfic and now she seemed to be living in one. Or, until she woke up that is.

“Fine, get me dolled up ladies.”

The girls squealed and pushed her down into the chair, giving their friend the perfect date night look.

Is this really a dream?

unedited

#ricky nelson #doris day #connie francis #vinatge #1950s #music #50s music #50s au #50s vintage #shifting

[feedmeandtellmeimprettyplea-blog]

Compassionate Observations as Inauguration Day Looms Near

This morning I am taking a break from writing my dissertation to return to this so-often neglected blog. Not because I have writers block (as is normally the case if I’m blogging), but because sometimes taking a step away from a project to think through other things can be helpful. Often, my tendency is to use work to fill up my mental capacity as a way of avoiding negative or hurtful emotions. So I tend to become overwhelmed with tasks and forget to let myself feel emotions until they all arrive at once in ways that are loud, disruptive, and unavoidable.

Originally, I conceived of this blog as a space that would allow me to share recipes and stories about food. But this post is not about food, not really. Over the holidays vegans often have to answer a lot of questions about why and how we decided to become Vegan. For me the answer is always related to the concept of ahimsa--the principle of non-harming. If you follow yoga, the principle of ahimsa is about doing all that one can to contribute the least amount of harm to the world. So often the choices that I make are focused on what I can do to not harm, upset or unsettle anything or anyone else around me. Almost to a fault, this can mean that I’m not as aware of what I can do more (or less) of to cause the least amount of harm to myself, as an individual and as a being in the world. The most important element of ahimsa is that it is a concept and practice of non-harm either to the self or any other being. Of course, no one is perfect and ahimsa is not about perfection. Striving for perfection is one of the most dangerous and ultimately harmful behaviors someone can engage in. This is a hard thing for most of us to remember. It is even harder to avoid in practice than in theory. Particularly for graduate students (ahem). 

When I first started taking the steps to transition to a vegan diet and lifestyle I was coming out of very unhealthy 6 year long emotionally and at times physically abusive relationship. Feeling broken and worthless and out of place in the world after the situation collapsed led me to a deeper and more self-conscious yoga practice. Before I finally decided to break free of that situation yoga was little more than a sometimes challenging and fun form of exercise that I could do to feel like a part of a community or club. I didn’t really grasp the way that instructors talked about yoga as being transformative or spiritual until I needed something that would help me look into myself, not to see flaws, but to observe and reflect and become more responsive to my own needs and the needs of those around me. When people ask me why I “decided” to “go vegan” I don’t always tell them the whole story but I do always think back to that time in my life when I felt so unfit and unloveable and degraded--broken. And my response is always more or less the same “there is so much suffering in the world and I don’t want to contribute to that suffering.” When I say “suffering” I think people more often than not take that to mean that I don’t want to contribute to the suffering of animals. This is true enough. Factory farming is cruel and inhumane and the animals produced in factory farming institutions are born into a life where suffering is the only thing they will ever know. But the suffering that the factory farming industry produces does not end there. We live in a time of ecological collapse. Factory farms contribute to ecological disaster not just because the production of cows for slaughter contributes to massively increasing levels of greenhouse gases, but also because the amount of resources that it takes to raise and feed factory farmed animals contributes to growing levels of world hunger. The animals farmed, slaughtered, and sold in America contribute to first world obesity and third world neglect. The meat industry contributes to human suffering on almost every level imaginable. Being as non-complicit as possible in the production and continuation of that suffering, somehow, helps me to feel better about other things that have happened in my life that I cannot change but I can work to feel better about, even though at times it is a struggle. 

Yesterday morning I woke up feeling, in many ways, similar to the way I felt two years ago when I first realized the extent of the abuse that characterized my last and longest relationship. Emotions are attached to memory in interesting and infuriating ways. An emotion that triggers a memory can make you feel as though no time has passed at all since the last time you felt that way. Feelings of being defeated, doubting oneself, feeling abandoned and alone and unworthy can creep up in everyone from time to time, but in a traumatized brain these emotions can overtake everything else, making it feel as though things have never been or will never be ok. Traumatic memory is not always triggered by events that remind you of other events but also by smells and sounds and feelings. I woke up feeling this way--like I was still the person that I was when I was in a situation where I felt that being devalued, gaslighted, and at times assaulted and alienated was all I deserved. I went to a yoga class and, while it certainly did not cure my negative emotions outright--yoga is not a substitute for seeking help when you need it--it did help me to try to find more compassionate observation about myself. Compassionate observation, understanding, and reflection are important tools that yoga has helped me to work on cultivating and perhaps that is why I am so attached to it--not just as a form of exercise, but also as one of my most important methods of self-care. 

This week president-elect Donald Trump will take office. The impending thought of having a president who devalues the humanities, so often conveys fiction and bias as fact, denies the factual validity of climate change, uses abusive tactics to gain power, and has a long history of sexually abusing women is perhaps one of the strongest traumatic triggers for my memories of living with an abusive person. Often since November I have woken up feeling a mix of underwhelmed and overwhelmed, devalued, exhausted, exasperated, and hopeless. While people around me have been working to organize, protest, and resist I feel paralyzed in the face of these efforts. Perhaps this is because I feel that this is not a form of expression to which I have access. Protest can take many forms and there are various ways of showing up, however. I have nothing but respect and love for those who can make noise and risk imprisonment or physical injury to try to enact change and make their voices heard. But it is also important to recognize when you have physical and emotional limitations that prohibit you from showing up in that particular way at this particular time. Part of the compassionate observation, understanding, and reflection key to practicing ahimsa is realizing that different people participate differently in the alleviation and prevention of suffering. Together different forms of protest and participation--some quiet and some loud--work together to form what will hopefully become a community strong enough to get through the next four years and begin working towards making America less patriarchal, misogynistic, fascistic, and oppressively capitalist. 

As I work on finishing up this thought a friend and colleague sitting across from me asks me if I have found it harder to work on my dissertation since the election. I pause my writing to tell her yes, it has. I explain that after the election it took me about a month to really be able to focus on my writing again. I think a lot of folks who work in the humanities experienced something similar after the election. This is not necessarily because we have lost a sense of purpose. More to the point, I think it is because there is now someone in office who so openly and brazenly devalues the human sciences and fact-based knowledge. The group in office now lacks compassionate observation, understanding, and reason. In many ways, this makes academic work so much more integral. So much of what I and my colleagues are engaged in focuses on compassionate observation, interpretation, reason, and understanding. It is easy to feel that this work does not matter and that it will not have a lasting impact. However, to continue to do this work and continue to work towards compassionate observation and understanding against the backdrop of hatred, bigotry, fascism, and misogyny is the most concrete form of protest that I can think of and it is work that I am proud to be engaged in. 

So while it is easy to be hard on oneself and to think that there is more that one could or should be doing, we must remember that if we all continue to do what we can to increase awareness and understanding, to decrease suffering and ignorance and hatred, and to understand one another on a more fundamental level--we might ensure that Donald Trump’s presidency will not increase racism, hatred, fascism, and misogyny but will rather encourage us all to wake up and to stay woke. To continue to work, despite feelings of being devalued and belittled and oppressed, is to work towards producing a voting public that in the next four years will understand better, will have a stronger sense of what we need to resist and fight against and work toward, and will make sure that the next person to enter the oval office will not win on a platform of hate and ignorance and authoritarianism. 

Some days it is hard to keep this in mind, but most days it is enough to propel myself forward.