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nijohirjesyho · 7 months

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Wolbert Week Day 2: Parallels

Show me your hands Are they cleaner than mine? Show me your face Did you cross the line? Show me your eyes They any drier than mine? Your soul survives But peace, you'll never find

- If I Say, Mumford and Sons

Ao3 Link

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Nijoh’ir fell behind as the Scions headed out of the Crystarium, stopping just inside the entrance to the city.

Alisaie halted and turned to look at him, concern flashing on her face, “are you alright?”

Nijoh’ir gave a bitter laughter, “as good as I can be, with everything going on. I- There’s someone I want to talk to before I leave. Go on ahead Crim, I’ll catch up with you all.”

She hesitated a moment longer, long enough for him to cross the distance and shove his forehead into her temple, a rough purr rumbling out of his throat.

Alisaie wrapped her arms around him to pull him into a hug. His tail jerked in response before he returned it, rubbing his forehead against hers gently, purring louder.

“I’ll let the others know.” Alisaie stepped back, and raised one finger, “but you had better not be doing anything stupid.”

Nijoh’ir swallowed and shook his head, throat tight, and eyes wet for a moment, “no. I’m- nothing stupid. Promise Crim.”

“Then… hurry back. And if you need to talk…” She turned away from him, hand drifting to her rapier, “you know I’m always here for you.”

“I know.”

He watched her catch up to her brother, the Scions turning to see what she had to say before he pulled away, doubling back. He was tempted to head to his room, but he settled instead for scaling the stairs leading to the scaffolding that surrounded the Crystarium.

It was not hard to find a quiet and dark spot to tuck himself and wait. He suspected it wouldn’t take long, though longer than usual.

He swiveled a crimson ear at a sound behind him. Footsteps. Heavy boots that hit the ground and made armor clink, the sound of a weapon shifting. Not Emet-Selch or G’r- the Exarch. The one he was hoping for.

“There you are.” Nijoh’ir didn’t turn his head to look at Ardbert yet, “you disappeared during the fighting, I was worried.”

“Why. I’m already dead, or have you forgotten?” Ardbert sounded more bitter than usual, Nijoh’ir’s insides grew heavier, and he turned to look at the other now. “I couldn’t be part of that battle.”

Nijoh’ir’s ears fell back, “did you…” Gods had Ardbert found it in him to have the hope to try? He took a deep breath in and looked back out to the woods of Lakeland, “we can’t help it can we? But to try and be heroes?”

Ardbert scoffed, after a moment Nijoh’ir mimicked the sound. “There I go, sounding like the bard I am. Let me try that again.” He turned, mismatched eyes, teal and violet, meeting sky blue. “We always have to try and help don’t we.” It wasn’t a question. Seto had said as much about Ardbert. The Viis in the village had said the same.

And here they were now, dead and dying and throwing themselves into trying to help. “Gods are we a pair.”

Ardbert moved to join him, both of them looking out at the woods, to distant forts where battles had been fought that very night. Because of this night.

“You’re not coming with us, are you?”

Ardbert startled, Nijoh’ir laughed quietly but there was no mirth in it. Only exhaustion, that clung to him, it clung to him more since Rak’tika Greatwood.

“No. I… No. I’m staying here.” Ardbert shifted slighty, as though he was afraid Nijoh’ir would push. Maybe he wanted him to.

Nijoh’ir gave him a sad smile, and simply said, “I’ll miss you. It’s nice having another with me.” He looked away again, “someone who knows how to enjoy the quiet moments.”

“When I said they often didn’t last long, I hope you know this isn’t what I meant.”

Nijoh’ir flicked his ears in acknowledgement, the Miqo’te quiet for several moments before he replied, “I should’ve. Known better, not about you. I never get a quiet moment for long. And Vauthry, we should’ve known he’d never take what we’d been doing lying down. If I’d been thinking…”

Ardbert looked at him, “this isn’t your fault.”

“And the flood isn’t yours.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Ardbert snapped, his voice suddenly harsh. Nijoh’ir turned to him slowly, exhausted. “You have no idea what we did that caused the flood.”

“Then tell me.” Nijoh’ir replied.

They stared at each other, Ardbert’s face twisted in pain, and regret, Nijoh’ir huffed softly. “We both have our sins to carry Ardbert. It’s about making sure they weigh as they should.” His eyes flickered away, and then back to him, “is that why you don’t want to come to Ahm Arang?”

“Yes. There’s too many memories there.”

Nijoh’ir’s chest hurt, but he just nodded, “I’ll miss you.”

Ardbert looked surprised, eyes scanning Nijoh’ir’s face, turning to gentle wonder, “you will?”

“You’re better company than you give yourself credit for.” Nijoh’ir finally pushed himself off the wall, to step closer to Ardbert, into the warrior’s space, “I’m doing this for you too, you know. If Hydaelyn won’t, I will.”

Ardbert shook his head, but his eyes never left Nijoh’ir’s, “you… you shouldn’t have to.”

“No, but that’s what it means to be a hero doesn’t it?” Here Nijoh’ir smiled, more forced than he wished but he managed, “and you and I both know what it means, when I kill the next Lightwarden.”

Worry darkened Ardbert’s face, Nijoh’ir shook his head before he could speak, “I’ve known since Lakeland. They- The Exarch said the Blessing of Light would protect me.” He scoffed once, this time the smile was bitter, “but you and I both know how Hydaelyn is about protecting champions on the First. We knew that before Emet’s spiel in the Greatwood.”

Ardbert looked away, clearly in thought, “Didn’t… you call her Sprite, right?”

“I’m not calling her by a dead woman’s name, she’s haunted enough by her.”

“Right. The Oracle of Light.” There was something bitter in Ardbert’s tone but it was clear he wouldn’t elaborate, “maybe she’ll have something to tell you.”

“What, like that Hyadelyn will fix all this, and then another hero will show up in a hundred years and we’ll be stuck in statis from this point? She hasn't said anything since I arrived, why would she now?"

They met each other’s eyes and Nijoh’ir wondered if he too remembered the desperate struggle against each other, neither able to triumph against the other. And that Hydaelyn, who had ignored Ardbert’s pleas for aid had finally answered Nijoh’ir’s call.

“It’s my turn Ardbert.” His voice was soft, gentle, “I’ll finish what you started.” One way or the other, he would see the First restored. “Let this world have one last hero.”

“It shouldn’t have to be you.” Ardbert did not seem soothed by this, by the parallel to his own journey Nijoh’ir’s was taking, the way he had accepted what was happening, “you-”

“You said yourself,” he spoke over him, “that you couldn’t help me. It’s okay Ardbert. I don’t know how else to help you, so let me at least do this.”

Ardbert ran a hand through his messy brown hair, “hells, no one should have had to. You sound like- gods, you sound like her, you- but you came here to save it, you shouldn’t have to be a damn sacrifice for us. For my mistake. Hells, Emet was right. We are just slaves to her will.”

Nijoh’ir sighed heavily, “woe be to those who stand against the Warrior of Light. Woe be to those who stand beside him.” Ardbert looked at him in confusion, but he felt no desire to elaborate on the peace he’d had to make with himself once.

“I’m not a sacrifice for your mistake, and if anyone is asking that of me, it is Hydaelyn, the same way she asked it of you-”

“She didn’t ask it of me!” Ardbert threw a hand out, Nijoh’ir jerked back out of instinct, “she denied me.”

Nijoh’ir’s mouth parted, Ardbert held his gaze, pain filling his gaze, “you- She wouldn’t let me, she took all the others but not me.”

“Gods, Ardbert… I’m sorry.”

Ardbert shook his head, pain and bitterness filling his gaze, “and now here we are, and she’s taking you when it should be me. If anyone deserves to turn into a Lightwarden for this mess-”

“I wouldn’t wish that on you.” Nijoh’ir replied quietly. “You don’t deserve it either. If, for all my sins, I don’t deserve it, I refuse to let you deserve it either.”

“That’s not how this works.”

“What if I say it is?” Nijoh’ir challenged, he shook himself, “what if I say we both deserve to live. That neither of us should’ve died for this, that neither of should feel guilty.”

Ardbert didn’t laugh, he never laughed, no matter what joke Nijoh’ir told, what he said to try and prompt him to even smile, but he did something close, “then I’d say you’re a fool, but I knew that about you. Rather like it about you.”

Nijoh’ir wet his lips, “Ardbert. I-” I like you. You deserved better, I wish I could give you more than this. I wish we could’ve been heroes together, “I want you there. Not at Ahm Arang, but when we go to Kholusia. When…” he swallowed, “if this all starts to go badly, can you…”

“Aye. I can be there with you.” They were still close together, nearly pressed together if Ardbert had been alive, been something Nijoh’ir could touch.

“Thank you.” Nijoh’ir breathed, and then added, “I hope you don’t have to be.”

“I hope so too.”

Nijoh’ir leaned forward, into Ardbert’s space and added, “and I wish I could kiss you before I leave.” With that he pulled away, the ghost staring at him with a look of shock as great as if Nijoh’ir had kissed him, “I’ll see you when I get back.”

#Gods these prompts are a bit challenging to write for but I am fucking determined #ardbert x wol #Ardbert #ardbert hylfyst #wolbertweek2023

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