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psalm22-6 · 2 years

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Vianden Seen Through a Spider’s Web by Victor Hugo (1871) [source]

I was reading Victor Hugo and the Visionary Novel by Victor Brombert (would recommend) and in his analysis of Le Dernier Jour d'un Condamné he says that spiders often represent fate in Hugo’s works. Well I wanted to see if that was true for Les Misérables. Honestly it seems like the relationship between ananke and arachne is more prominent in Notre-Dame than in Les Mis because I did not find much but then again, I haven’t done any literary analysis since high school so if you see anything I missed please add on.

Mostly spiders turn up where you would expect them: in unwelcoming places like at the Thénardiers, at the Gorbeau hovel (both when Cosette lives there and when Marius lives there) and in the dingy room where Cosette Pontmercy receives Valjean (“Persecution of the spiders was not organized there”). I guess you could say that those are places where the characters have little control over their fate (of the few things Cosette remembers about her early life, she remembers the spiders, which can be read literally or figuratively).

Javert, Montparnasse, and Thénardier (especially Thénardier) are all like spiders when they track Valjean but none of them succeeds. Valjean is spider like when saving the man aboard the Orion, but Hugo points out that it’s more of a reverse spider move.

Spiders spin webs on the doors through which dead nuns leave the convent. Maybe this portends a rare window of opportunity. The most fateful allusion to spider webs I think is the light cast by the lanterns that look like webs, which Marius walks by on his way to the barricades, intent on dying. Those webs seem to follow him through the sewers, where Valjean feels caught by them and on the brink of death.

Only Myriel has sympathy for the humble spider, saying “Poor beast! It is not its fault!” Simplice’s mind is characterized by the absence of spiders, since she never tells a lie. The children in the convent explore the spider corner, which doesn’t seem very sinister. Contrast that with the terrible spiders that share Gavroche’s living space.

Below the cut are all the references to spiders & spider webs that I found so that you can see for yourself, just copy and pasted from the Hapgood translation. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

CHAPTER I—SISTER SIMPLICE: To lie is the very face of the demon. Satan has two names; he is called Satan and Lying. That is what she thought; and as she thought, so she did. The result was the whiteness which we have mentioned—a whiteness which covered even her lips and her eyes with radiance. Her smile was white, her glance was white. There was not a single spider’s web, not a grain of dust, on the glass window of that conscience.

[The Bishop] CHAPTER XIII—WHAT HE BELIEVED: One morning he was in his garden, and thought himself alone, but his sister was walking behind him, unseen by him: suddenly he paused and gazed at something on the ground; it was a large, black, hairy, frightful spider. His sister heard him say:— “Poor beast! It is not its fault!”

Why not mention these almost divinely childish sayings of kindness? Puerile they may be; but these sublime puerilities were peculiar to Saint Francis d’Assisi and of Marcus Aurelius. One day he sprained his ankle in his effort to avoid stepping on an ant. Thus lived this just man. Sometimes he fell asleep in his garden, and then there was nothing more venerable possible.

[The Thénardiers] CHAPTER II—TWO COMPLETE PORTRAITS: Cosette ran upstairs and down, washed, swept, rubbed, dusted, ran, fluttered about, panted, moved heavy articles, and weak as she was, did the coarse work. There was no mercy for her; a fierce mistress and venomous master. The Thénardier hostelry was like a spider’s web, in which Cosette had been caught, and where she lay trembling. The ideal of oppression was realized by this sinister household. It was something like the fly serving the spiders.

CHAPTER III—THE ANKLE-CHAIN MUST HAVE UNDERGONE A CERTAIN PREPARATORY MANIPULATION TO BE THUS BROKEN WITH A BLOW FROM A HAMMER: At last, the convict raised his eyes to heaven and advanced a step: the crowd drew a long breath. He was seen to run out along the yard: on arriving at the point, he fastened the rope which he had brought to it, and allowed the other end to hang down, then he began to descend the rope, hand over hand, and then,—and the anguish was indescribable,—instead of one man suspended over the gulf, there were two.

One would have said it was a spider coming to seize a fly, only here the spider brought life, not death. Ten thousand glances were fastened on this group; not a cry, not a word; the same tremor contracted every brow; all mouths held their breath as though they feared to add the slightest puff to the wind which was swaying the two unfortunate men.

CHAPTER I—MASTER GORBEAU: All this was dark, disagreeable, wan, melancholy, sepulchral; traversed according as the crevices lay in the roof or in the door, by cold rays or by icy winds. An interesting and picturesque peculiarity of this sort of dwelling is the enormous size of the spiders.

[Valjean at the Thénardiers] CHAPTER VIII—THE UNPLEASANTNESS OF RECEIVING INTO ONE’S HOUSE A POOR MAN WHO MAY BE A RICH MAN: He traversed a corridor and came upon a staircase. There he heard a very faint and gentle sound like the breathing of a child. He followed this sound, and came to a sort of triangular recess built under the staircase, or rather formed by the staircase itself. This recess was nothing else than the space under the steps. There, in the midst of all sorts of old papers and potsherds, among dust and spiders’ webs, was a bed—if one can call by the name of bed a straw pallet so full of holes as to display the straw, and a coverlet so tattered as to show the pallet. No sheets. This was placed on the floor.

In this bed Cosette was sleeping.

CHAPTER X—WHICH EXPLAINS HOW JAVERT GOT ON THE SCENT: Then he began the game. He experienced one ecstatic and infernal moment; he allowed his man to go on ahead, knowing that he had him safe, but desirous of postponing the moment of arrest as long as possible, happy at the thought that he was taken and yet at seeing him free, gloating over him with his gaze, with that voluptuousness of the spider which allows the fly to flutter, and of the cat which lets the mouse run. Claws and talons possess a monstrous sensuality,—the obscure movements of the creature imprisoned in their pincers. What a delight this strangling is!

Javert was enjoying himself. The meshes of his net were stoutly knotted. He was sure of success; all he had to do now was to close his hand. . . When he reached the centre of the web he found the fly no longer there. His exasperation can be imagined.

[Description of the convent] CHAPTER VIII—POST CORDA LAPIDES: Towards the centre of this façade was a low, arched door, whitened with dust and ashes, where the spiders wove their webs, and which was open only for an hour or two on Sundays, and on rare occasions, when the coffin of a nun left the convent. This was the public entrance of the church.

[Chapter about the children in the convent] CHAPTER IV—GAYETIES: The refectory, a large apartment of an oblong square form, which received no light except through a vaulted cloister on a level with the garden, was dark and damp, and, as the children say, full of beasts. All the places round about furnished their contingent of insects.

Each of its four corners had received, in the language of the pupils, a special and expressive name. There was Spider corner, Caterpillar corner, Wood-louse corner, and Cricket corner.

[wow there are no spiders until Patron-Minette] CHAPTER IV—COMPOSITION OF THE TROUPE: From the vagrant to the tramp, the race is maintained in its purity. They divine purses in pockets, they scent out watches in fobs. Gold and silver possess an odor for them. There exist ingenuous bourgeois, of whom it might be said, that they have a “stealable” air. These men patiently pursue these bourgeois. They experience the quivers of a spider at the passage of a stranger or of a man from the country.

[Marius at the Gorbeau house] CHAPTER VI—THE WILD MAN IN HIS LAIR: The only furniture consisted of a straw chair, an infirm table, some old bits of crockery, and in two of the corners, two indescribable pallets; all the light was furnished by a dormer window of four panes, draped with spiders’ webs. Through this aperture there penetrated just enough light to make the face of a man appear like the face of a phantom. . . . One thing which added still more to the horrors of this garret was, that it was large. It had projections and angles and black holes, the lower sides of roofs, bays, and promontories. Hence horrible, unfathomable nooks where it seemed as though spiders as big as one’s fist, wood-lice as large as one’s foot, and perhaps even—who knows?—some monstrous human beings, must be hiding.

[“Alone with God, in a remote place, they will not be thinking of praying the Our Father” Marius discovers Jondrette’s plan to rob M. Leblanc] CHAPTER XIII—SOLUS CUM SOLO, IN LOCO REMOTO, NON COGITABUNTUR ORARE PATER NOSTER: Athwart the mysterious words which had been uttered, the only thing of which he caught a distinct glimpse was the fact that an ambush was in course of preparation, a dark but terrible trap; that both of them were incurring great danger, she probably, her father certainly; that they must be saved; that the hideous plots of the Jondrettes must be thwarted, and the web of these spiders broken.

[Valjean and Cosette live outside the convent] CHAPTER IV—CHANGE OF GATE: Her childhood produced upon her the effect of a time when there had been nothing around her but millepeds, spiders, and serpents. When she meditated in the evening, before falling asleep, as she had not a very clear idea that she was Jean Valjean’s daughter, and that he was her father, she fancied that the soul of her mother had passed into that good man and had come to dwell near her.

[Montparnasse attacks Valjean] CHAPTER II—MOTHER PLUTARQUE FINDS NO DIFFICULTY IN EXPLAINING A PHENOMENON: While Gavroche was deliberating, the attack took place, abruptly and hideously. The attack of the tiger on the wild ass, the attack of the spider on the fly. Montparnasse suddenly tossed away his rose, bounded upon the old man, seized him by the collar, grasped and clung to him, and Gavroche with difficulty restrained a scream.

[The Elephant] CHAPTER II—IN WHICH LITTLE GAVROCHE EXTRACTS PROFIT FROM NAPOLEON THE GREAT: An entire and gigantic skeleton appeared enveloping them. Above, a long brown beam, whence started at regular distances, massive, arching ribs, represented the vertebral column with its sides, stalactites of plaster depended from them like entrails, and vast spiders’ webs stretching from side to side, formed dirty diaphragms. Here and there, in the corners, were visible large blackish spots which had the appearance of being alive, and which changed places rapidly with an abrupt and frightened movement.

CHAPTER I—FROM THE RUE PLUMET TO THE QUARTIER SAINT-DENIS: Only the solitary and diminishing rows of lanterns could be seen vanishing into the street in the distance. The lanterns of that date resembled large red stars, hanging to ropes, and shed upon the pavement a shadow which had the form of a huge spider. These streets were not deserted. There could be descried piles of guns, moving bayonets, and troops bivouacking. No curious observer passed that limit. There circulation ceased. There the rabble ended and the army began.

[Valjean is slowly pushed away] CHAPTER I—THE LOWER CHAMBER: This chamber was not one of those which are harassed by the feather-duster, the pope’s head brush, and the broom. The dust rested tranquilly there. Persecution of the spiders was not organized there. A fine web, which spread far and wide, and was very black and ornamented with dead flies, formed a wheel on one of the window-panes. [And in the same chapter Cosette complains about receiving Valjean in a room with spiders, in the next chapter Nicolette gets rid of the spiders]

[through the sewers] CHAPTER VII—ONE SOMETIMES RUNS AGROUND WHEN ONE FANCIES THAT ONE IS DISEMBARKING: All was over. Everything that Jean Valjean had done was useless. Exhaustion had ended in failure.

They were both caught in the immense and gloomy web of death, and Jean Valjean felt the terrible spider running along those black strands and quivering in the shadows. He turned his back to the grating, and fell upon the pavement, hurled to earth rather than seated, close to Marius, who still made no movement, and with his head bent between his knees. This was the last drop of anguish.

#les miserables #my research #brick annotations

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hklunethewriter · 4 years

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But seriously, why do I never hear about Irene Iddesleigh around the Internet? It’s practically The Room of late Victorian literature! I have to tell y'all about this book. See here:

Got published because Amanda McKittrick Ros’s (the author’s) doting husband paid for it, but not for the “I want to have more control over publication/don’t need the traditional system” reasons—no, she simply thought her writing was too amazing for that

Mark Twain called it “one of the greatest unintentionally humorous novels of our time”

C. S. Lewis and J. R. R. Tolkien would deadass have reading parties where whoever could go the longest without laughing won

“Hope is like a shimmering oaken ship on the turbulent seas of discord, fear, and impertinence, cast by the hollow winds of despair. The sun’s rays of goodness and victory tumble down from the heavens, but lo! The clouds of uncertainty beat them back as though"—ALMOST EVERY PARAGRAPH IS LIKE THIS. Metaphors and similes and alliterations and melodrama is the entire book.

a humorist from that era named Barry Pain (lmao) called it the book of the century. At first he found it funny, but then apparently he “shrank before it in tears and terror”

When Ros read what Pain said, she called him a “clay crab of corruption” and then claimed he did it because he was secretly in love with her (my gosh. her mind)

And for all that, it’s not even just the outrageously

🌌 purple prose 🌌

that’s the whole issue here. The plot is basically just

Act I: I’m going to willingly marry a man I hate, and I hate him because he isn’t my secret lover >:(

Act II: I hate him even more each day but we have a kid, oh and I’m having an emotional affair with my secret lover

Act III: husband discovers affair and locked me in a “cursed” room for a year (Charlotte Brontë is literally shaking) but I escape to America with my lover. Huh? I have a child? Never heard of him

Act IV: I somehow legally marry my lover in America and will live there the next fifteen years, but whoops! Suddenly he’s super bad with money and also a drunk and abuser and hits me and then dies by suicide

Act V: I go back to England. Nobody recognizes me even though I’m, like, 35, but they all hate my guts and love my dead husband. My son got the whole story from his dad and hates me the most. I’m sad. I walk to a cottage my lover used to use and literally drop dead. The end

So if you’re looking for something ridiculous to read and be entertained by, I can heartily recommend Irene Iddesleigh. It’s about 100 pages, so it isn’t a slog (somehow)—I read it in an afternoon. You can read it storybook style here or find it over at Project Gutenberg. It’s what Tolkien and Lewis would want.

In case you aren’t convinced yet, though, allow me to show you.

Until now he was inclined to be prejudiced against the snares and allurements of women, but he strongly resolved to try gradually and abandon every unkind thought harboured in his mind against them, fearing lest all his conjured imaginations were both unjust and selfish; and determined to drown them for ever in the clashing gulf of fate, felt a prouder and happier mortal than before.

But time would solve the problem and heal the wound which penetrated so deeply his bosom. Yea, a short time he hoped would bring his creeping fever of endearment under the binding stay of appointed authority, and heal its weakening effects with the sacred salve of truth.

Aka “my long-worn misogyny has just been reversed by a pretty woman”

Great

Chapter IV: When on the eve of glory, whilst brooding over the prospects of a bright and happy future, whilst meditating upon the risky right of justice, there we remain, wanderers on the cloudy surface of mental woe, disappointment and danger, inhabitants of the grim sphere of anticipated imagery, partakers of the poisonous dregs of concocted injustice. Yet such is life.

Chapter VIII: A word of warning tends to great advantage when issued reverently from the lips of the estimable. It serves to allay the danger pending on reticence, and substantiates in a measure the confidence which has hitherto existed between the parties concerned. Again, a judicious advice, extended to the stubborn and self-willed, proves futile, and incurs the further malice and fiery indignation of the regardless, the reckless, and the uncharitable.

Chapter XIII: It is astounding to view the smallest article through a magnifying glass; how large and lustrous an atom of silver appears; how fat and fair the withered finger seems; how monstrously mighty an orange; how immeasurably great the football of youth; but these are as nought when the naked eye beholds the boulder of barred strength—a mountain of mystery.

Every chapter has a paragraph like this. I won’t spoil them for you.

Such is life.

“My dearest and much beloved, I assure you your remarks have astounded me not a little! Your words sting like a wasp, though, I am quite convinced, unintentionally. You are well aware that within a short period I will be marked out publicly as mistress of Dunfern mansion—an honour revered in every respect by me; an honour to which I at one time dare never aspire; an honour coveted by many much more worthy than I, whose parentage is as yet bathed in the ocean of oblivious ostentation, until some future day, when I trust it shall stand out boldly upon the brink of disclosure to dry its saturated form and watery wear with the heat of equality. You are about to place me in a position which cannot fail to wring from jealousy and covetousness their flaming torch of abuse. Yes, Sir John, on me you have not ceased to lavish every available treasure and token of your unbounded love. You have been to me not only a loyal admirer, but a thoroughly upright and estimable example of life’s purest treasures. You have resolved to place me by your side as your equal, whilst wealth in boundless store is thirsting for your touch. You have elevated my unknown position to such a pitch as to defy taunt or jeer, and at any time if I may have, seemingly, ignored your advances, it was purely want of thought, and not through any underhand motive or scheme whatever.

“I assure you your allusion to my verbal answer last night is very pronounced, and may be overlooked on the ground of pure disappointment. Our time of singleness is now short, and begging your forgiveness for my seeming neglect or indifference, I hope the tide, which until now has flown so gently, may not be stayed on the eve of entering the harbour of harmony, peace, and love.”

At the commencement of Irene’s answer of lavishing praises and flimsy apologies, her affianced moved to the opposite corner of the rustic building to scan the features of her he wholly worshipped and reluctantly doubted. Every sentence the able and beautiful girl uttered caused Sir John to shift his apparently uncomfortable person nearer and nearer, watching at the same time minutely the divine picture of innocence, until at last, when her reply was ended, he found himself, altogether unconsciously, clasping her to his bosom, whilst the ruby rims which so recently proclaimed accusations and innocence met with unearthly sweetness, chasing every fault over the hills of doubt, until hidden in the hollow of immediate hate.

Ros is so close to being self-aware at the start of the last paragraph here, but then it’s lost in the same circular language found throughout. Ah, well.

#reading #books #Irene Iddesleigh #booklr #bookblr

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boarix · 5 years

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Wraith in the Ruins: A Fallout 4 Story Part XIII

Let Me Go

Trigger warnings: canon language/violence/gun, drug and alcohol use. Suggestive/mature content

Bloody mess warning!

Game spoilers!

Please enjoy

“My dad’s old Highwayman would’ve come in handy right about now. Are we sure we’re still on ninety-five? I figured there would be a little more asphalt than this. ”

A week out from Sanctuary, Wraith’s caravan had been traveling in almost nonstop rain and the road was thick with mud.

“Was that a truck? I’d think we’d need some big tires for this slop, ya feel me?”

“Nothing can stop a Highwayman!” Wraith did her best impression of the spokesperson but then frowned to herself when she realized she was the only person to have actually ever heard the original commercial.

“I’d rather have a vertibird… fly above all… nngh… stupid… wet… CRAP!” Falling over sideways, MacCready lay defeated and motionless as the ever helpful Dogmeat licked his face.

Deacon fished him out, smiling at the cork-like pop, “No thank you, I’d rather not.”

“How long, in a car would this trip have taken anyway?” Hancock crouched slightly, “You want me to give you a piggyback ride, MacCready?”

“Naw man, I’m all gross and… oh… very funny.”

Laughing at them, Wraith snapped her fingers, “I don’t even have the heart to tell you. A Blitz would have gotten us there like that.” She smiled as she reminisced, “Plus they had those really cool gull-wing doors!”

“What kinda doors?”

Raising her arms out to either side, Wraith bent her elbows and spread her fingers like pinions on a wing, “Like this.”

“I know what it means, sunshine. Wanted to see if you’d make a silly pose.”

“I’m not silly! I’m a majestic shorebird.”

A small smile twitched at the corner of his mouth as Deacon enjoyed listening to and occasionally joining the trio’s banter. However, while maintaining the Harley character he had to be careful about breaking into his establish Deacon-the-funny-guy routine; laughing too loud or too frequently. Successfully gaining enough muscle mass to almost completely change his physicality, along with a full, red beard and without his glasses, he was completely unrecognizable even since Valentine’s wedding. Hancock, MacCready and Wraith had been consistent with calling him by his alter ego and he along with the five synth refugees all remained safely anonymous.

“Yes general, this is the highway. Behold your tax dollars at work.”

“Well… I’m gonna write my congressman…” Wraith slowed to walk next to Deacon, letting Hancock and MacCready move ahead. “Are we going to be able to stop in Baltimore? Or… whatever it’s called now. Or do we have to skip it like Philly?”

“There’s not a whole lot to see if we do stop; there’s some small trading stations that pop up in the summer but we might be early yet.” Deacon’s smile broadened as Hancock, noticing Dogmeat struggling in the mud, hefted the pup and carried him against his chest like a child, “We might have left too early in general… General. I haven’t seen spring rain like this in ten years.”

“Are we… talking about the weather like old people?”

“The weather will do more than… dampen our spirits. Time is a concern.”

“We wouldn’t want to get sick… being under the weather would slow us down.”

“If L&L sent a party after us… their rain of terror would…”

“Ugh, no! That’s stretching.” Wraith play-punched his arm.

“Oh? Couldn’t think of another one? I guess I won that round.”

Careful! Harley wouldn’t be this familiar. Tune it back…

Making note of the sudden shift in Deacon’s body language and tucking her chin, Wraith whispered her concern from the corner of her mouth, “L&L, huh? I thought you found the last two…”

“Later.”

MacCready had found a small rise that was relatively dry and despite the fact that it was still a good two hours until sunset, the caravan stopped for the night. After making sure the brahmin were sound, everyone was being fed and watch shifts were selected, Wraith broke away to meet with Deacon.

“Hey, that’s my trick!”

Wraith doubted that she had actually been able to sneak up on him. “You’re being kind.” Folding her slender legs under her, she propped her back against a wretched-looking tree, “How much will you tell me?”

Seating himself on the opposite side of the trunk, Deacon’s voice was low, “My contact in Underworld is Tulip. Captain Sally and The Bruiser are still at large.”

“I thought Hancock’s network had found them.”

“Shit happens.”

Not for the first time, Wraith berated herself for leaving the Railroad, “I should have stayed. Should have finished…”

“Not everything that happened or will happen is your fault, Pippa. Fuck’s sake!” Genuinely annoyed, Deacon leaned around the oak to glare at her, “Dial down your ego for two seconds and you’ll realize the Earth doesn’t fucking revolve around you!”

“Holy shit! What the fuck was that for?!”

With Wraith’s angry frown inches from his own, Deacon had an impulse to kiss her. Letting the image carry him away for far longer than was healthy, he felt heat on his face.

Shit! FUCK! SHITFUCKDAMN!

“…are you?” Clearing her throat, Wraith sat back on her heels, “What was that? Please, tell me what…”

“No, Wraith.” In one fluid motion, Deacon rose to his feet, turned and melted away into the evening shadows.

The insects were becoming a problem. The rains had finally let up but the further south the caravan progressed the warmer it got and the swarms of bugs were insufferable. Ranging in size from annoying to lethal there was a growing concern over the amount of ammunition being spent.

“Goddamn bugs!” Hancock seemed especially agitated and would routinely spend his daily allotment of shells, “Someone take my gun from me; I can’t help myself!”

“You could always just stab them…”

“Hey, that’s right!” Brandishing his beloved combat knife, the ghoul licked the blade with a mad light in his eyes.

“Or, or you could take some Day-tripper and we could strap you to a brahimn for the rest of the trip.”

Hancock made a show of being torn between ending all bug life at the end of his knife, or enjoying a nice high, “Gee, Harley how will I ever choose?”

Surprised that he would play along, Deacon’s confusion mounted when the lanky mayor draped an arm across his shoulders, “What’s got you so… friendly?”

“Wraith’s been lower than brahmin udders since she snuck away to chat at ya.” Hancock pulled the other man close to whisper in his ear, “And you’ve been even lower, brother. You kids feuding or what?”

Alarmed to know that his mood was affecting his body language, he straightened his back. Feeling uncomfortable under the ghoul’s arm, mostly because he enjoyed the contact, Deacon shrugged and was able to side-step away. He chuckled, “Damn, you are just as dangerous as she is.” Still feeling the weight of Hancock’s touch and angry that he had liked it, he rolled his shoulders and cracked his neck. “I told her about the L&L setbacks; the false intel… more or less.”

“You tell her ‘bout the mole? About how I killed that fucker?”

“No Mr. Mayor, I didn’t. Because she’s not supposed to have to know about the Railroad and where I’m at or about whatever it is that I’m doing. I’m trying to give her one less fight and one less worry.”

“Well, you’re doing it wrong. Lyin’ has never worked with her.”

Annoyed, Deacon talked through his teeth, “Well, how exactly would you go about it?”

“Fuck if I know.” Folding his arms behind his head, Hancock walked away while whistling Keep a Knockin’.

Hancock was whimpering. It wasn’t unusual for him to battle his demons in his sleep but it still made Wraith’s heart hurt. She pulled him closer to her and his eyes opened briefly. He smiled, thankful to be rescued and he laid his head against her chest.

“Fighting ninjas again?”

“Heh. Not this time, sunshine.” He yawned and nuzzled her breasts through her shirt, “MacCready and Dogmeat still on watch?”

“Yeah. I’ve gotta get up soon. We’ll do a swap-out so you won’t be alone for long.”

“Stay with me for a couple more minutes.” His voice carried a surprisingly high level of anxiety.

She kissed his head, “A bad one, huh? I can stay a little longer.”

“I’ve told you I love you, right?” His voice wavered, almost as if he had been crying.

“Yes, of course!” She squeezed him tightly, “And I love you. What was it?”

“Don’t wanna trouble you with it.”

“It’s no trouble. It was just a dream, right?”

“I… MacCready didn’t want to leave th’ Capital and you decided to stay with him. I… I lost you both.”

“That you, Wraith?” MacCready was staring intently through his night scope, “You picking up anything on your fancy wristwatch?”

“No. Why?”

“I… my neck hairs are up… I don’t see anything but…”

“You feel.”

Lowering his scope, MacCready’s shoulders slumped, “That’s from that book again, isn’t it? You enormous nerd.”

Wraith gave Dogmeat a pat, “Puppy here seems to be relaxed.” She stuck her hand in MacCready’s back pocket to give his butt a squeeze, “Now, now. We have been through this; if you know what I’m talking about then you’re just as big a nerd.”

Returning the scope to his eye, he pretended not to notice her hand, “Darn it! I feel like I’m being stalked. Harley isn’t out there being a… messing around, right?”

“He’s out and about but he’s taking this all very seriously.” She checked her Pip-boy again, “I still don’t see anything. You sure it’s not just a case of the jitters? Tell you what; I’ll go do a quick sweep. The bad vibes are coming from the east, right? Hang tight.”

Moving silently through the scrub, Wraith calmed her mind for peak focus. Stopping every few yards, she strained her ears to listen for any minute change in the night sounds around her. Crisscrossing back and forth, she moved east until she reached a swamp and ran out of solid ground. Slowly standing in the moon-cast shadow of a large bolder, she held her breath and closed her eyes.

You never thought that maybe Mac would want to stay. You never thought that up until a couple of years ago his whole life had been in the Capital Wasteland and maybe he prefers it. What if Duncan refuses to leave and Mac doesn’t want to traumatize him by forcing him? What if Carol and Greta convince him not to take his son? What if he had been in love with Morningstar and when he sees her he’ll realize that you’re not as good? What if…

Dangerously close to hyperventilating, Wraith was able to snap herself back… just as the deathclaw hit her.

“Light, GET SOME GODDAMN LIGHT OUT THERE!”

“How?! We don’t have a generator with us, Mayor Hancock!”

As soon as he heard the deathclaw’s roar, MacCready had raised the alarm and he and the dog sprinted off into the night. Now, Hancock was left to organize the pursuit and was terrified that his nightmare was coming true.

“Lanterns! Torches! Fucking sake! Let’s GO!” When Deacon made as if to follow, Hancock stabbed his finger at him, “Not you! Stay and protect the camp.”

His jaw clenched as he ground his teeth but he complied.

Get up! Getupgetupgetup!

Able to gather her legs beneath her despite her lungs being devoid of air, Wraith ducked and dodged as the monster did its best to bifurcate her. She felt hot blood streaming down her face and she realized she had forgotten her armored hood back at camp.

I am such a shitshow!

The moon was full and so afforded her enough light to evade the monster’s swinging talons. Injured as she was, Wraith knew that she would tire quickly and needed to get on the offense. She expected that her companions would hear the beast’s bellow and attempt to come to her aid but she had traveled fairly far from camp. Even with the moon’s light it would take time to find her. Options seemed to be limited…

I need to slow it down. I don’t know how deep the swamp is but if I can get it stuck in the mud…

Weaving through a small copse of trees, she gained enough distance to grab a syringe of med-X and the bottle of Buffout from her pack. Bolstered by the chems, she unsheathed Kremvh’s Tooth and sprinted straight at the creature. Diving between its legs, she slashed its Achilles tendon as she passed and rolled to her feet behind it. Ducking under its tail as it spun around to pursue her, she sprinted for the water.

Leaping to a fallen tree, Wraith ran along its length and turned to mark the deathclaw’s progress. It seemed oblivious to the fact that its left foot hung by a strip of hide and she watched in horror as it gathered itself to jump to her log.

I’m drowning here! The only way this could be worse is if there were two…

A second deathclaw bellowed from her left.

Oh. Swell.

Trying to keep up with Dogmeat, MacCready paid no mind to the branches whipping across his face. He was terribly worried that he hadn’t heard gun shots and he was attempting to convince himself that it was because she preferred melee weapons and not because she had been killed.

Has she lost her mind? Didn’t she learn anything from the last time?!

Man and dog rounded the bolder just in time to see the second deathclaw rear back and bellow its challenge. They then both watched in horror as the injured deathclaw leaped to Wraith’s log. She was catapulted through to air to land with an enormous splash, where she sank like a stone into the swamp’s dark waters.

Snarling as viciously as Dogmeat, MacCready quickly doubled back and climbed the bolder. Rifle in hand he sent shot after shot to the second deathclaw’s right knee as Dogmeat led it in circles around the rock’s base. The sniper cut through the beast’s leg like a lumberjack felling a tree and it collapsed heavily to its side. Dogmeat continued to worry it, preventing it from getting up and MacCready changed his target to the monster’s left knee. As soon as it was destroyed, the former merc whistled the canine away and tossed a grenade; finishing it off.

Although her flight had been ungainly, Wraith had seen the deathclaw coming and so had been able to steel herself before being launched into the water. Unable to see through the silt, she swam to the bottom and headed back toward the shore, hoping to flank her foe.

The deathclaw had somehow tracked her progress and so dragged itself through the muddy water after her. Wraith surfaced right next to it and it lunged at her with its mouth open. Pulling her .44, she unloaded a full clip into its gaping maw. Her angle was bad however and so even though the wounds she inflicted would prove to be mortal, the monster wasn’t dead yet.

Frantically doing the backstroke, she was able to find footing enough to leap at the deathclaw with her blade leading the way. Landing heavily on its head she pushed the dagger through its upper jaw and pinned its mouth closed, roaring defiantly into its face.

The deathclaw plunged and shook; crow-hopping to try and dislodge her. With one hand on her weapon and the other on one of its horns, Wraith held on for dear life as the monster thrashed. Her substantial strength still augmented by the Buffout, it should have come to no great shock when the creatures horn came away in her hand. Losing her grip on her weapon’s blood-splattered hilt, she was once again flung into the water.

Moonlight reflected through the great spray of blood, clearly defining its crimson hue. The deathclaw stood with its head raised and arms spread wide, almost as if it was appealing to the moon for mercy. Then with a deep, mortal groan it fell dead.

MacCready stood motionless in complete shock. When Wraith surfaced, sputtering and cursing he realized he had been holding his breath, “Are… ARE YOU OKAY?!”

“GrrrrrrrAWWRRR!” Splashing and growling, Wraith kicked at the beast’s head before retrieving her dagger. Then, suddenly spent, she flopped onto her back in the mud, “Ugh. I think so.”

Dogmeat ran to her and setting his nose to her head wound, whiffled unhappily.

Wraith sheathed her weapon and reached up to run her fingers through the dog’s neck ruff, “I’m okay buddy. I… I think.”

“NO! YOU ARE NOT! YOU ARE BLEEDING!” MacCready had his med kit out in a flash.

“You have a flare gun, right? Do that first, okay?”

The relief Hancock felt when he saw the flare was dashed when he saw MacCready hovering over Wraith as she lay on the ground. Unconsciously gripping his chest over his heart, he walked with slow, heavy steps to stand next to Dogmeat. “MacCready…”

Taken aback by Hancock’s stricken look, the young man waved his hands, “She’s alive! She’s a crazy monster but she’s alive.”

“Who’s a monster?!”

“Have you ever seen yourself fight?” MacCready bent to kiss her, his slight shiver evidence of his fear, “My knock-out, monster woman…”

Hancock kneeled in the mud and placed a hand on Wraith’s blood-caked forehead, “Did you pick a fight with two deathclaws all by yer lonesome?”

“No… I’m ashamed to admit they got the drop on me.”

“I distracted you. Got in yer head. Shouldn’t have told you ‘bout that dream.”

“It’s not your fault! Don’t… just don’t, please.” Wraith caught MacCready’s hand, “Don’t bother stitching me up; I have a couple of derma-fuses at the camp.” She sat up as the young man bound her head. “It’s a shame Bear isn’t with us; I’d have him skin these two… deathclaw armor would be super cool.”

“The one I got was an albino too. That’s pretty rare.”

“What am I, chopped liver?” Hancock turned to one of the Minutemen escorts, “How ‘bout it Lloyd, you wanna help me set yer general up with some swanky new threads?”

“Do you have the right kind of knives for that?”

Placing his hand on his chest as if she had given him the greatest of insults, Hancock raised his voice to a falsetto, “Do I have the right kind of knives? ME?! You’re asking ME?!”

It was the last night before the caravan reached the designated rendezvous at relay tower Kx-B8-11. MacCready and Wraith lay together in her bedroll and a nervous Wraith had not slept at all. Her mind was tormenting her with Hancock’s dream and she couldn’t shake the image of MacCready’s back moving further and further away from them.

“Wraith, you keep sighing…”

“Oops, sorry!”

Gathering her gently into his arms, MacCready kissed her temple, “What’s the matter?”

“What’s Morningstar like? Fahrenheit calls her a ‘beautiful giant’ but I don’t think it’s a complement.”

“No, probably not.” MacCready laughed, “It’s accurate though. She’s about as tall as Hancock but like two of him across. Maybe three…”

“Were the two of you friends?”

“No...” The pregnant pause suggested otherwise and it was his turn to sigh, “Maybe… It’s kinda complicated.”

“Tell me a story, Mac.”

“Sure, fine. It’s not like I’m gonna get any sleep anyway.”

“Yay.”

“Nyx is a nosy, goody two-shoes. She’s a busybody who can’t seem to leave sh… stuff alone.” He rolled away from her onto his back and stuck an arm behind his head. “She came to Little Lamplight so she could get into a vault. I helped her out and then I couldn’t get rid of her. She said that she owed us. I told her to… leave us alone.”

“You told her to fuck off?” She could see him smile in the dark.

“Verbatim.” His smile grew larger, “She didn’t listen, of course. She would bring supplies; food and clothes and stuff. When I turned sixteen and left she offered me a job but I was… stupid and told her ‘no thank you’.”

“Fuck off, part two?”

“Yeah. I thought I could make more money, faster with the Gunners. Looking back… I acted like such a idiot kid.”

“Mac, you were sixteen! That is a kid.”

“Not in the wasteland.” His smile gone, he looked sadly backward in time, “Then I found out that she had cleared Lamplight out and set up an orphanage in Megaton. I was so angry… but I don’t know why. Honestly, it was pretty amazing what she did for those kids. She gave them a chance to be... well… kids. That didn’t stop me though. I went and told her exactly what she should do with herself.”

“The return of fuck off, part three the sequel?”

“After Duncan was born, Lucy…” MacCready swallowed, hard, “Lucy said I needed to make peace with her. I… refused.” A rim of moisture gathered at the corner of his eye, “I was still being…” Unable to continue, a large tear traveled down his cheek.

“I’m sorry. You don’t have to keep going.”

He sniffled and reached out to pull Wraith to his chest, “No, it’s okay. After I lost Lucy, I got… dark. I would drop Duncan off at Underworld and take missions that… I don’t think Charon would’ve done.”

“Charon is Morningstar’s… bodyguard? Actually I’m not sure what their relationship is.”

“Complicated. I think at one point she owned him. They might be a couple but I honestly don’t know.”

“Owned?! Like… not like a slave?!”

“Like I said, complicated.”

“Oh… no.”

“After Duncan got sick I promised him that if he could hold out until I got a cure, that I would be a better person. I finally went to Nyx. She never even hesitated, just came to help me as if we were best pals. I took it completely wrong, like she was using this as another opportunity to show how much better she is. Ugh, I was such a bastard!”

“Stop being so hard on yourself.”

“You don’t understand. If you knew all the things I’ve done…”

“Hancock says that too. You both know perfectly well all the horrible stuff I’ve done.”

MacCready shifted himself and sat up, taking Wraith by the shoulders and looking in her eyes, “You two are different. You guys did that stuff to help other people. You both made sacrifices and hard decisions so that they could be saved. I did terrible things because I hated everything. I was joking when I called you a monster. I’m the monster.”

Matching his stare, Wraith cupped his cheek with her hand, “I don’t know if you’d ever want to tell me everything but I want you to know that I would listen. I love you. I always will.” She kissed him and gently set her forehead against his.

They sat that way, quietly for a few seconds until MacCready pulled slightly back. He stared, smiling into her eyes. His look morphed from adoration to lasciviousness and he ran his hands from her shoulders down her back. Setting his lips against hers in a needful kiss, he tucked a hand in the waistband of her jeans to squeeze her butt.

“Mmmm, Mac… We have to… stop…” As her lover’s hands and mouth traveled across her body, Wraith barely had the presence of mind to protest.

“Think so? I can be quiet. I can be good and quiet.”

“Huugh… It’s even… more fun… oh mmmm… when you’re loud…”

“Beacon has been activated… Harley.” Wraith was genuinely regretful at not being able to make a rhyme.

“Acknowledged, general. The Morningstar escort should arrive in less than twenty-four hours. Was there anything else?”

“No. Thank you soldier, you are dismissed.”

Wraith frowned as she watched him walk away. She had made several attempts, during the last days of travel, to engage with Deacon. She understood the need for his alter ego but was disappointed that he was no longer allowing himself to be friendly.

I make jokes and laugh with all my people. Probably more than what’s appropriate but… This is so different than any other mission. He’s so different… even from when we left Diamond City.

“General, Morningstar has been spotted. She should be here in about twenty minutes.”

“Thank you, Lloyd.”

The sun had barely risen the following morning but Wraith had been up all night. Both Hancock and MacCready had tried to calm her but her anxiety had turned Nyx Morningstar into some sort of boyfriend-eating gorgon.

And then she was come.

At well over six feet, she was perhaps the tallest woman Wraith would ever see. Morningstar wore heavy combat gear with a custom, lion-like helmet that was heavily inspired by gladiatorial armor. Lifting an arm, she waved as her group crested the hill. When she removed her helm her impressive mane of blue-black hair poured forth like liquid night. Her large, gold eyes smiled in a truly friendly manner as they surveyed Wraith’s group.

“Hey there, butt face.”

MacCready stood, flanked by Hancock on his left and Wraith on his right, “Hey mungo.” Swaggering up, he stuck out a hand. Nyx clasped it firmly, then to his shock, pulled him to her and swept him off his feet to spin around in a whirling bear hug, “AAAAAAHHHH! PUT ME DOWN, YOU BEHEMOTH!”

After a couple more revolutions, she set him back on his feet, “I’m sorry R.J. It’s just so good to see you!” She turned her sun-beam smile onto Hancock and offered him her hand. “John Hancock, you old raisin! How are you?!”

Shaking her hand firmly he smiled, “Still sweet and wrinkly! You’re impressive as always, Morningstar. Speaking of impressive, may I have the pleasure of introducing Wraith, General of the Minutemen?”

Wraith lifted her chin and secured her face into her best I-need-to-win-over-this-jury smile, “I’m honored to meet you, Morningstar.”

“The honor is mine. And please, call me Nyx.”

“Only if you will call me Wraith.” Wraith turned her attention to the silent, tall sentinel standing slightly behind Nyx, “And you must be Charon. It’s a pleasure to meet you as well.” The entire hill top seemed to freeze as Wraith extended her hand to the mountainous ghoul.

To everyone’s shock he took her hand and offered her the tiniest of quarter grins, “The pleasure is mine.” Charon then turned slightly to Nyx with a slightly larger, tiny grin and a wink.

When Nyx saw Dogmeat her eyes widened and she took a knee, “Hello old man.”

The German shepherd sat and placed his paws on her leg. The two stayed in silent communion for several seconds before woman and dog rose to their feet.

Turning back to Wraith, Nyx was all business, “We should move soon. It would only be natural for my group to assist yours breaking camp. Lots of moving bodies can be confusing to those who may be watching.”

It suddenly occurred to Wraith that six of Nyx’s group very closely resembled Deacon and his five synth refugees. Nodding, she joined the throng of people and brahmin. Then, completely imperceptible to an outside observer, the two groups swapped costumes, as if by magic.

As the large caravan headed south, Nyx and Wraith walked together. Wraith’s mind was a whirl of questions but afraid that she’d be a pest, wasn’t sure where to start.

“Danse isn’t with you.”

Wraith jumped slightly, startled by the broken silence “No. I did ask him if he would like to come but I think he feels this chapter of his life is closed. Did you know him?”

“I know everyone.” Nyx’s smile somehow softened the egotistical declaration, “Not well, but I did meet him before Maxson whisked him away. I have a letter for him from former scribe Haylen.”

“Ah. She did end up quitting then.” Wraith somehow felt even more awkward, “You might find this a strange question but, is she… okay?”

“Wraith, to be clear; I am connected to the BOS but I myself am not an active member. I have an understanding with the elder. To be blunt, they owe me. A lot. As such, they understand that certain towns, settlements and people, are under my protection. Places like Underworld. People like the ghouls living in and around the Capital Wasteland. People like my super mutant friend, Fawkes. People like Haylen.”

The large women had unconsciously picked up her pace and Wraith had to practically jog to keep up with her, “Did they threaten her?!”

“Not at all. That whole… debacle, was a huge embarrassment and setback for the Brotherhood. You remain public enemy number one but Haylen will be fine. I have her doing medical research for me and she seems to be happy.”

“Speaking of medical research, I have a gift for you.” Wraith, eager to change the subject, passed her a derma-fuse, “It’s Institute tech designed to close lacerations.”

Nyx’s eyes took on a greedy gleam as she accepted the device, “Fascinating! How does it work?”

“I don’t actually know how it works but what it does is localized cellular regeneration. Dermis only, hence the name. I actually brought you two; one to use…”

“And one to ruin, trying to figure out how to make more?” The two women shared a laugh.

“Well, glad to see you are getting along.” Returning to the group after scouting ahead, MacCready flashed them a roguish grin.

“What of it, R.J? Why wouldn’t we? I happen to be a super-fun person!”

He rolled his eyes, “Yeah, right. What were you two talking about?”

“About how you’re a huge dork.”

“Oh, I’m huge alright. In all the right places!”

“Does that explain your enormous head?”

“Big brain.”

“I think you mean big ego.”

Despite the harsh volley of words, MacCready seemed to be enjoying himself, “Well, you would be the expert on gigantism and egos.”

Wraith, feeling out of place, dropped back to her more normal walking pace. Suddenly finding herself side by side with Charon, her feeling of awkwardness intensified to new heights.

“So, I assume this is normal? For them, I mean.”

“Yes.”

“Not to say it isn’t funny.”

“Sure.”

“Well. I um… guess I’ll go check on… brahmin stuff.”

Wraith’s passage through the Capital Wasteland left her feeling nostalgic and sad. The ruins of The Mall were particularly emotional. Her nerves frayed by the journey and the imminent face-to-face with Duncan, she held Hancock’s arm as they walked.

“You’re gonna be fine, sunshine.” The ghoul kissed the back of her hand, “We’ll be back, all together in Sanctuary before you know it. One big, happy family; lots of weird aunts and uncles for the kids.”

MacCready sought them out just before passing through Underworld’s doors. “Whew! Here we go.”

The caravan members distributed themselves between The Chop Shop and Underworld Outfitters as MacCready, Hancock, Dogmeat and Wraith climbed the stairs to Carol’s. Just beyond the door, flanked by his ghoulette aunts stood Duncan.

“Daddy!” Giggling, the small boy threw himself into his father’s open arms. “Daddy I’m a big boy! I poop in the potty and can come with you now! Auty Carol says so! Daddy… are you ‘kay? Daddy?”

MacCready had tried his best to hold back his tears, afraid that his crying might confuse or scare his son. Caught somewhere between sobbing and laughing he was making strange noises in his throat, almost as if he was being strangled.

“It’s ‘kay, daddy. Crying is ‘kay too.” Duncan had pulled back slightly and was now patting his father’s tear streaked cheek, “Daddy, does your tummy hurt?”

“He’s just very happy to see you, honey.” Tears ran down Carol’s face as well, “I’m Carol, you must be Wraith and Hancock. This is my wife Greta. Welcome to Underworld.” The ghoulette did a double-take, “Is that… that can’t possibly… Dogmeat?!”

“Look, Daddy! There’s a doggy! It’s a good puppy?”

“He’s… yeah buddy. He’s the best puppy.”

Deacon sat at a barstool waiting for Tulip. After their tearful reunion, MacCready and company had settled down for the night and he had separated himself to wait for his contact to close her store.

“Do you have a Geiger counter?”

“Mine’s in the shop.”

“Harley, everything is all set. The packages will be distributed by Morningstar’s courier service starting tomorrow.”

“Well, all things considered that went remarkably smooth. Kinda waiting on the other shoe…”

“It’s funny you should say that. I need your help.” Tulip lowered her voice and set her hand suggestively on Deacon’s thy. “Follow me back to the shop.”

Maintaining character, Deacon slung his arm around the ghoulette’s shoulders and leaned into her as if too drunk to walk straight, “Ohboy, I thought you’d never ashk me!”

Morningstar’s imposing presence seemed to fill the store and she leaned toward Deacon with a predatory look that reminded him of a hunting lioness, “The L&L gang is here! They’ve killed Watts.”

“Victoria…” Deacon’s mind whirled, “Who’s running the show?”

“I want you to.”

It made perfect sense. He hated it. His mind reeled back from it, “Why can’t you…”

“Don’t do that. You know why!” Nyx folded her powerful arms, “I’m way too high profile. It wouldn’t have to be permanent. We need you to whip us in to shape like you did for the Commonwealth branch. Tulip has her hands full and,” She cast an apologetic glance to the ghoulette, “she has no leadership experience. It’s you. Take a protégé if you want. Train them… but it’s you.”

“You… you got me over a barrel.”

“I promised General Wraith that I would make sure Duncan MacCready makes it safely back to Sanctuary. I will not go back on my word. I will go… you will stay.” Her eyes softened at the pain in Deacon’s pale blue eyes, “I know you and Watts went way back. I’m sorry to throw this at you now but it just happened a couple of days ago.”

“Hancock’s network had been closing in. We knew they left but we had been misdirected north. Goddamn it…”

“You’ll do a lot of good for us here. I will make sure you’re provided all necessary resources.”

“Of that I have no doubt.” Squaring his shoulders, Deacon turned to leave, “No time like the present. I’ll be off to…”

“Headquarters are still at the late, great Manya Vargas’s. Let me know when you change location… cause I know you will.”

“You’re not going to say goodbye.” All three flinched as Wraith stepped out of the shadows.

Nyx turned and took a menacing step, hands raised and ready to attack, “Bad move, General…”

“Wait! Wraith is Railroad! Or… she was…” Deacon placed himself between them, “Whisper! Wraith was Whisper!”

Nyx calmed immediately. Looking back and forth between them, she seemed to have an epiphany, “Let’s go back to the bar for a bit, Tulip.”

“Fine. If you two fight, don’t go wreaking up my shop!”

The silence was heavy, like the pressure before a thunderstorm.

Don’t… Wraith, don’t…

“Am I a child to you? Do you honestly believe you can protect me from… why wouldn’t you have told me? Hell, lie to me about the reason but fucking tell me that you’re leaving!” Wraith still had her fists clenched.

“You’re giving me permission to lie?”

Don’t… I can’t…

“I...” She seemed to deflate before his eyes, “I guess you’ve always come and go as you please.”

“You told me to leave. You told me once…”

“That was a mistake! I fucked up. Had I known better what I was doing…”

“No! You were right! You did everything and more for the Railroad… for me. You were done. Turning your focus to the Minutemen was the best decision you could have made. Just look at everything you’ve accomplished!”

Wraith shook her head, “Look at all the lives I’ve ended…”

“STOP FUCKING DOING THAT!” Deacon’s eyes flashed fire and he took an unconscious step toward her, “STOP! Don’t belittle yourself. You are the single greatest thing that’s happened to the Commonwealth… and to me.”

“You… you have no intention of coming back. Do you?” Tears streamed down her face.

“You don’t need me, Wraith. You have to let me go.”

“You’re like my brother! We… you’re my family.”

“The time has come for us to part ways.”

She lifted her arms as if to embrace him but he backed away.

Don’t hug me Wraith. I’ll… I’ll shatter. I’ll break if you hold me.

“You… you’re my friend. I love you, Deacon.” Her voice was barely a whisper.

“You don’t know me, Philippa. My name is not Deacon.” His face empty of emotion, the nameless man turned his back, opened the door and walked away.

Lie. Lie. Lie.

Thank you so much for reading! Like what you read? Looking for more? Please search my Wraith in the Ruins tag in my bio. There is a link-tree master post with all of the chapters. Questions/comments/concerns, my ask is open (anon too). I appreciate any feedback. =^..^=

#wraith in the ruins #fallout 4 #fallout fanfic #john hancock #rj maccready #fallout deacon #fallout hancock #maccready romance fanfic #hancock romance fanfic #deacon fanfic #fo4 hancock #fo4 maccready #fo4 deacon #fo4 companions #fallout 3 #the lone wanderer #fallout dogmeat

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aloice-talks-about-games · 6 years

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my view of suicide/self destruction in FNC as "atoning for the sin of their birth" isn't exactly to say that they all are consciously aware of this element in their self destructiveness, or even that shame is a primary drive for every individual i mentioned. i do think it is the majority, however, especially in XIII1 where with the exception of Bahamut, the eidolons manifest when the cast are on paths to self destruction/suicide. the fact they come from the underworld just reinforces this

(cont)

i think Sazh, Lightning, Snow and Hope were definitely motivated by shame when they (consciously or not) sought death, and then came face to face with it in the form of Death’s Eidolons. Sazh for failing his son, Lightning for failing her sister, Snow for failing his fiancee, Hope for believing he held back his family. Serah in XIII2 i think also sought death on some level as a seeress, since Lightning being “trapped in Valhalla” is a p transparent death metaphor, and it would reunite them

i’ll admit it doesn’t translate as easily to the FFXV or Type 0 cast, though suicidality is still just as prominent a theme as it was in the XIII trilogy. the fact humanity is born from suicide isn’t coincidental, though, and i think the suicide themes in all three parts of FNC are because of this. Fang/Noel are two of the only people who aren’t suicidal at all, but both on some level seek to deliver death to others, so the death theme remains (this is why bahamut attacks the WHOLE party in 13)

I respect your view of suicide/self destruction although I still disagree with it, myself. Yes, the eidolons manifest when the members are on paths to self destruction/suicide, but as Hope points out, they kind of were there to help and to pull the cast members out of their slumps, so the message is still overall a positive one. I feel like a lot of the self-destructive tendencies are pretty straightforward and unrelated to shame, sin or atonement, too, so I just find it a little hard to see your point of view.

Lightning: she risked giving up her heroism and spirit of guardianship when she considered abandoning Hope to die. Those were Lightning’s best traits and if she had lost them she would have fought head-on alone, blinded by her hate of the Sanctum and self-hatred due to the loss of her sister, until she inevitably would be overpowered. Lightning did definitely beat herself up about Serah’s predicament and could have died fighting to get her sister back, but I would not call her actions primarily suicidal or motivated by shame.

Sazh: he risked losing himself to despair and hate by either shooting Vanille, or shooting himself, and he explicitly failed to do neither of those things. He might have contemplated death for not being able to protect his son or even avenge his (then terrible) fate, but he knew that was not what he really wanted.

Hope: Hope risked losing himself to his compassionate, self-sacrificial side that didn’t want to bring his loved ones down by forcing them to cover for his weaknesses. Hope was the most defiant of the group after Lightning - he would have been the last person to say that humans had to “atone” for the “sins of their birth,” he was always the one who believed that humans deserved to live and flourish and the Fal’Cie and gods were at fault for playing them like pawns. (And even after Bhunivelze broke him, eventually, he still played the chess game against the God with Lightning as his queen and ultimately won.)

Vanille: Vanille risked being overwhelmed by the weight of the secret and history she carried, but she was in pain in the first place because she cared for the lives and culture of the other (Cocoon) so to speak and felt terrible for unwittingly destroying the lives of people like Serah and Sazh, which is… really a very human thing instead of some kind of primal sin. Vanille does have suicidal tendencies especially in LR, but that’s because she thinks her entire human existence has only brought pain onto others, nevermind that her life has never been her own to control. She wants human agency over her own human life and powers - she’s not doing anything for any God or fate, she’s just doing what a small girl can against all the stacked decks of God and fate.

Fang: Fang risked something similar to Lightning, aka, becoming too absorbed in her own mission that she wouldn’t allow anyone else in and to support her. I don’t think the Bahamut scene was really set up to be all that different from the Alexander scene in who he seemed to be attacking, and if anything, Bahamut attacking the whole party made sense to mock the mistake Fang was just about to make (turning on/leaving the party because she didn’t agree with their goals). Fang, in her eidolon scene, was in as much of a path to destroy herself as everybody else in their eidolon scenes - I don’t think anyone in XIII really actively wanted to die (LR!Snow and LR!Vanille did, but that’s another matter entirely).

Snow: Snow risked tunnel visioning on his goal (staying by Serah’s crystal instead of going on the l’Cie journey with the party) and dying by being overwhelmed. Why would Snow remotely want to die when there’s still a chance that Serah and Cocoon could still be saved? The man will go down fighting until the world and his beloved are both literally unsalvageable (cough, LR).

Noel… I mean, we don’t see much of Noel in LR, but we do know that he moped heavily and needed a whole fake oracle drive to keep him motivated. Once he saw the oracle drive though… he had hope. It’s all about the world and Yeul to him.

TLDR: Yes I agree that the eidolons save the cast from self-destruction, yet I think their self-destructive tendencies are all exceedingly human. Humans were created after Etro’s suicide, but few still knew of Etro or cared to do exactly as she wished or exemplified. Caius perhaps embodied Etro’s suicidality the most, but even then, he pursued that goal out of his very human emotion to die and to release Yeul from her curse of eternity.

#ffxiii #Hope Estheim #Lightning Farron #Oerba Yun Fang #Oerba Dia Vanille #Snow Villiers #sazh katzroy #tw: suicide

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schraubd · 6 years

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David's Personal Top Ten Video Games

This is something I've been wanting to do for a long time. It is a personal list, reflecting the games that have stuck with me the most over the years. I'm not enough of a gamer to claim it is anything comprehensive, and it has a strong bias to the sorts of genres that I like. Nonetheless, I'd stack these games against any that have been made in my lifetime. Anyway, without further adieu ....

Honorable Mentions:

Portal 2: How can a game with virtually no “dialogue” (if that means conversations between two characters) have some of the best spoken lines in all video game history? I have both the original and a capella versions of the Turret Opera on my iTunes (yes, I have “Still Alive” as well).

Railroad Tycoon II: A brilliant simulator that makes you actually feel like a turn-of-the-century robber baron (by far, the game is most fun to play when set in the late 19th century). If every man goes through his “trains!” phase, this was mine. As in real life, I am not good at playing the stock market.

Horizon: Zero Dawn: Robot dinosaurs! Incredibly, Horizon: Zero Dawn takes a core concept that sounds like word association from an over-caffeinated twelve-year boy and makes an entirely serious game about it—and it works. It works so well, in fact, that I loved it despite the fact that the plot and entire world-building background centers around my single greatest phobia (no, not that—being alive for the extinction of humanity).

10. Sid Meier’s Gettysburg: I find it odd that very few games have sought to replicate Gettysburg’s spin on an RTS—focusing combat around regiments rather than individual units and prioritizing morale over raw numbers. But the thing I like best about Gettysburg—and sadly it’s mostly unique too—is in how it concentrates on controlling territory (and terrain). Many RTS games, for me, might as well have a blank screen over 80% of the map between my base and my opponent’s base. You build up your force, and then try to swarm your opponent before he or she swarms you. But in Gettysburg, the goal of missions is not “wipe out your opposition”. It’s to capture and hold a ridge, or dig in and hold an exposed farmhouse.

My only critiques are that I want this game to be bigger. I want it to encompass dozens of map spanning the entirety of the Civil War. I want to be able memorize even more obscure Union and Confederate generals and wonder if they really were “mediocre” or if that was just a game balance decision. The random battle generator is okay, but this game screams for user-created expansions which I’ve never been able to find.

9. Crimson Skies: A pulpy fun flight simulator taking place in an alternate history 1930s where America has fractured and Zeppelin travel rules the day. The game doesn’t hesitate to lean into its concept (phrases like “broad” and “floozy” abound), and it does a great job world-building in a relatively short period of time. Somehow, I could meet an enemy “ace” for the first time in the middle of a mission and yet still feel like we had a history of epic dogfights together of which this was only the latest. Meanwhile, each of the locations the game takes you to (Hawaii, the Pacific Northwest, Hollywood, the Rocky Mountains, and New York City) are a blast and a half.

A sequel, High Road to Revenge, was released on Xbox and leaned a little too hard into the arcade-y elements (power-ups, automatic evasive maneuvers with the press of a button, and so on). But the original PC game was just right—planes flew exactly like how someone who knows nothing about planes thinks planes fly, which is just perfect. You felt like an ace pilot because of your skill (even though behind the hood the game is really holding your hand). Piloting a gyrocopter through half-built New York City skyscrapers, or a prototype single-engine through the Hollywood "O", is great. Doing it to evade local security, then doing a loop and turning both guns on them -- well, that's the cat's meow.

8. Mass Effect (Trilogy and Andromeda): As far as I’m concerned, the definitive space opera (even muscling out Halo). Fabulous voice acting (listening to Martin Sheen play evil Jed Bartlett is one of the great joys of my life) and memorable plot lines pair with a morality system that at least inches away from “basically decent person or utter asshole.” The universe feels genuinely alive, like there’s an ecosystem and civilization that you’re very much apart, but also moves in your absence.

I can’t really separate out the core trilogy games from one another (each sequel seemed to simultaneously step slightly forward and back), which is not I think an uncommon position. What may be more uncommon is that I think Andromeda stands right in there with the core series. Yes, it was disappointing that it took us to a brand new galaxy and only gave us two new species (while eliminating many of the more backgrounded Milky Way aliens). But I was much more disappointed that there will be no DLC or sequels to continue the story and tie up loose ends.

7. N and N++: There can’t be any serious controversy that N is the greatest Flash game ever made. While Flash demands simplicity, N is not so much simple as it is elegant. It is the perfect balance of speed and control, thoughtfulness and twitch-trigger reflexes, serene relaxation and butt-clenching tension. Once you master the floaty physics and the unique enemy styles, you will truly feel like a ninja—stripped to its core essence and deprived of all the usual but unnecessary bells and whistles. A virtually unlimited supply of levels guarantees you endless gameplay.

And so it is unsurprising that N was one of the rare flash games that made a successful jump to a full true game (in the form of N++), one that has a strong claim on being the greatest platformer ever made. The developers were wise not to disturb the basic formula: run, jump, and slide around a level, dodge obstacles and traps that will kill you instantly, reach the exit. Repeat ad infinitum. But N++ adds just a splash of additional flavors and spices into the mix. A perfect trip-trance soundtrack that sets the mood perfectly (and may single-handedly stave off keyboard-smashing frustration). A few new enemy types that deepen the game without ruining its austere grace. And perhaps most importantly, it adds a bunch of extra, semi-secret challenges (which can be used to unlock still more levels) waiting for the very best-of-best players.

Of all the games on this list, I might be in absolute terms “best” at N++ (there are a non-trivial number of levels in the game where I have a top 100 or even top 10 score on the global leaderboards). And yet there is not the slightest chance that I will ever perfect this game, or even come close to it. Nor is there any chance I will become permanently sick of it. A simple concept, executed brilliantly. The perfect N++ level is also the perfect description of the game.

6. Final Fantasy IX: The question was never whether a Final Fantasy game would make this list, only which one. I’ve long had a soft-spot for FFIX, which I feel is often overlooked inside the series (in part because even on release it seemed players were already looking ahead to the Playstation 2). Yet it’s hard to find fault in Final Fantasy IX as an emblem of a straight-forward JRPG. It has a moving story, fun gameplay, beautiful music, loads of quests to do and places to explore, a fabulous supporting cast (Vivi might be my favorite Final Fantasy character ever written), and a lead character you don’t want to punch (*cough* Final Fantasy X).

Final Fantasy IX is often described as “nostalgic”, and despite the fact that it was only the second game in the series I had ever played, I got that feeling instantly. Try listening to the soundtrack for “Frontier Village Dali” without feeling a little melancholic. You don’t even have to have played. But I recommend that you do.

For the record, my ranking of Final Fantasy games that I’ve played goes: IX, VII, XII, XV, X, XIII.

5. Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood: One difficulty in judging games within a series is how to compare an earlier game which still had some rough edges but represented a quantum leap forward versus a later game which didn’t do anything super-novel but tweaked the formula to perfection. That, in a nutshell, is the difference between Assassin’s Creed II and Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood. Now, for me, this is an easy call for idiosyncratic reasons—I played AC:B before AC II, and so I experienced the former as both the perfected model and the quantum leap forward as compared to the original game. But I respect that for those who played the series in order, this is a harder call.

What should be easy for anyone is to agree that together, Assassin’s Creed II and Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood represented the AC series reaching its full potential. Ezio continues to be the best protagonist the series has seen to date. Renaissance Italy likewise is the ideal setting for both AC’s vertical and horizontal platforming elements and its shadowy-conspiracy/secret-history plotline. As a franchise, Assassin’s Creed really launched the parkour/open-world exploration genre, and Brotherhood was the first game where every single element of what that genre could be came together. Other more recent games have been tons of fun (Black Flag and Syndicate are I think highlights), but these two games are the reason this series is so iconic.

4. Might and Magic VI: The same problem posed by AC2 versus Brotherhood emerges with Might and Magic VI and VII—except here, I did play them in order. Like the previous entry, I do think that VII ultimately improves upon the formula set out in Might and Magic VI. It’s more versatile, has more replay value, a touch more balanced (and that’s not getting into ArcoMage) … all in all, probably a better technical game.

But Might and Magic VI is for me iconic—it may well be the first RPG I’ve ever truly loved (and given the way this list is stacked in that direction, that’s saying a lot). Virtually all the things that characterize what I love in games today, it had in at least skeletal form. Open world exploration? Check: It was the first game where I felt like I was a true pathfinder—meticulously crawling over every corner of the map to find each obscure bandit’s cave and goblin fortress. To this day I still have the lay of the land in Enroth basically memorized. Overly detailed worldbuilding text to read? Absolutely: my obsessive-streak came out in reading every single artifact description, conversational option, and quest backgrounder (it is canon that Enroth, and the entire planet it resides upon, was blown up in a magical explosion—a fact I’m still resentful towards 3DO for long after it disappeared into bankruptcy). Slight genre-bending? The splash of Sci-Fi onto the fantasy setting was delightful to discover for someone who had never played any of the prior entries in the series. And some of the music—well, the White Cap theme is a thing of beauty, and on my computer “Adagio in G Minor for Strings and Organ” is still listed as “Church Dungeon Music.”

3. Heroes of Might and Magic III: If comparing earlier, more revolutionary games against newer more polished ones presents a problem in the Assassin’s Creed and Might and Magic series, it presents no trouble at all in Heroes of Might & Magic. That’s because the third installation in the series both represented a huge jump forward from what came before and is unquestionably the best entry in the overall sequence.

Sure, some of the expansions are a bit goofy, but they still work—sharpshooters and enchanters are massively overpowered, but they’re generally used in missions that would otherwise be impossible. But the main campaign is fabulous—a surprisingly intricate and interwoven plot that bridges Might and Magic VI and VII compliments outstanding strategy gameplay. And that doesn’t even get into the acre of standalone maps provided, plus countless more available on the web thanks to a map editor so intuitive, even I can use it (I’m terrible with map editors).

As a result of all of this, Heroes III is maybe the only game on this list that can compete with N++ regarding infinite replayability. This is fortunate, because—given the fact that Heroes III was a full-budget release and was not supposed to be “simple”—it ages incredibly well. Even the graphics hold up (no need for that remastered remake—which doesn’t even include the expansions!).

2. Witcher III: As you may have noticed, this list has a strong bias towards RPGs. My preference is toward “Western” RPGs (which have a go-anywhere/do-anything exploration mentality) compared to “Japanese” RPGs (which are more linear and story-driven), but Witcher III does an incredible job of synthesizing the best of both. It has a huge open world to explore, one that feels alive and dynamic—but there is also an incredibly rich story filled with deep, well-written characters (of which Geralt—the player character—is but one).

Gameplay-wise, Witcher III really hits the perfect balance. I simultaneously felt like the biggest bad-ass in the room, but also like a single slip in concentration or bit of overconfidence and my corpse would unceremoniously end up at the bottom of whatever cave I was in. But Witcher III particularly stands out in how it subverts certain common RPG tropes. You are a hero, but you’re not particularly well-liked. You’re a powerful warrior, but you’re still ultimately treated as a pawn in larger political machinations. Your interventions do not always save the day, and sometimes don’t even make things better. If a mission starts with a villager worrying that their beloved has gone missing, nine times out of ten that person has been devoured by a monster well before you ever get there. While many games claim to place the hero in difficult moral dilemmas, Witcher III is a rare case of following through (some games might give you the choice to let a trio of witches eat a group of kids whom you recently played hide-and-seek with, but few make it so that might actually be the more moral of the options in front of you). There’s even a quest where you help a knight rescue a lady in distress from a curse, then lecture him that he’s not entitled to her romantic attention as a reward (talk about a timely intervention in the video game genre!). Over and over again, the game reinforces the message that being really powerful and doing “the right thing” isn’t enough to fix a fundamentally broken system.

Most impressive is the emotional impact that Witcher III dishes out. Sometimes this is a result of rich character development that pays off over the course of the entire game (as in “The Last Wish” quest). But sometimes it shows up in even relatively minor sidequests—the epilogue of the “Black Pearl” quest was one of the more brutal emotional gut-punches I’ve experienced in a video game. Ultimately, this was a game where one always felt like each character was a person—they were imperfect, they had their own interests, hopes, dreams, strengths and foibles, and while you were a little better with a sword and gifted with some preternatural abilities, you were still only one player in a much bigger narrative. As a result, Witcher III might well be, in my estimation, the perfect RPG.

Oh, and Gwent is ludicrously addictive. Let’s not forget that.

1. TIE Fighter: I don’t think this list has a particularly “modern” bias. Still, there’s something impressive about the number one game on this list also being the oldest by some measure. TIE Fighter originally came out in 1994, and the definitive Collector’s Edition was released in 1995. It is, to this day, one of the best games ever made. And that’s not a retrospective assessment. Star Wars: Tie Fighter holds up even played right now.

For starters, it is one of the few elements of the Star Wars universe to get the Empire right. I’m not saying that the Empire is the real protagonist of the series. I am saying that they wouldn’t view themselves as evil—as much as naming spacecraft “Executor” and “Death Star” might suggest otherwise. TIE Fighter is quite self-assured in presenting you as being a force for law and order in the galaxy, battling not just seditious rebels but pirates, smugglers, and other anarchic forces that threaten to tear civilized life apart.

Let’s start with something often overlooked in TIE Fighter: the music. It’s probably the only context that the phrase “kick-ass MIDI soundtrack” makes sense. But that’s not even the half of it. The iMuse system dynamically and seamlessly arranges the musical cues to reflect what’s going on around you in the mission—you can literally follow important mission updates (e.g., a wingman being shot down, or reinforcements arriving) simply by the way the melody shifts. I’m not sure I’ve ever encountered anything quite like it since. To this day, the number that accompanies an incoming enemy capital ship fills me with exhilarated dread.

Gameplay-wise, TIE Fighter is almost shockingly rich. The core mission requirements are challenging, but by no means out of reach. But embedded in each level are a series of secondary and secret bonus objectives. These unlock a parallel plot of the Emperor’s Secret Order—but always present a brutal risk/reward calculus. That’s not unrelated to the fact that you’re often flying, well, TIE fighters (not noted for their durability)—but the challenge extends well beyond physical peril. TIE Fighter actually gives you an “invincibility” option if you want it, and yet even with it on some of the later missions and bonus objectives will strain every piloting skill you’ve ever developed.

Most importantly, the secret objectives usually are more involved than “blow up everything in sight.” They reward initiative and exploration. Maybe your primary mission objective is to destroy a rebel space station. But just before it goes down, you spot an escape shuttle fleeing the station. Take it out? Maybe—but maybe the occupants are VIPs best taken alive. So you switch to ion cannons and disable it for capture. Yet that extra time you just spent has given the rebels enough breathing room to summon reinforcements—now an enemy cruiser is bearing down on you. Take out its missile launchers and clear path for bombers while praying that your own Star Destroyer will arrive soon to back you up. All on the fly. All while dogfighting starfighters, dodging mines, giving your wingmen orders … it’s insanely, beautifully chaotic.

Did I mention this is all happening in 1995? 90% of games released today don’t have that kind of depth or spontaneity. In terms of playability, replayability, and just plain fun, TIE Fighter stands alone, and unchallenged.

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districtfourmermaid · 7 years

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Hunger Games Tarot Deck

Guys. I want to design a Hunger Games tarot deck. I think it’d be a fun project. I’ve spent some time deciding which characters, events, and symbols to cast as each card of the Major Arcana and the court cards for the suits. I’ll put my matches with explanations under a Read More. If you like the Hunger Games, like Tarot, or like both (wowie!), let me know what you think, what your first impressions are, etc.

0. The Fool – Prim

o Like the Fool, Prim represents innocence and embarking on new journeys in uncharted territory. She grows and matures through the books like the Fool does through the story of the Major Arcana. She protects and is emotionally supported by her animal companions as the Fool has his dog in the traditional card. She quickly learns the skills of medicine (the Fool as he represents personal growth) and takes the risk to become a medic on the front lines without fear.

I. The Magician – Cinna

o Like the Magician, Cinna represents creative power and the ability to manifest ideas of the spiritual realm in the physical realm. He can do anything, and his art speaks with a higher message. He is optimistic and a man of action who chose to take on a difficult District for his designing because he knew he could transform it.

II. The High Priestess – Mags

o Like the High Priestess, Mags represents wisdom, serenity, and a link to the subconscious/spiritual side. She protects and guides Finnick and Annie in District 4 and then Katniss and others in the Quarter Quell as a grandmotherly figure. Due to her speech impediment, she is not always understood in verbal communication, so she communicates in other ways, often in leading by example. She has the energy of a higher plane. The High Priestess also can represent a life change and reminder to not take things for granted, like when Mags sacrifices herself and Finnick loses her. This moment is also a puzzle-like sign to Katniss that the rebels are helping her even though she is not consciously aware of it.

III. The Empress – Effie

o Like the Empress, Effie represents beauty, abundance, and femininity. She becomes a motherly figure to Katniss and Peeta over the course of the books. She is nurturing and caring for them. The close bond she and Katniss eventually form and how she is missing through most of Mockingjay only to return at the end, seemingly spending the whole time in the wilderness on the run on her own, is like the new ideas and ways of being represented by the Empress because it is unexpected for her character in the beginning. She is creative and vibrant in her self-expression.

IV. The Emperor – President Snow

o Like the Emperor, President Snow represents authority, and rigid structure. He has a family he provides for and protects. He is pragmatic and manipulative, using any means to achieve his ends, and he has successfully held the presidency for a long time. He also has his mundane passions like the rose garden. He is of high status and requires a lot from people in order to be impressed. Reversed especially, the Emperor represents an overly dominating leader.

V. The Hierophant – President Coin

o Like the Hierophant, President Coin represents group conformity and tradition. Reversed, the Hierophant highlights the restrictive nature of tradition. Coin’s rule of District 13 is like a religion with strict rules and lacking in individuality or frivolity.

VI. The Lovers – Finnick and Annie

o Finnick and Annie are the one uncontested, overtly loving, soul mate-type couple in the books. The Lovers represent good communication, which Finnick and Annie have, as well as trust, strength, and confidence in a relationship. The Lovers also represents choices, choosing whether to stay in a situation or leave it, and that is a choice Finnick and Annie have to make every day when they are put into difficult situations where their love becomes a tool to be used against them.

VII. The Chariot – Johanna

o Like the Chariot, Johanna represents conquest and control over one’s life. While Finnick chose to stay with Annie despite the difficulties it brought him, Johanna chose to go. There is no one left that she loves, but she is free and in control of herself. She is determined and disciplined, training for the Capitol invasion in Mockingjay even though she is still recovering from being tortured, even training in the rain despite her hydrophobia. She becomes stronger by overcoming every challenge thrown her way.

VIII. Strength – Gale

o Like the card, Gale’s strength is a controlled strength. He is passionate but patient. He has drive but also compassion. He has both physical and mental strength, which empowers him to be a good leader. He works by hunting and mining to provide for his family and Katniss’s when she is in the 74th Games. He helps train Katniss, Peeta, and Haymitch before the Quarter Quell, and he helps 800 District 12 citizens survive the bombing. He led people to break down the fence at the weak point and keeps them alive in the wilderness for three days. He is a rebel leader in District 13. Strength as a card represents the balance of an animalistic nature and taming your inner beasts, and Gale has a truly balanced sense of strength.

IX. The Hermit – Haymitch

o Like the Hermit reversed, Haymitch begins the books as the representation of withdrawal and isolation. He is lonely. But over the course of the trilogy, he becomes more of a hermit by positive choice. Not withdrawing in order to not be hurt, just because it is more comfortable in the quietness. He is Katniss’s Mentor in and out of the arena, guiding her through life’s challenges by offering words of wisdom and sparking introspection.

X. The Wheel of Fortune – Reaping Ball

o Like the Wheel of Fortune, the balls of tickets at the Reapings represent chance, luck, and destiny. It is a weighted chance and unfair due to the economic incentive of tesserae, but so is life. And no matter how many times a name is in the ball, it has at least some chance to be selected. Anything can happen. And every year, the names change, but the balls are the same, and ever-present, representing the circle of life. The Wheel of Fortune also represents a turning point and when reversed can represent bad luck or a lack of control.

XI. Justice - President Paylor

o The only just and fair president Panem has had in a long time, Commander Paylor, like Justice, represents balance and an awareness of the long term affects of decisions. She can see clearly the state of Panem as a country because she is from the Districts. She is not biased by a Capitol or District 13 view, but knows the truth of District life and the needs of the people. She is able to rule with just law.

XII. The Hanged Man – Peeta

o Like the Hanged Man, Peeta is the king of self-sacrifice. Almost to a fault as would be represented in the reversed Hanged Man’s martyrdom and delay. Peeta is rather shy in the beginning. He holds himself back into order to support others from the shadows. He’s a person of words, not action. He willingly sacrifices himself, valuing Katniss’s life over his own.

XIII. Death – Rue with flowers

o Like the Death card, Rue and her death scene represent transition and the cycle of beginnings and endings. She was so young and full of bright potential, but she died as the Games’ audience knew she would, as the rules of the Games mandated. There is no escaping Death. Her death scene, as Katniss made it in a memorial and as it was televised, sparked a transition in District attitude. It incited people to rise up and avenge her, to fight against the Capitol and take action. It is a turning point, the beginning for the rebellion in the Districts.

XIV. Temperance – Katniss

o Like Temperance, Katniss represents moderation and patience. Katniss is adaptive to her environments and circumstances. She gathers information before taking action and can take that action in a mindful way. With friends both in District 12 and the Capitol, she is a bridge between the higher and lower planes. She understands the needs and fears of people and both sides. She is at peace in the quiet forest and likes things simple and functional. Temperance also represents a life change following a re-evaluation of your priorities, which Katniss goes through as the revolution grows, her goals changing from protecting herself and her family to protecting all of Panem.

XV. The Devil – Caesar

o Like the Devil, Caesar Flickerman is the embodiment of the Capitol values of materialism and excess. He is overly made up with flashing outfits and hair. His face is altered with cosmetic surgery, which seems even more compulsory in Capitol culture than our own, tying into the Devil representing addiction and bondage. Caesar and the rest of the Capitol are bound by their shallow culture, unwilling to take the risk to escape it even though they could. Like a vampire, Caesar profits off the sensationalization of the Games and the stories of the Tributes being sent to their deaths.

XVI. The Tower – The Bombing of 12

o The Tower represents a sudden disaster leading to a major change. It represents physical destruction as well as a realization of truth that throws you from a place of comfort when that comfort was built on something false. District 12 was a home but it was never really safe. Its demise was terrible, but those who survived were freed and able to find a new home in District 13 and in the revolution.

XVII. The Star – Katniss as the Mockingjay

o Like the Star, Katniss as the Mockingjay represents hope and inspiration. She is renewal in that she calls for an overturning of the old, stagnant, corrupt government of the Capitol in favor of one run by the people. She gives people the spirit to stand even in the darkest and most miserable of times. She gives herself hope, even, in that she did not believe she had such an effect, but she really does. By persevering through struggle, her image transforms Panem.

XVIII. The Moon – Lavinia the Avox

o The Moon is a card of illusion and insecurity. It is fear from the past projected onto the present or future. Katniss blames herself for Lavina’s capture by the Capitol. She and Gale did not help Lavinia and the man she’d been with in the woods outside 12, but the truth is that they could not. Katniss fears Lavinia holds a grudge, and the memory haunts her. “You never forget the face of the person who was your last hope.” Katniss has to get over that guilt and get over her fear of inaction lest it distract her in the Games. Lavinia herself is also a great mystery as we do not know who she was before attempting to flee, why she fled, who the man was, or how they knew about 13 if that is where they were going. Peeta also covers for Katniss’s recognition by saying she looks like Delly Cartwright, a deception.

XIX. The Sun – The Buck Outside 13

o Katniss and Gale are the first hunters the woods outside District 13 ever experience. They approach a large buck, but it does not fear them. It does not know to fear them. It has lived its life in peace. With the sun shining on it, it is a symbol of vitality as well as positivity. It is pure. Hunting in the woods with Gale is also the only time Katniss ever feels herself, relaxed, and happy. District 12 is gone, but she is able to have that experience again in District 13, representing how the warmth of the sun can be found wherever she goes, even after hardship and loss.

XX. Judgement – Commander Boggs

o Like Judgement, Commander Boggs represents self-reflection and Katniss’s inner calling. He works for Coin, but he can see her deviousness and helps Katniss in her mission to kill Snow even though it is not Coin’s plan. He is mature and a good judge of right and wrong. He allows Katniss and Gale to get away with putting themselves in more dangerous but more effective situations while filming propos, putting up minimal resistance when they disobey Coin. When he tells Katniss of Coin’s true motives behind sending Peeta to kill her, but reassuring her that he will see to it that she lives a long life, he brings her to the full understanding of her role as the Mockingjay while also reminding her of the worth of her life. She can’t keep sacrificing herself for the cause or for others. He is representative of rebirth and an epiphany moment when he names Katniss in charge of the Holo.

XXI. The World – A Victor’s Wreath

o The World represents the completion of a journey, accomplishment, and personal growth. It is fulfillment of goals worked hard for. A Victor goes through so many trials and hardships between training and the Games, but once they have their crown, they can relax. The nightmare is behind them, and they can live out the rest of their life in peace, having learned and grown from their experiences. Victors later become Mentors. They travel around Panem in their Victory tour and return regularly to the Capitol. They pass on knowledge to the next rounds of Tributes.

Cups - Emotions - Water

Page – The Prep Team

o Like the Page of Cups, the prep team (Venia, Flavius, and Octavia) are showy, flamboyant, and have a keen sense of style. They are emotionally vibrant, being greatly excited to be dressing Katniss before the Quell announcement and crying over her afterward. Their role in Katniss’s life causes her to think heavily on her emotions and attitudes about people in the Capitol. They are childlike from Katniss’s perspective and eager to please, always wishing to make Katniss look her best.

Knight – Finnick

o Like the Knight of Cups, Finnick is the intersection of Fire and Water. He has a magnetic charisma and bright personality, but he is also extremely protective of those close to him and a romantic. He puts on a show and comes off as a peacock, but underneath it all, he is actually very clever. He is aware of people’s motives and goals and uses words moreso than swords as his weapon.

Queen – Annie

o Like the Queen of Cups, Annie is associated with the ocean and tides, often lost in her own head. Like the tides, she has her highs and lows. She gives the impression of being somewhere far away in her mind and not totally present in the moment. Through Finnick, she knows everyone’s secrets. She’s beautiful, loving, dreamy, and mysterious, though easily distracted and, although very likable, can be isolated without Finnick to help her feel at ease around other people she isn’t close with.

King – Mr. Everdeen

o Like the King of Cups, Katniss and Prim’s father, Mr. Everdeen, was a man who valued intelligence, the arts, and communication. A teacher, he taught Katniss to hunt, to craft bows and arrows, and to swim. Crafting bows and arrows requires great precision and technique. He was a singer respected by the mockingjays. And he was a lover and good husband, good enough to earn the love of Mrs. Everdeen and for her to leave her upper-class life to be with him. As Katniss works to keep her family alive, her father’s memory is her guide and her rock.

Swords – Thought - Air

Page – Wiress

o Like the Page of Swords, Wiress has an eye for natural order and can discern fine details of a situation, like noticing the chink in the forcefield in the Training Center. She is dreamy, flighty, and easily distracted, often trailing off in the middle of sentences. But she is a genius and inventor and can focus when needed. Her energy is both awkwardly anxious and calmly assuring.

Knight – Thresh

o Like the Knight of Swords, Thresh has great integrity and a sense of righteousness. He is a strategist and does well for himself in the 74th Games until Cato kills him. His values are important to him, but so are his end goals, so he spares Katniss’s life in honor of Rue but makes it clear that this is a one-time deal. He shows more by his actions than his words. He has a noble energy and is young but rugged. If he has fear, he does not show it.

Queen – Enobaria

o Like the Queen of Swords, Enobaria is an accomplished woman who won’t let you forget it. She sharpened and guilded her teeth to be reminiscent of how she won her Games. To be a Victor, one must be both physically strong and skilled as well as mentally sharp. Unlike the other Victors, Enobaria smiles and looks enthusiastic when the Tributes of the Quell join hands at the interview, showing an underlying disposition for kindness, though at other times, she is mostly serious and focused. Her presence fills a room with authority and dignity. She knows who she is and is proud.

King – Beetee

o Like the King of Swords, Beetee is intellectual, inventive, and deeply involved with science, mathematics, and philosophy. He is compassionate and considerate. When he designs new weapons for Katniss and her team, he takes each person’s needs and personality into account, not just what would make a good weapon but what would make a good weapon for them. He is objective and fair with a grandfatherly energy.

Pentacles – (Mockingjay Pins) – Money – Earth

Page – Madge

o Like the Page of Pentacles, Madge is a comfortable presence. She is highly educated, and as the Mayor’s daughter, she has access to additional resources like piano lessons and information about the politics of other Districts. She is open to different sorts of people, befriending Katniss when others were intimidated by her, and understands relationships well. Her comment to Gale about looking nice for the Capitol on Reaping Day was unclear in if it was a joke or sincere, but its intentional ambiguity in her tone shows how she understands that her being Reaped is unlikely but not impossible. She’s aware of the imbalances of their culture.

Knight – Cato

o Like the Knight of Pentacles, Cato has a plan for success and is determined to see it through. As leader of the career pack, he takes on a lot of responsibility but is comfortable with it. He’s a natural leader though a little bossy. He is protective of those close to him. He goes about things in the simple, traditional way, the way he was taught in his Career upbringing. He was raised for the Games, so he knows how to win them, with pragmatism and hard work.

Queen – Portia

o Like the Queen of Pentacles, Portia is one to take care of those in her charge and deeply connected to her partner, Cinna. They work on the Parade outfits together, working through the night and bouncing ideas off each other. She is a woman of luxurious style. She is most involved during major festivities as Peeta’s stylist. Outside of that, she is still encouraging and reassuring to him in a motherly fashion.

King – Plutarch

o Like the King of Pentacles, Plutarch is a businessman who sees the big picture and works towards his end one step at a time. His sights are set high, and he has the personality to fit in with Presidents Snow, Coin, and Paylor, working his way through the ranks and maintaining a high position even as rule of Panem changes hands.

Wands – Arrows – Fire

Page – Cressida

o Like the Page of Wands, Cressida is creative and visionary and really knows what she’s doing. She knows exactly how to shoot a propo, from script to setting to shot angle to editing, for it to deliver the intended message. When she makes something, it is of the highest quality. Compared to other Capitolites, she is down to earth. She is a rebel who left the Capitol even though she was not in immediate danger; she was just inspired by the Mockingjay and saw the corruption and restriction of the Capitol, which did not mesh with her free spirit.

Knight – Darius

o Like the Knight of Wands, Darius is bold and wild. For a Peacekeeper especially, he is audacious, telling Katniss he’d trade a kiss for a squirrel, but that was a deal because his kisses are worth two squirrels. He is high spirited, but this can sometimes get him into trouble as he does not always consider what is best for himself, like when he tried to protect Gale from Thread’s whipping and was made an avox for it.

Queen – Hazelle Hawthorne

o Like the Queen of Wands, Hazelle Hawthorne keeps a sense of harmony around. She is incredibly resilient and patient, raising her children after her husband’s death all on her own, and keeps a realistically positive attitude. She is a mediator, accepting food from Katniss even knowing Gale is too proud to take the help but does so in a way that keeps the peace. Even through poverty and hardship, she is elegant and poised.

King – Mayor Undersee

o Like the King of Wands, Mayor Undersee values the words of his people. He worked to make District 12 a safer, more harmonious place by decreasing public punishments for crimes. He seems to ignore the existence of the Hob and regularly buys strawberries for Katniss because he is aware that many more of his people would starve to death without such bends of the law. In this way, he is progressive and generous.

#hunger games #tarot #fandom tarot #major arcana #court cards #meaning #hg tarot

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mariespeaksg-dsgrace · 5 years

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The calming of the storm....(aka marine kingdom?)

Bible Study Saturday!!!

Book of Matthew

8: 23-27

Verses typed out, as written in: The New Jerusalem Bible. The complete text of Ancient Cannon of the Scriptures with up-to-date introductions and notes.

Book of Matthew Chapter 8

Calming of the storm

23.24.. Then He got onto the boat followed by His disciples. Suddenly a storm broke over the lake, so violent that the boat was being swamped by the waves. But He was asleep.

25. So they went to Him and woke Hime saying, “Save us, Lord, we are lost!”

26. So He said to them, “Why are you so frightened, you who have so little faith?” And then He stood up and and rebuke the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm.

27. They were astounded and said, “ Whatever kind of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him?”

Praise God on High!

The Thanksgiving Hymns

(retrieved from: Penguin Classics, The Complete Dead Sea Scrolls in English; pg 251, Translated with an introduction, by Geza Vermes)

I purchased this book of my own means and I am not paid to endorse or affiliated: https://read.amazon.com/kp/embed?asin=B005VEEL46&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_.LW2CbZBCD66Y

Hymn 3 (formerly 25)

[I thank Thee, o Lord, for] Thou didst shed [Thy] Holy Spirit upon Thy Servant

v (formerly XIII)

All these things [Thou didst establish in Thy wisdom. Thou didst appoint] all Thy works before ever creating them:

the host of Thy spirits and the Congregation [of Thy Holy Ones, the heavens and all] their hosts and the earth and all it brings forth.

In the seas and deeps…and an everlasting task; for thou Hast established them from before eternity.

And the work of… and they shall recount Thy glory. throughtout all Thy domination

For Thou hast shown that which they had not [seen by removing all] ancient things and creating news ones, by breaking asunder things anciently established, and raising up the things of eternity. For [Thou art from the beginning]

And shalt endure for ages without end. And Thou hast [appointed all these things in mysteries of Thy wisdom to make known Thy glory [to all]

[But what is] the spirit of flesh that it should understand all this, and that it should comprehend the great [design Thy wisdom]?

What is he that is born of woman in the midst of all Thy terrible [works]? He is but an edifice of dust, and a thing kneaded with water, whose beginning [is sinful iniquity], and shameful nakedness, [and a fount of uncleanness], and over whom a spirit of straying rules, If he is wicked he shall become [a sign for] ever, and wonder to (every) generation, [and an object of horror to all] flesh.

By Thy goodness alone is man righteous, and with Thy many mercies [Thou strengthens him]. Thou wilt adorn him with Thy splendor and wilt adorn him with Thy splendor and wilt [cause him to regain amid] many delights with everlasting peace and length of days. [For Thou hast spoken], and Thou wilt not take back Thy word.

And I, Thy servant, I know by the spirit which Thou hast given to me [that Thy words are truth], and that all righteousness, and that Thou wilt not take back Thy word…

We pray this Forever and ever, in the name of our almighty savior; Yeshua Jesus Christ.

Amen.

Matthew chapter 8 verses 23.24. Then He got onto the boat followed by His disciples. Suddenly a storm broke over the lake, so violent that the boat was being swamped by the waves. But He was asleep.

For those who don’t have much knowledge or much awareness on the marine kingdom.

***Now I am not an expert by any means; I have research a little regarding the spiritual realms.

I will say however, for those that would like to do their own research; there is an abundance of information on the internet and many books, published on this topic. I have yet, to research the authors and sources. Therefore, I don’t feel confident in suppling a source for this. I however, have had my own experiences and those I do feel comfortable sharing. Please keep in mind, I am still in the learning process this. Thank you in advance for understanding. Blessings.***

What I have learned or experienced, regarding the marine kingdom is the following:

The marine kingdom typically attacks a person in their sleep. Why their in their sleep? Because, during our sleep persons are more compliant. Most people (including myself at times) don’t know that during their sleep they can actually be active participants. In their sleep(dreams) most people, during their; simply go along with the storyline…..for lack of better words.

If one is sleeping: and one has dreams of being seduced (just seduced or coupled with) while in water.

(for example: a bath tub or pool or hot tub or body of water etc.) This is how one might be able to make an assessment, whether they are being attacked by marine kingdom evil spirit.

If one, is being lead into water, pulled into water, jumping into the water, or one willingly goes into a source of water; that is entering an evil covenant with the marine kingdom.

SIDE NOTE: evil covenants or evil contracts; can be entered into by agreement(spoken or unspoken), action(signing or handshake..etc), or even unknowingly(by deception).

If one test/ is approached by a spirit: (as we have learned in previous Bible studies) we are to test those who are approaching us during our dreams.

One way to test when we are being approached by someone (animal or child or adult) in our dreams: is to question who is approaching us.

The question that normally works, is asking the approaching: who is Jesus Christ to them?

Now, if that person (animal or child or adult) in the dream who is approaching us begins: to glorify the Lord; we know that what is approaching us is a Spirit of the Lord.

If the (animal or child or adult) begins his scream, hist, bursting into flames or attacking; we know that is a demonic spirit; and we are then to go into our spiritual warfare.

What I have found useful in spiritual warfare: I have found singing the praises of God, or gospel praises of Jesus Christ; usually work.

I have also: Called the name of Jesus, and light flew out from me; which made the demonic spirits burst into flames. (and then I woke up). Once awake: I began, to speak with authority casting the demonic spirits out of my home. Now (meaning recently): When, awake I make sure to cast the demonic spirit out, followed by prayer and singing to our Lord and Savior. (this has worked for me. might work for others. as I have said before I’m not an expect.)

Attacks that happen in ones sleep may result in the following: I have had bruises, scratches, (when punched in the throat) I have woken up unable to speak, and sprained ankle. (not a big deal…. Prayed over whatever part of my body was heart and the pain left. AMEN!!!)

I would like to clarify, I say all this not to scare or make others fearful. I have found when researching: many list the evil spirits and simply say cast out the spirit, but they don’t often give examples or state experiences. Many don’t say how to cast or how to do spiritual warfare. No fault of their own, but I learn from reading, studying, then observing and or experiences. I find that it has been difficult for me to understand or feel fully informed without a lot of detail on certain subjects. Practically, subjects I am unfamiliar.

Now, do I believe there is one pray or one way of spiritual warfare: that can be said to cast out evil spirits or demons; I honestly don’t know.

I am thinking at this point in my learning, that the faith has to be strong in order to cast out evil of any kind. Why do I think this?…..let’s keep reading.

Matthew chapter 8 verse 24: Jesus was asleep.

This says to me, that Jesus was at peace; even during the mess of the storm( or possible marine kingdom attack) Jesus wasn’t scared. Jesus wasn’t frightened. Jesus, didn’t jump out of this sleep, wondering what was going on. No. Jesus, had peace. Jesus, had calm. Jesus, knew during the mess of a storm. Jesus, knew everything would be OK.

This tells me, that as Christians and followers of God: we need to be at peace during difficult times. During, difficult times we need to still take time to have peace. We don’t always need to be in battle or fight mode. Or out to have arms are going to enemy.

We should stay at rest knowing that; God is already fighting our battles for us. AMEN!!!

Believe me….. you, I know during difficult times; this might prove difficult. But, I guess the aim is to try. I have found for me: ( in or during emergency situations) I do fine and am calm during the process. Maybe, because I am focused on helping someone else. But, when it comes to me; I don’t always (or haven’t always), remained clam, after along period of time of being attacked (in person, for a period of over 5 years. I fully, admit towards the end I broke down, down down down down. But, you know what??!!?? God has delivered me and I full faith that God will deliver others. AMEN!!!

25. So they went to Him and woke Hime saying, “Save us, Lord, we are lost!”

I find it a little comical that: the disciples of Jesus, were frightened by the storm.

But, if we keep in the thought process that the storm was possibly, created by one of the evil ones (from the marine kingdom) this would make more sense (in my opinion). Possibly, the disciples, were frightened due to being attacked by an evil spirit (from the marine kingdom)

Prior to this event or attack: The disciples (being frightened by a possible evil one; from the marine kingdom); it’s also kind of odd that though they had possibly been present during Jesus is teachings (sermon on the mount), or where they would have witness to Jesus healing of the servant, and of Peter’s mother-in-law; they didn’t have belief in themselves. The disciples did not believe that they too, could’ve taken care of the marine kingdom spirit or storm.

Why do I think odd? I would think after witnessing the miracles and authority of Jesus, first hand: the disciples confidence would have some how been built up. Often times as children we learned from teachers. Jesus, being the ultimate teacher, I would have thought that the disciples would have followed Jesus lead.

I thought the disciples, would have been strong in faith, because Jesus was obviously strong in faith and ability. Just a thought….especially since, I have noticed I feel strong learning from strong leaders. So I guess by thought process is others would too. Of course this isn’t always the case; as transfer of ability through learning or witnessing, but make sense to me. Anyhow…..

What I also am noticing is: when the disciples cried out for Jesus to save them; that they “will perish”; isn’t that bad? Isn’t that speaking already condemning them in the natural? Isn’t that prophesying negativity over themselves?

It’s no wonder to me that Jesus, often tells his disciples “oh ye of little faith”. They possibly doubted themselves and therefore doubted Jesus abilities. Although, they had witness Jesus’s ability to conquer the supernatural with a manner of a touch or simply speaking, the words of healing.

Maybe this is why, so many people during today’s time have a difficult time understanding the power of the spiritual realm, the power of the word, and power in the words; that we speak.

Then again, saying how most persons in today’s times don’t even know about the spiritual realm; due to lack of knowledge, sheer ignorance, willful ignorance, or poor teaching by these celebrity pastors……….. How are people to learn about the spiritual realm?

These pharisees that exist in these mega churches of today: the celebrity pastors, pastor type of rock stars. They’re really doing no good the service to their communities and to the world. Especially, by not passing on the knowledge, that’s clearly written and each and every Bible.

Speaking of Bibles: I would like to point out, this Bible that from the study book; says a storm came upon them. But, in another versions of the Bible, states a “great tempter of the sea”. Which leads me to believe: The “storm” was an evil spirit.

Why, do I believe this?

Well, when Jesus was in the desert he was tempted by the “evil one”.

Some versions of the Bible: state Jesus was approached by the “great tempter” or “evil tempter”.

Another word that leads me to believe it was actually a spirit of the marine kingdom: Jesus “commanded” and “rebuked” the storm. So, why would Jesus have to “rebuke” a storm? When He could’ve just spoken over the storm?

When one prays; this is a conversation with God. When one praises, one it is a conversation/ praise of our Lord and Savior, and God. When one is casting out demons; this is known as spiritual warfare. Spiritual warfare, is used against evil ones, satan’s workers satan’s minions, evil spirits, and those that are not seen in the spiritual realm.

These are just possible thoughts that I have.

26. So He said to them, “Why are you so frightened, you who have so little faith?” And then He stood up and rebuke the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm.

I find it just amusing: how Jesus, rose and I asked his disciples, “why were they fearful”. I am guessing from Jesus question, Jesus felt/thought, they should know better than to be fearful. And when Jesus says, “oh ye of little faith”; I imagine Jesus maybe being annoyed or disappointed.

27. They were astounded and said, “ Whatever kind of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him?”

The disciples marbled? Which means they were astounded and surprised?

The disciple were, apparently that Jesus, was able to rebuke the storm. Having, the storm flee from them and suddenly there was calm and the sea or river (depending on what verse of the Bible one is reading. This study Bible says; lake and then sea.)

Maybe the disciples, even in those biblical times; didn’t know about the spiritual realm?. But, that doesn’t quite make sense to me either. Because, if we look at even ancient or historical maps there are pictures and drawings demon/evil spirits that lived in the waters.

Practically, every ancient culture has a story of marine kingdom demons. Encourage others, (if they are interested) to please look at ancient maps. Ancient maps, not only show locations of cities (that are no longer in existence) during biblical times cities (hat have been renamed).

What’s important also to notice: in the names of some of the names were changed from Biblical names……. into (names that will learn later of spiritual warfare) the names have actually been changed to satanic names. Which is obviously satan’s followers, way of being another copy cat over God’s kingdom.

Let us pray.

God we, pray that we have faith enough to see You in our lives. God, we pray for our Angels to always surround us and provide a shield of protect from the evil ones.

God, we pray for mercy and grace. God, we thank you for give us Your words to not only learn, but live by. God, we thank you for the changes that have taken place all over the world. We, have faith that there is more greatness to come.

God, we pray for the healing of those in need. God, we pray that our faith is increase each and everyday that we have been allowed by Your Love to wake.

God, we pray Christians unite and attacking one another.

God, as always we pray for POTUS, Q, Q+++, and Patriots world wide that are fighting to rid this world of those who seek to destroy your agenda.

I pray God keeps everyone safe and blessed. We pray for the Prophets of today. Let them not stray from your word. Let them speak from you and leave ego at the alter.

In Yeshua Jesus Christ loving name.

Amen.

Prayer from 15 May, 2019

God, we pray togetherness. To God, we pray more more faith is bold faith. God, too we pray to not merely say words of prayer, but feel our words that we pray. God, thank you for the teachings of Yeshua. God, we pray that more and more of your children are able to recognize your voice.

God, we pray Christians unite and stop going against one another.

God, as always we pray for POTUS, Q, Q+++, and Patriots world wide that are fighting to rid this world of those who seek to destroy your agenda.

I pray God keeps everyone safe and blessed. We pray for the Prophets of today. Let them not stray from your word. Let them speak from you and leave ego at the alter.

In Yeshua Jesus Christ loving name.

Amen.

RECAP: I will be using my The New Jerusalem Bible: The Complete Text of the Ancient Canon of the Scriptures with Up-to-Date Introductions and Notes. I purchased this Bible myself , with my own funds, after my own research of Study Bibles; from Amazon.. I have provided the link below incase anyone is interested. No, Im not paid or sponsor by this book, editors, or writers, or Amazon; I am just sharing information. (Plus, as a side note I personally don’t like it when information of where to look up reference with held when I am watching others on channels etc, so I try and provide the sources of which I am gathering information.)

The New Jerusalem Bible: The Complete Text of the Ancient Canon of the Script... https://www.amazon.com/dp/0385142641/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_dp_U_x_IkJ0CbVKPKKT7 via @amazon

This is just me doing my part to share THE GOOD NEWS, from a study Bible new Christian study person view of the world, experiences, and study Bible sorts. So I completely understand any others interpretations, but this is my Study Bible Ministry, so obviously that interpretations I write with my views and applications to my life, from my life. I pray this helps others. I pray the Bible Studies, reach those who God’s intends and the way God intends. I pray I can help further God’s kingdom here on Earth.

I pray God be with us in our study and guide us to wisdom, knowledge, and discernment; for our souls shake. In Yeshua Jesus loving name. Amen. I will be going through this study bible book by book, verse by verse. While comments are welcomed, any negative and evil comments will not be tolerated(towards myself or others) by me.

I don’t aim to divide, but bring us together as sisters and brothers in Christ. I can accept different points of view, but evil words will never be tolerated or welcomed. It is ok to disagree, but not to attack. It is ok to have a different view or interpretations, but not to curse(spiritual definition).

And as always if others have information to add, or thoughts to be considered, please post in comments sections.

Thank you friends and Christian family.

Blessings,

Marie

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daleisgreat · 5 years

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Small Town Santa

The Christmas movie blogs continue this month with today’s entry for Small Town Santa (trailer) from 2014. In the previous Christmas movie blog for Die Hard, I referenced how that was the film that finished off a Christmas movie marathon gathering I had last weekend. Small Town Santa was the film I decided to start it off with since it is more of an all ages family film ideal for earlier in the day. I first saw Small Town Santa last year at my sister’s household on Christmas weekend off Netflix and there was something about its earnest plot and sheer heart that won me over and convinced me to get the DVD. The man I will forever associate as the Superman of the 1990s, Dean Cain, leads up a low-budget cast of unknowns in this unorthodox Christmas film. Cain portrays local town sheriff, Rick Langston. He is winding down his time as the local sheriff as he awaits his big-city promotion, but a twisting Christmas Eve night like no other changes Rick’s life when he arrests an intruder in his home who bears a striking resemblance to good ‘ol St. Nick (Paul Hopper). This Santa shows Rick the error of his ways and how to overcome his strained relationship with his daughter Kara (Kara Langston) and find new love in newcomer to town, Lucy (Christine Lakin).

In the initial scenes Sheriff Langston does not appear to be all that terrible of an individual as he helps put up a homeless person in jail so he does not freeze overnight, and gets local kids to shovel for an elderly person for the winter after he catches the kids egging a house. He appears good-hearted and then does a sudden shift in attitude when his ex-wife will not let him spend Christmas Eve with his daughter and he finds out last minute his promotion got denied. That is when Rick bumps into Santa, and despite Santa’s best intentions, I could not get over how inadvertently creepy this Santa comes off on screen. Santa’s tone of his voice is a bit too nice, he is dressed in untraditional Santa attire, he has this mischievous look in his eyes and has a presence on him that looks like he is about to con you out of something throughout the entire film. I do not blame Rick for mistaking him for an intruder at all! It is worth noting the two main acting veterans here are Cain and Lakin as nearly the rest of the remaining cast gives the impression that this is one of their first roles which likely explains why Santa does not sound as well-intentioned as his dialogue indicates. Somehow, I find this oddly endearing. A lot of town locals reach out to help Rick regain his Christmas spirit throughout, and it was amusing watching Rick give them all the cold shoulder and chastise a group of brazen carolers who chuck snowballs at his vehicle. Once Rick admits his wrongdoings Santa grants him some Christmas wishes to have custody of Kara for Christmas, hit it off with Lucy and make it over to a Christmas party that night the movie was building up to throughout for the closing scene of the film where everyone takes in some good ‘ol fashioned Christmas cheer.

Aside from a trailer, there are no other extra features on the DVD, not even subtitles! That is when you know a film is low-budget is when they cannot set aside some resources for the subtitles. Shame! For what it is worth the menus do have some slick snow globe-esque animations to them. Small Town Santa sounds like a traditional family Christmas film that hits the right notes on paper, and in a way it is by how I earlier mentioned this movie has tons of heart and tries its best with its limited funding. I want to once again re-emphasize that Small Town Santa wears its small budget and inexperienced cast on its sleeve and that results in some scenes falling flat and at least a handful of the lesser cast members who had no right to be there. However, like I said before, it kind of gives this unintentional endearing effect where I found myself patting the cast and crew on its back for trying to make a Christmas movie like no other which faults aside, ultimately has a good message in the end! It is like Small Town Santa is kind of like the Birdemic/The Room of Christmas movies….maybe not that drastic but kind of in that direction. Other Random Backlog Movie Blogs 3 12 Angry Men (1957) 12 Rounds 3: Lockdown 21 Jump Street Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie Atari: Game Over The Avengers: Age of Ultron Batman: The Killing Joke Batman: Mask of the Phantasm Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice Bounty Hunters Cabin in the Woods Captain America: Civil War Captain America: The First Avenger Captain America: The Winter Soldier Christmas Eve Clash of the Titans (1981) Clint Eastwood 11-pack Special The Condemned 2 Countdown Creed Deck the Halls Die Hard Dredd The Eliminators The Equalizer Dirty Work Faster Fast and Furious I-VIII Field of Dreams Fight Club The Fighter For Love of the Game Good Will Hunting Gravity Guardians of the Galaxy Hercules: Reborn Hitman Indiana Jones 1-4 Ink The Interrogation Interstellar Jobs Joy Ride 1-3 Man of Steel Man on the Moon Marine 3-6 Metallica: Some Kind of Monster Mortal Kombat National Treasure National Treasure: Book of Secrets The Replacements Reservoir Dogs Rocky I-VII Running Films Part 1 Running Films Part 2 San Andreas ScoobyDoo Wrestlemania Mystery The Secret Life of Walter Mitty Shoot em Up Steve Jobs Source Code Star Trek I-XIII Take Me Home Tonight TMNT The Tooth Fairy 1 & 2 UHF Veronica Mars Vision Quest The War Wild Wonder Woman The Wrestler (2008) X-Men: Days of Future Past

#dean cain #christine lakin #small town santa #christmas #paul hopper #mandalynn carlson

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aesirfalling · 6 years

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Death

Part 4 of 6 (Vanille, Song of the Ancients: Atonement) - Together We Brought the Moon Down

Character/Full ATB Skill Study of the Final Fantasy XIII Cast Set to Nier: Automata Music.

She cannot tell what is more enticing: the spring dawn’s breezes heavy with birdsong and dew, or the promise of one final heartbeat, somber and steady against the back of her eyelids. Sleep, she murmurs, weaving flowers with her delicate braceleted hands and smiling soundlessly to the sun. Sleep where all friends and family have long been lowered into their eternal rest.

Sleep, so that we can all dream.

I’m not leaving.

Vanille! You have to listen to me! They want you to die! They –

So what if I want to die? What if I should and need to die, Fang? What then? Haven’t we caused enough suffering? Haven’t we failed enough? Haven’t we –

It’s not your fault! It’s never been your fault! If anyone’s ever –

No one told me. But I see them. I hear them. I know. You can’t live and die for me, Fang. You’ve always done everything. Live –

No! Vanille!

The souls. They come.

The towns. The world. They come…

She walks alone to the end of the altar like a bride waiting to be given away, warm silks flowing like a river over the crystal dust in her hair. She’s kissed Fang in this cathedral when the Order wasn’t looking, sworn that she’d love her partner forever, always be hers, theirs, all the way to the end of time. Even if the Cathedral would fall. Even if the wind of the lost would consume her from the inside out. Even if…

But I’m not just Oerba Dia Vanille, you know? She grins innocently, pulling out of the kiss as the Order puts her sister – partner – lover in chains, drags her out of the saint’s view. Oerba Dia Vanille belongs to Oerba Yun Fang.

Vanille the l’Cie belongs to death and God.

Your dreams. Can I give them back? Your smile? Your tears? I hear your craving for your mother. Don’t weep over the beloved… I understand, I understand. Do you want another story? What about another myth? I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what I can –

Sometimes the voices of the dead are calming, other times violent and seething; the Order knows how it goes – they’ll send priestesses after her, restrain her as she wanders blind in the halls of the cathedral, sedate her as she shrieks from darkness that is not her own. The fall of the crystal pillar… the encroaching chaos… every year as people have to walk towards another land, every district of Luxerion and Yusnaan lost to the unforgiving ocean, all the worlds that won’t ever come back, all the people –

“Saint!” A stern voice yells – a priestess? – frantically waving a fan over her face. “Remember your friends. Remember your name. You must not lose yourself to the dead!”

My name. My family. Serah’s sympathetic face, so young and so, so kind, listening intently to her tale in Bodhum and then twisting, so painfully, in a vision that no human can endure for years on end. Hope as a child, struggling to hold a gun, then just vanishing into the night air, disappearing without a trace –

“Do something for me, will you? Keep smiling. I – it makes me happy when you smile.”

The seizing stops. She feels them let go of her, slowly letting her bruised and exhausted body collapse and settle against the cool marble floor. It’s dark. How long has it been? Nobody’s in the church at this hour anymore. There are painted glass windows in her line of vision, pictures of Pulse and Etro serving their all-knowing Father. Are Hope and Serah in her massive crowd of voices, even now? Why can’t she hear them?

Does it just mean she doesn’t love them enough to pick them apart from the others?

I love you, she thinks despairingly to herself, and that’s when the tears start pooling, a cold and unforgivable thing even more chilling than the stone of the Cathedral itself. The Order will let her cry. They know it means that she still remembers. All I’ve ever wanted is to love all of you until I die.

The years pass even in Fang’s absence. She treasures the seeing stone above everything else – without Fang’s consciousness, Fang’s body, Fang’s bravery flowing into her veins from those calloused hands clutching her own, she feels dreadfully incomplete. Her prayers in front of Bhunivelze’s altar ring hollow, as ugly as the half-Ragnarok Fang became in all those years past. But she will be enough this time, even in her deformity.

Smile, Fang, she laughs to herself behind a mural of Etro bleeding out in the first desert of the world, picking Fang’s language apart as the taller woman tries to gesture around a group of bandits, they’ll never flirt with you otherwise.

“Please rise, Saint. There are twelve more couples waiting to receive your blessing.”

A thousand years and I’ve never wanted to be holy.

The dead never cease; she supposes death never really ceases, either, so she buries herself in prayer, learning ancient languages and rituals that she never truly understands. If Hope was here, this would be easier, she reflects miserably, drinking moodily from the cup of water left outside her chamber by the acolytes. Or Serah and Noel. Or even Yeul herself. While watching everyone from within the crystal, Fang and I entertained ourselves by trying to track the Yeuls. Fang had laughed at me for suggesting it. But when we were as we were…

“The people would not grieve if you do not pronounce everything perfectly, your Holiness,” one priest shakes his head at her, the picture of religious compassion. “All the people want are hope and salvation. If you promise it to them, then it will become real.”

Hope is dead and Light won’t ever wake up, the words rise to her lips, but she swallows them. She smiles at the man, the first man to show her any kind of kindness in months, and lets him pray by her feet. “God has a merciful and human heart,” she begins, and he doesn’t contradict her. “And so does his Savior.”

It’s only later, way later, when she’s sitting together with Hope again in a church in the new world that she understands the true meaning of her eidolith. They are walking together through the gallery, feeling the statues and squinting at the texts, before Hope pulls her over and points out something to her. A maiden veiled and prostrate, trying to repent – and before her, glowing all rosy and beautiful on the most glorious tree of Eden, a wreath of apples.

The forbidden fruit, in so many ways, is life itself.

“Is Fang Adam, then?” She jokes, elbowing him. “Is that how all of this makes sense, now?”

“You can ask her about it,” he responds nonchalantly, his lips curved up in a small smile. “I certainly did not remember creating her in my image.”

A bonfire, a village, a market. Somewhere to stop, somewhere where we’d not be noticed or recognized, somewhere where I could just buy her drink, and she a chocobo for the two of us to ride the world with. A place where I could laugh at her bad jokes. A place where she could complain about the dirt in my hair. A place where we could be human, where we could fail, where we could die and bury ourselves in leaves and snow…

The mirage shatters, as it always does. Fang wants the Clavis. If the Clavis is destroyed – if she can’t perform the Soulsong – what can they do?

“It’s too late to stop, Saint,” she recites, a line repeated to her by the senior priestess, who claims to have heard God. “This world is ending, and we need you to bring us to the next shore.”

“Lightning thinks crystal is eternal,” Lumina scoffs, raven feathers and dark boots, a Farron girl from the most retro Cocoon the Pulse girl can think of. The girl dances and jumps all around the Saint, hugs her from behind and pulls on her hair. It’s strangely comforting to have visitors. It’s been a while since she’s seen Fang, and a bit longer since the Order’s given up trying to hound up a little girl who can materialize behind bars and out of thin air. “I say, she really just needs to come here and look at you.”

Our crystal pillar… it should have never fallen. It was supposed to be indestructible, infallible. Yet the bond between Fang and I had not been strong enough. Yet our love had cracked and given away throughout the flow of time. Yet I…

“Do not die, Vanille,” Lumina suddenly breathes by your ear, Lightning-serious and Lightning-sad and Serah’s smile all intertwined together in one.

“Everything is going to be fine.”

#im not even going to pretend this one is good #I wrote this at 1 in the morning while being very sad about life #but I do now have something I want to write about: Vanille and Hope in a church together after Lightning Returns #they would both want to just #sit through a mass #talk to a pastor #look at the paintings #talk about how much it all hurt but what it meant to them #I also think Hope might open up to Vanille before he opens up to Lightning #about Bhuni I mean #because that kinda also mirrors how shit went down in XIII as well #even though he won't tell her everything #postLR!Hope would think that she deserves it #That could also go VaniHope if you wanted #but im always of the idea why split up the perfectly perfect thing that is VaniFang for another ship #het or otherwise #(esp since I also love Hoperai)#Oerba Dia Vanille #Final fantasy xiii #ffxiii #lightning returns #NaNo tag

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