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mari-gt · 5 years

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Knowing Steve (Strawberry Shortcake part 2)

Hii there! How's it going? Good, very good. I'm doing great either! So another story for another day, wow!

Enjoy it

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After all the night traveling, the girls were getting more tired and suspicious about how close the house of Steve was, because Strawberry was saying everytime that they were closer each moment that has passed.

"How long now Strawberry?" "We are tired." Plum Pudding and Sour Grape complained for Strawberry while they were lunching.

"Today we'll find him." Strawberry said excited for her friends. "You gonna like him, he's so gentle and nice."

"You saying like this looks like you're in love with him" Raspberry joked and Strawberry get red as a tomato.

"I'm n-not in love with h-him! That would be impossible, I j-just like him that's all." She still red and stammering embarrassed, thinking about the possibility on a relationship with Steve, but like she said it would be impossible.

The girls laughed at her and joked even more until Sweet Grape get up from where she was sitting.

"Okay guys give me your dishes and let's keep going." Sweet getting the dishes for wash in her food truck, and Sour putting the leftovers in some cartons. They went in the cars and continue the ride.

******

In the next hour, Strawberry flagged for the others stop, she left the car and look around.

"What is it Strawberry?" Lemon looking around to see if she finds whatever Strawberry is looking.

"He was supposed to be here by now..." Strawberry said distracted. "I'll text him, just wait a sec."

She took her phone and text him.

'Where are you? We already here!'

'i'm looking for you, but you're so tiny, haha!'

'Shut up and come here already!'

Strawberry look around and saw a old piece of wood addle near to them.

'we are near a piece of wood addle, can you find it?

'hmmmm I guess... Wait a minute ok?'

'okay...'

She turn off her phone and called for the others. They went through the wood and waited there.

"Finally we'll find somewhere warm and comfortable to stay and sleep! And finally we'll know Steve that Strawberry's love hahaha!" Cherry Jam joked, the girls laughed and agreed about the warm place, they just couldn't wait. Strawberry ignoring the jokes start speaking.

"Alright guys I just wanted you to know that Steve is... a different person." She start hesitantly and was interrupted by Apple Dumpling.

"Like what? A lonely guy?"

"No...?"

"A guy who talks with plants?"

"No."

"A boy who-"

"Just let me finish!" Strawberry yelled for her. "He's just humm.... You know tall, like... Really really tall." She looked to her friends for see if they were understanding.

In the moment Blueberry was starting to ask what Strawberry meant, they heard a loud noise and the ground start trembling. They were scared but not Strawberry, after a second a giant feet appeared next to the wood they were under it.

"Strawberry are you here!?" The loud voice called after her and she start running for it. But she was stopped by a hand.

"Strawberry no don't go there!" Orange pushed her worried about the giant near of them.

"Strawberry?!" The voice called again.

"Don't worry guys it's just him!!" Strawberry let go her hand from Orange and ran again towards the voice.

"I'm here! Hi Steve!" She yelled to her giant friend that get surprised after hearing her.

"Strawberry!" He looked down and kneel with his hands coming to pick her up. When he did this she got a little squeaky, but she wasn't afraid, just forget the sensation.

"Long time no see short stack." He hugged her pressing in his chest, but not so strong for not hurt her.

"I know, I know, you can stop now! Haha"

"Ops sorry, did I hurt you?" He said holding her doing a shell shape with the hands.

"No I'm fine! Just wanna see you're giant face!" She moved away from his chest, looking up and holding the thumb of Steve.

"hah okay." They laugh together ending the longing, so he look down and saw more tiny girls hiding in the wood.

"So this are your friends Starwberry?" He asked curious.

"Yes! Steve this is my friends and girls this Steve!" Strawberry "present" each other.

"Hi guys!" Steve waved his hand that wasn't holding Strawberry anymore and did a sign for they come closer, but they hide under the wood again.

"You don't have to worry, I won't hurt you." He said softly, but it didn't change anything, they were still there.

"Let me down please, I'll talk with them." Strawberry asked and was put down. She went inside the addle wood again to talk with the girls.

"You don't have to be afraid of him, he won't hurt you or else I wouldn't be here." She said trying to convince them to get out and meet him.

"I won't go there with that giant!" Sweet yelled hiding behind her sister that agreed with her like everyone else.

"But he's nice, okay he's big and all, but he's like a person!" Strawberry tried defend Steve. "Just give him a chance" she extend her hand waiting for someone to grab it.

Anyone did it, they to afraid but Apple was trying to consider the request. She was a adventures girl, she looked for dangerous things all the time and that would be a new adventure for post in her blog. So she, hesitantly, got Starwberry's hand and went with her to know Steve.

He received her with gentle smile, she almost ALMOST lost her fear if it wasn't he's giant size, she stopped walking for a moment but Strawberry looked at her and encourage her.

"it's going to be okay."

"yeah s-sure! Okay, everything will be okay." Apple repeat to her self.

"Hi there little one." Steve asked her softly, giving her a little calm. "What's your name?"

"A-Apple Dumpling." She said nervously.

Steve chuckled and was for start to down his hand for pick her up, but he thought it wouldn't be a good idea, at least not this way.

"Do you mind if I pick you up for know you better?" He smiled for her and she looked at Strawberry that gave a confident nod.

"S-sure." She said hesitantly.

He down his hand in flat for Apple climb easily, and she climbed hesitantly waiting for see if he wasn't to do something, but he was just patiently waiting. So when she finally was up the big hand, Steve start lifting her for eye level. She got out a little squeaky of fear, she looked down worried, she was in tall heights consider by the everyone in her size but not so height like that. She put her hands on the eyes, and Steve chuckled.

"it's everything okay?"

"no!" She yelled with the hands still on the eyes.

"Hey looked at me, it's okay I got you." He said gently, and with time Apple take the hands off of the eyes. And when she looked better the view she got excited.

"Woooow up here is better than ever! Look at there that flower is so beautiful up here!" Apple said so excited that Steve couldn't keep it he laughed out louder making Apple shrugged a bit.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I didn't mean it." He stopped laughing, but seeing her happiness was so cute. And then he feel a smell, an apple smell.

"Hmm wow smell good." Sniffing her head to get that better. Apple start to laughing with the touch of his nose.

"Hahaha yes, it's the apple scent that Lemon did for my hair." She explained for him.

"And that's really good, I would like to say her how talent she is but I guess she's hiding in the wood." He looked down trying to see and encourage the others to come.

"Lemon come on! He's want to know you!" Apple yelled to Lemon, and Strawberry tried to get her hand to get close like she did with Apple.

Lemon was starting to get a few steps out of the woods after seeing how Apple was getting fun the giant but when he mentioned her she went back to the wood. Strawberry was still waiting for her, but Lemon couldn't go, so Strawberry went close to her for talk.

"It's okay, look how fun and gentle he is." Strawberry said for change her mind of not going there.

After thinking a bit Lemon took Strawberry's hand and walk with her out of the wood.

"Wait we wanna go too!" Plum and Hunckleberry call for them and run for their encounter.

They walk slowly towards Steve and they admired him of how big he was. Steve put Apple on his shoulder and asked again for them if he could pick them up. Hunckleberry was the first.

"So little buddy how's it going?!" Steve asked for the boy.

"I'm great! Wow your so big haha" Hunckleberry said determined and Steve chuckled again.

"Come on, go in my shoulder." Steve put his hand next to the shoulder for him to be with Apple. And Hunckleberry jumped and stayed with Apple.

"Alright! Come up girls." He put his hands down for pick up Plum and Lemon.

Lemon step back afraid but Plum helped her to get encourage. They were picked up to his face level.

"So who's the talent little girl with the delicious scent hair." He smiled for them.

"I-its it's m-me." Lemon said timidly.

"You're really good at this... And you two smell good too." Steve breath in deeply to get the strong smell of lemon and Plum coming from them.

"T-thank you" Lemon thanked him still timidly and hesitantly.

"What about you? What's your name?!" Steve looked the other girl with purple hair.

"I'm Plum Pudding! Nice to meet you!"

"Nice to meet you too Plum! Do you mind if I put in my jacket pocket?" He asked hesitantly.

"No we won't mind" Lemon said a little fearless now.

"okay then." He carefully put them in the pocket on his chest and doing it he looked down at Strawberry that was accompanied by the others.

"Ok so who's next." He smiled at them.

After everyone was on his shoulders and pockets, he get their cars and walk for his car.

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#gt #g/t #g/t fluff #g/t writing #my stuff #strawberry shortcake #i loving writing this story

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kleinsensongbash · 7 years

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Can’t Sleep Love by Pentatonix

Written by Lissy (well-of-night on tumblr) in collaboration with the lovely Ashley (smashleyed on tumblr). This work wouldn’t be possible without you beta-ing me, thank you so much! xoxo

Tell me, am I going crazy? I have gone absolutely bat-shit insane. I thought this brand of crazy could only found in one Mr. Probably-A-School-Shooter Connor Murphy, but nope! I’ve literally never been this wrong in my entire life. It all started, as most things do for me, as a joke. I had stupidly decided to drag Evan to a small party a friend of a friend of an acquaintance of Alana’s was having. It would satisfy Heidi’s desire for Evan to go out more, and Evan would keep me sane until I found some booze. It was a win-win for everyone, you know? Well. Except Evan. The poor dude gravitated to the first empty seat he could find as soon as we got there, and I don’t really think I saw him for most of the party, which was fine, I guess. So I was sitting in this circle of idiots who have fun with party games, especially drinking games. Booze should be fun, and I always start the games, so I’m kind of the captain of these idiots, even if they don’t accept me as their amazing leader because they barely know who I am when they’re sober. Which is fine. Drunk party friends and regular sober friends shouldn’t ever mingle anyway. We were playing truth or dare. If you were too coward to fess up or do your dare, you drank. If you did your dare or told your truth, your challenger drank. I was pretty smashed, so everything I said and did was pure stupidity. But then again, when is it not, right? It fell upon Zoe Murphy to challenge someone, and she naturally picks me, the awesome team leader who hadn’t been picked at all yet. But Jared, you may be asking, how were you drunk if no one had picked you to challenge or anything? Well, I had made up my own side drinking game. Basically, whenever I felt too sober, I took a shot. That did the trick pretty well. So Zoe picks me and she puts up an offer that I couldn’t refuse, sober or drunk. “I’ll give you a truth and a dare. If you can do both, I’ll drink and give you a twenty.” she said, her eyes sparkling with something I’d call devilish delight. I didn’t even think twice. Hell, I didn’t think once. I accepted gleefully, not even considering that maybe she had a plan or something. “Truth or dare,” she prompted, and I very stupidly but very proudly said truth. She grinned at this, as if she anticipated my answer. The Murphys are fucking weird, I’m just saying, so maybe she did know what I’d pick first. “Would you date Evan Hansen?” she asked. Now that I look back on it, she was pretty drunk too, and the circle had been conspiring for a while without me really giving it much thought. So this was a group effort. Not just a Zoe Murphy thing. Probably. A shitty group thing to do, really, since it’s got me re-evaluating my entire fucking life. It was at this point I kind of gave Evan a glance. He was cowering in a corner, except he was on a sofa that was nowhere near the corner of the room. He was doing something on his shitty off-brand phone, probably playing SNAKE, knowing his social life. Now. anyone with a brain could probably tell that hell yes, I would. Anyone with a brain could tell you I adored Evan. Maybe it was because of how I totally zone out while he’s talking about trees and try to draw constellations on his faces using only his freckles and my mind, and my face maybe looks a little dumb while I do it. A smart person would be able to identify that I was super into Evan Hansen, what with my insisting on hanging out with him and asking him about trees just to get him going, or how I say stupid shit just to get him all red in the face… Any smart person with even something akin to one brain cell would know I was super gay for Evan and that my gay ass just didn’t notice it. And, well, I think we all know by now, I am not the smartest in the bunch. My drunken self, however, did not go on to reevaluate his entire existence until he was sober, which is right now. No,no, drunk me grinned. Drunk me beamed and slurred, “yeah, I guess, he’s pretty cute.” Zoe Murphy grinned, and it was almost like watching Satan himself smile up at me. “Now, I dare you to go tell him that.” And me, being the stupid broke ass I am, stumbled to get up, and waltzed over to Evan. Now, this part of the night is a little tricky. It was shortly after this that shit gets blackout drunk kinds of foggy. But I remember asking Evan how he was, and he stuttered back a very uncomfortable lie about how he was good and what not. The only thing I remember clearly is his reaction. I don’t know how I worded it, or if I even said it, but all I remember is Evan turning bright red. His eyes wide and his mouth agape, ready to say something that he’d never say. Or maybe he did say. And all I remember thinking before shit got foggy was how fucking adorable he looked all stunned and red-faced like that. Now, a week ago, if you had told me I would be realizing how deep I was in this, this gay-for-Evan-Hansen-hole, I would’ve called you crazy. I would’ve said, “fuck you, man, I’m a gay asshole but not like that!” or something dumb. I mean, I’m gay as fuck. I own fourteen different kinds of pride flags, for fuck’s sake. But I just got over a hangover and the first thing I fucking realized after that migraine went away and I could actually function again was something I’d never picture myself thinking or saying or even feeling. I’m gay for Evan.

Am I just afraid of loving? Okay, so after that weird gay revelation, I’ve been, like, avoiding Evan. It’s super shitty of me, but fuck! What am I supposed to do? Just prance around, hanging out with Evan like I hadn’t called him cute while smashed at a crappy teen kegger and holding myself back from telling him how nice he looks in blue, the color he wears basically every day? Fuck that. I’m basically running from my gay thoughts, and I’m already winded as fuck. I’m no athlete, believe me, and somehow even metaphorical exercise is tiring. Note to self: do something about that. It’s been like a week-ish since the party, and I haven’t talked to Evan “Ecosexual” Hansen since. Ecosexuals are apparently people attracted to trees, I saw an article about it. Almost sent it to Evan, just for shits and giggles. But then I remembered that would be a shitty thing to do after a week of not talking to him. I have about 117 unread messages from Evan– oh shit, scratch that. As of not even five seconds ago, I’ve got 118 unread messages from Evan. He hasn’t stopped texting me since the party. I’ve seen the little previews, it’s all “Are you okay, Jared?” “What did I do, Jared?” “Please text me back I’m worried, Jared.” This is actually hell. But, honestly? What am I supposed to do? I don’t want to chase him off with all my gay shit, even though he knows I’m gay. But you try telling a straight guy you’re gay for him! He’ll probably tell me to fuck off or something, in the way only Evan could: kind of polite and super terrified, and that’s the last thing I want. Because, you know, I still want to be his friend and all. I give him shit but I like having him around, you know? Telling him I like him would be a lose-lose situation anyway. Maybe I just need to cool off some more. Maybe in another week, I can pretend I don’t think Evan’s laugh makes me want to a punch a wall so I can feel something besides butterflies in my stomach because fuck his laugh is the cutest thing and… where was I going with that? Oh yeah. If I pretend hard enough, maybe we can hang out again. I’ll shove my shit so far into the closet, it’ll be having tea with Mr. Tumnus in Narnia. Because I can’t like Evan like that, he’s my friend, my family friend to make matters worse! That shit’s off limits, it’s like trying to date your cousin, and I’m way too up north to even be thinking about that shit. Whoops. There goes messages number 119 and 120. I really should text back, he might have a fucking panic attack by the time he reaches 150, if he hasn’t already. Maybe I can just tone it down with the whole liking him thing, it can’t be that hard. It’s not like he’ll figure out I wasn’t joking, because that’s me! Always joking! My initials are literally JK, just kidding, I mean… I can play it off as a joke. I have to because the alternative is telling him and I don’t think I can handle that rejection. I have to play it off as a drunken joke. I’ve just gotta be insanely cool about it. Just… chill out and pretend I’m not into him like that. I’m gonna text him back now, something like “yeah, dude, I’m okay, didn’t see your messages, all 120 of them! Haha weird right?” Well, maybe not that last bit. I’ll make up some bullshit excuse like “Oh, my phone was on silent” and play it so cool. So very cool. I think I can do this.

Keeps me up all night I can’t fucking do this. I thought it’d be super easy to just pretend, just like I do with all the other shit in my life, but nope! Not happening! Fuck! My little “fake it till I make it significantly less gay” plan lasted not even a week. It was going good, you know? I was hanging out with Evan at school, we talked like normal, whatever. And then on Thursday, he asked if he could sleep over Friday. He was all stuttery and red and wouldn’t stop messing with his shirt, so I said “sure, why not, I’ve got nothing to do.” Which was a lie because I’ve got so much fucking homework but… I mean, Evan almost never asked to hang out! This was such a rare thing, I had to jump on it. I wish “it” meant his dick, but alas. BAD JOKE, I KNOW, NOT AT ALL HELPFUL TO IGNORING MY GAY SHIT, MOVING ON. So for the rest of that day, I was super stressed. I even cleaned my room that night, and I unearthed my Wii so we could play some Mario Kart and I even found my SD card with Project M on it (the superior of all the Smash games, and it isn’t even really Nintendo!). I went to bed at like 9, which is… pretty fucking early on my standards, especially on a school night. What can I say? I just wanted it to be Friday already. I swear to fuck, I walked into school and all I remember is Evan. Walking to class with Evan, Evan talking about some tree or something, Evan asking me if he could just come right to my house with me… I was super zoned the fuck out. I don’t know if it was because I actually got sleep for once, or because my brain thought: Hey, you know how to make the sleepover come faster? Space the fuck out! It’s foolproof! (I’m writing this on my school computer so if I get fucking blocked for writing about an idiot’s gay crush on a guy who likes trees more than he probably likes his “family friend”, I’m suing) The school day ended as quickly as it started, and I walked out of class and pretty much crashed into Evan. Which is fucking weird, because he was supposed to be on the other side of the school and the bell had just rung. Not even he was that fast a walker. But whatever, he was there. He probably got out of class early or some shit, who knows how, it’s not like he had the balls to ask a teacher to let him go to the bathroom, let alone leave class early. Anyway. We walked together to my car, and at some point between my class and the main exit, Evan had latched onto me, his hands grasping lamely at my sleeve, and it’s not that I minded it at all, because he was probably just grounding himself or some weird Evan shit, but I kind of needed to get my keys and he was just preventing that from happening. I said something like “Can I get my arm back?” in my playful, not-trying-to-be-an-asshole way, and he dropped my arm like it was fucking on fire. He stuttered out an apology as I got out my keys, typical Evan shit. I let him know it was okay, with a “whatever” or a “it’s cool”. This shit happened like 12 hours ago, so excuse my lame ass for not having word for word accounts of what went down. We got to my house, I offered him something to eat, same old routine as always. He rejected my offering of food, I urged him to fucking eat something, he eventually did. We ate Totino’s pizza rolls because I’m a fucking sellout. And then we went up to my room, and I shit you not, all we did was play video games. For fucking 10 hours. Well, that’s bullshit. We sat around and talked too, when Evan was complaining about his hands cramping up from playing. He told me he was happy we were hanging out like this, I agreed. I asked him how therapy was going, and he mumbled an “okay I guess”. I didn’t even realize it was Saturday until Evan fell asleep. He had gotten tired of playing, and we were just sitting on my bed, so I was playing on my computer and he was watching. And then I felt his weight kinda shift and his head? Was on my fucking shoulder. Like. Fuck. I kept playing, though! What else was I gonna do? Tell him “hey bro get your head off my shoulder it’s giving me a case of the Gays”? No! And then I heard him snoring. It wasn’t any of that bullshit loud snoring, but this soft, barely audible snoring? That’s when I got the sense to check the time. It was fucking 2am. No wonder he passed out! He was like an old lady, he always slept at 10 or some shit. And he didn’t even say anything! So. We arrive at the present. In which I am too scared to move because I might wake him up. he’s really warm. I’m so tired, but I can’t go to sleep because I’d have to get up and put my laptop away and then get comfortable and that’d probably wake his ass up. plus, he looks so peaceful I’m not sleeping tonight, am I? Oh well, whatever. It’s worth it as long as he sleeps well. What the fuck is my problem, oh my God. I can accept being super gay for Evan, but c’mon. I gotta draw the line at “giving more of a shit about his sleep than mine”. I deserve sleep too. But maybe just for tonight… I’ll pull a fucking all nighter. Just for tonight, and just because Evan passed out on me. This is a one-time thing. He will not keep me up all night every night! Jared Kleinman deserves his fucking sleep!

I can’t do it anymore Dear Evan Hansen, Today’s going to be a good day and here’s why. You woke up with Jared next to you. Not in a creepy weird way, but… you fell asleep on him? And he passed out and fell back and you went along with him so you kind of were cuddling and it- It felt really nice. I came to terms with how I felt about Jared a long time ago, but never wanted to act on it. But I was too obvious, people noticed, people like Zoe noticed. Then the party happened. I didn’t want to go, but Jared almost begged me to go and I just ended up tagged along. But then he got hammered. I’ve never been a fan of alcohol? It messes with the medication and all, so it’s something I steer clear of. Jared was off playing some dumb drinking game, ignoring me, and I was plotting an escape, estimating how long it would take me to walk home. And then Jared stood up from his game and stumbled over to the sofa where I had been sitting. “Hey, Evan,” he slurred, and the smell of his gross booze breath made me gag.”How you doin?” I shifted a bit in my seat, because the correct answer was awful, I only came to hang out with you and instead I’m hanging out with the sofa in a house full of drunk people who probably hate me why am I even here Jared? So, instead, I managed a “I’m doing okay. And you?” He grinned. “M good… okay, so, Zoe wants me to tell you that I think… you’re really cute an’.. I’d totally date you.” It suddenly felt like 20 degrees hotter, my hands got all clammy and my face heated up. “Jared, you’re drunk,” I said, and he just laughed. “Hi, drunk, I’m gay,” he responded, which made zero sense, but- This was the problem, being around Jared. I can never tell what’s serious and what’s a joke and it is just so upsetting because maybe he’s kidding when he insists we’re just family friends but what’re the odds of that, you know? I never had the best luck with people, not even Jared. He’s something else, I think. Deep down, he’s not the worst, but…it’s hard to tell when he’s joking or not. After the party, he kind of avoided me? I got a little… worried. I couldn’t stop texting him. I thought, at the time, maybe I did something wrong. Maybe he was hurt and, and it was freaking me out. He did eventually answer me, and we went back to normal but not really. I caught him staring at me a lot, which wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t been staring at him first. I have no idea what that’s even about. My therapist suggested I hang out with Jared, so I kind of invited myself over. And now I’m just.. in his room. He’s making breakfast, I think I hear him humming and everything. I have never thought I could read Jared that well, he’s kind of unpredictable. And mean. And sneaky. And he has weird eyes, but not bad weird? Definitely a good weird. And he has the cutest bedhead. I.. don’t remember where I was going with that. I’ll finish writing this later. Or maybe I’ll just rewrite this completely, because no way am I giving Dr. Sherman a letter of me confessing to myself that I’m in love with Jared. Not because liking Jared is bad, I just!! I don’t want Sherman to know? He’ll never let go of it. Ever. He’ll draw some wacko conclusion that I’m anxious because I’m confused or confused because I’m anxious or something that isn’t even true. I’m a senior with anxiety, too many facts about trees, and a huge crush on the closest thing to a friend I have. He’ll think I’m insane, or demented, or something awful. He’ll tell my mom and Jared’ll find out and I’ll just never ever hear the end of it. Jared’s calling me to eat. I think he made pancakes. He’s… so adorable. Sincerely, Me.

The kind I dream about all day Holy shit. Holy shit. Okay, so, Evan stayed over, slept on my bed, I made him breakfast, everything was all fine and dandy. I was cleaning up my room, putting shit away, when I found Evan’s laptop. Like. His actual laptop. I didn’t even fucking know he brought it, I was so confused. And then I fucking opened it. Evan has to write these letters to himself, it’s some therapy thing to help with his anxiety. And he had one open! I wasn’t going to read it, you know, it’s a private thing but then I saw my name and, well, I couldn’t fucking control myself. By the time I had processed it was about me, I had already read like a paragraph and a half. My brain just fucking fried after reading I came to terms about I felt about Jared a long time ago. Like.. the first little part of his letter made that seem like it had a great connotation to it, you know? A good kind of feeling about me? Right? So why the fuck am I freaking out that it’s something bad? I don’t have the balls to keep reading; it’s his therapy shit, I can’t just fucking read it! Besides, it’s about the party or some shit. I was there, I don’t need a recap! I really do not have any reason to keep reading Evan’s stupid sex letter to himself. No reason at all. Okay, I just read the whole fucking thing and HOLY SHIT. Evan has a crush on “the closest thing he has to a friend”. Which, based on the second gayest paragraph I’ve ever read (the first gayest was clearly written by me, somewhere in this shit), means me. Like. Me. Jared Kleinman. Evan Hansen has a crush on Jared Kleinman. Like. That’s me. It’s not like he has other friends, I mean, I’d know. Plus, the aforementioned second gayest paragraph seals the fucking deal. (Note to self: stop brushing your hair because Evan Fucking Hansen finds your bedhead cute) The real question now is what the fuck do I do with this information? I know Evan likes me, and that I like Evan. Evan probably suspects I like him? He can’t be that dense. Then again, I’m probably that dense. How didn’t I notice he liked me? He isn’t that secretive about shit, after all. Did the entire fucking world know except me? According to Evan, the answer to that is a huge fucking yes with a capital Y-E-S. Clearly, I have to return his laptop, right? That’s a valid excuse to talk to him. Just start with the laptop and somehow transition to “I heard you have a super gay crush on me, don’t ask who told me, I also have a huge gay crush on you, let’s be mega gays together.” Real classy. I’m sure that won’t give him a giant panic attack that’ll end up with him breathing into a paper bag. I’ll just text him. That works, I’ll just send him a little message, it’ll be fine. There, sent. U left ur laptop lol That’s casual! And very me. Probably won’t end in the fucking paper bag. So that’s taken care of. Fuck, I should pack up his laptop in something. Maybe he left his laptop bag too? Update: he did. I packed everything up and put it in a corner. I’m just gonna walk over to his house, hand over his computer and pretend I don’t know he likes me. He likes me. Evan Hansen likes me. I don’t think I’m ever getting over that? Knowing me, I’ll bring it up. I can’t not bring it up! How do you keep that shit under wraps?! When your crush likes you, you don’t just sit on that, right? You gotta tell them. I have to tell him. Fuck, I have to tell him. I think I’ve come full circle, how do I tell him? I’ll just.. sit him down. Tell him I like someone and that person is him, and is he okay with that? I’ll talk quick because otherwise he’ll think I’m talking about someone else, but it’s him. It’s always been him. I’m gonna go return his laptop. Fuck. Wish me luck? I really hope I don’t fuck this up.

Can’t sleep love Dear Evan Hansen, Today’s going to be a killer day and here’s why. Tomorrow is our six-month anniversary! Hell yeah! Exciting, right? I can’t fucking believe it’s only been six months. Feels like forever, doesn’t it? Wayy longer than that, but I kept track. I counted and everything. Six months ago, I showed up to your house with a laptop and told you I liked you. It… fucking took you a while to realize I wasn’t joking. After we cleared that shit up… well. Six months ago, we made out sooo fucking much. Maybe we can do that again sometime? Just saying. (insert :smirk: here) I literally am staying up writing this, because surprise, I forgot I wanted to do this before now. It’s almost midnight, I’m hoping to finish as soon as it’s our anniversary, and let you find it. Because I’m hilarious. As I’m writing this, you’re asleep and clinging to me. Like… it’s making writing very hard. Remind me to just be a super sappy asshole next time you’re doing homework with me anywhere around, as payback. Sometimes, I think long and hard about what the fuck I did to deserve you. I don’t think I have an answer yet, but you make me feel like I should. You make me feel so great, like I am worth attention and shit. I fucking love you for it, and I really hope I do the same for you. I almost hate myself less with you. Granted, it’s hard to stop hating me, so it’s a work in progress. Where was I going with that? Anyway. I don’t know how you write these things, even to yourself. It’s so difficult. I keep erasing things because once I write them, you know, maybe I can’t take them back. I could just delete this whole thing, but, there’s a point to this. Evan, I love you. Even if I don’t express it in the best way (in my defense, memes are a good way to express how I feel about you), it’s the truth. I love texting you first thing in the morning and going to the park with you (even if bugs seem to love me way too much) and all that good shit. I love falling asleep with you on the sofa and cuddling and making you get up and go to bed because the sofa is so uncomfortable?? How do you fall asleep on that?? Is it because I’m a kick-ass pillow?? I just love everything about you and I really fucking hope we have more anniversaries to come. But also, if you show anyone this letter, I’m dumping you for Connor Murphy, don’t fucking test me. I have never had a crush on him like someone thought, but I’ll get that weed-head to fall for me so hard, you won’t even know. All joking aside, though, happy anniversary and I love you. Sincerely, Me (your boyfriend. Jared Kleinman. That’s me. Still not over that.) P.S. Take these memes: http://tinyurl.com/evans-meme http://tinyurl.com/insert-gay-shit-here http://tinyurl.com/evan-meme-1 Happy anniversary (again) and… I love you.

#kleinsen #dear evan hansen #evan hansen #jared kleinman #kleinsen fic #hi lissy I love this so much #this is so sos so good #entries #submission

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empresspilaf-blog · 7 years

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these are actually hella fucking cute y’all

I’m answering all of these because as previously stated I have a real thing for filling stuff out. I like being asked questions it’s fun, keeps my brain workin’ :D

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? More milk. And I never drink it at the end. I can’t, I’ll get sick. I can’t drink milk, and if I have cereal too often I’ll get sick. But it’s just not right if there isn’t lots of milk D’: 2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? NOOOOOOOOOOO DDDDD: 3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? Anything? I think there’s a Mythology book around here somewhere with a peanut M&M’s wrapper in it.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? I don’t put anything in tea, and I’ll drink black coffee, but sometimes I put creamer in it. If it’s available. I like peppermint mocha best yum :D

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Nope! I think it’s pretty nice, actually. It’s one ofthe few things I actually like about myself lol. I hate my body and my acne but I think my nose, eyes, and smile are decent. I had braces so my teeth are straight. I didn’t wear my top retainer though so there’s a small gap, but it doesn’t bother me. Except when I eat apples. The skin always gets stuck >:( My teeth could be whiter, and they’re small and square looking, but I think my smile is alright.

6: do you keep plants? No, but I want to. I just can’t keep up with that stuff. And my room faces a very shaded yard so sunlight really doesn’t come in.

7: do you name your plants? I totally would! 8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? I prefer to draw with pencil/colored pencil, charcoal, and I’m trying to use inking pens. I suck at painting lol. I did just get a tablet, though, and Autodesk Sketchbook. So that’s been fun to play with. 9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? Oh yeah. I would love to be able to sing really well. So far I can do a decent Marilyn Monroe impression lol. My favorite thing to sing along to is No Doubt. I love Gwen’s voice. It’s a good exercise too, all the vibrato and crazy patterns she does. I also like to sing Heart, too. My boyfriend says I sound pretty good, but I still won’t let anyone else hear me lol. Even though he’s a musician and probably knows what he’s talking about, I still don’t think it’s that great haha 10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? Yes.

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? Hmm I can’t think of any that don’t require a long explanation lol. Well okay, how about this. I didn’t ever really drink until I turned 21 (almost exactly a year ago, January 17!), and then when we’d hag out with friends and I’d get drunk, I’d start going up to people whispering “Hey. I’ve never been drunk before” in their ear lol. Like ever time it happened (which wasn’t all that much, I’m still not a huge drinker). It got to the point that now if I drink, everyone goes “Watch out for Robyn, she’s getting drunk for the first time!”

12: what’s your favorite planet? Uranus ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Hehe uhm Jupiter, because it’s full of gas, like me? I’ve honestly never really thought about this. I think Neptune is the prettiest, and I like the idea that humans may be able to live on Mars. ~Sailor Pluto is my favorite Sailor Scout. :D

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? A mess hahahahahahahahahaaha. She has three cats and I have a dog. We both have depression, anxiety, BPD, OCD, and ADHD. (fun fact, our diagnoses are identical. We both have PTSD as well). But we love doing crafts and not cleaning our rooms, so I imagine there would be glitter, scrap fabric, pencil shavings, and wadded up paper everywhere. Among the pet hair, of course! 15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! 99% of the solar system’s mass is the sun! (shit!) 16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? S P A G H E T T I

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? Uhm well I’ve literally had every color lol. But right now, I’m having a lot of trouble getting red to stick to the lengths, it keeps fading to brown immediately. My hair is very damaged so it’s not too cooperative at this point :/

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. Uhm ok so I have IBS pretty bad, right? My friends and I went to Denny’s one night. We came back to one friend’s house, and I needed to fart (Sorry, this is gonna be gross lol). So as my friend Nick was coming up the stairs, I stuck my butt out and farted on his chest area. Only I didn’t fart. I pooped on him. HAHA and now everyone laughs at me because I shit on the bass player! The best part was I ran to the bathroom and I had my boyfriend get my spare undies from the car (gotta have those when you got that Irritable Bowel), and when I went back downstairs, Nick had no idea what had happened lololololol 19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? Nopeee 20: what’s your favorite eye color? I mean as far as what I find attractive, brown. Big brown eyes. On guys and girls. But especially guys. Girls with light eyes can still be cute but I think dark eyed men are just the best <3 That’s not to say there aren’t also some attractive men with light eyes (points to Bradley Cooper, Chris Hemsworth, Conrad Veidt, J o n a t h a n J o e s t a r). 21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. My smiley backpack! I just started really using it about a year ago, but I got it when I was like 3. so it’s around 19 years old. I actually just ripped one of the straps out partially last night, and I gotta sew it (thanks for the reminder!). It’s about a foot in diameter, and it’s just a giant yellow circle with a simple black smile and eyes and two straps. 22: are you a morning person? If by morning person you mean I stay up all night and am awake still when morning comes. Though I was up from Thursday evening to last night with no sleep, so I slept all last night and have been up since 6:30 this morning. 23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Well since I’m pathetic and I don’t have a job and the Kent State University won’t let me have Financial Aid (due to dropping my classes last semester because of HEALTH ISSUES, wtf), every day is like that. I hate it, actually. I do nothing but sleep. I stare at my computer for hours, scroll tumblr and Facebook, get out drawing supplies and then stare at the paper and cry, lay in bed and cry, cry and cry ;u; 24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? My boyfriend, Mr. Alexander Tortorella. He’s been one of my best friends since 2010, and my boyfriend for a little over 2 years. Also my two closest friends, Taylor, who I’ve been best buds with for over ten years (we even got tattoos together) and my friend Ryanne who I mentioned before (the one with all the problems like me lol). 25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? No where, I’ve never broken into anyplace. Other than my car once because I locked the keys in it lol. 26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? I actually have these flat slip on clogs that have like a brown sweater fabric that I got in 2006. I wear them pretty much all fall/winter if I’m just running to the store or to someone’s house. If there’s no snow, of course lol. I also have Converse I got in 2007 that have the British flag on them, and The Who’s logo on the tongue. there’s smiley faces drawn on the rubber at the toe, and along the side banding one one of them are lyrics to “What a Catch Donnie” by Fall Out Boy.

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? I love regular bubblegum’s taste but it doesn’t last long enough to bother. 28: sunrise or sunset? Sunset 29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? Uhh…? My friends aren’t really “cute” people hahahahaha. I mean Taylor has called me “Bobert” for years and that’s funny lol 30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? Yeah this one time when I was little I floated too far on a raft in Lake Erie and thought I was gonna end up in dying lol. I mean compared to other things that have happened in my life that really isn’t anything too bad, but the fear I felt at the time was so immense. 31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I love socks! Cool socks. I’ve got Marvel hero socks, whale socks, Star Wars socks, Sailor Moon socks, Winnie the Pooh sicks, sailboat socks, and funky pattern socks. I hate sleeping in socks though. I also have a collection of black dress socks from marching band haha 32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. I got naked and chased a friend down the street when I was 17. That was my one experience being drunk before I was 21 lol 33: what’s your fave pastry? Friggin Oreo Poptarts. They count. 34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? Little Pooh! And Big Pooh! I have a like 2 and a half foot sitting Pooh Bear and a small one. I dragged them both everywhere when I was little. I still slept with the small one until I was like 16. But it’s so worn and falling apart, I needed to switch to a larger version to cuddle lol. Now I just kinda cuddle whatever teddy bear or stuffed animal I grab haha 35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? Yes, but I don’t really have them. I do have some super cool Norman Rockwell notecards. And I have rainbow pens I use to color coordinate notes. I’’l freaking rip a page out and re-write everything if i mess up. 36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? Well I’m currently listening to “Fly” by Sugar Ray and I’d say that’s doin’ it pretty well :D 37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? Yeah so have you seen a tornado’s aftermath? 38: tell us about your pet peeves! People who chew their nails (Glares at Alex, even though he’s not here). Girls who talk all hood, and act dumb for attention, then get offended when you don’t take them seriously. 39: what color do you wear the most? Black lol 40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? I wear a ring everyday, I only take it off to shower. Alex has one too. They’re silver bands, and they have the coordinates to our high school engraved in them (that’s where we met). One has the latitude, one the longitude. Inside mine it says “Alex”, his says “Robyn”. 41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? White Oleander by Janet Fitch. 42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! I just like Starbucks. I’m a white girl. Sue me. 43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? Alex 44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? əʇndɯoɔ ʇou səop 45: do you trust your instincts a lot? Oh, no. I overthink everything 46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. I can’t just do this on the spot!!! The other day a friend asked if I was going into the medical field, because I was really nursing my beer lol 47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? BEANS. All beans. Fuck beans. 48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? Yep, spiders. 49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? The last CD I bought I think was Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge by My Chemical Romance. I’ve had every word of it memorized for like 10 years, but I never actually owned a hard copy. The last record I bought was probably Houses of the Holy by Led Zeppelin. *note; as I was moving on to the next question, the song “Houses of the Holy” came on my iTunes o.O (though let it be noted as well that the song “Houses of the Holy” is actually on the album “Physical Graffiti). 50: what’s an odd thing you collect? Souls. And old empty bottles. Like empty pop bottles. Not so much anymore, but I have a ton of them in my room that I use as decoration 51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? Pretty much anything from Def Leppard’s Pyromania or Van Halen’s 1984 reminds me of my dad because those are his favorite albums (and 2 of mine) 52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? I mean the salt guy is funny? I’ve really been slacking in the dank meme area lately. I am truly ashamed. 53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? I have only seen Beetlejuice of those (I knowwww), and I like it, but the heavy late 80′s asthetic creeps me out a bit. Not the stuff that’s supposed to be creepy, but all the black and white checkerboard and stripes, bright colors, and things like that lol 54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? My dog, because I wouldn’t let her have her bone back (it was bed time!) 55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? We don’t need to discuss that. Once again; I have BPD. That should tell you plenty. 56: what are some things you find endearing in people? Not being an asshole. That’s about it. 57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? I mean I do sometimes, other times I just listen and enjoy it. My friend Nick did a project for school (he’s a music production major) where he mixed the original tracks differently, and he made the bass and snare more prevalent and now the original sounds empty to me hahaha 58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? Lol what??? I mean I drink wine more than anything, but I probably drink more vodka than anyone else too lol. Most of them just smoke that reefer to be honest. Alex and I don’t, he doesn’t drink either. And I rarely drink vodka. But no one else ever does lol 59: what’s your favorite myth? The brown sound lol. The idea that there is a decibel so low that if you hear it, you’ll poop yourself! They proved it to be false on Mythbusters, though. 60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? I used to write poetry a lot. I actually was published in a national anthology of selected student poets in 9th grade. I have trouble being creative anymore, though. I like Thoreau and Walt Whitman. We studied them in 11th grade. 61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? I’ve never really given a gag gift. Though one time I wrapped a robe I got my sister in a series of boxes and duct tape just to mess with her :D I wouldn’t say I’ve ever received anything “stupid”. 62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? Nope. I like apple juice, though. Orange juice makes me sick. Acid reflux issues. 63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? OOOOHHHHHH Gotta be in alphabetical order. Though currently my books are strewn across my floor, mixed in with clothes, my Sailor Moon VHS collection, shoes, makeup, blah blah blah 64: what color is the sky where you are right now? Really light grey. Ohio is bland and gross. 65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? My friend Taylor. she doesn’t live very close so I don’t ever see her anymore :’( 66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? I have a few I made over the summer. My favorite is just a bunch of daisies. I love daisies <3 67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Lol indifferent. That’s what today looks like, and pretty much everyday around here. 68: what’s winter like where you live? Well when I was younger, it was snowy and bright and fun. Now it barely snows, and it’s always gloomy and muddy and gross. My basement flooded a couple days ago because it rained so hard. 69: what are your favorite board games? MONOPOLYYYY. I got a Dogopoly for Christmas hehe. I like Sorry and Clue a lot too. 70: have you ever used a ouija board? Nope

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? Green tea, and the youthberry/ wild orangeblosson tea from Teavanna 72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yeah pretty much. And I still always tell myself I won’t forget shit, and then I do. 73: what are some of your worst habits? Smoking cigarettes, sleeping too much, drinking pop instead of water, picking my nose lol. I’m twitchy and fidgety but that’s just the OCD and ADHD. 74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. Uhhhhhhhhh “Big fat faggot”. (that’s actually how he would describe himself, he likes going up to people and saying “I’m REALLY gay”) 75: tell us about your pets! I have my darling baby Mae Mae, she’s around 9(??) she’a a black mutt that looks like a bear/wolf lol. I got her from the Humane Society. Then there’s Bellatrix, who my mom got from the HS. She’s a brindle boxer, almost 4 years old. We have a 7 month old kitten named Hosta. My mom found her in the hosta bushes outside this summer, so we named her after the flowers lol. We also have a guinea pig, of my sister’s, named Alfie. He’s about 2? 76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? I could use a shower. 77: pink or yellow lemonade? Pink <3

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? I thought they were cute in Despicable Me, but it’s gotten way out of hand. 79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? Alex once bought me ice cream and flowers and made a sign that said “sorry for being a douche”. I don’t even remember what he did wrong, it was cute :3 80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? Well a few months before we moved in, I painted them purple. Then I decided that was boring like a couple weeks before we moved, and I got tihs cool 70s-looking (or even 30s really) floral wallpaper with like gold and pewter flowers and I put it on two walls. I painted the one wall orange, the tiny bit around the closet sage green, and the area around the door with chalkboard paint. Then I got mad one day about a year later and went and bought light green and covered the orange. I still don’t really know why lol. 81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. Dude what? I don’t stare at anyone’s eyes? 82: are/were you good in school? HAHAHAHHA. I got suspended for mooning someone. That’s all you need to know. 83: what’s some of your favorite album art? Queen’s News of the World has a sweet cover. Def Leppard’s High N’ Dry, Smashing Pumpkins’ Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, Aphex Twin’s “Windowlicker” single, of course. Green Day’s Dookie, Dio’s Holy Diver. There are aa TON but you know. I’m getting sick of typing lol 84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? I’m planning on getting a lot lol. Currently a Ginger Rogers close-up on my forearm. I have a Pooh sketch on my side, “You’re braver than you believe” (Pooh quote) written in my friend’s handwriting on my right shoulder, and “There’s still time to change the road you’re on” on my right foot (”Stairways to Heaven” lyrics). 85: do you read comics? what are your faves? Yes, Marvel, Infinity Gauntlet is my favorite. (not including manga because I’m ready to be done with this lol) 86: do you like concept albums? which ones? Yeah, they’re cool! Currently I’ve been listening to To Pimp a Butterfly a lot, actually. 87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Star Wars (original 3), Back to the Future, A Clockwork Orange, Metropolis 88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? A R T D E C O, art nouveau 89: are you close to your parents? My mother. I don’t talk to my father much. He was abusive to me, he’s an alcoholic. 90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. I don’t really have any? I don’t live cities very much. 91: where do you plan on traveling this year? I’m going to North Carolina for a wedding, that’s about all I can think of. Probably going camping. 92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? CHEESE ME BABY 93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? Well I’m mostly just at home doing nothing so it’s just kinda down and pushed back out of my face. But when I go somewhere it’s usually something pinup-y or 2 buns on top of my head. 94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? Taylor’s was December 29. But mine is Tuesday! :DDD 95: what are your plans for this weekend? Alex has a show tonight, so there’s that. 96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? ”Remind me tomorrow” 97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? Don’t know, I’ve never taken one of those tests. I’ve started to, but I can’t really answer the questions right. My answer can go either way, my mood is always changing. I don’t believe it’s easy to pin down a BPD patient’s type. I’m a Capricorn, and I’m not really into Harry Potter. My IQ is pretty high though, lol. I’m proud of that. It’s the one thing I have haha. 98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? I don’t remember, but I know I whined the entire time because I’m out of shape lol 99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Uhhhh. My brain isn’t functioning at a very deep emotional level right now lol I can’t think of any? I guess “Blown Away” by Carrie Underwood, it reminds me of my father. 100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? Neither. I don’t want to change the way things are now. Sure, I’d love to tell myself “Don’t gain twice your body weight” and “don’t drop our of high school or college” but like, Butterfly Effect. I know somehow that would make it so I never reconnect with Alex, or I end up dating someone I wasn’t happy with, or what if somehow I got in a car wreck and died as a result of something stupid? And I don’t want to see the future. What happens happens and I don’t want to live in anticipation.

Feel free to talk to me about any of this stuff! I welcome friends, I’m lonely haha

#i did it #it's been two hours #TWO #HOURS #long ass post #oops #me #personal #someone please read this #lol #I doubt anyone will #but the sound of my keys is nice #long #read me #my life is boring

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