#you haven't even started playing yet!

[mierolainen]

some 20 years of water under the bridge

#drarins #mara #levi #me @ myself: bitch STOP speculating what would happen in campaign endgame! #you haven't even started playing yet! #anyway #will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful etc #the answer is no. of course not. #that implies there was love there in the first place #man I waited so long to post this that now it looks Old to me. smh why do I always do this

[ineed-to-sleep]

Well. He wasted no time

#IT'S JUST REALLY FUNNY TO ME. OKAY #in my first playthrough he took his fuckign time #bc ok. I was playing as the same character. but also it was the 1rst playthrough #so I ended up juggling between playing the character and doing whatever I wanted to do bc. well I wanted to be niceys #but now that I'm roleplaying her consistently he's going bananas dlkfhdlf #like 4 long rests in #I haven't even made it to the goblin camp yet #and hes like oohh I know you've felt it I felt it too 💅🏻 #and like in my first playthrough I had the impression they had this like slow burn sort of romance #like butting heads a lot at the start but then slowly growing on each other #but it's not like that at all now. they actually like. get along like a house on fire #this woman used to date nwn2 bishop back in the day tho this shouldn't have come as a surprise #I've changed her quite a bit since that game yk. but still. the parts of her that attract toxic men remain <3 #oc.nawen #bg3 #sleep.txt #you should've seen it I started a durge playthrough with pepper on impulse just for funsies #he fucking hated her #just like. not on board. calling her hard headed and boring #it was brutal #PEPPER IS LOVELY OK you don't deserve her #I wasn't happy w how she ended up looking tho 😔 gotta get some better face/hair mods and try again sometime #ship: narion

[da-proti-toku-grem]

how do you know the difference between a huge anxiety attack and a panic attack?

#i think i had a panic attack yesterday but idk...... #god it felt so awful and it went on for like 3 hours #but i also had like a hundred things going on so idk if it was like the accumulation of everything or if it was really a panic attack yk #i was at the fair with my family waiting for my best friend to arrive bc i was going to hang out with her #and yk it's a place full of people and we were standing right next to a huge speaker hearing a man talk #and also each place in the fair has different music playing super loud and you can hear all of them at the same time (+ the flashing lights #all that causes me anxiety every since i was little (even if i didn't know it was anxiety back then) #so i *knew* i was going to have the greatest time and i didn't really want to go there in the first place #but even with that i wasn't really haven't a bad time (yet) #we were just stading there and i was waiting for my friend to call me so we could go somewhere else #she called me to tell me she was coming and right when i hung up the phone i felt a really strong pang on my belly #and idk at first i thought it was period cramps but it was weird bc my period had actually stopped that same morning #also i had taken a painkiller right before going there bc all that i mentioned earlier also gives me migraines so there's that too #so yeah the pangs kept getting stronger and it hurt so fucking bad to the point my legs started trembeling #my vision blured and every sound around me seemed to almost fade away #there wasn't any place i could sit down so i gad to cling to my dad and he had to hold me so i didn't fall to the ground #i think i almost (?) fainted in his arms too #after a while the dizzines went away and my dad went to get me smth to drink and i mostly got my hearing and vision back to normal #all that was like 10 minutes max but then the pangs kept hitting every minute or so for the next 3 hours #we found a place to sit and find smth to eat but i couldn't eat anything without wanting to throw up #my legs wouldn't stop shaking like fucking crazy and i kept going from feeling like i was freezing to sweating from how hot i felt #idk i've had smth like this (w/o the pangs) happen to me before a bunch of times but never That strong and it usually lasted 5-10min max #we ended up having to go home and i had to take some more painkillers and my sleeping pills to be able to calm down a little #i'm pretty sure i fell asleep from exhaustion after everything and i'm still feeling a bit weird after almost 24 hours since it happened #anyways. the thing is idk if all that was caused bc of my anxiety #or if it was smth completely unrelated and i just had such a bad tummy ache that it made me feel bad enough to cause All That yknow #i think it felt pretty much like how i've heard people describe a panic attack but again i'm not sure #yeah......... #maca speaks

[lupismaris]

Sometimes self care is having a very stern talking to with the wounded scared parts of yourself that don't want to do the hard and difficult things and reminding them that nothing will get better if the hard and difficult things aren't even attempted

And then as a reward you promise to buy those wounded parts of yourself an entirely hot pink/pastel pink practice set if they agree to do the work required, as a little treat

#my doctor hasnt cleared me for the pitch yet so I haven't been practicing or playing yet this season and it sucks #i went to nola to support the team and did so! but i still felt out of place and forgotten about because i wasnt playing #i was rooming with players and the majority of them were very self involved (semi derogatory) which i wouldn't fault them for #if it hadnt been so deeply exhausting and so constant even after the tourney. but it is what it is i was there for them #im just tired of always feeling like the forgotten 'oh right and the other james' and feeling unwanted which isnt true #i have a place with the ferals even with my illness its my wounded ego causing issue. just cause the rfc coach was passively a dick #doesnt mean i need to pass up a wonderful opportunity for play time and friendship. ill have a chance to play with the guys #in time and ill have time to socialize with them as well in time #but i shouldn't squander an opportunity just because im wounded and bitter because of old traumas #besides more time to get fundamentals ironed out #so im ignoring my doctor somewhat and km gonna start practicing this week #lightly. just light stuff you know. cardio and working with the ball maybe since i shouldn't be on the heavy bag yet #and then next week ill buy my practice set and customize it as a Bribe to myself

[yeah-thats-probably-it]

say what you like about having your vocabulary ruined by bertie wooster but at least whenever I'm indecisive from now on I'll always be able to say that I'm letting 'I dare not' wait upon 'I would' and make everyone think I'm cultured

#that and 'like quills upon the fretful porpentine' #live in my head rent free #i DID read macbeth in school but wouldn't have remembered that line #tbf i hope one day to be able to understand shakespeare plays #my j&w brainrot is so bad rn that i got the complete works on audible #started a midsummer night's dream #couldn't really follow it #bought an annotated copy but haven't got into it yet #people who are really into shakespeare say you have to see it performed bc just reading won't do the trick #but my auditory processing is real bad and combine that with the fact that the language is so different #it's a bit dense for me (or maybe i'm a bit dense for it) #also i can't find a filmed production #anyway um #jeeves and wooster #jeeves books #that's where this post started yeah i remember now #i did NOT read hamlet in school and there's always been a feeling hanging over me that i really should #you're SUPPOSED to have read hamlet even if only under duress #universal high school experience reading hamlet and not appreciating it it seems

[astrxealis]

good morning my personality for the day is that i'm uncontrollably sobbing on the inside about ff9 and ff10

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #RAGHHH FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL AGAIN....... feels unreal tbh lol whatever #i'm a tad bit sick which is worrisome and it's been raining a fuckton in the ph . thankfully i'm not affected #but my heart goes out to those who have :') you guys here stay safe okay!! #and HIII I HOPE YOU ALL ARE WELL <3 it's way too early for me in the morning i woke up at 5 holy fuck uh. i hope u all are well #anyway Not Alone and Suteki Da Ne and Melodies Of Life ..... i am ruined #the ending of ffx . the whole thing with Friendship in ffix. #yk the funny thing... ffx was my childhood it is and was everything to me and my first final fantasy but i still haven't finished it actuall #ik the story and i'm literally at the end but my spheres suck. i was not even 13 when i started playing okay.... on ps3 And ps4 #:(( tidus and yuna are everything to me. the whole main cast is tbh. i love them dearly #ix i have not actually played yet hahaha i'm crazy ik but my twin has!! anddd i just love all final fantasies vvv much #ik some stuff abt ix but obvs it's nothing compared to. Actually Playing The Game #i did play a bit tho ^_^ until the #vamo' alla flamenco!! #oh i had to search it to make sure i was right in spelling and Bless. i actually was lol #honestly idk my fav in ix but x it is . tidus yuna rikku. can't pick! but yes i adore tidus he's everything #uhmm ix tho... freya? zidane? dagger? vivi? ya #awh. i love ff sooo much #still also very much in a xiv mood btw. uhmm raha themis alisaie hyth zenos zero my beloveds! #those r my top favs me thinks but i have wayyy too many :] lyse... magnai... fandaniel... venat... thancred... ryne... urianger... fordola #and etc. dhgjsbsj there is a Lot. my heart goes out to so many of them but i think my top favs are the ones i said first fr ^_^ #funny daniel got demoted to a lesser fav i'm sorry luv LMFAO but maybe when i'm in a fandaniel mood again someday. yay!

[paris-geller-was-straightwashed]

'I just don't believe in/understand it!' well unfortunately for you I just don't stop existing as an agender person bc you don't believe in it. I'm not fucking tinkerbell.

#vent post #transphobia #let's play a game where we guess if my mom can ever learn to apologize when she did something wrong on accident #and that answer is rarely if ever #a lot of this isn't going to make sense #so just ignore me #also class move from my mom in response to being told she was (potentially) misgendering to RANDOMLY BRING IN MY FATHER WHO I'VE BEEN TOO #SCARED TO EVEN COME OUT TO YET #LIKE NO I HAVEN'T BROUGHT THIS UP WITH DAD AND YOU FUCKING KNOW WHY #BUT THANKS FOR BRINGING HIM INTO THE CONVERSATION I GUESS THAT WAS SUPER RELEVANT #maybe I messed up but so fucking did you #confronted her in the most neutral and nicest way I could bc I KNEW she wasn't misgendering on purpose and so I SAID THAT #and /I/ get called TOO SENSITIVE when asking them too be a bit more careful #I'm not asking for tHE FUCKING MOON HERE I'm asking you to LEARN TO CORRECT YOURSELF WHEN MESSING UP #and I keep fucking saying sorry why do I DO this the second there's friction #I just start apologizing for her and saying I never meant to cause harm I can never stick to my guns when I feel someone's mad at me #especially someone I'm close to why am I LIKE this #this happened the last time we argued and then I feel bad and she gets off scott free #this sounds one-sided but to be fair I did make a misunderstanding #but I still get called ''''too sensitive''''' while holding no accountability #I was APPROACHABLE and NEUTRAL in bringing it up so we could HAVE A CONVERSATION LIKE ADULTS #and yet STILL ASKING FOR TOO MUCH and get the cold shoulder #I knew she was mad from the first text #this shifts lines a little for me #misgendering #tw transphobia

[sevicia]

I wanted to make a cleaner summary of last week's classes and also review the classes I have this week since the material is already uploaded beforehand but I was feeling so horrible throughout the day that when I sat down I was just gonna look at the ones for tomorrow but I think I'm just gonna go to bed because I just gave my little numbers game a few tries and not even the joy of tribial elementary school-level math games is bringing my brain cells and/or full sentience back

#diary #accessing it through the CMD thing and not just running it from the IDE made me realize a few things about it though so I'll hav #I'll have to maybe jot them down somewhere when I'd normally just be rly excited and try to fix them straight away like I am truly fucked r #I do wanna make an eng version of it sometime soon so I can share it even tho it's literally the simplest little thing. it's fun if you're #an easily amused nerd that loves playing with numbers in a truly useless manner. if that makes sense #also very obviously text-only I am NOT torturing myself with any graphics of ANY kind rn #it closes immediatly as they do and also when it comes to having double/triple digit starting numbers it becomes a lot less fun I think tho #though I haven't used it much with those yet #I still wanna figure out a way of making it better when it comes to 2/3 digit starters. and my original idea included maybe keeping track #keeping track of how many steps you took even between different rounds but I made the simplest version for now. I also think making like a #''this was the least amount of steps possible!'' type thing would be very very cool but that is FAR too big brained for me rn #cause I can figure out how to do the record keeping thing but that last one is like. let's stop talking for a little while................. #oh but adding an actual interface sounds so fun even though I have very little clue on how to do that rn I could probably STOP typing becau #because I can feel my stupid ass self start getting excited about this which will make it so I start working on it instead of going to bed #NO. DOWN !!!!!!!!!!!!!! auhgh............ oh man I had a lame joke to make but I completely forgot what it was #I have coding class tomorrow in which I normally just do the exercises as fast as possible before playing around but the only Python editor #I could find installed on the school computers was Visual Studio Code and I have no clue how to use that shit like I don't need so many #so many buttons. probz. OKAY GOODNIGHT

[oh-meow-swirls]

i think my favorite gate of whimsy bizarre room is probably the phantomart one solely because hailey can also get it which means that you can get some pretty good items as her since you can buy stuff normally. but also because jibanyan still rides in the cart. best oversight i think-

#puppy rambles #yo-kai watch #yw3 #this playthrough i've just gotten boring gates of whimsy. and also an expert room where i fought unkaind once #had all my yo-kai oneshot and then promptly left #10/10 would recommend- /j #i just wanna match the comedy of my last playthrough where during one of the parts in nate's story where buck follows you on the overworld #i went into a gate of whimsy. greatly amusing to me. normal bestie activities #i don't know why it's so funny to me but it is. but i have shit gate of whimsy luck honestly 😔 #i've found more as hailey than as nate. gate globes are literally useless as hailey and i'm not at chapter 6 yet- #tbh wouldn't be surprised if chapter 5 takes me all day. grumbler's grotto sucks #n hailey's chapter 5 is hard. it's fun but it's also hard #you have to fight meganyan and doctor maddiman in the same chapter. and there's a third key quest but i don't remember it rn- #oh god that's when you can start the pop star photo quest too isn't it. hell #in my first save files i only have two left i'm pretty sure and idk which ones i've found so guides aren't helpful 😔 #anyways. haven't even played 3 yet today i'm just hyperfixating <3

[riddlerosehearts]

i have not been online in several days and part of that is because i've been really busy with actual irl stuff so i've barely Done much in general. part of it is also because i not only got back into final fantasy 14 but may or may not have decided to try baldurs gate 3, so all of the free time i've had has been spent gaming lol. oops.

#followers/mutuals if any of you play these games you should tell me about your player characters #and then maybe i'll talk about mine. #i've only just started heavensward in ff14 though. i got into it a While ago but got really bored with ARR #and bg3 i've done so little that i haven't even met karlach yet lol

[lanami-legacy]

New hyperfixation unlocked! Killiks from SWTOR, apparently?

Still trying to decide if the Kind and Joiners are a cult tho lol

#i started playing the imperial agent when I should be trying to catch up to my friends on Trooper character #i am looking respectively at Vector Hyllus (even tho I haven't met him yet) #you know how I am I'll end up making a joiner OC if I'm not careful #showerthoughts #old republic era

[andnatiabrosca]

hey! from the new ask game, 6, 14, 27 for Nat and Mal (and/or anyone else you'd like)! :3

[[question source]]

6. What would they think of each other's combat skills/techniques?

Not directly about skills, but about classes: Nat is a little jealous of Mal being a sword-and-shield warrior. They have similar backgrounds and worked in similar positions in the Carta, but Nat always needed to be able to hide or scrounge up new weapons, and it's a lot harder to steal sword and shield than little daggers and knives.

Malachite's never been very fast or light on her feet, so she's pretty impressed with all of the rogue skills, especially stealth and whirlwind - style techniques. She thinks Nat spends too much time tight with opponents, though.

Nat doesn't think as highly of Malachite's skills, and also would be absolutely FURIOUS with Malachite for taking the Templar specialization. Malachite can just wade into the fray, holler, and let people wail on her, and complete what she needs to in the battle. That's not skill, Nat thinks.

(Actually, fun timing on this because I'm just learning that Mal should just waltz into the middle of a fight and take over. I'm so used to running Nat, who can't body all the damage from a dragon for 4+ minutes of a fight. Also, just took the Templar spec for Malachite, not because it's the best for her - I think that would have been Champion - but because she is terrified of the Breach and of Cassandra/The Inquisition, and is hoping by playing into the Chantry she might gain favor & power over the rifts.)

27. What would their fears on the graves in the fade during Here Lies the Abyss be?

I'm not certain why right now - might get to think & expand later but _ (also I don't remember how the graves were specifically marked. been a minute)

Nat: Devotion

Malachite: Irrelevance

(And Freebies:)

Mar: Hunger

Miri: Power

14. If they'd been in each other's places, would they have made the same or different choices? And who would they have romanced, if anyone?

This one is Hard. It's going to be Long and lots of Rambly Thoughts, so it's last. With the implementation of 'shorten long posts' I no longer really use read-mores unless for fics. Sorry if that's a bother.

Let's look at Malachite Cadash, Grey Warden and Hero of Fereldan. I'm going to assume the timelines are still the same, they just get picked up at different times (and I'm using my adjusted timeline for years, because that's the one they live in).

She's 19, brand painted on her face to run some work down in Orzammar, when she gets caught up by the guards and rescued - conscripted - by Duncan. The specifics don't really matter here. She's from the surface; she understands surface politics well enough, and she didn't have her family pushing her to join the Wardens. Maybe her family doesn't even know.

That's an entirely different scenario.

Even in her 30s, Malachite is much more fear-driven than Nat, and much less driven to save everyone. She won't be making decisions based on compassion. She'll make her decisions based on what will take the least time and have the greatest effect. She's a surfacer, and that will change her decisions as well.

Best guesses? She'd kill Connor, likely kill Zathrian, and maybe recruit Loghain - depending on how scared she was and how much she trusted Alistair's abilities.

I'm not sure who she would romance - she romances Josie because Josie gives her something outside of her own fear to pin onto (if we're looking only at the characters thematically). Maybe Leliana, to be honest. At 19, she would probably take the dream at face value, and be able to be swayed to Andrastianism and thus not clash with Leli like she does in Inquisition, when she is resolute in the Stone.

And what about Nat Brosca, Herald of Andraste and Inquisitor?

She's 33. Something changed in her life that she lived this long. She would never have gone topside without Rica, and I don't think she could have hung on even until Endrin was born. So, let's say Rica's sponsor falls through. Their position in the Carta is tenuous at best at the start of the origin; it dissolves as soon as Bhelen backs out. They run.

Nat's still wrapped up in the Carta; she doesn't know another way to live. She can end up at the Conclave as Cadash normally does - or as part of another mercenary group. She has very little family to care for, compared to her own life. We can say Rica has a kid, a family. Nat's missing her Gwina - who is her driving force at this point in her own timeline. If she never leaves Rica and the Carta, Nat never gets to grow. Also, if she never carries children she never fulfills her cultural understanding as "woman" and would probably actually be a "man" (or another dwarven gender - lore theory is in the works). I'm still gonna use she/her here for Nat.

So, we're looking at a person who is centered around duty, who believes she needs to try to save everyone, but has been shown over and over again that she is not capable of it. She's dangerous, angry, stubborn, and has just been handed the most powerful object and title in the world.

Where Malachite tempers her decisions, trusts people to make their own decisions, and is always trying to play both sides as Inquisitor, Nat goes full despot. That's really what it is. She wants to save everyone and now she can.

She certainly doesn't try to disband the Inquisition. She probably goes for Cass as Divine, because Cass seems the most controllable. I'd wager she banishes the Wardens, and destroys every other army she gets the chance to (in the middle of a DAI playthru right now and don't remember exactly what choices). Her choice between Mages and Templars would be decided by her reading of Cullen and Solas. I wouldn't expect her to have interacted with mages much, and she would lean towards the controlling aspect of the Templars, but would be swayable either way.

In romances, Nat looks for lifelines - reasons to stay alive - and connection. She won't broker any attempts or feelings of being converted. Once she starts to heal, she looks for people who challenge her and have her back.

What would Nat, burned and damaged and controlling look for? Fight.

She would never feel satisfied with someone who wouldn't fight back to her, even if she thought she wanted someone to submit to her will. She wouldn't be able to stand Solas because he doesn't understand the fight, as evidenced by banter with Varric. I think Blackwall would anger her, but she wouldn't know why. Sera wouldn't be able to fight the way Nat wants, but would get herself punched in the face with a badly-timed prank.

I hesitate to say Nat would romance anyone, actually. The only options I could really see (of companions + advisors) would be hardened!Leliana or Iron Bull. She and Bull wouldn't be romantic, but they'd have good fun. Nat and Leliana would be crossing paths at their most destructive, but most compatible. It would be explosive but somewhat successful.

#birch answers #layalu #thank you!! it's taken a couple days to become real again and I'm still not quite there but! #can answer asks now and am planning on editing that nat fic for posting #oc: nat brosca #oc: malachite cadash #this is SO LONG because the q 14 became a really interesting thought exercise #I'm gonna tag it to find later and maybe write out #birch write this #yes Nat's writeup is much longer IN MY DEFENSE I first played Nat in 2017 and I JUST STARTED Malachite in December #haven't even finished mal's first playthru. she's not quite real yet

[heavensbled]

Every time Zack does that little giggle I-

#me sobbing into my pillow at night #i'm gonna start tagging my EC posts in case you wanna block 'em lmao #there's gonna be so many #i haven't even bothered going through the sephiroth story all the way yet #just got through the rest of the msq while at work today #hoo-boy am i ready for some back story on our favorite murder boy #also tryna fix my pages and theme?? #why am i set for dash only #how...where is the setting for that?? #tumblr...what have you done... #you've massacred my boy #look what you've done to my boy #i feel like an old man wtf #HeavensBled plays Ever Crisis

[longagoitwastuesday]

The self-conscious to arrogant pipeline in Blade's story... heathcliffean

#Don't do this to me don't do this to me don't do this to me #Don't you dare be more my type #I want him to die right now #It was all hehe hoho I'll give a try to this game! #It's summer after all! I'll have more conversation topics with Snow! And there's an iteration of a Jack-adjacent character! #It's almost one month later and I want to strangle past me for this choice #I'm so into this I haven't even started playing the game with the actual Jack-adjacent character yet #Terrible acts against the laws of humans‚ gods and the world and becoming deranged and monstrous in the name of love‚ my most beloved #I talk too much

[ms-hells-bells]

Yes in response to your own reply to the post about infertily and miscarriage being prolifey- the person said half of your blog is you feeling superior for being vegan, that you're a chronically online idiot and conforming to patriarchal standards to believe you can have a connection to the fetus.

Lmao

:| they must have blocked me, i didn't see it lol. pregnant women having connections to their wanted unborn future children is patriarchal brainwashing 😭😭😭 these people are insane. i have never wanted kids, i have zero connection to babies, i'd have an abortion in a heartbeat and not give a fuck, it'd be like an annoying generic medical procedure for me, but i have this thing where i am able to empathise with emotions and mindsets that differ from my own experiences and personality lol

#if someone is doing sports in highschool with the plan to go to the olympics and gets injured and can't play anymore #and are devastated #do you go 'why are you sad lol you just started and didn't even get to the olympics yet what are you crying about?' #or if someone discovered they had the breast cancer gene and got them removed and was upset #would you go 'you're dumb and shallow bc you haven't even got cancer yet why does it matter that you have no breasts is it patriarchy?' #or if someone as a small child has a relative die and as an adult they have sadness about it #would you go 'but you didn't even know them so they're as good as a stranger and it's dumb to mourn them' #a basic lack of understanding of future dreams and emotions relating towards life goals #basic human emotions #it's the loss of the life you planned and found happiness in hoping to achieve #the death of 'what could have been' #'what could have been' never trumps 'what is now' which is why women are always above unborn cells #but unrelated to that issue is the emotions a woman has regarding a WANTED pregnancy

[kyaruun]

I promise I'm okay

panda. pandita. it doesn't look like you're okay

pls take a break ;;<3

#look i haven't even hit 100k yet #and i started playing at like 8 am in the morning #how can you even play more than 2-3 songs in one sitting #good luck getting the baru! he's close <3