#you know i've been thinking about it for a long time and chemical calculations at igcse level are a certain type of brainrot | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

w000ble · 6 months

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TRANSCRIPT - FROM 31:39

Tim: I found out that atoms don't look anything like every atom I've ever seen drawn looks like. (Bryn: No, that's complete lies) Tim: They're all lies! Bryn: Yep. Tim: Because all of the electrons are basically everywhere in a big cloud of potentialness— (Bryn: Yes, absolutely.) Tim: —and so it wouldn't look anything like every atom I've ever been shown! EXPLAIN!

Bryn: Atoms are drawn like solar systems because... apparently people who draw diagrams of atoms believe children are stupid. Tim: I would have preferred a cloud of— look, here is a globe, the atom is everywhere and nowhere all at the same time— again, if you'd have told me that, and that dude's crazy-ass name, I'd have been much more interested in science! Bryn: (Cracking up) Ben: To be fair though, it would make it much more difficult to count the electrons when you were doing one of those puzzles about like, 'we knock the electron out and what isotope does it become' so you have to count the electrons and work it out. Tim: Just dissolve it into a cloud and go, 'best of luck!' Ben: Yeah exactly, exactly you just flick one out of the cloud and like (PFBBBT) 'Have a guess. :)'

Bryn: This is actually an important point about science— is, y'know we talked about science being a method of understanding truth, or not, as the case may be. Tim: It's an onion of lies! Bryn: —and a lot of science is lies, because what science really is, is a model of the universe; of reality. It's not— you know, it is not necessarily a perfect understanding, and especially when quantum physics was being developed, where we discovered stuff like: an electron is actually a cloud of possibilities, we discovered that the universe is much weirder and harder to understand than we could possibly have imagined before, Tim: So we stopped trying. Ben: (Pffffft) Bryn: Basically, yes. What we have to accept is that our understanding of the universe is what we call a 'model' and the model is only useful as long as it makes predictions. But the model can also be useful, even when it doesn't necessarily reflect reality. And so chemists, to understand chemical reactions, and to understand things like isotopes or chemical bonding between elements— their model of the atom doesn't need to care about the fact that electrons aren't little balls of stuff orbiting around the center of the atom. (Tim: Okay. Alright.) Bryn: Their model allows them to make accurate predictions of the real world based on something that is not technically true, but— We've talked about the scientific method— hypothesis, test conclusion. If their hypothesis is a model that, in certain circumstances, we can say, 'an atom works like this,' and it makes correct conclusions, then it doesn't matter that the real picture is more complicated. And we do this all the time in physics as well. So you've probably both studied— y'know back in school— stuff like the laws of motion, and you probably had to calculate cars moving around, or billiard balls, or things on slopes.

Tim: I was asked to, I can't claim that I ever did— but I was certainly asked to.. Ben: Probably, and at some point I was asked about Boyle's law, and shown a spring, and I was like 'ah, (unintelligible), I dunno.' Bryn: (Cracking up) Sure. In all these examples, we ignore air resistance. Unless you're studying— y'know, and depending on what age you're studying these things, you may or may not ignore friction. But we know these things from our everyday experience exist, and we know that if we wanted to get super accurate results, we'd have to include air resistance and friction, but actually the results that we get by ignoring them are close enough that if we don't need to be 100% accurate, if we're just trying to make a decent prediction, the prediction is good enough most of the time.

Tim: It's spherical chickens again. ((I think this is a reference to the previous Tim & Ben do Science episode)) Bryn: It's spherical chickens in a vacuum, absolutely. And it's an important joke in a way, because what it says is, 'well, reality is complex and messy as we've already established, and science helps us understand it, but if science is making accurate predictions, that's really what's important.' And accurate predictions are essentially specific to a certain field or a certain test. If I say, 'well if I chuck this acid and this alkalide into a cup together, I don't need to know what's going to happen with every single atom inside. What I need to know is what's gonna end up in the cup at the end. Tim: There's potentially a lovely analogy, I think, from cartography where they say 'the only true map is the exact size and shape of the thing you are trying to map.' (Bryn: Absolutely.) Tim: '—but best of luck taking that on a short camper-vanning holiday in the Cotswolds.'

END TRANSCRIPT - AT 35:45

And you're telling me we're supposed to be more engaged, as high school students, with a model by some guy named Bohr than the QUANTUM CAT BOX guy??

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squishmallow36 · 2 years

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Aurora Irae

I figured I've accidentally written them into enough other oneshots I should give Marelliana their own story. I originally planned on using OCs for this but well Arsonist!Marella was too fun to turn down.

Word count: 3.5k

TW: swearing, blood, a knife, arson, implied murder due to aforementioned arson, mention of Alden's homophobia, the whole shebang. Please tell me if I should tag anything else.

Neopronoun notes: She/they/fi Marella, ae/aer Biana, xe/xem Dex, it/its Keefe, ze/hir Maruca, fae/faer Linh, he/hine Fitz

Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed!): @stellar-lune @ichor-on-my-hands @kamikothe1and0lny @nyxpixels @snowflakewolves @poppinspop @crystallinewalker @uni-seahorse-572 @tiergan-andrin-alenefar @books-over-boys @florida-llama-46 @when-wax-wings-melt @k00laidcrush @bowlcut-boyfriends @good-old-fashioned-lover-boy7 @dexter-dizznee @jamesdeangf

On Ao3 or below the cut!

Marella stumbles back into fire hideout, clutching fire shoulder. Fi replays the night’s events over and over in fire mind, trying to figure out how it could’ve gone better.

It started pretty normally, just having to deal with your average corrupt politician who got away with tax evasion. There might be some other charges, but it’s fairly routine by now.

It shouldn’t be, but it is.

But then he started packing his car sooner than expected, which is a sure sign that he’s gonna be going somewhere sometime soon. And chances are, it’ll be out of the country.

It’s not that hard to get to Mexico from San Diego, you know? Certainly easier than from, like, New York.

And then there’s the whole problem of getting innocent--at least to a certain extent--people out of the way.

But, thankfully, Emery’s wife is having an affair. Marella doesn’t have a clue who, and it really doesn’t concern fire. Fi also doesn’t have definitive proof, but it’s obvious when you’ve been borderline-stalking their house for over a week by now and she hasn’t come home before 10 p.m. once.

Yeah, some people work, but that’s kind of excessive. And this isn’t fi’s first rodeo. You learn to spot the signs.

Marella sits down on a stool, peeling fire jacket off, and grimacing the entire time.

Small shards of glass are sticking out of fire shoulder, blood dripping from the wounds.

Marella swears. Fi grabs a pair of tweezers and braces fireself before starting to pull them out one by one.

There was so much traffic this evening and for no good reason. That threw off all the calculations, and fi already had only a vague grasp of stoichi--whatever the word is. Some fancy chemistry thing.

Honestly, it was a good day if fi didn’t fall asleep in Mrs. Galvin’s class.

Marella didn’t think fi would have to time how long, in seconds, it would take for 1 molar HCl to eat through three sheets of aluminum foil so it can react with the baking soda and heat up the carbon disulfide until it starts to burn.

But here we are.

Because it took way too freaking long to get there, it was dangerously close to when Emery’s wife usually got home, and in fire hurry, fi couldn’t get out of the blast radius in time.

Exploding windows are my favorite kind, fi thinks bitterly as fi pulls the last shard out of fire arm.

As Marella is trying to get the crusty dried blood that isn’t covering a hole off, fi starts muttering about how Dex caused all of this.

Xe’s the best source for chemicals anywhere around here, and is oblivious enough to buy fire crappy excuses of why fi needs more HCl.

That or xe knows and just lets fire believe that fi is believable. Either way, this current system is working, and fi doubts that xe is going to do anything to change that. Fi’s a well-paying customer, after all.

Marella us so caught up in fire internal monologue, fi lets fire guard down. And that’s never a good idea.

The floorboards above fire head creak with a footstep, and a stream of muttered curses start flowing from fire lips.

Fi throws on fire disguise in record time, carefully shrugging fire well-worn, fireproof jacket on before looping fire smoke-filtering mask Dex didn’t know xe made for fi.

It’ll have to do fi thinks, looking at the recent lacerations all over fire jacket, as fi creeps up the stairs.

Fi pulls a familiar knife out of fire pocket, tightly gripping its handle that has molded to the shape of fire hand after all this time.

Marella watches, crouching in the shadows. With each passing the second, the voice in the back of fire head wondering if fi is just being paranoid gets louder.

Fi’s about to give up when, softly, another floorboard creaks.

Marella wants to swear. Someone is definitely here…What are you doing?

Fi sneaks out of fire hiding spot, pressing fireself into a dark corner, hoping fi isn’t too obvious. It can be difficult to hide in an old, abandoned, concrete warehouse.

Ironically, that’s exactly why fi liked it in the first place. That, and the nice basement.

Marella gets fire first look at the figure, as they step into the light.

The figure seems to have a sixth sense to know fi is there, and as they make eye contact, their fight-or-flight responses both kick in.

The figure tries to turn and run, and there’s some primitive instinct that tells Marella to chase after them, to protect fire land.

It’s only a few steps before fi catches up, pressing them against the wall to prevent further attempts to run away.

As an added precaution, fi presses fire knife against their throat.

The figure’s hoodie falls back, revealing a terrified expression on a familiar face.

It takes much too long for Marella’s mind to put the pieces together. And those pieces all add up to fire girlfriend, Biana.

Fuck. Ae can’t figure out that I am who I am. That isn’t a conversation that’ll end well. That’s the kind of conversation that’ll put aer in more danger than ae already gets aerself into on a regular basis.

“So…um…hi?” ae whispers.

With the amount of adrenaline running through Marella’s body, it’s nothing short of a miracle that fi remembers to turn on fire voice scrambler. Because Biana recognizing fire voice would be real freaking bad.

“...hi?”

“How are you doing today?” Biana asks shakily.

“...It’s been kind of a shitty day, not gonna lie. How’s your day been?”

Biana shrugs slightly. “So-so.”

An awkward silence stretches between the two of them until Biana smiles slightly and says, “I’m Biana. Nice to meet you. I’d reach for a handshake…but…you know…”

“You can call me Aurora Irae. But you probably already knew that, judging from the whole outfit,” Marella says, using fire alter ego’s name.

“Also the knife,” Biana smirks. “So, yeah, I suspected. Although the news has been calling you Aurora Ignis.”

“I know. I’ve tried to fix it. Several times. The news has decided that a serial arsonist such as myself should have the Latin word for fire in their name. But I think I know my own name. Since I was the one that picked it. So it’s irae. I-r-a-e.”

“Pronoun pun. I love.”

Marella smiles behind the mask, glad it conceals fire true expression. Fi makes a conscious decision to ask, “What?”

“Nevermind.” Biana pauses before switching to an entirely different track. “Is it related to the dies irae leitmotif at all?”

The dies irae, where the ‘dies’ part is two syllables because Latin, is a super famous bit of music--just four notes, which are a minor second, and then a minor third. With that kind of minor key influence, even without translating the entire poem, you can kind of tell that it isn’t the happiest leitmotif you’re ever going to find.

It often is used to represent death, and it’s in everything from Star Wars, to The Lion King, to the sound Elsa is hearing in like the entire, like, first half of Frozen 2 to an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer Marella half-listened to.

If you want to know what it sounds like, “Making Christmas” from The Nightmare Before Christmas, is heavily drawn from the dies irae. As in the part where they say “Making Christmas” is the dies irae.

So if you ever hear some bit of music that sounds like “Making Christmas,” it could very well be an intentional use of the dies irae, and you should be looking for the death it’s foreshadowing.

If that doesn’t make it clear enough, the answer is yes. “Finally. Someone has culture. Have you played an instrument by any chance?” Marella asks, knowing full well that ae has.

“Yeah, viola for--wait, how many years? Since 4th grade. Seven-ish years. Close enough. You?”

“Like, maybe a year of clarinet. And then YouTube music theory channels that I can barely understand.” fi answers, with three years of clarinet under fire belt.

“You seem like a clarinet.”

“What?”

“I don’t know, just a vibe. You seem like you’d play clarinet.”

How the hell do you get that, Bi?

Marella pulls the knife just a hair back, away from Biana’s throat, enough to keep up appearances, but now that fi’s stopped shaking, fi doesn’t want to accidentally slit aer throat.

“Trust me, after dealing with instrument people, you start to give off a vibe. Why else would all the trumpets be arrogant arseholes?”

“Sounds fake, but okay.”

Biana laughs, and Marella’s stomach fills with familiar butterflies. “You’re not wrong. It’s like an instrumental gaydar. Wonder if it’s connected to my actual one.”

“Biana, a word of advice. Don’t tell the person with the knife know that you’re queer. What would you have done if I was homophobic?”

“Considering I don’t have a new hole in my neck, I’m pretty sure I’m okay.”

“Are you trying to get yourself killed?”

“Aw, are you worried about me?”

“Now I am!” Marella says, barely holding fireself back from revealing fire identity, because this is not okay. Fi also puts down the knife.

“Well, don’t. No reason to worry.”

There are a few obvious tells that Bi is thinking about Alden, and that is one of the most common one.

I’m so glad this mask hides any expression I might have. Because I’m ready to beat Alden’s ass and Bi doesn’t need to know that.

“Then why don’t I believe you?”

“Probably because you have to be paranoid enough to hold me at knifepoint.”

“Why did you sneak in here anyway?”

“My friends disproportionately enjoy daring me to break into places. It’s a gift and a curse. Been a while since I got caught. I honestly didn’t know you were here. Just thought it was your average abandoned warehouse.”

“Well, that’s why I picked it so that’s nice…I guess.”

Biana laughs. “You sound like my girlfriend.”

Oh, great. Forgot to disguise speech patterns. How am I supposed to remember that?

“We talked about this. I still have a knife. Don’t give me any personal details, if you can possibly help it. Because you don’t want questionably trustworthy people to be able to track you and the people you care about down.”

“I can protect myself, thanks.”

“Oh, Biana, how I wish I could believe that.”

“I’m tougher than I look.”

“You go on believing that,” Marella mutters.

“Hey, at least I don’t haven’t sent Alden Vacker a three page rant he because made some homophobic tweets…as much as I want to.”

“The news found out about that? Stars.”

“I really don’t know how they found out…it may or may not have been leaked by his daughtaer.” Biana smirks. “And they’ve decided you’re straightn’t, which just means they’re calling you gay until further notice. Because they don’t know any other terms.”

“Of course they did. But they were kind of right for once. I’m gay as hell. And I would appreciate it if you didn’t include that in your police report. I don’t need to piss off the homophobes more than I already do.”

“But pissing off the homophobes is fun…Also who said anything about a police report?"

“I’m pretty sure holding someone at knifepoint is some felony or another. And then there’s the whole arson thing but that’s whatever.”

“Um, so does breaking and entering, if I’m not mistaken. Or trespassing or whatever I’m doing here.”

“Okay, that’s fair,” Marella says, closing the pocket knife. If Bi wanted to run away, ae would have already.

“Thanks,” ae says sarcastically.

“You’re welcome,” fi replies, just as sarcastically.

“So does that mean I can…” Bi gestures towards the door.

“As long as you don’t tell anyone where I am. If you do, I will find you and slit your throat. And don’t try to find a legal loophole out of it like a politician.”

“Except for when it accidentally legalizes arson for people who don’t exclusively use binary pronouns.”

Marella stops. “Wait, what?”

“Yeah, in the US’s arson laws, it explicitly uses ‘he or she’ blah blah blah I don’t really care about the rest.”

“Is that why the news is so determined to use he/him for me? Because I have done my absolute best to present as nonbinary and yet here we are.”

“May I ask what you’d like pronoun-wise for my mental dictionary then?”

“I guess they/them works. Gender is yucky.”

Biana laughs, making fi’s heart flutter. They’ve been dating for months now and it still won’t stop with that.

“That’s the most correct thing I’ve heard all week. And maybe try looking into neopronouns if the trinary doesn’t feel like it fits.”

Marella nods, saying, “I will,” knowing full well that fi’d love to use fi/fire pronouns but that just doesn’t seem feasible. Aurora Irae can’t know about neopronouns before today, because that’s much too small of a community, so it’d be too easy to find fire from there, and Marella can’t just use fi/fire while there’s a serial arsonist running around.

“Alright. Then I guess I’ll see you never.”

“Bye. Remember, you better not tell anyone about this place.”

Biana turns to leave before whipping back around again. “Wait, one more thing. You remember Alden, right?”

“Unfortunately.”

“When he gets caught and then inevitably pardoned for tax evasion or something, put him on your list.”

Oh, great, Biana is trying to make an arsonist murder aer father. I knew their relationship was bad but holy fuck.

“Okay.”

“He’s a horrible, queerphobic bast--wait, you agreed?”

“Yeah, sure, why not? Small price to pay for security. Plus, he fits my business model.”

Biana smiles amusedly. “Business model?”

“Business model, modus operandi, same thing.”

Biana snorts. “I don’t think I’ve got anything else, so bye!” Ae walks backward, waving, and Marella spends the entire time worrying that ae’s gonna trip on something and hurt aerself, but ae somehow avoids all of the rubble that Marella likes to think of as interior decor.

It’s what makes aer so good at being in places ae shouldn’t be.

Fi waves halfheartedly, making sure Biana gets off fire property before sighing and climbing back downstairs.

As the adrenaline fades, the nerves in fire shoulder that fi’d been ignoring throw a fit, and peeling fire jacket off is more painful than earlier, with even more semi-dried blood fusing fire to fire jacket.

Fi finishes patching fireself up as best as fi can before beginning to pack up fire meager belongings that get left here unattended.

Yes, Marella trusts Biana, but that doesn’t mean Aurora Irae can.

And if ae doesn’t hold up aer end of the bargain, there’s no telling how severe the fallout will be.

It’s morning before fi knows it. Marella sighs as fi watches the sunrise, already mapping a mental route to the nearest coffeeshop.

It’s a jumble of emotions as Marella throws fire signature accelerant, designed to burn bright yellow with just a dusting of sodium--fi didn’t get to use it last night because of outside factors--and it wipes away any trace that fi’d ever been here.

There’s plenty of other abandoned buildings out there, fi tells fireself as fi watches the flames consume fire warehouse.

Marella is almost in a trance until reality comes back to slap fire in the face, and fi takes off running towards fire high school, with not nearly enough time to be on time to fire first class.

Don’t you people know that I have to go real estate shopping later today? I don’t have time for this much homework, Marella thinks bitterly, joining her friends in the hallway, who have already started joking about nothing, per usual.

But, it’s nice to have this normal high school experience sometimes, especially after last night.

“Bi, do you think you can maybe help me?” Keefe asks, causing Biana to sigh heavily.

“What’s your idea this time?"

It shrugs. “Just a little something for Principal Alina. I need you to break into her office for me.”

Biana, just like everyone else here, knows that this isn’t the whole story, but has given up fighting a long time ago. “Text me the details. I don’t have enough energy to argue.”

“You sleep alright?” Marella asks.

Ae yawns, and Marella notices the dark circles under aer eyes. “Yeah. I just had more homework than I thought.”

Liar. You didn’t have any homework. You told me yourself. I should be proud that you’re willing to lie for Aurora Irae.

Did you lose sleep thinking about them? As your girlfriend, that’s disappointing but understandable.

Maruca blows hir nose for the several hundredth time today. “I’ve probably just infected aer. You might be next.” Hir parents are convinced it’s just allergies. But we've collectively decided it’s one heck of a head cold. Antihistamines aren’t helping.

“Is that a threat?” Stina asks, smirking.

“Do you want it to be?” Ze looks at her, raising an eyebrow.

The others just collectively ignore the fact that they’ve been queerplatonically flirting for months now and yet, somehow, they’re still ignorant of what’s going on between them. So everybody willfully ignores it.

It’s not like you can tell either of them what they’re too oblivious to see.

Linh saves everyone, asking, “Wait, Bi, didn’t we send you off on a mission last night?”

Before ae can respond, Fitz joins the group, interrupting, “Yes, you did. And that warehouse was targeted by Aurora Ignis this morning. You should be lucky you weren’t in there. It’s all over the local news.”

“Damn,” Keefe mutters, not-so-discreetly watching its best friend’s ass as he walks away. It’s anyone’s guess where its statement applies.

“Anything interesting happen while you were there?” Marella asks, choosing to ignore Keefe. If you can’t tell, there’s kind of a trend here.

Biana swallows hard, and Marella sees a fine line on aer throat from last night’s events.

Worse case scenario, it’ll blend right into the car crash scars covering aer entire left side from a few years ago.

“Nope,” ae answers, voice shaking only slightly. If anyone notices it, they don’t point it out.

“Aw, that’s disappointing.” Keefe says. “Fitzy could use a prompt for hine creative writing class.”

Linh looks at it. “We’re in the middle of our poetry unit.”

“Hey, I don’t know how that works. Eddie Poe could probably figure it out.”

Fae shudders. “That’s because Poe is a motherfucking genius.”

“What would Bangs Boy think about your language, young laedy?"

“Tam is your boyfriend and swears like a sailor. Don’t even try that with me.”

“Uh, we’re on a break right now, and the fact that you don’t know that…my disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined.”

“I’m already a disappointment to my parents, do you think I care?”

Fae had to go there, didn’t fae?

“And so is everyone here. That doesn’t make you special,” Keefe argues.

Stina interjects, “No, I’m not.”

“Shut up,” Keefe growls, not as angry at it wants to seem like it is.

“Have fun with that. See ya later, bitches,” Stina says, turning away to her next class.

Keefe gets dropped off for its math class that it’s going to inevitably skip one way or another, and then Maruca and Linh get dropped off at their required US history class.

Nobody except for Fitzy wants to take that. And even that’s debatable some days, so you know it’s bad.

All that’s left is Marella and Biana, holding hands as they walk down to the science halls.

“You’re sure nothing happened yesterday, love?” Marella asks.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. No reason to worry.”

That just makes me worry more, you know that, right?

“Wow. So convincing.” Marella replies, piling the sarcasm on thick.

“I don’t want to talk about it, okay?”

Marella squeezes aer hand. “I’m always here if you need me. Maybe not in the physical plane and I might miraculously be away from my phone for a millisecond, but, you know, metaphorically.”

Biana just barely smiles, complex emotions that words can’t quite describe etched into every line.

“I’ll see you after class? ‘Cause you can’t get rid of me this easily.”

Marella’s hand slips from Biana’s grasp as she heads into her AP Chem class she regrets taking every single day.

Stars, I’m a horrible person. Ae feels like shit. Because of me and me alone.

But you had to make sure Aurora Irae’s secret was safe.

I guess. But there really isn’t much left to tell anymore.

You don’t know what could end up being your downfall. Your secrets will be safe as long as nobody knows anything.

That’s a really damn lonely way to live. But it’s not like I’ve got any better solutions.

#kotlc #marella redek #marella may #biana vacker #kotlc fanfic #'aurora irae' means 'dawn of wrath' in latin #more details of how i came up with that in the fic #originally marella's character's name was supposed to be nex #which is latin for 'violent death'#so i had to pay homage to that somehow #latin vigilante name it is #i can't seem to avoid going on random fact detours in everything i write #nevertheless im super proud of this #<3 #is this cliche?#probably #do I care?#not in the slightest

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uboat53 · 1 year

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Long time fan of the effort you put into your longer researched posts. From my prospective, the biggest issue none of the people you interact (in this case the pro gun community) with understand what they're talking about. None of them understand statistics. Sure, they may have a grasp on arithmetic, but they don't actually understand statistics. I don't expect them to understand the finer details of Bayesian probability, but they should understand at the very least what a hypothesis test is before throwing out garbage statistics. They also don't understand chemistry, and believe synthesizing chemicals without the proper equipment is easy. They always have this garbage story of "well I did it in highschool chemistry lab, it's super easy." Like, good-fucking-job, the graduated cylinder clapped too. They think it's so easy to just synthesize any chemical, and it will be of perfect quality without defects.

More often than not, the articles they link are just bad research passed on by the foolish to the gullible.

They way they talk, and how grotesquely simplified their arguments are speaks volume to how misguided their rational is. If they don't have a gun, then suddenly the US falls into a state of tyranny? Surely, that isn't a slippery slope.

The way they believe simply having a firearm means they're going to be proficient enough to use the tool effectively. It is ludacris rational. No different than how in undergraduate calc courses one can choose to use a calculator (tool) doesn't mean they're going to suddenly end up with a passing grade. They talk about going to a weekend class as qualified training (again trying to bolster this false bravado of themselves), no different than the f student who only copied the in-class examples of mechanical motion, thinking they're ready for the test.

The fact they are more often a danger to themselves and those in their immediate vicinity. we know the solution is restrictive access to firearms, and fortunately we as a culture are gradually gravitating towards this. Look this is a long-winded vent to just say why bother with this vocal minority? They lack any formal knowledge in the maths and sciences. They lack the capacity to fully understand the topics they're far too eager to engage.

Yeah, the lack of willingness to engage with real data has been a real throughline of most of my conversations about gun control. Even when I explicitly request that they provide sources, the vast majority have been unwilling or unable to provide anything beyond the famous Kleck or English studies which are so shot through with methodological issues that they're easy to debunk.

Truthfully, though, I no longer engage with an expectation of a real debate. I engage with the hope that someone other than the person I'm debating sees the debate and can be shown that the arguments against gun control are terrible. I've found that bystanders to debate in public spaces are a much better target than those who aggressively engage in the debates themselves.

Fundamentally, it helps to realize that a lot of the opposition to gun control is no longer rational, i.e. driven by reasons. They'll give reasons, but if you knock them down it doesn't matter because that wasn't why they held their belief in the first place.

Guns were once a tool, but now they've become an object of identity. People used to use guns for hunting, for property defense, or for personal defense, but the average gun owner these days has never used their gun for anything like that; they have to resort to "a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who used his gun against a mugger" type of stories.

If something is a tool, then it's easy to find compromises between usefulness and safety, but, if something is a symbol of identity, then any restriction has to be fought against with near-religious ferver.

That's pretty much where we are in the gun debate at this point as far as I can tell. Pressure is building for gun control and the seeming increase in mass shootings and murders will only make it build further. My prediction is that either those who oppose gun control will find some way to release the pressure in a controlled manner or, eventually, it will explode with results that will probably be even less to their liking.

#politics #us politics #gun debate #gun control

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sadtosick · 1 year

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I literally don't know how to put this into adequate words but I feel bullied by life I've never felt this low in my life. Lately it's been an on sight of memories from the past literally pile driving me into wanting to end my life I ask myself everyday when am I going to feel better. I've had people make it out to seem as if this is all some chemical imbalance in my Brain which maybe partially to blame but in general every bad feeling I've ever had any bad experience I've had in this life is due to someone inflicting pain onto me wether that be emotional mental or physical. I really thought this move I mad in my life would bring about a good change but that isn't the case it's been a year of me living where I am now and I almost feel worse than I ever have. Life is agony and torture and you couldn't convince me otherwise. That isn't even the cherry on top I think this agony is all some calculated plan of Gods honestly just see how long I can go before actually inflicting harm on to myself. I deserve to be happy but yet here I am every day of my life fighting to be just that. I want revenge on every person whose ever made you feel like I wasn't worthy or as if my life was lesser than there's. I want to bad things come to those people heinous, painful, slow tortuous things come to those people. It's been years of me holding back expressing myself feeling present in my own body feeling like I could die at any moment feeling so isolated because of the thoughts and feelings that I have and watching legions up on legions of people get the best things out of this awful life please don't talk to me about faith or application when I'm living on a wish a whim and a pray and borrowed time to get to even the surface level. I hate this world I hate my life and I hate the out come I wish death would find me sooner than later I wish death on everyone whose hurt me and made me feel sick inside for wanting to be the best version of myself. I've had enough stuff happen in my life to write Several books thats not what I want for my life I wanted to live my life and here I am being berated for being myself I hope I die and I hope that it's soon. I don't want to live thru another year like the last one I just had. I feel extremely alone and that's okay because I would never want to waste even one more second on humans and there unbearable evil weird ways. I just want off this planet now.

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cancerbiophd · 5 years

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Hi Julia, hope your day is going well! Do you have any tips for how to avoid getting discouraged when things don't go as planned for weeks or even months at a time? It's ok when the science "fails" and I need to troubleshoot, but find it really upsetting to continually make mistakes that could have been avoided. I've been in my lab for a year now, and I am STILL doing things that are costing me days to weeks to even months of time. My labmates aren't very supportive, which doesn't help

My PI is amazing but is busy and I don’t always ask the right questions. I feel like I’m failing again and again because I just don’t KNOW to check for certain things (I don’t make the same mistake twice). Did you experience this in the beginning of your degree? Does this ever stop? My PI has said that “being okay with failure” sometimes distinguishes who will and will and will not continue with science.. but this feels like personal failure, not science failure. Thanks for your help!!

Hello my dear! My day is going pretty great, thank you!

I’m sorry to hear you’re going through a tough and frustrating time. I know how that feels, and it don’t feel too good! So let’s see if we can make things better!

If I understand your message correctly, the mistakes you’re making in lab stem from being unfamiliar with the protocol/techniques used? And such mistakes are hard to avoid because you’re not receiving the best support and guidance?

I’m going to break this answer into 3 parts to try to cover as much as I can:

How to work with feelings of discouragement

Some things to try to mitigate mistakes in the lab

Some general questions to ask your PI regarding an unfamiliar protocol

On tackling feelings of discouragement:

A post on what I do when I have a bad science day (scroll to halfway down the post)

Take some time off for self-care, to stabilize your emotions, and to basically recharge. I try to not work in the evenings after dinner, and instead use that time to relax and unwind by doing something that’ll take my mind off work. Here’s a post on how to deal with/prevent burn-out.

And always remember: You have survived all of your bad days. And you will survive today too.

Also, “Success isn’t a measure of how many times we fall; it’s measured by how many times we get back up”. Be like Carol Danvers! Get knocked down? Get knocked down a lot? That’s ok! Just get back up. Get back up each and every single time!!!

Here’s a good post from a fellow grad student also dealing with failed experiments about the best way to look at experiences that challenge us (it’s geared specifically towards grad school, but is definitely applicable to many other things in life). It made me feel better when I saw the post, so I hope it’ll let you feel the same way!

As for me: I’ve definitely made my fair share of mistakes whenever I started in a new lab or tried out a new technique/protocol for the first time. And I still make mistakes, even in my 5th year of grad school and hmm almost 8 years of lab experience. Heck, just yesterday I kept missing treatment time-point after time-point because I wasn’t paying attention to the time! And this was like a protocol I’ve done dozens of times before. But, it doesn’t mean I’m less worthy of a grad student, scientist, or person; it was just a thing that happened, a thing that’s a part of life. I know we scientists aren’t alone in making mistakes, even after decades of experience. Otherwise malpractice insurance for doctors wouldn’t be a thing, right! So even the most experienced person will still make mistakes, because that’s part of being human. And biology in general now that I think about it, because not even polymerases are perfect when copying DNA.

It’s ok to make mistakes, especially if you’re essentially learning as you go. It’s all part of the growing process, and thus a part of life. But once we’ve made those mistakes, then we’ll need to think about how to avoid them next time (like I’m definitely gonna start setting alarms on my phone for time-points), and also how to prepare for new things in a way that’ll decrease mistakes being made in the first place.

Some things to consider doing in lab to mitigate mistakes:

Do as much online research beforehand as you can about the technique/protocol/equipment/reagents/etc, so you can actively understand the process, such as knowing which steps to be extra careful on. Not necessarily spending hours reading every methods paper out there, but spending some time googling the technique, the equipment, learning the basic science behind it, etc will be helpful.

Look up videos of the technique online. Youtube and JOVE are fantastic resources for this. When I first started doing tissue cell culture, I looked up a bunch of videos on basic techniques so I knew what to expect, and it definitely helped because my brain didn’t need to focus on seeing something new for the first time (like a cell flask), and could actually pay attention to the person teaching me.

Type up a version of the protocol with your personalized detailed notes (eg. if a reagent needs to be diluted ahead of time). I modify protocols all the time with my own little reminders and cheatsheets (esp for calculations), and they’re sometimes a work-in-progress for months.

If possible, try to do a practice run first with unimportant samples so you get a hang of things. If that’s not possible, instead go into the space where you’ll be doing the experiment and just go through the steps in your head (with the power to fast-forward incubation/wait times of course), including walking over to this fridge for reagent x, and that chemical cabinet for reagent y, etc.

Talk out-loud as you do the steps. I find this helps me during complicated protocols or if I have a ton of samples. (I work in an open-lab space so I’m sure the people next door are like wth but listen, I’d rather they think I have an invisible friend than mess up an experiment!)

Try not to schedule too much to do during the day of the experiment, so you don’t feel like you need to rush anything. I also like to plan out how long each step will take time-wise, and then calculate how long the whole experiment will take me (+ an extra 30 min to 1 hr), so I can plan the rest of my day around that experiment (or vice versa).

Prepare as much as you can before the actual experiment, such as labeling tubes, laying out tools, doing all the calculations, making reagents, etc.

Sometimes listening to something (like music) helps people concentrate, especially when doing repetitive stuff like lab work. My lab manager has to have netflix playing on her phone while running experiments; I think the background noise helps her stay focused.

Talking to your PI:

I know your PI is busy (and all PI’s are), but they have a responsibility to make sure things are going well in the lab, as these results are literally their livelihood! So I don’t think it’s too much to ask the PI to meet with you for even just 30 min to discuss an experiment. I also think it’ll be a good idea moving forward to schedule a 1 hr weekly meeting with your PI to discuss this and other things, like data, etc, if you haven’t done so already.

Here are some general questions to ask your PI regarding a new protocol:

“I’m going to be doing this for the first time. Is there anything I should be aware of before I start?”

“Do you have any tips for this protocol?” or “Are there any resources related to this protocol you think will be beneficial for me to look at before I start?”

“Could you take a look at my experimental design/calculations?” or “I have a question specifically about ____. Do you have a minute to make sure I planned/calculated it right?”

A few last words:

Things will get better. You will get more experienced as you take everything one step at a time, one day at a time. And as that happens, you’ll learn the best way to design experiments, including what questions to ask your PI. Everything will come with time, and practice. You’re going to be ok anon. You’re going to be ok :)

#Anonymous #grad advice #lab advice

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