theabysspaimon

[theabysspaimon]

*Venti and Zhongli sitting in jail together*

Zhongli : So who should we call?

Venti: I’d call Raiden, but I feel safer in jail.

[theabysspaimon]

Jean: Kaeya, I need you to be my eyes and ears.

Kaeya: Okay, but you have to be my liver and prostate.

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[theabysspaimon]

Yae Miko, talking to Ei on the phone: Did you preheat the oven like I told you to?

Ei: You bet!

Yae Miko: At what temperature?

Ei: 535.

Yae Miko: That's the clock.

Ei:

Yae Miko:

Ei: 536.

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[theabysspaimon]

Zhongli: We’re getting someone new in the group. It's Kusanali.

Venti: Are we stealing them?

Ei: New or used?

Zhongli: Wonderful responses, both of you.

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[theabysspaimon]

Itto: Jail is no fun. I’ll tell you that much.

Shinobu: Oh, you’ve been?

Itto: Once. In Monopoly.

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[theabysspaimon]

remember kokomi's original design, mimi? in my opinion mimi>kokomi, but what do y'all think?

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[theabysspaimon]

Ei: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning.

Yae Miko: This is a lie.

Yae Miko: I'm literally dating her. This is a lie.

Yae Miko: SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS!!!

[theabysspaimon]

[theabysspaimon]

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

[theabysspaimon]

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

I support bi people but let me just quickly clarify: It would not be okay if a bi person asked to pet my dog and then just took the dog and ran away. You can’t just steal a dog like that. Being bi is fine but kidnapping pets? Not cool. 

… I’m pretty sure you read that and thought “What the heck”. I may be technically correct to point that out - stealing a dog like that would be illegal and not okay, for sure! But there’s zero connection between bisexuality and dog theft. 

Bringing up dog theft while talking about bi people suggests that bi people are highly likely to be dog thieves. If I mentioned dog theft every time I talk about bisexuality, the people around me would probably start to believe that to be true - even though that’s not based on any real statistic. 

They would start to be suspicious of bi people around dogs. “Some people just fake being bi, so they can steal dogs. That’s a fact. You hear about that all the time!”. And over time, bi people would find themselves in that weird spot where they feel the need to apologize for something that’s not even true. Young bi people would worry “What if I’m just one of those fake dog-stealing bi people?” or “If I come out as bi, people will start to tug on their dog’s leash to hurry away from me and that would break my heart, I would surely never find a job working with animals. And what if someone sees me walking past a dog park and just decides to beat me up?”

This sounds ridiculous - because it is. You probably don’t even feel the need to google “dog theft and bisexuality statistics” to prove me wrong. But maybe you did look up “pedophilia and homosexuality statistics” or “are trans people more likely to be rapists?” before.  Because, as ridiculous as the scenario above is, it’s not that far-fetched.

People bring up random bad things that have nothing to do with sexual orientation and gender identity when they’re talking about sexual orientation and gender identity - and it affects our lives.

I know I had these discussions before and felt that need to apologize and pull up statistics to prove I’m not dangerous. I know I had these “What if” thoughts I talked about above and spent nights crying over them. Maybe you did, too. 

It’s a horrifying reality that the false idea that we are dangerous actually endangers us - and that’s why I know I can’t fix those worries with a cutesy “Everything will be okay”, so I won’t try to end the letter that way. Instead I just want to remind you that there are people who know that “bisexuals are dog thieves” and “the lgbt+ community is full of pedophiles” are equally nonsense. There are people still stuck on those false ideas but there’s also a lot of backlash against them. 

We may not be there yet but I really am hopeful that one day, “lgbt+ people are dangerous” will elicit the same “what the heck” in society than the beginning of this letter did in you. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

[theabysspaimon]

Ei: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning.

Yae Miko: This is a lie.

Yae Miko: I'm literally dating her. This is a lie.

Yae Miko: SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS!!!

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[theabysspaimon]

Ganyu: Have you seen Xiao around here?

Keqing: Ugh, yes. He made a horrible mess of the blood fountain.

Shenhe: It looks fine to me?

Keqing: IT USED TO BE WATER!!!

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[theabysspaimon]

Tumblr users will see a post mentioning a day if the week and just fucking black out and reblog it

[theabysspaimon]

Fischl: You're right.

Mona: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

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[theabysspaimon]

oh my god? 

[theabysspaimon]

Shinobu, in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something.

Itto: I saw a squirrel in a tree today!

Shinobu, with the tone of someone who is used to Itto: Outstanding.

Shinobu: This is what I’m talking about.

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[theabysspaimon]