CHRIS HEMSWORTH
Behind The Scenes of Thor Ragnarok (2017)
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CHRIS HEMSWORTH
Byron Bay, Australia
February 2, 2024
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More Rough Draft Nonsense! ::throws it to the wolves::
The Scruffy Man went into a panic. “I can’t get arrested before we get to Asgard.”
“Why do you think–”
“This is a royal ship. See these sigils, dumbass?” Scruffy Man pointed toward the symbols painted throughout the cabin. “That’s the symbol of the royal family.”
Thor didn’t see what the commotion was about. “And?”
Scruffy Man grabbed the front of Thor’s shirt, intent on shaking him like a ragdoll. “If we’re caught in a stolen ship we’re going to jail. J-A-I-L.” The pained look on his face gave Thor sympathy pains. “I can’t warn the royal family if I’m in prison.”
That got Thor’s attention. “Warn them about what?”
The Scruffy Man released him with a disgusted sigh. He ran a hand through his wavy hair, inadvertently drawing Thor’s attention back to it. Thor idly wondered how it would feel to tug on that—
“I don’t know how much you know about Asgardian politics–”
Thor almost laughed but held it back, it was too soon to give the game away.
“The Crown Prince is getting married next week,” the Scruffy Man explained. “The dude’s he’s marrying, that guy’s dad sucks. I think he’s using the wedding as a distraction to do something bad.”
This conversation wasn’t going where Thor thought it was. “What sort of bad?”
“Like–” The Scruffy Man glanced away. “Destruction of Asgard bad.”
That was when it finally hit Thor. He wasn’t certain why it hadn’t occurred to him before but Thor supposed he had been distracted by a rather excellent handjob. “You’re Peter Quill.”
“What?” Now the Scruffy Man was on the defensive, backing away. “How the hell do you–”
Thor threw up his arm, blocking the Scruffy Man’s nee Peter Quill’s path. “Do not fear,” a rather silly thing to say considering how he was caging Peter in. “I too am interested in the safety of the royal house.” With his free hand, Thor reached out with his magic, commanding his mighty hammer to return. The resounding metallic whir and pleasant thunk sound as the hammer struck his palm signaled Mjölnir’s return. Thor waited for Peter to be impressed.
The other man just gave him a blank stare. “Are you going to hit me with that?” Peter asked.
“No.” Thor was slightly offended he’d even been asked. “That’s Mjölnir.” He waited for recognition, stewing slightly when there was none. He’d have to come out with it then. “I’m Thor.”
That got a reaction. Peter winced. “Ah, shit.”
“On the contrary,” Thor said, “this is rather fortuitous.” His father had told him to enjoy himself one last night before settling into his responsibilities and this was going far better than he could have planned. Running into his would-be fiancé was far more entertaining that laying with a Contraxian sexbot. And speaking of laying, Peter had made him a deal.
“You will tell me everything that your father has planned, however--” Thor leaned forward, whispering if for no other reason than to watch the Midgardian squirm. “I suggest you get naked first.”
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Peter: “come on rocky, show me what you’ve got!”
Rocket: “*snort* kehe, just keep up if you can, baby boo!”
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Chris Pratt in the Michelob ULTRA Super Bowl commercial
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