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theythemitalian · 2 months

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theythemitalian · 2 months

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is his light any less worthy in reflection

#reflection #light #massachusetts #new england

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theythemitalian · 2 months

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The Wilbur soot situation reminds me of the SuperMega incident. Let me explain.

I want to say, before I get called names that I am a ‘trust victims’ kind of guy, especially since I am a victim of domestic abuse, sexual assault, emotional abuse, the list goes on. Being doubted is heartbreaking because you have this fundamental optimism in the people around you to be there for you, but all of it is lost once something you’ve been through is dismissed. And I want to say something I think is also important…in the rare instances where accusations are false, the one who was falsely accused is a victim themself. They are a victim of that false accusation and of abuse. Being subjected to the consequences that follows after being accused of something horrific over someone’s lie is an abusive action that has caused people to resort to suicide.

I also want to say that I’m not a fan of Wilbur Soot. I listened to the 1st EP when it dropped because the Minecraft youtuber fans made everything related to their Minecraft fanbase trending, and I hated the one song I listened to. Listened to it for a minute and never went back. I stopped watching Minecraft YouTubers in high school. I’m in law school now. I heard about this issue 4 days after his twitter post.

But anyways, a lot of things regarding this drama is sounds familiar. Having watched a portion of Shubble’s recording discussing her relationship, a lot of the things she says is odd or is delivered strangely. For example, she states that him asking if it was okay for him to bite her should’ve had been read as a red flag. Rewrite her statement, add in “asked for consent” — which synonymous to what she said, then her logic doesn’t make sense. She states later on that he ignored the safe word, but each time she discusses when he would “ignore” the safe word, he would soon stop. He would bite harder or grind his teeth for a moment sometimes — her words, but in her twitter post she suggests something that I find to be really important. Here’s a direct quote: “He either didn’t take my pleas for it to stop seriously, or he didn’t hear them at all.”

Why suggest an alternative explanation for his behavior if you’re entirely sure that he is 100% to blame? Especially if you’ve admitted that you never told him that you wanted to stop being bitten. That’s the key thing that blew me away, and what’s shocked me significantly after seeing people drumming up all of this on social media—nobody is talking about the fact that she, in her initial statement in the video, said she had issues with communicating her feelings to him. I understand to some degree, sometimes when dealing with an abuser it doesn’t feel worth it to even say anything. But this is over a behavior that is ESSENTIAL to address in a relationship!! Nobody can read people’s minds, Wilbur and Shubble cannot read people’s minds, they cannot read each others. Being nervous to discuss your feelings is understandable, but you have to get over that anxiety for the sake of having a healthy relationship.

This is where I find things to be very similar. With the SuperMega situation, a lot of the issue arose around a lack of communication. The victim bottled up her feelings and that created an unfavorable consequence that she then blamed on Matt and Ryan. She focused away from the issue at hand, Don’s abuse, and began bringing up irrelevant details because her statement was obviously an impulsive decision. Both her and Shubble did not create a script, they made these videos impromptu and the discussion delved into irrelevant topics. What were the irrelevant topics in this case? Wilbur’s declining mental health. Shubble brought up the obvious side effects of a worsening mental state as a point against him, as evidence of him doing her wrong. This is akin to Matt and Ryan being accused of making fun of their friend’s suicide, calling him a “coward.” Not only was it false and completely misrepresentative, it brought up traumatic memories for them both. Ryan was the one who found their friend after he had committed suicide. But in this case, Wilbur was the one who was in a deep depression and the side effects of it was now being publicly mocked.

Why do I think it was the result of worsening mental health? Because in his statement, Wilbur says this, “These actions caused a lot of pain to my ex-giritriend and l've since sought therapy to address these behaviours, making significant lifestyle changes to rectify my past actions.” Nobody goes to therapy to learn new organizing skills and how to do laundry. They go to therapy to address their mental health. In the sentence prior he states “regrettably became” which suggests he changed over time. He wasn’t always that way. Later, it also comes out that Wilbur had to be talked out of committing suicide. As someone who had also has been talked out of suicide, the fact that this information is being made public is deeply disturbing to me. The fact that I was suicidal then was also being mocked by many people I personally knew at the time, and the idea of me being humiliated for having a friend help me sounds like a horrific nightmare. The fact that Wilbur’s friend was underage at the time hardly matters. It’s not an adult “making a kid deal with their issues” it’s friendship. They had also been coworkers because they made content together. They were very close. People under 18 and those over 18 can be friends and they can talk about serious stuff. It’s dubious at its worst. But we don’t know the ins and outs of that situation. Was it out of nowhere, where he suddenly discusses the issue, or did he ask if he could talk about it? Nobody knows. It’s more he-said she-said bullshit. The fact that he was suicidal is irrelevant. The fact that he had become irritable and slobbish because of his declining mental health is irrelevant. Is it okay to be irritable when depressed? Obviously not. But treating the person as if they were purposefully being irritable, when they had an illness that was making them that way, just rubs me the wrong way.

With the accusation of love-bombing, I don’t think it counts as so. My rapist was a love bomber, and it was instant. She complimented me non stop, was stating things that highly suggested that she “loved me,” even suggested that she would move across the country for me to go to the law school I want to go to…THREE DAYS AFTER WE STARTED DATING. By the end of the next week, I had been raped. I was deeply anxious the whole time, I was worried that it was what it actually was, but I brushed it off after thinking to myself that she may just be very clingy and I was just not used to this level of affection. Wilbur admitted that it had been awhile since he had dated people and he obviously was clingy. But was it love bombing? I’m not entirely sure. It was a month and over a month after they started dating that he had said “I love you” and whatnot. It wasn’t a Ted Mosby moment like I had experienced. This also goes into another thing I find strange…Shubble said that it was very odd and almost manipulative that Wilbur changed his mind on whether he wanted to have kids and whatever. At first he said he wanted kids then later changed his mind. I don’t see the crime in this?? He’s in his 20s, she was too. He said he wanted to have a kid, then after Shubble asking, he said he didn’t want a kid. He was honest. It’s never implicitly stated that he hid that information from her. It’s just a very odd thing to focus on, the same way it was odd that Ryan’s partner was brought up in the SuperMega situation as “proof” of Ryan’s bad behavior. He referred to his trans partner as his boyfriend, which was accused as being transphobic, but we came to learn that his partner is in the non-binary spectrum. It wasn’t misgendering at all and it was irrelevant.

From what I think about this situation, I think Shubble after her 10 months of thinking over the situation, came to this realization suddenly and made an impulsive decision to talk about it and it’s spiraled out of control. That is what it is to me. Not her purposefully being a bad person or making so and so look bad. Just a mistake. The same way in the SuperMega situation they made mistakes, but weren’t terrible people worthy of having their careers ruined over mistakes they made in their relationships and in their careers.

It’s pretty clear to me that within the next few days or weeks, Wilbur will come out with a video that clears everything up, and everyone will do the exact same thing they did with the SuperMega situation…apologize and act like they were purposely led astray. I was on the SuperMega hate-wagon at first. But then their videos on the subject dropped and I changed my mind. I learned from that situation and now I apply a healthy level of skepticism. I’m not going out harassing anybody for whatever, I’m just waiting for more information.

I think it’s very upsetting how the internet has made it seem like being skeptical or wanting more information before making a decision is a moral failing.

This is also why I think these callouts in general need to stop. Along with the news about Somerton’s suicide, I wholeheartedly believe that a lot of good can come from these YouTubers and streamers talking in private. Do we really need to know about their relationships? Do we really need to know such sensitive information about their personal lives? No. We don’t. It doesn’t personally involve us at all.

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theythemitalian · 2 months

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"No, we don't do that here." -Me

#update #tumblr #tumblr update

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theythemitalian · 2 months

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they should make it easier for trans girls...

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theythemitalian · 2 months

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#massachusetts #new england #new england aesthetic #new englandcore #photography

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theythemitalian · 2 months

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i wish i could post my holistic experience all at once, the music im listening to, the smell of spring on the air, the slow movement of the clouds, the intentional photos captured by my phone and those unintentional captured by my eyes during the process. id like to share a moment in my time with everyone everywhere forever.

#art #wish #dream

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theythemitalian · 2 months

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