throwingpoetryintheworld

[throwingpoetryintheworld]

big fan of repetition in poetry. like hell yeah say that shit again

[throwingpoetryintheworld]

I feel like we always see parents who are 100% super supportive allies, or parents who are horrible and cruel.  At least in media or in the most popular stories.  But I feel like that ignores just how many people have parents where you just have no idea?  And even if you think they’ll accept you on a surface level, you don’t know if they have a breaking point.  Especially if you need to go on hrt, or request they change the way they think about and refer to you.  Sure they’re liberal and all, or centrists, or “tolerant”, but how far does that stretch?

I think most closeted LGBT+ kids live like this, wading around in the grey area.  I’d like it of more of us knew that was normal, I’d like if we talked about it more.

#and what hurts is when parents don’t even realise that they’re doing this #like my parents try and I appreciate them for that #and it’s that thing of just being like there will always be part of my identity in a box when I’m with my parents #because there are small things they say that just mean im not entirely sure about their thoughts #like my mum asking me whilst taking my ‘shh no one know im gay’ mug if I’d ever call myself straight #or being like oh too many people use they them pronouns nowadays #and misgendering my sisters friend in a way that could be intentional

[throwingpoetryintheworld]

Tipsy on Loneliness

If people ask why I texted you that night

I’ll say I was drunk, or maybe just tipsy

Drunk on the loneliness of 1am

Feeling like no-one cared, missing a close friend.

Even so the texts I’m sending you aren’t very me.

Instead they’re reserved with no feeling, no emojis-

Just fullstops, accurate spelling and grammar

That’d make our English teacher proud.

There’s only veiled emotions, making plans and careful organisation

To see you again in person, irl.

To build up what we were again.

Texting you opening with a handshake not a hug.

The hearts that pepper my texts don’t appear

Because my love for you is healing

And I still don’t know how I’m feeling

Will things go back to normal?

I haven’t given up on the grudge lodged in my heart

Until I let you in on my hurt,

And hear yours spill out, if you’ll let me.

I listen to break-up songs and think of you

How our friendship is messier and it should be.

This will never be a clean break

I don’t want it ever to be, because

When I blocked you, I left you with a part of me.

You were my partner in crime for such a long time

Sharing dreams, stories, plans, arguments

Our texting style to each other was a whirlwind, turbulent.

But now I’m overly polite with everything I say to you

It’s time to start again, I want to let you back in

Because you’ve always stayed under my skin

#tumblr poetry #poetry #writing #my writing #poet #lonliness #friendship #careful #texting

[throwingpoetryintheworld]

You’re trying to change the future to change the past.

Lost control of me in your crowd and now 

We’re more like one group that won’t last, 

As I’m moving on soon and yet 

You won’t stop that getting to to you. 

It doesn���t matter though because 

What’s happened is set in stone 

But you have to know friends aren’t something you own 

And you can’t keep telling me what to or not to do

No matter how much you matter, no matter how much I love you.

So now I’m across the sea but still a threat

To what, I don’t know.

It doesn’t matter though because 

What’s happened is set in stone 

And I know they they know what you said, but I’m alone

Not letting you tell me anything at all 

I blocked you and started building up a wall; 

Starting to see some of your toxicity

And some of mine. 

I only wish right now we didn’t just have online 

That I could talk to you in the flesh and blood 

But even then who knows what I would say

I want to yell and cry in your face 

You don’t know how much pain you’ve caused 

But then neither do I. 

This friendship needs to be built back from the ruins 

With new walls and foundations from new memories.

Reinventing us. Because 

What’s happened is set in stone

And I’ve knocked it all down and won’t pick up the phone 

The past is set in stone 

And when I see you again we’ll both have grown 

But our past will always be ours 

Together.

#lol wrote this because after getting added to a group chat of friends that i know through one friend she asked me to leave #she was my best friend and now i don't know #but yeah enjoy this first post #i blocked her because i needed space and now who knows what i'm going to do #technically this has a title but it has her name in it so i'm not going to use it #poetry #tumblr poetry #poet #friendship #friend #ex-friend #no longer friends #writing #my work