tragiclyheartless

[tragiclyheartless]

it is occurring me thaf i can only take so much. just kidding im the strongest girl alive and can withstand any thing

[tragiclyheartless]

Sent some passive-aggressive messages to that person and few hours later they reposted a reel abt a person going insane when they talk were asked about their ex best friend then transitioned to them saying ahhahah we grew apart

if that was about me and not anyone else, then I'd like to say, we didn't grew apart. I distanced myself bc you refused to listen. refuses to be guided to be better. hurting yourself and your surroundings. never thought abt the stress you put me through and never once asked how im doing. so yeah we didn't grew apart. I've just had enough

#that's it

[tragiclyheartless]

#vent #therapist friend

[tragiclyheartless]

thinking about how traumatic it is having your friend text u multiple times at night bc they wanna kill themself or they wanna get alcohol poisoning to death,,, sounds like i need therapy for that

#all the therapist friends should go to therapy #im doing alright mentally rn #but i dont know where i could get a psychologist that i could afford bc im studying abroad rn and i can't affprd shit #i think it'd be nice if i have therapist in case it get worse

[tragiclyheartless]

Im caffeinated and i cant focus but sleepy at the same time while trying to study in the library so i started tapping my feet and fidgeting and it helped me focus anyway,, looks like im not beating the autism/adhd allegations

#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #i am being beaten up by neurodivergent allegation w a stick #also i am shivering from both cold and caffeine #i shouldn't buy coffee but it was 8 and i was sleepy #aaaaaa

[tragiclyheartless]

please be nice to me, i'm in my twenties. do you know what that does to a person

#i know god is real i am in desperate need of help

[tragiclyheartless]

I'm rereading my posts here and i am sad

im sad that i can't be better and im still here even after all these years

looking back i feel like i should just die but i I'm still alive

I dont deserve any of these

i am so sorry

#im not doing anything harmful to myself tho #im just having a breakdown after my mom called me and I'm studying for a test rn and im having difficulties #thats it but i am still a let down to everyone #I'll cry after i do my hw and the test #wish me luck

[tragiclyheartless]

everytime my mom tells me that now i have to be successful in college bc i chose this and everytime my dad sends me money for living expenses i feel guilty bc I'm not doing the best academic wise and i am so sorry that they have to spend their money on me and i am drowning in guilt and assignment and i am so sorry

#i am so sorry #i know that my mom does that to motivate me and i do feel it a little bit #but it doesn't compare with the guilt #i am so so so sorry #i wanna cry but i cant #my heart is heavy and i am overwhelmed with guilt #college

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when the friend that uses me as her free and expendable therapist asks me to hang out

#i might say yes #this serves me as a reminder #i am currently being broke uni student and she's easy handed w her money #depends on what she's offering i might go but ehhh #if it's just lunch maybe not

[tragiclyheartless]

Look, you used me as a therapist friend and wouldn't even try to change for the betterment of your mental health even after professionals told you to. it's not anyone's fault at this moment, it's yours

#therapist friend #they're dead to me (literally) #mental health issue cw

[tragiclyheartless]

me and the person who used me as a makeshift therapist are still mutuals on socials, and they'd post a rant abt mental hospital shit or an elaborate way that they wanna kill/hurt themselves or someone else (usually their parents). eveytime, they'd also get community guidelined and they'd whine abt people snitching on her, like??? that is very rich person problem of you

#i dont wanna wish them death but i wont be sad if they do #cw self harm mention #death mention

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good night✨️ i have been very happy ♡ i hope i did well today and every other day. hope i made you proud for i have been grateful to be here i love you (even i never show it) and I'm truly sorry for being the disappointment i turned out to be. i know my words have hurt a lot and i have made a lot of people mad and im sorry for making you sad. sometimes i feel like hugging you tightly and apologize but my ego said no and i regret letting it win.

im sorry for this but i am scared to sleep as i don't know if I'd wake up. im really sorry.

#♡ #for mama and abi. genuinly sorry #i failed. sorry for not letting you know. sorry for being a waste. i don't think I could give anything better #im sorry

[tragiclyheartless]

nothing is going well! I do not like the fact that this always happens and this is all my fault! I am not the biggest fan of being alive rn! I dont want to die that much tho!

#is it the gifted kid burnout or undiagnosed neurodivergence #no one's gonna know! #i am so sorry #rant

[tragiclyheartless]

oh yea i am the family disappointment

#i can feel my parents' regret from raising me #with heavy heart i will have to say i want to perish #i am just tired #nothing works and i dont know why i never cooperate with what i want #i am filled with anxiety all the time #and i am trying to get away from it #but i cant and i wnat to throw up and split my head in half maybe then I'll feel better

[tragiclyheartless]

I think there's a difference between insane (tumblr), insane (twitter), insane (tiktok)

#insane (tiktok) is so fucking annoying imo #reminds me of my friend #do you get me

[tragiclyheartless]

Highkey don't wanna study in fully developed countries bc tuition VERY high and i dont have scholarship but my dad insiting and im like no dont pls u're gonna pay for this and this is NOT a good investment because you're investing on ME please use the money somewhere else don't do this to me

#at this point theyre pushing me and i dont want it bc THE TUITION IS INSANE #OKAY????? #stop asking for me to go there pleaseeeeee #for the betterment of everyone involved #i know its good but its above the price range I'm willing to spend #god college is already expensive dont make it more expensive #you!!! have!!! other!!! children!!! #no i don't want to doesn't seem great this is already very expensive don't push me to make an even more expensive mistake #AAAAAAAAAAAH #i have nowhere else to scream to

[tragiclyheartless]

Haven't talked to the friend who uses me as free therapy for months (but we're still following on socials) and while I'm really glad i ditched her i feel kinda guilty/pity seeing them whenever they post/tweet something abt their mental illness but its always like "haha🤡 my mental illness is acting up again 🤪🤣 gonna kms🥰😘"

#mental hospital outfit check 🤩😃 #they haven't changed a bit it's concerning now #they be like #i don't comment on it now #god yeah I'm tired #therapist friend #should i block them on social medias too?? like #idk #dont want them to see it as me cutting them off #i want it to seem like a fallout #yknow??