translannisters

[translannisters]

if rhaenyra had succeeded in ascending the iron throne, do you think daemon would have somehow found a way to secretly have the strong boys killed so his sons would be the heirs?

So Daemon is not a long-term planner. His whole thing is that he is extremely impulsive. I think it’s a pretty good indicator that when Rhaenyra DID succeed in ascending the iron throne Daemon was not planning and plotting to dispose of Joffrey to put Aegon on the throne but instead decided to abandon all of them to go on his suicidal riverlands bender with the sixteen year old dragon rider he met like 4 months prior. ​

like. sure naming a kid 4th in line aegon is suspicious as hell but was DAEMON machinating? no the only thing he ever fully calculated in his life was the angle of his final 720 helix spin eye sword dragon jump trickshot. which is why daemonomics was such a disaster when he was master of coin.

#i see 'daemon would NEVER allow his stepson to be made heir instead of his own sons' a lot as a take and it's always so funny to me bc #i get where they're coming from! but he did canonically allow that. is the thing #daemon targaryen

[translannisters]

Sorry if this is reaching for something that isn't there but I was thinking about how tywin basically commiting raped to both his son and tysha (while watching), and than later went on to sleep with the same sex worker his son had been sleeping with, and how...strange that all is. Like two incidents involving some sort of sexual thing going on between them (on tywin's part). Idk if it's just abuse and tywin's need to have power over tyrion but is there more to it? Am I wrong? Sorry if this is a silly thought

no you are absolutely 100% correct that there is something extremely evil about the psychosexual enmeshment of all the lannisters which goes beyond jaime and cersei and seems to originate with tywin. the first thing he did upon attaining power was having his father’s mistress whipped naked through the streets for two weeks. tywin married his cousin joanna (who i would argue really ends up as like a proxy in whatever psychosexual humiliation rituals were happening between tywin and aerys). Tywin enacts these violent sexual humiliation rituals with his children (most often tyrion who i think reminds him of himself but also cersei) who in turn enact them on each other. Tywin also appears to be very fixated on the power and authority of house targaryen and passed this to his children as well. there’s something there.

#jaime avoids the overt sexual violence from tywin but i'd argue tywin's fixation on getting him married off is also part of this pattern #tywin's had 15 years to get used to jaime being a kingsguard and not having heirs or being a heir himself and instead he simply. #pretends to not see it #tyrion lannister #tysha #cersei lannister #jaime lannister #aerys targaryen #tywin lannister #csa cw #rape cw

[translannisters]

🌻 jonquils Follow

NEED dick from a pathetic failknight who just lost all of his tilts

beneaththegold-deactivated12600

ugh this drought fucking sucks. maybe if we didn’t have a one-eyed k*nslaying freak in charge of the whole realm instead of an actual *rightful* king our ill luck might turn and we could actually enjoy the long summer.

⚔️ princebreakbeds Follow

it’s sooooo nasty seeing black//fyre supporters on the dash you KNOW they just hated King Daeron because he was neurodivergent

👁️ hedgeknightplumm Follow

FYI OP fought for the black dragon and took the lives of three loyal kingsmen at the redgrass field

beneaththegold-deactivated12600

oh so you support K*NSLAYING???

⚔️ princebreakbeds Follow

LMAO LORD RIVERS GOT HIS ASS

⚡️stormylands Follow

DNI if you support the d*rnish takeover of court

💫 webringthedawn Follow

L+ratio+it’s SEVEN kingdoms+unbowed+unbent+unbroken

🫧 seastarred Follow

“is prince maekar a DILF” the greatest thread in inn at the crossroads history, closed after 826292 pages of heated debate

🍒 tridenttrout Follow

seven hells y’all would fuck a k*nslayer if they were valyrian huh

shipbreakerslay-deactivated126490

you literally have bl**draven supporter in bio????

🐉 rhaenyra-did-nothing-wrong Follow

friendly reminder that dragons**d is a slur and only real valyrians should reclaim!!!!!

🥧 dragonstoner Follow

girl at this point we could ALL be aegon the unworthy’s bastards come on now🙄

💐 moondoored Follow

bracken son or blackwood daughter

#the way i read that first one as “lost all of his tits” #knights with top surgery hmu

[translannisters]

Thank you SO much for the shoutout. Everyone look at Jacob's tags. If you need me I will be screaming forever

I’m SO glad you called Ned an “enabler”.

Ned gets so much praise (and hate ??) for warning Cersei before wanting to sell her out to her rapist but I disagree with that praise. No one looks at the patriarchal violence lurking beneath. You know exactly the nature of the man you’re dealing with, you saw him slapped Cersei so hard she fell to the floor and threatening to slap her again, and you think giving one flimsy warning will be enough ?? Ned is absolutely a misogynistic fool. When Robert comes back from his hunt he’ll tell Robert the truth and he thinks Cersei will have enough time to flee with her guard and children and retinue ??

“Wherever you go, Robert’s wrath will follow you”, Ned knows that sooner or later (in a few weeks, a few months), Cersei and her children will be slaughtered, he just postponed their deaths. Ned would have received a letter informing him that Robert eventually murdered Cersei and her children and think “how could this have happened ? At least, I wasn’t the one holding the knife so I don’t have their blood on my hands.”

@translannisters and @kristevanstark have much more coherent thoughts about this than me on their very fun deeply excellent asoiaf podcast but yeah in AGOT ned ends up taking this almost wife-like role (stay with me here) with robert where he’s trying to gently guide robert into doing the right thing without ever setting hard boundaries or really flat-out saying no. And ned resents cersei for not being as good at this with her abusive husband as he is. you can really see it in that conversation with cersei where he straight up says well anyone (like me) would’ve been happy to marry robert why couldn’t you have just been better because as a fellow robert baratheon dickrider he refuses to acknowledge that there IS no “doing better” at gently guiding this chaotic abusive man with absolute power into doing the right thing when he does not want to.

ned stark is a HUGE enabler of robert with a big case of “i refuse to see it” syndrome. him watching robert hit cersei and not intervene is like when stannis watched robert hit joffrey and didn’t intervene or all of the standing by as atrocities happened that people like Jaime Lannister and Arthur Dayne did. It’s absolutely an essential part of his character but i think it can be hard to see because we only see him through his wife and children and vassal house’s eyes who still very much see him as a perfect martyr figure.

#this thesis oh my god!!! #the gnc starkgirl tradwife shaped gap and its consequences #ned stark #robert baratheon #cersei lannister #theon greyjoy #jeyne poole #ramsay bolton #lyanna stark #arya stark

[translannisters]

disco elysium like game where you're jaime in the riverlands

BRIENNE, MAID OF TARTH- Ser Jaime?

EMPATHY [challenging: success]- She trusts you. Enough to call you Jaime. When was the last time someone called you by your name?

ESPRIT DES CHEVALIERS [medium: success]- SER Jaime. Can you be more than the Kingslayer?

BRIENNE, THE MAID OF TARTH: Ser?

EMPATHY [trivial: failure]- Even in soiled pink satin and torn lace, she looks more like a man in a gown than a proper woman.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [trivial: success]- WHAT DOES THAT MATTER?? YOU WANTED HER, YOU WENT AND GOT HER, BABY!!!! YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!

DRAMA [legendary:failure]- Are you into that sort of thing, sire? What would your sister think?

BRIENNE, THE MAID OF TARTH: I am grateful, but…

EMPATHY [formidable: success]- She hesitates. She is not used to kindness.

VOLITION [formidable: failure]- The world isn’t kind. She ought not get used to kindness.

DAMAGED MORALE -1

BRIENNE, THE MAID OF TARTH: You were well away. Why come back?

SHIVERS [godly: success] EVERYTHING COMES BACK TO HARRENHAL. YOU ARE NO DIFFERENT.

EMPATHY: [medium: success]- How could you not?

ESPRIT DES CHEVALIERS [legendary: success]- You saw her, standing against the darkness with a flaming sword, and called her a fellow knight.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [trivial: failure]- SHE WAS NAKED IN THE DREAM!

COMPOSURE: [trivial: failure]- Which could mean nothing. Don’t worry about it.

DRAMA: [medium: success]- Sire, you cannot let her know you care about her. At all. Lord Tywin’s son and heir does not jump into bear pits out of sentimentality.

1. Ransom money is always a worthwhile hustle.

2. [Esprit Des Chevaliers- Medium 8] Knights rescue maidens.

3. For the glory of House Lannister, of course.

4. I am in love with you because you are my narrative foil and we are going to restore knighthood to glory with our matching oathkeeper swords.

5. [Drama- Trivial 3]- Come up with the perfect insult to remind her that the world is as unkind as you are and belief otherwise is simply naive.

HIGH- 83%

+1 Internalized Lannister Ideology.

+1 It’s what she expects from you.

-1 Told her about Aerys.

-1 Bi-Sexual Underground.

-1 You dreamed of her.

⚀⚀

CHECK FAILURE

YOU- A dozen quips come to mind, each crueler than the last, but nothing comes out.

COMPOSURE [godlike: failure] You can only shrug at the other knight.

YOU- I dreamed of you.

#BI-SEXUAL UNDERGROUND #asoiaf heritage post NOW #but seriously this is incredible. i want this game immediately

[translannisters]

also after walking into a pyre to die at the lowest moment of her 14 year old life and instead of burning to death enacting the miracle from her prophetic dreams that everyone in her family died and failed trying to do that brings magic back into the world for the first time in 300 years and three dragons who are loyal only to her and the next day there’s a giant red comet in the sky. what is this tenth grader supposed to do NOT suspect a little bit that she’s the messiah.

#i just watched dune part 1 for the first time and it activated certified Dany Feelings. #i lvoe her #daenerys targaryen

[translannisters]

cersei lannister had about 3-5 business days of peace at the end of a game of thrones where it’s like. plan she singlehandedly concocted to murder her abusive terrible husband THE KING goes off without a hitch literally flawless execution most successful kingslaying in westerosi history. rhaegar outfit at his funeral. anyone who suspects foul play is in the dungeon or on her side. coup d’état equally successful. her bastard son installed as ruling king. ned stark in prison about to swear fealty to the lannisters and get ransomed cutting hostilities off at the pass. one stark kid in custody and littlefinger promised to take care of the second one. annoying brothers-in-law scattered to opposite ends of the kingdom away from her away from each other not a problem. lysa arryn doing fuck all. tyrion in enemy custody and not the walls. father and brother going to war for her. also jon arryn who she never liked is dead as a freebie. and then she never came down from this high but can you blame her

#cersei lannister

[translannisters]

I really like your point that Cersei getting away with killing Robert really explains her mindset from then on. I’ve always struggled with loving her character as much as some people do but that kind of clicks it into place for me.

like yes joffrey deciding to murder ned stark in front of the entirety of kings landing fucked the whole thing but for 72 hours cersei murdered her abuser and got away with it, imprisoned his annoying enabler best friend and planned a pretty good political maneuver to stop his family from retaliating, was a better kingslayer than her brother, ran a more efficient coup than her father PLUS the brother she hated ended up in enemy custody and jon arryn is dead as a freebie. all off of her negligible middle school civics politics education she got as the girl twin. that is enough to get you high off your own supply for a lifetime.

#!!!!! #cersei lannister

[translannisters]

“Be my dog, ser. The night’s alive with promise. We can howl together, and wake the very gods.”

prince daemon and ser duncan 🎻🌳

#will never forgive duncan for fumbling this bag. not even fumbling he didnt even TRY #could not be me!!!

[translannisters]

you guys fully restarted my asoiaf fixation and also got me through the toughest week of school I've had this year! I love that you're tying psychoanalytic readings into it. horse/dragon/dog/direwolf gender theorem real <3

@kristevanstark <33333 thank you so much! This means so much to me and I'm also having a hell of a semester so I'm feeling so much solidarity. May we all be saved from school/work stress by the horse/dragon/dog/direwolf gender theorem

#hear me meow meow #asoiaf podcast

[translannisters]

have to get ahead of the dunk and egg show starting production and get in on whatever dumb insane joke we are doing about aerion brightflame in 3 years. marxist feminist is overplayed accelerationist is too easy. francis fukuyama end of history neoliberal it is

#i already use this joke incessantly in bnha fandom i'm ready to recycle it for dunknegg

[translannisters]

unbearably classic lannister moment where like the most righteous heroic society improving thing you do (jaime killing aerys, cersei killing robert, tyrion killing tywin) is also the thing that you are reviled for forever. who is doing it like them

#!!!! #jaime lannister #cersei lannister #tyrion lannister

[translannisters]

I felt some type of way for sure when I saw that HBO casting announcement go out looking for an actor of any race to play Dunk but specifically a white actor to play Egg. I'm so very far from a "but in the BOOKS they looked like THIS" person but when the only racialized description of the two we get in the books is that Dunk is *paler* than Egg this casting feels more than a little. Coded

i get that he's a blond but there's only so many times i can see lily white aegon v my buddy egg before i too do a summerhall

#hbo is so very obsessed with white targs! not just regular white but the Whitest Imaginable #the racialization of the targs in the books goes all kinds of ways a lot of them Not Good but. it's not The Whitest Imaginable

[translannisters]

WE ARE BACK (and the next episode should be out with significantly less delay)

Ned reaches peak "I can fix him" with Robert. Loras Tyrell invents One Weird Trick that 8-foot-tall war criminals in service to House Lannister HATE. Tyrion fights a battle (and your hosts fight technical problems). Arya encounters some wizards and a cat that believes in direct action. Chapters: Eddard VII, Tyrion IV, Arya III

[translannisters]

WE ARE BACK (and the next episode should be out with significantly less delay)

Ned reaches peak "I can fix him" with Robert. Loras Tyrell invents One Weird Trick that 8-foot-tall war criminals in service to House Lannister HATE. Tyrion fights a battle (and your hosts fight technical problems). Arya encounters some wizards and a cat that believes in direct action. Chapters: Eddard VII, Tyrion IV, Arya III

#asoiaf #valyrianscrolls #asoiaf podcast #a game of thrones #ned stark #tyrion lannister #arya stark #sandor clegane #gregor clegane #loras tyrell #hear me meow meow #Spotify

[translannisters]

erasing jon snow’s thing for transfems and femboys is so violent he is unknowingly carrying with him a forgotten part of his mother and to ERASE THAT…. what lyanna fought and DIED for… UNACCEPTABLE

#SO true #jon snow #lyanna stark #rhaegar targaryen

[translannisters]

feastdance dashboard simulator

💋queen-cersei-defense-squad Follow

it’s so sick that people keep criticizing queen cersei as if she’s not the first female ruler of westeros??? literally elevating bastards and women to her small council is super fucking progressive as is creating the precedent of dismissing unfit kingsguard??

🪨dragonstoner Follow

aren’t all of her children literally bastards born of incest

💋 queen-cersei-defense-squad Follow

oh so now you’re going to listen to stannis baratheon, known misogynist, kinslayer, fornicator, team green supporter, and homophobe, huh.

🦑pykedyke

okay guys i know there’s no “perfect candidate” but you have to vote in the kingsmoot anyways not voting is how someone like e****n g*****y wins and literally anyone is better than him. suck it up and row to the polls

🦈reaveherihardlyknowher

ohhhh not this “vote your crew no matter who” “blue lips man bad” bullshit again. fuck off idgaf which godless man sits the seastone chair i’m not voting for asha shes literally a neoliberal

🦷 lastoftheegiants

first i had to give up my rights and then i had to give up my gods just to not get killed by fucking wights but i literally cannot believe the nights watch made me give up my strap as part of the treasure ransom. shit was expensive it was IVORY. i hate southerners so much i hope the lord commander dies

🌪️kinslayerr

DO NOT COME TO THE RIVERLANDS

🍓silverspurs Follow

why

🌪️kinslayerr

there’s riverlands here

🧜‍♂️theythemderly

freys

🌾maidencool

my cousin got eaten by rats in harrenhal

🐎brackennation Follow

dumb cunts wearing raven feather cloaks strutting around who think they’re better than you but they’re not better than you

🌟sevenstar

i saw a guy get killed and then just stand back up and start fighting again because his friend kissed him on the mouth down here once

🦌whitehart

giant feral pack of 60 wolves running around

🍓silverspurs Follow

ok understandable have a nice day

🫧bastardwaters

i hate the fucking sparrows can we be normal for five minutes or can we just not have shit in the crownlands

☠️real-stormlands-patriot Follow

ITS LORD COMMANDOVER #RIPBOZO

🐦‍⬛mormonts-raven-bot Follow

CORN! DEATH! CORN!

(CAW! I follow members of the Night's Watch to remind them of their oaths!)

🦷 lastoftheegiants

????

🍋floriansjonquil

Loras Tyrell x Queen of Love and Beauty!Reader Imagines

Keep Reading

🪻maidens-smile Follow

girl this is notttttt the time he literally just fucking died at dragonstone?

💎oathkeeper

should’ve stanned jaime #LORASFELLOFF

💐flowerknight

one kill yourself jaime lannister is an honorless kingslaying turncloak two i heard loras tyrell was literally fine?

👊fleabottomtop

lord davos seaworth, the class traitor from the stannis baratheon administration, is a nasty little thottie and just died from making it clap in white harbor

🌅girlheir

this tower fucking sucks.

🌅girlheir

i’m just like rhaenyra targaryen for real

🌅girlheir

🐀ratcook5000 Follow

people meat tastes good asf when you don’t have a wench in your ear saying it violates guest right

🐺threeeyedwolf

🍒ladylance

need that targ girl in mereen to get those lizards over here and liberate this website by any means necessary cause what the fuck is going on